inverted helix said:
crazyfoxdemon said:
thezorch said:
With relationships like the Ranma and Sam's, eventually the woman looses it and ends up screwing the guy's brains out.á 
Ranma ½ Had to be said
- Thread starter Innortal
- Start date
With all the advanced tech at Carter's disposal combined with her ability to make new advancements I'm sure she's able to come up with something that'll do the trick.
sworded said:
inverted helix said:
crazyfoxdemon said:
thezorch said:
With relationships like the Ranma and Sam's, eventually the woman looses it and ends up screwing the guy's brains out.á
inverted helix said:
sworded said:
inverted helix said:
crazyfoxdemon said:
thezorch said:
With relationships like the Ranma and Sam's, eventually the woman looses it and ends up screwing the guy's brains out.á
Hmmm... as funny as those 2 were... I personally felt the tone had changed.
One of the things with the 'Had to be said snippets' was despite Ranmas 'greatness', and despite how the SGC felt about it... he really rarely seemed to actually call himself on it or proclaim it directly like that. Him being the 'straight man', so to speak, when everyone else is in awe of him is the main attractor.
To me... it lost a bit of the appeal due to him doing so in the last couple.
One of the things with the 'Had to be said snippets' was despite Ranmas 'greatness', and despite how the SGC felt about it... he really rarely seemed to actually call himself on it or proclaim it directly like that. Him being the 'straight man', so to speak, when everyone else is in awe of him is the main attractor.
To me... it lost a bit of the appeal due to him doing so in the last couple.
Ranma is not fat, though.
And anyway, I decided to try a different approach to a grown-up Ranma. I thought he might turn into an even more insufferably arrogant man if he grew up and managed to get rid of a few of his insecurities, like his curse.
Though I did exaggerate a wee little bit for comedic effect.
And anyway, I decided to try a different approach to a grown-up Ranma. I thought he might turn into an even more insufferably arrogant man if he grew up and managed to get rid of a few of his insecurities, like his curse.
Though I did exaggerate a wee little bit for comedic effect.
The way I see it, foesjoe's take on Ranma would fit him right after he join up and is still in his "hotshot" phase. He'll grow into his more mature/mild self (Innortal's take) after working with SG1 for some time.
At the beginning, SG1 are just "acquaintance that I must work with", so Ranma is all "I AM THE ALPHA MALE, BITCH !". Later, he end up befriending them to some extent, so while he still arrogant, he is more playful about it rather then trying to cram his superiority down everyones throat.
At the beginning, SG1 are just "acquaintance that I must work with", so Ranma is all "I AM THE ALPHA MALE, BITCH !". Later, he end up befriending them to some extent, so while he still arrogant, he is more playful about it rather then trying to cram his superiority down everyones throat.
I never really thought my offhand comment would cause this much commentary. The snippets were funny, but IMHO not as funny.
@Innortal, your above post may all be true... but a few plot holes open up due to this...
With him like he was in last couple posts, he really never would have made it into the American military, let alone the stargate program.
Since this was meant as a joke snippet thread, obviously none of that is covered, he is there, end of discussion.
But even if all that is true, I still feel it puts readers (well, me at least) off kilter to read him proclaiming his greatness and demanding recognition rather than doing the great, unusual/impossible/insane situations, instead of acting merely arrogant when they come up and just continuing on.
It is the difference between reading a overgrown child seeking attention and forcing an audience (SG1) to verbally agree he is great, and an adult whom knows his abilities, and refrains commenting because he knows he is great leaving on-lookers to gape (SG1).
I just don't feel as good reading Ranma as a 21+ year old child here. Especially with all the other snippets showing him the other way.
@Innortal, your above post may all be true... but a few plot holes open up due to this...
With him like he was in last couple posts, he really never would have made it into the American military, let alone the stargate program.
Since this was meant as a joke snippet thread, obviously none of that is covered, he is there, end of discussion.
But even if all that is true, I still feel it puts readers (well, me at least) off kilter to read him proclaiming his greatness and demanding recognition rather than doing the great, unusual/impossible/insane situations, instead of acting merely arrogant when they come up and just continuing on.
It is the difference between reading a overgrown child seeking attention and forcing an audience (SG1) to verbally agree he is great, and an adult whom knows his abilities, and refrains commenting because he knows he is great leaving on-lookers to gape (SG1).
I just don't feel as good reading Ranma as a 21+ year old child here. Especially with all the other snippets showing him the other way.
Well, the way I see it, none of the snippets are connected, they all stand on their own. So you basically see a different Ranma in every single one. At least most of the time.
I just use this thread to play around a bit and post scenes that pop into my head and might be amusing.
I do have an idea for a Ranma/SG-1 cross, but I'm wary of starting yet another story.
I just use this thread to play around a bit and post scenes that pop into my head and might be amusing.
I do have an idea for a Ranma/SG-1 cross, but I'm wary of starting yet another story.
Necro!
Here's a possible scene from a Ranma/SG-1 crossover story I'm playing around with:
--------------
The infirmary of the SGC was just as boring and dull and colourless as the rest of the complex. The walls were grey, the lighting was artificial and nowhere near bright enough, and the air smelled stale and old.
For Ranma, who had spent his whole life outside, except for when he ate and slept, it was like being imprisoned. He was used to breathing fresh air, feeling the sun on his skin and hearing birds sing. Staying in this underground bunker felt almost like being chained up and buried in concrete.
That's not really true, though, is it, Ranma thought with a smirk. If I were chained up and buried in concrete I could just bust myself out. Here, I'm trapped. At least, until they finally finish that paperwork.
He couldn't even tell what time it was. Living inside this dreary prison of concrete and steel for the last couple of weeks had messed up his internal chronometer to the point where remembering who worked which shift was the only way he could tell whether it was day or night.
He couldn't wait to get out of here. He had to remind himself a dozen times a day that General Hammond had told him that his paperwork was being rushed, they had people looking for a suitable apartment for him, and if all went well, he'd be allowed to leave in just a few more days.
Never had a few days seemed so long to Ranma.
It wouldn't even be so bad if it weren't for the constant physicals he was subjected to. He had basically everything he needed: an unlimited amount of food, a nice place to sleep and rest, and a gym where he could exercise. But they did insist on 'doing check-ups', as they called it, every two days, and Ranma was really getting sick of it.
Sitting on the edge of an infirmary bed, Ranma swung his legs and whistled a random tune to pass the time as he waited for Dr Fraiser to do his physical.
Jeez, he thought, if they insist on doing these pointless examinations, the least they could do is be on time.
He heard the clicking of her high-heels long before the petite doctor entered the room. As always, she was dressed in a white lab coat over a military uniform, its edges swishing around her calves as she walked. Her auburn hair was tied into a bun at the back of her head and two strands of it framed her attractive face, swinging slightly as she approached him at a brisk pace.
ôWell, young man, what say we get this over with?ö Fraiser said. ôThis is the last thing I've got to do tonight and then I'm going home to my daughter.ö
Ah, it must be close to dinner time then. ôSure,ö Ranma said. ôThe sooner we finish the better.ö
ôWhat, something wrong with my bedside manner?ö Fraiser asked, a smile curving her lips as she went about checking Ranma's pulse, respiration and pupillary reflex.
ôNah, Doc, you're an angel.ö Ranma gave her his best lady-killer smile. Fraiser ignored it and kept up her professional demeanour. Ranma sighed. ôI'm just sick of getting poked and prodded all the time. I've been here only a couple of weeks, but I've already had about a dozen physicals. Don't you have enough of my blood by now?ö he asked, some of the frustration he felt bleeding into his voice.
"I just want to be extra careful," Fraiser said as she readied a needle to draw more of Ranma's blood. Little vampire. "We don't yet understand how you can do all these super-human feats. I just want to make sure you're completely healthy and not suffering from any side effects."
Ranma snorted, crossing his arms. Yeah, right. How stupid did she think he was? He heard the things people said about him behind his back, saw the fearful and hostile looks they shot him. They thought he was some kind of freak or alien out to murder them all. "Whatever," he muttered. "Let's just get this over with."
ôDon't sulk. You're too old for that,ö Fraiser said. She grabbed his right arm, straightened it and rammed a needle inside it. Ranma winced. How could that tiny little thing hurt so much? He could shrug off Teal'c's punches and not feel a thing! ôThere's also the matter of your other à special ability,ö she said as his blood flowed thickly into a little tube.
ôWhat other ability?ö
ôYour sex-change.ö
Ranma blew out a breath. ôI already told you. It's a magical curse I picked up in China. How many times do we have to go over that?ö
ôWell, in my line of work we don't believe in things like magic,ö Fraiser told him, removing the now-full tube and replacing it with another one.
ôThat's because you don't get out much,ö Ranma muttered under his breath.
ôDid you say something?ö Fraiser said, shooting him a grin that was entirely too sweet.
ôNo! Nothing!ö Ranma said quickly. Note to self, he thought, don't piss off the lady with the big needles. She's scary!
ôThat's what I thought.ö Fraiser removed the tube and the needle, pushed a small cotton swab against the wound and taped it down. ôAnyway, we've seen too many things people thought were magic but which were in truth caused by very advanced technology. I suspect that what you call a curse is no different.ö
Ranma ripped the cotton swab off as Fraiser put away the vials of blood. Why did that Napoleonic power monger insist on taping it anyway? The tiny puncture mark healed as soon as Fraiser pulled the needle out. All it did was leave an itchy spot on his arm because of the glue on the tape she used. ôWhatever,ö he said as he hopped off the bed. ôAre we done? Can I go now?ö
ôNo. We are not done!ö Fraiser turned back, scowling. ôWe still need to do X-rays and an MRI. Which you should know by now! We've done this often enough!ö
Ranma scowled back. ôExactly! How many more X-rays and MRIs can you possibly need? I'm afraid I'll start glowing in the dark!ö
ôWe've gone over this,ö Fraiser said. ôI'm not getting into this argument again. Let's go. The sooner we start the sooner we're done.ö
ôAs if! We'll just do the same damn thing tomorrow or the day after that! I'm getting sick of this!ö he said, slicing his arm through the air. ôI agreed to come here because I want to help. I did not come here to be treated like some rat in a lab! There is no alien growing inside me! Nothing is going to burst out of my chest and devour the people on this base! No matter how many times you suck out my blood and look at my insides you won't find anything out of the ordinary, so you might as well stop it!ö
ôAre you quite finished?ö Fraiser stood with her hands thrust into the pockets of her lab coat, looking down her nose at him. Ranma scowled at her a few moments longer, before sighing and relaxing his stance. ôGood. Now I suggest we finish our check-up, then pay a visit to Doctor Carter.ö
ôVisit Carter?ö Ranma furrowed his forehead. ôWhat for?ö
ôTo take a look at the things she found in your blood.ö
-v-V-v-
Twenty minutes later, Ranma and Doctor Fraiser entered Carter's lab. They found the blonde scientist sitting at a desk, looking into a microscope. She didn't appear to notice their arrival.
Fraiser left his side to talk to Carter, whispering to her in harsh tones, agitatedly gesturing with her arms.
Heh, probably bitching about me, Ranma thought. He decided to ignore them and take a look around.
The lab looked like every other room on base. Its walls were painted dark grey, the illumination was provided by bright neon lamps, and the air smelled stale. The only differences were the computers and other gadgets lining the walls, their lights blinking red and yellow and green in random patterns Ranma couldn't make heads or tails of, and the door. A thirty centimetre thick slab of steel, rolling along a rail on the floor, protected the entrance to Carter's lab.
ôWould you come here, Mister Saotome?ö Fraiser asked.
Turning away from the door, Ranma thrust his hands into his pockets and meandered over to the two women.
Fraiser stood with her arms crossed over her chest and regarded him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Ranma ignored her and nodded at Carter. ôSam.ö
ôHello, Ranma,ö Carter said, looking from Ranma to Fraiser with raised eye-brows.
ôTake a look,ö Fraiser said, waving at the microscope.
Sighing, Ranma bent down and looked through the instrument. He saw white, almost translucent octahedral shapes floating in front of a red background. He had no idea what they could be. ôAll right,ö he said. ôWhat am I looking at?ö
ôSam, could you explain to Mister Saotome what you found?ö
ôUhm, right,ö Carter said, giving them a strange look. She cleared her throat. ôThree years ago, we visited a planet we designated as P3X-8596. The natives called it 'Argos'.ö
ôWait. I remember reading the mission report about that. Wasn't that the planet where O'Neill turned into an old man after a one-night stand with a local woman?ö Ranma asked, feeling the corners of his mouth twitching.
Carter smiled. ôYes. Anyway, at first we didn't understand what was happening, but we finally took a look at the Colonel's blood and found it full of nanites.ö
ôTiny machines, right?ö Ranma asked.
ôBasically, yes.ö Carter nodded. ôWe quickly figured out that these nanites had somehow extremely sped up the Colonel's ageing process. After a few days of fruitless and failed experiments where we tried to deactivate or reprogram them, the Colonel figured out that there had to be a transmitter on Argos. We destroyed the transmitter, the nanites became inactive, and the immune system of the people infected with them destroyed them. Once the nanites were gone, the people on Argos started ageing at a normal rate and Jack was returned to his normal age.ö
ôAll right. I get all that,ö Ranma said. ôI just don't see what that's got to do with me.ö
ôRanma, that's a sample of your blood under that microscope,ö Carter explained patiently. ôIt's swarming with nanites.ö
Ranma suddenly felt cold. His heart dropped into his stomach. His ears were ringing. The room spun like a carnival ride. His knees buckled.
Ranma forced himself to take deep breaths. He had to calm down. Panicking wouldn't help him. He breathed in, held it for several seconds, then breathed out again. He repeated that until he felt his heart-rate slowing down and his hearing returning.
ôThat's it, Ranma,ö Fraiser said, ôtake deep breaths.ö
ôI'll get him some water,ö Carter said.
Ranma blinked. He was sitting on a chair. He didn't remember sitting down.
ôHere,ö Carter said, handing Ranma a bottle of water.
ôThanks.ö He took a sip of water and wiped his brow. It was soaked with sweat. His whole body was soaking wet, Ranma realised. Great, he thought sarcastically, I had a panic attack. That's really manly.
Then he was assaulted by bright light.
ôHow do you feel?ö Fraiser asked, shining a pen-light into his eyes.
Scowling, Ranma swatted her hand away. ôI feel fine,ö he grumbled
ôOkay, then.ö Clicking off her pen-light, Fraiser took a step back and put her infernal instrument into her breast pocket. Blinking the sweat out of his eyes, Ranma peered at the doctor incredulously. He had expected her to take him back to the infirmary. ôI'm sorry, Ranma,ö Fraiser said, looking ashamed.
ôWhat do you have to be sorry for?ö Ranma asked.
ôI should have given you some warning, not just dropped this on you.ö
Ranma couldn't understand it. Fraiser hadn't done anything. Unless...
He chuckled, waving her off. ôI get it. I was being an ass earlier, and you wanted to get back at me.ö Fraiser avoided his eyes, but didn't deny it. ôIt's okay, really. I probably deserved it.ö
ôNo. It's certainly not okay! I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to help people, not harm them!ö
ôJeez!ö Rolling his eyes, Ranma stood up. A brief wave of dizziness washed over him, and he wobbled a bit, bit it passed quickly. ôSee?ö he said, spreading his arms. ôGood as new!ö
Carter eyed the open water bottle in his hand with apprehension. ôI better take that back before you soak one of my instruments.ö
ôHeh. Better one of your instruments than me. I really don't want to be a woman right now.ö
Fraiser and Carter exchanged a look. ôWhat?ö Ranma asked them.
ôWell,ö Carter bit her lip, ôI think the nanites we found in your blood are what's causing you to change sexes.ö
Stunned speechless, Ranma could only stare at the blonde scientist. If the nanites in his blood were behind his curse, that meant he could be cured if they found a way to disable them.
ôThe nanites in your blood are a bit different from the nanites on Argos, but I think they're basically the same. I'm not sure yet how we can turn them off. Everything we tried three years ago didn't work, and the transmitter on Argos has been destroyed, but I'm sure we'll think of something!ö
ôWhoa,ö Ranma said. ôThat's great news!ö Then a thought occurred to him. ôWait a minute. If the nanites in my blood are like the nanites on Argos, and the nanites on Argos were part of some sick experiment by some goa'uld, does that mean the goa'uld are responsible for my curse?ö
ôI think that's a pretty safe bet,ö Carter said.
ôI am so going to kick their ass for this!ö
-------------
The goa'uld are so screwed
Here's a possible scene from a Ranma/SG-1 crossover story I'm playing around with:
--------------
The infirmary of the SGC was just as boring and dull and colourless as the rest of the complex. The walls were grey, the lighting was artificial and nowhere near bright enough, and the air smelled stale and old.
For Ranma, who had spent his whole life outside, except for when he ate and slept, it was like being imprisoned. He was used to breathing fresh air, feeling the sun on his skin and hearing birds sing. Staying in this underground bunker felt almost like being chained up and buried in concrete.
That's not really true, though, is it, Ranma thought with a smirk. If I were chained up and buried in concrete I could just bust myself out. Here, I'm trapped. At least, until they finally finish that paperwork.
He couldn't even tell what time it was. Living inside this dreary prison of concrete and steel for the last couple of weeks had messed up his internal chronometer to the point where remembering who worked which shift was the only way he could tell whether it was day or night.
He couldn't wait to get out of here. He had to remind himself a dozen times a day that General Hammond had told him that his paperwork was being rushed, they had people looking for a suitable apartment for him, and if all went well, he'd be allowed to leave in just a few more days.
Never had a few days seemed so long to Ranma.
It wouldn't even be so bad if it weren't for the constant physicals he was subjected to. He had basically everything he needed: an unlimited amount of food, a nice place to sleep and rest, and a gym where he could exercise. But they did insist on 'doing check-ups', as they called it, every two days, and Ranma was really getting sick of it.
Sitting on the edge of an infirmary bed, Ranma swung his legs and whistled a random tune to pass the time as he waited for Dr Fraiser to do his physical.
Jeez, he thought, if they insist on doing these pointless examinations, the least they could do is be on time.
He heard the clicking of her high-heels long before the petite doctor entered the room. As always, she was dressed in a white lab coat over a military uniform, its edges swishing around her calves as she walked. Her auburn hair was tied into a bun at the back of her head and two strands of it framed her attractive face, swinging slightly as she approached him at a brisk pace.
ôWell, young man, what say we get this over with?ö Fraiser said. ôThis is the last thing I've got to do tonight and then I'm going home to my daughter.ö
Ah, it must be close to dinner time then. ôSure,ö Ranma said. ôThe sooner we finish the better.ö
ôWhat, something wrong with my bedside manner?ö Fraiser asked, a smile curving her lips as she went about checking Ranma's pulse, respiration and pupillary reflex.
ôNah, Doc, you're an angel.ö Ranma gave her his best lady-killer smile. Fraiser ignored it and kept up her professional demeanour. Ranma sighed. ôI'm just sick of getting poked and prodded all the time. I've been here only a couple of weeks, but I've already had about a dozen physicals. Don't you have enough of my blood by now?ö he asked, some of the frustration he felt bleeding into his voice.
"I just want to be extra careful," Fraiser said as she readied a needle to draw more of Ranma's blood. Little vampire. "We don't yet understand how you can do all these super-human feats. I just want to make sure you're completely healthy and not suffering from any side effects."
Ranma snorted, crossing his arms. Yeah, right. How stupid did she think he was? He heard the things people said about him behind his back, saw the fearful and hostile looks they shot him. They thought he was some kind of freak or alien out to murder them all. "Whatever," he muttered. "Let's just get this over with."
ôDon't sulk. You're too old for that,ö Fraiser said. She grabbed his right arm, straightened it and rammed a needle inside it. Ranma winced. How could that tiny little thing hurt so much? He could shrug off Teal'c's punches and not feel a thing! ôThere's also the matter of your other à special ability,ö she said as his blood flowed thickly into a little tube.
ôWhat other ability?ö
ôYour sex-change.ö
Ranma blew out a breath. ôI already told you. It's a magical curse I picked up in China. How many times do we have to go over that?ö
ôWell, in my line of work we don't believe in things like magic,ö Fraiser told him, removing the now-full tube and replacing it with another one.
ôThat's because you don't get out much,ö Ranma muttered under his breath.
ôDid you say something?ö Fraiser said, shooting him a grin that was entirely too sweet.
ôNo! Nothing!ö Ranma said quickly. Note to self, he thought, don't piss off the lady with the big needles. She's scary!
ôThat's what I thought.ö Fraiser removed the tube and the needle, pushed a small cotton swab against the wound and taped it down. ôAnyway, we've seen too many things people thought were magic but which were in truth caused by very advanced technology. I suspect that what you call a curse is no different.ö
Ranma ripped the cotton swab off as Fraiser put away the vials of blood. Why did that Napoleonic power monger insist on taping it anyway? The tiny puncture mark healed as soon as Fraiser pulled the needle out. All it did was leave an itchy spot on his arm because of the glue on the tape she used. ôWhatever,ö he said as he hopped off the bed. ôAre we done? Can I go now?ö
ôNo. We are not done!ö Fraiser turned back, scowling. ôWe still need to do X-rays and an MRI. Which you should know by now! We've done this often enough!ö
Ranma scowled back. ôExactly! How many more X-rays and MRIs can you possibly need? I'm afraid I'll start glowing in the dark!ö
ôWe've gone over this,ö Fraiser said. ôI'm not getting into this argument again. Let's go. The sooner we start the sooner we're done.ö
ôAs if! We'll just do the same damn thing tomorrow or the day after that! I'm getting sick of this!ö he said, slicing his arm through the air. ôI agreed to come here because I want to help. I did not come here to be treated like some rat in a lab! There is no alien growing inside me! Nothing is going to burst out of my chest and devour the people on this base! No matter how many times you suck out my blood and look at my insides you won't find anything out of the ordinary, so you might as well stop it!ö
ôAre you quite finished?ö Fraiser stood with her hands thrust into the pockets of her lab coat, looking down her nose at him. Ranma scowled at her a few moments longer, before sighing and relaxing his stance. ôGood. Now I suggest we finish our check-up, then pay a visit to Doctor Carter.ö
ôVisit Carter?ö Ranma furrowed his forehead. ôWhat for?ö
ôTo take a look at the things she found in your blood.ö
-v-V-v-
Twenty minutes later, Ranma and Doctor Fraiser entered Carter's lab. They found the blonde scientist sitting at a desk, looking into a microscope. She didn't appear to notice their arrival.
Fraiser left his side to talk to Carter, whispering to her in harsh tones, agitatedly gesturing with her arms.
Heh, probably bitching about me, Ranma thought. He decided to ignore them and take a look around.
The lab looked like every other room on base. Its walls were painted dark grey, the illumination was provided by bright neon lamps, and the air smelled stale. The only differences were the computers and other gadgets lining the walls, their lights blinking red and yellow and green in random patterns Ranma couldn't make heads or tails of, and the door. A thirty centimetre thick slab of steel, rolling along a rail on the floor, protected the entrance to Carter's lab.
ôWould you come here, Mister Saotome?ö Fraiser asked.
Turning away from the door, Ranma thrust his hands into his pockets and meandered over to the two women.
Fraiser stood with her arms crossed over her chest and regarded him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Ranma ignored her and nodded at Carter. ôSam.ö
ôHello, Ranma,ö Carter said, looking from Ranma to Fraiser with raised eye-brows.
ôTake a look,ö Fraiser said, waving at the microscope.
Sighing, Ranma bent down and looked through the instrument. He saw white, almost translucent octahedral shapes floating in front of a red background. He had no idea what they could be. ôAll right,ö he said. ôWhat am I looking at?ö
ôSam, could you explain to Mister Saotome what you found?ö
ôUhm, right,ö Carter said, giving them a strange look. She cleared her throat. ôThree years ago, we visited a planet we designated as P3X-8596. The natives called it 'Argos'.ö
ôWait. I remember reading the mission report about that. Wasn't that the planet where O'Neill turned into an old man after a one-night stand with a local woman?ö Ranma asked, feeling the corners of his mouth twitching.
Carter smiled. ôYes. Anyway, at first we didn't understand what was happening, but we finally took a look at the Colonel's blood and found it full of nanites.ö
ôTiny machines, right?ö Ranma asked.
ôBasically, yes.ö Carter nodded. ôWe quickly figured out that these nanites had somehow extremely sped up the Colonel's ageing process. After a few days of fruitless and failed experiments where we tried to deactivate or reprogram them, the Colonel figured out that there had to be a transmitter on Argos. We destroyed the transmitter, the nanites became inactive, and the immune system of the people infected with them destroyed them. Once the nanites were gone, the people on Argos started ageing at a normal rate and Jack was returned to his normal age.ö
ôAll right. I get all that,ö Ranma said. ôI just don't see what that's got to do with me.ö
ôRanma, that's a sample of your blood under that microscope,ö Carter explained patiently. ôIt's swarming with nanites.ö
Ranma suddenly felt cold. His heart dropped into his stomach. His ears were ringing. The room spun like a carnival ride. His knees buckled.
Ranma forced himself to take deep breaths. He had to calm down. Panicking wouldn't help him. He breathed in, held it for several seconds, then breathed out again. He repeated that until he felt his heart-rate slowing down and his hearing returning.
ôThat's it, Ranma,ö Fraiser said, ôtake deep breaths.ö
ôI'll get him some water,ö Carter said.
Ranma blinked. He was sitting on a chair. He didn't remember sitting down.
ôHere,ö Carter said, handing Ranma a bottle of water.
ôThanks.ö He took a sip of water and wiped his brow. It was soaked with sweat. His whole body was soaking wet, Ranma realised. Great, he thought sarcastically, I had a panic attack. That's really manly.
Then he was assaulted by bright light.
ôHow do you feel?ö Fraiser asked, shining a pen-light into his eyes.
Scowling, Ranma swatted her hand away. ôI feel fine,ö he grumbled
ôOkay, then.ö Clicking off her pen-light, Fraiser took a step back and put her infernal instrument into her breast pocket. Blinking the sweat out of his eyes, Ranma peered at the doctor incredulously. He had expected her to take him back to the infirmary. ôI'm sorry, Ranma,ö Fraiser said, looking ashamed.
ôWhat do you have to be sorry for?ö Ranma asked.
ôI should have given you some warning, not just dropped this on you.ö
Ranma couldn't understand it. Fraiser hadn't done anything. Unless...
He chuckled, waving her off. ôI get it. I was being an ass earlier, and you wanted to get back at me.ö Fraiser avoided his eyes, but didn't deny it. ôIt's okay, really. I probably deserved it.ö
ôNo. It's certainly not okay! I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to help people, not harm them!ö
ôJeez!ö Rolling his eyes, Ranma stood up. A brief wave of dizziness washed over him, and he wobbled a bit, bit it passed quickly. ôSee?ö he said, spreading his arms. ôGood as new!ö
Carter eyed the open water bottle in his hand with apprehension. ôI better take that back before you soak one of my instruments.ö
ôHeh. Better one of your instruments than me. I really don't want to be a woman right now.ö
Fraiser and Carter exchanged a look. ôWhat?ö Ranma asked them.
ôWell,ö Carter bit her lip, ôI think the nanites we found in your blood are what's causing you to change sexes.ö
Stunned speechless, Ranma could only stare at the blonde scientist. If the nanites in his blood were behind his curse, that meant he could be cured if they found a way to disable them.
ôThe nanites in your blood are a bit different from the nanites on Argos, but I think they're basically the same. I'm not sure yet how we can turn them off. Everything we tried three years ago didn't work, and the transmitter on Argos has been destroyed, but I'm sure we'll think of something!ö
ôWhoa,ö Ranma said. ôThat's great news!ö Then a thought occurred to him. ôWait a minute. If the nanites in my blood are like the nanites on Argos, and the nanites on Argos were part of some sick experiment by some goa'uld, does that mean the goa'uld are responsible for my curse?ö
ôI think that's a pretty safe bet,ö Carter said.
ôI am so going to kick their ass for this!ö
-------------
The goa'uld are so screwed
"Foolish mortals!" Herb screamed. "Bow before me!"
"Now, where have I heard that line before?" Jack asked with a roll of his eyes.
"Sorry, pal," Ranma added, "but we don't bow before anyone. Least of all some arrogant brat like you."
"You dare show me such insolence? I am a descendant of dragons!" Herb declared. "My ancestor defeated the great dragon Firkgraad and threw it into the pool of drowned girl and took it for his wife! You will show me the respect I deserve or suffer!"
"Firkgraad... Firkgraad..." Daniel mumbled. "I've heard that name before."
"Indeed," Teal'c said. "It is the name of a minor Goa'uld lord who lived three thousand years ago. Jaffa legends state that he was defeated in battle."
"Well, that explains everything," Jack quipped.
"Man, suddenly I feel sorry for him," Ranma said. "Can you imagine? You grow up, your whole life believing you're descended from dragons, only to find out your great-great-great-and a few more-grandmother was actually a parasitic snake with delusions of grandeur."
The others considered this for a bit, then nodded thoughtfully and gave Herb pitying looks.
"RARGH! DIE!"
"Now, where have I heard that line before?" Jack asked with a roll of his eyes.
"Sorry, pal," Ranma added, "but we don't bow before anyone. Least of all some arrogant brat like you."
"You dare show me such insolence? I am a descendant of dragons!" Herb declared. "My ancestor defeated the great dragon Firkgraad and threw it into the pool of drowned girl and took it for his wife! You will show me the respect I deserve or suffer!"
"Firkgraad... Firkgraad..." Daniel mumbled. "I've heard that name before."
"Indeed," Teal'c said. "It is the name of a minor Goa'uld lord who lived three thousand years ago. Jaffa legends state that he was defeated in battle."
"Well, that explains everything," Jack quipped.
"Man, suddenly I feel sorry for him," Ranma said. "Can you imagine? You grow up, your whole life believing you're descended from dragons, only to find out your great-great-great-and a few more-grandmother was actually a parasitic snake with delusions of grandeur."
The others considered this for a bit, then nodded thoughtfully and gave Herb pitying looks.
"RARGH! DIE!"
On the planet P8X-412, Mitchell was slowly moving about the nearby trees, looking up, until he spotted the man he was looking for. ôSaotome,ö Mitchell stated, leaning against the tree.
ôIÆve maxed out the device,ö Ranma replied, appearing to be sleeping n an upper branch, a reed of grass in his mouth. ôTold Carter already that it was as good as it was gonna get.ö
ôUnderstood,ö Mitchell replied, looking about. ôYou know where he is?ö
Ranma nodded, knowing who the new leader of SG-1 was referring to.
Taking a deep breath, Cameron looked up. ôCan you do it?ö
Though the Lt. Colonel didnÆt see it from his position, Ranma opened his eyes, staring off in the direction of the Prior. ôà Maybe,ö he replied.
ôMaybe?ö Mitchell asked.
Sitting up, Ranma shrugged. ôWell, heÆs got some serious friends backing him up, and letÆs face it; the Ancients ainÆt exactly friendly to me.
ôYeah, read the files,ö Mitchell responded. Ranma did seem to have an ability to piss off powerful things. ôCarter thinks weÆll start losing people to this plague in a few hours. So à IÆm going to do something General OÆNeill told me never to do.ö
ôOh?ö Ranma asked, looking down, smiling.
ôà Go be a baa~aad puddy tat,ö he finally said.
Landing softly beside him, Mitchell could almost swear he saw RanmaÆs eyes become more cat-like. ôUnderstood.ö
<hr>
Jack looked up from the report, to the entirety of SG-1. ôAnything to say for yourselves?ö he asked, holding up the documented damages to the planet.
Ranma just smiled. ôGot me a brand new poking stick!ö he replied, holding up the PriorÆs staff.
ôIÆve maxed out the device,ö Ranma replied, appearing to be sleeping n an upper branch, a reed of grass in his mouth. ôTold Carter already that it was as good as it was gonna get.ö
ôUnderstood,ö Mitchell replied, looking about. ôYou know where he is?ö
Ranma nodded, knowing who the new leader of SG-1 was referring to.
Taking a deep breath, Cameron looked up. ôCan you do it?ö
Though the Lt. Colonel didnÆt see it from his position, Ranma opened his eyes, staring off in the direction of the Prior. ôà Maybe,ö he replied.
ôMaybe?ö Mitchell asked.
Sitting up, Ranma shrugged. ôWell, heÆs got some serious friends backing him up, and letÆs face it; the Ancients ainÆt exactly friendly to me.
ôYeah, read the files,ö Mitchell responded. Ranma did seem to have an ability to piss off powerful things. ôCarter thinks weÆll start losing people to this plague in a few hours. So à IÆm going to do something General OÆNeill told me never to do.ö
ôOh?ö Ranma asked, looking down, smiling.
ôà Go be a baa~aad puddy tat,ö he finally said.
Landing softly beside him, Mitchell could almost swear he saw RanmaÆs eyes become more cat-like. ôUnderstood.ö
<hr>
Jack looked up from the report, to the entirety of SG-1. ôAnything to say for yourselves?ö he asked, holding up the documented damages to the planet.
Ranma just smiled. ôGot me a brand new poking stick!ö he replied, holding up the PriorÆs staff.