Naruto Naruto Petpeeves

[Knyght]

For Naruto fanfics, not the manga. Been a few years since we had one of these but some peeves are persistent while others are brand new.

1. Being told that Lee can't use chakra. Kishimoto's way of describing it doesn't help make things clear but it's a tiresome misconception. And it's sometimes worse when Lee is barely relevant but the writer mentions it anyway.

2. Ninjas only being able to learn the elements that match their "primary" or "secondary" affinity when they should, in theory, be able to master any chakra nature and learn any elemental jutsu.

3. Excessive detail about fuuinjutsu which are usually paragraphs of fictional jargon that vary between different writers. And they usually focus on the Flying Thunder God Jutsu which I'd prefer to see it treated more like the Summoning Jutsu; Naruto didn't need lessons on fuuinjutsu to learn that after all.

4. Naruto's pranks having any significance whatsoever or even continuing to do them a regular basis after he becomes a genin.

5. When the Third Hokage is treated as if he's always been Naruto's grandfather-figure or the Ichirakus being treated as his family.

So what annoys you when you read fanfiction?

 

[Amberion]

1. Narutos henge being special. It's not special dammit.

2. Tsunade hiding her age behind a genjutsu.

3. Hard work beat being a genius. It's like people think they will be the next Einstein or a top athlete without talent and just hard work.

There are more, but those where just in a fic I read a few min ago.

Ohh, just thought of an old one. It has more to do with misspelling though. Hedge no Jutsu, haven't seen that one in years though, but was fairly common to come across it back in the days.

 

[thecuiy]

Bashing. Just any kind of bashing period. If you don't like the character then CHANGE them in a good way in your story instead of just making them a massive asshole damnit

 

[Altered Nova]

Naruto being physically abused as a child. For fuck's sake, in the first chapter he defaces the entire Hokage Monument while taunting the large crowd of ninja who do nothing but yell at him and tattle to the Hokage. The only person he's afraid of is Iruka. It's pretty obvious to anyone with two brains cells who reads that chapter that Hiruzen must have forbidden anyone from ever touching the kid in a hostile way and Iruka is the only person who has earned an exception to that rule.

5. When the Third Hokage is treated as if he's always been Naruto's grandfather-figure.

To be fair to this one, he really should have been. Motoi told us it's common for jinchuuriki to be chosen from the families of the Kages to ensure their loyalty to their home village, so there really is no excuse for the Third not to have adopted Naruto, or at least tried to play a significant role in his life. Plus him being quite soft and compassionate for a ninja and caring about everyone under his command is a huge aspect of his characterization.

 

[nixofcyzerra]

It wouldn't break my SoD if some drunken Chuunin had run into a 7 year-old Naruto and tried to stab him in a drunken rage (only to be instantly subdued by an ANBU,) but entire mobs of people grabbing their pitchforks and setting his apartment on fire?

That's just ridiculous.

Kurama calling Naruto "Kit." He's not a fox, he's a sentient mass of chakra that automatically forms the shape of a giant Kitsune comprised of psudo-flesh created by chakra.

What, do they expect Kurama to start rooting through bins, or start "gekkering" whenever a threat appears?

 

[TC_Hazard]

1. Abused orphan Naruto.

2. Civilian Council.

3. Combining multiple fighting styles lets you beat Sharingan pre-cog.

4. "My precious people." Seriously, Naruto has said it all of three times in the manga if that. Don't turn into some kind of catch phrase.

5. Naruto hating "geniuses".

Bashing. Just any kind of bashing period. If you don't like the character then CHANGE them in a good way in your story instead of just making them a massive asshole damnit

Also, this.

 

[Knyght]

precious people

This phrase in general. Doesn't matter who says it or why but it seriously bugs me at this point.

 

[ankokudaishogun]

2. Civilian Council.

The existence of a Civilian Council has sense.
It having any real power over ninjas(except a very relative amount of lobbying power) is ridiculous.
If I can believe a Civilian Council managing to get a ban on the shinobi from roof-hopping(outside of AnBu and emergencies), and having actual weight in the economic direction of the village, I really cannot believe it having anything to say toward the military affairs.

 

[lord geryon]

2. Ninjas only being able to learn the elements that match their "primary" or "secondary" affinity when they should, in theory, be able to master any chakra nature and learn any elemental jutsu.

The canon explanation, I think, is that an affinity makes it easier to learn, but they're not required.

3. Excessive detail about fuuinjutsu which are usually paragraphs of fictional jargon that vary between different writers. And they usually focus on the Flying Thunder God Jutsu which I'd prefer to see it treated more like the Summoning Jutsu; Naruto didn't need lessons on fuuinjutsu to learn that after all.

Mechanics behind sealing can be useful, if it's important to the story.

As for summoning, the seal work is in the scroll. By writing their name in blood, they can use the seal in the scroll to bring a summon to them. If Naruto wanted to create a brand new summoning scroll, then he'd need to learn fuuinjutsu to do it.

1. Narutos henge being special. It's not special dammit.

Has anyone else in the manga shown them to be using Henge to do the things that Naruto does with it?

 

[13ry4n]

Has anyone else in the manga shown them to be using Henge to do the things that Naruto does with it?

But what does he do with it? Aside from surprise goddesses.

That moment was almost worth all the horse shit it took to get there.

 

[goldenarms]

1. Narutos henge being special. It's not special dammit.

Has anyone else in the manga shown them to be using Henge to do the things that Naruto does with it?

Gamabunta needed a form that had claws to hold Shukaku still.

Akamaru can transform into Kiba, and the two of them can transform into a honking huge beast-thing.

Enma transforms into a staff that's apparently unbreakable.

Mist ninja transformed into a water puddle.

Has anyone else in the manga shown them to be using Henge to do the things that Naruto does with it?

But what does he do with it? Aside from surprise goddesses.

That moment was almost worth all the horse shit it took to get there.

You're wrong -- that moment was totally worth all the horse shit in the world, especially since he got Sasuke to agree to the plan, even though he was like, "Are you fucking crazy?!" Dude was one second away from saving the world with porn.

 

[13ry4n]

if the plan is stupid but it works, then it isn't stupid.

 

[nixofcyzerra]

If it almost works, does it mean it's almost not stupid?

Also holy crap re-read that chapter Naruto practised the Sexy Jutsu more than the Rasengan?

No wonder it took him so long to get it down to a one-handed version!

 

[13ry4n]

If it almost works, does it mean it's almost not stupid?

Also holy crap re-read that chapter Naruto practised the Sexy Jutsu more than the Rasengan?

No wonder it took him so long to get it down to a one-handed version!

The jiggle has to be just right.

 

[jakkuzarippa]

one-handed version

 

[KurokamiDG]

one-handed version

:unsure:

Um...Moving on...

1. Hinata's stuttering. Like seriously, reading any fic with Hinata in it is a fucking chore just because of how they overdo the f-f-f-fu-fuck-ing thing.

It's like waiting for Jimmy to speak...

2.Kyuubi being female. There are some fics that do it in a way that doesn't bother me, but when I see it devolve into having some super busty redhead that wants to ride NINO's dick it irritates me to NO end.

3. Changing the Kurama's name just because you don't like it or it doesn't sound feminine.

4. Giving Naruto an immediate powerup. It doesn't do anything but show the readers that this is nothing but an OP guilty pleasure harem fic.

5. fg7dragon.

And to add on to that mob cliche, I hate it when they use it as an excuse to introduce the crossover/OC character that will take Naruto out of the village to train him and make sure he's badass enough to show off at the Genin exam.

For one, it's just lazy writing in general and Sarutobi would never allow some fucking outsider to take the Jinchuuriki out of Konoha.

 

[thecuiy]

What I want to know is why they would make her/it a redhead. I mean, doesn't the Kyubi have orange fur?

 

[Matdeception]

Pet Peeve? People who bitch about things that work... I kid.

1. Bashing - This isn't a pet peeve honestly, but rather the lack of reason for it is. For instance in many fics where Minato is left alive he is bashed and there seems to be little justification for it beyond he's a horrible monster. Fics where he gives up Naruto for whatever reason are a big one; Which I don't mind, as long as there's a psychological reason for this choice (Even if it hasn't been addressed yet).

I suppose bashing w/o character growth is a pet peeve. People can make mistakes, and it's human nature to call people out on those mistakes i order to make themselves feel better, or to better defend their own choices.

2. Kit - I try to ignore this word as much as possible, but an over use of it (Which could even be a single use of it with out some kind of logical fallacy to explain why it's being used) can make me click the close button faster then you can spit.

3. The Wave Mission - Okay, I get this. It's an easy run of the mill mission that I'm sure the majority of readers by now could write out verbatim. It's also a very big facet of what makes Naruto the boy he is, giving him his Nindo while causing the emotionally scarring we all love to exploit. Just... dear lord! Change it up, do something different! If I need another "DOWN!" segment I'm gonna choke a bitch.

4. Random generated hoohaa weaknesses that make no damn sense. This is usually caused by some one powering up the protagonist, which is usually Naruto, then realizing they are a little too powerful and have to throw in random horse shit just to try and build tension during combat and the like. Frankly, it's generally uneeded, as the biggest weakness everyone in the universe has is lack of information. For instance, we all know that Kakuza has some hefty effing weaknesses; Target and destroy his hearts and he's dead. Most shinobi won't have an idea about this, and will die before ever realizing the truth behind Kakuza's badassery.

Want to overpower Naruto? Or Sasuke? Or Sakura? Go for it, but bare in mind they still don't know the secrets of the universe and get roflestomped because of it. Look at Hidan, even Base that guy can be scary as hell, especially if you don't know about his blood ritual. Sure, in the grand scheme of things he wasn't anything special, but I'm sure Yugito or Asuma would give you a frowny face from beyond the grave for commenting on it.

5. Be Hokage! Dear fuck I get it, canon Naruto wants it, but holy shit change it up. How about 'BE ANBU!' or 'BE A PORN STAR' or something different. I rather enjoyed that one story who just wanted to be employee of the effing month! Such a breath of fresh air.

6. Precious people - Use the term like once or twice, but not over and over again pls.

 

[ArchfiendRai]

one-handed version

:unsure:

Um...Moving on...

1. Hinata's stuttering. Like seriously, reading any fic with Hinata in it is a fucking chore just because of how they overdo the f-f-f-fu-fuck-ing thing.

It's like waiting for Jimmy to speak...

2.Kyuubi being female. There are some fics that do it in a way that doesn't bother me, but when I see it devolve into having some super busty redhead that wants to ride NINO's dick it irritates me to NO end.

3. Changing the Kurama's name just because you don't like it or it doesn't sound feminine.

4. Giving Naruto an immediate powerup. It doesn't do anything but show the readers that this is nothing but an OP guilty pleasure harem fic.

5. fg7dragon.

And to add on to that mob cliche, I hate it when they use it as an excuse to introduce the crossover/OC character that will take Naruto out of the village to train him and make sure he's badass enough to show off at the Genin exam.

For one, it's just lazy writing in general and Sarutobi would never allow some fucking outsider to take the Jinchuuriki out of Konoha.

1. Theres are reasons I almost always ignore Naruto/Hinata fics.

This is one of them.

2. Ehhhh, I don't mind authors choosing to give Kurama a Human form. Male or female doesn't really bother me. As long as they acknowledge that it's only a form and that he/she is not, in fact, human. Pairing wise, don't mind it either, as long as it isn't the character assassination type.

3. Again, as long as it shows that it wasn't her/his original name and they picked one for themselves. Don't really care about this. Not a big deal IMO. We went nameless for a real long time.

4. Even better. Lets give him the shabyakunnegan which is perfectly capable of copying all bloodlines while turning your into a sex god for no apparent reason.

5?

Redheads are hotter? :sisi: Author fiat on that one.

Now my own:

1. Lee has no/can't use chakra. I know it was in the very first post, but the amount of either sheer stupid or flat lack of care that it takes to have used this one in the past couple of years is flat out ridiculous. In his first real fight, the gates made him GLOW with power. In pt2, He stood on water while fighting Kisame! He has no talent for ninjutsu and genjutsu. He's not incapable of using them you dense mothe-

2. Le mobs. And grimderp in general. Its about as bad as the hyper-abused HP fics lying around.

3. Complete and utter canon rehashes. Naruto awoke the rinnegan! Story proceeds in the exact same manner except with a slight amount more ass kicking.

4. Forced pairings. I read this summary and just stopped right at the end in sheer incredulity. Paraphrased: "Konoha betrayed Uzu! Something something Kiri saved them. Entire Uzu clan relocates to Kiri! Mito does not help Hashirama keep the Bijuu. Kiri gets them instead. Parents still alive!"

Completely different setting!

This could be interesting despite the probable Konoha bashing that would be involved.

"Naruto/Hinata"

5. Flat personality rewrites with no reason for it. If you have a situation (other than FUCKING MOBS) that would case a deep change in a character, then go for it! It makes for living characters! All of a sudden Naruto deciding to eat babies (I just threw something out), on the other hand, is fuck off.

6. Freshly stated, but kit. That fucking word. That word has NEVER been used in canon. Or at least I can't recall it ever being used. Kid might be a different matter, but seriously, fucking stop. I'm tired of having this one word either put me in an apathetic mood for a story or have me flat out close out a story. Fucking stop it. No more.

 

[Altered Nova]

For instance, we all know that Kakuzu has some hefty effing weaknesses; Target and destroy his hearts and he's dead.

Lol what? Saying Kakuzu's weakness is his hearts is like saying that Naruto's weakness is being decapitated. No shit sherlock, 99.9% of people in this manga will die from that. If anything Kakuzu's hearts are a strength rather than a weakness, as he has five of them compared to the normal ninja's one.

If Kakuzu has any real weakness, it would probably be his abysmal situational awareness. Kakashi snuck up on and ganked him with a jutsu named "Chidori" because it sounds like many birds chirping, and Naruto faked him out way too easily with just a few clones and some very basic feints. So the best tactic for taking out Kakuzu would be to surround and distract him with tons of clones and have assassins sneaking up on him in the chaos.

 

[Matdeception]

For instance, we all know that Kakuzu has some hefty effing weaknesses; Target and destroy his hearts and he's dead.

Lol what? Saying Kakuzu's weakness is his hearts is like saying that Naruto's weakness is being decapitated. No shit sherlock, 99.9% of people in this manga will die from that. If anything Kakuzu's hearts are a strength rather than a weakness, as he has five of them compared to the normal ninja's one.

If Kakuzu has any real weakness, it would probably be his abysmal situational awareness. Kakashi snuck up on and ganked him with a jutsu named "Chidori" because it sounds like many birds chirping, and Naruto faked him out way too easily with just a few clones and some very basic feints. So the best tactic for taking out Kakuzu would be to surround and distract him with tons of clones and have assassins sneaking up on him in the chaos.

Ah, but who assumes people have more then one heart? Let's say Kakashi didn't, and burns a heart via Chidori. If it was like Haku/Zabuza fight he kinda just stood there for a bit after delivering the blow.

Zabuza couldn't do anything.

Kakuza would be all like "Fuck! That shit takes time to replace! And Time is money!" all the while strangling the fuck out of Kakashi with his strings.

 

[goldenarms]

3. Complete and utter canon rehashes. Naruto awoke the rinnegan! Story proceeds in the exact same manner except with a slight amount more ass kicking.

Oh lawd, is that ever the truth. Even worse, the fics where Naruto gets enough power to take over a country by himself, but for some inexplicable reason he reveals none of that and remains in the Academy -- and usually deadlast. Like, seriously?

4. Forced pairings. I read this summary and just stopped right at the end in sheer incredulity. Paraphrased: "Konoha betrayed Uzu! Something something Kiri saved them. Entire Uzu clan relocates to Kiri! Mito does not help Hashirama keep the Bijuu. Kiri gets them instead. Parents still alive!"

Completely different setting!

This could be interesting despite the probable Konoha bashing that would be involved.

"Naruto/Hinata"

Now, to be fair, the fact that Naruto somehow managed to be born at all should have resulted in a near fatal headdesking on its own. With that in mind, history could have had the Hyuga clan migrate to Kiri with the Uzumaki clan for some reason, so there's somewhat a good chance that it would make sense in context. Not holding my breath on it, but there's a chance with some stories that it would make sense in context and we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

And then, there's fics like Mizukage.

Fucking Mizukage.

It's marketed as a NaruSaku story at last check, but by the time I finished reading the point where Naruto meets up with Sasuke and Sakura, I was left holding my head because I didn't want a fatal case of headdesking. Because after reading that chapter, there's literally no fucking way the author can make NaruSaku work! Not without someone catching a hard case of amnesia or some handwavey bullshittery because that was some shit that could not be undone without stealing a TARDIS.

5. Flat personality rewrites with no reason for it. If you have a situation (other than FUCKING MOBS) that would case a deep change in a character, then go for it! It makes for living characters! All of a sudden Naruto deciding to eat babies (I just threw something out), on the other hand, is fuck off.

I hate personality rewrites in general. People tend to fuck them up something fierce, especially when they want Naruto to be a hardcore badass. it's like "I love everything about Naruto except everything that makes him Naruto."

Some of my own grievances:

- Naruto with perfect chakra control. Made more exasperating by the idea that seemingly anyone can do it if they practice enough.

- St-st-stuttering Hi-Hinata. F-F-Fucking st-st-stop i-i-i-it. N-N-N-Now. I-I-If H-H-Hinata has a st-st-stuttering pr-pr-problem i-i-in c-c-canon, i-i-it w-w-ould be a n-n-noticable i-issue, r-r-right?

- Feminist!Kurenai. I blame Team 8 for this. This is the same woman that uses illusions to conceal her identity so as to eat more of Ichiraku's delicious, delicious ramen and loves herself a little nightcap. Oh, and married Asuma who is... well, Asuma, and seemingly retired at some point during the timeskip (I cannot recall her ever being with Team 8 at any point past the Chunin Exams). And she's supposed to be the feminist?

- Anko the psychopathic sex-crazed nymphomaniac. It was funny when played for laughs once. Now everyone treats it as her default mode.

- Hinata the Stalker. Even more annoying when she's using the Byakugan to stalk. Particularly hair-pulling frustrating when Pervert!Hinata is in play.

 

[jakkuzarippa]

Things that make me hit that red X button with utmost haste:

-Hanyou!Naruto
-Evil!Minato
-Kit
-Foxy Grinâ„¢
-Hiding behind a Maskâ„¢
-Fan-made nicknames (There was a fic where Team 7 called each other To, Ra and Ke...)
-Wish fulfillment fics
-Characters with a magically irresistible dick (or vagina, although this one is a lot less prevalent than its counterpart)
-98% of Self-Insert fics. The SI tends to be so smarmy, infuriatingly over-righteous and morally smug that I feel like reaching into my screen and decking the author (I like Team 8, but damn, S'TarKan is guilty of that shit too)

 

[Matdeception]

- Feminist!Kurenai. I blame Team 8 for this. This is the same woman that uses illusions to conceal her identity so as to eat more of Ichiraku's delicious, delicious ramen and loves herself a little nightcap. Oh, and married Asuma who is... well, Asuma, and seemingly retired at some point during the timeskip (I cannot recall her ever being with Team 8 at any point past the Chunin Exams). And she's supposed to be the feminist?

- Anko the psychopathic sex-crazed nymphomaniac. It was funny when played for laughs once. Now everyone treats it as her default mode.

- Hinata the Stalker. Even more annoying when she's using the Byakugan to stalk. Particularly hair-pulling frustrating when Pervert!Hinata is in play.

Not sure I'd ever call Kurenai a feminist - Though I can certainly see her, or really a lot o women, going such route when treated with absurd gender discrimination. A wolf whistle may not tickle her fancy, but a guy coming out making lewd gestures while saying he's going to tap that ass would certainly earn a kick to the crotch.

And Kurenai actually does like drinking - Favorite drink is soucha if I remember right, vodka. She does it for social purposes I'd expect.

The whole Illusion to eat more Ichiraku - First I've ever heard of this, so I'm kinda curious if it's canon or more fanon based.

As for Anko, she suffers heavily from setting a bad first impression on the readers. Yes, we all know she isn't that way, she was acting as part of her job as a proctor for the Chuunin exams, but first impressions are devil to change once made.

As for Hinata - In a way you can call her a stalker, I guess. I'm more inclined to believe she's an admirer who just doesn't know how to muster the courage to come out with it, but whatever.

 

[ArchfiendRai]

SI is auto avoid for me. AT least pretend like you're not just wishing you were your own character.

See, I'm okay with personality modifications, provided it makes sense within the context of the story. If you have a 100 year old immortal Naruto for a crossover, obviously he's not going to be the same lovable idiot. He'll still likely be a lovable idiot, but he'll have experience behind his belt. He'll have some wisdom. Maybe slightly better chakra control (He can make a rasengan without a goddamn clone).

No, what I utterly despise is what so many people do to characters like Sasuke. "I am Uchiha hear me roar I demand you give me your techniques fuck the Hokage I'm Uchiha we're better" I mean come fucking on. What part of any of that was any fun? Do you get off on character assassination? Just kill him if you bloody want to avoid him THAT much.



Godmode OP fics. Now, I like OP main characters. I've said that before. I firmly believe you can have a story still be entertaining even with an incredibly powerful main. Why? Because you ca do the same to the villains, and make for some pretty epic fights. Or you can go the Hellsing route. Thats always been one of my favorites and nobody in their right mind would ever claim Alucard wasn't a damn OP magnificent bastard.

No, I'm talking about a different kind of OP. I'm talking about the type where absolutely everything goes right for the main; where the villains have the idiot ball stapled to their foreheads or where they're turned into amusing jokes; where you just flat start making shit up just to make powerful abilities already established a joke.

I'm not going to name names or point fingers, but this was a summary I've read before:

"The Ryugan is able to copy any Jutsu including bloodlines, but for a limited time, and a full 360 degrees without a blind spot."

Oh but it's for a limited time! Thats perfectly okay right?

Fuck you.