Iron Fic 3-6

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#1
Iron Fic 3-6: Forewarned is Forearmed

Knowledge is power. A trite adage, but there's something to that. If you know what will happen, you can act to change it. This challenge (and you have no choice but to accept it) is about the power of foreknowledge.

This doesn't have to be a time travel story unless you want it to be. Perhaps the character has realized what the old prophecies are about, or has been informed of someone else's plans. Or perhaps a character has picked up on a pattern and thus knows what will happen before it does. Or maybe your character knows all because he set everything into motion from the start. And perhaps the the villain is aware that the hero knows his plans and is making adjustments accordingly, or the hero knowing the plan is part of the plan, or vice versa, with the villain knowing the plan and the hero cottoning on to this.

A note: try make the use of the prompt obvious in your fic. An explanation scene works for this, as will scenes showing preparations being made or counter-plans being developed.

Some thoughts on series/plots that might work:

--Death Note
--Valkyria Chronicles
--Star Wars
--Foundation (Asimov)
--Seriously, this works for everything.

The challenge has been made!


 

Latewave

Well-Known Member
#2
A melodious nocturne. A dancing Sky. The greatest judge is here.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#3
Iron Fic 3.6 Entry
Look at your clock, ye youma...

A Sailor Moon One Shot
Start Time : 11:45 AM
End Time : 12:45 PM
Edit/Post Time : 1:00 PM

<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20554' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>The first entry...</a>
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#4
biigoh said:
Iron Fic 3.6 Entry
Look at your clock, ye youma...

A Sailor Moon One Shot
Start Time : 11:45 AM
End Time : 12:45 PM
Edit/Post Time : 1:00 PM

<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20554' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>The first entry...</a>
Mentioned this on the chat, but I'm seeing some typos. You've got until the end of the contest to fix them.
 

Halibel Lecter

Well-Known Member
#5
<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20555' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Got an entry.</a>
 

Herdo

Well-Known Member
#6
My Entry

Fandom: Harry Potter.

This was fun to try. :)
Though I didn't do a good job (length, grammar, plot, characterizations, etc.) but contests must sometimes get bad entries, in order to make other look better. ^_^

Edit: People have complained about the bad quality so I removed the story so they don't have to read it. Saving the result though:
Lightwave said:
I judge.
Writing proficiency 18/20
No obvious flaws.
Theme 17/20
...
Depth 17/20
Not really deep.
Story 15/20
It's okay
Personal Opinion 13/20
It's confusing. What's with the two at the end? Why are they there?
80/100
Archanon said:
Wow. That was terribly written. Seriously.

Random tense changes, choppy sentences, and just general lack of polish. Especially noticeable in Dumbledore's thought processes. Don't continue this.
Zeebee1 said:
I question the judgment of lightwave. That barely deserves a passing grade.
Well, he did say it was for fun. And this was Herdo, did you honestly expect quality?
fallacies said:
Writing Proficiency: 17/20
There were a number of noticeable mechanical issues, relating primarily to tense.
Theme: 17/20
The plots of several of the characters are laid out, but the behavior of the unnamed figures is mystifying and completely without explanation. What sort of plan are they following? Why?
Depth: 14/20
There is no more depth than the canon.
Story/Plot: 12/20
The "if left alone" in the conclusion seems to indicate that the divergence from canon came entirely of the unnamed figures' manipulation -- but Dumbledore appears to have randomly made the choice to travel back in time. Voldemort was baited into committing a violation of the timeline, and "judging him" seems a bit unfair on those grounds. And leaving them alone would be "dangerous?" How? Supposing "leaving them alone" resulted in canon, did Dumbledore and Voldemort canonically find out about the unnamed figures' existence and plans? If so, what were they?
Personal Opinion: 15/20
I wouldn't call this a horrible fic. Ignoring the mechanical issues, it was reasonably engaging -- right up until the final scene.
Overall Score: 75/100
Watashiwa said:
To be honest, this entry is both close to and not at all I what I had in mind when I suggested this topic. Can Herdo stand against the giants he faces?
Writing proficiency: 10
Consistency errors abound in this dish. Perhaps it was served too soon after cooking, or unevenly cooled? (Translation: Tense errors; present tense and past tense mixed.)
Theme: 18
Extra points for the explicit use of the theme.
Depth: 13
I admit some confusion and drop the metaphor to express this. Another faction intervenes in the battle between good and evil as Dumbledore does something extremely out of character. The ramifications of the events in this story are only hinted at and desperately cry for attention (though I liked the explanations given by all involved).
Story/Plot: 17
Again, there is a desperate need for more background information. While the mysterious figures seem reminiscent of Discworld Auditors, there is absolutely no hint of their reasons given, nor is why Dumbledore chose such a drastic course of action well defined. Otherwise quite good.
Personal Opinion: 13
It saddens me that such an otherwise promising piece was so muddled in taste. Better luck next time.
TOTAL: 71
(80+1+1+75+71)=228
228 divided with 5 = 45.6/100 = 46/100
All in all, a much higher score than I expected (I thought I would get around thirty for the reasons I mentions when submitted the entry :p). Still lost though. But it was still fun. ^_^
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
#7
<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20557&view=findpost&p=11554890' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>It smelled Like an Ed, at least...</a>

Because I like to do things different, here's my Iron Fic submission.

Iron Fic 3.6 Entry
It smelled Like an Ed, at least

An Ed, Edd, n Eddy One Shot
Start Time: 3:00 PM
End Time: 5:00 PM
Edit/Post Time: 5:43 PM
 

Latewave

Well-Known Member
#8
The Always first judge grades. Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#10
zeebee1 said:
Why bother? No one will beat Ero.
Is this question not like one that asks "Why bother living? After all, all you do is get born, eat, shit, sleep and then eventually die. Seems like a waste of time struggling to die. Why not die now?"
 

fallacies

Well-Known Member
#11
The Ero-Sennin: 89/100
biigoh: 93/100
Halibel Lecter: 79/100
Herdo: 75/100
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#12
Grand Totals

biigoh: 91+93+84=268, 89.33
Halibel: 83+79+75=237, 79
The_Ero-Sennin: 97+89+93=279, 93
Herdo: 80+75+71=226, 75.33


The scores are in, the judges have spoken: good work Ero-Sennin! You are this week's IRON FIC CHAMPION!!

Thanks for writing and reading all, see you next week (and happy 4th to the Americans in the audienceship).
 

Latewave

Well-Known Member
#13
Ero wins. Fatality.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#16
Not to sound whining or some such... but I'm not seeing the typos you're saying are there.

Unless you're saying my auto-spell check sucks complete ass? :lol:
 
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