Akamatsuverse Can't think of a title...

Antimatter

Well-Known Member
#51
PCHeintz72 said:
Kitsune blanched as she set her hands on her longtime friendÆs shoulders and squeezed firmly. ôNaru, I know you mean well, but youÆre the last person I want my parents to see me with.ö
Man... that could be taken *so* many ways.
Remember, all discussion involving taking it in many ways belongs in the lemon forums.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#52
Update time.

***

Kitsune grunted as she frantically stuffed another armful of clothes into her small carry-on bag. She had let a little too much slip a few minutes ago, and the sooner she was ready to leave, the better. She had managed to keep that particular incident a complete secret from everyone, even Haruka who could normally see through her deceptions like they were cellopha-

A sharp knock on her door interrupted KitsuneÆs train of thought. Her grip on the suitcase faltered, and the container practically exploded in a cascade of fabrics.

ôC-come in.ö the fox huffed, trying and failing to sound calm and collected while holding armfuls of oneÆs undergarents.

Keitaro stepped into the room with the expected degree of doubt and uncertainty he always had after being dragged kicking and screaming into one of her schemes. Kitsune hurriedly resumed stuffing her armful of clothes into her bag.

ôKitsune, are you really sure we should be going through with this?ö her landloard asked.

ôDonÆt worry about it.ö She announced with a wink. ôJust follow my lead and everything will go smoothly.ö

ôNo, itÆs not that.ö He continued to protest. ôI was wondering if we should be doing this at all. I donÆt know if we should be lying to your parents about this.ö

æNo plan survives first contact with your friends, huh?Æ Kitsune thought to herself. Things were going from bad to worse. Just when she thought she had Keitaro wrapped around her little finger with confusion; it looked like he might start showing signs of a spine.

Asàinteresting as that thought was, it was also couldnÆt have come at a less opportune time. SheÆd have to get this over with quickly.

ôPlease, Keitaro. I just need your help this once!ö as demeaning as it was, Keitaro was too much of a softie to say no to anyoneÆs begging.

ôI donÆt have any right to tell you that itÆs the wrong thing to do, after the way I lied to all of you when I got here, anyway. But look where that got me.ö

ôYou wound up manager and landlord of an all-girls dorm loaded with hot saucy numbers like the one in front of you. Are you actually complaining about that?ö

ôNo! IÆm glad I got the chance to come here, but I was going to become manager anyway, and all my lying did was get on everyoneÆs bad side. IÆm worried that you might be making a mistake. What if the guy they got is someone you might like?ö

ôFat chance of that. They wouldnÆt know my tastes if it slapped them upside the head.ö The fox growled. Despite her frustration, she chose her words carefully to avoid revealing too much.

ôIt couldnÆt be all that bad, could it?ö

ôYou have no idea.ö She waived his reply off dismissively. ôIÆll tell you later. Look, if you help me out here, I can put in a few good words for you with Naru.ö She offered.

ôYou donÆt have to do that, IÆll help you with-wait, does that mean youÆve been telling her bad things about me?ö

ôEr...well, not as such, no.ö she replied, backpedaling as fast as possible. ôBut I could stop telling her to stop settling for you and start telling her that youÆre a pretty good catch!ö

ôYou donÆt have to do that.ö The ronin responded. ôLike I said, IÆll help you.ö


ôThanks Keitaro, I owe you one. Now go on! Get packing!ö she said with a slight smirk as she chased him out of her room.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#53
But I could stop telling her to stop settling for you and start telling her that youÆre a pretty good catch!ö
Ouch, harsh. Glad to see an update, only criticism I have is ending the update with a spoken sentence.
 

alansg

Well-Known Member
#54
This caught my atention:

Kitsune grunted as she frantically stuffed another armful of clothes into her small carry-on bag. She had let a little too much slip a few minutes ago, and the sooner she was ready to leave, the better. She had managed to keep that particular incident a complete secret from everyone, even Haruka who could normally see through her deceptions like they were cellopha-
Did something happened that made her parents think that, maybe, she is a lesbian?

A very interesting update.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#55
alansg said:
This caught my atention:

Kitsune grunted as she frantically stuffed another armful of clothes into her small carry-on bag. She had let a little too much slip a few minutes ago, and the sooner she was ready to leave, the better. She had managed to keep that particular incident a complete secret from everyone, even Haruka who could normally see through her deceptions like they were cellopha-
Did something happened that made her parents think that, maybe, she is a lesbian?

A very interesting update.
Well, she does reject all the guys they try to set her up with, and seems very attached to Naru... :snigger: Imagine Naru's reaction, if someone suggested that.
 

Alzrius

Well-Known Member
#56
Hm, I think alansg's nailed it.

The implied message is that Kitsune is a closet lesbian, and her parents somehow found out. Now, they're trying to find a guy for her to marry so she'll be "playing for the right team," and she's using Keitaro as a beard.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#57
Alzrius said:
Hm, I think alansg's nailed it.

The implied message is that Kitsune is a closet lesbian, and her parents somehow found out. Now, they're trying to find a guy for her to marry so she'll be "playing for the right team," and she's using Keitaro as a beard.
Hmmm... but is she a closet lesbian, as you say, or do they *think* she is one?

While her actions would be close to the same in either case, her reasoning would not.
 

alansg

Well-Known Member
#58
PCHeintz72 said:
Alzrius said:
Hm, I think alansg's nailed it.

The implied message is that Kitsune is a closet lesbian, and her parents somehow found out. Now, they're trying to find a guy for her to marry so she'll be "playing for the right team," and she's using Keitaro as a beard.
Hmmm... but is she a closet lesbian, as you say, or do they *think* she is one?

While her actions would be close to the same in either case, her reasoning would not.
Exactly. She cut her hair after she graduated from highschool. And lives in an female-only dormitory. And has a rather relaxed life when compared with a traditional Japanese woman.

It's hinted in the manga that she hasn't had boyfriends. From personal experience, I know that most Japanese guys don't like girls with behaviour similar to Kitsune. That could be a reason.

The hints are there. Her parents only needs one small detail and voila, to their eyes, her daughter is gay.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#59
Tried to fix the ending a little bit. (Thanks grant) I'm not really certain what direction this is taking. I intended it to be a bit more Kei/Kit, but i'm a little less certain where other things are going.

Timeline wise, i figure that this is set somewhere between books five and six. Kei has his eye on Naru, but while the concrete's poured, it's not quite solid yet. Keitaro is really the hard one to write for any Kei/anyone else fic and keep him and Naru in character.

Kitsune's previous romantic escapades (or possible lack thereof) is kinda harder to determine. We know that she didn't have a boyfriend in highschool, although not for want of trying, but afterwards? that's a years gap between highschool and Keitaro's arrival-time enough for several relationships. They're never mentioned, but they're also not relevant to the overal plot of the original story, so even if they did happen they didn't need to be covered. In fanfiction, it's a little fuzzier. It could probably go either way due to lack of evidence.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#60
Update time.

***

ôUrashima, we need to speak with you.ö Motoko confronted Keitaro as soon as he closed the door to KitsuneÆs room.

ôSure, just let me pack first.ö Keitaro replied as he turned to enter his room.

ôNow.ö Motoko growled. ôTo the atticö

Keitaro had intended to start packing, he really did. However, when a shinmeiryu swordswoman accosts someone by jabbing a scabbard into the small of oneÆs back and orders them to march, that person isnÆt in much position to argue.

As they approached their destination, Keitaro could hear the other girlsÆ voices. He couldnÆt make out exact words, but from the assorted giggles from Kaola mixed with NaruÆs increasingly frustrated explanations, he could get the gist of it. The young ronin readied himself for a pummeling.

Normally, Naru was only violent when something perverse came up. Despite her open interpretation of what qualified as perversion she quite pleasant to be around when she was calm. Right now he was getting caught up pretending to be her best friendÆs husband, and in her eyes he was probably going to jump Kitsune the moment everyoneÆsÆ back was turned. To put it bluntly, he was about to be beaten to a pulp, castrated, or both.

As he made his way up the final steps, he closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable Naru punch.

ôYou donÆt get it!ö Naru explained, trying to keep herself from shouting. ôIÆve never seen her scared like that before!ö

ôMaybe she has a good reason?ö Shinobu replied meekly. Not wanting to draw attention to himself, Keitaro held his breath as they went about their conversation.

ôSheÆd better!ö Naru snapped. ôShe still canÆt believe sheÆs dragging Keitaro into all of this, does she even know how close the practice exam is?ö Keitaro slowly opened an eye. Was he wrong? It seemed like Kitsune had earned the lionÆs share of NaruÆs ire, but that hardly meant he was completely safe. His thoughts were interrupted when Suu suddenly rocketed away from the two, intent on delivering a playful and painful æhelloÆ kick to her landlord.

ôHiya Keitaro!ö Suu gleefully shouted. Keitaro inhaled sharply, only to have his breath forced from his lungs as the giddy foreigner planted a foot near his diaphragm. ôIs it true ya and the fox lady got hitched?ö

ôNo, Suu. Like I was telling you, theyÆre just pretending.ö Naru grumbled in frustration as she helped Keitaro to his feet.

ôIt is just pretend, right sempai?ö Shinobu said, half-begging for a æyes.Æ

ôDonÆt worry.ö Keitaro said as he struggled to get air back into his lungs. Aside from SuuÆs relatively gentle flying kick, it seemed he was safe.

ôCan I play too?ö Suu announced as she crawled on his back.

ôKeitaro, do you have any of Granny HinaÆs notes? Maybe thereÆs something in there.ö Naru said, trying her best to ignore Suu.

ôActually, I donÆt think she had any notes about Kitsune.ö Keitaro could tell Naru wasnÆt satisfied with that response. ôItÆs kinda weird now that you mention it.ö

ôThis just keeps getting stranger and stranger.ö Naru mused. ôShe never said anything about what happened before she came here.ö

ôWe all have things we donÆt want to share.ö Motoko stated flatly. The swordswoman seemed unnerved by the direction the conversation was heading.

ôYeah, but she never said a word about her past to any of us. Not to me or even to Granny Hina, it seems.ö Narusegawa continued as she wracked her memory for any possible clue.

ôWell, it seems to have something to do with all those omiai.ö Keitaro chimed in.

ôThat doesnÆt explain why sheÆd be so secretive about it.ö Motoko retorted calmly

ôI wanna play too! I can be married to Motoko!ö

ôSuu! Stop fooling around, you canÆt even marry aàö

Realization hit the small gathering like a ton of bricks.
 
#61
Not bad, not bad at all. Only a couple grammatical mistakes.

ôIt is just pretend, right sempai?ö Shinobu said, half-begging for a æno
Shouldn't that be a 'yes'? She wants him to confirm that it's just pretend, rather than admitting that he just married Kitsune. Unless she's living vicariously through Kitsune, that is. :snigger:

ôActually, I donÆt think she had any notes about Kitsune, now that you mention it.ö Keitaro could tell Naru wasnÆt satisfied with that response. ôItÆs kinda weird now that you mention it
Pretty redundant, there, D. I'd drop the first one, and keep the second.

Now, as for the plot? Most intriguing. Now, if you're going by the 'Not really a closet lesbian-but the parents think that she is' arc, this should prove interesting. Though I can't help but get the image that Kitsune's going to wind up falling for Keitaro while he's convinced that she's gay.

Now, of course, we need MOAR!!
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#62
Hmmm... interesting developments.

A comment though. It was previously stated this is somewhere between books 5 and 6. Does canon hold though.

The reason I ask, is you made it clear Naru does not know Kitsune's past at all. But in canon Naru knew Kitsune for a while, as they were in school together, even if it had to be different grades.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#63
Heh, mass misunderstandingsn that are pointed at someone other than Keitaro. But wouldn't Naru know a little, I thought that she and Kitsune went to the same school?

Missed PCHeintz72's comment.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#64
Update time
***

Keitaro Urashima enjoyed riding in trains. The passing scenery coupled with surprisingly comfy seats and the dull, almost hypnotizing clickity-clack of the rails made for a thoroughly relaxing experienceà

ôCome on, Keitaro! I canÆt drink all of these by myself.ö Kitsune said, her breath heavy with the scent of alcohol. She shoved a bottle into his hand. ôOne or two wonÆt hurt.ö Somehow, she had managed to convince the drinks vendor to leave more than was normal, bringing envious glares from other passengers.

ôKitsune, just yesterday I saw you drink more than all of those in one gulp.ö

ôAww, donÆt you want to share a drink with your æloving wifeÆ?ö she cooed as she leaned her head against his shoulder for a few moments.

Surprisingly, Keitaro didnÆt react to her touch. It felt pleasant certainly, but after his newfound insight into his tenant the experience just seemed forced.

The discovery that Mitsune was a closet lesbian had mixed reactions. On the one hand, it didnÆt really seem to change who their dorm-mate was, but it also painted all past interaction with her in a different light. Suddenly every jovial æbreast exam,Æ eerily inappropriate smile, and double entedre seemed moreàviolating than it had at the time. Motoko nearly stormed out of the attic to make the fox pay for her ôcrimes.ö It took everyoneÆs combined effort, including ShinobuÆs and TamaÆs to hold her down until she calmed.

ôAre you okay?ö he asked innocently as she fidgeted nervously in her seat.

ôYeah,ö she said after downing another mini-bottle. ôItÆs nothing.ö

**

Even if it was just an attempt to end a conversation quickly, it was true. Keitaro hadnÆt blushed, he hadnÆt flailed about, he hadnÆt even stammered incoherently! Getting KeiÆs blood going was always good for the ego, even if it was about as difficult as sand-blasting a saltine cracker. She knew how to take rejection, but apathy? That was a new one for her.
It seemed her secret hobby wasnÆt going to be as easy as it had been. Despite the troubles she was going through at the moment, and for reasons she didnÆt quite grasp at the time, that brought a genuine smile to the foxÆs face.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#65
One eror stuck out for me:

mixed mixed reactions.
Repeated word.


My only other immeidate thought is for now, I am assuming that it is still Keitaro and others *believing* she is a lesbian, as I've yet to see her think or confirm it.

The only problem *that* brings into play though, is why Kitsune is taking it so calmly and in stride that Keitaro is harder to influence.

I'm a bit saddened, yet find it understandable, on the way Keitaro is sounding a bit bitter over the situation. After all, not only is there what he mentioned, but there is the fact to his way of thinking, he himself hd been used and abused by this girl and her flauting her sexuality at him since he got there.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#66
I don't see the bitterness, maybe I missed something? In any case, from the way the majority of the people think I'd say it won't be too long before Kitsune makes it up to him.
 

division-six

Well-Known Member
#67
You must snippet, snippet good.

***

ôTypical.ö Kitsune muttered to herself as she slumped onto the couch next to Keitaro.

The ronin was still a bit baffled by his surroundings. After hearing Kitsune describe her parents on the way over he had expected something lessànormal looking. It could have been worse though, and his seat was actually quite comfortable; something he couldnÆt exactly say for his friend.

ôThey call me all the way out here, and theyÆre not even in the same city anymore.ö The look of annoyance slowly shifted into a grin as she continued. ôMaybe they wanted to give the newlyweds some time alone together?ö

Keitaro stiffened as she rested her head on his shoulder. Ever since the train she couldnÆt go twenty minutes without spouting out another double entendre or æaccidentallyÆ rubbing herself on him. To be fair, it wasnÆt anything she hadnÆt done to him over the months they had known each other, but at least back then she would at least wait a while between her attempts to bombard him with insincere come-ons.

The foxÆs arm snaked around his neck after he tried to inch away from her, locking him in place. Her free hand caressed his cheek, forcing him to look her in the eye. KeitaroÆs spine shivered as she looked at him with the same calculating gaze as yesterday.

ôNothing.ö She hissed after a long silence. ôI donÆt get it, donÆt I do anything for you anymore?ö As she released her grip on the ronin, her eyes opened wide in frustration.

ôItÆs not like that.ö Keitaro tried to console her. What was going on? ôKitsune, you donÆt have to hide it anymore.ö

ôHide what?ö Kitsune was deadpan.

ôWe all figured it out last night after I spoke to you.ö Keitaro continued his explination undaunted.

ôFigured what out?ö

ôThat youàprefer women.ö The effects of her words were immediate. The foxÆs mouth was agape as she tried to form words.

ôAre you all right?ö

ôDamn it, not again!ö she screeched as she tugged at her hair in frustration. ôFirst my parents, now you guys; why does everyone think IÆm a lesbian?ö That was not the reaction he was expecting. Was she in denial?

ôKitsune, if you just explain things to them, IÆm certain we can get your parents to understand.ö

ôNo, itÆs not okay! ThisÆs why I couldnÆt stay here! My parents kept trying to set me up!ö

ôListen, well explain things to them. TheyÆll understand eventually and you wonÆt have to go to these anymore.ö

ôNo, you donÆt get it! Would you listen?ö She shouted Keitaro down, silencing any attempts by the ronin to speak.

ô IÆm not a lesbian, I like guys. Are you with me so far?ö

Keitaro nodded silently, only vaguely believing the words coming from her mouth.

ôMy folks think I donÆt, right?ö

The ronin nodded again.

ôI had to leave, because they started trying to set me up with women! Are you still with me?ö

Keitaro shook his head.

***

This is about as far as my planning went. I'm probably going to have to go back and flesh out some earlier segments though as I try to figure out how to take it from here.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#68
ôI had to leave, because they started trying to set me up with women! Are you still with me?ö
Now that was a twist I was not expecting. I figured they would be guys, as the parents would want to be able to deny or not deal with the possibility.

Glad to have seen this updated.
 

alansg

Well-Known Member
#69
ôI had to leave, because they started trying to set me up with women! Are you still with me?ö
... you lost me. [/Shirou]

Well, my guess about Kitsune's parents was correct, but this, I didn't see that coming.

Great update.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#70
That was one idea that never crossed my mind. And I suddenly had a horrible image of what would happen if the Hina girls decided to follow the two, and ended up accidentally married to Kitsune.
 
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