Well, GH. I seem to recall being asked to write this, so here it is. The prologue, anyway. ^^;;
A short draft, so be on the look out for crappiness.
---
LOLI LOEV MANAGER û Begin Prologue
---
'Today,' Ichinose Jin, amateur archeologist thought. "Will be the day I tell that evil bastard, Noriyasu, that he can justà justà shove it!"
"Shove what, Jin-san?"
The sudden voice behind Ichinose's back caused him to let out a high-pitched scream and do a rather impressive aerial maneuver that made him face the terror of his world and also gain several meters in distance. His fear increased exponentially as he saw the easy going smile on the devil's face. Even more, he was ready to wet himself as he saw that the demon's spawn was also with him.
Sarah McDougal was an evil nine-year-old brat that Jin wished would just fall into one of the Turtle civilization's many traps and die. It would sure as hell save Ichinose-san a lot of trouble!
"Oh, wellà you knowà" Jin mumbled, before giving a small chuckle.
"Hahaha!" Seta laughed along with him good naturedly, although Jin cringed from the noise of his mortal enemy. Surely, he wasn't laughing with Ichinose-san, no, noà he was obviously laughing AT him in his plight.
"Hey, Jin-san," The professor began. "Mind doing me a favor?"
Jin grit his teeth. This was it. The demon was surely, surely, going to ask him to look after his spawn again. Before, when Jin was just a newbie that didn't know the evil known as Noriyasu Seta, he had lightheartedly agreed, but then came to know the true malevolence that Seta unreleased upon him.
'Yes,' Jin shuddered as he remembered the days gone by. 'Yes, my poor innocence was stolen by that evil.'
But! Those days had past; he was an expert in the ways of evil, now. He knew he simply had to counter Noriyasu's ways in a very simply, but very DIFFICULT way.
Sayingà no.
It was insane, yes, but Ichinose knew he had to accomplish this great feat. Otherwiseà
Ugh.
But first, he had to act as if he didnÆt know the demon's scheme. If he rejected it too soon, thenà well, bad things would happen. Rumors would spread! The other diggers would all go 'hey, hey, did you hear about that guy, Ichinose? Yeah they say he'll just say "NO!!" offhand, better not talk to that guy', or 'God, did you hear about that Ichinose guy, he just yells "NO!!" out of nowhere, better not talk to that guy'.
No, noà he wouldn't fall into Noriyasu's trap. Ichinose Jin was, and would always be a yes-man!
"Err, what is it, Seta-san?" Yes, first he had toà toà listen!
The brown-haired father scratched his head and gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"Well, you see Jin-san," he began, making a gesture to come closer. "àYou seeà The ruins up ahead a bità more dangerous then usual, you see?"
Oh, god, he was going to give an explanation! Jin shuddered. That bastard! Already, the black-haired Japanese could already feel his attention wandering.
'No, Jin-san!' He mentally slapped himself. 'Focus! You have to listen, otherwise you'll fall into his trap and automatically say, 'yes, Seta-san, sure, I can do that!'"
"Yeù Err, I mean, I believe so, Seta-san."
"Well," Seta gave a short glance at his, very bored, adoptive daughter. "Thanks to this and that, I really need to watch out for Sarah a bit more these days. So, considering you're not going to be with us on today's trip, could youà look after her?"
This was it! 'Say no! Say no!' If you don't, your existence as a yes-man would forever be in danger!
"Nà Nà Nà" Jin froze. It was much harder then he thought. Quick, Jin-san, make small talk. "Well, you see, Seta-sanà"
Butà wait. He was trying to desperately say, 'no', to preserve his proud existence as a 'yes-man'? How did that make sense? If he said no, wouldn't that ALSO destroy his existence as a 'yes-man'?
SHIT! Another clever trap!
Jin smiled to himself, quite happy that he discovered the deadly trap beforehand. Now all he had to do was counteract it, easy.
"Why, of course," Jin gave a smirk. "I can look after her, no problem!"
"Ahh, you can?" Seta-san gave a show of relief, obviously a cover for depression. Can't handle defeat very well, eh, Seta?! "That's great!"
Yeah, gr-WAIT! Wasn't thatà wasnÆt that?!
"Yo," Sarah gave an inattentive wave as she fiddled with something she found in her daddy's tent.
SHIT!! A TRIPLE TRAP!
Jin turned back to Seta to quickly take back his words, but it was already too late. Seta just smiled brightly as he vanished.
Crap.
Morosely, Jin turned back to his computer and sighed, now with the looming presence of the spawn of devil over his shoulder as he stared at the digital readout. Soon, the little brat would get bored and thenà destruction, doom, deathà!
"I'm too young to die!" The forty-year-old wailed.
"Hey, idiotà what's this?" The blond bitch's shrill voice caused him to actually look at his computer.
Then, inspiration!
He grinned evilly as he discovered something devilish. Sarah McDougalà didn't know about Futaba!
This wasà THE PERFECT PLAN! This would corrupt the brat and turn her evil back onto that bastard Noriyasu!
"Oh?" Jin gave a superior laugh, masking the evil one he wanted to give in it's place, causing the blond to glare. "You don't know what this is?"
"I wouldn't ask if I knew what it was, bastard!" Sarah held back on drop kicking the jerk; that could wait until after he gave an explanation.
"Hehehà" Jin smirked. "Thisà is an imageboard, the Futaba Channel to be exact. It containsà many, many glorious things. It's where talents beyond most peoples' vision pool their resources to create wonderful visual splendors."
"Yeah, so?" Sarah gave an uninterested shrug, turning away. But Jin grinned widely as he saw the small girl give a side-glance back onto the screen. "I can't read Japanese that well anyway, so it doesn't matter what it is!"
"Well," Jin switched the language and typed a few keys into the navigational bar of his browser. "Since you OBVIOUSLY aren't interested, I suppose I won't tell you about the ENGLISH site of Futabaà"
"Eh?" Sarah shot him a surprised look. "There's an Englishà place of it?"
"But of course," Jin showed her the computer screen, "Welcome to 4chan."
---
LOLI LOEV MANAGER û End Prologue
---
This is Sarah/Keitaro. Sarah is nine years old (will be ten when she goes back to the Hinata-sou, with more than six months worth of 4chan influence absorbed into her). This will be a lemon (so any future updates will be placed in that section). There won't be any 4chanese in the dialogue and such. There WILL be /b/ness, but any intentional misspellings ('MOAR', 'Buttsecks', 'GBT/?/', etc.) will be placed in a non-/b/ format (i.e., proper English, or as near as it can be). And yes, I realize I'm ignoring timelines (4chan was launched in 2003, and Futaba in 2001, Love Hina starts in 1998, and I'm setting Sarah's finding of 4chan somewhere in 1999), but I don't really care. *shrug*
Hmm... that's it, I think? Oh wait, and in case you're wondering, Jin (thankfully) won't be showing up again. Hell, this is a draft, so he might not live past it.
A short draft, so be on the look out for crappiness.
---
LOLI LOEV MANAGER û Begin Prologue
---
'Today,' Ichinose Jin, amateur archeologist thought. "Will be the day I tell that evil bastard, Noriyasu, that he can justà justà shove it!"
"Shove what, Jin-san?"
The sudden voice behind Ichinose's back caused him to let out a high-pitched scream and do a rather impressive aerial maneuver that made him face the terror of his world and also gain several meters in distance. His fear increased exponentially as he saw the easy going smile on the devil's face. Even more, he was ready to wet himself as he saw that the demon's spawn was also with him.
Sarah McDougal was an evil nine-year-old brat that Jin wished would just fall into one of the Turtle civilization's many traps and die. It would sure as hell save Ichinose-san a lot of trouble!
"Oh, wellà you knowà" Jin mumbled, before giving a small chuckle.
"Hahaha!" Seta laughed along with him good naturedly, although Jin cringed from the noise of his mortal enemy. Surely, he wasn't laughing with Ichinose-san, no, noà he was obviously laughing AT him in his plight.
"Hey, Jin-san," The professor began. "Mind doing me a favor?"
Jin grit his teeth. This was it. The demon was surely, surely, going to ask him to look after his spawn again. Before, when Jin was just a newbie that didn't know the evil known as Noriyasu Seta, he had lightheartedly agreed, but then came to know the true malevolence that Seta unreleased upon him.
'Yes,' Jin shuddered as he remembered the days gone by. 'Yes, my poor innocence was stolen by that evil.'
But! Those days had past; he was an expert in the ways of evil, now. He knew he simply had to counter Noriyasu's ways in a very simply, but very DIFFICULT way.
Sayingà no.
It was insane, yes, but Ichinose knew he had to accomplish this great feat. Otherwiseà
Ugh.
But first, he had to act as if he didnÆt know the demon's scheme. If he rejected it too soon, thenà well, bad things would happen. Rumors would spread! The other diggers would all go 'hey, hey, did you hear about that guy, Ichinose? Yeah they say he'll just say "NO!!" offhand, better not talk to that guy', or 'God, did you hear about that Ichinose guy, he just yells "NO!!" out of nowhere, better not talk to that guy'.
No, noà he wouldn't fall into Noriyasu's trap. Ichinose Jin was, and would always be a yes-man!
"Err, what is it, Seta-san?" Yes, first he had toà toà listen!
The brown-haired father scratched his head and gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"Well, you see Jin-san," he began, making a gesture to come closer. "àYou seeà The ruins up ahead a bità more dangerous then usual, you see?"
Oh, god, he was going to give an explanation! Jin shuddered. That bastard! Already, the black-haired Japanese could already feel his attention wandering.
'No, Jin-san!' He mentally slapped himself. 'Focus! You have to listen, otherwise you'll fall into his trap and automatically say, 'yes, Seta-san, sure, I can do that!'"
"Yeù Err, I mean, I believe so, Seta-san."
"Well," Seta gave a short glance at his, very bored, adoptive daughter. "Thanks to this and that, I really need to watch out for Sarah a bit more these days. So, considering you're not going to be with us on today's trip, could youà look after her?"
This was it! 'Say no! Say no!' If you don't, your existence as a yes-man would forever be in danger!
"Nà Nà Nà" Jin froze. It was much harder then he thought. Quick, Jin-san, make small talk. "Well, you see, Seta-sanà"
Butà wait. He was trying to desperately say, 'no', to preserve his proud existence as a 'yes-man'? How did that make sense? If he said no, wouldn't that ALSO destroy his existence as a 'yes-man'?
SHIT! Another clever trap!
Jin smiled to himself, quite happy that he discovered the deadly trap beforehand. Now all he had to do was counteract it, easy.
"Why, of course," Jin gave a smirk. "I can look after her, no problem!"
"Ahh, you can?" Seta-san gave a show of relief, obviously a cover for depression. Can't handle defeat very well, eh, Seta?! "That's great!"
Yeah, gr-WAIT! Wasn't thatà wasnÆt that?!
"Yo," Sarah gave an inattentive wave as she fiddled with something she found in her daddy's tent.
SHIT!! A TRIPLE TRAP!
Jin turned back to Seta to quickly take back his words, but it was already too late. Seta just smiled brightly as he vanished.
Crap.
Morosely, Jin turned back to his computer and sighed, now with the looming presence of the spawn of devil over his shoulder as he stared at the digital readout. Soon, the little brat would get bored and thenà destruction, doom, deathà!
"I'm too young to die!" The forty-year-old wailed.
"Hey, idiotà what's this?" The blond bitch's shrill voice caused him to actually look at his computer.
Then, inspiration!
He grinned evilly as he discovered something devilish. Sarah McDougalà didn't know about Futaba!
This wasà THE PERFECT PLAN! This would corrupt the brat and turn her evil back onto that bastard Noriyasu!
"Oh?" Jin gave a superior laugh, masking the evil one he wanted to give in it's place, causing the blond to glare. "You don't know what this is?"
"I wouldn't ask if I knew what it was, bastard!" Sarah held back on drop kicking the jerk; that could wait until after he gave an explanation.
"Hehehà" Jin smirked. "Thisà is an imageboard, the Futaba Channel to be exact. It containsà many, many glorious things. It's where talents beyond most peoples' vision pool their resources to create wonderful visual splendors."
"Yeah, so?" Sarah gave an uninterested shrug, turning away. But Jin grinned widely as he saw the small girl give a side-glance back onto the screen. "I can't read Japanese that well anyway, so it doesn't matter what it is!"
"Well," Jin switched the language and typed a few keys into the navigational bar of his browser. "Since you OBVIOUSLY aren't interested, I suppose I won't tell you about the ENGLISH site of Futabaà"
"Eh?" Sarah shot him a surprised look. "There's an Englishà place of it?"
"But of course," Jin showed her the computer screen, "Welcome to 4chan."
---
LOLI LOEV MANAGER û End Prologue
---
This is Sarah/Keitaro. Sarah is nine years old (will be ten when she goes back to the Hinata-sou, with more than six months worth of 4chan influence absorbed into her). This will be a lemon (so any future updates will be placed in that section). There won't be any 4chanese in the dialogue and such. There WILL be /b/ness, but any intentional misspellings ('MOAR', 'Buttsecks', 'GBT/?/', etc.) will be placed in a non-/b/ format (i.e., proper English, or as near as it can be). And yes, I realize I'm ignoring timelines (4chan was launched in 2003, and Futaba in 2001, Love Hina starts in 1998, and I'm setting Sarah's finding of 4chan somewhere in 1999), but I don't really care. *shrug*
Hmm... that's it, I think? Oh wait, and in case you're wondering, Jin (thankfully) won't be showing up again. Hell, this is a draft, so he might not live past it.
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