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Kakashi was confused. This was his new team? This was the Last Uchiha, his Fangirl, and the Deadlast? If they were, they sure could have fooled him.
The so-called deadlast was equipped with a partial suit of azure blue platemail (Platemail, for God's sake! What kind of ninja wore platemail?) worked into intricate, almost...demonic...looking patterns. The full-face helmet curved back into a wicked looking pair of horns, a mane of blond hair streaming out from under it. This was the most normal thing about the blond's appearance, however; save for his left arm, the rest of his torso was left uncovered. His right arm was humoungous, a massive clawed appendage that didn't seem to belong on any human. And the sword he was carrying topped it all in creepyness; the strange six foot long blade almost seemed to pulse with a life all it's own. As Kakashi stared at the thing in disgust and horror, the odd bulge near the handle opened. It was an eye, yellow, red-rimmed, and glaring out at the world with indiscriminate hatred.
Naruto turned to Kakashi, who flinched as the young ninja's hellish red gaze turned on him.
"Souls...need more souls..."
"Right...I'll just...save talking to him until later."
Turning away swiftly, Kakashi decided maybe he should talk to the Haruno girl. She looked the most normal out of the three of them.
"Wait a sec...where'd she go?" Kakashi was about to try and sense where her chakra had disappeared to, when he heard a feminine voice yell out over near the lake. Looking over, he saw the Haruno girl, her red and yellow jacket clashing horribly with her long and silky locks, racing towards a massive boulder that had sat by the lake since the village had been founded. It was theorized that it was chakra resistant somehow, for generations of ninja had tried to smash it unsuccessfully. Many young ninja, aiming to show their skills, had even seriously injured themselves trying to break it.
"Wait, Sakura! Stop!"
The girl ignored him completely, all her attention focused on the rock. Just as she was about to collide with the boulder head-on, she stopped.
"Whew..thank goodness. Having to file a death report wouldn't be pleasant at all."
It seemed, though, that Sakura hadn't stopped because she didn't want to break the boulder. The rosy-tressed girl thrust her pelvis out towards the rock, in a manner that earned a cringe from Kakashi, and yelled:
"ZA WARUDO!"
Kakashi blinked. What had just happened? One second Sakura was charging towards the rock again..then...
The one-eyed jounin's jaw dropped. The boulder, which had taken the best attacks from hundreds of ninja for decades, was lying in a hundred broken pieces. Kakashi's mouth worked soundlessly as he took in the utter devastation that had been wrought on the venerable old rock. It wasn't just broken, it was utterly shattered. How was something like this possible? Even without his Sharingan, he should have been able to see a genin move...that much power and speed was just NOT possible!
"Sensei?"
Kakashi couldn't help it. He jumped. Twisting around in midair, he managed to land facing the pink-haired girl behind him. "Ah, yes, Sakura, what?"
"Is that good enough? I heard from one of the older chuunins that if I could break that boulder, you'd automatically pass me..."
At this moment, there was a war going on in Kakashi's mind for his attention. One line of thought was of course dedicated to Icha Icha, but at this point, most of his mind was screaming: "Why the HELL did I get the freaks?" The small part of his mind that represented his responsible side replied: "Well, duh. Because you were too late to pick anyone else." It was quickly beaten into silence, as usual.
"Ah..." For once in his life, Kakashi was at a total loss for words. "Sure?..."
"HELL YEAH! I knew I could do it!"
As the pink-haired girl bounced happily on her feet, Kakashi turned to the last member of his increasingly strange team with a sigh. Perhaps the Uchiha would be mostly normal?
Looking at him, the boy appeared fairly run-of-the-mill, at least compared to his teammates. Despite the odd style of the clothing, it was quite a bit more normal than the other. Blue pants, a white shirt, and a long blue coat completed his ensemble. He also didn't exude nearly as much noticeable insanity as the other two.
However, the odd weapon at the young Uchiha's side did catch Kakashi's attention. The old whip was rather unassuming, but Kakashi could catch a faint feel of power from it.
The Uchiha was currently fingering the whip and glaring at his oblivious female teammate, muttering to himself under his breath. Kakashi couldn't quite catch all of it, but it sounded something like "..pire..get..next time."
Clearing his throat, Kakashi called all three of his new genin over.
"Hmm...so, you're my new students, are you?"
"Sensei."
"Ah, yes Sasuke?"
"May I use my whip to cleanse her?" Sasuke said, pointing at Sakura.
"Now, now Sasuke, I don't know what your parents let you get away with, but while you're on my team, you'll keep your kinky fetishes to yourself."
Both Sasuke and Sakura blushed crimson at that.
"That's not what I meant! She's a vampire, a temptress of the night! I have to cleanse her!"
"Ah ah ah, Sasuke, keep it to yourself, remember? You two can do whatever you want to each other on your own time, but not right now."
Overriding Sasuke's protests about his 'duty to cleanse the world of evil', Kakashi continued with his planned lesson. He'd be damned if he let a bunch of freaky kids shake him up, after all!
"Now, why don't we go around and inroduce ourselves? What are your likes, dislikes, dreams, and all that. Blue Boy, why don't you go first?"
"My name is not Blue Boy..." Naruto said, his red eyes flashing. "I like...eating souls. I dislike...the time in between eating souls. My dream is...to devour all the souls on earth, and reign supreme over the ashes of this pitiful world."
The other three sweatdropped, and backed even farther away from the blue-armored Genin. "Ah...how about you next, Pinky?" Kakashi said, attempting to defuse the tension.
"Well...I like blood, Sasuke-kun, and knives. I dislike...people who get in my way, I guess? My dream...is to make a perfect world, and live there with Sasuke-kun."
During this whole speech, Sasuke was twitching slightly, his hand jerking towards his whip every few seconds, and he was muttering under his breath yet again.
Kakashi eye-smiled as he cheerfully turned his attention to the Uchiha. "All right then, Sasuke, you look eager to talk. Why don't you tell us all about your whipping fetish? I'll lift the ban on your talking about it for a little bit, so go right ahead!"
Sasuke's mouth dropped open, and he sputtered indignantly as his two teammates giggled...well, Sakura giggled. Naruto laughed darkly, his supernaturally deep voice reverberating from within his helm.
Finally, Sasuke managed to get a few words out through his pique: "I do NOT have a whipping fetish! This whip was made to rid the world of evil beings like her! As for the rest, I like nothing in particular, I dislike..." here he gave both Sakura and Kakashi a nasty look "and my dream is to rid the world of evil. Got it? Nothing to do with a whipping fetish at all."
"Maa, it's okay to tell us the truth, Sasuke, we're going to be your teammates after all. We'll accept you, kinks and all!"
After leaving Sasuke in angry conniptions yet again, Kakashi grinned to himself. Maybe having the weirdos on his team wouldn't be so bad after all.
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For those of you who can't guess, and don't know already, here's the characters I used:
Naruto- Nightmare, from Soul Calibur. Why? I have no idea.
Sakura- Dio Brando, from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Why? For the lulz, and for "ZA WARUDO!!!"
Sasuke- Richter Belmont, from Castlevania. Why? Again, for the lulz of having him on a team with a vampire, and the whipping fetish jokes.