Harry Potter "Gifts of the Phoenix" (first section)
- Thread starter nuclear death frog
- Start date
Hu ? They are here. Unless I have no idea what paragraphs break are. Or he put them when he edited.
Either way, I'm biased, I like things with Harry & Phoenix in it. Yours fall into that pit. I like it. No idea what you intend to do with it but ...
I guess the horcrux in his head was destroyed, no idea why or how ? Fawkes or another phoenix went to help him or something at his bed it seems ... I'll wait for more for a decisive opinion.
Either way, I'm biased, I like things with Harry & Phoenix in it. Yours fall into that pit. I like it. No idea what you intend to do with it but ...
I guess the horcrux in his head was destroyed, no idea why or how ? Fawkes or another phoenix went to help him or something at his bed it seems ... I'll wait for more for a decisive opinion.
1. What happens to Hedwig? She was kinda important in that in the end, she ended up sacrificing herself to save Harry in book 7?
2. The writing and personality of Harry seem detached. Is this intentional?
3. Thanks for putting in line breaks. This was much easier to read.
4. You can't really expose a magical creature such a phoenix to muggles. That would break the statue or secrecy. How will it be transported off the train? I assume it's still hanging around Harry.
5. Why does Harry seem to distance himself from people in here. You mention that his previous confrontations with Snape don't seem to matter as much anymore. If that's the case, then what does matter? In the book, Harry validates his existence through his interactions with people, and the relationships he has with him, even if it isn't stated outright.
Besides that, you have a decent start.
2. The writing and personality of Harry seem detached. Is this intentional?
3. Thanks for putting in line breaks. This was much easier to read.
4. You can't really expose a magical creature such a phoenix to muggles. That would break the statue or secrecy. How will it be transported off the train? I assume it's still hanging around Harry.
5. Why does Harry seem to distance himself from people in here. You mention that his previous confrontations with Snape don't seem to matter as much anymore. If that's the case, then what does matter? In the book, Harry validates his existence through his interactions with people, and the relationships he has with him, even if it isn't stated outright.
Besides that, you have a decent start.
Nothing's happened to Hedwig at all; Harry just didn't send a letter here so she wasn't mentioned.
I'm not too good at writing people interacting with each other, or at least I've never thought so, so I kind of made that seem detached on purpose. The interaction in the first section was largely from the book itself. I did write that Harry can still laugh with his friends, it's only Snape's hatred, and the whispers of people he barely knows, that he doesn't consider important anymore.
As for the phoenix, yeah, it'll be with Harry pretty much always, but he doesn't have to actually SAY that's what it is. I'm debating whether he says it's an "oddly-coloured parrot" or something like that. The vast majority of Muggles don't believe phoenixes or any other magical thing exist, and are conditioned to ignore magic, so its presence may go unremarked on -- most people would probably just think it is an exotic bird. It's only deeply horrible non-magical people like the Dursley adults who are not only aware of magic but actively watching out for its presence because they are so tremendously grotesque, that would take offense to a phoenix. In my honest opinion Vernon and Petunia (and Marge) are monsters wearing human skin, and I will never disguise that.
I'm not too good at writing people interacting with each other, or at least I've never thought so, so I kind of made that seem detached on purpose. The interaction in the first section was largely from the book itself. I did write that Harry can still laugh with his friends, it's only Snape's hatred, and the whispers of people he barely knows, that he doesn't consider important anymore.
As for the phoenix, yeah, it'll be with Harry pretty much always, but he doesn't have to actually SAY that's what it is. I'm debating whether he says it's an "oddly-coloured parrot" or something like that. The vast majority of Muggles don't believe phoenixes or any other magical thing exist, and are conditioned to ignore magic, so its presence may go unremarked on -- most people would probably just think it is an exotic bird. It's only deeply horrible non-magical people like the Dursley adults who are not only aware of magic but actively watching out for its presence because they are so tremendously grotesque, that would take offense to a phoenix. In my honest opinion Vernon and Petunia (and Marge) are monsters wearing human skin, and I will never disguise that.
I'm more along the lines of "How could you replace HEDWIG?!" Who needs a flaming turkey when you have wonder owl?
I'm reminded of the lemony fic "Harry Potter and the White Owl" where Hedwig gets transformed into a humanoid.
I haven't seen ANYONE else do anything even remotely similar since.
In Book 7, Hedwig looked to have purposefully placed herself in the death curses line of Fire to protect Harry.
I'm reminded of the lemony fic "Harry Potter and the White Owl" where Hedwig gets transformed into a humanoid.
I haven't seen ANYONE else do anything even remotely similar since.
In Book 7, Hedwig looked to have purposefully placed herself in the death curses line of Fire to protect Harry.
You said it, I saw no point in this (well, I have an inkling, but I will keep it to myself). And I would have liked to see a mention of the Phoenix just perched somewhere watching him doing nothing ^_^ but eh ...
I just hope that the Phoenix won't fall in the background. It's fucking OP to have a phoenix, it can't be a simple "Oh cool I have a phoenix". It has to be fucking awesome ! I have great hopes for you !
I just hope that the Phoenix won't fall in the background. It's fucking OP to have a phoenix, it can't be a simple "Oh cool I have a phoenix". It has to be fucking awesome ! I have great hopes for you !
Hmm ... because it's been a long times since I've read HBP ... I don't remember what exactly happened when Dumbledore went to fetch Harry but ...
Phoenix<=>Harry stuff was interesting. The Phoenix is awesome 'cause he's weird staring at Harry like that and then firing out of the house, maybe knowing where they'll go, and Harry just feeling it ... Liked it.
So, there is kind of a connection already hmm ...
Phoenix<=>Harry stuff was interesting. The Phoenix is awesome 'cause he's weird staring at Harry like that and then firing out of the house, maybe knowing where they'll go, and Harry just feeling it ... Liked it.
So, there is kind of a connection already hmm ...
Still true I guess, I don't remember the books that well.
Not much to say apart from a stray thought ... "His" (is a phoenix owned, or simply a companion ?) phoenix flashed away before him, but appeared after they arrived ... where did he go in the meantime, to what purpose, when they seem to like lazying around ?
Not much to say apart from a stray thought ... "His" (is a phoenix owned, or simply a companion ?) phoenix flashed away before him, but appeared after they arrived ... where did he go in the meantime, to what purpose, when they seem to like lazying around ?
