Mad Shipping

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Okay, basic premise: I will start off by posting a random pairing of two characters from any comics universe and any variant on that universe (Animated Marvel, DCAU, etc). The next poster writes how a date between the two of them would go, either as a snippet or just a description. That poster then posts the next pairing. Given this is mainly for fun, crack pairings are totally in as well as crossovers.

So, let's start this thing off with something relatively tame:

Any Teenaged Spider-Man/Supergirl (DCAU)

 

[paulo_j1983]

His spidey strength would protect him from getting crushed.

Jimmy Olsen/She-Hulk

 

[paulo_j1983]

His spidey strength will protect him from being crushed.

Jimmy Olsen/She-Hulk

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Jimmy Olsen/She-Hulk

Jimmy and Lois have a lot more to talk about.

Raven/Bucky

 

[paulo_j1983]

Raven/Bucky

Both Emos.

Nightwing/Ms Marvel

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Nightwing/Ms Marvel

Nightwing ends up with a broken pelvis. Several times.

Barbara Gordon/Tony Stark

 

[cgobyd]

Barbara Gordon/Tony Stark

Tony Stark quickly cheats on her.

Tony Stark quickly finds himself in prison for fraud, embezzlement, terrorism, and enough child-pornography to sicken Mephisto.

Powergirl / Ms. Marvel

 

[sworded]

Powergirl / Ms. Marvel

The two eventually realize Plastic Man is spying on their date disguised as furniture and spend the rest of the evening finding ways to beat him.

Steve Rogers / Courtney Whitmore, Star Girl

 

[paulo_j1983]

Steve Rogers / Courtney Whitmore, Star Girl

The paparazzi got blinded by the stars they were wear

Deathstroke/Black Widow II

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Deathstroke/Black Widow II

They either kill eachother or end up in bed. Either way, somebody's going to get hurt.

Billy Bateson (Captain Marvel)/Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk)

 

[Estrecca]

Billy Bateson (Captain Marvel)/Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk)

All goes well, until the matter of Billy's actual biological age is touched upon. They have a fun time together, but Jennifer won't let him get beyond first base until he is legal.

Doctor Doom/Deathstroke the Terminator.

 

[sworded]

Doctor Doom/Deathstroke the Terminator.

After learning that some people view their business meetings as being signs romantic involvement they cause much suffering and pain onto those who would besmirch their names.

Mr. Mxtzptlk / Female Loki

 

[ttestagr]

Doctor Doom/Deathstroke the Terminator.

After learning that some people view their business meetings as being signs romantic involvement they cause much suffering and pain onto those who would besmirch their names.

Mr. Mxtzptlk / Female Loki

Loki decides he/she needs a new champion to defeat Thor. Cue a 5th dimensional date and an end result being an emo teenage who hides in the Image universe.


Wonder Woman/Spawn

 

[zeebee1]

Which Spawn?

 

[sworded]

Wonder Woman/Spawn

Spawn has to cancel because he has to stop an attempted conquest of Hell by <a href='http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/02/28/episode-390-a-deal-with-the-devil/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Black Mage</a>, his callendor just got filled for the forseeable future.

Wolverine/Poison Ivy

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Wolverine/Poison Ivy

Whe she finds out that A: He can't die from any of her toxins, B: He can't be affected by her pheromones, and C: He can keep going forever, she never lets him go. Ever.

Lana Lane-Kent (Daughter of Superman)/Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)

 

[jaredstar]

?
Lana Lane-Kent (Daughter of Superman)/Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)?

Clark informs Terry that if he doesn't treat her right there is a handy pocket dimension that he can be thrown into.


Spiderman/Harley Quinn

 

[Hashasheen]

Wolverine/Poison Ivy

Whe she finds out that A: He can't die from any of her toxins, B: He can't be affected by her pheromones, and C: He can keep going forever, she never lets him go. Ever.

Lana Lane-Kent (Daughter of Superman)/Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)

Are heavily monitered by Bruce and Clark during the entire date, which they both realise and consquently ruins the date. In the end, they become good friends who bitch about their parents to each other.

Trauma (Terrance Wards)/Powergirl

 

[DhampyrX2]

á
Lana Lane-Kent (Daughter of Superman)/Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)á

Clark informs Terry that if he doesn't treat her right there is a handy pocket dimension that he can be thrown into.


Spiderman/Harley Quinn

And Bruce promptly tells Clark to mind his own business and stay out of Gotham. Bruce can threaten his own son into acting appropriately, TYVM.


Black Widow - Bruce Wayne/Batman

 

[sith2886]

á
Lana Lane-Kent (Daughter of Superman)/Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)á

Clark informs Terry that if he doesn't treat her right there is a handy pocket dimension that he can be thrown into.


Spiderman/Harley Quinn

And Bruce promptly tells Clark to mind his own business and stay out of Gotham. Bruce can threaten his own son into acting appropriately, TYVM.


Black Widow - Bruce Wayne/Batman

Spiderman/Harley

He spends the first few hours on her couch talking about his past, he spends the rest of the night in her bed laughing at how much the Joker is missing.

Black widow/Bruce Wayne (Batman)

They meet at a rare antiquities auction in Japan, both perusing a lead on the LoA and Hand. They Exchange small talk, maintaining each others cover as they walk around the Gallery. its not until the lights go out that their fun really begins.

 

[akun50]

Spiderman/Harley

Spiderman's wisecracking would return in full force, completely wiping out the emo-crap.

Harley would become infinitely more annoying to everyone with web-based pranks. Officials will have to get their chairs checked for web-whoopie-cushions.


Wolverine/Jean Grey

 

[sith2886]

Logan had always wanted to know about his past, after Jean died and the Shi'ar torched her family he really didn't give a damn about his future.

Laura (X-23)/Elixer

and to keep the crosses going

Lilandra/Queen Hippolyta

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Laura (X-23)/Elixer

Lilandra/Queen Hippolyta

Laura discovers the truly freaky parts of her sexuality, and Elixir is the only man who can keep up. She thus never, ever lets him go. Lucky Bastard...

Interstellar relations improve dramatically when the Amazon's Tantric Arts are traded for the Shii'Ar Empire's various guides to Star Girl Love. Where the Boys Aren't becomes an intergalactic sensation.


Next up: Black Canary/Captain America

And just for fun:

Love Triangle between Mogo (The Green Lantern Planet)/Earth/Ego the Living Planet (Marvel)

 

[Chuckg]

Dinah and Cap end up having to get married when it turns out that the Super-Soldier Serum also gives Steve enough virility to overcome the effects of her dampened fertility.(*) They are happily ever after and raise several children. Oliver Queen eventually learns what a 'restraining order' is and why one should be obeyed after Batman, Dr. Mid-Nite, and the Birds of Prey alumni team up on him for a legendary six-hour "wall-to-wall counseling" session.

Huntress' 'if you ever do anything to hurt her' speech to Steve, at least partly ghostwritten by Babs, also becomes a thing of legend in the superhero community.

Next up; Peter Parker/Helena Bertinelli (they met at the wedding reception of the two above).

(*) I am aware that this stopped being a problem anyway after her Lazarus Pit dip, but this is crack fic, so strict canon-compliance can go swan-dive off an asteroid.

 

[jaredstar]

Peter Parker/Helena Bertinelli

After several alco pops, screwdrivers and appletinis Helena introduces Peter to the idea of using his powers for adventurous sex. Several days and flights later they've done on the roof of the batcave and Jameson's bedroom (while he was sleeping in it no less)


Blue beetle (Jaime) / Shadowcat