Harry Potter Alternate Guardians For Harry
- Thread starter SotF
- Start date
A odd htought... partially inspired by the idea of George and Fred going back to raise Harry..
What if a adult Luna went back in time to raise Harry... under the justification that she is preparing the perfect man for her younger self to go snorckak hunting in the clouds and the rain and beyond
edit:
I can see it now...
Herimone: Luna what are you doing?
Luna: well I was going throught the interdimesinal snorckak web and came across this site called the TFF.. which had some fun stories and then it linked to some place called Rorschah blot who had this fun story that I think is really releveant to myself...
Herimone: Releavent?
Luna: Oh yes... it had htis lonely and horny girl named Anko who decided to raise a train a young boy to be the perfect boyfriend and lover for her!
Herimone: LUNA! You CAN'T BE SERIOUSLY EXPECTING TO KIDNAP A PRETEEN!
Luna: of course not HErimone... thats much to old ot be properly trained to help get rid of Nargle infestations... You have to start when the boys are really young like before they reach 3 years of age.
Heriomone: YO CAN NOT BE SERIOUSLY THINKING OF GETTING A 3-YEAR OLD AND TRAINING HIM TO PLEASURE YOU???!!!
Luna: No.. thats ridicilous... the age differnce is mucht o high..
Herimone: oh good...
Luna: No it makes much more sense to use this experimental time turner to go back and raise a famous orphan who defeated You Know Who to be the perfect Boyfriend for my younger past self...
Herimone: WHAT??? LUNA YOU CAN'T....
Luna: oh don't worry Herimone I'll make sure HArry will have soem tiem for you.. Ta ta!
Not sure if Herimone shoudl be able to snag Luna as she goes back in time or not.... which would be funnier a pure Luna raised Harry, or a Luna and Herimone Raised HArry.. with Luna slowly corrupting Herimone to the idea of turning CHibi-harry into the perfect boytoy for there younger selves?
What if a adult Luna went back in time to raise Harry... under the justification that she is preparing the perfect man for her younger self to go snorckak hunting in the clouds and the rain and beyond
edit:
I can see it now...
Herimone: Luna what are you doing?
Luna: well I was going throught the interdimesinal snorckak web and came across this site called the TFF.. which had some fun stories and then it linked to some place called Rorschah blot who had this fun story that I think is really releveant to myself...
Herimone: Releavent?
Luna: Oh yes... it had htis lonely and horny girl named Anko who decided to raise a train a young boy to be the perfect boyfriend and lover for her!
Herimone: LUNA! You CAN'T BE SERIOUSLY EXPECTING TO KIDNAP A PRETEEN!
Luna: of course not HErimone... thats much to old ot be properly trained to help get rid of Nargle infestations... You have to start when the boys are really young like before they reach 3 years of age.
Heriomone: YO CAN NOT BE SERIOUSLY THINKING OF GETTING A 3-YEAR OLD AND TRAINING HIM TO PLEASURE YOU???!!!
Luna: No.. thats ridicilous... the age differnce is mucht o high..
Herimone: oh good...
Luna: No it makes much more sense to use this experimental time turner to go back and raise a famous orphan who defeated You Know Who to be the perfect Boyfriend for my younger past self...
Herimone: WHAT??? LUNA YOU CAN'T....
Luna: oh don't worry Herimone I'll make sure HArry will have soem tiem for you.. Ta ta!
Not sure if Herimone shoudl be able to snag Luna as she goes back in time or not.... which would be funnier a pure Luna raised Harry, or a Luna and Herimone Raised HArry.. with Luna slowly corrupting Herimone to the idea of turning CHibi-harry into the perfect boytoy for there younger selves?
OH man...
Dark Schneider-raised Harry.
Harry: Wormtail, you ugly sack of cowflop! You nearly hurt my girlfriends with that last attack!
[Harry literally grabs Wormtail's Avada Kedavra and hurls it back at Wormy, who's staring wide-eyed as his own magic kills him.]
Harry: Now, Lucius, as I was saying, there's no way you can beat me. After all, I'm the handsome popular main hero, and you're just the pathetic ugly toadling of Moldybutt.
[Lucius Malfoy, after seeing what happened to Wormtail's attempt to kill Harry, wisely decides to concede the fight and surrender to the authorities. Azkaban seems so much safer than facing Harry Potter-Schneider.]
----
Or a Lina Inverse-raised Harry...
[The Head House Elf of Hogwarts' kitchen, Towely, stared in awe at The-Boy-Who-Lived, and teleported back to the kitchen.]
Towely: Lo! Prophecy has come true! The-Girl-Who-Eats-Ridiculous-Amounts-Of-Food-And-Bankrupts-Every-All-You-Can-Eat-Buffets-Yet-Retains-The-Appearance-Of-A-Beanpole has sent unto us The-Boy-Who-Eats!
[The kitchen staff gasped, then grinned. They'd heard of TGWERAOFABEAYCEBYRTAOAB. Hard work was next to impossible to get in a school kitchen, after all, and Lina Inverse had made them deliriously happy. She'd made the former kitchen staff so happy that when she left, they'd asked to go with her, and she'd graciously allowed them to. Now, they too would have their challenge. Oh, what a glorious time to be a house elf in the kitchen!]
----
Or, a Sosuke Sagara-raised Harry. While not completely humorless like Sosuke, and he probably wouldn't use guns (they'd stand out too much), I figure Harry would still be quite deadly. :evil2:
[Voldemort was pissed. He and Wormtail had heard the sound of the portkey arriving, yet there was no Harry Potter, nor anyone else, when they'd come out to investigate. Barty Crouch Jr. had proven useless.]
*whoot*
[That noise was the last thing Voldemort heard before Wormtail fell over dead, a poison dart in his neck.]
*whoot*
[That noise was the last thing Voldemort heard before he died as well, a poison dart in his neck.]
Cedric Diggory: Harry, remind me never to get on your bad side again.
Harry: Very well.
Cedric: Uh, you weren't ever thinking of doing that against me, were you?
Harry: While the "Potter is a bleedin' maniac" buttons did make my mission more difficult, I do not hold grudges.
Cedric: ....you booby-trapped my room, didn't you?
Harry: [smiling faintly] You should use a bubblehead charm before you open your sock drawer.
----
Edit: How could I forget this one? Solid Snake-raised Harry Potter!
[Wormtail, instead of killing Cedric, merely stunned him, as he lacked the hatred necessary to kill.]
Voldemort: Do it.
Wormtail: Yes, master.
[Wormtail drops Voldemort into the pot. Wormtail turns to look at the statue, where Harry was trapped just moments ago, but now only a cardboard box with markings for a helioport is there.]
[Cursing, Wormtail starts looking around for Harry Potter, who, after cranking up the heat on the pot and flinging in a number of turds left by various animals, sneaks over to Cedric's stunned body and the portkey.]
[Eventually, Wormtail would realize that he'd left his master alone and comes back to find a hideous twisted creature already residing in the pot. Believing it drank the potion and ate Voldemort's body, Wormtail is about to kill it out of revenge, but looks at it for a moment, before snapping a photo, then killing it.]
[A weak later, the Quibbler showed the first photo of a real life crumpled horned snorkack...]
(The poo probably retained enough bone and flesh, and poo itself is largely dead blood cells...)
Dark Schneider-raised Harry.
Harry: Wormtail, you ugly sack of cowflop! You nearly hurt my girlfriends with that last attack!
[Harry literally grabs Wormtail's Avada Kedavra and hurls it back at Wormy, who's staring wide-eyed as his own magic kills him.]
Harry: Now, Lucius, as I was saying, there's no way you can beat me. After all, I'm the handsome popular main hero, and you're just the pathetic ugly toadling of Moldybutt.
[Lucius Malfoy, after seeing what happened to Wormtail's attempt to kill Harry, wisely decides to concede the fight and surrender to the authorities. Azkaban seems so much safer than facing Harry Potter-Schneider.]
----
Or a Lina Inverse-raised Harry...
[The Head House Elf of Hogwarts' kitchen, Towely, stared in awe at The-Boy-Who-Lived, and teleported back to the kitchen.]
Towely: Lo! Prophecy has come true! The-Girl-Who-Eats-Ridiculous-Amounts-Of-Food-And-Bankrupts-Every-All-You-Can-Eat-Buffets-Yet-Retains-The-Appearance-Of-A-Beanpole has sent unto us The-Boy-Who-Eats!
[The kitchen staff gasped, then grinned. They'd heard of TGWERAOFABEAYCEBYRTAOAB. Hard work was next to impossible to get in a school kitchen, after all, and Lina Inverse had made them deliriously happy. She'd made the former kitchen staff so happy that when she left, they'd asked to go with her, and she'd graciously allowed them to. Now, they too would have their challenge. Oh, what a glorious time to be a house elf in the kitchen!]
----
Or, a Sosuke Sagara-raised Harry. While not completely humorless like Sosuke, and he probably wouldn't use guns (they'd stand out too much), I figure Harry would still be quite deadly. :evil2:
[Voldemort was pissed. He and Wormtail had heard the sound of the portkey arriving, yet there was no Harry Potter, nor anyone else, when they'd come out to investigate. Barty Crouch Jr. had proven useless.]
*whoot*
[That noise was the last thing Voldemort heard before Wormtail fell over dead, a poison dart in his neck.]
*whoot*
[That noise was the last thing Voldemort heard before he died as well, a poison dart in his neck.]
Cedric Diggory: Harry, remind me never to get on your bad side again.
Harry: Very well.
Cedric: Uh, you weren't ever thinking of doing that against me, were you?
Harry: While the "Potter is a bleedin' maniac" buttons did make my mission more difficult, I do not hold grudges.
Cedric: ....you booby-trapped my room, didn't you?
Harry: [smiling faintly] You should use a bubblehead charm before you open your sock drawer.
----
Edit: How could I forget this one? Solid Snake-raised Harry Potter!
[Wormtail, instead of killing Cedric, merely stunned him, as he lacked the hatred necessary to kill.]
Voldemort: Do it.
Wormtail: Yes, master.
[Wormtail drops Voldemort into the pot. Wormtail turns to look at the statue, where Harry was trapped just moments ago, but now only a cardboard box with markings for a helioport is there.]
[Cursing, Wormtail starts looking around for Harry Potter, who, after cranking up the heat on the pot and flinging in a number of turds left by various animals, sneaks over to Cedric's stunned body and the portkey.]
[Eventually, Wormtail would realize that he'd left his master alone and comes back to find a hideous twisted creature already residing in the pot. Believing it drank the potion and ate Voldemort's body, Wormtail is about to kill it out of revenge, but looks at it for a moment, before snapping a photo, then killing it.]
[A weak later, the Quibbler showed the first photo of a real life crumpled horned snorkack...]
(The poo probably retained enough bone and flesh, and poo itself is largely dead blood cells...)
Dr. Doom? Harry would be the ULTIMATE Slytherin. And since Doom is knowledgable in both Magic and Technology(Even if he usually makes use of the later) it wouldn't be unbelievable that Hary would have robot doubles that worked at Hogwarts. Providing the perfect alibi when some of his more bothersome housemates "vanished".
And here is an idea I had several days ago that I haven't seen done.
When Dumbledore made those protective wards he was counting on fending off evil wizards, not..say..vampires. Particularly vampire seers that know the future better then the present. Harry taken in by Spike and Drucilla years before the mob that leads them to Sunnydale(He'd probably be in Hogwarts by the time that happened.)
This Harry would be interesting, if screwed up as he could be and there are a number of ways it could go, Spike calling in his debt to have Dracula teach him Gypsy tricks, Harry learning to read from demon books taken from dead watchers, natural occlumency from a thrall using motherfigure, instant dislike of Malfoy for stealing Spike's look and his personality(Exactly the kind of person Spike made his name killing), and all sorts of other ideas.
I keep seeing this version of him focusing on Luna to make a kind of wizardworld version of his "parents". Then of course comes the parent-teacher meeting were Harry sits in a corner enjoying his blood pop while Snape gets jammed with hot pokers.
And here is an idea I had several days ago that I haven't seen done.
When Dumbledore made those protective wards he was counting on fending off evil wizards, not..say..vampires. Particularly vampire seers that know the future better then the present. Harry taken in by Spike and Drucilla years before the mob that leads them to Sunnydale(He'd probably be in Hogwarts by the time that happened.)
This Harry would be interesting, if screwed up as he could be and there are a number of ways it could go, Spike calling in his debt to have Dracula teach him Gypsy tricks, Harry learning to read from demon books taken from dead watchers, natural occlumency from a thrall using motherfigure, instant dislike of Malfoy for stealing Spike's look and his personality(Exactly the kind of person Spike made his name killing), and all sorts of other ideas.
I keep seeing this version of him focusing on Luna to make a kind of wizardworld version of his "parents". Then of course comes the parent-teacher meeting were Harry sits in a corner enjoying his blood pop while Snape gets jammed with hot pokers.
If not a Harry raised by Sousuke Sagara, the next best thing. Harry has been trained since childhood to a molecular edge by Albus Dumbledore and Sirus Black. After defeating Voldemort, his reward is... attending Hogwarts?
Learning to Breathe by onoM
Harry Potter is 16 years old. He already defeated Voldemort, with the help of his Godfather Sirius Black. Now he is in for the biggest challenge of his life: attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,814 - Reviews: 1813 - Updated: 10-19-07 - Published: 8-31-05
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2559745/1/
Well worth the read.
Learning to Breathe by onoM
Harry Potter is 16 years old. He already defeated Voldemort, with the help of his Godfather Sirius Black. Now he is in for the biggest challenge of his life: attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,814 - Reviews: 1813 - Updated: 10-19-07 - Published: 8-31-05
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2559745/1/
Well worth the read.
Harry raised by HK-47! ...though I suppose HK-47 would have to believe he was his master if Harry was going to survive it. Either that, or his accidental magic would have quite a workout...or the old 'cannot be killed except by Voldemort' thing, which never made sense to me, really, but eh.
Whether found in a scrapyard, landing on earth, or being summoned by a burst of accidental magic...cue the Dursley slaughter, and Harry raised in the ways of killing people messily. School of magic? Hmm, magic sounds like a new and intriguing way to kill people...
Definitely a crack-fic, though. :sisi:
Whether found in a scrapyard, landing on earth, or being summoned by a burst of accidental magic...cue the Dursley slaughter, and Harry raised in the ways of killing people messily. School of magic? Hmm, magic sounds like a new and intriguing way to kill people...
Definitely a crack-fic, though. :sisi:
I can only imagine the interactions between the different characters, especially between Harry and Snape and Harry and Dumbledore...
Example:
Takes place after Harry's first potions class.
Harry: "Placating remark: Professor, I was merely informing the Snape Meatbag that if he did not cease his attack against my person, I would be forced to obliterate him."
Dumbledore: "You mean Obliviate?"
Harry: "Clarification: Negative, I would have eliminated him with extreme prejudice. You would not have been able to find all the peices of what was left of him, even with magic."
Example:
Takes place after Harry's first potions class.
Harry: "Placating remark: Professor, I was merely informing the Snape Meatbag that if he did not cease his attack against my person, I would be forced to obliterate him."
Dumbledore: "You mean Obliviate?"
Harry: "Clarification: Negative, I would have eliminated him with extreme prejudice. You would not have been able to find all the peices of what was left of him, even with magic."
I can just see some other events with this... Scenes of Poor Basilisk, Dragon,. Dementors etc running for their lives. The cannon fodder line from the OVA except instead of mindless mutants with token death eaters being blown away. Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets being treated like t5he scene with Hydara. This is one Idea that is so very interesting.
As for the Inverse one isn't there one on aadventures?
As for the Inverse one isn't there one on aadventures?
t: (slightly)http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3488198/8/What_If
That is Rorasch's Blot's Naruto drabble fic titled "What if". The requested chapter in question is Chapter 8 "Anko's Boyfriend".
Enjoy!
Here's an idea, and snippet, that came to me a while ago. It isn't finished yet, I should note:
Godric's Hollow, October 31st, 1981
The Dark Lord Voldemort sneered in triumph as Lily Potter's lifeless corpse fell to the ground in the nursery. The thrice-damned Potters would defy him no more. He strode over to the cot that held the child. He looked at the small child that slept in there.
How strange, he thought to himself, that something so powerless as a toddler could have anything that could defeat him, the most powerful wizard of the 20th Century, more powerful than even the infamous Grindelwald. He drew his arm back, ready to cast the Killing Curse and end this threat to his reign. But then he paused, and lowered his arm. "No." he grinned to himself. "I have a better idea. Wormtail!" he shouted.
A few moments later a small sneaky looking little man appeared at the doorway. "You summoned me, my Lord?" Peter Pettigrew asked.
"Summon my Inner Circle, and the items needed for the Banishment Ritual." The Dark Lord declared. "The child is a threat to me, but I shall take steps to... neutralise it."
"At once, my Lord." Pettigrew said, and vanished. Voldemort looked again at the child and smiled.
"Who knows? Perhaps someone shall do my work for me, and then only those damned Longbottoms will be left...."
===================================================
If anyone had been able to peer into the windows of the Potter residence that night, what would they have seen? Six of the most feared Dark Wizards, and their master, marking the carpet of the nursery room with chalk, and placing a tiny child in the centre of a Magic Circle. Around the circle, the six Dark Wizards, amongst them Lucius Malfoy and the younger Bartemius Crouch. The Death Eaters, as the followers of Voldemort were known and feared by, began to chant the ritual. The room began to fill with magic, and Voldemort smirked to himself as the power grew and grew. Soon an image appeared in a sphere over the circle, showing a beach at night with the tide coming in. Voldermort drew his wand once more, and chanted the command words of the Ritual.
A jet of reddish-grey light burst from the tip of his wand, and hit the bassinet that held the young Harry Potter. There was a sound like silk being torn, and the bassinet rose up into the sphere and vanished.
Suddenly, Voldemort grabbed his wrist, as smoke began to rise from his trembling wand. His arm suddenly burst into golden flames, not unlike those of a phoenix, and raced over his body as he screamed in pain. The Death Eaters scattered as an enormous burst of magical energy exploded out from the Dark Lord, ripping the soul from his body and burning the corpse to ashes....
=======================================
Unaware of all this, the innocent child that was Harry Potter slept on, as his bassinet sped through the mists of time, past a police box, and a sports car, to arrive on that mysterious beach....
========================================
Two men slowly walked along the beach front that night. One was barely an adult, still only 19 years old, while the other man was much older. Only two things connected the two men.
The older man suddenly raised his arm as he tilted his head. "Wait a moment. Frank, do you hear that?"
The young man, apparently named Frank listened as well. "Yes I can, Uncle Arthur..."
They approached the sound cautiously, and the older man knelt down. "Oh dear..." Sergeant Arthur Wilson said, as he picked up the child from the bassinet.
"Should I go get Mister Mainwaring, Uncle Arthur?" Frank Pike asked.
"I think you'd better Frank..." Wilson nodded. "I'll take him back to the guardhouse." he added, as Pike jogged off into the night. Picking up the child and the bassinet, Wilson carried them both away from the waters' edge.
========================================
Well, there you have it. Harry Potter, as raised by Arthur Wilson from Dad's Army...
Godric's Hollow, October 31st, 1981
The Dark Lord Voldemort sneered in triumph as Lily Potter's lifeless corpse fell to the ground in the nursery. The thrice-damned Potters would defy him no more. He strode over to the cot that held the child. He looked at the small child that slept in there.
How strange, he thought to himself, that something so powerless as a toddler could have anything that could defeat him, the most powerful wizard of the 20th Century, more powerful than even the infamous Grindelwald. He drew his arm back, ready to cast the Killing Curse and end this threat to his reign. But then he paused, and lowered his arm. "No." he grinned to himself. "I have a better idea. Wormtail!" he shouted.
A few moments later a small sneaky looking little man appeared at the doorway. "You summoned me, my Lord?" Peter Pettigrew asked.
"Summon my Inner Circle, and the items needed for the Banishment Ritual." The Dark Lord declared. "The child is a threat to me, but I shall take steps to... neutralise it."
"At once, my Lord." Pettigrew said, and vanished. Voldemort looked again at the child and smiled.
"Who knows? Perhaps someone shall do my work for me, and then only those damned Longbottoms will be left...."
===================================================
If anyone had been able to peer into the windows of the Potter residence that night, what would they have seen? Six of the most feared Dark Wizards, and their master, marking the carpet of the nursery room with chalk, and placing a tiny child in the centre of a Magic Circle. Around the circle, the six Dark Wizards, amongst them Lucius Malfoy and the younger Bartemius Crouch. The Death Eaters, as the followers of Voldemort were known and feared by, began to chant the ritual. The room began to fill with magic, and Voldemort smirked to himself as the power grew and grew. Soon an image appeared in a sphere over the circle, showing a beach at night with the tide coming in. Voldermort drew his wand once more, and chanted the command words of the Ritual.
A jet of reddish-grey light burst from the tip of his wand, and hit the bassinet that held the young Harry Potter. There was a sound like silk being torn, and the bassinet rose up into the sphere and vanished.
Suddenly, Voldemort grabbed his wrist, as smoke began to rise from his trembling wand. His arm suddenly burst into golden flames, not unlike those of a phoenix, and raced over his body as he screamed in pain. The Death Eaters scattered as an enormous burst of magical energy exploded out from the Dark Lord, ripping the soul from his body and burning the corpse to ashes....
=======================================
Unaware of all this, the innocent child that was Harry Potter slept on, as his bassinet sped through the mists of time, past a police box, and a sports car, to arrive on that mysterious beach....
========================================
Two men slowly walked along the beach front that night. One was barely an adult, still only 19 years old, while the other man was much older. Only two things connected the two men.
The older man suddenly raised his arm as he tilted his head. "Wait a moment. Frank, do you hear that?"
The young man, apparently named Frank listened as well. "Yes I can, Uncle Arthur..."
They approached the sound cautiously, and the older man knelt down. "Oh dear..." Sergeant Arthur Wilson said, as he picked up the child from the bassinet.
"Should I go get Mister Mainwaring, Uncle Arthur?" Frank Pike asked.
"I think you'd better Frank..." Wilson nodded. "I'll take him back to the guardhouse." he added, as Pike jogged off into the night. Picking up the child and the bassinet, Wilson carried them both away from the waters' edge.
========================================
Well, there you have it. Harry Potter, as raised by Arthur Wilson from Dad's Army...