For the sake of accuracy, I checked Wikipedia's definition for Crack!fic, and after reading it carefully, I'm honestly not sure if what I'm about to write is a Crack!fic or not. Wikipedia describes a Crack!fic as being random, nonsensical, with characters acting OOC. I honestly don't think this is any of that.. Well, I guess I'll post it and you guys can tell me if it's a Crack!fic or if I'm stepping on the author's toes when I shouldn't be.
White Lioness
A vignette(Crack!fic?) for Children of the Fox
By JumperPrime
Disclaimer: I am not the writer of Children of the Fox, though I do greatly like what the author has posted so far.
Hiashi Hyuuga had learned through his contacts at ANBU what Dr. Naoko Akagi had done to his daughter and he was not a happy man. That mad doctor had secretly impregneated Hinata without her knowledge. That act alone would have called for her death by painful means, to violate a Hyuuga, ANY Hyuuga like that... It made his blood boil. If Akagi were not locked in an S-class cell deep in the bowels of ANBU headquarters she would already be dead. But that wasn't enough for that madwoman, no, the source of the sperm used to impregnate Hinata belonged to that DEMON Naruto Uzumaki. That woman had INFECTED his daughter with foul demonspawn! The fetus would have to be aborted immediately, but knowing Hinata's infatuation with the demon brat, there was no way she would agree to an abortion. Fortunately, there was another way that did not require Hinata's permission, or even the intervention of a medical professional. A precisely aimed Gentle Fist strike would kill the fetus, resulting in a miscarriage. Fortunately, the fetus was just developed enough for the technique to be effective. The Hokage did not yet know that Hiashi knew, so he had a short interval to act and appear innocent. If it was noticed as anything at all other than natural causes, it would be chalked up to an accident during sparring.
The plan was elegant in its simplicity. Upon her return to the family compound from the Hokage Tower, Hinata would be met by a number of Branch Family members who would inform her that Hiashi had ordered that she participate in a multi-opponent unarmed combat drill. He sprung these occasionally on both Hinata and Hanabi, as well as Neji as a means of keeping them sharp and challenging their skills to make them improve... Well, it kept Hanabi and Neji sharp. Hinata usually just got pummeled. This time, however, the specially selected Branch Family members who would be conducting the drill had been given secret orders to deliver the "Womb Crusher" strike to Hinata during the drill. Whether she wanted it or not, Hinata's demon baby would be aborted and there would be no stain on the Hyuuga bloodline from the Uzumaki brat's demon blood.
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Hiashi returned home from the council meeting confident that the problem had been taken care of. Hinata would be free of the demonspawn and no one would be able to point any fingers at the Head of the Hyuuga clan. As he arrived home, Hiashi found the house strangely quiet. He found Branch family members laid out on the floor.
"BYAKUGAN!" Hiashi immediately activated his Bloodline Limt
The walls turned transparent to his sight and he quickly located his daughters. Hanabi was upstairs, apparently studying a scroll and Hinata was in the kitchen... fixing herself a snack? While family members were knocked out on the floor?
"No intruders..." Hiashi thought to himself "But then what happened here? If they were driven off, then why was no message sent to inform me of the attack, and if not, then did it mean they were here for something other than my daughters? If it was the former, someone is going to have the mother of all headaches for quite some time, and if it is the latter, their true goal will have to be divined as soon as possible."
As Hiashi was taking stock of the items in his field of view, Hinata walked into the room, carrying a dish containing pickles, ice cream, and strawberries. Hiashi noticed that her Byakugan was active, adding to his already significant puzzlement.
"Hinata, what happened here?" Hiashi asked his daughter
"They wanted to hurt my baby, father," Hinata answered in a matter of fact tone. "I convinced them that such a course of action was... unwise."
Hinata then walked out of the room, heading in the direction of her bedroom as her father wore an expression not unlike that of a goldfish.
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And the moral of the story is: Never threaten a kunoichi's baby unless you want to get your butt kicked
h43r: