Harry Potter You Must Return for Year Eight!

[Schema]

The early August heat was exhausting. Either that, or it was dealing with the press. A combination of both maybe? It hasn't been this hot since before fifth year when I was laying underneath the window-
"Harry! Pay attention."
"I was thinking about the heat."
"Of course you were, but you still need to pay attention to the Minister of Magic."
I cast a tired eye to Shacklebolt who was looking at us in equal parts frustration and amusement.
God the way that Dumbledore wore that twinkle and Fudge wore that bowler hat, Kinsley now wears his amusement.
The once overly somber and serious man seemed to have done a nearly 180 turn since the early days of the war. I do not think he ever smiled once back at the Weasley's before the wedding, but that might just be a sign of the times.
"As I was saying Harry, you need to return to Hogwarts."
"Why?"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Merlin's Scepter will be activated, it will choose 9 Lords and Ladies of magic as well as a King. If you aren't made king you need to kill the new king!"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"The Curse on the DADA position will break and we need you there solidify the wards"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"We need you to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Because of a Magical Contract you signed by stepping on the train that you will finish your education there"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"There is a time loop going on an anyone who steps foot on Hogwarts grounds on September the First goes back in time to the day after you defeated Voldemort. I joined the loop after the fourth time, we are now on the twenty seventh and think you need to stop it."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"We discovered a room Dumbledore built that has all sort of weird plans involving you somehow dying or becoming Snape's love slave."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"The 666th solar eclipse since Merlin's death is coming and if a virgin wizard who defeated a dark lord isn't sacrificed all magic will be lost."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"High Elves and Dwarves appeared there and are demanding your presence."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Vampires have kidnapped the staff and are turning them one at a time."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"A seer predicted a zombiepocolypse and that Hogwarts would be the only structure left before the Zombies die."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"We found a portal to a world with these creatures called Pokegirls we want you to investigate"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"We found a portal to a world [Crossover] that we want you to investigate"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Harry looked back, gave a yawn, and said, "No."




Your guys turn.

 

[Knyght]

Your guys turn.

knight504 looked at the post, yawned and said, "No."

 

[Schema]

Your guys turn.

knight504 looked at the post, yawned and said, "No."

:mellow:
^_^

:lol:

At first I was like :mellow:
But then I was like :lol:

 

[nairit]

I cannot lie, I lol'd at this.

 

[Oni_kawaii]

"As I was saying Harry, you need to return to Hogwarts."
"Why?"

Because you never passed your NEWTS and you cant become an auror with out passing them.

 

[zeebee1]

Maybe I'm sheltered, but the only time I've ever read a story where Harry met high elves he was Snape's lover from the future.

 

[Obfuscated]

This whole scenario could work for the magical timeloops.

------

Harry stared. It was a good stare, practiced and copied and improved upon during countless loops into realities to make Eik... well not that cursed place, but almost everything look mundane.

He had carefully planned this loop for a long time. Okay, most the time came from waiting to start at the right time at the right place - at least seven years before the regular start of the loop in a situation where he could put his plan into motion - which meant being placed with the Dursleys and being monitored with frightening neglect. Which - to his surprise - was not always the case.

To start with he had put his various and sundry skills to use and found a muggleborn who graduated in the year before his first year to impersonate. Then he had carefully arranged to take his place - which turned out to be tricky, not so much impersonating his new identity but convincing the Hogwarts addressing quills that he was he in fact whom he claimed to be.
To make sure he could not be forced to attend again under the technicality that he did not attend as Harry Potter he even aquired an impressive number of oaths from various and sundry officials that they knew he he was Harry Potter attending under an assumed name. If they were confounded as to his true age, well if was good enough for the goblet of fire then was good enough for them.

Then it was a relativly simply matter to attend Hogwarts. That surprisingly went off flawlessly - no possessed teachers, no chambers, no tournaments, no rumors.
It archived his main objective Nr. 2: I wonder what Hogwarts would be like if no one expected anything from me. (Main objective Nr. 1 as always was: Derail Dumbledores schemes in new and interesting ways.)
He even looked forward to doing it again, maybe kicking it up a notch - How would Dumbledore react to a new Dark Lord NOT named Harry Potter maybe ?.

But for now he would have to deal with this. He noted that... roughly 3 minutes had been spent musing while staring at the three stooges. Well, if dimming of Dumbledores twinkle was anything to go by. Fudge soiling himself withhin ten seconds was given ever since having been subjected to, and copied from, Tenzou's stare in the Naruto 'verse.

Hogwarts suddenly sprouted a higher education system. The sheer number officials who could attest to knowing that Harry had attended Hogwarts anonymously for the past seven years had forced acklowledgment of his graduation rather nicely.
So suddeny Hogwarts was not only "the premier magical school of the Western Hemisphere, nah the World" - Fudge, two days ago justifiying the budget increase in front of the Wizengamot, it was the "first magical university in the World" - Fudge, same occasion.
Attendance mandatory for those of extraordinary magical talents.
Just in case Harry was unclear on the point Dumbledore had chimed in with "That means you Harry, clearly you are very talented to graduate a full seven year ahead of schedule".

He knew he should have faked his death, or maybe squibdom. Or charmed the quills to not be able to find his real name while he was convincing them to accept his faked one.

 

[Prince Charon]

Maybe I'm sheltered, but the only time I've ever read a story where Harry met high elves he was Snape's lover from the future.

I think there are some straight fics that involve high elves.

 

[zeebee1]

The wouldn't be worth reading. I can't emphasize it enough, that story was good.