Akamatsuverse Can't think of a title...

#27
Easiest way to get over one addiction is to replace it with another, hopefully less harmful, addiction. Kitsune, being the way she is... well, the choice is obvious.

Hell, I know a site that's dedicated to hentai flash games run by some russian guy because hentai helped him get over his alcohol addiction.

As I said, poor poor Keitaro...
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#28
Of course between the lack of alcohol and Keitaro being too nervous to enjoy her affections, I can see Kitsune getting very angry by the end.
 
#29
I'm betting that by the time the weekends out, Mitsune will be so frustrated, she'd grab him and have her wicked way with him no matter what Keitaro did to try and stop her.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#30
I would have suggested that, but I didn't want to sound like I was ripping off Wicked. Not that the ideas a bad one mind you, since Keitaros so non-aggressive thats one of the only two ways he'd have premarital (and possibly postmarital) sex with any of the girls.
 
#31
Kitsune's smart enough, she will get him over it, trust me.

Or we could go the more romantic route, and have him holding her through the night as she goes through withdrawals. Only to find out later that she's ended up dependent on him and has trouble sleeping unless he's right there.

Just makes you wanna go "Awwwww!" :wub:
 

ThreadWeaver

Beware of Dog. Cat not trustworthy either.
#32
grant said:
I would have suggested that, but I didn't want to sound like I was ripping off Wicked. Not that the ideas a bad one mind you, since Keitaros so non-aggressive thats one of the only two ways he'd have premarital (and possibly postmarital) sex with any of the girls.
This I don't agree with. He is in his own way what Naru calls him: a Hentai. The anime itself shows him dreaming about being with Naru/the girls romantically. His only stumbling block is he's too fearful to try anything. All they have to do to get him to be a sex fiend is let him know it's okay to be that way and to show him that there's not going to be painful repercussions/rejections if he does.
 
#33
ThreadWeaver said:
and to show him that there's not going to be painful repercussions/rejections if he does.
Unfortunately this might require prior buy in by the other residents of the dorm. . .


The only problem I see with having Keitaro comfort Kitsune through her problems is that it looks like everyone else will be in a position to interfere.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#34
Sorry for the wait, here's what I've got so far of part 4

***

Keitaro Urashima strained as he hefted both his and KitsuneÆs luggage off the train. He still wasnÆt quite certain about their little cover story. His companion had spent quite a bit of time adding exceedingly minor details and seemed to have trouble keeping each tidbit straight herself. Eventually they figured that the main details of their story were enough, and that theyÆd just have to wing it if her parentÆs pried into the history of their non-existent relationship.

His companion seemed to be carrying a lot in her own way. Keitaro had seen her nervous during horse races or when one of her schemes was going awry, but he had never seen her in a state of near-panic like she was now.

ôIs everything all right?ö He inquired.

ôYes!ö his companion exclaimed insincerely. Her stress bled into her voice as she continued to speak. ôEverythingÆs fine! I just need toàneed toàö

ôAre you sure?ö Keitaro asked.

Kitsune sighed heavily. ôNo, IÆm not. I havenÆt spoken to my parents since I arrived at Hinata.ö

ôDo you want to talk about it?ö

ôNot even a little bit.ö Came the curt reply. ôBut I said IÆd tell you when we arrived.ö

ôAll right, but stop if it gets too uncomfortable.ö Keitaro mumbled.

ôNah,ö Kitsune half-chuckled. ôItÆs not like weÆre on bad terms or anything. ItÆs just that thereÆs been a lot of frustration between us.ö Her voice trailed off as they strolled leisurely away from the train, or be precise she strolled leisurely while an over-laden Keitaro struggled to move, much less keep up.

ôItÆs just that they can be so insufferable sometimes. I mean how can they sit back and try to plan out my life when it looks like they donÆt even know much about me? I would have thought that by now they would have at least learned something. I mean, after all those others youÆd think theyÆd try to be a little more discriminating about all of this, donÆt you think?ö The fox paused to let her faux-fiance respond.

Keitaro was silent on the issue.

ôMaybe IÆm just worrying and being too pessimistic about all this. Maybe the reason theyÆve waited so long is that theyÆve finally gotten someone halfway decent! This might actually be a good opportunity now that I think about it!ö

The fox sighed heavily again; this time out of relief rather than resignation.

ôThankÆs Keitaro, youÆve been a really good liste-ö A loud crash interrupted her musings. Mitsune spun around to see the source of the commotion.

Apparently Keitaro hadnÆt even gotten off the boarding platform. Although the ronin unable to move while carrying both of their belongings, the straps on the bags gave way before he did, spilling their contents across the station floor. The majority of what Kitsune had packed was heavy bottles of Alcohol, and many of them had shattered when the carrying handles snapped off, ruining the booze, the suitcases, and any other contents in one clumsy swoop.

Kitsune bit back a sream of curses. Not simply because good alcohol had been wasted, but also due the fact that this was the second time she had bared her soul to him and found him distracted. The fox grit her teeth. She wasnÆt accustomed to talking about herself in any detail, but now that she had gathered up to do so, the oaf was going to listen to every last nuance of her life story.
 

BakaNeko

Well-Known Member
#35
Ive got another title suggestion.

Why you shouldn't lie at an Omiai
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#36
Hmm...looking back over this fic, it looks pretty rubbish, doesn't it? In retrospect I should try coming up with a plot before slamming randomly on a keyboard. But in the intrest of giving lord raa's idea it's due, I'd like to take another stab at this from the top.

***

Konno Mitsune barely contained her screams of frustration as she set the phone receiver down. Her parents had demanded that she attend yet another omiai. Even before she had arrived at Hinata-sou and granny HinaÆs intervention several years ago, her parents had repeatedly dropped hints that they were interested in seeing their daughter finally ôsettle down.ö Her family eased on their needling ever-so-slightly after she moved to the dorms, but recently they had been dropping constant hints about ôher future,ö and ôcontinuing the Konno Household.ö

Kitsune didnÆt hate her parents. Heck, in a weird way she could kind of understand them. Both her mother and father had married each other over business arrangements, and while neither of them were unhappy in the strictest sense of the word, their relationship had always been plagued by ômaybes,ö and ôwhat ifs.ö Determined that their children not end up wallowing in doubt, they tried to marry off their children to people that they thought they would love.

Unfortunately love is blind and so were KisuneÆs parents. Rather than setting their only daughter up with-say- a slightly older, rich, deep, and attractive man; they paired her up with young, impressionable artsy types who had the emotional depth of dishwater and a net worth that compared unfavorably with that of a beggar.

To be fair, there had been one exception. Unfortunately thatàcandidate had other less surmountable issues. She was almost grateful of the suggestion in a weird way, as it allowed her to move into the dorms and start her life again. While she would never tell anyone at Hinata about her reason for coming to stay at the dorms she realized that she might have to start explaining very soon.

ôKitsune, is something wrong?ö came the only masculine-sounding voice (well, other than MotokoÆs at times) in the dorms.

ôYeah, you sounded really frustrated just now.ö added her oldest friend. Mitsune tensed up as she realized she might have to start explaining things sooner than anticipated.

ôIt wasnÆt very important. I have to get ready though.ö Kitsune responded as curtly as possible. All the while she inched slowly towards the hallway as she tried to break away from the conversation.

ôFor your omiai?ö Keitaro blurted out before any sort of internal censor could stop him.

MitsuneÆs eye twitched slightly. ôExactly how much of that did you guys hear?ö her voice squeaked. Cracks began appearing in the foxÆs normally inscrutable demeanor.

ôAlmost all of it.ö Naru mumbled nervously. Despite living together for several years, the younger girl had only found out bits and pieces of her friends life before coming to the dorms. She knew that her friend guarded her past tenaciously, and seeing it dragged out into the open like this must be excruciating.

ôIs there anything that we can do?ö Keitaro offered, not entirely sure of what he could do. ôWeÆre here to help!ö

ôHeÆs right, Kitsune. Besides, how bad could it be?ö Naru added.

At that moment, Kitsune wished that she could introduce her friend to some of her previous partners, perhaps one of the many self-styled ôartisteÆsö that wanted her to model for a completely tasteful nude portrait?

ôNaru, youÆve probably scraped things off your shoe that would make better husbands than those section-eights.ö

ôOff my shoe huh? You mean like Keitaro?ö Naru chuckled, pointing at her fellow ronin.

ôHey!ö

ôYou were thinking it too! Admit it!ö

ôThat has nothing to- Kitsune?ö the bespectacled boyÆs body froze as he met his friendÆs gaze.

The part-timer rested her head on her chin, staring straight into his eyes. Slowly her gaze shifted as she analyzed every inch of the young man like a butcher sizing up a slab of meat. Satisfied with the front, she walked around him, studying him from every angle. After walking in a full circle around her prey, she licked her lips and grinned.

ôThatÆs not a bad idea, actually.ö

Snaking an arm around KeitaroÆs she began pulling the ronin towards her room.

ôCome to think of it, there is something you can do for me.ö She cooed in as sultry a voice as possible.

***

And that's all I've got at the moment. I figure I should spend some time hammering out the plot before I try to go any further.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#37
:snigger: Interesting. Poor Keitaro.
 
#39
Naw, she's teasing again. Its when those withdrawls hit that Keitaro's gonna get raped :snigger:

This is a better take than the last one, much better. I'll be glad to see it continue.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#40
Meant to comment earlier, but forgot...

The part-timer rested her head on her chin
I'd reword it, it does not sound right this way.
 

alansg

Well-Known Member
#42
It's a good new begining. Some parts of the first version seemed out of place, but overall was good. I'm sure this is going to be better.

Continue with the good work.
 

Greengun

Well-Known Member
#43
Looking forward to more of this. I tried reading this new intro and then reading the old parts and it seemed to flow fairly well so the older parts don't need to be scrapped just yet. A few revisions and you'll probably be set.

You implied that Mitsumi has at least one brother is he/they going to play any part in this story? Just curious if your going to try and make Kitsune's brother Tsuruko's husband or bring in more original characters.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#44
Nah, he's not going to make an appearance unless absolutely necessary. Heck, if possible I'd like to skirt around having Kitsune's parents make an appearance.

According to the "Useless Love Hina facts" thread she has a brother, so I figured I might at least want to mention him. As to who her brother actually is, I have my own theory, but only circumstantial evidence to support it.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#45
snippity

***
As Naru continued to press her ear against her best friendÆs door, she silently hoped she wouldnÆt get any splinters. She also hoped that her friend had retained a measure of her sanity. Kitsune had been briefing their landlord about her wild scheme for the past twenty minutes, blissfully oblivious to NaruÆs presence on the other side of the door.

Spying on the other residents for their own good was a duty that typically fell on one of the other inhabitants, typically ones that were smaller (like Kaolla and Sarah, when she stayed over) or more experienced at it. (Like Kitsune) However Narusegawa Naru had no hesitation about invading someone elseÆs privacy when the situation called for it.

And boy, was it called for. She had barely recognized that look Kitsune had given Keitaro. That look meant that a plot was brewing in her friendÆs mind. It was rare for her to catch a hint that her friend was brainstorming trouble, although Naru had managed to glean an occasional hint or two.

Granted, stirring up trouble was practically second nature for her friend, but Naru had never seen her quite so desperate during her scheming. The many pranks her friend pulled (while irritating-especially for their intended targets, and a few unfortunate bystanders) were almost always in good humor and even held an occasional object lesson. Seeing the state her old friend was in caused her to wonder if the fox might take things too far this time.

Thankfully she had started eavesdropping on the duo since the start of their little chat. The ronin had picked up on every nuance of her friendÆs plan. It was dangerous, foolhardy and could lead to irrevocable disaster for both the fox and a mostly-innocent bystander. After listening to that train-wreck of a plan, Narusegawa had half a mind to jump in right there and drag her fellow ronin out of the impending fire.

ôAre you sure thatÆs the wisest thing to do?ö KeitaroÆs protests sounded half-hearted, even from the other side of the door.

ôUnless you can come up with something better, I suggest we start packing.ö

Naru took that as her queue to pull her ear away from the door and shuffle silently down the hallway.

Well, she tried to shuffle off silently at any rate.

ôNaru, donÆt leave! You were supposed to jump in halfway and tell us how crazy and suicidal our plan was!ö KitsuneÆs call stopped Naru dead in her tracks.

ôNaru? What are you doing out there?ö cried out the landlord.

The would-be spy came to her senses, and in one swift movement she bounded back to the door and violently flung open the sliding door, almost shattering it into splinters.

ôYou knew I was out there?ö Naru fumed.

ôWell, you werenÆt doing a very good job of hiding.ö grinned the short-haired woman. ôBut IÆm surprised at you! ArenÆt you always getting on my case about that?ö

ôW-well thatÆs becauseàeràö Naru squirmed under the pressure. ôWait, does this mean that scheme of yours wasnÆt real?ö

ôNope.ö KitsuneÆs response calmed her friend.

ôThen you arenÆt planning to have Keitaro send a phoney kidnapping note to your parents and then use the money to run away to Rio de Janeiro?ö

ôWell, weÆll just call that æPlan BÆ for now.ö
 
#46
I think we're missing something in the middle here... still, that was funny. Plan B indeed.
 

alansg

Well-Known Member
#47
Not bad. Actually, it's very good. But compared with what you have writen before for this same story, it's not as detailed.

Otherwise, good job.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#48
More snippets

***

Keitaro examined the other occupants of the room as quickly as possible before he was accused of ogling his tenants. The two of them had started arguing, and Keitaro could tell voices that he wasnÆt invited, if only because of KitsuneÆs prior warning to butt out of the ôrealö planning session with Naru.

Kitsune had passed Keitaro a scrap of paper with her real plan as she was telling him about the fake plan. To be honest, Keitaro wasnÆt certain that the latter was any saner than that former. The fox had already informed him that ôtheirö real plan was to fool her parents into thinking that she was already married. By virtue of elimination, Keitaro had the honor of being her faux groom. To keep the other residents off their backs, it was vital that Naru believe that the whole idea was hers in the first place.

He wasnÆt entirely certain why it was necessary to deceive the other tenants, but Kitsune was far more experienced in things like this-or so she claimed. He wasnÆt entirely certain why he was going along with this in the first place. The whole affair was clearly a train wreck in the making.

The ronin chided himself for that line of thinking. Someone-no, not just someone, but a tenant and a friend was in trouble and needed his aid. And he would do everything in his power to help her, even if she seemed a little crazy.

ôThen why donÆt we use Keitaro?ö Kitsune suggested. The landlord snapped to attention after hearing his name.

ôThis pervert?ö Naru dismissively waived a hand at Keitaro, who took the abuse in stride. He knew better than to respond to her barbs. ôI guarantee heÆll take your æmarriageÆ too seriously!ö

ôWell, we need a guy, and he fits the bill.ö

ôBarely.ö Naru huffed. Suddenly her eyes lit up with inspiration. ôHey, why donÆt I just borrow some of his clothes, bind my chest like Motoko and go instead.ö

Kitsune blanched as she set her hands on her longtime friendÆs shoulders and squeezed firmly. ôNaru, I know you mean well, but youÆre the last person I want my parents to see me with.ö

ôWhat? What does that mean?ö Naru blurted out as she tried to puzzle out her friendÆs last remark.

ôAnyway, itÆs decided! Keitaro, we need to get ready.ö Kitsune announced as she quickly excused herself from the room, leaving the landlord with a very confused and frustrated Naru.


###

Edited the previous post to (hopefully) make a smoother transition grom the beginning.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#49
Kitsune blanched as she set her hands on her longtime friendÆs shoulders and squeezed firmly. ôNaru, I know you mean well, but youÆre the last person I want my parents to see me with.ö
Man... that could be taken *so* many ways.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#50
PCHeintz72 said:
Kitsune blanched as she set her hands on her longtime friendÆs shoulders and squeezed firmly. ôNaru, I know you mean well, but youÆre the last person I want my parents to see me with.ö
Man... that could be taken *so* many ways.
:snigger: So true.
 
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