Harry Potter Lord Raine does Partially Kissed Hero

[Kibbles]

... Do muslims even have a precedent for killing 'witches' or whatever? Serious question.

Not really, pre-1230 they were a pretty tolerant lot. From 1230 to 1457 they turned rather introspective, the Mongol invasion really did a number on them. After the fall of Constantinople and the Ottoman Sultans also claiming the title Caliph Islam remained a relatively tolerant and moderately peaceful religion (they had their issues, don't get me wrong, including one hilarious and serious proposal to cast away modernity by banning everything 'invented' after Mohammed's time ... which happened to include dancing).

Certainly, this is more a matter of necessity. Ottoman holdings were pretty diverse, so some measure of tolerance had to be (and was) imposed. Thing is, yeah, they were pretty nice, better than the Eastern Roman Empire had been for sure. For a lot of their history, better than the European nations too (if you were an infidel you got to pay a special tax ... it wasn't 'convert or die' that seemed to dominate Western thinking for a very long time).

Things sort of started going downhill in WWI, when the British decided to stir up the Arabs with the intent of weakening the Ottomans. Didn't really work, of course, but their success was in installing the house of al-Saud in what would become Saudi Arabia ... and removing the Ottoman Sultan (well, to be fair, he did that to himself, Mustapha Kemal did offer a constitutional monarchy, but was refused as the Sultan didn't want to limit his powers, you see ... at which point Kemal went 'fine, I can do it without you' and he did).

This signified the ending of the more tolerant brand of Islam (espoused by the Ottomans and their clients) and the ascension of a rather harsher variant espoused by the house of al-Saud. Coupled with the typical colonial shenanigans of the Great Powers of the period, well, you can see the results today.

EDIT: I seem to have taken off on a tangent. To answer the question, certainly there were instances of mob rule (rather rarely, actually), but never anything organized, certainly not on the level Christian Europe instituted. This is, mind you, medieval and early modern Islam. I'm not enough of an expert to say anything about the situation post 1918.

 

[Lord Raine]

A man holding a phone to one ear looked to the queen. "Parliament demands that you declare war to enable the launching of our missiles."

For once in her life unable to speak, the queen nodded gravely. British missiles soon sped into the sky.

Okay, at this point, can we stop pretending that Lionheart views the Queen as anything else than the US President with a crown and funny dress? Seriously. I'll admit I haven't memorized the books, but I'm pretty sure she does not have the authority to declare war, and has never possessed the authority to authorize nuclear strikes.


All of this is ignoring the obvious. Why is the default response to magic being revealed to the world as a fundamental force of reality FUCKING LAUNCH EVERYTHING? Don't we have more pressing concerns, like my God, food, housing, and water at the wave of a wand, or, for that matter, INFINITE CLEAN FREE ENERGY FOR ALL?

BUT LORD RAINE NOTHING IN CANON SAYS AN ENCHANTED WHEEL WOULD SPIN FOREVER

No, but I never said shit about wheels, now did I, Advocate? I'm talking about Gubrathean Fire, canonically stated to burn forevermore and be utterly inextinguishable. It consumes no fuel, and can never be put out.

Harry Potter and the Steampunk Renaissance?

It's more likely than you think.

"Let the chosen light the fires of industry, the few with the gift forge a path to the future. Infinity has become our birthright, and it shall be our legacy. By blood and by sweat, by steam and arcana, the stars shall be ours, as surely as this Earth."

 

[Marth]

*saves pic*

Got any more?

 

[Glimmervoid]

Okay, at this point, can we stop pretending that Lionheart views the Queen as anything else than the US President with a crown and funny dress? Seriously. I'll admit I haven't memorized the books, but I'm pretty sure she does not have the authority to declare war...

Technically speaking, the power to make war and declare peace does rest with the Crown and not Parliament. This is unlike the United States where the power to make war rests with Congress not the President. Parliament is Sovereign, though, so if it wanted to take the power for itself it could but at present it remains a Royal Prerogative. In practise, though, the power is only exercised on the advice of the Prime Minister and any queen who tried to do it on her own would be ignored and a law passed stripping her of the prerogative and probably any other powers too.

 

[Chuckg]

No, but I never said shit about wheels, now did I, Advocate? I'm talking about Gubrathean Fire, canonically stated to burn forevermore and be utterly inextinguishable. It consumes no fuel, and can never be put out.

Harry Potter and the Steampunk Renaissance?

Hey, even a modern nuclear power plant works by using the heat from the nuclear reaction to... heat water into steam. Which is then used to spin turbines, which then drive electrical generators and/or drive shafts. The same type of ordinary steam turbines that have been used for electrical power generation and propulsion for, like, a century.

So, yeah, I can entirely believe in modern -- not just steampunk -- industry driven by magically-powered flame, because the heat source is irrelevant, it all ultimately goes to the same power plant and comes out as the same ol' current anyway.

Technomagic is a very very deep fictional well, full of nigh-infinite possibility.

Add: That Perfect Lionheart completely failed to use in any remotely entertaining fashion. Then again, 'pissing in the well and trying to ruin it for other people' is the capsule description of his entire fanfiction career.

 

[Lord Raine]

I'm of the opinion that Steampunk is what would happen if wizarding culture collided with Muggle know-how. Muggles would probably just start enchanting what they've already got, and create a Modern Arcana scenario if introduced to magic, but the wizards are much more traditional and old-fashioned, almost to the point of obtuseness. I think they would much more likely create a Steampunk asthetic, if only because it seems to be a style and era they thoroughly understand.

Muggles would just start enchanting submachine guns and air conditioners. The wizards? I'm seriously thinking they would invent Steampunk. In my mind, in my personal viewing, literally thing only thing stopping a Steampunk Renaissance from happening is some wizard or witch somewhere to realize that Gubrathean Fire is an everleasting source of clean energy that can be effortlessly converted into steam power.

This is possible. This can be DONE. Hell, I've got a fic idea where it's Harry who puts this together, works out how to cast the Fire, and then starts his own Steampunk company marketed towards muggleborns, halfbloods, and progressive wizards. If you're going to make Harry one of the richest wizards on the planet, why have him inherit it, when he could earn it?

 

[Cynical Kyle]

I'm of the opinion that Steampunk is what would happen if wizarding culture collided with Muggle know-how. Muggles would probably just start enchanting what they've already got, and create a Modern Arcana scenario if introduced to magic, but the wizards are much more traditional and old-fashioned, almost to the point of obtuseness. I think they would much more likely create a Steampunk asthetic, if only because it seems to be a style and era they thoroughly understand.

Muggles would just start enchanting submachine guns and air conditioners. The wizards? I'm seriously thinking they would invent Steampunk. In my mind, in my personal viewing, literally thing only thing stopping a Steampunk Renaissance from happening is some wizard or witch somewhere to realize that Gubrathean Fire is an everleasting source of clean energy that can be effortlessly converted into steam power.

This is possible. This can be DONE. Hell, I've got a fic idea where it's Harry who puts this together, works out how to cast the Fire, and then starts his own Steampunk company marketed towards muggleborns, halfbloods, and progressive wizards. If you're going to make Harry one of the richest wizards on the planet, why have him inherit it, when he could earn it?

Because making him work for it is obviously too much of an hassle to your typical fanfic author. That would actually require some planning, perish the thought! It's much more easier to stick to creating SI-fantasies which wank "Harry" and bash Voldemort, Ron, Snape etc.

Picture related to your idea.

 

[Python453]

This is possible. This can be DONE. Hell, I've got a fic idea where it's Harry who puts this together, works out how to cast the Fire, and then starts his own Steampunk company marketed towards muggleborns, halfbloods, and progressive wizards. If you're going to make Harry one of the richest wizards on the planet, why have him inherit it, when he could earn it?

Because than bad authors would have no ideas at all?

And, why stop there? That's one thing I hate in Harry Potter fics. "Harry does X to improve the Wizarding World, but he doesn't share this improvement with the Muggle World because fuck Muggles. Jesus, next they'll want the vote."

 

[Lord Raine]

This is possible. This can be DONE. Hell, I've got a fic idea where it's Harry who puts this together, works out how to cast the Fire, and then starts his own Steampunk company marketed towards muggleborns, halfbloods, and progressive wizards. If you're going to make Harry one of the richest wizards on the planet, why have him inherit it, when he could earn it?

Because than bad authors would have no ideas at all?

And, why stop there? That's one thing I hate in Harry Potter fics. "Harry does X to improve the Wizarding World, but he doesn't share this improvement with the Muggle World because fuck Muggles. Jesus, next they'll want the vote."

Possibly because the Muggles would ask awkward questions about how you managed to spin infinite clean energy out of a steam engine. You couldn't really market Steampunk technology to the mundane world without blowing the Statute wide open.

Most of the 'improvements' Harry tends to make involve things that are heavily involved in magic (naturally), and would thus not really be suitable for mass introduction to the entire world. Unless he manages to invent the cure for cancer with Dudley's discarded chemistry set or something after being disbarred from doing his actual homework, in which case yeah. That would make Harry a humongous dick.

Queen Elizabeth's attention was brought to the sound of slurping. Normally she could ignore such a thing, but since everyone who SHOULD be there in that deeply buried bunker was feeling tension thick enough to strangle them as they watched their world and way of life end...

Her eyes caught hold of a child standing by her elbow chasing about the last of a vanilla milkshake with her straw. It took the Queen of England NO time at all to identify this person as Queen Alice of Wonderland.

"I thought we'd removed all the mirrors from out of this place?" Elizabeth the Second observed dryly.

"You have a chess program on your computers," Queen Alice informed her casually, still chasing about the last of her milkshake. "It served well enough."

Except that it couldn't have, because you made magic, ESPECIALLY fairy magic like Alice's, utterly incompatible with technology on every possible level, solely to justify Harry not running around with a magical gun. Because God forbid Harry use an enchanted gun to kill the hordes of vampires and werewolves. That might actually be cool.

Plothole, HOOOOOOOOOO~

 

[Chuckg]

Especially since I can think offhand of ways this was entirely unnecessary.

'I had thought we had removed all the mirrors from this place?'

'Do you really think you can remove every square millimetre of reflective surface from a room with this much metal and glass and polish used in it? I came through that bit of chrome over there.'

'I had thought that the mirror need be large enough for a person to pass through, as if it were a portal?'

*Queen Alice smiles and holds up a small bottle labelled "DRINK ME", and then goes back to nibbling on her last bit of cake*

So not just a plothole, but a plothole that was utterly unnecessary if he'd just remembered the original Wonderland. Particularly the size-changing magic.

 

[Obfuscated]

Hey, Lord Raine, if you need an additional source of anger consider this challenge:

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Harry_Potter/10/0/1/1/0/0/0/0/0/1/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Harry_Potte.../1/0/0/0/0/0/1/</a>

Just read the summaries WITHOUT getting very angry. Then post the results.

This post brought to you by the Khorne Research Project: Bringing Chaos to a planet near you today.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

Hey, Lord Raine, if you need an additional source of anger consider this challenge:

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Harry_Potter/10/0/1/1/0/0/0/0/0/1/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Harry_Potte.../1/0/0/0/0/0/1/</a>

Just read the summaries WITHOUT getting very angry. Then post the results.

This post brought to you by the Khorne Research Project: Bringing Chaos to a planet near you today.

OH GOD MY EYES! SOMEONE RIP OUT MY EYES!

 

[Lord Raine]

Queen Alice had taken a moment to finish off another bite of her burger. "The whole thing got automated with runes covered with Notice Me Not charms simply ages ago. There have been a few false alarms, it's true. But transfigurations cast by ordinary mortal wizards don't last forever, even when they use runes, so by the time any maintenance crews were checking over those bombs the radioactive materials were back in place, so you mundanes never noticed anything out of the ordinary. But it made everyone magical feel so much better to know that any potential nuclear holocaust was more of a joke than an actual danger. You guys are throwing giant pies at one another."

Except that there's a common, everyday charm that renders explosives completely harmless, and scales up infinitely. Remember those amulets that make you bulletproof, bombproof, and, wait for it now, nukeproof out to a certain radius, by throwing up an invisible, undetectable bubble?

Why not just stick one of those on the nuke, so when it goes off, it goes off, but doesn't kill anybody except the poor bastard it actually physically lands on? You don't have to keep coming back, there's no worry about it wearing out quickly, and there's no danger of a surprise inspection cracking open an ICBM and finding pudding inside.

 

[Chuckg]

Even better. There's a common everyday canonical charm that makes unattended physical objects just disappear. Why not take that, link it to those handy Contingency spell effects he uses for everything else in this story, and then set the trigger to be 'when the missile is launched'?

Congratulations. You now have ICBMS that use Vanishing charms to make the plutonium go away the instant they get more than ten feet off the launch pad. But until and unless the missile is actually launched, nothing's missing and no non-magical inspection reveals anything wrong.

Shazam.

Add: Or, alternately, doctor up some lead spheres to look like plutonium, and use the Switching Spell a few thousand times.

 

[Lord Raine]

"There are two little exceptions. One is the one everyone agreed upon - whichever group launched the first nukes in an exchange would not have any missiles targeted at them rendered harmless, to discourage this sort of thing in the future. So the Muslims are about to have a VERY bad day."

"And the other exception?" Queen Elizabeth asked, voice strained, everyone else hanging on their every word.

Alice finished wiping the crumbs and dabs of ketchup off her fingers. "Oh, the Dark Lord you've got in control of the British magical world refused to have anything to do with such agreements. So, because Dumbledore refused to let Britain participate, all of your weapons are live."

Except that that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, because the last thing Dumbledore would want would be weapons rattling around that he has no control over that can glass entire continents. Your Dumbledore would leap at the chance to have them disabled.

And even if he didn't, for some crazy reason that only exists in your head, Dumbledore has never been powerful enough or influential enough to go against something that the entire world decided to do. He's good. He's not that good. Not like this.

 

[Obfuscated]

Even better. There's a common everyday canonical charm that makes unattended physical objects just disappear. Why not take that, link it to those handy Contingency spell effects he uses for everything else in this story, and then set the trigger to be 'when the missile is launched'?

Congratulations. You now have ICBMS that use Vanishing charms to make the plutonium go away the instant they get more than ten feet off the launch pad. But until and unless the missile is actually launched, nothing's missing and no non-magical inspection reveals anything wrong.

Shazam.

Add: Or, alternately, doctor up some lead spheres to look like plutonium, and use the Switching Spell a few thousand times.

That isn't PKH!Harry enough.

Obviously the easiest solution would be to use your Fairy time power to go back to beginning of the universe and alter the phsyical constants allowing for the nuclear fission of uranium and plutonium.

That is absolutely safe, sane and sound without any repercussion whatsoever. Also, possible.

 

[Lord Raine]

Alice luxuriously tasted her ice cream Sunday, removing the spoon from her mouth only once it was thoroughly cleansed of the last ice cream molecule. As she went for the next scoop, she explained, "There are certain factors that lead to stability in any culture, and virtually all of those are at all-time lows. Uncertainty leads to anxiety and stress, and very little of a muggle's life is certain anymore. Gone are the days when it was the norm for a man to graduate, get a job, then retire after twenty uninterrupted years of steady, stable, satisfying employment at the same company."

The blonde girl raised her blue eyes to sweep the chamber. "Rome did not fall in a day. But it did suffer through a series of declines that ultimately led to its glory being that of a museum piece rather than a power in world affairs."

"I don't understand," one of the technicians bravely volunteered.

Neither do I. Rome fell because of barbarian hordes, PLUS all of that other shit. And the modern world is a hell of a lot more resilient than Rome.

It's telling that, in your stated mission to "fuck over the modern world in modern world versus magic," not only did you actually send someone back in time specifically to sabotage the entire modern world solely so that it would crumble at a designated time, thereby giving your own side a colossal handicap and in doing so indirectly admitting that magic needs a handicap to win in the first place, but even with that, it's still not reasonable.

Holy shit I don't even know where to start.

 

[Lord Raine]

Queen Alice huffed, looking directly at him. "How many oil wells got destroyed today? How much does your world depend upon that oil?

Gubrathean Fiiire~

Also, the oil is far too deep for nuclear strikes to destroy the wells. Apparently, Lionheart is under the impression that you can't dig six feet down in the Middle East without hitting black mud. Those wells are thousands of feet down. If anything, this would be a free oil to first-comers bonanza. Sure, you'd have to deal with the fallout, but still. Fee oil!

Turkey is a Muslim country, and most pipelines for natural gas or oil for Europe pass through there. That country is getting reduced to craters today."

Turkey also isn't known for it's oil production. What, do you think any country with Muslims just magically has oil in it? The fuck?

Also, even if the pipeline thing was true, and it's kind of not, that's not a big deal. Pipe destruction has happened before. They've got safety cutoffs, so it's not like breaching an artery, and pipe is pretty easy to replace, all things considered.

No, what you've got are a million special interest groups all fighting to have the biggest share.

This doesn't even make sense. What special interest groups? Do you mean countries? No, you just said the countries would ration it. Do you mean groups like Democrats and Mormons? I'm pretty sure they don't have private reserves of oil on tap.

This doesn't even make sense.

It will take a while, but your world is going to fall."

No it won't. What will happen is the world will shift into a lower gear as far as living standards are concerned. The luxuries of the modern world will die. Temporarily. The modern world won't. You couldn't destroy the modern world without killing off every human that makes it up.

The oil vanishing is not the apocalypse. I hate to beak it to you. It's just the closing bell on one era, and the opening of the next. Presumably based on solar, geothermal, and hydroelectric power.

And Gubrathean Fire. Because, well. You know. Infinite clean free energy.

And being one 'Global Community' and one 'World Market' tied everything together so it will all collapse as one.

That's not how it works, Lionheart. We could cut all ties to outside influence if we wanted to. We just don't, because it's not profitable.

There is not any nation that can support itself as it is without imports."

America. Yeah. We can. Britain could as well. You're confusing necessity with convenience. We import out of convenience. All major nations are capable of standing alone if they have to. They would just prefer not to.


Yeah, I'm just going to start commenting on the big stuff only. We'll be here all month otherwise.

 

[pidl]

Queen Alice huffed, looking directly at him. "How many oil wells got destroyed today? How much does your world depend upon that oil?

Gubrathean Fiiire~

Also, the oil is far too deep for nuclear strikes to destroy the wells. Apparently, Lionheart is under the impression that you can't dig six feet down in the Middle East without hitting black mud. Those wells are thousands of feet down. If anything, this would be a free oil to first-comers bonanza. Sure, you'd have to deal with the fallout, but still. Fee oil!

Turkey is a Muslim country, and most pipelines for natural gas or oil for Europe pass through there. That country is getting reduced to craters today."

Turkey also isn't known for it's oil production. What, do you think any country with Muslims just magically has oil in it? The fuck?

Also, even if the pipeline thing was true, and it's kind of not, that's not a big deal. Pipe destruction has happened before. They've got safety cutoffs, so it's not like breaching an artery, and pipe is pretty easy to replace, all things considered.

No, what you've got are a million special interest groups all fighting to have the biggest share.

This doesn't even make sense. What special interest groups? Do you mean countries? No, you just said the countries would ration it. Do you mean groups like Democrats and Mormons? I'm pretty sure they don't have private reserves of oil on tap.

This doesn't even make sense.

It will take a while, but your world is going to fall."

No it won't. What will happen is the world will shift into a lower gear as far as living standards are concerned. The luxuries of the modern world will die. Temporarily. The modern world won't. You couldn't destroy the modern world without killing off every human that makes it up.

The oil vanishing is not the apocalypse. I hate to beak it to you. It's just the closing bell on one era, and the opening of the next. Presumably based on solar, geothermal, and hydroelectric power.

And Gubrathean Fire. Because, well. You know. Infinite clean free energy.

And being one 'Global Community' and one 'World Market' tied everything together so it will all collapse as one.

That's not how it works, Lionheart. We could cut all ties to outside influence if we wanted to. We just don't, because it's not profitable.

There is not any nation that can support itself as it is without imports."

America. Yeah. We can. Britain could as well. You're confusing necessity with convenience. We import out of convenience. All major nations are capable of standing alone if they have to. They would just prefer not to.


Yeah, I'm just going to start commenting on the big stuff only. We'll be here all month otherwise.

Am I just having a serious feeling of dÚjÓ vu, or haven't you already done that part?

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

There is not any nation that can support itself as it is without imports."

America. Yeah. We can. Britain could as well. You're confusing necessity with convenience. We import out of convenience. All major nations are capable of standing alone if they have to. They would just prefer not to.

Isn't a prerequisit to being considered a major world power that you can support yourself independent of other countries if the deen arose?

Also pidl you're not the only one

 

[Python453]

I'm amazed at how one event (like Harry reading more books) can lead to a war between Muggles and Wizards.

 

[sworded]

I'm amazed at how one event (like Harry reading more books) can lead to a war between Muggles and Wizards.

Just goes to show that the Durseleys never should have let him out of the cupboard. Yep, Ma and Pa Durseley knew evil when they saw it, and if they had had their way there would be none of this 'it's alright for the the majority of the world's population to die off and descend in to barbarism due to the elimination of needed supplies and magical buggering of how reality works so long as the miniscule amount of people who worship The Boy Who Lived as their one true savior are just fine and dandy.' Sad story really, but that's what happens when you let the Anti-Christ win. :huh.:

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

I'm amazed at how one event (like Harry reading more books) can lead to a war between Muggles and Wizards.

Just goes to show that the Durseleys never should have let him out of the cupboard. Yep, Ma and Pa Durseley knew evil when they saw it, and if they had had their way there would be none of this 'it's alright for the the majority of the world's population to die off and descend in to barbarism due to the elimination of needed supplies and magical buggering of how reality works so long as the miniscule amount of people who worship The Boy Who Lived as their one true savior are just fine and dandy.' Sad story really, but that's what happens when you let the Anti-Christ win. :huh.:

This needs to be made into a fic. I shall award the writer access to my loli warehouse.

 

[ragnarok1337]

Makes me glad I gave up on PLH's stuff long ago. I think I got to the 50th or so chapter before I finally said "screw it" and left.

I'm curious. I wonder if PLH is a troll or not?

 

[pidl]

Aha, I knew I already read that part before. <a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=18521&st=720' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Page 25.</a>