Naruto Neesan

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm not making a killing from the Sasuke or the Sasuke : Sharingen manga, anime or even games. So characters like Naruto don't belong to me. They belong to Kishimoto.

There is a cross-over element, but I'm sure that Naoko Takeuchi of Bishojo Senshi Sera Mun fame will forgive me. Well... I'm fairly certain.

In any event, on with the show....

***
'neesan
Part 1
***

Naruto always knew he was special.

He wasn't like the others in that place. So full of tears, always crying or with angry looks on their faces.

The others had real family names. They had dead grown ups.

He...didn't.

No one had heard of any Uzumaki in Konoha. And he'd asked all the other kids and grown-ups.

Even if their eyes were cold, they still told the truth, unlike that big liar Usopp.

Sometimes at night, he'd leave from that cold place that the other kids called old home. It felt too...confining. Too...sad. Too many tears had been shed there.

No, he liked to sleep outside.

The roof of that place during summer was nice. Cooling breezes, twinkling stars that pinwheeled overhead.

But what was nicer were the parks and training grounds in Konoha. The rustling leaves, the soft animal cries in the velvet darkness, the distant stars high above framed by trees.

Those places felt nice, as if they were right. That Naruto would always be safe there.

The other children thought he was odd for liking to spend the night outside of his bed.

But they weren't special like him.

They didn't know about his secret place.

They didn't know about her.

They didn't have her. Not like him.

She talked to him.

She sang to him.

She listened to his stories without calling him a liar or laughing at him.

She told him that he was special.

And one day, he would find a way to free his neesan from her jail.

He would take her out of his special place, her home. He would show her Konoha instead of telling her about it. He would have ramen with her at Ichiraku with her just like jiji-san had ramen with him there sometimes.

***

Naruto ran.

The sun blinking in and out of the canopy of trees above him.

He was careful to pace himself. Satoshi niisan had told him and the others that feeling the burn when practicing was fine, but outside of that, overdoing things was bad.

Still, he could feel the warmth from the sun and from running.

The sound of cicadas surrounded him as he ran, trees blurring as he moved past them.

Grass rustling underfoot, the scent of wild flowers in bloom hung around him.

Sticky from the humidity of the afternoon, Naruto really wished there were big pools of water to swim in.

But the training ground he had snuck into... well, it didn't have one near where he was going.

Pausing as he entered a clearing, the young boy found himself face to face with one of the inhabitants of the forest.

Blue eyes met golden eyes.

A low growl from the white furred tiger was replied to by an answering one by Naruto.

The tiger broke first and looked away.

Neesan had told him to not back down from silly animals. They had to be shown who was in charge.

He didn't know how or even why the tigers and other animals in the forest listened to (feared) him when the grown ups and the other kids in Konoha didn't listen to him. At least not like the animals did.

And really, the forest wasn't that scary. He didn't really see why they fenced it off.

***

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Pita.

Pita.

Pita.

Naruto continued running.

Ah. Looming over its clearing, he could see the tall tree that reached for the blue heavens like a giant spear of green.

And all too soon, he was at its base. Exhaling a sigh at the wave of cool air, he crawled into the rock encrusted hollow at the base of the tree.

With its entrance concealed by massive roots that flowed around and in front of it, the hollow was easy enough to miss if one wasn't looking for it.

More importantly, the interior of the hollow stayed nice and cool even in the blistering summer that washed over Fire country every year.

Blinking away the spots from his eyes, Naruto continued crawling into the heart of the hollow.

While there was some light from the entrance, there was soon not quite enough to make out the details of the hollow.

Beyond the fact that there was a solid floor of smooth, cold stone that he ended up crawling on. That and the heart of the hollow was large enough for a small group of grown ups to stand in. Not that they would be able to easily get in to that point.

Standing up right with a stretch, he scowled at the sticky feeling under his white tee-shirt.

"Summer sucks," He sighed with a decisively nod.

Sitting down once more, Naruto looked for the carvings on the rock suface before brushing them lightly. The flaring of the words traced in the rock's surface wasn't enough to blind him, but the lavender glow was enough for Naruto to truly make out the interior of the hollow.

He was soon surrounded by a ring of strange words; the certain flowing pattern to them made Naruto certain that they had to be words. Even if the words looked nothing like what Satoshi niisan was teaching him and the others.

The first time this had happened, he had been surprised. Now... it was something to be expected. As was what happened next.

Rings of glowing light rising from the ground to surround him before flaring white and dying away.

To reveal a much larger space.

Looking downwards from the rim where he stood, Naruto's lips curved up slightly at the sight of the crystal that glowed with a soft white light from where it rose from the center of the bowl-like cavern.

"neesan..."

***

"And that was when Hikaru-neesan asked Satoshi-niisan what was so great about being a ninja," Naruto gestured wildly with his hands, his excitment making his attempts at sitting down almost futile.

"Really? And what did this Satoshi-san do?" Naruto smiled at the low whispery voice echoing around him as he gazed up at the crystal pillar that glowed softly.

He could see her where she floated inside the crystal; a flowing river of hair black as night shrouded her body, but he could imagine what she looked like.

With a gentle face like that, a pair of lavender eyes that was always warm and never mocked him or even looked at him coolly, 'neesan was more beautiful than anyone else.

Not even those nice ladies with the weird eyes were as beautiful as 'neesan was in his eyes.

The fact that she was stuck in a crystal pillar was something that he accepted. That he could hear her words without her seeming to talk, strange but acceptable. She had to be some kind of super kunoichi to do that.

"Well... Satoshi-niisan called his friends from where they were talking with some of the other children," Naruto settled into a slightly more comfortable position from where he was seated before her.

The hard edged grooves in the ground that carried the glowing greenish-blue water from the base of the pillar, and up the slopes of the bowl around them in patterns made settling himself comfortably slightly difficult.

"And they all started walking up the wall of the building and started to dance. You should have seen the looks on everyone's faces when they started dancing as if they were on the ground and everyone else were on the wall or something."

A soft cool breeze brushed Naruto's unruly blonde hair, dislodging some of the dirt from his journey here. The breeze faded away, leaving behind the scent of lilacs and roses. "That must have been a sight to see. I'm afraid I don't have anything new to talk about... would you like to see more of my past?"

"That would be cool, 'neesan," At Naruto's reply and rapid nod, the world around him washed away into white.

***

In the distance the girl could hear the spirits of the eight winds howl and roar as they raced across the frozen plains, the ice and snow cracking beneath their paws.

Breathing out a puff of mist in the cold air, she turned to look at the heavens. Haloed by the dark heavens, her world glowed blue with (basked in) the faint light from the distant heart of the Pax Selene.

Dominating the heavens like the queen that it was, her world glimmered with energy that she could feel (taste, touch). Drawing comfort and strength from the sight, she drew in another frigid breath.

Her strides forward left no sound, and her boots but the faintast of prints in the almost pristine field of snow behind her.

Before her, she could see her destination; a temple nested higher on the slopes of the small mountain that she was ascending. Rising out of the snow here and there were small boulders, with menhirs buried in the snow amidst said boulders.

The traceries and runes on the menhirs warded the temple. Shielded it from prying eyes. Cloaked its presence in layers upon layers of protections and glamours.

And as she walked winding path up the gentle slope of the mountain, she could feel the discordant sounds intrude upon her senses.

Sharp murmuring that were a blasphemy to her soul and that which she belonged to.

Prayers to that which was Anathema.

Keeping an even pace and dressed in the robes of a postulant, she presented the very image of a harmless wanderer. A small lie she permitted herself.

The tinkle of snow crunching beneath her boots accompanied the girl's breaths as the howl of the winds faded into the distance.

"Halt!"

She allowed a tiny sad smile to grace her face, while the cowl of her robes shielded her eyes. She had hoped that the guards would permit her entry, a vain hope. She had hoped to conceal her presence til she had no other choice to unveil her glory.

"Hey... stop," A soft hum of metal upon wool as a pair of blades were drawn to point at her.

"It is most regrettable that in this day and age, there are those who are so unreasonable." She continued walking, the drawn blades ignored. "It saddens me to be unwelcomed."

A sigh as she shook her head in sorrow.

A tiny and minute flare of the energy (essence, life) that flowed within, and space twisted upon itself.

"Oh god..." Panic and fear blossomed upon the faces of the pair that stood before her. "It... it's HER!"

A sweeping gesture, a flash of silver and magic was performed.

Two became four.

But four proved to be not as good as two. For the two men found existence as four to be unbearable and thus... perished.

Humming a lullaby softly, she made her way up the granite steps, glaive clasped in her hands behind her back.

***

To be continued
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#2
I'm not making a killing from the Sasuke or the Sasuke : Sharingen manga, anime or even games. So characters like Naruto don't belong to me. They belong to Kishimoto.

There is a cross-over element, but I'm sure that Naoko Takeuchi of Bishojo Senshi Sera Mun fame will forgive me. Well... I'm fairly certain.

In any event, on with the show....

***
'neesan
Part 2
***

Pita.

Pita.

Pita.

Pita.

The small pebbles on the road clattered as Naruto ran.

Arms stretched out to the sides, he was a falcon circling the skies.

His prey were a small line of ducks.

Admitedly, Rakka-san wouldn't like being thought of a duck.

And the others wouldn't like being thought of as baby ducks.

But they were moving so slow.

And in a straight line too.

Little ducklings quacking as they waddled from their nest, its grey walls standing tall, its height bound by brown tatched roof.

The skies was blue, dotted with white puffy clouds that hung motionless like the clothes on the bamboo poles. The light breeze was, perhaps, just enough to keep people from becoming sticky with sweat.

The sun hung high above, unblinking.

A golden ryou that shone with the light and heat of Amaterasu-?mikami as she gazed down upon the world.

The trees to the side of the road offering precious shade, but Rakka-san had told them not to run amongst the trees.

And so, Naruto screeched like a mock-falcon as he wheeled around the others, his golden hair waving in the breeze, a reflection of Amaterasu's glory above.

***

With its cacophony of voices as house-wives and shoppers wandered the market and bargained with merchants and storekeepers, the market was certainly crowded.

Far too crowded for Naruto's taste. But he had been brought along with some of the others by Rakka-san to help carry home the things for food.

It wasn't the first that Naruto had been to the market, and it was just as busy as ever.

Admitedly, as he stayed behind Rakka-san with the others, it was however the first time that he caught the scent of something familiar here.

At least familiar to him, hidden and mixed amongst the scents of living fish, fresh and bloody meat and plants, cooked food and the scent of grown-ups.

Even if he wasn't expecting to smell it here and not in the forest.

He would always remember the smokey scent of flowers, fire and blood. It was one of the nice ladies.

The ones who played with him at night, when he went out to the parks and forests. And gave him snacks... some times.

Amongst the grown ups in the market, it was easy to miss her. Since she wasn't wearing her mask or the black uniform and green vest. And had on a dress like the other house-wife grown-ups.

But his nose had never lied to him. Yet.

"Doggy-san!"

A pair of midnight black eyes blinked with bemused puzzlement at sky blue eyes, which blinked back in surprise.

"Anou-sa, Doggy-san... your eyes, they're not red with those swirlly black things." Beside him, Rakka looked with horror at who Naruto was addressing as 'Doggy-san', the lit cigarette slipping out of her mouth.

"Uchiha-san, I must appologize for Naruto here," Naruto turned to look at Rakka-san as she bowed low to Doggy-san before she turned to glare at him as if telling him to appologize. "He is still young, please forgive him his rudeness."

A frown slowly formed on his face as Rakka continued to give him the angry look. She was Doggy-san, right? That was, after all, what she had told him to call her. And she wore that doggy mask.

A gentle laugh, it sounded exactly the same when she gave him the sweetmeat on a stick, accompanied by a gentle hand that rustled the hair on his head made him look up from where he had been staring at the ground.

The fragrance of flowers, blood and fire grew strong as she bent over to rustle his hair. "It's fine. Ne, Naruto... when I'm not wearing my mask, you'll have to call me Uchiha-san and not Doggy-san."

"Kay... but why?" He tilted his head to look at her face.

"Well, Naruto. When I'm wearing my mask, I'm on duty protecting Konoha and the people who are important to me," Her crimson lips slowly curved upwards. "But I can't do my job properly if people know that it's me under the mask. It's the same with the rest of the ANBU, the people who wear the masks."

"Oh... I think I want to be like you, Uchiha-neesan," Naruto beamed at the older female. "I want to be able to protect everyone that's important to me."

"Well, you're six this year, right?" At Naruto's nod, she continued on. "Then, you'll be going to the ninja academy. Because that's what I am, a ninja."

Naruto's statement of "Yeah, I'll be the bestest ninja ever." brought another laugh from the older lady who stood up once more, before she walked away with a smile and shake of her head.

***

"Jii-san! Jii-jii-san!" The cries of children calling that out as they swamped him brought a smile to the Hokage's face.

It was rare for him to visit the orphanage, but he did do so occassionally. A task that he scheduled at least once a month, after all the children in Old Home were his wards.

His responsibility.

"Jiji! I'm going to be a ninja!" The hokage blinked as several of the older children declared their intent to join the hidden village's military.

"Oh ho? Is that so?" His reply was with a smile of an old man who was listening to his grandchildren tell him what they wanted to be when they grew up. Not that it was inaccurate.

"Yeah! I'm wanna walk on walls!" "I wanna be breath fire!" "I wanna change shapes!" One by one, the children shouted out what they wanted to do.

"I wanna be like doggy-san and the other anbu-neesan!" Naruto's shout brought a raised eyebrow from the Hokage.

"And why do you want to be in the ANBU, Naruto?" The elderly nin had a look of interest on his face now. Children didn't usually want to be ANBU or even knew what ANBU were.

"I'm going to be the bestest ninja ever and protect everyone. That's what the ANBU do. I wanna do that," The honest look on Naruto's face as he said that reflected the looks the Sandaime had seen on other nin.

"That's good, Naruto. If you can remember that and are willing to work towards that. I'm sure you'll be able to join the ANBU one day," A fine ambition that, wanting to protect one's precious people.

***

To be continued
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#3
Yeah... amazingly, it's not dead... I'm just really slow and somewhat busy.

Work has kept me from doing more than thinking.

That and I'm sticking this in sequence.

If I DO do any out of time/place snippets, it'll be in the original thread
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#4
C&C is as always welcome... as a fyi. B)
 

marthf1

Well-Known Member
#5
Progress from the last snippet, but nothing has caught my notice as of yet. Er, disregarding grammar and such since I only notice them when they are excessively horrible. Meh, my writing and reading standards are different. Anyways, other than making me desperately wonder who in particular are the two important ladies, confirmation that is, this is not far enough along for a person of my capabilities to help.

I did like the Sandaime scene and how Naruto sets himself apart. Ah youth, it can be such a gorgeous thing.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#6
Thank you. :lol:

And yeah, a chance encounter with Uchiha-neesan made some changes to Naruto's goal. He doesn't want to be a Ninja or Hokage to be respected and acknowledged. He wants to protect people.
 

cgobyd

Well-Known Member
#7
It is coming along nicely. Though this snip just makes me want more.

Nothing I saw grammer or spelling wise needs to be fixed.

Again I hope to see more.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#8
Though I don't remember much from before it seems much better.

But still, the best line remains the same.

"Even if their eyes were cold, they still told the truth, unlike that big liar Usop."

Though you should at least spell cameo characters names right.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#9
Given that I copy and pasted that part in straight...

I guess I could change the name ^_^
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#12
***
'neesan
Part 3
***

Sasuke screamed as he woke up, clutching at the blanket that covered him. He could see the way his brother killed each and everyone in the Uchiha district.

The gentle whisper of steel parting flesh as easily as air and water. Futile attempts to fight back merely prolonged things.

He could feel each and every stab, slash, crushed throat....

An endless night under a crimson moon. Ebon pinwheels spinning in crimson orbs filled his world.

"Sasuke.... shh shh... I'm here," He could hear his mother as he was hugged by her. The fragrance of incense filled his nose as her hair covered his face. But he couldn't see. Something was wrapped around his head, around his... eyes.

"It'll be alright," the gentle voice of his mother calmed down the bird-wing beating of his heart.

"K.... 'kaasan, my... my eyes?" the dried croaking of his voice and the pain as he spoke brought to mind when he had been trying to master the fire jutsu that 'tousan had taught him.

"Th... they're just covered, Sasuke," The relief in his mother's voice at his question didn't exactly ease the notion that there was something wrong with his eyes. Without their eyes, a Uchiha was worthless.

"But they need to stay covered, 'kay? Sasuke. The doctors need to make sure that your eyes are working properly and that you're taught before unsealing them." The manner that she spoke, the inflection of her voice.

"Kaasan? What... what's wrong?" He dry-swallowed. He wasn't blind, but?

"Just rest for now... do you want anything?" The sigh and rustling of clothing against cloth as she settled on the bed, while hugging him eased his fears somewhat.

"Wa... water, ple...ase."

"Of course," He could hear water being poured from a flask into a cup that was pressed to his lips. "Just drink slowly. You've been unconcious for three days now."

As he lay back down on the bed after sipping at the water, she spoke once more. "Afterwards, I'll teach you how to turn off your sharingan. That's why your eyes are sealed. To prevent them from draining you dry of chakra."

***

Sasuke sighed as he looked out the hospital window, he really wanted to leave... he had the full sharingan, and he would have his revenge on That Man.

Idly tapping the window sill, the young boy mopped. How long would 'kaasan be? She did say that she'd be coming by to take him home at noon, and it was already over five minutes past noon.

"Foolish little brother..." the exasperated sigh brought an instinctive shudder to Sasuke. The utter calmness and boredom in that tone of voice told Sasuke that this was HIM.

The one who killed everyone.

The one how he would fight and kill.

And he would avenge the Uchiha clan.

Ebon tomoes spun rapidly as the young sharingan user turned to face his brother. Before they stopped in surprise as Sasuke's eyes widened in shock.

His 'kaasan was standing behind Itachi, who... appeared to be quite wounded as if from a fierce battle and who knew what else. The signs were there from the various bandages as well as an eyepatch that covered his right eye, which did not conceal the freshly stitched scar that ran over where his eye had to be.

"I heard from 'kaasan that you thought I was the one who killed the other Uchiha," the disappointed look on his elder brother's face was enough to bring a wince to Sasuke's face. "I would have thought that you had started learning henge and its applications."

"But... I saw you."

"Yes, you did. You also had an S rank genjutsu inflicted on you... oh Sasuke, what will I ever do with you?" the sorrowful sigh as Itachi shook his head was enough to convince Sasuke that his elder brother couldn't have done it.

He would never have done it. It had to have been another Uchiha else using a henge.

"I'm sorry, 'niisan. I shouldn't have doubted you." Sighing as he relaxed, Sasuke wasn't prepared as his elder brother poked his forehead. Much like every other time he had done that.

"Foolish little brother..."

***

To be continued

*coughs* Necromancy?!?!
 

semil

Well-Known Member
#13
Not sure where the story is going, but I'm very curious to see it.

Interesting development with Itachi, and I'm curious if Sasuke's mother is Doggy-san.
 

Juopunumies

Well-Known Member
#14
It isn't necromancy if it's still twitching. I liked it, brings forth some question, which you will probably answer in the next snippet/chapter.

It's sharingan, not sharingen, by the way.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#15
Juopunumies said:
It isn't necromancy if it's still twitching. I liked it, brings forth some question, which you will probably answer in the next snippet/chapter.

It's sharingan, not sharingen, by the way.
Oh snap.... will correct.

semil said:
Not sure where the story is going, but I'm very curious to see it.

Interesting development with Itachi, and I'm curious if Sasuke's mother is Doggy-san.
Well... Doggy-san is an Uchiha... that is all. :p
 

windfalcon

Well-Known Member
#16
*blinks* A very curious difference from canon.... indeed, I too wish to see where this is going and what exactly caused the change.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#17
As for the Uchiha sitch... :evil2:

Lines were drawn and... bargains made. That is all I will say for now.
 

Lanceavalon

Well-Known Member
#18
biigoh said:
As for the Uchiha sitch... :evil2:

Lines were drawn and... bargains made. That is all I will say for now.
Mommy and big bother did some spring cleaning... then they fucked up Mandra. :evil: :evil2: :evil:
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#19
***
'neesan
Part 4
***

In the darkness and safety of her cacoon, the rustling of the moving grains of sand filled Gaara's world.

The soft shifting walls of sand were warm and comforting.

A barrier against the false world.

Against him.

The false tousan. The one who insisted that she was a boy.

That her kaasan died hating and cursing her.

Lies. Every word that he spoke was false.

Just like the world that he lived in.

Even in that false world that she dreamt, Gaara knew that her kaasan and real tousan loved and protected her. Of course, the false one and his children knew this and had tried to hide her from her tousan and kaasan.

They had told her that 'sleep' was dangerous, and to 'dream' would mean death. That she had to meditate or sleep in the safety of wards to prevent her soul from being taken by the demon that her kaasan had cursed her with during the birth that had killed her.

And for a time, she had believed them.

That they were real.

That they cared for her and had her best interests in their mind.

And thus, she existed. Sleeping without 'dreams' in the center of wards, or meditating in a trance, neither of which brought no real relief to her.

Protected by the 'demonic' sands from that which would harm her. Sand that would shield her and slay all around her at the lest of commands.

It was pure chance in the middle of a mission that the Truth was shown to her, the Lies exposed to the light of the resolute light of the sun. Ironically, this was from a shinobi who had used genjutsu to trick her into 'sleep', and in 'sleep'... 'dream'.

Oh, she humoured the false ones. Pretended that she still believed them. For her tousan, kassan, and her aunts were just waiting for her. In the state that the dream world called a 'dream', Gaara was with her true family.

With the rustling of the sand around her, and the soft thumping of her heart, Gaara's eyes closed ever so slowly.


***


Shaaa...

Shaaa...

She stretched on the beach blanket, letting the warmth of the sun overhead heat her body. The clean salty scent of brine came with the light breeze.

She breathed a soft sigh as she heard the distant cries of birds in the distance, their cries rising above the sound of the surf crashing on the shore.

Her eyes stayed shut beneath the strawhat.

Gaara much preferred the real world to the false one. She didn't need to kill or worry about being killed.

Her tousan was here to protect her. He didn't need her to fight or do the things that she had to do in the false world.

He was strong.

He was big. Big in a way that the false tousan could never be. More real and solid whenever she compared them to each other in her mind.

He was also standing over her and blocking the sun.

"Tousaaan..." She looked up at him with a pout, blinking away the spots of light in her eyes.

"Hahaha... how is my little princess today?" he knelt down at her feet as she sat up, one hand on her hat to keep it from flying off with the wind.

"I'm fine," she tilted her head, taking in his tanned body beneath his happi robe, barely held shut by a belt. A wide rimmed hat provided shade for his eyes as normal, while his long silver grey hair beneath it rustled in the slight breeze. "I had a bad dream..."

"Really? What happened in the dream?" His look of concern was comforting, even if he did seem to be humouring her.

She nodded back at him, the breeze rustling her hair and threatening to steal her hat once more. "Uh huh... the false tousan made me squish some more of the other dream people. Even the ones who weren't being bad."

"I see... well, there isn't much I can do about that bad man," Gaara smiled at the serious look on his face, he believed in her and cared for her. "But there is something I and your kaasan can do for you, but for us to be able to help you in that bad, bad dream world... there is something you need to do."

"Ara?" she didn't quite purr as he scooped her up in his arms and lifted her in a single smooth motion. The scent of dry wind, powdery sand, and sweet water hung around him like the sweet fragerance around the beautiful desert rose.

"You need to believe in us, and think of us, and just step back a little into the real world. But don't wake up, unless you have to... 'kay?" the low rumbling of his voice, as he carried her away from the beach and towards the home that she, her tousand, and kaasan shared with her aunts, filled her world.

"Of course, tousan... I'll do that," she purred, while curling up against his chest, snuggling his solidness.

"Now, we'll just need to hurry or your kaasan will be angry with me stealing all your time while she's busy... hmmm? After all, isn't today your birthday?"


***

To be continued

*coughs* Necromancy?!?!
 

Reader458

Well-Known Member
#20
Yay! An Update! :yay: :yay:
I can't wait to see how Gaaras "real tousan" will help.
 

Sect

Well-Known Member
#21
It looks interesting, but I don't see where it's going.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#22
Does it matter where it's going?

Is not the appreciation of the path as you walk down the road of life just as important as the end you get towards?

I like to think of neesan as something I do with my spare time as a reinterpretation of sorts of the Naruto-setting.
 

chady

Active Member
#23
As usual with your stories there are no grammar mistakes that pop out at me, so congrats for that.

However what I find hard for this update is the fact that I can't really understand how the update actually related to the story, it could have been its completely own thread and it would still make the same amount of sense.

We all know who Sasuke Naruto and Gara are that's not the question , but what is how they relate to each other for a story called Neesan. Anyways hopefully another update will shed some light upon how they tie into each other.

I guess a good metaphor here would be You can't really enjoy the journey if your walking through the forest at night.
 

DhampyrX2

Well-Known Member
#24
Ok, did you just make Gaara of all people into Chibi-Usa? Hotaru being sealed near Naruto was a mind trip but that was a curve I never saw coming.
 

blackkyuubi

Well-Known Member
#25
DhampyrX2 said:
Ok, did you just make Gaara of all people into Chibi-Usa?? Hotaru being sealed near Naruto was a mind trip but that was a curve I never saw coming.
Wait, what? :huh!: Guess I missed a post. I thought the Neesan was Kyuubi. <_< This day just keep getting worse.

*edit*Oohh!
 
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