Ranma ½ Had to be said
- Thread starter Innortal
- Start date
ôI wouldnÆt go in there, Daniel.ö
The historic scholar of SG-1 paused, hand raised to knock on the door of Samantha CarterÆs office, his head turning to spot his commander, sitting in a nearby chair. ôJack.ö
ôTrust me, SamÆs in a à mood.ö
ôMood?ö
ôMood,ö said Jack, nodding sagely.
ôWhat kind of mood?ö asked Daniel.
ôThe kind started by watching Ranma do something that sends her ranting about æbreaking the laws of the universeÆ kind of mood.ö
ôOh,ö shuddered Daniel, quickly lowering his hand, taking two steps back, and sliding away from the door towards Jack. ôHow bad?ö
ôWell, remember when he told Carter about how the Nox claimed he could recharge Ancient technology?ö
ôBecause entropy is the ultimate order and his aura is primarily chaos, so it negates theùö
ôThatÆs the one,ö said Jack, stopping his teammate before he went on a rant himself. God knew it gave him a headache the first time he heard it, and that was after that stupid thing of P3R-272 gave him all that Ancient data.
Still was funny as hell when it did the same to Ranma because Saotome had somehow æcharged itÆ up enough to do a second download. Problem was when it started affecting RanmaÆs mind, he started to act more cat-like and call the Asgard ælittle mousiesÆ.
Curiousà
ôAnyway,ö he continued, ôthis is much worse.ö
ôWhat did he do?ö asked Daniel.
ôDonÆt know, donÆt wanna know,ö said Jack.
ôHow come?ö
ôRemember how Carter was like when we all saw Ranma literally catch a Death Glider in mid-flight and hurl it at a nearby mothership?ö
ôà I hear they have cherry pie in the cafeteria today.ö
ôPie is good,ö said Jack as he stood up.
The historic scholar of SG-1 paused, hand raised to knock on the door of Samantha CarterÆs office, his head turning to spot his commander, sitting in a nearby chair. ôJack.ö
ôTrust me, SamÆs in a à mood.ö
ôMood?ö
ôMood,ö said Jack, nodding sagely.
ôWhat kind of mood?ö asked Daniel.
ôThe kind started by watching Ranma do something that sends her ranting about æbreaking the laws of the universeÆ kind of mood.ö
ôOh,ö shuddered Daniel, quickly lowering his hand, taking two steps back, and sliding away from the door towards Jack. ôHow bad?ö
ôWell, remember when he told Carter about how the Nox claimed he could recharge Ancient technology?ö
ôBecause entropy is the ultimate order and his aura is primarily chaos, so it negates theùö
ôThatÆs the one,ö said Jack, stopping his teammate before he went on a rant himself. God knew it gave him a headache the first time he heard it, and that was after that stupid thing of P3R-272 gave him all that Ancient data.
Still was funny as hell when it did the same to Ranma because Saotome had somehow æcharged itÆ up enough to do a second download. Problem was when it started affecting RanmaÆs mind, he started to act more cat-like and call the Asgard ælittle mousiesÆ.
Curiousà
ôAnyway,ö he continued, ôthis is much worse.ö
ôWhat did he do?ö asked Daniel.
ôDonÆt know, donÆt wanna know,ö said Jack.
ôHow come?ö
ôRemember how Carter was like when we all saw Ranma literally catch a Death Glider in mid-flight and hurl it at a nearby mothership?ö
ôà I hear they have cherry pie in the cafeteria today.ö
ôPie is good,ö said Jack as he stood up.
A little more, inspired by Raa.
Janet pulled on her gloves and picked up a penlight from the medical tray. "If you'd be so kind as to remove your clothes, Mister Saotome, I'd like to give you a thorough physical."
Ranma raised an eyebrow, an action that was lost on the petite doctor as she had her back to him, then shrugged and did as requested.
Janet had picked up his chart and was studying it as she turned around. "This won't take long, and as soon as I'm finished, you can get out of here, provided everything's all- OH MY GOD!"
She immediately blushed bright red, mortified by her unprofessional outburst. "I- ah- uhm," she stammered, trying to get over the striking picture the naked young man in front of her made. "I didn't mean you should get naked," she squeaked, finding it difficult to regain at least some sense of professionalism.
Janet had never seen any man with such a well defined physique and found herself with the sudden urge to give all those muscles a squeeze, just to see if they were as hard as they looked.
'Get a grip, girl!' she scolded herself, but found her eyes being drawn to her naked patient again. Despite her best efforts, she failed to regain her detached professional air again and quickly came to the conclusion that she needed to be alone to gather her wits.
"I forgot something in my office!" she said and fled the infirmary to regain some of her bearings, making a mental note to get a copy of the security tape.
As soon as she had closed the door behind her Janet sank to the floor, taking in deep calming breaths to get her rapid heart beat back under control.
She couldn't believe the way she had acted! That had been no way for an officer in the United States Air Force to react, and especially not a doctor! She should be able to remain collected and professional, no matter the circumstances, yet she had behaved like a pregnant woman in her second trimester. She hoped Mister Saotome wouldn't file a complaint with Hammond; she knew her embarrassment would reach terminal levels if he did that.
It took her a few minutes, but she had managed to collect herself again. Lots of thoughts about Hammond dressed in stockings and a mini skirt had done a marvellous job of cooling her out of control libido.
With one final deep breath, she opened the door to her office and stepped into the infirmary, only to freeze as soon as she saw her patient.
He was still as gloriously naked as he had been earlier, but now he was lounging on one of the beds and whistling a happy tune.
"I can do this," she muttered, then she steeled herself and approached the young man.
---------------
'Well, this is awkward,' thought Ranma.
Five minutes into the examination the doctor hadn't once looked Ranma in the eyes, except for when she had almost blinded him with her flash light to test his pupil reflexes. She was also extremely jittery, dropping her mouth swabs and fumbling with her stethoscope, and it became obvious even to Ranma that the doctor was uneasy around him. So he decided to get her to relax.
What was it his father had once told him? Every woman likes getting compliments, especially about their looks?
"I like your haircut, it makes you look five years younger than your forty years," he said, giving her what he considered to be his most charming smile. It had won him the heart of many an alien woman.
Dr Fraiser gritted her teeth. "I'm 32."
"Oh." All right, so maybe he should just shut up.
The examination continued in uneasy silence, occasionally broken by Fraiser's brief orders. Ranma lost his patience after another few minutes and decided to try complimenting the SGC this time.
ôYou know,ö he said, making sure to keep his tone light and friendly, ôit's really impressive how well you've managed to hold out against the goa'uld, considering just how ineffective your equipment and strategies are.ö
ôReally,ö Janet said, her voice sounding strained as she made some notations in his chart.
ôOh yeah,ö Ranma continued, happy that he hadn't offended her again. ôThose guys I ran into on Apophis' ships? They had no idea what they were doing or what they were up against. It's a wonder they managed to survive. But I guess that just proves that you can kick some goa'uld ass even if you're not as good as me, huh?ö
ôOf course,ö Dr Fraiser said, her tone getting more hostile.
Ranma failed to notice the doctor's mood and went on. ôI guess I shouldn't complain too much, though. It's better than fighting them alone. And getting a real doctor to check me out is nice, too. I don't even care that your methods and instruments are really primiti-OW!ö He yelped as the buxom woman interrupted his rant by ramming a really big needle into his hip. ôWhat was that for?ö
Janet shot him a wide smile. ôWe're finished.ö As she gathered her stuff and left the infirmary, Ranma thought he heard her mutter something about all hot guys being conceited assholes.
Janet pulled on her gloves and picked up a penlight from the medical tray. "If you'd be so kind as to remove your clothes, Mister Saotome, I'd like to give you a thorough physical."
Ranma raised an eyebrow, an action that was lost on the petite doctor as she had her back to him, then shrugged and did as requested.
Janet had picked up his chart and was studying it as she turned around. "This won't take long, and as soon as I'm finished, you can get out of here, provided everything's all- OH MY GOD!"
She immediately blushed bright red, mortified by her unprofessional outburst. "I- ah- uhm," she stammered, trying to get over the striking picture the naked young man in front of her made. "I didn't mean you should get naked," she squeaked, finding it difficult to regain at least some sense of professionalism.
Janet had never seen any man with such a well defined physique and found herself with the sudden urge to give all those muscles a squeeze, just to see if they were as hard as they looked.
'Get a grip, girl!' she scolded herself, but found her eyes being drawn to her naked patient again. Despite her best efforts, she failed to regain her detached professional air again and quickly came to the conclusion that she needed to be alone to gather her wits.
"I forgot something in my office!" she said and fled the infirmary to regain some of her bearings, making a mental note to get a copy of the security tape.
As soon as she had closed the door behind her Janet sank to the floor, taking in deep calming breaths to get her rapid heart beat back under control.
She couldn't believe the way she had acted! That had been no way for an officer in the United States Air Force to react, and especially not a doctor! She should be able to remain collected and professional, no matter the circumstances, yet she had behaved like a pregnant woman in her second trimester. She hoped Mister Saotome wouldn't file a complaint with Hammond; she knew her embarrassment would reach terminal levels if he did that.
It took her a few minutes, but she had managed to collect herself again. Lots of thoughts about Hammond dressed in stockings and a mini skirt had done a marvellous job of cooling her out of control libido.
With one final deep breath, she opened the door to her office and stepped into the infirmary, only to freeze as soon as she saw her patient.
He was still as gloriously naked as he had been earlier, but now he was lounging on one of the beds and whistling a happy tune.
"I can do this," she muttered, then she steeled herself and approached the young man.
---------------
'Well, this is awkward,' thought Ranma.
Five minutes into the examination the doctor hadn't once looked Ranma in the eyes, except for when she had almost blinded him with her flash light to test his pupil reflexes. She was also extremely jittery, dropping her mouth swabs and fumbling with her stethoscope, and it became obvious even to Ranma that the doctor was uneasy around him. So he decided to get her to relax.
What was it his father had once told him? Every woman likes getting compliments, especially about their looks?
"I like your haircut, it makes you look five years younger than your forty years," he said, giving her what he considered to be his most charming smile. It had won him the heart of many an alien woman.
Dr Fraiser gritted her teeth. "I'm 32."
"Oh." All right, so maybe he should just shut up.
The examination continued in uneasy silence, occasionally broken by Fraiser's brief orders. Ranma lost his patience after another few minutes and decided to try complimenting the SGC this time.
ôYou know,ö he said, making sure to keep his tone light and friendly, ôit's really impressive how well you've managed to hold out against the goa'uld, considering just how ineffective your equipment and strategies are.ö
ôReally,ö Janet said, her voice sounding strained as she made some notations in his chart.
ôOh yeah,ö Ranma continued, happy that he hadn't offended her again. ôThose guys I ran into on Apophis' ships? They had no idea what they were doing or what they were up against. It's a wonder they managed to survive. But I guess that just proves that you can kick some goa'uld ass even if you're not as good as me, huh?ö
ôOf course,ö Dr Fraiser said, her tone getting more hostile.
Ranma failed to notice the doctor's mood and went on. ôI guess I shouldn't complain too much, though. It's better than fighting them alone. And getting a real doctor to check me out is nice, too. I don't even care that your methods and instruments are really primiti-OW!ö He yelped as the buxom woman interrupted his rant by ramming a really big needle into his hip. ôWhat was that for?ö
Janet shot him a wide smile. ôWe're finished.ö As she gathered her stuff and left the infirmary, Ranma thought he heard her mutter something about all hot guys being conceited assholes.
Innortal just inspired me on msn:
----------
SG-1's briefing was interrupted as an empty chair was enveloped in a bright light. When it was gone, a small grey alien with spindly limbs and a disproportionately big head was sitting in the chair.
"Greetings," the alien said.
"YOU!" Ranma screamed before he jumped across the table and started strangling the alien. "I remember you, you fucking pervert! I'm gonna kill you!"
It took the combined strength of SG-1 to drag Ranma away from the alien, who had turned a distinct shade of blue.
"Ranma!" O'Neill yelled. "Calm down! What's the matter with you!"
"Let me go! I'm gonna kill him! That freaky little pervert beamed me up to his ship one night and did disgusting things to my girl side!"
O'Neill's grip slackened slightly as he shot the alien a disbelieving look. "Thor? Nah, he wouldn't do that."
"You are correct, O'Neill," Thor said. "But I am afraid Ranma is correct as well. We found records of experiments of a rather ... unsavoury manner in one of our scientist's computer logs."
"Loki," Daniel said.
"You are correct."
"Lemme go!" Ranma said as he intensified his struggles. "I'm gonna kill him!"
"No! The Asgard are our allies, Ranma! They help us fight the goa'uld! You have to calm down."
"All right." Ranma seized his struggling, his body growing slack. He held up his hands to indicate that he would stop trying to attack the alien.
"Good." O'Neill let him go, though he kept within grabbing range of the martial artist.
As soon as he had a bit of space, Ranma suddenly shot his palm forward. A bright blue ball of energy shot forth from it and streaked across the table, impacting Thor head-on and vaporising him on the spot.
Daniel looked at the martial artist with wide disbelieving eyes. ôYou- you killed Thor!ö
ôTch! Pervert had it coming.ö
----------
SG-1's briefing was interrupted as an empty chair was enveloped in a bright light. When it was gone, a small grey alien with spindly limbs and a disproportionately big head was sitting in the chair.
"Greetings," the alien said.
"YOU!" Ranma screamed before he jumped across the table and started strangling the alien. "I remember you, you fucking pervert! I'm gonna kill you!"
It took the combined strength of SG-1 to drag Ranma away from the alien, who had turned a distinct shade of blue.
"Ranma!" O'Neill yelled. "Calm down! What's the matter with you!"
"Let me go! I'm gonna kill him! That freaky little pervert beamed me up to his ship one night and did disgusting things to my girl side!"
O'Neill's grip slackened slightly as he shot the alien a disbelieving look. "Thor? Nah, he wouldn't do that."
"You are correct, O'Neill," Thor said. "But I am afraid Ranma is correct as well. We found records of experiments of a rather ... unsavoury manner in one of our scientist's computer logs."
"Loki," Daniel said.
"You are correct."
"Lemme go!" Ranma said as he intensified his struggles. "I'm gonna kill him!"
"No! The Asgard are our allies, Ranma! They help us fight the goa'uld! You have to calm down."
"All right." Ranma seized his struggling, his body growing slack. He held up his hands to indicate that he would stop trying to attack the alien.
"Good." O'Neill let him go, though he kept within grabbing range of the martial artist.
As soon as he had a bit of space, Ranma suddenly shot his palm forward. A bright blue ball of energy shot forth from it and streaked across the table, impacting Thor head-on and vaporising him on the spot.
Daniel looked at the martial artist with wide disbelieving eyes. ôYou- you killed Thor!ö
ôTch! Pervert had it coming.ö
Truthfully, I had forgotten all about this thread.
Not necro, but now...
ôOkay,ö stated Jack, as he waved at the kneeling Jaffa, the celebrating villagers, and the confused TokÆra. ôExplanations, now?ö
ôWould you believe this isnÆt my fault?ö asked Ranma.
ôNot on your long-lived life,ö stated Jack.
ôà How about an accident, would you believe that?ö
ôYou æaccidentallyÆ defeated a hundred Jaffa, took over a planet, became their God, and are scheduled tomorrow to marry twoùö
ôThree,ö added Daniel to correct him.
ôWell à threeÆs much better,ö Jack replied, dripping sarcasm. ôHow is this ænot your faultÆ?ö he asked. ôHow is this an accident?ö
ôà Would you believe I got a GoaÆuld in me?ö Ranma asked.
ôNo, I wouldnÆt.ö
ôà How about a rogue symbiote that made me do this?ö
ôà IÆd have to say no,ö replied the leader of SG-1.
ôà IÆm screwed, arenÆt I?ö
ôà Yes,ö replied Jack. ôNow, come along quietly à or IÆll have Carter give you a calculus lesson.ö
ôI SURRENDER!ö yelled Ranma, hands in the air.
Not necro, but now...
ôOkay,ö stated Jack, as he waved at the kneeling Jaffa, the celebrating villagers, and the confused TokÆra. ôExplanations, now?ö
ôWould you believe this isnÆt my fault?ö asked Ranma.
ôNot on your long-lived life,ö stated Jack.
ôà How about an accident, would you believe that?ö
ôYou æaccidentallyÆ defeated a hundred Jaffa, took over a planet, became their God, and are scheduled tomorrow to marry twoùö
ôThree,ö added Daniel to correct him.
ôWell à threeÆs much better,ö Jack replied, dripping sarcasm. ôHow is this ænot your faultÆ?ö he asked. ôHow is this an accident?ö
ôà Would you believe I got a GoaÆuld in me?ö Ranma asked.
ôNo, I wouldnÆt.ö
ôà How about a rogue symbiote that made me do this?ö
ôà IÆd have to say no,ö replied the leader of SG-1.
ôà IÆm screwed, arenÆt I?ö
ôà Yes,ö replied Jack. ôNow, come along quietly à or IÆll have Carter give you a calculus lesson.ö
ôI SURRENDER!ö yelled Ranma, hands in the air.
The president eyed the eyes only document carefully, "You know Major, I haven't gotten as far as I have by falling for a joke like this. You almost had me going there but you kept mixing up Mr. Saotome's gender. Nice try."
"Sir I assure you this is not a work of fiction." Major Davis handed him a pen, "Now if you will sign the clearance and disclosure documents. We can continue."
The president looked over the standardized forms and rolled his eyes. What could it harm he was basically agreeing not to disclose a work of fiction, "I'm sure you have a nice pay out waiting for you with the boys." He signed the documents with a laugh.
Major Davis stood up from his chair and walked over to the side door, "The president is ready to see you now General Hammond."
"Ah, George, they bring you out of retirement to add a bit of special effects to the joke." Henry walked over to his old friend and shook his hand, "So what are you going to be briefing me on. The flavor of moon cheese?"
General Hammond smiled and returned the greeting, "No, nothing so humorous. Unfortunately I haven't been retired for years. There is one other that should be joining us."
A medium height dark haired man in an obviously new suit came through the door followed by a staffer carrying a tray full of ice water and fruit. The man was distracted by something causing him to abruptly stop for little more than a second. The staffer tumbled into the man soaking him with the pitcher of water.
The president watched with a bit of concern. Mostly because he was hungry and wanted that orange sitting just on the edge of the tray. The distraction caused him to only see it out of the corner of his eye, the man shifted just a bit. The hair color changed he seemed shorter.
An unmistakeably female voice bemoaned, "Every damn time I go some place nice." She was already cinching the belt tighter as she pulled up her pants.
She glared at the general, "So we going to get on with this or not?"
The president looked over at the now red headed woman then back at his long time friend, "Those weren't typos were they."
The general rubbed his forehead, "Unfortunately we are required by law to give you the unabridged truth of the matter."
Ranma walked across the room and seated her self in a very casual and unladylike manor on the couch, "So, you're the president?"
The older man just nodded and starred, "Yes, Henry Hayes, and you are Mrs?"
"I ain't no lady, I'm Mr. Ranma Saotome." He said with a casual annoyance, "I supposedly have some special title they pay me as. I can't ever remember it."
The president again just nodded. He had a sinking feeling that this was going to be a long meeting.
"Sir I assure you this is not a work of fiction." Major Davis handed him a pen, "Now if you will sign the clearance and disclosure documents. We can continue."
The president looked over the standardized forms and rolled his eyes. What could it harm he was basically agreeing not to disclose a work of fiction, "I'm sure you have a nice pay out waiting for you with the boys." He signed the documents with a laugh.
Major Davis stood up from his chair and walked over to the side door, "The president is ready to see you now General Hammond."
"Ah, George, they bring you out of retirement to add a bit of special effects to the joke." Henry walked over to his old friend and shook his hand, "So what are you going to be briefing me on. The flavor of moon cheese?"
General Hammond smiled and returned the greeting, "No, nothing so humorous. Unfortunately I haven't been retired for years. There is one other that should be joining us."
A medium height dark haired man in an obviously new suit came through the door followed by a staffer carrying a tray full of ice water and fruit. The man was distracted by something causing him to abruptly stop for little more than a second. The staffer tumbled into the man soaking him with the pitcher of water.
The president watched with a bit of concern. Mostly because he was hungry and wanted that orange sitting just on the edge of the tray. The distraction caused him to only see it out of the corner of his eye, the man shifted just a bit. The hair color changed he seemed shorter.
An unmistakeably female voice bemoaned, "Every damn time I go some place nice." She was already cinching the belt tighter as she pulled up her pants.
She glared at the general, "So we going to get on with this or not?"
The president looked over at the now red headed woman then back at his long time friend, "Those weren't typos were they."
The general rubbed his forehead, "Unfortunately we are required by law to give you the unabridged truth of the matter."
Ranma walked across the room and seated her self in a very casual and unladylike manor on the couch, "So, you're the president?"
The older man just nodded and starred, "Yes, Henry Hayes, and you are Mrs?"
"I ain't no lady, I'm Mr. Ranma Saotome." He said with a casual annoyance, "I supposedly have some special title they pay me as. I can't ever remember it."
The president again just nodded. He had a sinking feeling that this was going to be a long meeting.
There was a character in Dale Brown's book Day of the Cheetah, a test pilot that was a natural born, someone with instinctive sense on how to fly. In flight school the pilot could things with aircraft in flight that would make his instructors cringe, and every time an instructor would see that he had to fly with this pilot that day they would mutter, either cursing or praying, 'Jesus Christ'. Eventually this was reduced to 'JC' and became his nickname. 
Point being, Ranma could get a similar nickname, either JC, or OG (Gh Gawd), or even GD (Gawd Dammit).
Point being, Ranma could get a similar nickname, either JC, or OG (Gh Gawd), or even GD (Gawd Dammit).
Ranma joined his team in the briefing room. ôAnybody have an idea why we're here? I thought we were on down time.ö
Jack shrugged. ôBeats me. This better be important though. I was just to head up to my cabin for some nice relaxing fishing.ö
The others also said that they had no clue why they had been recalled to the SGC, and the group settled in to wait for General Hammond, passing the time with their normal banter.
The general joined them only a few minutes later. ôAt ease,ö he said as he took his seat at the head of the table. He took one look around to gather everyone's attention before he spoke. ôWe have just received a transmission from the Tok'ra.ö
ôOh great,ö O'Neill said. ôWhat do they want now? Help for some other infiltration mission so they can bail with the top secret info and leave us behind just when things get hot? I say we just ignore them and let them save their own little snaky asses for once.ö
ôSir,ö Carter said in a tone that was somewhere between reprimand and agreement.
Jack snorted. ôCome on, you know I'm right!ö
ôI assure you, they want nothing like that,ö Hammond said. ôApparently, a minor goa'uld by the name of Melia contacted the Tok'ra a few days ago, offering them a bargain.ö
ôA goa'uld, offering a bargain?ö Jack asked incredulously. ôWhy haven't they shot her yet? Even as dense and unreliable as they are, they should know that goa'uld can't be trusted.ö
Hammond ignored his 2IC. ôShe offered them extensive information about Apophis.ö
Daniel quickly spoke up, cutting Jack off before he could make another snide remark. ôWhat kind of information are we talking here?ö
ôShe said she could provide them with detailed information about the extent of his military force on every planet and moon under his domain. She also said that she knew of several minor ship yards that with barely existent defences. If her information proves to be correct, the Tok'ra stand to capture three goa'uld mother ships and a dozen shuttles.ö
ôAnd they want us to help them steal those ships.ö Jack rolled his eyes. ôCome on, general! You can't be seriously considering this. How many times are we going to let those snake heads stab us in the back?ö
ôJack, I know how you feel about the Tok'ra and I admit that they haven't been the most trustworthy allies in the past,ö Hammond said, to which Jack snorted in response, ôbut they're offering full cooperation this time. They're even offering their help in trying to reverse engineer the technology.ö
ôWow,ö Sam piped up. ôWith help from the Tok'ra we should be able to make great progress! We might even be able to build our own hyper drive. This is a great opportunity.ö
ôI agree,ö Hammond said.
Jack snorted. ôPlease. I don't trust them. I bet they're just going to bail as soon as they get their hands on those ships.ö
ôUhm,ö Ranma said, ôwhy don't we just stab them in the back for once? We agree to help them, and as soon as we have control of a mothership we go home.ö
ôI knew there was a reason why I liked you,ö Jack said.
Sam frowned. ôWe can't. Even if we did get our hands on a mothership, we wouldn't know what to do with it! We need help if we hope to reverse engineer their technology.ö
ôThere is also one other thing,ö Hammond said, shooting a glance at Ranma.
Rolling his eyes, Jack slumped in his seat. ôOh, here we go.ö
Hammond cleared his throat. ôIt seems that this Melia has grown rather fond of Ranma. She asks to spend some time with him in exchange for the information she can provide.ö
The briefing room grew deathly quiet. All eyes turned towards Ranma, who had suddenly turned rather green.
ôI don't believe it,ö Daniel muttered. ôNow he's even seducing goa'uld.ö
ôHey!ö Ranma protested. ôI didn't do anything!ö
ôOh, fer cryin' out loud!ö
Jack shrugged. ôBeats me. This better be important though. I was just to head up to my cabin for some nice relaxing fishing.ö
The others also said that they had no clue why they had been recalled to the SGC, and the group settled in to wait for General Hammond, passing the time with their normal banter.
The general joined them only a few minutes later. ôAt ease,ö he said as he took his seat at the head of the table. He took one look around to gather everyone's attention before he spoke. ôWe have just received a transmission from the Tok'ra.ö
ôOh great,ö O'Neill said. ôWhat do they want now? Help for some other infiltration mission so they can bail with the top secret info and leave us behind just when things get hot? I say we just ignore them and let them save their own little snaky asses for once.ö
ôSir,ö Carter said in a tone that was somewhere between reprimand and agreement.
Jack snorted. ôCome on, you know I'm right!ö
ôI assure you, they want nothing like that,ö Hammond said. ôApparently, a minor goa'uld by the name of Melia contacted the Tok'ra a few days ago, offering them a bargain.ö
ôA goa'uld, offering a bargain?ö Jack asked incredulously. ôWhy haven't they shot her yet? Even as dense and unreliable as they are, they should know that goa'uld can't be trusted.ö
Hammond ignored his 2IC. ôShe offered them extensive information about Apophis.ö
Daniel quickly spoke up, cutting Jack off before he could make another snide remark. ôWhat kind of information are we talking here?ö
ôShe said she could provide them with detailed information about the extent of his military force on every planet and moon under his domain. She also said that she knew of several minor ship yards that with barely existent defences. If her information proves to be correct, the Tok'ra stand to capture three goa'uld mother ships and a dozen shuttles.ö
ôAnd they want us to help them steal those ships.ö Jack rolled his eyes. ôCome on, general! You can't be seriously considering this. How many times are we going to let those snake heads stab us in the back?ö
ôJack, I know how you feel about the Tok'ra and I admit that they haven't been the most trustworthy allies in the past,ö Hammond said, to which Jack snorted in response, ôbut they're offering full cooperation this time. They're even offering their help in trying to reverse engineer the technology.ö
ôWow,ö Sam piped up. ôWith help from the Tok'ra we should be able to make great progress! We might even be able to build our own hyper drive. This is a great opportunity.ö
ôI agree,ö Hammond said.
Jack snorted. ôPlease. I don't trust them. I bet they're just going to bail as soon as they get their hands on those ships.ö
ôUhm,ö Ranma said, ôwhy don't we just stab them in the back for once? We agree to help them, and as soon as we have control of a mothership we go home.ö
ôI knew there was a reason why I liked you,ö Jack said.
Sam frowned. ôWe can't. Even if we did get our hands on a mothership, we wouldn't know what to do with it! We need help if we hope to reverse engineer their technology.ö
ôThere is also one other thing,ö Hammond said, shooting a glance at Ranma.
Rolling his eyes, Jack slumped in his seat. ôOh, here we go.ö
Hammond cleared his throat. ôIt seems that this Melia has grown rather fond of Ranma. She asks to spend some time with him in exchange for the information she can provide.ö
The briefing room grew deathly quiet. All eyes turned towards Ranma, who had suddenly turned rather green.
ôI don't believe it,ö Daniel muttered. ôNow he's even seducing goa'uld.ö
ôHey!ö Ranma protested. ôI didn't do anything!ö
ôOh, fer cryin' out loud!ö