Mayhem at the TFF - Insanity's Prelude

[H-Man]

The blast WOULD have connected, yes... if it wasn't for the distortion that was formed before the ship, sending it a while away... behind Granzon, where it was bound to strike.

"Koe, what an irritating bunch..." Ernest grunted, before dropping the wrench he was using earlier, and creating a huge ice forcefield around the ship, also severely reducing the temperature for a few miles. "Now can I work in peace? Jeez, this place is still too hot!"

"So, what do we do next?" Siv asked, and Eczel just shrugged.

"Maybe we could try and see what's the deal with that city that is in a collision route against us?"

Everyone in the crew who could hear him blinked.

Then, they began panicking in all sorts of manners.

 

[Zenithos]

Inside the airship Zeni once again found himself face to face with more meat-packed insanity. This one came in the form of a large purple dinosaur, which was singing a rather familiar happy tune. "I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME!"

"Oh....I thought we cleared up your lolicon ass back down in the lobby..." Zeni said, taking out a shotgun. BANG. "And another one of Ttestagr's spawn bites the dust." Zeni sighed, pumping his shotgun.

Just then, a horde of teletubbies bounded out and ran straight at him. "BIG HUG!" The multi coloured bipedal bean bags shouted cheerfully, in tones that could make cold-blooded murderers confess in fear.

"AAAAAGHHHHH!" Zeni screamed, quickly unloading the contents of his shotgun. "GAY AND HAPPY DOLLS! AAARRRGHHH! DIE!"

------------------------------------

"Obviously, that airship is just a fake. No way it can pull something the size of city 13." EI said, pointing out this simple fact, shooting down an errant cybuster. "So, obviously, it's a trap to entice moronic action heroes who're all brawn but no brains."

----------

"Precisely, my dear," Ttestagr smiled happily, squeezing a button. "I love working for the TFF..."

-----------------------

"See?" EI said, as the airship went supernova.

"Then what's moving the city?" BTB asked as thousands of telletubbies and pedo Barney the friendly dinosaur clones rained down all around him.

"Trouble, BTB, EI." An urgent voice crackled over what seemed like a radio.

EI immediately looked around. "Alche? Where'd you store the radios?"

"You don't wanna know. Listen, this is important. There's something big and powerful moving the city and it's on a collision course with everything we hold dear on the internet." Alche said urgently.

"....even all my gundam wing fanfics?" EI asked. A missfire from the Granzon incinerated the earth right behind her.

"Yes, everything worth seeing on the internet....it will all go nova if we don't do something!" Alche shouted in panic.

"Then we'd better find out what's happening, and fast." BTB said, oblvious to the cybuster creeping up behind him. "So now we should....oops..."

"The answer....it must be in the central dogma." EI said, looking back up at the TFF HQ, oblivous to, or rather, ignoring the fact that BTB was in mortal peril. "This'll be the longest Christmas Eve ever...."

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

"Hey, I got a pocket universe you can use." David called, grabbing EI and BTB by the collar.

"Shall we go?"

 

[ttestagr]

Ttestagr sighed to DAA. "I'm trying to find out who is behind these raids. The most likely option at this time is that the group that contracted Zeni-chan is secretely a yaoi jihadist movement from the pits of FF.net. He Who Must Not Be Named is working on a chapter that if successfully released on schedule just may bring about the end of the mindless yaoi scourge. Zeni is trying to stop this, though I don't think she knows the truth behind her mission. I could be wrong though. If you fail to prevent these insurgents from disrupting He Who Must Not Be Named, the yaoi scourge will continue. The interbut is in your hands. I have my clone and my new Mara/Motoko fusion attacking now to aid you. The price of failure is unspeakable."


_______________



Downstairs, as the Granzon fired indiscrimantly, an explosion of ki and light shook the middle of the battlefield. Standing in the crater was a red haired woman with slightly asian features. She was holding a katana and a lightsaber.

"Statement: A Jedi here?! I will riddle the meatbag with holes."

Mara/Motoko (hereafter known as Mako) spun towards HK-47 and brought her katana up to deflect the bullets away from her. With a slash of her lightsaber, she sent a wave of ki and light to counter the droids attack.

"Exclamation: My beautiful frame is damaged!" HK yelped out as the attack tore through its shoulder mechanism.

_______________


Floating above the conflict, Btestagr readied a volley of blasts. Looking at his hammer, and the WORTHY bracelet on his wrist he couldn't help but think how stupid the thing looked.

"What I do to get temporary power of a god."

Spinning his 'one use' Mjonlir, lightning fell like rain upon the contestants.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

"Oi, weren't you paying attention? I created that fusion of Mara Jade and Motoko Aoyama, not you! ME!"

 

[ttestagr]

"But I stole her DAA. If you wanted to keep her you shouldn't have left her lying around ignored. Don't worry, I'm enjoying having her as my subordinate what pretty destruction she unleashes *giggle*

 

[GenocideHeart]

As Btestagr messed around with the one-use Mjolnir, Loki decided to have some fun, and teleported a charging Juggernaut on a collision path with him.

C R U N C H

"I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" the red-armored criminal shouted after flattening the unfortunate clone, just before disappearing again.

----

Meanwhile, downstairs, GH grew severely irritated.

"Dodge my attacks with cheap plot devices, will you? Dodge THIS!" he shouted, activating the Granzon's ace in the hole.

The ship's crew once again attempted to displace the vessel... only to get nailed by the Granzon's MAP version of the Black Hole Cluster.

GH grinned as he surveyed the damage from the clean hit.

"Less powerful it may be, but when it hits everything within kilometers, it's well worth it!" he cackled, before he resumed slashing the stuffings out of the fake Cybusters with the Granworm Sword.

 

[Zenithos]

"What's the point of asking if you're going to throw us in anywa...AAAAGHHH!" EI screamed as David threw both her and BTB into the pocket universe.

"Now....where will this lead us, exactly?" BTB asked. "Ok...maybe I assumed too much. The correct question is, what's the point?"

"...I got beer and donuts...." David offered as the pocket universe zipped itself back up.

"There's a good point." EI said, taking one of the proffered donuts. "Yum, Dunkin Donuts."

"I'd kill for some watermelon bread right about now...." BTB sighed.

---------------------

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH" Zeni screamed, as he and the burning wreckage of the totalled airship together plummeted towards the earth.

SMASH.....

"I've run out of phoenix downs....but I came across a cache of T-virus containers." AMM said, running over to Zeni's carcass. "Uhh....I guess you're in no condition to give any opinions so pucker up." AMM said, opening up Zeni's mouth, inserting one of the T-virus glass containers, and cracking it using Zeni's jaw. "That should do it."

"...RAAArRGHHH...." Zeni moaned, sitting up slowly, before looking around at AMM. "RWOAARGHH..." A panting Dubrichius tripped over Zeni and fell face forwards into the ground.

"Ughh...huh? A zombie? and why's it gnawing my leg?" Dubrichius asked, looking down at the ravenous Zeni.

"I think he's hungry....he's so cute when he's munching...." AMM smiled, patting Zeni on the head. "Ok, I'm going to go look for EI and BTB. Stay here and play nice, Zeni."

"RAAARRGH" Zeni groaned, munching on, as Unknown and GH approached.

"I think I need my legs now, ZombieZeni." Dubrichius pointed out.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

"I'm trying to find out what the hell is going on, and it may require going on an RPG-type quest. Oh, and here's some watermelon bread." David said, handing some over.

Seeing their expressions, he shrugged. "In this mini universe, I'm God. I can do what I damn well please."

 

[H-Man]

Eczel watched, as the Black Hole Cluster began generating... and sighed. "You know, I'd think he'd learn not to try and use this kind of thing..." he told the others, shrugging, before raising his left arm, doing the equivalent of 'skipping' GH's 'turn', and then blinking. "Oh, wait, the Bergelmirs are here... should we stop them?"

Sounds of destruction and carnage came from outside the forcefield.

"Nah..." Tom decided, even as the batteries recharged.

 

[GenocideHeart]

GH shook his head and muttered darkly.

"Figures Eczel would show off. Should've known it was him. Oh well," he said as he hit the comm switch.

"Yeah, Naota? He's here. Yeah, wear Masakadus. Yeah, I'll leave you to deal with him. Should be fun to see how he'll react to your latest 'toy'. Yes, later."

GH hit the off switch with a satisfied smirk. "As they say, if one is a munchkin, be a bigger munchkin... and you don't get any bigger a munchkin than the guy who's immune to everything and does massive overkill damage if you try to cheat," he cackled as a flash of light signaled that the Demi-Fiend had boarded Eczel's ship, followed by several loud explosions as a battle broke out inside the vessel.

Nodding in satisfaction, GH then directed his attention to the incoming Bergelmirs.

"Good... more toys. Time to test the Neo Granzon..." he said as the God-Elemental Mecha of Darkness began to shift, growing more menacing looking by the second.

 

[Zenithos]

My 300th post, yay! :lol:

-------------------------

"Ttestagr!" Alche shouted, running into Ttestagr's situation room.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm busy bringing about chaos and destruction?" Ttestagr snapped testilly. "Seriously, you city 13 administration people are never in with the news, are you? YES! GO MY BARNEY AND TELLETUBBY SPAWNS! KILL THEM ALL!"

"In with the news?! Do you realize that all of city 13 along with your precious TFF HQ is going to ram into the internet's backwater zone?" Alche cried.

"So what if our fine city crushes the pathetic backwater zone?" Ttestagr asked. "GO! MAKO! YES! ZombieZeni's going that way! No! don't let him bite you!"

"The backwater zone contains everything the internet stands for...the otaku networks, hentai networks....everything we enlightened humans hold dear!"

Ttestagr almost collapsed over his control panel out of shock. "WHAT?! You're saying my unlimited harem works is in danger?!"

"Pretty much yes, if you want to put it that way." Alche nodded.

"Why?"

"Dunno. We still don't know what's happening. Though apparently the yaoi jihadists from FF.net have already started evacuating themselves and their precious yaoi out of the backwater zone." Alche said.

"...it must be them..." Ttestagr growled. "For the glory of HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED, WE SHALL BRING AN END TO THEM!"

"But the power to move city 13 like this....it can only be the power of THE ONE FANFIC, right?" Alche asked.

"You're going to suggest that a small collection of digitalized letters could move an entire brain-shaped (refer to picture above) city the size of Tokyo?" Ttestagr asked, a note of incredulity inherent in his voice.

"Y-eas...." Alche nodded.

Ttestagr seemed to give this some thought for a moment.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

David was reaching in and out of the pocket universe, grabbing things, including a slightly suprised Mutsumi Otohime and Tama-chan.

"Hey, she's my favourite character from my favourite anime series." he said by way of explanation.

 

[ttestagr]

"Hell, Mako is an anti-personel unit. She can't do much against an entire city."

Ttestagr wondered how he would fix this problem. What in his arsenal could take out an entire floating brain shaped city. Wait, Mara's force powers could be used to amplify other abilities...

I am the bone of my keyboard
Plot devices are my body and grammar is my blood
I have thought of over a thousand stories
But these hands will never write them
Not known to publication
Nor known to copyrights
My entire life is
An Unlimited Fanfiction Works

As Moniters and keyboards surrounded Ttestagr and Alche, he thought on two of his story ideas. If this was going to work he'd have to get this fusion perfect. As two females were created, he studied their forms and abilities, wondering how to best meld them together.

Pulling out a vial of green liquid to make her permanent, he created his objective. Looking at the resulting woman, he noted that she was of medium height with long red hair. Her eyes were mismatched, one green the other red. She also had no breasts to speak of.

"I'm t-tall," she stuttered. She looked down. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BREASTS." She glared at Ttestagr. "Are you responsible for this.

Backing away he tried to molify the woman. "Mara, look at all of the abilities you've gained from this fusion. You could have ended up short with breasts too big for you that would sag to your waist in about a year, instead you got this tall lithe body. That part of your creation was completely random."

She stopped and appeared to think. "I see. I'll forgive you for now, if this turns out to be useful. If not, I have the perfect means of getting back at you."

"Uh, don't forget that revenge is of the dark side."

"I won't use the force then."

Sweating heavily, he tapped a few buttons on the console behind him, bringing up a viewscreen showing his creation to everyone in City 13. Quicker than he thought someone made a very stupid comment.

"Whoa, look at her. Where're her breasts?"

A vein throbbed on her forehead. "Where did that come from?"

Ttestagr opened a quick portal, showing City 13 approaching in the distance. "In there," he pointed.

She looked out of the portal at the offending city. She began a chant that made him want to run.

Darkness beyond twilight
Crimson beyond blood that flows...

Taking discretion as the better part of valor, Ttestagr ran for his life as his new Mara/Lina fusion prepared to bring the hurt. Despite the loyalty programming in her mind and very DNA, he could very well get caught in the collateral damage.

 

[H-Man]

Said Demi-Fiend was shortly after blasted outside the ship, through the frozen barrier, all the way to the Neo-Granzon's cockpit, a weird crow-shaped machine punching it on the stomach and having black tendrils enveloping its chest and abdomen.

"See, I told you the Anti-Demi-Fiend Anti-Munchkin Guns would be useful," George commented, charging his own ADFAMG, while Stefen sighed and pointed it at the nearest target.

"Wow, talk about an oddity... so, think Eczel is going to make the Neo-Granzon stay in its transformation phase?" he asked, before a tall man came running by, carrying two rather familiar brothers, one wearing red and the other wearing blue.

"Okay, we've had enough trouble dealing with those guys. Now just bring Firzen into the mix and solve this!" he grunted, before throwing the two brothers all the way into the battle space, before the hole closed again.

(OoC: Those two can be used by your lot, unlike the others... they're those guys from 'Little Fighter 2', who can turn into Firzen. Except they shouldn't be defeated before my next post.)

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

"Oh, and before I forget, does anyone know how the Mission Briefings for the Soviet Campaign in Red Alert 2 go?" David asked out of the blue.

 

[GenocideHeart]

GH watched with amusement as the Demi-Fiend shrugged the blow off and unceremoniously ripped the machine and tendrils off him. His grin widened as he saw Naota's expression.

The Demi-Fiend was PISSED.

GH smirked as he watched Naota charge again in the ship, which was promptly followed by a rather large blast and someone other than him getting punched out of it and embedded in the ground.

Returning his attention to the Bergelmirs, GH fired another Black Hole Cluster at the closest one, sending it careening uncontrollably in the ground, while idling deactivating the Volkruss protocols.

With the Destruction God running rampant and only his will keeping it in check, GH was fairly sure no one would be stupid enough to tamper with the Neo Granzon again.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

(Suddenly the "Monty Python Foot" descends and crushes the Destruction God, in a comical fashion.)

"I've always wanted to do that." David said.

 

[GenocideHeart]

(Suddenly the "Monty Python Foot" descends and crushes the Destruction God, in a comical fashion.)

"I've always wanted to do that." David said.

(Psst, DAA. Volkruss isn't a physical entity. :rofl: )

----

As DAA cackled about his pointless action, he failed to notice a portal opening up behind him, and something charging out of it.

C R U N C H

"I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" a familiar red-colored shape shouted before disappearing again, as DAA was sent in Low Earth Orbit with a shrill scream.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

(Hey, how was I supposed to know that? :huh.: )

 

[Mereo Flere]

What had Mereo been doing during the last few pages?

While the others were doing the heroing, he had decided not to try his luck again and follow them too far into the action. Having been rezzed the second time, he wanted to be sure that he didn't die a third time.

Unfortunately, though he had gone far to get away, it seemed that where he stopped to rest was exactly where another member was going to crash. Namely, DAA.

He didn't die this time. No, instead, he was simply smashed into the ground by the other TFF member. Twitching, Mereo stood up and pushed DAA off him. Cracking his knuckles, he pulled a guitar out of nowhere and knocked DAA back into the sky.

DAA sailed through the heavens, following closely the path that he had originally taken. However, City 13 had moved, and instead of returning to where he originally was DAA hurtled through several walls before finally stopping at what looked like a prison cell.

There, he found something he had never wanted to see again.

 

[Eternity-Incarnate]

"Umm...Zeni....you've created a horde of zombified telletubbies and barneys...." AMM remarked, rather worriedly, looking at the mass of zombified flesh extending as far as the eye can see. Dubrichius had somehow joined their ranks.

"Roargh?" Zeni asked, putting on a slightly confused expression, if one was possible on a zombie. A few hundred of said zombified pedo barneys and telletubbies shambled after the Granzon, some managing to catch up only to shatter their teeth on its armor.

"Ok....now we'll have to think of a plot device to cure you." AMM sighed. "Wait....I is that....wow, she's...different...." AMM shielded his eyes and looked up at the figure floating above the city. "And she's delivering hell to the city..."

"Isn't that one of Ttestagr's toys?" Mereo Flere showed up out of nowhere.

"Hey, I thought you died again." AMM said.

"Why's Zeni trying to bite my arm off?" Mereo asked, pointing down at Zeni.

"Ummm....she's just being friendly, perhaps. Down Zeni, down girl...that's a good girl..." AMM smiled, patting Zeni on the head. "But why would Ttestagr want to destroy city 13? Has he lost so much hope in fanfiction that he has decided to commit suicide and take us all with him?"

"Perhaps he just has issues with the TFF management." Mereo shrugged. Together they watched as Mara/Lina hammered hell into the TFF HQ and anything else qualifying as being city 13.

"I think we should evacuate." AMM suggested. "And no, Zeni, you can't bring your friends with you." AMM pointed at the horde. "They'll have to stay and pray they survive Mara/Lina's wrath."

"I feel a bit itchy...was it the revive spell or something?" Mereo asked.

"It's probably only the zombification taking effect." AMM shrugged.

"ZOMBIEFI-WHAT?!" Mereo cried.

Dubichrius moaned and shambled past. He paused to give Mereo a somewhat zombified satisfied look before shambling on.

".....no...." Mereo moaned.

-----------

Sorry Mereo, I didn't realize you'd show up this soon. But well...you've been zombified. Feel free to cure yourself though.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

"President Bush? What are you doing here?"

 

[Mereo Flere]

OOC: There's no need to apologize, EI. It's rather amusing being the "Kenny" of TFF XD

 

[Zenithos]

EI kneeled by one of the fallen doom legions and checked for a pulse. None. She sighed and strolled over to the unconscious body of Mereo Flere and again checked for a pulse. "Oh, BTB, we've got a live one here." She said, turning around, her heavy cloak billowing behind her.

"Him?" The man, similarly dressed, apparently named BTB, asked, scanning his face. "Nope, not a match. He's not the one we're looking for. Leave him."

"Ooh...oh well, I guess I'll just leave this bottle of smelling salt by his nose. Should help." She smiled, before getting up and following her brother. "What do you reckon happened here?"

"Sorry, quick intermission." Zeni said. "Obviously, I've been brought out of my zombified state just to give you this quick announcement. Initially I designed HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED to be an NPC (non-playable-character) but then I thought, heck, anyone of us can be HIM, and therefore I had EI edit the above scene so that Mereo would also have a chance to become HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED if he so wishes. OK, that's all."

"And now it's time to turn back into a zombie, Zeni-chan." Ei smiled, holding a container full of T-virus.

"N...no...please...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"