Akamatsuverse Hetero Trap Keitaro *CRACK*

mswolfe17

Well-Known Member
#1
Keitaro the Trap

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Disclaimer: For sharpie pens all over the world!
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It was a sunny mid-summers day that found a young woman of about 19 years of age making her way up the steps to the Hinata Inn and Hot springs Resort with luggage in tow.

Clad in a gray blouse and a denim skirt, her long coffee-brown haired swayed gently with each step she took.

As she neared the middle of the stairway, she paused for a moment to get her breath, and to get a better grip on her suitcase. ôI hope Granny has room for one more in the inn, I don't really have many options at this point.ö she thought out loud, in a voice just a notch below soprano.

ôIt'll also be good to see if the Hinata is just like I remember it.ö she remarked to herself as she continued on her way up the steps.

As the teenager finally made her way to the top of the steps, she put her suitcase down and spread her arms open wide. ôLooks just like it did when I left ten years ago.ö She murmured before changing her expression to a nice wistful smile.

ôI wonder...ö

The brunette took a long, deep breath before picking up her suitcase again and heading towards the front door. She knocked loudly, only to be greeted by no reply.

She placed her luggage on the ground next to her and opened the door a little, just enough for her to yell inside. ôGranny Hina! It's me, Kei-chan! Are you home?ö She paused for a moment to wait for some kind of reaction, only to be disappointed with nothing of the sort.

'Maybe I'll go see if Aunt Haruka is around. Don't want to intrude while there's no one home.'

With that in her mind, she retrieved her suitcase and set out for the Tea house.

Five minutes later, she walked through the doorway to Haruka's business establishment, and nearly collided with an exiting customer at the same time. After the obligatory apologizing, she made her way towards the back of the shop.

ôAunt Haruka, are you back here?ö She called out, poking her head through the flap that separated the kitchen from the rest of the room. ôAunt Haruka?ö

There was literally no warning, not even the sound of air moving, before the top of her head was attacked with a large paper fan with a resounding *thwap* noise, earning a yelp. Now on her knees, the brunette looked up to meet the irritated eyes of Urashima Haruka.

ôHow many times have I told you not to call me Aunt, Kei-chan? A hundred, a thousand? It's just 'Haruka-san' to you.ö the older woman scolded. At the sight of tears in her relative's eyes, she sighed loudly, and helped the teenager back to her feet.

ôSo how's the life of a cross-dresser treating you Keitaro?ö


*end snippet*

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I know it's really short, but it's just an idea for now.
This was inspired by a random idea GenocideHeart put up in this forum. After watching Otome wa Boku ni Koishiteru and reading My-Otome, I couldn't help but wonder how it would affect canon if something like this happened.

If this is liked, I'll probably rewrite it as a longer part.

Some other notes:
1. Keitaro actually thinks of himself as a male, but naturally acts and dresses more like a woman due to his upbringing. He's fully straight, and tends to get offended when people assume differently about him.

2. Keitaro's parents don't kick him out because of his failing the Todai exams twice, it's more along the lines of "His poor dad just couldn't take it any more."
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#2
He better hope the rules of comedic violence will stay in effect if he wants to live.
 

JiigarGhen

Well-Known Member
#3
Yeah...given the strange logic certain of the Hinata residents employ...
 

Vexarian

Well-Known Member
#4
Naru and Motoko would explode. Into millions of pieces after discovering this.

Or they'd suffer from fatal/near-fatal BSODs. Shinobu would also be in this pile of course.

I'm really not sure what to think of this one. It definitely holds the potential to be hilarious, but if it will be win, fail, or winfail is yet to be determined.
 

runestar

Well-Known Member
#5
Would the girls treat him any differently if they knew he was a male dressing as a female? Or are you intending that this "deception" carry on for some time first?
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#6
I'm more interested in how well the girs would receive the news that a male can be prettier than they are. I sense many self-esteems being ground into a fine dust upon their first meeting... :snigger:

This is starting out well. Carry on, mon. You may also want to delve into his upbringing more. Specifically, whose fault that is, kekeke.
 

runestar

Well-Known Member
#7
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless. :lol:

1. Keitaro actually thinks of himself as a male, but naturally acts and dresses more like a woman due to his upbringing.
Not that far-fetched, if we consider Kanako's obsession with disguises. :p
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#8
runestar said:
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless. :lol:
So what happens when Motoko's sister walks in on this charming scene of Kei-chan giving her little sister fashion advice?
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#9
Ordo said:
runestar said:
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless.? :lol:
So what happens when Motoko's sister walks in on this charming scene of Kei-chan giving her little sister fashion advice?
That might be the first time we ever see a fic where Tsuruko goes into a BSOD.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#10
runestar said:
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless. :lol:

1. Keitaro actually thinks of himself as a male, but naturally acts and dresses more like a woman due to his upbringing.
Not that far-fetched, if we consider Kanako's obsession with disguises. :p
It could make them wonder if it's just something about the family that makes them like that. Considering that Hina was willing to leave an inn to a man she hadn't seen in years, the aunt shows violence at the mention of her age, and the sister* likes to disguise herself and has an obsession with her brother I think a case could be made.

*Yes I know she was adopted, enough already.
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#11
GenocideHeart said:
Ordo said:
runestar said:
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless.á :lol:
So what happens when Motoko's sister walks in on this charming scene of Kei-chan giving her little sister fashion advice?
That might be the first time we ever see a fic where Tsuruko goes into a BSOD.
Soooo a trap is fine too?
 

kevinasher

Well-Known Member
#12
Ordo said:
GenocideHeart said:
Ordo said:
runestar said:
Or Keitaro actually giving the girls tips on how to look and dress better.

The mental image of him giving Motoko advice would be priceless.á :lol:
So what happens when Motoko's sister walks in on this charming scene of Kei-chan giving her little sister fashion advice?
That might be the first time we ever see a fic where Tsuruko goes into a BSOD.
Soooo a trap is fine too?
When has it not been?
 

mswolfe17

Well-Known Member
#14
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ôHow's life as a cross-dresser treating you Keitaro?ö

The older woman's blunt question brought a pout to the young ôwoman'sö face.

ôOh come on! You know I hate it when you call it that, Aunt Haruka!ö Urashima Keitaro protested cutely, with his bottom lip stuck out and his eyebrows furrowed.

*Thwap* Down came the fan again on the teenager's head.

ô-Haruka-san. Gaah, that hurts!ö moaned the young man. He used one hand to rub the top of his head while making warding motions with the other.

Haruka sighed in exasperation. ôYou never learn, do you Keitaro? As for what I call your hobby, well, I'm not the one in drag, now am I?ö She smirked around the cigarette in her mouth.

The younger brunette threw his arms up.ôYou know very well I can't wear mens' clothing anymore, people never believe me when I say I'm a man anyways.ö He retorted with more then a trace of bitterness in his voice.

Haruka rolled her eyes.

ôFine, fine, yeah I know, whatever. Anyways, what brings you here today Keitaro? I noticed you're lugging around that old suitcase of yours again.ö she remarked with a nod towards the a fore-mentioned piece of luggage.

Keitaro's eyes began to get all teary again. ôMom and Dad kicked me out of the house today. Something about Dad not being able to 'take it anymore'.ö the feminine boy lamented.

Haruka paused for a moment to register that statement, then put her hand to her temples and closed her eyes.

ôKei-chan, what exactly do you wear around your house on a regular day?ö she inquired.

The sudden question brought Keitaro up short, ôHuh? Usually a skirt and a tube top. That's what's the most comfortable if I'm just sitting around. Why?ö she answered honestly.

Haruka let out another long sigh, blowing a small cloud of smoke out with it.

ôNever mind, I think I understand the problem. So anyways, you're looking for a place to stay, right?ö

ôMmhm. I was hoping Granny had a room open for me to rent. At least until I can find a place of my own.ö the teenager replied, still trying to figure out his relative's reason for asking the previous question.

ôWell, you're more then a little out of luck, Kei-chan.ö

ôEh? Why?ö

The smoker opened one eye to glance at her cousin.
ôGranny left recently to go on a world-wide hot springs tour. And that's just your first issue. Secondly, Hinata-sou got turned into a girl's dormitory a few years back.ö

Keitaro's mouth and eyes opened slightly in alarm, but he said nothing.

ôYeah, looks like you get it. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask if you can stay for a couple of days until you can find a new place to live.ö

ôAsk? But didn't you say Granny left on a tour?ö

ôI meant the dorm residents. If they're okay with it, I don't see why you couldn't stay for a little while.ö

His eyes lit up, and his feminine lips stretched wide in a brilliant smile.
ôReally? Oh that'd be great! Thank you so much, Aunt-ö

*Thwap* Down came the fan, once again on the hapless teenager's skull.

ô...Haruka-sanö

ôDon't thank me yet, we still haven't even asked the others.ö

*end snippet*

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Edited Aunt out and replaced with cousin, thanks to DKG who pointed it out.

A bit longer this time, I tried to flesh out a full dialogue between Keitaro and Haruka without making it seem too contrived.

Most of Keitaro's feminine habits aren't revealed yet, but they're coming up real soon.

I'm brainstorming ideas for a title right now, because I'd like to call this something other then "Keitaro the Trap".

So far, I'm not very impressed with my creativity.

My ideas so far:

Greener Grass

The Other Side

Drag Queen Hina

Drag Hina

Trap Hina

More then Meets the Eye :headbanger:

Super Bishounen Keitaro

The Pretty Boy Landlord

:huh.: :huh.: :huh.:

If anyone's got some ideas, please let me know.
 

armedlord

Well-Known Member
#15
...I think my mind just broke...again...in the Love Hina Section for the second time in the life of this forum.

...

Stupid, not really subtle sounding titles: "Mirrors of Gender" "Hidden Ambush" and "I See a Girl When Drunk"
 

kevinasher

Well-Known Member
#16
Uh, well there always is "Dude looks like a lady", although I'd probably want to find someone say that without trying to sound like Steven Tyler and listen to them say it a few hundred times before going with that.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#17
Unless Haruka specifically leaves out the fact that Keitaro is a guy this will not end well. As in Keitaro kicked out when the find out.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#18
zeebee1 said:
Unless Haruka specifically leaves out the fact that Keitaro is a guy this will not end well. As in Keitaro kicked out when the find out.
They tried that even in canon, remember? The net result was OVERRULED, BITCH. And in THAT occasion he had been caught in the goddamn bath, which is a good deal worse than just dressing like a girl.

I see no reason why it'd work this time around. :snigger:

Of course, it may be just jealousy because a trap looks better than they do...
 

Lord Raine

Well-Known Member
#19
GenocideHeart said:
zeebee1 said:
Unless Haruka specifically leaves out the fact that Keitaro is a guy this will not end well. As in Keitaro kicked out when the find out.
They tried that even in canon, remember? The net result was OVERRULED, BITCH. And in THAT occasion he had been caught in the goddamn bath, which is a good deal worse than just dressing like a girl.
Actually, the baths are mixed, according to the official map. They walked in on him.

Isn't the double-standard lovely? :/
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#20
Lord Raine said:
Actually, the baths are mixed, according to the official map. They walked in on him.

Isn't the double-standard lovely? :/
He's a man, and in the tradition of Tsundere's everywhere, if something goes wrong, blame the man. He either did something wrong, failed to do something right, or should've known all along not to be where he was, or who/what he is.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#21
Lord Raine said:
Actually, the baths are mixed, according to the official map. They walked in on him.

Isn't the double-standard lovely? :/
Except that the Hinatasou was no longer an inn, but a girls-only dorm, which means males being there was just plain illegal, period, no matter what the map says.

Claiming ignorance is a poor excuse when the entrance to the Hinatasou has a big honking sign saying it's now a girls dorm. Keitaro should have paid more attention there, as much as I'd like to blame Naru, I can't say her reaction to finding a MALE in a girls' dorm bath was unjustified. Everything else that followed those events was unjustified, but the first reaction? Understandable.
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#22
GenocideHeart said:
Lord Raine said:
Actually, the baths are mixed, according to the official map. They walked in on him.

Isn't the double-standard lovely? :/
Except that the Hinatasou was no longer an inn, but a girls-only dorm, which means males being there was just plain illegal, period, no matter what the map says.

Claiming ignorance is a poor excuse when the entrance to the Hinatasou has a big honking sign saying it's now a girls dorm. Keitaro should have paid more attention there, as much as I'd like to blame Naru, I can't say her reaction to finding a MALE in a girls' dorm bath was unjustified. Everything else that followed those events was unjustified, but the first reaction? Understandable.
No, no, I'm sure there was a time travel episode where Naru went back into the past and switched the signs just after Keitaro walked in, all too make him look bad to her past self. After all, Keitaro needed to be broken to Naru's will lest he go after another one of the Hina Inn's residents.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#23
Ordo said:
GenocideHeart said:
Lord Raine said:
Actually, the baths are mixed, according to the official map. They walked in on him.

Isn't the double-standard lovely? :/
Except that the Hinatasou was no longer an inn, but a girls-only dorm, which means males being there was just plain illegal, period, no matter what the map says.

Claiming ignorance is a poor excuse when the entrance to the Hinatasou has a big honking sign saying it's now a girls dorm. Keitaro should have paid more attention there, as much as I'd like to blame Naru, I can't say her reaction to finding a MALE in a girls' dorm bath was unjustified. Everything else that followed those events was unjustified, but the first reaction? Understandable.
No, no, I'm sure there was a time travel episode where Naru went back into the past and switched the signs just after Keitaro walked in, all too make him look bad to her past self. After all, Keitaro needed to be broken to Naru's will lest he go after another one of the Hina Inn's residents.
You sir or madam, are one short step away from being a crazed conspiracy theorist.
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#24
grant said:
Ordo said:
No, no, I'm sure there was a time travel episode where Naru went back into the past and switched the signs just after Keitaro walked in, all too make him look bad to her past self. After all, Keitaro needed to be broken to Naru's will? lest he go after another one of the Hina Inn's residents.
You sir or madam, are one short step away from being a crazed conspiracy theorist.
Why do people never listen to us! We've tried to warn you again and again, but you all NEVER listen.

Well, when the Tsundere take over, you'll know we were right, you'll know that you should've listened to US! And when all the men of the world cry out "Save us!" as they're being beaten by their women...we'll whisper back "No."
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#25
Ordo said:
grant said:
Ordo said:
No, no, I'm sure there was a time travel episode where Naru went back into the past and switched the signs just after Keitaro walked in, all too make him look bad to her past self. After all, Keitaro needed to be broken to Naru's willá lest he go after another one of the Hina Inn's residents.
You sir or madam, are one short step away from being a crazed conspiracy theorist.
Why do people never listen to us! We've tried to warn you again and again, but you all NEVER listen.

Well, when the Tsundere take over, you'll know we were right, you'll know that you should've listened to US! And when all the men of the world cry out "Save us!" as they're being beaten by their women...we'll whisper back "No."


Sorry about that, folks. Some douchebag left the door of the neuropsychatric ward open... I'll be carrying him back in now.
 
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