Nasuverse And Then It Rained
- Thread starter Ray
- Start date
Glad you people liked it. 
I'm in a bit of a hurry right now, so I won't have time to respond to each of the comments individually. However, for those of you asking for Rin to hit Ayako with a clue-by-four, here's a snippet!:
æOh, GodàÆ
In an instant, Shirou was out of his own chair, running towards the living room with Rin trailing slightly behind him.
Sure enough, when they got there, Ayako was there, looking around bewilderedly, disoriented until her eyes finally landed on Shirou and Rin.
ôE-Emiya! And...ö
She pointed at Rin, shaking her head in incomprehension.
ôYouà youÆre one of them too?ö she asked, ôI canÆt believe this!ö
ôUnless youÆre talking about something else,ö Rin said with a bemused expression, ôthen yes.ö
ôI canÆt believe this,ö Ayako repeated, ôand you, Emiyaà whatà what could you possibly want to bring me back here?ö
ôAyako, I-ô
ôI think,ö Rin interrupted, eyebrows raised, ôthat itÆd be best if you let me do the talking this time around, Emiya.ö
Calmly, she walked forwards, causing a scared Ayako to step backwards so far that she actually collided with the couch, plopping herself back down on it. Shirou grimaced, but forced himself to stay put.
ôAyako,ö Rin said, ôI believe we need to talk over some things you may have missed. If what Emiya told me is true, and I know it is, then the shock from yesterday night did a number on you. But youÆre going to have to deal with it, and quickly, too.ö
ôTalk?ö Ayako asked, ôDeal with it? Rinà if youÆre likeà like Emiya, then thereÆs nothing to talk about!ö
She made to get up from the couch, but Rin was infinitely faster, pinning her down with a single arm. Too scared to struggle, Ayako simply sat there, glaring. Rin glared right back. In the background, Shirou bit his lower lip, struggling to keep from joining the fray.
ôI really donÆt think, Mitsuzuri-san, that you realize how lucky you were. By all means, and according to the rules of the MageÆs Association, Shirou should have gutted you on the spot for having seen him use his powers. Did you ever wonder why he didnÆt do it?ö
Ayako gulped, shaking her head.
ôI-ô
ôOf course you didnÆt,ö Rin continued, ôyou were scared, and thatÆs understandable, but it doesnÆt give you the right to assume that Emiya is evil, or a cold-blooded killer. Think about it. He didnÆt kill you because he cared. He actually cared about your fear.ö
Ayako shook her head.
ôIà I donÆt know what to thinkàö she muttered, ôbutà but no! You werenÆt there! You didnÆt see him, heÆs a murd-ô
CRACK!
AyakoÆs head rolled back as RinÆs left hand impacted against her cheek, sending her reeling. In moments, Rin had completely pinned her down with both arms, her whole body straddling AyakoÆs lap.
ôDonÆt finish,ö Rin said, ôdonÆt finish that word, or IÆll lose all the respect IÆve ever had for you. YouÆre not acting like yourself, Ayako. YouÆre scared, and fear is controlling you. But itÆs gotten out of hand. Ayakoàö
Rin leaned forwards until her face was less than a few inches apart from AyakoÆs.
ôGet. A. Grip.ö
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Comments? Suggestions?
...cookies?
I'm in a bit of a hurry right now, so I won't have time to respond to each of the comments individually. However, for those of you asking for Rin to hit Ayako with a clue-by-four, here's a snippet!:
æOh, GodàÆ
In an instant, Shirou was out of his own chair, running towards the living room with Rin trailing slightly behind him.
Sure enough, when they got there, Ayako was there, looking around bewilderedly, disoriented until her eyes finally landed on Shirou and Rin.
ôE-Emiya! And...ö
She pointed at Rin, shaking her head in incomprehension.
ôYouà youÆre one of them too?ö she asked, ôI canÆt believe this!ö
ôUnless youÆre talking about something else,ö Rin said with a bemused expression, ôthen yes.ö
ôI canÆt believe this,ö Ayako repeated, ôand you, Emiyaà whatà what could you possibly want to bring me back here?ö
ôAyako, I-ô
ôI think,ö Rin interrupted, eyebrows raised, ôthat itÆd be best if you let me do the talking this time around, Emiya.ö
Calmly, she walked forwards, causing a scared Ayako to step backwards so far that she actually collided with the couch, plopping herself back down on it. Shirou grimaced, but forced himself to stay put.
ôAyako,ö Rin said, ôI believe we need to talk over some things you may have missed. If what Emiya told me is true, and I know it is, then the shock from yesterday night did a number on you. But youÆre going to have to deal with it, and quickly, too.ö
ôTalk?ö Ayako asked, ôDeal with it? Rinà if youÆre likeà like Emiya, then thereÆs nothing to talk about!ö
She made to get up from the couch, but Rin was infinitely faster, pinning her down with a single arm. Too scared to struggle, Ayako simply sat there, glaring. Rin glared right back. In the background, Shirou bit his lower lip, struggling to keep from joining the fray.
ôI really donÆt think, Mitsuzuri-san, that you realize how lucky you were. By all means, and according to the rules of the MageÆs Association, Shirou should have gutted you on the spot for having seen him use his powers. Did you ever wonder why he didnÆt do it?ö
Ayako gulped, shaking her head.
ôI-ô
ôOf course you didnÆt,ö Rin continued, ôyou were scared, and thatÆs understandable, but it doesnÆt give you the right to assume that Emiya is evil, or a cold-blooded killer. Think about it. He didnÆt kill you because he cared. He actually cared about your fear.ö
Ayako shook her head.
ôIà I donÆt know what to thinkàö she muttered, ôbutà but no! You werenÆt there! You didnÆt see him, heÆs a murd-ô
CRACK!
AyakoÆs head rolled back as RinÆs left hand impacted against her cheek, sending her reeling. In moments, Rin had completely pinned her down with both arms, her whole body straddling AyakoÆs lap.
ôDonÆt finish,ö Rin said, ôdonÆt finish that word, or IÆll lose all the respect IÆve ever had for you. YouÆre not acting like yourself, Ayako. YouÆre scared, and fear is controlling you. But itÆs gotten out of hand. Ayakoàö
Rin leaned forwards until her face was less than a few inches apart from AyakoÆs.
ôGet. A. Grip.ö
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Comments? Suggestions?
...cookies?
...Aaaaand here comes the clue-by-four.
Glorious. ^_^
Strange, though. Ayako didn't assume that Rin was just as bad as Shirou. Though I suppose I should be thankful, as that would have made things even more painful.
I have to second the thought that Ayako put two and two together mighty fast. Though, to be fair, she is one of the sharper tools in the shed, from what I can recall.
Now, though, what I'm really looking forward to is when Rin realizes that Shirou's hair is turning... white.
Methinks Shirou won't just have to worry about Sakura after that. :snigger:
Glorious. ^_^
Strange, though. Ayako didn't assume that Rin was just as bad as Shirou. Though I suppose I should be thankful, as that would have made things even more painful.
I have to second the thought that Ayako put two and two together mighty fast. Though, to be fair, she is one of the sharper tools in the shed, from what I can recall.
Now, though, what I'm really looking forward to is when Rin realizes that Shirou's hair is turning... white.
Methinks Shirou won't just have to worry about Sakura after that. :snigger:
Eh, maybe I wasn't clear enough. What actually happened is that, since Shirou never mentioned to her that Rin was a magus, Ayako, being one of her best friends, ran to her and spilled the beans at the first chance she got, mostly out of fear of having to deal with the sudden shitfest alone.
When Rin realized that Ayako knew about sorcery, she quickly recognized the gravity of the situation (as well as the certain source of the problem), so she immediately knocked Ayako out (makes it easier to deal with her) and went to confront Shirou at his place. Now, since I find it hard to imagine Rin hitting Ayako over the head with a lead pipe to render her unconscious, I would think she'd use sorcery, which would be an instant giveaway to her true nature.
I dunno. While most of what she said was unwarranted, she was quite scared about the sudden change of course in her life from "placid" to "holy shit, magic is real and my supposedly normal friend is in fact involved in a world of sorcerers and bounty hunters!". That would make most people act rather irrationally, don't you think?
Not too many. As I want this to remain a oneshot, we'll be getting to more action soon, by which point Ayako's problem will have to resolve itself (with or without Rin's "gentle" help), since I don't have any plans for her to get brutally slaughtered by Shirou's enemies.
When Rin realized that Ayako knew about sorcery, she quickly recognized the gravity of the situation (as well as the certain source of the problem), so she immediately knocked Ayako out (makes it easier to deal with her) and went to confront Shirou at his place. Now, since I find it hard to imagine Rin hitting Ayako over the head with a lead pipe to render her unconscious, I would think she'd use sorcery, which would be an instant giveaway to her true nature.
I dunno. While most of what she said was unwarranted, she was quite scared about the sudden change of course in her life from "placid" to "holy shit, magic is real and my supposedly normal friend is in fact involved in a world of sorcerers and bounty hunters!". That would make most people act rather irrationally, don't you think?
Not too many. As I want this to remain a oneshot, we'll be getting to more action soon, by which point Ayako's problem will have to resolve itself (with or without Rin's "gentle" help), since I don't have any plans for her to get brutally slaughtered by Shirou's enemies.
O-O
I wonder how I could have missed this thread. Srsly. Gah. Double-gah.
All in all, seeing Shiro trying to come to terms with the fact that stabbity death delivered by his hands is stabbity death is only trumped by Rin and her.... hands-on therapy methods. How else could one call it?
By the way, will there be a ... in-depth look of some kind into Shirou's mission of Woe and Doom?
I wonder how I could have missed this thread. Srsly. Gah. Double-gah.
All in all, seeing Shiro trying to come to terms with the fact that stabbity death delivered by his hands is stabbity death is only trumped by Rin and her.... hands-on therapy methods. How else could one call it?
By the way, will there be a ... in-depth look of some kind into Shirou's mission of Woe and Doom?
So... here goes another snippet. Some of this was written over a month ago, and some of this is barely a few weeks to just a week old, having been spawned out of the free time created by my spring break and a week's lack of Internet connection. Of course, I blame any possible text formatting problems on the forum software. >_>
Now, on to the fic:
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"Get. A. Grip."
A sort of stunned silence fell over the living room. Shirou gulped, rather afraid that breaking it would cause Rin to switch targets. He grimaced, taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.
ôAhemà Rin?ö
The girl turned her head to look at him, hands still forcefully pinning a shocked Ayako to the couch.
ôYes, Emiya?ö
æNot that I mind, butàÆ
ôDonÆt you think itÆd be better if you got off Ayako now?ö
Rin blinked, then gasped as she saw exactly how she was holding the other girl.
SheÆd been forced to bring her body up against Ayako while pinning her down, pressing her chest against her own rather obscenely. To top it off, sheÆd full-out straddled the girl in order to keep her from freeing herself, which meant that the warm spot her knee was currently pressing slightly against must beà
Silence reigned over the room once more, but this time it was quickly cut short as Ayako seemed to return from her stupor, staring at Rin with a sort of resigned peacefulness.
ôRin, Ià IÆm sorry,ö she muttered, ôIÆm sorry, and I know youÆre angry, and if I were Emiya-kun IÆd be angry as well, butà if youÆre going to do something to me, Rin, thenà not there. Please not there.ö
ôEek!ö
ôTohsaka!ö
THUD.
ôEmiya-kun!ö
Shirou gave a muffled sigh. HeÆd tried to catch Rin the moment sheÆd leapt backwards off the couch, but had somehow managed to slip. However, even if Rin had managed to fall on top of him, and it looked like she had, there was still no reason for his surroundings to be so dark, and certainly no reason for them to be so uncharacteristically warm, unlessà
æThisà thisàÆ
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Not long after, everyone sat around the kitchen table, blushing, doing their best not to look at each other. Shirou stared at the floor, Rin stared at the ceiling, and Ayako stared at the surface of the table, fidgeting.
æThisàÆ Shirou thought, æis really rather awkward.Æ
A strange quiet loomed over them, waiting only to be broken by someone. Surprisingly, it was Ayako who spoke.
ôEmiya-kun?ö
Shirou turned to look at her. Ayako was gripping the edges of the table with her slender hands, averting his gaze.
ôAyako?ö Shirou asked tentatively, her previous fear still fresh in his mind.
The girl looked up.
ôIÆm sorryà for calling you a murderer,ö she said, ôI donÆt know what came over me.ö
Shirou blinked, rather dumbfounded. Disgusted with himself, he found that heÆd been expecting an outburst.
ôAyakoà youÆve nothing to be-ô
ôIÆm also sorry,ö the girl went on, cutting him off, ôfor not wanting to listen to you. IÆm certain you couldnÆt have done more back thereà given the circumstances.ö
ôAyako, I-ô
ôWhat IÆm not sorry for, though, is what I said earlier.ö She looked straight into his eyes. ôNothing gives us the right to judge when someone is beyond redemption.ö
æNo one should have to be a sacrifice.Æ
æI told that to a very special person, not so long agoà and I still believe in it. Even now that sheÆs gone.Æ
æGone?Æ
æYeahà sheà she had to leave. But I still believe in what I told her, Yumi, I still believe in it. And I like to thinkà I like to think that I convinced her to believe in it as well.Æ
æYeahà itÆs a beautiful ideal. If only the world were that fairàÆ
Shirou shook his head, fists clenching under the table. AyakoÆs words stung. He preached those ideals like a priest and then cast them aside the moment someone sufficiently aroused his anger. But thenà images of the same girl heÆd talked to being carried away, of Maiya Hisau coughing blood and ordering him in a sharp voice to get moving without care for what happened to her, of RaphaelÆs glinting green eyes and horrible smile, all that replaced his previous memory, and he found it difficult to control his words as his blood began to boil.
Shaking his head and focusing himself, Shirou fixed his gaze on Ayako again, ready to respond.
ôYou didnÆt know him, Ayako,ö he said, ôand I hope you never get to know anyone like him. I canÆt take back what I said, but I can promise you IÆm not as quick at judging people as I may have appeared yesterday night.ö
Ayako nodded.
ôYeahàö she muttered, ôcouldnÆt really expect an agreement on that. But that asideà would you forgive me, Emiya-kun? Could weà be friends again?ö
It was as if a massive weight had been taken off ShirouÆs chest after years of pressing down on him, finally allowing him to breathe. He nodded, grinning from ear to ear. He knew, deep down, that nothing short of a miracle or an otherwise astounding event could do away with the months or even years that would be needed for Ayako to fully have faith in him again, much less place more trust in him than she had before the incident. But at least now, however, things could be mended. At least now he could make an effort to bridge the gap.
ôYesàö Shirou answered her, still grinning, unconsciously placing his hand on hers, ôyes, of courseàö
Ayako nodded, making no effort to remove his hand and giving Shirou a smile back. It was tired, as was natural after all that had happened, but it was also genuine, and thatÆs what mattered.
ôAhem.ö
The happy solemnity of the moment was broken by the sharp interruption, and both Shirou and Ayako quickly withdrew their hands, almost jumping out of their seats as they turned to look at Rin, for whom the false severity of her gaze was doing nothing to hide her blush.
ôT-Tohsaka?ö
For a few seconds, Rin seemed to simply ignore her name being called, continuing to stare impassively at Shirou and Ayako. Soon, though, she seemed to snap back into reality, shaking her head as her cheeks reddened further.
ôAhem, yes, Iàö she muttered before finally focusing, glaring as she finally seemed to muster some control over herself, ôwhat I wanted to say is that your reconciliationÆs all well and good, but we still have work to do!ö
She stood up abruptly from her chair, fixing Shirou a sharp stare.
ôFrom what you told me a while ago thereÆs still a chance that your enemies are still out there, so weÆll need to get moving!ö
Shirou blinked dumbfoundedly, before catching on and growing serious.
ôYouÆre right, Tohsaka,ö he asserted with a sharp nod, ôwe should-ô
ôGood!ö Rin interrupted, ôOf course IÆm right! Now, since I made the mistake of bringing Ayako here without taking note of the danger, I propose that we bring her back to my place and leave her there. The wards are far safer!ö
ôAlright, Tohsaka, but-ô
ôPerfect! Now, after that, Shirou, you and I,ö she continued, ignoring his words, ôare going to patrol the area around AyakoÆs house to make sure there arenÆt any threats nearby. Then, after that, weÆre walking to the Memorial Gardens* to think of a plan. I do need you to tell me some things, Emiya. Now, is that alright with everyone? Good! Glad you agree!ö
ôUhà Rin?ö Ayako cut in, rather timidly, ôIs something wrong?ö
Rin turned to look at her, fixing her a bright smile. It looked like poisoned honey.
ôWrong? NothingÆs wrong! What couldÆve ever given you that idea?ö
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Hours later, Shirou was walking through the Fuyuki Memorial Gardens, black boots cracking the dried leaves underneath them as he moved, wistfully looking at the burnt trees. Though over the years he had gotten used to the sight of the place, standing on the site of the catastrophe that had marked his childhood always left him broody, even more so after the Grail War.
æSaber and I went and sat here just half a year ago,Æ he thought. æBut it feels like an eternity.Æ
He shook his head, smiling wanly at the memory. After a few more seconds of stillness, he turned around to look at Rin, who was standing before a tree, simply looking at it. Though the black-haired girl had been walking with him ever since they had left Ayako at her manor, sheÆd said nary a word for several hours already, the look on her face making it seem as if she was wrapped up in some sort of internal turmoil. To top it off, whenever Shirou tried to talk to her all heÆd get would be noncommittal grunts.
Sighing, Shirou decided to try and break her out of her shell for the umpteenth time. After all, it was Rin whoÆd said they should come here and talk.
æThough I should probably have disagreed when I had the chance,Æ Shirou thought, æwhen I think about it, it doesnÆt seem like a good idea. WeÆre too far out in the openàÆ
Frowning, Shirou walked towards Rin, placing a hand on her shoulder.
ôTohsaka-ô
ôIÆm an idiot, Emiya-kun.ö
Shirou blinked. HeÆd not been expecting that.
ôWhat in the world do you mean?ö
Rin turned around to look at him.
ôIÆm an idiot,ö she repeated. ôJust look at me, worrying about completely idiotic things when weÆre in this predicament.ö
ôWhat things?ö
RinÆs eyes widened and she stepped back in surprise, as if sheÆd only just realized what sheÆd said.
ôNothing, itÆs nothing at all!ö
ôTohsaka, what-ô
ôNothing, Shirou, nothingàö she answered, then seemed to deflate, weakly kicking the ground and causing some leaves to fly upwards, ôjust me being a dumbass-ô
ôYouÆre not.ö
Shirou stepped closer, his gaze steely.
ôYouÆre not. WhatÆs wrong with you?ö
For a moment after asking the question it seemed to Shirou as if a look of longing had crossed RinÆs face, but in a second heÆd dismissed it as a trick of the light as the girl simply shook her head, smiling.
ôJust forget it, Emiya-kun,ö she told him, ôand anyways, what I wanted to talk about was you.ö
ôMe? Tohsaka, youÆre just-ô
ôIÆm being serious, Emiya,ö Rin cut him off, ôthat previous idiocy aside, weÆre not here for anything other than that. Or did you think IÆd have us formulating battle plans out in the open?ö
Shirou frowned.
ôBut what about me could you possibly want to talk about at this time?ö
ôI want to know more,ö Rin answered. ôMore about what happened to you.ö
ôI already told you-ô
ôNo, Emiya,ö she interrupted, ôyou just gave me a summary. That was nothing. I donÆt know if you noticed, or you thought you could hide it, but thereÆs something different about you. Something unsettling. I was sure something had gone wrong the moment I looked at you, and you confirmed it later. Now I want the full story.ö
Shirou frowned, wary.
ôWhy here, though?ö he asked, ôI donÆt understand.ö
ôNeither do I,ö Rin said, ôbut this place always seems to affect you. YouÆre less likely to sugarcoat the story here.ö
ôWhat makes you think that?ö
Rin simply looked at him pointedly.
ôMaybe one day, Emiyaàö she muttered, ôàmaybe one day IÆll get you to tell me what happened to you the night Fuyuki City went ablaze. But IÆve a lifetime for that. This, however, canÆt wait. I need you to tell me what happened, who these people are and how they operate. Tell me everything, Shirouàö
æSo who are you, really, Shirou?Æ
æIà wellàÆ
æJust like your father, a fool of the highest caliber-æ
æàmy father was a hero!Æ
æReally, now? And are you one too?Æ
Shirou sighed, fists clenching and unclenching. For a moment, he looked about to say no, but then lifted his head and looked Rin in the eye, gaze unwavering.
ôTheyÆre murderers,ö he told her, ômurderers and thieves, and yet their entire structure somehow still stands, held up by a family and the most skillful, most powerful magical contract killers in the world.ö
ôGoà go on,ö Rin told him, slightly taken aback by his vehemence.
ôThe grimoire that my father hid, Tohsakaàö Shirou muttered, ôàit wasnÆt worth what happened back there. It wasnÆt worth what those people did. Like I said before, when we first marched off everything was going smoothly. But then, when we met those civilians, treasure hunters, they called themselves. That was when we first saw trouble in the horizon. TheyÆd been hired by a rich collector whoÆd heard rumors about the book, and had sent them there to find it. They were led by a good manà he didnÆt deserve to dieà andà that man had a daughter. Her name was Yumi.ö
Rin arched an elegant eyebrow, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.
ôWhat happened next?ö
Shirou sighed, looking downcast.
ôHeh. ItÆs almost as if it was all done on purpose, like some big machination of fateà as if taking Saber wasnÆt enoughàö he shook his head, as if trying to shake away the thoughts. ôButà IÆm getting off trackà itÆs just that she was a wonderful person, Rin. YouÆd have loved to meet her. Kind, caring, funny. We became friends almost instantly.ö
ôFunny, then, how barely a week after I first met her we found our enemy.ö
ôWhat happened, Emiya?ö Rin asked, a concerned frown marking her features.
ôI was an idiot,ö Shirou answered frankly, ôI strayed deep into a nearby forest, and ended up an easy picking for one of them. Raffaelo Sanzio. The man I killed to save Ayako.ö
ôWhat did you do then?ö
ôI fought him. Fought him and lost, because his way of fighting was unlike anything IÆd seen before. The closest thing that could come to describe it would be Kuzuki-sanÆs fighting style, back during the Grail War, but even that is far too different. But when he knocked me down, I was saved by my fatherÆs old friend, Maiya Hisau. Raphael left, but threatened with retaliation. And there was.ö
ôYouà you just wouldnÆt be able to picture the whole thing without having seen it up close. These peopleà theyÆll resort to anything. Over the course of the month people just started dying, and soon enough it had all become some sort of twisted hidden game. Us against them, with the clueless treasure hunters caught in the middle. Then, as the month drew to a close, I talked to Yumi one last time. Ià I lied to her, Tohsaka. I couldnÆt tell her my secret, so I just claimed to have no idea of who was behind the murders, even after some of the other treasure hunters had already been killed.ö
Shirou paused there, taking a deep breath as if steeling himself.
ôTo top it offà I made a promise to her. She was such a good person; I couldnÆt stand thinking she might be killed too. So I told her IÆd keep her safe.ö ShirouÆs features twisted into an extremely disgusted look, fists clenching in impotent rage. ôI told her that, and the night after that the bastards decided to stop playing aroundà theyàö
He made another pause, head bowed. For a moment, he felt pathetic, both at his own failure and at his inability to keep some decorum even in front of Rin, whom he knew had no need for his self-pity. Pushing the emotion aside, he continued.
ôMy father was smart, Rinà smarter than us, which is why we didnÆt find the grimoire. But we were dealing with an enemy that had fought him before. And because their leader knew him, how he acted, how he operated, they managed to find the book before us. That wouldÆve been the end of it, but they decided to toy with us. Strike our team down one by one for daring to defy them, and then just sweep the few of us that remained aside. And they did. The night after I made my promise to Yumi was the night of the final blow. They attacked the camp, and I lost Yumi in the chaos.
ôAfter that, it was just a slaughter as I tried to get to her. I killed the fighters. I killed the leader. I nearly cast aside the grimoire. And in the end, I still failed. Yumi still died. And I said before that no one should have to be a sacrifice. And I swore I wouldnÆt break my promise. Guess IÆm just a bloody hypocrite, no?ö
A dreary silence pervaded the air as Shirou finished telling his story, broken only by the breeze ruffling through the leaves. Rin simply stood there, watching him.
For several long minutes they remained like that. Then, Rin spoke.
ôYou know, Emiya,ö she muttered slowly, ôall through the Grail War I privately wondered if there was anything I could have done differently that wouldÆve kept you out of this world, because I could soon tell, as I watched you grow, that if you made it through the War youÆd never go back to the way things were. And I was rightàö
ôWhat do you mean, Tohsaka?ö
ôI didnÆt want you to suffer,ö the girl answered, ôYouÆre too much of a good person, Emiya, and being an active magus is enough of a burden without the added pain I knew you would willingly put yourself through. Butà in the blink of an eye youÆve run around me. Here, at least, I could advise you, knock you upside the head if your ideals got the better of your reasoning and you started blaming yourself for everything. But out there? With you going through those things? How am I supposed to help you?ö
Shirou frowned, shaking his head.
ôI didnÆt know you thought that wayàö he muttered, ôand I canÆt let you keep thinking that way, so close to harmÆs way. Tohsakaà Rinà your friendship was always invaluable, but you donÆt owe me anything-ô
ôShut the hell up,ö Rin barked, cutting him off, ôof course I do. Did you think I could have just teleported out of harmÆs way when Berserker was about to squash me into human paste? That I couldÆve just miraculously gotten up and healed myself after Kotomine whipped my ass? You idiot, I- I-ô
She stomped on the ground with a snarl of frustration, before fixing her gaze square on ShirouÆs face, piercing blue eyes almost dissecting the boy.
ôMakes me look like an even bigger dumbass to have been busy thinking about something so banal. Three hours of wasted time while our enemies are out there and your secrets were eating you aliveàö she murmured, ôbut thatÆs not the pointà the point isà the point isàö
Before Shirou could say or do anything to stop her Rin rushed forward, grabbing him by the wrists as she stood less than a third of a meter away from him.
ôThe point is, Shirouà youÆre not a hypocriteà and youÆre not a murderer!ö she told him forcefully, ôEven if you stumbledà even if you failedà the very fact that you got up and are still fighting more than makes up for it! Saber would agree.ö
ôTohsakaà youà you really think that way?ö
Rin nodded.
ôOf course I do,ö she asserted, ôand you better change your mind quickly and start thinking like that too, or I might just have to kick your ass.ö
Shirou smiled wanly, RinÆs fiery words lifting his mood.
ôIà maybe youÆre right.ö
ôGood enough for now, I guess,ö Rin said, smiling herself.
For a moment afterwards, there was peace, and the two simply remained as they were, Rin still holding ShirouÆs wrists.
ôSay, Tohsakaàö
ôYeah?ö
Shirou frowned, trying to find the best way to word his question before finally opting for sheer simplicity.
ôWhat were you thinking about a while ago? The thing you said was really dumb.ö
An atomic blush colored RinÆs face, and she shook her head.
ôNothing, nothing, itÆs completely unimportantàö she muttered.
ôJust tell me, will you?ö Shirou asked, ôI canÆt stand to see you just insulting yourself for something that seems so small-ô
ôItÆs not that small!ö Rin immediately cut him off, her blush growing in intensity, ôItÆs just that Ià I was thinking about you. But it wasà different.ö
Shirou blinked in confusion.
ôMe? Different? What do you mean?ö
ôItÆs not the way I usuallyà wellà itÆs just thatàö
She looked down, breaking eye contact and letting go of ShirouÆs wrists almost as if losing her resolve, but then her fists clenched and she looked back up, her gaze meeting with ShirouÆs once more as she talked in barely a whisper.
ôIà the truth is, Emiyaàö she said, ôI really, really like youàö
And without further ado, she kissed him.
----------------------------------------------
So... that's it for now. The fic's just about to start running the final stretch, and more action, death, introspection, hero-of-justice-ness, and one last (or two? The plot is never fully set in stone and I can't seem to decide...) hawt woman are going to be showing up as it heads towards climax. Frankly, the response until now has been quite amazing, as was the way this story just seemed to sort of... mutate every once in a while. Indeed, the only things left of the original idea I had in mind when I started writing the first scene are the pairings and the barest bones of the concept.
Heh. Well, hope you enjoyed this and will enjoy the rest.
Btw...
* Memorial Gardens: Burned park place. Can't for the life of me remember what it's called.
Now, on to the fic:
------
"Get. A. Grip."
A sort of stunned silence fell over the living room. Shirou gulped, rather afraid that breaking it would cause Rin to switch targets. He grimaced, taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.
ôAhemà Rin?ö
The girl turned her head to look at him, hands still forcefully pinning a shocked Ayako to the couch.
ôYes, Emiya?ö
æNot that I mind, butàÆ
ôDonÆt you think itÆd be better if you got off Ayako now?ö
Rin blinked, then gasped as she saw exactly how she was holding the other girl.
SheÆd been forced to bring her body up against Ayako while pinning her down, pressing her chest against her own rather obscenely. To top it off, sheÆd full-out straddled the girl in order to keep her from freeing herself, which meant that the warm spot her knee was currently pressing slightly against must beà
Silence reigned over the room once more, but this time it was quickly cut short as Ayako seemed to return from her stupor, staring at Rin with a sort of resigned peacefulness.
ôRin, Ià IÆm sorry,ö she muttered, ôIÆm sorry, and I know youÆre angry, and if I were Emiya-kun IÆd be angry as well, butà if youÆre going to do something to me, Rin, thenà not there. Please not there.ö
ôEek!ö
ôTohsaka!ö
THUD.
ôEmiya-kun!ö
Shirou gave a muffled sigh. HeÆd tried to catch Rin the moment sheÆd leapt backwards off the couch, but had somehow managed to slip. However, even if Rin had managed to fall on top of him, and it looked like she had, there was still no reason for his surroundings to be so dark, and certainly no reason for them to be so uncharacteristically warm, unlessà
æThisà thisàÆ
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not long after, everyone sat around the kitchen table, blushing, doing their best not to look at each other. Shirou stared at the floor, Rin stared at the ceiling, and Ayako stared at the surface of the table, fidgeting.
æThisàÆ Shirou thought, æis really rather awkward.Æ
A strange quiet loomed over them, waiting only to be broken by someone. Surprisingly, it was Ayako who spoke.
ôEmiya-kun?ö
Shirou turned to look at her. Ayako was gripping the edges of the table with her slender hands, averting his gaze.
ôAyako?ö Shirou asked tentatively, her previous fear still fresh in his mind.
The girl looked up.
ôIÆm sorryà for calling you a murderer,ö she said, ôI donÆt know what came over me.ö
Shirou blinked, rather dumbfounded. Disgusted with himself, he found that heÆd been expecting an outburst.
ôAyakoà youÆve nothing to be-ô
ôIÆm also sorry,ö the girl went on, cutting him off, ôfor not wanting to listen to you. IÆm certain you couldnÆt have done more back thereà given the circumstances.ö
ôAyako, I-ô
ôWhat IÆm not sorry for, though, is what I said earlier.ö She looked straight into his eyes. ôNothing gives us the right to judge when someone is beyond redemption.ö
æNo one should have to be a sacrifice.Æ
æI told that to a very special person, not so long agoà and I still believe in it. Even now that sheÆs gone.Æ
æGone?Æ
æYeahà sheà she had to leave. But I still believe in what I told her, Yumi, I still believe in it. And I like to thinkà I like to think that I convinced her to believe in it as well.Æ
æYeahà itÆs a beautiful ideal. If only the world were that fairàÆ
Shirou shook his head, fists clenching under the table. AyakoÆs words stung. He preached those ideals like a priest and then cast them aside the moment someone sufficiently aroused his anger. But thenà images of the same girl heÆd talked to being carried away, of Maiya Hisau coughing blood and ordering him in a sharp voice to get moving without care for what happened to her, of RaphaelÆs glinting green eyes and horrible smile, all that replaced his previous memory, and he found it difficult to control his words as his blood began to boil.
Shaking his head and focusing himself, Shirou fixed his gaze on Ayako again, ready to respond.
ôYou didnÆt know him, Ayako,ö he said, ôand I hope you never get to know anyone like him. I canÆt take back what I said, but I can promise you IÆm not as quick at judging people as I may have appeared yesterday night.ö
Ayako nodded.
ôYeahàö she muttered, ôcouldnÆt really expect an agreement on that. But that asideà would you forgive me, Emiya-kun? Could weà be friends again?ö
It was as if a massive weight had been taken off ShirouÆs chest after years of pressing down on him, finally allowing him to breathe. He nodded, grinning from ear to ear. He knew, deep down, that nothing short of a miracle or an otherwise astounding event could do away with the months or even years that would be needed for Ayako to fully have faith in him again, much less place more trust in him than she had before the incident. But at least now, however, things could be mended. At least now he could make an effort to bridge the gap.
ôYesàö Shirou answered her, still grinning, unconsciously placing his hand on hers, ôyes, of courseàö
Ayako nodded, making no effort to remove his hand and giving Shirou a smile back. It was tired, as was natural after all that had happened, but it was also genuine, and thatÆs what mattered.
ôAhem.ö
The happy solemnity of the moment was broken by the sharp interruption, and both Shirou and Ayako quickly withdrew their hands, almost jumping out of their seats as they turned to look at Rin, for whom the false severity of her gaze was doing nothing to hide her blush.
ôT-Tohsaka?ö
For a few seconds, Rin seemed to simply ignore her name being called, continuing to stare impassively at Shirou and Ayako. Soon, though, she seemed to snap back into reality, shaking her head as her cheeks reddened further.
ôAhem, yes, Iàö she muttered before finally focusing, glaring as she finally seemed to muster some control over herself, ôwhat I wanted to say is that your reconciliationÆs all well and good, but we still have work to do!ö
She stood up abruptly from her chair, fixing Shirou a sharp stare.
ôFrom what you told me a while ago thereÆs still a chance that your enemies are still out there, so weÆll need to get moving!ö
Shirou blinked dumbfoundedly, before catching on and growing serious.
ôYouÆre right, Tohsaka,ö he asserted with a sharp nod, ôwe should-ô
ôGood!ö Rin interrupted, ôOf course IÆm right! Now, since I made the mistake of bringing Ayako here without taking note of the danger, I propose that we bring her back to my place and leave her there. The wards are far safer!ö
ôAlright, Tohsaka, but-ô
ôPerfect! Now, after that, Shirou, you and I,ö she continued, ignoring his words, ôare going to patrol the area around AyakoÆs house to make sure there arenÆt any threats nearby. Then, after that, weÆre walking to the Memorial Gardens* to think of a plan. I do need you to tell me some things, Emiya. Now, is that alright with everyone? Good! Glad you agree!ö
ôUhà Rin?ö Ayako cut in, rather timidly, ôIs something wrong?ö
Rin turned to look at her, fixing her a bright smile. It looked like poisoned honey.
ôWrong? NothingÆs wrong! What couldÆve ever given you that idea?ö
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hours later, Shirou was walking through the Fuyuki Memorial Gardens, black boots cracking the dried leaves underneath them as he moved, wistfully looking at the burnt trees. Though over the years he had gotten used to the sight of the place, standing on the site of the catastrophe that had marked his childhood always left him broody, even more so after the Grail War.
æSaber and I went and sat here just half a year ago,Æ he thought. æBut it feels like an eternity.Æ
He shook his head, smiling wanly at the memory. After a few more seconds of stillness, he turned around to look at Rin, who was standing before a tree, simply looking at it. Though the black-haired girl had been walking with him ever since they had left Ayako at her manor, sheÆd said nary a word for several hours already, the look on her face making it seem as if she was wrapped up in some sort of internal turmoil. To top it off, whenever Shirou tried to talk to her all heÆd get would be noncommittal grunts.
Sighing, Shirou decided to try and break her out of her shell for the umpteenth time. After all, it was Rin whoÆd said they should come here and talk.
æThough I should probably have disagreed when I had the chance,Æ Shirou thought, æwhen I think about it, it doesnÆt seem like a good idea. WeÆre too far out in the openàÆ
Frowning, Shirou walked towards Rin, placing a hand on her shoulder.
ôTohsaka-ô
ôIÆm an idiot, Emiya-kun.ö
Shirou blinked. HeÆd not been expecting that.
ôWhat in the world do you mean?ö
Rin turned around to look at him.
ôIÆm an idiot,ö she repeated. ôJust look at me, worrying about completely idiotic things when weÆre in this predicament.ö
ôWhat things?ö
RinÆs eyes widened and she stepped back in surprise, as if sheÆd only just realized what sheÆd said.
ôNothing, itÆs nothing at all!ö
ôTohsaka, what-ô
ôNothing, Shirou, nothingàö she answered, then seemed to deflate, weakly kicking the ground and causing some leaves to fly upwards, ôjust me being a dumbass-ô
ôYouÆre not.ö
Shirou stepped closer, his gaze steely.
ôYouÆre not. WhatÆs wrong with you?ö
For a moment after asking the question it seemed to Shirou as if a look of longing had crossed RinÆs face, but in a second heÆd dismissed it as a trick of the light as the girl simply shook her head, smiling.
ôJust forget it, Emiya-kun,ö she told him, ôand anyways, what I wanted to talk about was you.ö
ôMe? Tohsaka, youÆre just-ô
ôIÆm being serious, Emiya,ö Rin cut him off, ôthat previous idiocy aside, weÆre not here for anything other than that. Or did you think IÆd have us formulating battle plans out in the open?ö
Shirou frowned.
ôBut what about me could you possibly want to talk about at this time?ö
ôI want to know more,ö Rin answered. ôMore about what happened to you.ö
ôI already told you-ô
ôNo, Emiya,ö she interrupted, ôyou just gave me a summary. That was nothing. I donÆt know if you noticed, or you thought you could hide it, but thereÆs something different about you. Something unsettling. I was sure something had gone wrong the moment I looked at you, and you confirmed it later. Now I want the full story.ö
Shirou frowned, wary.
ôWhy here, though?ö he asked, ôI donÆt understand.ö
ôNeither do I,ö Rin said, ôbut this place always seems to affect you. YouÆre less likely to sugarcoat the story here.ö
ôWhat makes you think that?ö
Rin simply looked at him pointedly.
ôMaybe one day, Emiyaàö she muttered, ôàmaybe one day IÆll get you to tell me what happened to you the night Fuyuki City went ablaze. But IÆve a lifetime for that. This, however, canÆt wait. I need you to tell me what happened, who these people are and how they operate. Tell me everything, Shirouàö
æSo who are you, really, Shirou?Æ
æIà wellàÆ
æJust like your father, a fool of the highest caliber-æ
æàmy father was a hero!Æ
æReally, now? And are you one too?Æ
Shirou sighed, fists clenching and unclenching. For a moment, he looked about to say no, but then lifted his head and looked Rin in the eye, gaze unwavering.
ôTheyÆre murderers,ö he told her, ômurderers and thieves, and yet their entire structure somehow still stands, held up by a family and the most skillful, most powerful magical contract killers in the world.ö
ôGoà go on,ö Rin told him, slightly taken aback by his vehemence.
ôThe grimoire that my father hid, Tohsakaàö Shirou muttered, ôàit wasnÆt worth what happened back there. It wasnÆt worth what those people did. Like I said before, when we first marched off everything was going smoothly. But then, when we met those civilians, treasure hunters, they called themselves. That was when we first saw trouble in the horizon. TheyÆd been hired by a rich collector whoÆd heard rumors about the book, and had sent them there to find it. They were led by a good manà he didnÆt deserve to dieà andà that man had a daughter. Her name was Yumi.ö
Rin arched an elegant eyebrow, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.
ôWhat happened next?ö
Shirou sighed, looking downcast.
ôHeh. ItÆs almost as if it was all done on purpose, like some big machination of fateà as if taking Saber wasnÆt enoughàö he shook his head, as if trying to shake away the thoughts. ôButà IÆm getting off trackà itÆs just that she was a wonderful person, Rin. YouÆd have loved to meet her. Kind, caring, funny. We became friends almost instantly.ö
ôFunny, then, how barely a week after I first met her we found our enemy.ö
ôWhat happened, Emiya?ö Rin asked, a concerned frown marking her features.
ôI was an idiot,ö Shirou answered frankly, ôI strayed deep into a nearby forest, and ended up an easy picking for one of them. Raffaelo Sanzio. The man I killed to save Ayako.ö
ôWhat did you do then?ö
ôI fought him. Fought him and lost, because his way of fighting was unlike anything IÆd seen before. The closest thing that could come to describe it would be Kuzuki-sanÆs fighting style, back during the Grail War, but even that is far too different. But when he knocked me down, I was saved by my fatherÆs old friend, Maiya Hisau. Raphael left, but threatened with retaliation. And there was.ö
ôYouà you just wouldnÆt be able to picture the whole thing without having seen it up close. These peopleà theyÆll resort to anything. Over the course of the month people just started dying, and soon enough it had all become some sort of twisted hidden game. Us against them, with the clueless treasure hunters caught in the middle. Then, as the month drew to a close, I talked to Yumi one last time. Ià I lied to her, Tohsaka. I couldnÆt tell her my secret, so I just claimed to have no idea of who was behind the murders, even after some of the other treasure hunters had already been killed.ö
Shirou paused there, taking a deep breath as if steeling himself.
ôTo top it offà I made a promise to her. She was such a good person; I couldnÆt stand thinking she might be killed too. So I told her IÆd keep her safe.ö ShirouÆs features twisted into an extremely disgusted look, fists clenching in impotent rage. ôI told her that, and the night after that the bastards decided to stop playing aroundà theyàö
He made another pause, head bowed. For a moment, he felt pathetic, both at his own failure and at his inability to keep some decorum even in front of Rin, whom he knew had no need for his self-pity. Pushing the emotion aside, he continued.
ôMy father was smart, Rinà smarter than us, which is why we didnÆt find the grimoire. But we were dealing with an enemy that had fought him before. And because their leader knew him, how he acted, how he operated, they managed to find the book before us. That wouldÆve been the end of it, but they decided to toy with us. Strike our team down one by one for daring to defy them, and then just sweep the few of us that remained aside. And they did. The night after I made my promise to Yumi was the night of the final blow. They attacked the camp, and I lost Yumi in the chaos.
ôAfter that, it was just a slaughter as I tried to get to her. I killed the fighters. I killed the leader. I nearly cast aside the grimoire. And in the end, I still failed. Yumi still died. And I said before that no one should have to be a sacrifice. And I swore I wouldnÆt break my promise. Guess IÆm just a bloody hypocrite, no?ö
A dreary silence pervaded the air as Shirou finished telling his story, broken only by the breeze ruffling through the leaves. Rin simply stood there, watching him.
For several long minutes they remained like that. Then, Rin spoke.
ôYou know, Emiya,ö she muttered slowly, ôall through the Grail War I privately wondered if there was anything I could have done differently that wouldÆve kept you out of this world, because I could soon tell, as I watched you grow, that if you made it through the War youÆd never go back to the way things were. And I was rightàö
ôWhat do you mean, Tohsaka?ö
ôI didnÆt want you to suffer,ö the girl answered, ôYouÆre too much of a good person, Emiya, and being an active magus is enough of a burden without the added pain I knew you would willingly put yourself through. Butà in the blink of an eye youÆve run around me. Here, at least, I could advise you, knock you upside the head if your ideals got the better of your reasoning and you started blaming yourself for everything. But out there? With you going through those things? How am I supposed to help you?ö
Shirou frowned, shaking his head.
ôI didnÆt know you thought that wayàö he muttered, ôand I canÆt let you keep thinking that way, so close to harmÆs way. Tohsakaà Rinà your friendship was always invaluable, but you donÆt owe me anything-ô
ôShut the hell up,ö Rin barked, cutting him off, ôof course I do. Did you think I could have just teleported out of harmÆs way when Berserker was about to squash me into human paste? That I couldÆve just miraculously gotten up and healed myself after Kotomine whipped my ass? You idiot, I- I-ô
She stomped on the ground with a snarl of frustration, before fixing her gaze square on ShirouÆs face, piercing blue eyes almost dissecting the boy.
ôMakes me look like an even bigger dumbass to have been busy thinking about something so banal. Three hours of wasted time while our enemies are out there and your secrets were eating you aliveàö she murmured, ôbut thatÆs not the pointà the point isà the point isàö
Before Shirou could say or do anything to stop her Rin rushed forward, grabbing him by the wrists as she stood less than a third of a meter away from him.
ôThe point is, Shirouà youÆre not a hypocriteà and youÆre not a murderer!ö she told him forcefully, ôEven if you stumbledà even if you failedà the very fact that you got up and are still fighting more than makes up for it! Saber would agree.ö
ôTohsakaà youà you really think that way?ö
Rin nodded.
ôOf course I do,ö she asserted, ôand you better change your mind quickly and start thinking like that too, or I might just have to kick your ass.ö
Shirou smiled wanly, RinÆs fiery words lifting his mood.
ôIà maybe youÆre right.ö
ôGood enough for now, I guess,ö Rin said, smiling herself.
For a moment afterwards, there was peace, and the two simply remained as they were, Rin still holding ShirouÆs wrists.
ôSay, Tohsakaàö
ôYeah?ö
Shirou frowned, trying to find the best way to word his question before finally opting for sheer simplicity.
ôWhat were you thinking about a while ago? The thing you said was really dumb.ö
An atomic blush colored RinÆs face, and she shook her head.
ôNothing, nothing, itÆs completely unimportantàö she muttered.
ôJust tell me, will you?ö Shirou asked, ôI canÆt stand to see you just insulting yourself for something that seems so small-ô
ôItÆs not that small!ö Rin immediately cut him off, her blush growing in intensity, ôItÆs just that Ià I was thinking about you. But it wasà different.ö
Shirou blinked in confusion.
ôMe? Different? What do you mean?ö
ôItÆs not the way I usuallyà wellà itÆs just thatàö
She looked down, breaking eye contact and letting go of ShirouÆs wrists almost as if losing her resolve, but then her fists clenched and she looked back up, her gaze meeting with ShirouÆs once more as she talked in barely a whisper.
ôIà the truth is, Emiyaàö she said, ôI really, really like youàö
And without further ado, she kissed him.
----------------------------------------------
So... that's it for now. The fic's just about to start running the final stretch, and more action, death, introspection, hero-of-justice-ness, and one last (or two? The plot is never fully set in stone and I can't seem to decide...) hawt woman are going to be showing up as it heads towards climax. Frankly, the response until now has been quite amazing, as was the way this story just seemed to sort of... mutate every once in a while. Indeed, the only things left of the original idea I had in mind when I started writing the first scene are the pairings and the barest bones of the concept.
Heh. Well, hope you enjoyed this and will enjoy the rest.
Btw...
* Memorial Gardens: Burned park place. Can't for the life of me remember what it's called.
Ah, if the Anime Laws of Physics allowed giant nosebleeds for girls, Rin would suffer one everytime she spots an attractive available female and Shiro in range. Or just Shiro.
And now... on with the review...
1.) Some teenage comedy to offset the rather... fatalistic mood set in the last few snippets. There are few things quite as amusing as embarrassed teenagers fighting their hormones.
2.) The reconciliation - of sorts - between Ayako and Shirou was a touching moment. While I personally think that no-one is beyond redemption, they cannot be redeemed unless they want to be. Raphael/Raffaelo most certainly is not amongst those who'd accept redemption, no, he seemed perfectly happy with his life and powers.... up to the moment he died, of course.
3.) Rin handles Shirou as if she was born to balance out his innate bravery (and idiocy). I like how you portray her as the steadfast magus - and teenage genius - that she is while, at the same time, not leaving out the fact that she is a human (and, by extension, a teenaged girl with all that entails)
4.) Can has moarburger pleez?
And now... on with the review...
1.) Some teenage comedy to offset the rather... fatalistic mood set in the last few snippets. There are few things quite as amusing as embarrassed teenagers fighting their hormones.
2.) The reconciliation - of sorts - between Ayako and Shirou was a touching moment. While I personally think that no-one is beyond redemption, they cannot be redeemed unless they want to be. Raphael/Raffaelo most certainly is not amongst those who'd accept redemption, no, he seemed perfectly happy with his life and powers.... up to the moment he died, of course.
3.) Rin handles Shirou as if she was born to balance out his innate bravery (and idiocy). I like how you portray her as the steadfast magus - and teenage genius - that she is while, at the same time, not leaving out the fact that she is a human (and, by extension, a teenaged girl with all that entails)
4.) Can has moarburger pleez?
Muahahahaha... absolutely delightful. A mortified Rin, a less naive Shirou pulling his head out of the sand (I actually like canon!Shirou, but there are times...), and a touching reconciliation. Is there actually anything missing in this awesome fic?
Oh yeah, more bloodshed. :evil3:
But seriously, I'm loving this fic more and more as it goes on. And I take it your more... sand-encrusted project will come to the fore soon, too?
:hail:
Oh yeah, more bloodshed. :evil3:
But seriously, I'm loving this fic more and more as it goes on. And I take it your more... sand-encrusted project will come to the fore soon, too?
:hail:
UBW. And Tohsaka-san's realisation that Shirou is canon!Archer.
Great snippet, flow is especially smooth and the plot is becoming more and more suspenseful -- either because of the tense action or because of the daily teenage, embarrassing, hormonal requirements.
Still, all in all, I don't see this one-shot finishing up in, say, the next 2 or 3 snippets. What with Ayako only marginally giving her trust back to Shirou, he's gonna have to pull a rabbit out his hat multiple times, bending over backwards this way and that, to prove to her that
1. he's a decent human being.
2. She can place her full trust in him again.
-and-
3. Yes, screwing him with Tohsaka senseless is fine - and encouraged.
Boo out.
Great snippet, flow is especially smooth and the plot is becoming more and more suspenseful -- either because of the tense action or because of the daily teenage, embarrassing, hormonal requirements.
Still, all in all, I don't see this one-shot finishing up in, say, the next 2 or 3 snippets. What with Ayako only marginally giving her trust back to Shirou, he's gonna have to pull a rabbit out his hat multiple times, bending over backwards this way and that, to prove to her that
1. he's a decent human being.
2. She can place her full trust in him again.
-and-
3. Yes, screwing him with Tohsaka senseless is fine - and encouraged.
Boo out.
'sup.
Again, thanks for the responses, guys. Would've replied earlier, but yanno, I was involved in matters of utmost importance for international security, and ended up being too busy dodging bullets and shit to get on this thread. B)
(Read: I'm a lazy, lazy bum)
Now...
Pretty much agree with this, though I want to say that I think redemption cannot be carried out between enemies, i.e. Raphael and Shirou. After all, if I, say... kill someone's sister, but then repent for the crime and live a life of penitence and well-doing, most people would say that I have redeemed myself, but if I went to the girl's brother, he'd probably still want to kill me in revenge.
When I wrote Ayako in that part, though, I sort of pictured her not having caught on to either this or what you said, mainly because not only was she rather traumatized by the events, but because she didn't see them in their entirety - she saw Shirou kill Raphael, but she never saw Raphael turn Shirou into a human pincushion. That'd create a skewed view of things, wouldn't you agree?
Will happen. As for The Shadow and the Flame, that thing will get done if it's the last fic I write. It'll have to wait juuuust a little while longer, though: I'm aiming to nab the $800 dollar prize at a local writing contest (yeah, not much, as reading and writing aren't exactly a huge thing down here in good old Mexico, but... money... :cumdrool: ). I promise you, though, I'll make TSF my top priority project once I finish all of that. I'm serious.
Heh. Considering the illogical maze that seemingly makes up the human mind (especially the female one), I could probably throw myself into some huge, boring plot odyssey based solely on the outcome of Ayako having seen Shirou turn Raphael's head into a bloody mush of blood, bone, and brains, but I won't, because: a) it'd be boring, and B) this was always supposed to be a oneshot, after all.
That doesn't mean, however that there won't be anymore character development, just that it won't happen under the moderately calm conditions it did during the middle arc of this short story. Ayako and Shirou's dilemma will be resolved.
Mind you, though, that doesn't mean Ayako's trauma won't cost Shirou something one last time.
Why... no! Of course not...
...so long as they promise me rewards for their continued happiness, that is. :evil2:
Again, thanks for the responses, guys. Would've replied earlier, but yanno, I was involved in matters of utmost importance for international security, and ended up being too busy dodging bullets and shit to get on this thread. B)
(Read: I'm a lazy, lazy bum
)Now...
Pretty much agree with this, though I want to say that I think redemption cannot be carried out between enemies, i.e. Raphael and Shirou. After all, if I, say... kill someone's sister, but then repent for the crime and live a life of penitence and well-doing, most people would say that I have redeemed myself, but if I went to the girl's brother, he'd probably still want to kill me in revenge.
When I wrote Ayako in that part, though, I sort of pictured her not having caught on to either this or what you said, mainly because not only was she rather traumatized by the events, but because she didn't see them in their entirety - she saw Shirou kill Raphael, but she never saw Raphael turn Shirou into a human pincushion. That'd create a skewed view of things, wouldn't you agree?
Is there actually anything missing in this awesome fic? :evil3:
Oh yeah, more bloodshed.
Oh yeah, more bloodshed.
As for The Shadow and the Flame, that thing will get done if it's the last fic I write. It'll have to wait juuuust a little while longer, though: I'm aiming to nab the $800 dollar prize at a local writing contest (yeah, not much, as reading and writing aren't exactly a huge thing down here in good old Mexico, but... money... :cumdrool: ). I promise you, though, I'll make TSF my top priority project once I finish all of that. I'm serious.Heh. Considering the illogical maze that seemingly makes up the human mind (especially the female one), I could probably throw myself into some huge, boring plot odyssey based solely on the outcome of Ayako having seen Shirou turn Raphael's head into a bloody mush of blood, bone, and brains, but I won't, because: a) it'd be boring, and B) this was always supposed to be a oneshot, after all.
That doesn't mean, however that there won't be anymore character development, just that it won't happen under the moderately calm conditions it did during the middle arc of this short story. Ayako and Shirou's dilemma will be resolved.
Mind you, though, that doesn't mean Ayako's trauma won't cost Shirou something one last time.
Why... no! Of course not...
...so long as they promise me rewards for their continued happiness, that is. :evil2: