Nothing's happened to Hedwig at all; Harry just didn't send a letter here so she wasn't mentioned.
I'm not too good at writing people interacting with each other, or at least I've never thought so, so I kind of made that seem detached on purpose. The interaction in the first section was largely from the book itself. I did write that Harry can still laugh with his friends, it's only Snape's hatred, and the whispers of people he barely knows, that he doesn't consider important anymore.
As for the phoenix, yeah, it'll be with Harry pretty much always, but he doesn't have to actually SAY that's what it is. I'm debating whether he says it's an "oddly-coloured parrot" or something like that. The vast majority of Muggles don't believe phoenixes or any other magical thing exist, and are conditioned to ignore magic, so its presence may go unremarked on -- most people would probably just think it is an exotic bird. It's only deeply horrible non-magical people like the Dursley adults who are not only aware of magic but actively watching out for its presence because they are so tremendously grotesque, that would take offense to a phoenix. In my honest opinion Vernon and Petunia (and Marge) are monsters wearing human skin, and I will never disguise that.