Harry Potter Magical Musings and Spellbound Snippets

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#1
Basically, I make this thread as a parallel to the <a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=9016' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Ramblings and Musings</a> thread in the Naruto section by DampyrX2. This is a dumping ground for snippets and story parts that may or may not have a future or doesn't fit into a full story yet.

I also invite any others to bring something to the table if you wish, if you have something too short to be a whole story or not complete enough to be a one-shot. Or maybe just something that popped into you head for no apparent reason.

And with that, I place my first musing...
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#2
This first Idea just started out as a joke to myself, I placed the first part in the Misc. Ideas thread. crazyfoxdemon said it screams bad idea and I countered that it almost screamed crack, but then I was interrupted by me. So I turned to myself and asked, "Do you think we can turn this idea into a halfway serious story?"

And myself answered, "Probably not, but let's take a swing."

To which I said, "Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?"

And this was born...

Gryffindor at the Griffins said:
"I don't believe it," Harry said, staring at the recently delivered letter.

"What's wrong Harry?" Hermione asked, as Ron tried to swallow his mouthful of breakfast to ask the same question himself.

"There was an accident. Apparently, Dudley got in trouble with the police and got into a high speed chase. He was caught, but he crashed through the garage and into the back yard and mowed over Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, as well as Aunt Marge, who was visiting. Dudley's in juvenile detention and the adults are in the hospital, the letter says it'll be a year at best before Petunia is out, and longer for Vernon and Marge."

"That's horrible!" Hermione said.

"That's great, Harry," Ron said, his mouth finally empty enough to talk, "You can come stay at the Burrow."

Harry shook his head, "They're sending me to a relative of Vernon's. Apparently, Vernon's closest relation after Marge is a distant uncle named Mickey McFinnigan, but he's the town drunk and not fit as a guardian, so they're sending me to live with his son and his family in the states over the summer, at a town in Rhode Island."

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�31 Spooner Street,� Harry read as the cab he�d taken drove away. He made his way up the sidewalk, pulling his trunk behind him and Hedwig perched on his shoulder, her cage stowed away. Harry stood at the door for a moment as to brace himself. These were Vernon�s relatives, however distant, so he prepared for the worst and knocked on the door. A few moments after, a large, blonde boy, a couple years older than Harry, answered.

They stared a moment before Harry spoke, �Hello, is this the Griffins house?�

The large boy blinked dimly between Harry and Hedwig a couple times before turning back, �Mom! There�s a boy with an owl at the door!�

A red haired woman came to the door, �Oh, you must be Harry. My name�s Lois, I�m Peter�s wife. Come in, come in, meet the family.� She pulled him into the living room, Chris had sat on one end of a couch in front of the telly, a large, obese man on the other end, a baby with a teddy bear nearby with a few toys, a teenage girl in a pink shirt and hat on the floor in front of the couch, turned to him from the television, and, what surprised Harry the most, a white dog sitting on a chair reading the paper.

�You met Chris, our son, this is Meg, our oldest, Stewie, our baby boy, our dog, Brian, and my husband Peter,� Lois turned to her family, �Kids, this Harry Potter, a distant relative of your father�s. He�ll be staying with us for the summer.�

�Hey,� Meg greeted.

�Hello,� Chris added.

Stewie walked up to him, his eyes seeming to judge him for a moment before he spoke, �I smell death on you.�

Harry�s surprise at such a young baby talking so well was washed away when the dog stepped up, standing on two legs, �Nice to meet you, Harry. Hope you have a good stay here, and you can ask me if you need any help.� He said as he held out a paw, but Harry was just staring, �Is something wrong?�

Harry shook his head, �Sorry, it�s just I�ve seen a person who can turn into a dog, I�ve seen a giant, three headed dog, but I�ve never seen a talking dog before,� Harry was surprised at himself that he was just mentioning Sirius and Fluffy to strangers, but even more so that nobody questioned him as he gingerly shook hands, �Sorry, just a little caught off guard.�

�It�s alright,� Brian said.

�Hey, Harry,� Peter finally spoke, �What�s with the big pigeon?�

Hedwig narrowed her eyes as Harry explained, �Hedwig is my owl, not a pigeon, and she is smart enough to know you�re insulting her.�

�Sorry, Harry,� Lois said, before elbowing her husband, whispering, �Peter, apologize.�

Peter just stared Hedwig in the eye before she barked, �Prick.�

�HEY! What did you call me?�

�Prick!�

�Why I otta-� Peter raised his fists, only for the owl to zoom in, repeatedly pecking and clawing his head, �OW, AH, DAMN IT, I GIVE, I GIVE, I�M SORRY, UNCLE!� Hedwig left the man, returning to Harry�s shoulder, closing her eyes and turning her head away.

�Prick.�

�Sorry,� Harry said, �She�s rather proud and doesn�t like being insulted.�

�Smart owl,� Meg commented.

�She is, she even takes mail to my friends during summer holidays, usually, but I don�t think she�ll be doing that this summer, not across the Atlantic.� Harry said, reaching and scratching Hedwig�s plumage. �So, um, where will I be staying?�

�You can use Meg�s room,� Peter said, �she�s never here anyways�

�I�m right here, fatass!� Meg shouted.

�Oh, hey Meg, when did you get here?� Peter said, surprised, �Harry here will be sharing your room for a while.�

�What about that guest room?�

�What guest room?�

�The one Uncle Patrick stayed in,� Meg said, only to be answered by a clueless expression that clearly said �who?�, �Mom�s crazy brother, �The Fat Guy Strangler�,� Clueless, �The room where that half-dead fat guy ate the dead fat guy.�

�You mean my rec. room?�

�Rec. Room? What rec�� Meg just growled then sighed in defeat, �C�mon, Harry, I�ll show you our room.�

Harry nodded silently and followed, pulling his trunk behind. As he disappeared up the stairs, Hedwig swiveled her head around once again, aimed at Peter with a parting word.

�Prick!�

888888888888

As Harry Finished setting Hedwig�s perch next to a window, Meg came into the room carrying a folded cot she�d gotten from the attic. She unfolded it for him before sitting silently on her bed, her back to Harry as she stared out the window and he set up his trunk, Hedwig soon fell asleep on her perch. Once he was set up, Harry laid on his cot for a few moments before turning his head to see Meg was still motionless and silent.

�Meg? Are you alright?� Harry asked, �I�I�m sorry if me being here bothers you-�

�No,� Meg cut him off, not looking back, �It�s not you, it�s just�� She seemed to struggle for a word for a few moments, �It�s�It�s not you, not really, anyways.�

�Not really?� Harry asked, wary of what to say. He was quiet for a moment before asking, �Would you like to talk about it? Whatever�s bothering you?� Meg turned and gave him a look that she didn�t quite trust him, �I know we�ve just met, but it seems we�ll be sharing a room for the summer, and if we don�t talk about it, it will fester until it turns worse than it started as. So, if we have a problem, it�s best to get it out of the way.�

�It�s not a problem, at least not with you,� Meg said, getting a look that told her he wouldn�t let it go, she sighed, �It�s not you exactly, it�s my idiot father. No offence, but we don�t know you, I don�t know you, but he�s willing to let a strange boy room with his only daughter. The last time we had someone we didn�t really know live here, it was mom�s brother Patrick.�

�The Fat Guy Strangler,� Harry said quietly, remembering the earlier argument.

Meg nodded, �He was in a mental hospital most of mom�s life because he had some traumatic event involving him walking in on Grandma with some fat actor, and he flipped and thought all fat people were immoral. When mom found out, she had him moved in here, he snapped and started killing fat guys in the park. They ended up putting him back in the mental home.�

Harry was silent for a moment; he really had no idea what to say to that, �Well, you don�t really have to worry about me.�

�I know, it�s just�� Meg was quiet for a moment before turning around, putting her back against the wall, �You really want to hear all this?�

The way she said it made Harry a little hesitant, but something told him he should, �Yes.�

�I hate my family.� She said simply, stunning Harry, �My dad�s a retard, literally. He thought he was such a genius when he played trivial pursuit and he remembered a fire truck was red. So what�s he do? He started acting like he was so fucking smart and started watching �smart people shows� on T.V. and repeating things even though he had no clue what the hell they meant, like he was some stupid parrot. Then he get�s tested and finds out he�s actually retarded, so what�s he do? He uses it as an excuse to do what he wants because �he doesn�t know better�. He always gets into trouble but, somehow, he never faces any of the serious consequences he should. He causes mass destruction at least twice a month and has barely spent a total of a week in jail.�

Harry was too stunned by the venom in her voice to say anything as Meg continued, caught up in her own rant, �And then there�s Mom, old mommy dearest who can�t even say �I Love you� to her hospitalized daughter. She thinks I don�t really notice, but I know, she�s so disappointed I�m not more like she was at my age, that I�m not so pretty and popular, well it was easy for her, she had rich parents who spoiled her and probably didn�t mind her getting surgery to look better, she was so popular because she slept with everything that had a heartbeat. She drinks and does drugs, but has the gall to try and lecture us on the evils of drugs and alcohol. And she reads from my private dairy to the family like it�s a comedy book, and doesn�t even bother to stop when I find out, the bitch.�

�And then there�s my little brother, Chris, who bugs me and insults me, ignores me and abandons me when it suits him, but always wants my advice when he needs help, like the idiot thinks I didn�t notice what he just said about me. And Stewie, he thinks I�m as stupid as the rest of the family and I don�t hear him, but I just stopped caring since all he does anymore is insult me.�

Tears appeared in her eyes, either from anger or sadness, as she continued, �And none of them, nobody at all in this house or even this damn town, seems to give a damn about me. Chris once ran off to the Peace Corps in South America just because he was getting picked on for being a freshman, and when we go down there, he pisses off the natives and we have to run to the plane while dodging arrows, darts and spears. They get on the plane and take off while I catch a bunch of darts in my back and have enough poison put in me to put me out for two days, and where am I when I wake up? Still in the fucking jungle, those bastards just left me behind and I have to wait two weeks to catch a Peace Corps plane back here, and you know what dads first words are when I walk in the door, with dirty and torn clothes? �Meg, did you get the milk?�� Meg was breaking down crying now, �Chris and Stewie get separated from a tour group in the forest, and in a few hours police, forest rangers, everyone is out looking for them. I�m gone for almost three weeks and nobody, not my family, not my friends, nobody notice I�m gone, nobody misses me. My teachers give me mediocre grades for stuff I didn�t even do, even the one guy who constantly asks me out didn�t notice, turns out he was hitting on a picture of me in his locker and couldn�t tell the difference.�

At this point, even though she felt so awful, so worthless, even though she didn�t even know this guy, she couldn�t stop pouring her heart out, curling up and hugging her own knees �I�m constantly the butt of everyone�s joke, and nobody ever tries to help. Every time I make some headway, every time it looks like someone might start treating me better, they go back to the same old shit in a week. One time, mom developed an eating disorder and when she got liposuction she tried to tell me that eating doesn�t solve problems, even though I weigh just as much as her, so what do I say? I tell her the truth.� She raised her tearful, reddened eyes level with Harry�s, �I say, �I don�t eat when I have problems, I cut myself, is that better mom?�� Meg sees the horror in Harry�s face, but quickly continues, �And she ignores me, she just says something about Chris�s hat like I never said anything, like she doesn�t care if I hurt, like she doesn�t care if I die.�

Meg couldn�t continue, she just lay into the fetal position, quietly sobbing. Harry got up and sat next to her before beginning to rub her back. He didn�t really have any experience with crying girls, so when she looked up at him, and then wrapped her arms around him before crying into his chest, he just went with it and continued to rub her back.

Meg realized just how low her life had gotten. She always knew she had a piss poor life, but here was a guy a couple years younger than her, who she had literally just met, and he was treating her better than her own family had in years. Maybe it was shock or pity, but she was desperate for anything, any help or emotion from another human being.

Harry felt he had to say something, he wasn�t sure why, he wasn�t sure what compelled him, maybe it was having seen Cedric die or having had to fight Voldemort and seeing his parents, but he felt he needed to bare himself to someone like she had to him, that if he talked to someone, he might feel better.

Meg�s sobs died down a bit and he began stroking her hair before speaking, �When my parents were married, before I was born, there was a madman named Tom Riddle, who called himself Voldemort, a leader of a group out to kill or torture those they didn�t consider �pure�. He ended up targeting me and my parents when I was born, so they took me into hiding, they were hid in such a way that only one person could tell others where they were, they placed all their trust in that one man, an old friend of my father�s, and another friend of my father�s pretended he knew the secret to draw attention to himself and away from the truth.�

�But Peter, the one who knew the secret, was already a traitor. He told Voldemort and on Halloween, when I was almost a year and a half old, he came to our house. Dad tried to distract him, to buy time for mum and me, but he was killed. Mum tried to protect me, she tried to bargain for my life, but she was killed in front of my crib.� His own tears began to form, �I sometimes still hear her in my sleep. He tried to kill me next, but it backfired and hit him instead.� Meg raised herself as she listened, both of them now with their backs against the wall.

�After that night, I was sent to live with my mother�s sister and her husband, who thought of my parents as freaks, and they thought I�d have to be a freak since I was my mother�s child, so they thought they�d �beat the freakishness� out of me. For almost ten years I was hated and beaten. I slept in a cupboard under the stairs and fed on scraps. I was made to do almost all the house work and hit when I didn�t do it well enough. Everyone in the neighborhood was told that I was some sort of delinquent son of a couple drunks who died in a car crash and left me as a burden on my hard working and �normal� relatives. My cousin was an ass and a bully who scared people away from being friends with me while he bullied everyone, but because his parents claimed he was such a great kid and I was a juvenile delinquent, nobody would believe Dudley Dursley would do any wrong. And god forbid I defend myself against their precious little Dudders, yes, God forbid the freak not get the beating he deserves for being a freak.� Harry growled, his voice turning cold as he spoke more of his cousin, aunt and uncle.

�Then, not long before my eleventh birthday, a letter came in the mail slot for me, it was even addressed �Mr. H. Potter, The Cupboard Under the Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinning, Surrey�. My uncle seemed to know what it was and he burned it. That day I was moved into the smallest bedroom, the room Dudley kept all his broken toys in. The next day, another letter came, �Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinning, Surrey�, and it was destroyed too. The next day it was three, a dozen the next. Once my uncle nailed the mail slot shut, the milk man handed them to him. Then, that Sunday my uncle was smug, �no post on Sundays.� But then dozens of the letters shot out of the chimney. My uncle gave us five minutes to pack before we left after that, but each time we stopped at a motel, there was a letter waiting for us, for me. Eventually, on the day before my birthday, my uncle rented a shaky little two room shack on a miserable rock island in the middle of a huge storm. But I still got a letter, only it was hand delivered this time.�

Harry took a pause, which was noticed by Meg. This was the moment of truth, he had to decide if he would expose the magical world to a girl he had known for maybe a couple hours at most or not. Harry took a deep breath and decided, �Meg, I�ll be as honest as you are with me. The rest of this will sound impossible, and I need you to keep it a secret, but it�s all true.� He looked her in the eye, �Can I trust you?�

Meg was silent for a moment, but nodded. She knew she was quick to latch on to people, at least people who were nice to her, but she didn�t care. This boy seemed like the first person to genuinely care about her in so long. She would follow him to hell and back, she knew it wasn�t really anywhere near healthy, but at the moment, she didn�t give a damn.

Harry took a deep breath before he continued, �The last of the letters, addressed to �Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, The-Hut-On-The-Rock, The Sea� was delivered at midnight on my birthday of July 31st, and it was given to me by a man almost twice the size of a normal man. A man who became one of my first real friends, and who said four words that changed my life, �Harry-yer a wizard�. The letter that he gave me, just like the letters before, were invitations to go to a school of magic, like my parents had before me. At first I was excited, my parents weren�t the drunken lay abouts I was told, they were a well known witch and wizard, and I was going to go to the same school they had learned magic, I got Hedwig and I made some friends. But it wasn�t as great as I thought it would be.�

�When Voldemort tried to kill me, he used a Killing Curse, a dark and difficult spell that kills its victim instantly. It killed my dad and my mum, but my mum did something when she sacrificed herself to save me, something happened that made it so I was the only person ever to survive the Killing Curse with only a scar on my head, that and the fact Voldemort was defeated made me some kind of overnight celebrity to the magical people, so everyone would stare at me like they thought I was going to become some sort of superhero any minute, bothering me about my scar, I went from the Dursley�s freaky delinquent nephew to top celebrity in a day, not exactly as fun as it sounds, especially with things that happened later.�

�And things weren�t exactly the greatest at Hogwarts, either. Some kids gawked at me, some hated me because their parents had been followers of Voldemort. People�s opinions seemed to change about me every year and every year I had someone try to kill me. First year my defense teacher was actually possessed by Voldemort�s spirit and tried to kill me twice himself and he let a troll loose in the school that almost killed my friends as well, and all of that not to mention a potions professor who seems to hate me so much he may think it a crime each time I breathe.�

�Second year I had a nutter house elf almost killing me to protect me, a sixty meter snake that can literally kill with a look loose in the school, a copy of Voldemort possessing my friends little sister, and a ponce of a defense teacher who tried to completely erase my memory. And add to all that, people were getting turned to stone, including one of my best friends, and people thought that just because I could speak to snakes, I must be some evil wizard in training who set loose said sixty meter snake.�

�Third year I had a supposed mass murderer, who was actually my innocent godfather, who had broken out of jail and was running around. Everyone thought he was out to kill me, but he was actually after Peter the traitor who was disguised as my friend Ron�s pet rat. I almost got my soul sucked out three times by these monsters the government placed at the school to �protect� me, and that years defense teacher was a werewolf who lost control and attacked me and my friends. We had Peter captured, but he got away, and without him the Minister of Magic wouldn�t believe my godfather was innocent and he had to go on the run.�

�Then, this last year, everything went completely pear shaped. First there�s a contest that only adult students, for us that�s seventeen, are supposed to enter, and I end up forced in because the �magical goblet of fire�,� he said patronizingly, the lights beginning to flicker as his anger showed, �apparently has no way to tell a forgery from someone�s real signature, then most of the school and my best friend turn on me because they thought I was some attention seeking glory hound who tricked his way in and Ron was apparently more pissed that I didn�t let him in on it, never mind that this contest hadn�t been held for over a hundred years for the reason that a lot of contestants ended up dead. I had to outrun a fire breathing dragon, fight off pissed merpeople, risked getting torn apart by a sphinx and had to deal with yet another defense teacher trying to kill me.� Harry�s rage seemed to come to a screeching halt as tears filled his eyes, �And to top it all off, I saw�I saw a friend die in front of me right before I had to watch the bastard who killed my parents rise from the dead and try to kill me again.�

Harry was getting angry again, Meg could tell because the lights almost went completely out and she could hear her father complaining about the cable getting messed up.

�I barely escaped with my life and almost nobody was willing to believe the bastard was back, and they refuse to take their heads out of the sand until something bites them on the arse. I find I won�t have to spend the summer with my damnable relatives, but now have to spend it with people I have no blood relation to in the first place. And I can�t even keep in contact with my friends because now I�m stuck across the ocean with a family that, by your accounts, should have been split by child services as soon as mine should have. Just when I think something good might have happened for me, it all turns to SHIT!� The windows in the room loudly cracked, snapping Harry out of his rant as he saw the spider web marks appear across the panes of glass.

�Woah,� Was all Meg could say as the lights went back to normal, and the sound of the television come from downstairs.

Harry looked around, seeing the damage he�d done, �Oh, hell, I�m so sorry,� without thinking, he pulled his wand out of his pocket, �Reparo,� only after the glass was fixed did Harry realize what he�d just done, �Oh hell.� He said, looking out the window expectantly.

�Is something wrong?� Meg asked, once she had a second to get used to seeing actual magic, �The window looks fine now.�

�It�s not that,� Harry said, looking confused, �It�s just, I�d have expected an owl from the Improper Use of Magic Office by now.�

Meg was confused, �A what from the who, now?�

�Um, a letter from the magical government,� Harry said, a little embarrassed, �Back in Britain, we�re not allowed to use magic outside of school until we�re seventeen, and especially not in front of non-magical people. The warning owls are pretty quick and get to us in minutes, but it�s not here.�

�Well,� Meg thought for a moment, �Maybe it�s different here. Or, maybe, they just don�t pay attention to some places. We have had some pretty weird stuff happen around here.�

�What would be so bad that they would ignore magical law here?�

�Death came here.� At Harry�s blank stare, Meg continued, �I mean it, we actually had Death himself, bones, robe, scythe and all, stay in this house.�

To that, Harry could only reply, �HOW?�

�Dad�s fault,� Meg shrugged, �He went to the hospital because he thought a lump on his chest might be cancer. It wasn�t, but when it was time to pay the doctor, he wrote he was dead on the insurance forms to get out of paying. Death literally showed up at our door and chased dad around for a while, but ended up tripping and spraining his ankle, he had to stay here to recover. Dad eventually got himself spared.� Harry stared blankly as Meg took a moment before continuing, �There was also this time Dad messed up an Indian burial ground in the back yard and disturbed some spirits, they attacked, took Stewie hostage for a while and made the house disappear until Dad put back a skull he took to use as an athletic cup.�

�He�what kind of disrespectful ass takes a human skull for a cup?!� Harry nearly yelled, appalled.

�Yeah, but believe it or not, it�s still not the worst thing he�s done,� Meg said, at least a little amused that someone is finally as angry at her father�s stupidity and can see none of this is normal, �One time a show he liked was cancelled, so he had Chris pretend he had a lethal illness so they could get one of those �make a wish� foundations to put it back on T.V.� Harry looked even further disgusted as she continued, �When people noticed Chris didn�t die, Dad just said he healed Chris. This cult started up and dad let it go to his head, claiming he was god. Things went crazy and we started getting hit with the ten plagues from the bible. Dad didn�t admit he was a fake until the last plague and Chris was almost dead.�

Harry stared blankly for a few moments before yelling, �What the bloody hell is wrong with this insane asylum?!� He laid back again, hitting his head against the wall, �I go from a house where everyone hates me to a house full of nutters,� He quickly turned to Meg, �no offence.�

Meg shrugged, �None taken, I�ll admit I have some problems, but that�s not the worst thing I�ve ever been called.� They were both quiet for a while, letting their minds process the new information before Meg broke the silence, �So, a wizard, huh? Like, you can just wave a hand and make stuff happen?�

Harry shook his head, �No, I mean, there are some things we can�t do, even with magic. And as for hand waving, well,� He thought for a moment, �there is accidental magic for kids. I mean, when a witch or wizard gets very emotional, stuff happens��

�Like cracking windows when you get pissed?�

Harry had the decency to look embarrassed, �Yeah, sorry about that, but yeah. It usually happens when we�re little, but if someone gets angry or scared enough, things can just happen. I don�t know if you can learn to do it on purpose, I never really looked into it. I�ve just always used my wand like everyone else,� He said, holding up his wand.

The brunette looked it over for a few seconds, �Could I see it?�

Harry shrugged, not seeing the harm in a muggle girl checking his wand (A.N. Not like that, sicko), but he didn�t expect what happened next. As soon as Meg had a good grip on the wand, a shower of pink sparks shot out of the end. Wide eyed, she looked to Harry for an explanation, only to find he was just as surprised as she was. Meg lifted the wand and gave it a flick, which seemed to cause her closet door to slam shut.

�Holy shit,� Was really all she could say, �Am I supposed to be able to do that?�

�No,� Harry said, still in awe, �Not at all. Muggles, er, non-magical people shouldn�t be able to use a wand as anything but just another wooden stick. Meg,� he said, locking eyes with her, �I think you�re�a witch.�

Meg�s mind went blank at that. A witch? She was magical? Could she be a reason behind some of the stuff? Her father caused a lot of shit to happen, but some stuff just seemed kinda random.

Peter was fat, but he shouldn�t have been heavy enough to just fall through the stairs, was that her?

Were some of her father�s smaller accidents because she was magical and pissed at him?

Despite her physical injuries, from others or self inflicted, many seemed to heal quicker than they should, was that magic?

Was the ghost portal through her ass because she was, herself, magic?

Was magic why she survived all those darts in her back in the jungle?

Come to think of it, how had she become so desensitized from her father�s odd adventures to not realize, stuffed animals shouldn�t be able to come to life and run away or commit suicide by truck? Was that because of her too?

�Meg, MEG!� Harry shocked her out of her thoughts.

�I�m sorry, what?� Meg said, shaking out the cobwebs.

�I said it doesn�t make sense,� Harry repeated, �Even if it�s a little different here, you should have gotten an owl, a letter from a school of magic, years ago. I know for sure there�s one in Salem. Did you ever get a letter on parchment?�

�No, never, at least not that I know-� her thought stopped there and she groaned. What was the one constant screwing up her life? �Come with me.� She got up and lead him down the stairs to the living room, where it was just Brian still reading the paper and Peter watching T.V. �Dad, did I ever get a letter you never gave me? Maybe when I was about eleven?�

Brian lowered his paper, an oddly specific question.

Peter didn�t even look away from the television, �Oh, yeah,� he rustled a hand into the cushions and pulled out a creased, folded and slightly crumpled envelope, �I was gonna give it to ya, but Inside the Actor�s Studio had F. Murray Abraham and I forgot.�

Meg, with barely veiled anger, grabbed the letter and looked at the address�

Miss Megan C. Griffin
31 Spooner Street
Quahog, RI 00093


Breath hitched, she opened the letter and read�

Salem Witches Institute
Headmistress: Rachel Clinton


To Whom It May Concern,

We are happy to inform you that Ms. Griffin has been accepted to the Salem Witches Institute. Enclosed within is a school supply list, our tuition rates, an approved pets list (Any animal NOT on the list must be cleared by our magical creatures professor beforehand), and a basic list of rules (The complete rule book is available for mail purchase or to borrow from the school library upon arrival). Also enclosed is a list of faculty contact numbers if you have any questions.

Fall term begins the final week of August. You must send a letter of acceptance by the first of August or we will assume your daughter does not wish to attend. With any acceptance letter, please inform us if your daughter will require transportation to the Institute.

Sincerely,

Emmaline Gale

Deputy Headmistress


Meg looked over the other papers, the tuition itself wasn�t really much more than her normal schooling costs and while boarding was rather expensive, they also offered something called a�Portkey? Something that would help her commutes to and from school from home, anyway.

Meg�s anger began to boil up again as she felt something inside rise at her father. I could have been with people like me! I could have had real friends! But because of this fatass, I�he�

�Meg!� Harry said, grabbing her shoulder and startling her as the window shattered into the house.

�What the hell!� Peter yelled. Quickly looking through the broken glass, he stuck his out the hole in the wall, and yelled, �Damn you kids and your invisible bricks!�

Harry quickly led Meg back upstairs, not noticing a dog�s eyes following them.

888888888888

�Meg, calm down-�

�How can I calm down, Harry? I just found out I lost so much because of my dumbass father!� Meg yelled, her eyes alight with sadness and anger, �I�m a witch who never learned magic! I could have actually made friends at that place! I�I could have found people who cared about me,� she sat on her bed, expression falling.

Harry sat next to her and glanced at the perch and open window, before he put a hand on her shoulder, �Look, Hedwig is out hunting, but first thing tomorrow, we�ll send her to the institute with a letter and see if there�s anything you can do.� Harry took a moment to consider what he said next, �And, if you�re careful, I can probably teach you some spells with my wand since it seems pretty compatible with you.�

�Compatible?�

Harry nodded, �As far as I know, all wands are at least a little different, different cores from different creatures, different wood types from different trees and different lengths,� he pulled his out and showed it to her, �Mine is made of Holly wood, eleven inches long with a phoenix�s tail feather as its core. Ollivander, the man who made it, told me that the wand chooses the witch or wizard, so it is a bit surprising that seems to work well with you.� Harry was silent for a moment before he held the wand out to her, �Let�s see how well it works. I want you to take the wand and say �Lumos�.�

�Lumos? What kind of spell is that? I thought spells, like, rhymed and stuff.� Harry just held the wand to her, so she took it and pointed away, �Lumos.� Immediately a bright, soft light came from the tip. It was a simple spell, but it had its effect on Meg. A letter and some random sparks were nothing compared to actually purposefully casting a spell, �I�I really am a witch.�

�Now say �Nox�.�

�Nox,� Meg repeated, the light going out as she did.

�Good, Meg,� Harry praised, �I don�t think it�s a perfect match, but it is close enough that I can teach you some things with my wand, but you�ll have to be careful, even simple spells can misfire.�

�I understand,� Meg said with a smile as the two of them leaned back against the wall, waiting for dinner to be announced. Meg glanced at her guest a couple times, seeing his eyes droop as jet lag and the days excitement caught up to him. She began to scoot a little closer and a little more until she leaned her head on his shoulder, with Harry a bit too tired to care. �Harry?�

�Hmm.�

�You�re my friend, right?� She asked, uncertainly.

Harry opened a groggy eye and sealed the change of his destiny forever, �Of course, Meg.�

Meg grinned as she closed her own eyes. She didn�t want to seem desperate, but she had almost no real friends, and the few she did have seemed either the fair weather type or were just her friends in school. But, she didn�t know why, somehow she could tell, she could feel that Harry would be a real friend, someone she could rely on and wouldn�t just judge her. She knew, once again, she might be attaching herself too quickly, but this was a boy who, in just a few hours, had literally just changed her whole course of life, and she would do anything to support him. As she drifted off, a darker, needier, more desperate part of her psyche vowed pain on anyone who tried to hurt or take her new friend away.

Far away, on a barren island, in a cold, bare cell, a dark haired woman shivered as if a person had stepped n her grave.
I figured the best character for a somewhat serious Family Guy story is Meg because, well, aside from the fact she's my favorite female character from the show (surpassed only by Ernie the Giant Chicken as overall favorite character), is she has the most serious problems and they always go unaddressed. She just seemed to fit. And I had that last bit because I know and will not deny she has some problems, and see it as a distinct possibility that she could become Harry's answer to Bellatrix.

And, to put in some comedy, I have a special place for Hedwig...

Three Month Temp Job said:
�You!� Peter growled, locking eyes with the giant yellow fowl in front of him. They charged on another, but before the first punch could connect, a white blur flew in between them, separating the fighters. They both saw Hedwig land on the Griffin�s mailbox as her head swiveled to face Ernie and bark and squawk at him a bit.

�What?� more barks and a �prick�, �You gotta be kidding me,� a couple barks, and a wing flare.

�What the hell are you two doing,� Peter asked, only to draw the owl�s attention. She leapt off the mail box and went after him, �Ah, ow, damn it, ya bastard,� Peter threw a couple of swings, but Hedwig dodged them. As he wasn�t paying attention, Peter fell backwards, head first, into a trash can and fell on his side. Hedwig landed next to him and, with a light press of her wing, pushed him into a roll down hill before jumping back onto the mailbox with the chicken looking at her.

�So you said until September?� Ernie asked, getting a bobbing nod, �Well, the wife has been wanting a vacation,� a bark and a soft screech, �Oh, yeah, her names Nicole,� Ernie said, pulling out a wallet picture of his wife, �I�ll introduce you if I get a chance,� a cooing noise and a couple barks, �Well, thank you, I�ll be sure to tell her that. You know, you just never see people like you with good manners around here anymore,� bark and screech, �You have a nice day too, Miss.� And so the chicken left.

Three hours later, a busted and bruised Peter walked into his living room to find his best friend watching television while his youngest son was playing with his bear. On the top of the couch, though, was an owl, who swiveled her head and gave him a glare that would make a certain monkey jealous.

�Peter, what happened to you,� Brian asked, concerned.

Under the glare of the owl, Peter shivered, �I, uh, I fell?� The owl gave a slight bob, �Y-yeah, I f-fell.� He then quickly ran to his room to hide under his sheets, Brian following in worry.

Stewie watched quietly, Something is strange here, it seems the fat man, for some reason, fears that albino avian. This bears investigation. As if she heard his thought, Hedwig turned her head even further, almost to a complete 360, to look at the baby, as if in judgment. The two locked eyes for a moment then, as if coming to an understanding, Stewie gave a slight nod and Hedwig a soft bark before snapping her head back around to the television and Stewie turning back to Rupert.

As he did, he muttered, �At least she can�t be worse than that insufferable hound.�
Yup, Hedwig's giving Ernie a break, she's a freakin' tough owl.

Let me know what you think.

And, as a parting challenge, I included a Simpson's reference, a movie reference and a reference to a real person, see if you can find them.
 
#3
I'm not sure what this says about me, but I kinda liked that snippet. it's kinda nice to see some seriousness to offset the random mayhem of Family Guy. without anything to compare it to, the random mayhem just become routine, and seeing Meg as something other than a punching bag for the entire cast is kinda cool, even if she does have problems of her own...
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#5
A little something brought to mind by <a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=544&view=findpost&p=11379098' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>this post</a>. Hopefully, I'll have more of this soon, at least one within a few days.

The New Mrs. Potter said:
Painà

Painà

PAINà

Harry Potter was in a lot of pain as the afternoon, desert sun shone through the window and onto his face, making his headache, which was already comparable to dwarves trying to mine out his head, even worse. He tried to remember what happened, even though it seemed like just thinking hurt his head.

ChristmasàSiriusàMoonyàPlane tripàVegas?

Oh, yeah. As a Christmas present, Sirius had, somehow, decided to take a page from WormtailÆs book and faked his own death (in public view in a way he refused to explain to Harry, ôA marauder has his tricksö) and, through Gringotts and despite his wanted criminal status, his will enacted as he had written it just after Harry had been born, which left James everything or, if he was dead, left it to Harry. At the time Sirius wrote it, it would have just included his flat, his savings and whatever he owned, but since he was never properly disowned before his parents bit the dust, and Harry had a Black as a grandmother that put him just ahead of Malfoy as an heir, Harry had been put in as a head of house for the Black family, and some further surprise legal juggling by Sirius through Gringotts got Harry emancipated, all for one reason.

So Sirius could send Harry to Las Vegas, Nevada.

Actually, Sirius was planning on Amsterdam, but Remus had talked him down, but Padfoot wouldnÆt budge lower than Vegas, with Moony as a chaperone, but only because Sirius himself couldnÆt go, once again because of his less than legal status. And so, with a well made fake muggle I.D. and passport and as much money as he could need to gamble, and before anyone like Mrs. Weasley, Dumbledore or anybody could object, or even find out, Harry was on a plane for the states with Remus for the better part of the holidays.

And then, the last thing her could rememberàMoony? Yeah, Moony was trying to convince him to have a drink. Harry gave in after a while and had a drink, then anotheràand another. Soon after, HarryÆs memory was blurry at best, and he could only remember flashes.

Flashing lightsàBoozeàCardsàMore BoozeàPurple hairàan older girlàElvis?

For some reason, the girl and Elvis stuck in his head, like there was something important about them he should know, and would probably remember if his head could stop pounding.

Any other thought was cut off when another warm body cozied up to him and put their head on his chest.

ôMorning, honey,ö said a young womanÆs somewhat monotone and sleepy voice, before waiting a second, ôOr, afternoon, I guess.ö

Panicking, Harry near jumped out of the bed, but his feet were tangled in the sheets, causing him to fall out of the bed and pull the sheets with him as he learned four things.

1. Both Harry and the young woman were nude under the sheets

2. Despite the pounding pain in his skull, his waking body had gone about its normal morning routine

3. Screaming with what can only be a hangover, can make your head hurt even worse

4. When a hungover guy falls right on his æmorning conditionÆ, the pain seems almost comparable to the Cruciatus curse.

ôAre you okay?ö

All Harry could do is groan in pain as he lay in the fetal position. After a few moments, he managed to stagger to his feet and sit on the bed, making sure to keep covered and trying not to stare at the nude girl next to him.

ôWhat time is it?ö Was, oddly, the first thing he asked as he looked around the hotel room, which he recognized as not being the one he had originally been checked in to. Hell, this room, despite an amazing amount of damaged furniture, busted lights and cracked walls, looked like it was originally at least five times as much as his room had been.

The unknown girl smirked, not seeming to care she was naked as she crawled to the foot of the bed, giving Harry a bit of a show before she fiddled with an odd circular device she picked up. As she did, Harry got a better look at her without the painful glare of the sunlight. She was pale, to the point that her skin seemed to be grey, but her body was rather fit, not like an athlete, but still fit, with a jewel on her forehead and from the looks of her little show, he had to guess her hair was naturally purple. Hisàstudy, of her body was cut off when she finally answered his question.

ôItÆs aboutàFour p.m. Wednesday afternoon.ö

ôW-Wednesday?!?ö Harry croaked, last he remembered, it had beenàSunday? Monday? It was fuzzy, but that seemed about the time Moony got him to drink. How in the world could he have blacked out almost three days?

She just nodded, ôSometimes, you seemed determined to try and get your liver to beg for mercy.ö She said dryly with a smirk. ôIÆll get you something for your head.ö She stood and started out of the room.

ôWait!ö Harry yelled, instantly regretting it as he gripped his head. He took a couple calming breaths before quietly continuing, ôWho are you? And where am I?ö He took a quick second look around before adding, ôAnd what the bloody hell happened here?ö

The young woman stood in the doorway and turned to face him, showing him everything again before she smiled, oddly mischievously, and answered, ôItÆs your complementary hotel suite. Apparently, after you cleaned up at the craps tables, blackjack and roulette, the casino set you up for free so they can try and win some back.ö She looked around a little before adding, ôIt was a lot better looking before we happened to it,ö she sighed, ôBut what a nightàö

She saw Harry blush as he still held his head. She reached onto a nearby dresser and grabbed something as she prepared to drop a bomb, ôAs for who I am, I have to say IÆm hurt, Harry, because, as of about 1:30 yesterday afternoon,ö she held up her left hand, which now had a ring on her finger, ôI am Mrs. Rachel Raven Potter.ö

She watched as her new husbandÆs eyes widened in comprehension, before they rolled back as he fell into a dead faint. She walked up and gave him a light kiss before leaving the room, smiling.

ôHe took that better than I thought.ö
I know Raven seems a bit (maybe more so) out of character, but that will be explained.

And if you don't know what was important about Elvis, you don't know Vegas.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#6
...Okay, next part...

...Kinda cheesed at the lack of response <_< .

The New Mrs. Potter said:
��And you were supposed to be back almost two days ago.�

Harry heard the new voice as he woke, his head still pounding.

�Look, I�ll be back soon, tomorrow, Friday at the latest. I have something important happening here, important and private.�

That voice, Harry recognized, the girl who called herself Rachel Raven Potter.
Rachel Raven Potter�

Now, Harry didn�t have much interaction with the world when he was young, at least not the world outside of Privet Drive, but even he had heard the stereotypical Vegas marriage stories and jokes. That might explain why he remembered Elvis. Harry groaned a little as he cracked an eye, seeing Rachel in a white hotel bathrobe.

�Who was that Raven�Raven?� The voice asked.

�Look, I�ll explain everything when I get back, okay?� �Raven� answered, not giving time for the voice to answer, �Remember, we�ll be there in a day or two and tell you guys everything.�

�What?!? What we-�

�Bye, Robin,� Harry heard a beep and a click before a small crystal bottle swam into his vision, �Here, Harry, this will help you with the hangover.�

With no hesitation, Harry grabbed the bottle, popped the cork and downed the contents, his face scrunching at the taste as his headache quickly faded to a dull throb.

�Yeah,� Raven said, seeing his reaction, �Even magic can�t change some things, if a potion is good for you, it is guaranteed to taste awful.�

With his mind somewhat clearer, the words magic and potion registered quite clearly.

�Y-you�re a witch?� Harry asked. Honestly, what are the chances of running into a witch like this?

�Well, not exactly, hang on,� Raven sat on the bed next to Harry before grabbing the phone, �Do you want breakfast or dinner? This will take some time.�

�Uh, dinner, I guess.� Harry answered, still a little out of it.

�Right,� Raven called room service, ordering a good amount of food before hanging up, �The food should be here in about half an hour.�

�So, what did you mean �not exactly� a witch?�

�Well, I�m not a witch as you know it,� Raven said, leaning back against the headboard, �You see, there are a lot more magical people in the world than your��civilization� acknowledges. You know that Statute of Secrecy your people have?� Harry nodded before Raven continued, �Well, that was put forth around the mid seventeenth century, supposedly because of a combination of the rise of witch burnings, the persecution of magical people and pressure for magical to use their powers solely for the gain of non-magicals. They put in place that statute and secluded themselves from the rest of the world, but not all magicals did so. There are a large number of different kinds of magical humans on earth, Harry, and by those of us outside your government�s reach, people like you are referred to as warlocks, a type of person born with a natural affinity towards magic, it�s part of you, body and soul.�

�There are a lot of different types of magic, Harry, and warlocks like you are born suited to learn most of them, but for the most part you stick with a certain type of magic relying on wands, or sometimes staves, mostly for two reasons, first is that it�s easier for you people to deal with. It�s a power your people are familiar with, and they can watch it and monitor it to keep your secrecy. Second is that your societies isolation has made them somewhat�xenophobic.�

Raven looked into Harry�s eyes, �There are at least a good number of different types of mages and magic that aren�t under their control and things that are unknown. As much as they might deny it, they are just like any other human, magic or not, if they find something new they don�t understand, some may be curious, but most fear what they don�t understand, and in many cases, fear can turn to hate. So they keep themselves almost completely closed off from everything else.�

Harry took a few minutes to process what he had just been told. �I suppose I can believe that, so you use a different kind of magic than I do, right?�

�Well,� Raven thought, �You can think of it like that. There are a lot of different ways of using magic, I can do most of the same things you can, I just do them differently,� To demonstrate, she raised a hand which became enveloped in a black aura, as she did a chair in the corner of the room gained the same aura and lifted into the air for a few moments before setting back down.

�Wandless magic?� Harry muttered under his breath at the exhibition.

�Yes, wandless,� Harry�s eyes may have been momentarily stuck on the chair, but somehow he could just feel her rolling her eyes, �That�s the thing about your style of magic, it�s versatile and it�s relatively easy to learn, you can learn it a few years where other styles can take decades. Personally, I�ve been learning almost since I could understand what magic was and, while I am skilled, I still have a lot to learn before I could be considered a master. But, while your style has advantages, all styles have at least one problem, and yours has one glaring weakness,� she raised her hand and cast again, this time a familiar stick of wood gained the black aura and flew into her hand, �Without one of these, you can�t do very much.�

�So, other kinds of magic take longer to learn, but I wouldn�t need a wand?� Harry asked as his mind kept processing.

�Mostly,� Raven nodded, �there are those who could be considered prodigies that learn quicker, and there are some items that work a little like your wand and allow even those with no magical training, or even ability, to use some powerful magic and they can�t do so without said item.�

�Wait,� Harry stopped her, more than a little surprised, �There are things that let muggles use magic?!?�

Raven raised an eyebrow, �I�m going to assume you mean people with no magic ability or training?� Harry nodded, �Yes, there are items that let them use magic with no training at all, but it can be very dangerous for them and others and most items like that either have a negative effect on the user, have restrictions on the powers or can only do certain types of magic. There�s this one thief I know of who uses a special wand that lets him use magic, but it only lets him do things like a stage magician, making things appear and disappear with a top hat, changing people into animals and making cards and things appear from his sleeves, but its power drove him crazy and he just uses it to steal, and all his spells are undone when his wand is broken.�

Harry sat for a moment, taking in what he�d been told, he may have just learned more than any History of Magic class he�d been able to stay awake for. Then, an idea struck him, �Could you teach me some of your style?� With Voldemort out and about, even if he was staying under the radar, anything new could give Harry an edge.

Raven�s eyes seemed to get an odd light in the as she smirked, �Maybe,� she said, �It would probably be difficult, but I could. But,� she suddenly flipped herself over Harry, straddling the wizard as her robe loosened a little before pressing her lips to his for a moment, �I wonder what my husband would be willing to do in exchange for such lessons?�

Harry�s mind began to race, with all he was being told from finding she was magic, the fact that this young woman on top of him was now his wife had been pushed to the back of his mind. He wasn�t sure exactly what had happened while he was drinking, but Raven seemed ready for an encore or something, and Harry wasn�t sure if-

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK* �Room service!�

Raven�s expression turned to annoyed very quickly, �Just perfect timing,� She climbed off of both Harry and the bed, tightening her robe, �I�ll get the food, there�s another robe in the bathroom and your underwear is�somewhere in here, I think. We can continue our talk in the living room over dinner,� before Harry could react, she leaned in and kissed him again, this time her tongue pried it�s way into his mouth and played with his own for a moment before she broke away, walking to the door, she turned back, �And we continue everything else after that.� She added with a wink.

Harry turned red as she left the room before setting to work looking for his clothes, his mind constantly wrestling with the new information, but one new fact overall.

I�m bloody MARRIED!

Part of me wonders about writing a Jynx Potter version of this :huh:
 

simonbob

Well-Known Member
#7
Not obvious spelling or grammar mistakes. Not bad, but I far prefer the first story. That felt like it was going somewhere. This just feels familiar.
 
#8
Part of me wonders about writing a Jynx Potter version of this
for the love of god and all things awesome YES! I like it so far and i would LOVE to see more, please write more? Jinxy likes. I would love to see how the Titans take this development, and i would love even MORE to see how Jinx's partners would take it.
 

MTing

Well-Known Member
#9
Is this Raven from the comics or the cartoon? Why does she seem so..OOC? Still, I'll keep reading if you keep writing.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#10
MTing said:
Is this Raven from the comics or the cartoon? Why does she seem so..OOC? Still, I'll keep reading if you keep writing.
I'm planning on a sort of mix, but mostly from the cartoon. And I have an explanation for why Raven is OOC thought out, and will have it in relatively soon.
 

Leonite

Well-Known Member
#11
I wager her being drunk let her happier and more party based emotion-beings get a bit more control, using the cartoon as the basis here.

And I wouldn't mind either Jynx or Raven, although the bit near the end sounds more Jynx like to me, using the cartoon as a basis.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#12
Just a little something for what today is, a cyber cookie for the first to guess the crossover.

*Ring Ring*

*Ring Ring*

"Hello, Mary Evens speaking"

"What?...How? When?...Oh, god"

"No, no, I�m still here, I just, we were close�Thank you"

"Her husband too? What about her child, she sent me a letter a while ago and..."

"No, it�s fine, I�ll be on the first plane out. Thank you."

**********

It was a relatively quiet afternoon in Silicon Valley, Califoria. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and computer programmers were hard at work�

Makin' me money, Theodore "Big T" Larrity thought as he sat in his seal-skin leather chair in front of his redwood desk stroking his stuffed condor. Yes, life was good for a Texas man.

*Click*

Now, not so much as his office door was opened, admitting his red-haired, pig-tailed, female programmer.

"Wada'ya want Mary? I have things I gotta do." It wasn't a lie, it was almost time for him to go to his secret vault to count his money and check his valuables. Ever since that one bag of money went missing, he couldn't be too careful.

"Mr. Larrity, I need to take some time off. A close cousin of mine died and I need to-"

"I don't care if you died, you work here and you already get weekends off and if you think you're gettin' any time off then yer about as bright as a two legged skunk in-" Before he could finish his latest incomprehensible southern accented crime against logic, reason and the English language, his hat was knocked off his head, which was then slammed into his desk, before he was hoisted up by his tie and flipped over onto the floor of his office and a hand closed around his throat.

"-And I need to go to England to sort out some of her things and execute her Will." Mary continued like she hadn't been interrupted, "It shouldn't be more than a week, maybe two at most." She stopped as she was flipped over and rolled back to her feet as her boss took a fighting stance.

"Yer takin' time off," Larrity's eyes narrowed, "Over mah' dead body. Get ready, girl, Big T Larrity don't know the meanin' of the word mercy..."

888888

"Mercy! MERCY!" Less than two minutes later, the Texan was in a submission hold from the surprisingly strong ginger woman, "You can have the time off, paid even! You can use the company jet! Mercy!"

Mary let go of him and calmly walked out of the room. As she walked past the offices, her co-workers, s a couple approached her.

"Hey Mary, do-" She walked past him.

"Not now, Jerry, I gotta go home."

"What's wrong, firecrotch? Girlfriend dump-AHHH!" That one was answered by a kick in the balls.

"Not now, Dave, I have to go pack."

8888888

Her arrival and time in England had been pretty dreary. Her cousin's lawyer had pretty much everything ready, she just had to sign some papers. Lily had left her some books, mostly fantasy, as well as some money and a request. If his godfather was unavailable (which the lawyer said was true) that Mary would take in her son. Lily had been her favorite cousin growing up, even though they drifted apart as teenagers, she still loved her cousin (not in that way, despite what Dave may imply). The baby was her last link to her cousin, so it was an easy choice.

Now she was in a taxi almost to where she was to pick up the baby (why the hell are there so many people wearing robes just walking the streets?). She finally got there, her other cousin's house, Lily's sister. Mary steeled herself and knocked on the door, which was answered by a thin blond woman, who looked at her for a few moments before recognition shone through.

"Mary?"

"Hello, Petunia, I�m here for Harry."
 
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Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#13
Might be Code Monkeys, but I didn't so much guess, as google names.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#14
Prince Charon said:
Might be Code Monkeys, but I didn't so much guess, as google names.


It probably won't go anywhere, but it just popped into my head because it's the only show I've ever seen that had an entire special for 4-20.
 
#15
Delurks

First of all, apologies for coming into the discussion 4 months late.

whitewhiskey said:
SNIP Family Guy crossover SNIP

I quite liked this, and the idea of Meg being partially responsible for the weirdness of Spooner street is interesting. Meg in the style of Bellatrix seems well in character for what little characterization poor Meg gets. I'm curious if Brian would be going with Meg as her "pet" and I also wonder if Meg isn't the reason he speaks. Just seeing her perspective on things was nice, even if it was horrendously depressing. A tough challenge to keep it semi-serious though. Best of luck if you continue it.

Back to lurking. :ph43r:
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#16
Next part of Raven Potter...

The New Mrs. Potter said:
Raven hummed a little tune, yes, actually hummed, as she set out dinner on the coffee table and set up a couple of chairs that weren�t too badly damaged. She had to admit, the room was trashed, she was sweet talked into marrying a guy she�d know for three days tops and who was so drunk at the time he seemed to have trouble stringing more than four words together without slurring, and not only was she flirting with him, hell, openly teasing him, but she was initiating romantic contact, and if it weren�t for the damn room service, she knew right now they�d be reenacting the previous night. She knew something was different, she was different, but she couldn�t completely bring herself to care. This wasn�t her, but at the same time it was, she wasn�t repressing her emotions or her powers, her emotions, no matter what she tried, were all free for her to feel and, somehow, her powers weren�t running wild along with them. She was different than normal, but only because something about the past few days, something about her new husband, had set her free.

When she and her friends had defeated Trigon, her father, she�d felt what seemed like a great weight lift from her shoulders, the prophecy had passed but her father was defeated, this feeling was like that, but a hundred times greater. She didn�t seem to need to be in constant control of herself anymore.

Well, she thought to herself, looking around the room, not usually anyway.

Yes, looking at the room, it seemed that extreme emotion, like the, she pleasurably shivered a bit at the word, passion of her wedding night that had caused her powers to do considerable damage to their room. Although, it also seemed her powers weren�t the only ones to do so, since, having surveyed the room, she could say her powers never caused a wall to go from beige white to red with gold polka-dots, or the curtains to start continuously purring. Thankfully, as they stumbled into the room, she�d had the presence of mind to through up some rudimentary barriers and, given they hadn�t received any complaints, the barrier probably kept their powers contained, along with their cries.

She shook her blush from her face as she finished setting out the food, then she just sat back and waited for Harry as she listened to the soft purr of the curtains.

88888888

Meanwhile, at the Legion of Do-er�

Actually, at the Death Eater headquarters, things were a bit hectic. Just hours earlier during a meeting of his inner circle, Voldemort collapsed, writhing in pain and gripping his head. He had passed out and now many of his more intelligent followers were checking over everything they could, trying to find what had happened to their lord and master.

Said Dark Lord was just starting to come around, and didn�t rightly know what had happened himself. One moment he had been plotting his next subversive moves before he would reveal himself to the world when he felt an odd sensation from his connection to the Potter brat, the same connection he had been trying to use to trick the brat, and next thing he knew he was no longer in the room with his followers, but standing on a rock that seemed to be floating in space, but surrounded by a number of figures whose bodies and faces were covered by cloaks and hoods of different colors, green, grey, pink, orange, yellow, purple, brown and red, all leaving only their lower faces shown, save for the last. The red cloaked person, whose aura screamed malice, had eyes glowing blood red glaring towards him.

�He is ours,� Red said in a wrathful, smoky voice that seemed to emanate from the others as well, �He is ours and you will not have him. If you again try to lay a hand on him, you will know a pain greater than death. He is ours,� the voice now focused from the red cloak as a second set of red eyes opened above the first, �He is MINE!�

The last words were accented with a burst of power bringing Voldemort more pain than he could ever remember feeling before the world as a whole faded to black. And now, awake, even as a memory, those red eyes, though he would never admit it aloud, filled him with fear. He�d have to speak with Severus to find who Potter could know who could make such use of their connection.

A connection, he noted, which now seemed to be severed and gone.
I'm trying to think of someone Moony could have a hangover wake up with, a Heroine who would have a reason to be in Vegas.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#17
Since we know that he goes after females younger than him how about Kitrina Falcone?
 
#18
cradle-robbing much on that one? though you do have a point. never was very fond of Rowlings thoughts on that one...
however, Zatana would be most likely, though possibly overused in such a cross...
it'd be kinda funny to see him having to explain himself to Superman if he slept with Kara, though.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#19
Very fond of the Raven Potter stuff.

whitewhiskey said:
I'm trying to think of someone Moony could have a hangover wake up with, a Heroine who would have a reason to be in Vegas.
Thinks... thinks... ooh!

<a href='http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Rose_Wilson_%28New_Earth%29' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Rose Wilson</a>! :evil2:
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#20
I still think Kitrina Falcone would be funnier.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#21
I was originally thinking Zatana, just because, as a performer in some continuities, she'd have a reason to be in Vegas, Rose would be damn hard to do. I'm a bit iffy on Kitrina, although the thought of a cat-themed person with Moony would be cool, a dog with a cat is funnier than a wolf with a cat, so perhaps a cat-themed heroine/vilainess will probably somehow be worked in with Sirius, if I can work that out somehow.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#22
But she's probably underage. Everyone knows Remus loves young girls.
 
#23
It's not as if she couldn't be made to be barely legal.

Given the multiple continuities of comic books and how different characters can be between parallel dimensions (everything from age to personalities to personal history can vary from universe to universe), it's not like you can't use creative licensing to make everything fit your purposes. In that way, mainstream comic books and all forms of related media based off of them are more fluid in that regard than regular books, movies, videogames and 'comics' you find in the paper.
 

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
#24
A new addition, and to reiterate, if anyone has some snippets, feel free to post as well.

[quote="Goblin']In the wee hours of the English morning, a heavily cloaked figure made its way through a lesser traveled part of London and into a shabby looking pub, The Leaky Cauldron. The figure made its way past Tom the barkeep, who was still half asleep anyway, and through a back door to a dead end, where it produced a wooden stick and tapped a certain sequence of bricks, causing the wall to open and reveal an entirely new district. The figure quickly walked down the nearly deserted alley and to the large building at the other end, which had just opened its doors.

Gringott�s Bank

The figure purposefully walked through the lobby of the giant bank and towards the individual offices and into one in particular, the office of Bogrod, who handled older vaults for older families. The goblin in question barley looked up from his paperwork as the cloaked person entered and lowered their hood, revealing a rather ragged, black haired man.

�Mr. Black,� Bogrod said as he finished signing a paper, �As I understand it, it is still polite in human culture to knock before entering a room.�

�I apologize, Bogrod, but being a wanted man tends to make one forget their manners.� Sirius replied, �Did you get my request?�

�Yes,� the goblin answered, pulling a piece of parchment from his desk, �You want to request a guard team for an indeterminate amount of time to protect one Harry Potter. I take it you�re one who believes your godsons, what did the Prophet call it?� the goblin adopted a mocking thinking pose, �The inane, scaremongering lies of an arrogant, attention seeking dark-wizard-in-training?�

�I don�t need you insulting Harry, Bogrod, and I don�t need you to believe him, but I do, and I will pay and do what I need to protect him and those he cares about. But hear this,� Sirius growled, �Bone, Flesh and Blood, Voldemort�s back. Now do you have someone to guard him?�

Bogrod eyed him for a moment before nodding to an empty side of the room. The space shimmered before it cleared to reveal three people in opaque black cloaks.

�These shall be your godson�s guardians,� Bagrod said as the figures lowered their hoods.

Sirius stared incredulously, �B-but�them? They look barely older than-�

Thwump

Thwump

Thwip

Sirius looked at the throwing knifes that had just whizzed by his head at different angles, burying themselves half into the opposite wall and taking off a fair amount of his hair before looking back at the other three humans. Did they banish those or something? I didn�t even see them move.

Bogrod smiled fiendishly, �I�d suggest you watch what you say about them, Mr. Black, especially when you�re a wanted man.� He made a hand motion and the guards donned their hoods again, �These three are fully trained and deadly warriors in their own ways. One is a fully trained medic capable of incredible feats of healing, another is capable of interrogation techniques that make more than a few goblins cringe, and their leader is able to fight off scores of well-trained enemies on his own. They are all masters of stealth, and each has their own particular form of protection against any and all mental arts, making them immune to Legilimency, the Imperius Curse, and any variation of the Compulsion or Memory Charm. They are members of the goblins nation, and so are outside the control of your Ministry. And they aren�t technically magical, so ours is the only law they fall under.�

�Wait, if they�re not wizards then-� Sirius was once again cut off, this time by a blade held to his throat by who he assumed to be the leader, I didn�t even see him move!

�Mr. Black, once again watch what you say.� Bogrod said as he motioned the leader away from Sirius, the guard disappeared for a second before reappearing where he stood before, �No, these three aren�t magical in the strictest sense, they are something else, but their abilities outstrip most wizards in many ways, and since they aren�t magic, they aren�t restrained by any underage or secrecy restriction as they exist now. Their age merely means they won�t seem as out of place in the company of your godson.�

Sirius was silent for a few moments before nodding and pulling out a paper, �Fine. Harry is staying at his aunt�s house at the moment, but eventually he will come to stay at my place for the summer. His aunt hates with a passion anything having to do with magic, so until he comes to stay with me, I want them to shadow him, but unless something really bad happens, they should stay out of sight of Harry and his relatives, as well as whoever is guarding him for the Order. The address is on this paper,� he showed it to the goblin, who promptly nodded and burned the paper. �I would like to keep options open on whether they will be employed during the school year at Hogwarts, if you can find precedence for it. I believe that is all I needed; may I use your fireplace?� Bogrod nodded again.

Bogrod watched silently as the wizard vanished into the emerald flames and was quiet for a few moments until the team leader spoke.

�Something wrong Bogrod?�

The goblin steepled his fingers as he lay back in his chair, �It�s been years since my time as a curse breaker, but the ritual he mentioned��? The goblin shook his head.

�What about it, sir?� one of the others asked in a soft, feminine voice.

Bagrod sighed, �Bone of Father, unknowingly taken, Flesh of Servant, willingly given, Blood of Foe, forcibly taken, it�s all part of an old, dark potion called the Regeneration Potion. It�s meant to help the user recover their former body if they�ve been seriously injured, mutilated or disfigured; it was somewhat popular among darker witches from the fourteenth century up �till the seventeen hundreds for the reasons of vanity. However, for Voldemort to use the potion would mean he had a body at the time, and no matter how powerful he was, he shouldn�t have had one, or even remained in this world when he was defeated in �81. Something chained his spirit to this plane before then. And his constant attacks on Harry Potter, it speaks of more than injured pride.� There was a few more seconds of silence.

�What do you want us to do?� the third human asked in a feminine but strong voice.

�I will confer with my associates and superiors, but you have officially been hired to guard Harry James Potter of Number Four Privet Drive, Surrey, and any allies he deems to require protection as well. Stay hidden until you need to reveal yourselves to protect your charge, or until he takes up residence with Sirius Black. Once you have revealed yourselves, make sure you check him over, there�s a possibility that his forced participation in the ritual left its mark on him. And in the interest of the Goblin Nation, you should keep your ears open around this �Order� Mr. Black spoke of for any hints on how Voldemort survived. You are dismissed.�

With quick bows, the three left to pack for their mission.[/quote]

For those not aware, normal invisibility cloaks are woven from the hair of a large magical primate called a Demiguise. As time passes, such cloaks lose their power and become opaque. A cookie to the one to guess a guard. Hint: It is a crossover and I do have a good explanation for it, just a few wrinkles to iron out.

And I hope to have something else new to post within a couple days.
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#25
Interesting start, de gozaru.
 
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