ôIÆm Negi Springfield, and IÆll be your new teacher for the year. IÆm very pleased to meet all of you.ö
Negi bowed to the class, trying not to blush too hard after having fallen for a series of traps when heÆd entered the classroom. HeÆd been so relieved at stopping that eraser from hitting him, that he hadnÆt noticed the tripwireàor the bucketàor the suction-cup arrows. It had been mortifying to then have Shizuna-sensei fuss over him and scold the girls on his behalf.
The girls of 2-A, for their part, seemed completely nonplussed with what theyÆd just been told. This little foreign boy was their new teacher? A few students, however, didnÆt seem quite so flummoxed by the news. Asuna was still glaring, obviously upset about what had happened before class. Across from her, Konoka was trying to give Negi her best ôhang in thereö smile. In the back of the room, Evangeline A. K. McDowellÆs eyes narrowed as she focused on the young boy, considering the possibilities of what his being here meant for her. Nodoka Miyazaki just trembled and hoped that the new teacher wouldnÆt call on her for anything.
Negi fidgeted as the silence stretched out. Was he supposed to be doing something now? ôUmàö
ôExcuse me Negi-sensei, but if itÆs alright, IÆd like to make another announcement,ö interrupted Shizuna.
ôOh. Ah, please go ahead,ö nodded Negi, grateful for all of the eyes in the classroom to be taken off of him. He took the opportunity to retreat behind the large desk that was off to the side of the blackboard.
ôThank you.ö Walking towards the front of the class, Shizuna smiled and spread her arms wide. ôIÆd like to offer a big æcongratulations!Æ to class 2-A for having been selected for the National Family Incentive Program!ö
A confused murmur broke out among the class. The National Family what now?
ôAs you may know,ö explained Shizuna, ôdata suggests that economic growth and prosperity are directly tied to social trends, particularly where familial growth is concerned. As such, earlier this year the Diet approved this trial program to see if it was possible for the government to foster such sentiments among the youth of our nation. Mahora Academy, and subsequently class 2-A, was selected to be the group for this study.ö
By now, most of the students in the class, and Negi, were staring at Shizuna blankly, having been completely lost. A few, however, were able to keep up, and were starting to get nervous about where this was going.
ôAs such,ö smiled Shizuna, not missing a beat, ôyou are now all officially fiancÚs of Negi Springfield! Congratulations!ö Acting as though she hadnÆt just dropped a massive bomb on the entire class, Shizuna started clapping. She was the only one.
ôWHAT?!ö was the chorused reaction of the rest of the class. Chaos descended immediately as the bulk of the class leapt to their feet and started shouting questions, denials, accusations, and even a few cat-calls. Negi, for his part, was just staring at Shizuna, his mouth open, completely thunderstruck.
ôNow now, settle down everyone.ö Shizuna waved a hand lightly, never losing her serene smile.
After several minutes, the class eventually came to order. ôThank you. Now, if anyone has questions, IÆll take them now.ö Every hand in the class went up, including NegiÆs.
ôOh my, letÆs see.ö Shizuna looked around for a moment. ôHasegawa-san.ö
ôYou canÆt do this!ö screamed Chisame, leaping to her feet and slamming her fist on her desk. ôI have rights!ö
ôWell, thatÆs not a question, but no, you donÆt. Your parents have rights over you, and everyoneÆs parents here signed the consent forms engaging you to Negi-sensei.ö From out of seemingly nowhere, Shizuna produced a stack of forms with signatures at the bottom.
ôN-no wayàö was all the shocked Chisame could utter as she sank back into her seat.
ôAnd for those of you who have permanent residence here, including Aisaka-san, Kagurazaka-san, Karakuri-san, and McDowell-san, the Headmaster has legal guardianship over you, and has signed the forms on your behalf.ö Deciding it was best not mention how each family had received a sizeable cash bonus for having their daughter participate in the program, and how that meant that the Headmaster had received a quadrupal bonus for the aforementioned students, Shizuna moved on. ôAyase-san.ö
ôShizuna-sensei, Japan doesnÆt practice polygamy. How are we all expected to be Negi-senseiÆs fiancÚs?ö YueÆs voice was as calm and unflappable as ever as she asked her question.
ôAn excellent question, Ayase-san. While you are all engaged to Negi-sensei now, only one of you is expected to marry him. The program lasts from now until you graduate Mahora High School, at which point, if not earlier, Negi will choose the girl he wants to marry, and the engagements to the rest of you will be dissolved after his marriage.ö
Pausing to make sure that Yue didnÆt have any follow-up questions, Shizuna moved on. ôKakizaki-san.ö
ôI have a boyfriend!ö wailed Misa. ôWhat am I supposed to tell him now?!ö
ôNo need to worry, Kakizaki-san, the officials running this program anticipated that some of you would already be in relationships.ö Misa let out a relieved sigh, thinking she was about to be given an exemption, when Shizuna continued, ôAnd as such, everyone here who had a significant other will find that a letter in your name has been sent to them explaining that you are terminating the relationship to participate in this program.ö
Misa, along with several other girls, just stared at Shizuna, agape with horror. Eventually finding her voice, Misa managed to gasp, ôY-youÆre breaking up with my boyfriendàon my behalf?!ö
ôYes,ö smiled Shizuna warmly. ôAnyone else? Ah, Negi-sensei.ö Finally noticing that Negi had his hand in the air, Shizuna nodded to him.
ôUmàwhy me?ö Negi managed to squeak.
ôAh, well, you were chosen for several reasons, sensei. YouÆre young enough for the program to be particularly suitable, since youÆll have several years to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Since youÆre the teacher for this class, youÆre ideally placed to get to know all of the girls. And the officials in charge of this program consider you intelligent enough so that no claim of lack of understanding can be made about the results afterwards. And also, a Miss Nekane Springfield, your legal guardian, called the Headmaster when she heard about this program being enacted and asked for you to be entered. Wasn't that sweet of her?"
Negi's jaw worked up and down, but no sound came out as that particular revelation came to light. Oneechan had entered him in this?! Was that the reason he'd been given his assignment to teach English in Japan???
About to ask if there were more questions, Shizuna paused as she heard the school bells ring. ôAh, I have to be getting back to the NurseÆs office. All of you have a good day!ö Turning to leave, Shizuna paused just before she got to the door. ôOh, I almost forgot. Since this program is enforceable by law, any of you who are caught fraternizing with another boy in a way that could be considered romantic will be subject to a fine of one-hundred-thousand yen per instance. Bye!ö And with that, Shizuna left.
Everyone in the room just stared at the door where she had left. Slowly, realizing that she wasnÆt about to come back in and declare that this was a joke, all eyes slowly migrated to Negi, who wished he had taken the opportunity to hide beneath his desk.
ôàum, well, letÆs take rollàö
Author's Notes: I came up with this idea after reading the Ask John article about why marriage was a theme in so many recent anime. I decided to try and apply that to my favorite manga, and here's the result.
Negi bowed to the class, trying not to blush too hard after having fallen for a series of traps when heÆd entered the classroom. HeÆd been so relieved at stopping that eraser from hitting him, that he hadnÆt noticed the tripwireàor the bucketàor the suction-cup arrows. It had been mortifying to then have Shizuna-sensei fuss over him and scold the girls on his behalf.
The girls of 2-A, for their part, seemed completely nonplussed with what theyÆd just been told. This little foreign boy was their new teacher? A few students, however, didnÆt seem quite so flummoxed by the news. Asuna was still glaring, obviously upset about what had happened before class. Across from her, Konoka was trying to give Negi her best ôhang in thereö smile. In the back of the room, Evangeline A. K. McDowellÆs eyes narrowed as she focused on the young boy, considering the possibilities of what his being here meant for her. Nodoka Miyazaki just trembled and hoped that the new teacher wouldnÆt call on her for anything.
Negi fidgeted as the silence stretched out. Was he supposed to be doing something now? ôUmàö
ôExcuse me Negi-sensei, but if itÆs alright, IÆd like to make another announcement,ö interrupted Shizuna.
ôOh. Ah, please go ahead,ö nodded Negi, grateful for all of the eyes in the classroom to be taken off of him. He took the opportunity to retreat behind the large desk that was off to the side of the blackboard.
ôThank you.ö Walking towards the front of the class, Shizuna smiled and spread her arms wide. ôIÆd like to offer a big æcongratulations!Æ to class 2-A for having been selected for the National Family Incentive Program!ö
A confused murmur broke out among the class. The National Family what now?
ôAs you may know,ö explained Shizuna, ôdata suggests that economic growth and prosperity are directly tied to social trends, particularly where familial growth is concerned. As such, earlier this year the Diet approved this trial program to see if it was possible for the government to foster such sentiments among the youth of our nation. Mahora Academy, and subsequently class 2-A, was selected to be the group for this study.ö
By now, most of the students in the class, and Negi, were staring at Shizuna blankly, having been completely lost. A few, however, were able to keep up, and were starting to get nervous about where this was going.
ôAs such,ö smiled Shizuna, not missing a beat, ôyou are now all officially fiancÚs of Negi Springfield! Congratulations!ö Acting as though she hadnÆt just dropped a massive bomb on the entire class, Shizuna started clapping. She was the only one.
ôWHAT?!ö was the chorused reaction of the rest of the class. Chaos descended immediately as the bulk of the class leapt to their feet and started shouting questions, denials, accusations, and even a few cat-calls. Negi, for his part, was just staring at Shizuna, his mouth open, completely thunderstruck.
ôNow now, settle down everyone.ö Shizuna waved a hand lightly, never losing her serene smile.
After several minutes, the class eventually came to order. ôThank you. Now, if anyone has questions, IÆll take them now.ö Every hand in the class went up, including NegiÆs.
ôOh my, letÆs see.ö Shizuna looked around for a moment. ôHasegawa-san.ö
ôYou canÆt do this!ö screamed Chisame, leaping to her feet and slamming her fist on her desk. ôI have rights!ö
ôWell, thatÆs not a question, but no, you donÆt. Your parents have rights over you, and everyoneÆs parents here signed the consent forms engaging you to Negi-sensei.ö From out of seemingly nowhere, Shizuna produced a stack of forms with signatures at the bottom.
ôN-no wayàö was all the shocked Chisame could utter as she sank back into her seat.
ôAnd for those of you who have permanent residence here, including Aisaka-san, Kagurazaka-san, Karakuri-san, and McDowell-san, the Headmaster has legal guardianship over you, and has signed the forms on your behalf.ö Deciding it was best not mention how each family had received a sizeable cash bonus for having their daughter participate in the program, and how that meant that the Headmaster had received a quadrupal bonus for the aforementioned students, Shizuna moved on. ôAyase-san.ö
ôShizuna-sensei, Japan doesnÆt practice polygamy. How are we all expected to be Negi-senseiÆs fiancÚs?ö YueÆs voice was as calm and unflappable as ever as she asked her question.
ôAn excellent question, Ayase-san. While you are all engaged to Negi-sensei now, only one of you is expected to marry him. The program lasts from now until you graduate Mahora High School, at which point, if not earlier, Negi will choose the girl he wants to marry, and the engagements to the rest of you will be dissolved after his marriage.ö
Pausing to make sure that Yue didnÆt have any follow-up questions, Shizuna moved on. ôKakizaki-san.ö
ôI have a boyfriend!ö wailed Misa. ôWhat am I supposed to tell him now?!ö
ôNo need to worry, Kakizaki-san, the officials running this program anticipated that some of you would already be in relationships.ö Misa let out a relieved sigh, thinking she was about to be given an exemption, when Shizuna continued, ôAnd as such, everyone here who had a significant other will find that a letter in your name has been sent to them explaining that you are terminating the relationship to participate in this program.ö
Misa, along with several other girls, just stared at Shizuna, agape with horror. Eventually finding her voice, Misa managed to gasp, ôY-youÆre breaking up with my boyfriendàon my behalf?!ö
ôYes,ö smiled Shizuna warmly. ôAnyone else? Ah, Negi-sensei.ö Finally noticing that Negi had his hand in the air, Shizuna nodded to him.
ôUmàwhy me?ö Negi managed to squeak.
ôAh, well, you were chosen for several reasons, sensei. YouÆre young enough for the program to be particularly suitable, since youÆll have several years to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Since youÆre the teacher for this class, youÆre ideally placed to get to know all of the girls. And the officials in charge of this program consider you intelligent enough so that no claim of lack of understanding can be made about the results afterwards. And also, a Miss Nekane Springfield, your legal guardian, called the Headmaster when she heard about this program being enacted and asked for you to be entered. Wasn't that sweet of her?"
Negi's jaw worked up and down, but no sound came out as that particular revelation came to light. Oneechan had entered him in this?! Was that the reason he'd been given his assignment to teach English in Japan???
About to ask if there were more questions, Shizuna paused as she heard the school bells ring. ôAh, I have to be getting back to the NurseÆs office. All of you have a good day!ö Turning to leave, Shizuna paused just before she got to the door. ôOh, I almost forgot. Since this program is enforceable by law, any of you who are caught fraternizing with another boy in a way that could be considered romantic will be subject to a fine of one-hundred-thousand yen per instance. Bye!ö And with that, Shizuna left.
Everyone in the room just stared at the door where she had left. Slowly, realizing that she wasnÆt about to come back in and declare that this was a joke, all eyes slowly migrated to Negi, who wished he had taken the opportunity to hide beneath his desk.
ôàum, well, letÆs take rollàö
Author's Notes: I came up with this idea after reading the Ask John article about why marriage was a theme in so many recent anime. I decided to try and apply that to my favorite manga, and here's the result.
