A summary to forget...

[Moshulel]

Or how to make the reader avoid a fic at all cost.

I'm sure that everyone knows at least one such case. A summary so *smart* that you made sure you'll never touch what's above it in 100 years. This topic is dedicated to finding the *best of the best* summaries in that domain, from summaries that announce that the story has nothing in common with the series the section is dedicated, to summaries that are, to put it bluntly, dumb. Of course, those few exception that confirm the rule are also welcomed.

Here's one such example (of a summary I find 100% made of fail):

Haruno Sakura returns from America to find Uchiha Sasuke. They swore to be best friends forever but will their friendship turn into love?

There are similar topics to this one, but you have to read bits of the story. :sisi:

 

[bigbabidi]

Here's one I found a couple days ago.

When Sasuke's family pimps him out as a princess to some perverted Lord to sign a Trade Treaty, he didnÆt know that things can go worse. But they do go worse as the leader of a notorious ninja group kidnaps & falls in love with the æPrincessÆ Sasuke.

It's just so, so dumb. :no:

 

[Moshulel]

It's just so, so dumb. :no:

Then take a look at this one:

? ? Sakura used to be Risika, a girl who lived in the 17th century. She is turned into the blood lover of a powerful vampire. She believes that if she denies the fact, she won't fall in love with him...how wrong she wasMATURE CONTENT WARNING IN LATER CHAP.S!

 

[BlackSun]

Does this one count?

Two crazy girls land in Konoha after trying to steal cheesecake from orphans. Random chaos insues, and Shino gets a fangirl. No romance, just Shino stalking. Please review!

 

[Mereo Flere]

Tenma is the son of Kurosaki Ichigo and Ishida's twin sister Ino, what will this half Shinigami, half Quincy get up 2 and how will soul sociaty take the new's of this cross breed

...yeah.

I think I won't be clicking on that one any time soon.

 

[SimmyC]

Hmm. Here are a few...

Who said taking over the world had to be hard work? Rated M for later. Aizen decided to conquer Soul Society through an...interesting way, large amount of random body switching. Please read and review!

Another of my insane work. Please read and review! I want someone else besides Zero Asakura and Mist Hero to review it before I continue!Rated M for later chapters!Megumi X Keichii!Yes, incest love and evrything else!

There are things far beyond evil, the endless void of Shadow Magic that even makes God tremble in fear...the same power you have, Harry. GirlDADATeachSlightlyDarkPowerful! LXH! Major crossovers, including OMG, Bleach, Halo, Naruto, Halo, Mar, and Yugioh!

Just a few samples from... well, the same author. :sick3:

 

[WannabeKurt]

What happens when Naruto and the gang are Digimon and have to protect the world from the evil Churibemon! AHHH!

Nuff said.

 

[SirBino]

Iruka decides to mate his pet kitten, Naruto, when he goes into heat. This leads him to meet Kakashi, owner of Sasuke the kitten, and sparks fly. However, the pets are not the only ones who find their soulmates... SasuNaru, KakaIru

I've never read any of this story, I never want to. The images conjured by the summary are bad enough.

 

[PCHeintz72]

I've seen this one in the Hove Hina section last couple days, I've not gone to it:

Chaos Reigns Supreme by Roninofhinata reviews
Life continues with Keisuke. But many starnge things happen that may rock the Hinta house to its foundation. Keisuke's family, werewolves, timetravel, deserts and the girls leaving it all happens in Chaos Reigns Supreme. Please R&R
Fiction Rated: T - English - Action/Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,060 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-29-07 - Published: 4-26-07

Ok... this is supposed to be about Love Hina How exactly?

Heh... and what is 'Hinta' House?

 

[Antimatter]

Ja, Ja, its my own story about Love Hina. And yes its a random charactor I made up. Expect a update within the next month or so.

Tells you nothing about the story, other then it's probabaly a mary su.

Two delinquents are expelled from their school and are going to Ohtori to start over, but they dont realize how much trouble they're in! They have to get out before they are pulled into Ohtori's duels and seduced by the Principal! Review 4 more chaps!

again, just failure.

 

[tungsten]

SasuOC AU Okay so, here's what's up. My name's Rikka and I love soccer. But you know? The captain's a sexist. Time to beat some sense into Uchiha Sasuke ne?

Found this just now, not worth the effort of clicking

Also anything along the lines of:

I'm not good at writing summaries, but...

 

[PCHeintz72]

I have not read it, but I just now came across this one in the FicWad Just In Feed.

Feed: FicWad fresh-picked original and fan fiction
Title: Toilet Ghost by Lizard_Love Author: Lizard_Love
Amanda gets haunted by the ghost at the old Inn's bathroom. Category: Horror; Genre: Horror; Rating: G; Score: 0 (Unrated)
- http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=59992

 

[Lagrange]

I've seen a couple of authors who are actualy pretty good writers, but have horrible summaries (I get to the fic through a link or something, and only see the summary after I'm done with the fic). The grammer and spelling were all correct, but they didn't really say much about the story, or make you want to read it.

That being said, it wouldn't be hard to ask a beta reader, friend, or even just random readers to make up a better summary for them.

 

[Lord Raa]

I still can't believe that people read my fics, given the summaries I use. I mean look at the following:


Make Room for Daddy:
Random AU elements plucked from the ether to amuse and entertain you all. Or maybe not, I just don't know anymore

Project Mile Two:
Ranma's lineage brings new challenges.

Change! Getter ?:
I thought it would be fun to use this (relatively original) crossover element.

Furyouhin:
Alien slaves discovered in Tokyo? Whatever next?

Sausages, It was a Tuesday:
An evil Gendo. An upset Ritsuko. A pilot used as a pawn in a game. Come for the drama, stay for the omake!

 

[Fatuous One]

Lame^N=

[FSN] Rider discovers the path of least resistance.

 

[runestar]

I still can't believe that people read my fics, given the summaries I use. I mean look at the following:

The infamy of the "Lord Raa" moniker spreads far and wide, and pretty much speaks for itself.

 

[lokinishizaki]

73. Renaissance by Pickled Death reviews

? ? Uchiha Itachi.
? ? Naruto - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,107 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 9-18-04 - Published: 9-18-04

Sigh.

41. l__________________l by empty2 reviews

? ? _________________
? ? Zelda - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,671 - Reviews: 71 - Updated: 7-29-00 - Published: 7-29-00

Well, I guess this isn't a bad summary, just an empty one. And 0 is always better than negative.

 

[PCHeintz72]

I still can't believe that people read my fics, given the summaries I use. I mean look at the following:


Make Room for Daddy:
Random AU elements plucked from the ether to amuse and entertain you all. Or maybe not, I just don't know anymore

Project Mile Two:
Ranma's lineage brings new challenges.

Change! Getter ?:
I thought it would be fun to use this (relatively original) crossover element.

Furyouhin:
Alien slaves discovered in Tokyo? Whatever next?

Sausages, It was a Tuesday:
An evil Gendo. An upset Ritsuko. A pilot used as a pawn in a game. Come for the drama, stay for the omake!

Ummm... actually, except the first and last of that list, I've not read those.

 

[cilrais]

I don't have a specific example at the moment, but when the summary is "I'm no good at summeries LOL, just reed it" I shudder.

 

[SirBino]

As a punishment for rude, antisocial behavior, Dumbledore assigns Professor Snape as the Faculty Advisor to the new Hogwarts Cheerleading Team. Poor old Sev will never be the same again!

Ok. No, just no. Hogwarts does not have a cheerleading team, Hogwarts has never had a cheerleading team, Hogwarts will never have a cheerleading team. And I haven't looked in the story to find out, but five will get you twenty, that Hermione is on the cheerleading team, despite that being amazingly out of character for her.

 

[SotF]

As a punishment for rude, antisocial behavior, Dumbledore assigns Professor Snape as the Faculty Advisor to the new Hogwarts Cheerleading Team. Poor old Sev will never be the same again!

Ok. No, just no. Hogwarts does not have a cheerleading team, Hogwarts has never had a cheerleading team, Hogwarts will never have a cheerleading team. And I haven't looked in the story to find out, but five will get you twenty, that Hermione is on the cheerleading team, despite that being amazingly out of character for her.

Written as a parody, that could be pretty funny.

 

[SirBino]

Yeah, but the story was catagorized as a romance.

 

[zeebee1]

How much do you want to bet that Snape will end up in a cheerleader uniform?

 

[ttestagr]

How much do you want to bet that Snape will end up in a cheerleader uniform?

For invoking that image, you have to die.

That is a thought you did not have to share with us Zeebee.

 

[ttestagr]

Doublepost! Just saw this lovely summary in the Buffy section of ff.net and had to share it:

Sora is a new student to Sunnydale High. Angel loves Paige Buffy's youngest sister. Paige is the slayer not buffy. Their mother is still alive. The principle is Schneider. Their history teacher is weird.