Naruto Horrible Fanfiction Cliches

[raedric]

I don't mind them, unless they ruin the flow if it goes something like

Naruto: Blah blah blah Sakura

----

Sakura ~sneeze~


----

Naruto: Keep going with long scene of blah blah.

Nose bleeds are almost as bad, but thats because authors tend to be all ~nosebleeds~ or "He felt his nose bleeding" rather than describing it loosely and letting us realize it is a nosebleed. Ya dig?

 

[seitora]

The whole sneezing thing is a Japanese thing. Which authors have latched onto and beaten like a dead horse.

 

[Lord Raine]

The "True" Hyuuga bloodline limit and all Hyuuga being (closet) perverts.

That one can be pretty funny, though.

It is partially my fault that this one is as prolific as it is, so you can lay some of the blame for that on my feet. I am the creator of the USCEC, after all.

 

[ravenmoonshadow]

The "True" Hyuuga bloodline limit and all Hyuuga being (closet) perverts.

That one can be pretty funny, though.

It is partially my fault that this one is as prolific as it is, so you can lay some of the blame for that on my feet. I am the creator of the USCEC, after all.

um sorry but what is uscec????

 

[Cynical Kyle]

The "True" Hyuuga bloodline limit and all Hyuuga being (closet) perverts.

That one can be pretty funny, though.

It is partially my fault that this one is as prolific as it is, so you can lay some of the blame for that on my feet. I am the creator of the USCEC, after all.

Not blaming you for this Raine, as it was funny for the first couple of times until it got absorbed by fanon's cliche engine and became semi-standard feature in shitty Naruto fics.

 

[ragnarok1337]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

 

[atlas_hugged]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

I'd like to see a fic where Konan adopts Naruto, and uses this explanation on him. When he says, "Of course not!" she uses her paper magics to make it so the scroll is the weapon and then disciplines him with it.

 

[Shadowseraph]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

I'd like to see a fic where Konan adopts Naruto, and uses this explanation on him. When he says, "Of course not!" she uses her paper magics to make it so the scroll is the weapon and then disciplines him with it.

or have someone answer with the obvious, Its a scroll with a kunai in it, a concealed weapon is still a weapon.

 

[Bill Felix]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

I'd like to see a fic where Konan adopts Naruto, and uses this explanation on him. When he says, "Of course not!" she uses her paper magics to make it so the scroll is the weapon and then disciplines him with it.

or have someone answer with the obvious, Its a scroll with a kunai in it, a concealed weapon is still a weapon.

cilrais ripped on this the best in his 'Naruto's Birthday' fic:

"it looks like this is the end kit, im sorry kit it's all my fault, at least release me so i can destroy them" said Kyuubi (nine tailed fox)

"nein (no), okaasan (mother) the villagers just didn't understand the difference between a glass and the water in the glass, the difference between a container of ice cream and the ice cream, the difference between an aquarium and the water and fish inside, and so on and so forth i however am the better man and so we shall pass on together without taking a meaningless revenge" said naruto

Still my favorite parody fic to this day.

 

[Satori]

The whole "Sakura and/or Ino are useless fangirls pre-shipuden" thing is really gettong on my nerves.

The "kakashi is a terrible teacher who doesn't teach and wastes all the time he should be teaching" thing too.

Read the actual manga of Sakura's fight in the chuunin exams, it pretty well refutes both.

 

[Spectral]

The whole "Sakura and/or Ino are useless fangirls pre-shipuden" thing is really gettong on my nerves.

The "kakashi is a terrible teacher who doesn't teach and wastes all the time he should be teaching" thing too.

Read the actual manga of Sakura's fight in the chuunin exams, it pretty well refutes both.

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything. He just uses his Sharingan on them to cast genjutsu so he can fap in public while reading Icha Icha. I mean, hell. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get off with your pants on?!

[Edit]

I'm going to use that line in a fic at some point.

 

[Python453]

The "True" Hyuuga bloodline limit and all Hyuuga being (closet) perverts.

That one can be pretty funny, though.

It is partially my fault that this one is as prolific as it is, so you can lay some of the blame for that on my feet. I am the creator of the USCEC, after all.

um sorry but what is uscec????

<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=9180&hl=' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Linkage</a>

 

[cgobyd]

Ok yet again I know that this isn't a fanon thing but rather something based in canon but I loath how people always go on and on about how Shikamaru is Chunin material.

This quote from the last chapter of Divergence by Aotsfan perfectly showcases it and shows why I disagree...

In the stands Kakashi spoke to Asuma in a low tone, "Shikamaru is ready."

Asuma nodded, "He knew it would be hard to win outright because of the match up, and he had a back up plan the whole fight. If Naruto had been able to hit him with the fuma shuriken trick Shikamaru would have been able to take him out as well. If only I could motivate him like this more often."

If you don't see it the reason why he is not ready is because of how lazy he is. I know you don't have to be the most motivated person in the world, and I know you don't have to aspire to greatness, but when your dream is to be mediocre and you don't even put in any effort to become that then you in no way shape or form deserve to be leading people into life and death battles. It doesn't matter how smart/talented you are if you don't have the drive to better yourself then peoples live should not be put in your hands.

Whats more I don't think that canon's explanation of why Shikamaru was promoted was good either. Because Shikamaru had Temari in what was basically the finisher, he could have easily finished her and then quit before his next match started. Quiting right where he did is basically the equivalent of saying "I know we are right in front of this vitally important scroll with a clear route out but you know what lets just leave it. It would be to much trouble to pick it up." I mean one of the requirements for being the leader of a squad IMO is the willingness to finish the assignment.

 

[Satori]

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything.

Kakashi doesn't teach them much ninjutsu onscreen.

But 6 months have passed in about 2 story arcs, so clearly a lot happened offscreen.

Several characters note that sakura has gotten a LOT better since the academy. It's actually considered pretty impressive. If it doesn't look impressive, it's because Sakura isn't a superdupergenius or a clan Kid, and one's impression of 'what is powerful' in the setting is easily skewed by the fact that Naruto basically goes straight to fighting S-class threats (eg, the top 1% who are like 17th level casters while most ninja never even clear 10) as a genin.

So yeah, she's been training, and Kakashi has been teaching, and her improvement is very good given the circumstances. Note that a lot of the people taking the chuunin exams look like they're close to if not in their 20's. The mere fact that Sakura is able to pass the chuunin exams pre-shipuden, only a year or two out of academy, already puts her in the top 10% of ninja.

The whole rookie nine are all ridiculously powerful/skilled for their age even by ninja standards. Naruto just has the misfortune of having to fight foes who are another cut above even that.

 

[ankokudaishogun]

also, remember how everybody did expect Naruto going down with one punch by Kiba.

 

[Spectral]

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything.

Kakashi doesn't teach them much ninjutsu onscreen.

But 6 months have passed in about 2 story arcs, so clearly a lot happened offscreen.

Several characters note that sakura has gotten a LOT better since the academy. It's actually considered pretty impressive. If it doesn't look impressive, it's because Sakura isn't a superdupergenius or a clan Kid, and one's impression of 'what is powerful' in the setting is easily skewed by the fact that Naruto basically goes straight to fighting S-class threats (eg, the top 1% who are like 17th level casters while most ninja never even clear 10) as a genin.

So yeah, she's been training, and Kakashi has been teaching, and her improvement is very good given the circumstances. Note that a lot of the people taking the chuunin exams look like they're close to if not in their 20's. The mere fact that Sakura is able to pass the chuunin exams pre-shipuden, only a year or two out of academy, already puts her in the top 10% of ninja.

The whole rookie nine are all ridiculously powerful/skilled for their age even by ninja standards. Naruto just has the misfortune of having to fight foes who are another cut above even that.

I love how you deleted the joke and then wrote a rebuttal on the primer to said joke.

 

[Targaryen]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

I'm writing a story at the moment. Sarutobi uses this explaination, and it's going well until someone points out that yes, the seal and the kunai are different. But the whole point of the sealing the kunai in the scroll is for ease of carrying until it's time to take it out and stab someone in the face with it. Then things start going downhill.

 

[Leonite]

The whole "Sakura and/or Ino are useless fangirls pre-shipuden" thing is really gettong on my nerves.

The "kakashi is a terrible teacher who doesn't teach and wastes all the time he should be teaching" thing too.

Read the actual manga of Sakura's fight in the chuunin exams, it pretty well refutes both.

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything. He just uses his Sharingan on them to cast genjutsu so he can fap in public while reading Icha Icha. I mean, hell. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get off with your pants on?!

[Edit]

I'm going to use that line in a fic at some point.

I swear some people bait me...

regardless of what Kakashi taught them, it was no more and no less than what Asuma and Kurenai taught their teams: Tree Climbing, which as shown in the Forest of Death Anime arc at the least, can be perrty deadly, shown when Saske uses a foot with the tree climbing exercise to throw Orochimaru's kunai back at him.

 

[Satori]

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything.

Kakashi doesn't teach them much ninjutsu onscreen.

But 6 months have passed in about 2 story arcs, so clearly a lot happened offscreen.

Several characters note that sakura has gotten a LOT better since the academy. It's actually considered pretty impressive. If it doesn't look impressive, it's because Sakura isn't a superdupergenius or a clan Kid, and one's impression of 'what is powerful' in the setting is easily skewed by the fact that Naruto basically goes straight to fighting S-class threats (eg, the top 1% who are like 17th level casters while most ninja never even clear 10) as a genin.

So yeah, she's been training, and Kakashi has been teaching, and her improvement is very good given the circumstances. Note that a lot of the people taking the chuunin exams look like they're close to if not in their 20's. The mere fact that Sakura is able to pass the chuunin exams pre-shipuden, only a year or two out of academy, already puts her in the top 10% of ninja.

The whole rookie nine are all ridiculously powerful/skilled for their age even by ninja standards. Naruto just has the misfortune of having to fight foes who are another cut above even that.

I love how you deleted the joke and then wrote a rebuttal on the primer to said joke.

I love how you try to excuse your clearly false statement with the old "i was joking" ploy.

It wasn't even a funny joke. Try harder.

 

[Spectral]

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything.

Kakashi doesn't teach them much ninjutsu onscreen.

But 6 months have passed in about 2 story arcs, so clearly a lot happened offscreen.

Several characters note that sakura has gotten a LOT better since the academy. It's actually considered pretty impressive. If it doesn't look impressive, it's because Sakura isn't a superdupergenius or a clan Kid, and one's impression of 'what is powerful' in the setting is easily skewed by the fact that Naruto basically goes straight to fighting S-class threats (eg, the top 1% who are like 17th level casters while most ninja never even clear 10) as a genin.

So yeah, she's been training, and Kakashi has been teaching, and her improvement is very good given the circumstances. Note that a lot of the people taking the chuunin exams look like they're close to if not in their 20's. The mere fact that Sakura is able to pass the chuunin exams pre-shipuden, only a year or two out of academy, already puts her in the top 10% of ninja.

The whole rookie nine are all ridiculously powerful/skilled for their age even by ninja standards. Naruto just has the misfortune of having to fight foes who are another cut above even that.

I love how you deleted the joke and then wrote a rebuttal on the primer to said joke.

I love how you try to excuse your clearly false statement with the old "i was joking" ploy.

It wasn't even a funny joke. Try harder.

Well its true. Kakashi doesn't really teach them anything. He just uses his Sharingan on them to cast genjutsu so he can fap in public while reading Icha Icha. I mean, hell. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get off with your pants on?!

I love how you're an idiot.

 

[seitora]

The infamous "kunai/seal" explanation. It's like all stories that have the Kyuubi be revealed have someone use a kunai as an explanation.

Basic explanation: *taking to random person* "When you seal a kunai, is the scroll the weapon, or is it a scroll?"

Not that it's nevcessarily a bad explanation, but it has been used SO often.

I'm writing a story at the moment. Sarutobi uses this explaination, and it's going well until someone points out that yes, the seal and the kunai are different. But the whole point of the sealing the kunai in the scroll is for ease of carrying until it's time to take it out and stab someone in the face with it. Then things start going downhill.

Or "Yes, but I can buy scrolls to seal kunai in by the dozen from the store, thanks to mass-produced fine-tuned seals, but I doubt the same goes for sealing centuries-old malicious manifestations of mass chakra."

 

[Masterly]

I've been dicking around on fanfiction.net and I've been wondering why all of these shitty gang/yakuza fics always seem to involve Naruto and Sasuke porking. Does gang violence typically involve two gay young men going on each other?

I don't get it.

 

[Python453]

I've been dicking around on fanfiction.net and I've been wondering why all of these shitty gang/yakuza fics always seem to involve Naruto and Sasuke porking. Does gang violence typically involve two gay young men going on each other?

I don't get it.

Yaoi fan girl mind.

Don't try to understand it, you'll just end up in a very dark place.

 

[Yorae Rasante]

One thing that irritates me is when people put the team meeting day as the following day from the Mizuki incident. With the whole "photo incident" it is clear there needs to be at least a day between them, a work day since I doubt a photographer would work at a sunday without costing extra. Not counting no one knew Naruto graduated, so clearly he had enough time to deliver his picture while no one else from his class was there. And no, you can't count it as filler since it's in the manga too. It's canon.

It may be understandable (but I still don't like it) if they just ignore the existence of Konohamaru, but then he still makes an appearence at the meeting with the Suna team...

 

[Dumbledork]

I've been dicking around on fanfiction.net and I've been wondering why all of these shitty gang/yakuza fics always seem to involve Naruto and Sasuke porking. Does gang violence typically involve two gay young men going on each other?

I don't get it.

Haven't been to the Naruto section in days. It's simply too depressing to see the shit being posted there. Page after page of crappy fics. I think I haven't seen an interesting Naruto fic in weeks.