Evangelion Replacements for Dr. Akagi

[GoatMan]

There have been topics on everything, from replacing the Children, their guardians, the Commander, and the bridge bunnies at one point or another in order to achieve some comical outcome. But what about Dr. Ritsuko Akagi? Surely we could pick someone else who could be far more irritating to Gendo, Fuyutsuki, Kaji, and Misato of all people.

I propose
Dr. Walter Bishop from "Fringe".

Gendo stared at the doctor, and the video feed from the entry plug of Evangelion Unit-01. "I don't see how any of this has even a remote basis in science," the man grumbled.

"...You know," the doctor began, "I once had this outstanding sub sandwich at the local deli..."

"What does that have to do with what we're doing here?"

"...Nothing..." the doctor replied. "It was just a really good sandwich."

or....

"You're going to fry my brain," Shinji screamed as he was restrained in the test plug, "just too see how electric shock changes my synch ratio?!"

"Don't worry," Bishop started as he began charging the conductive surfaces of the entry plug from the control station. "There's a marginal chance you will have no permanent brain damage." Looking at the status gauges, he lazily stared off into the distance in Maya's general direction. "It may sting a little..."

"Uhh, we're ready," the lieutenant stated.

"Excellent!" the doctor proclaimed.

 

[PCHeintz72]

Hmmm... Akagi replacements...

- The Pretender

- The Scientist in 'This Ugly Yet Beautiful World' (can't think of the name)

- Washu Hakubi (Tenchi)

- Ms. Kisaragi (Happy Lesson)

- Lilith (Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito)

- Mizuho Kazami (Please/Ongai Teacher)

- B-Ko (Project A-ko)(why not, she makes mechs)

- Kaolla Suu (Love Hina)

- Parfait (Vandread) (or maybe the one bridge bunny replacing Maya, it might be funny if she freaked each time Shinji came near)

- Lorelei (Saber Marionette J)

- Head scientist Ms. Inez (Martian Successor Nadesico)

 

[Scygnus Darkhawk]

Hakase Satomi.

Or worse, Chao Lingshen :snigger:


Or, for those of you who read webcomics, Dr. Germahn. Who, ironically, isn't German. He enjoys making Shrink Sodas. And tricking his hot assistant into drinking them.


Oh, oh, oh! Who remembers Bill and Tedd's Bogus Journey?

STATION!

:rofl:


Also: Skuld.

Oh, maybe that mad scientist guy from Midori Days, I forget his name. Nao's dad.

 

[SotF]

The Mythbusters...

 

[zerohour]

Why not Misato? Who says we need characters from other series to bring in? A stacked alcoholic scientist would be interesting.

Barring that, how about Gurren Lagann's Leeron?

Hm... for some reason, I'm wondering what Eva woui;d have been like if Ritsuko died right before/early on in the series...

 

[Luthorne]

Willy Wonka, from the books. You can't tell me that guy isn't a scientific genius, given all the gadgets he seems to have designed, though admittedly it's often used in conjunction to all the stuff he knows about plants, animals, and other miscellaneous things that virtually no one else has the slightest clue as to the existence of. And the Glass Elevator was a bizarre and twisted creation that was, nevertheless, genius.

Alternatively, alternate universe analogue of Mister Fantastic...or even the real deal, due to the Fantastic Four getting involved in yet another intedimensional accident and getting temporarily stranded...and deciding to help out while they're here, after which Reed can get to work on creating whatever gizmo he needs to get back home.

Along the same lines, there's always Doom, though I'm not sure why he'd help out. Unless it was just a way to observe the interesting technology used on the Evas and the Magi, though with his level of technological mastery, not sure how interested he'd be.

 

[SotF]

Along the same lines, there's always Doom, though I'm not sure why he'd help out. Unless it was just a way to observe the interesting technology used on the Evas and the Magi, though with his level of technological mastery, not sure how interested he'd be.

Enlightened self interest, after all, not even Doom wants to become Orange Tang.

What about someone with just a doctorate, cue Tim Taylor and Al showing up after someone jumped to conclusions due to Tim's honorary one...

 

[Lord Raa]

Professor Saotome.

You know, from Getter Robo.

 

[Luthorne]

Along the same lines, there's always Doom, though I'm not sure why he'd help out. Unless it was just a way to observe the interesting technology used on the Evas and the Magi, though with his level of technological mastery, not sure how interested he'd be.

Enlightened self interest, after all, not even Doom wants to become Orange Tang.

Well, I honestly don't imagine it would take long for Doom to figure out how to return to his universe of origin, whether it be via mystical or technological means...or both, even, unless something was basically blocking him from doing so. After all, he's a genius on par with Mr. Fantastic, who, as I recall, messes around with other dimensions a fair bit, and Doom did (I believe) manage to rescue his mother's soul from Hell. Besides, it's not like he'd know they were headed for orange tang right off the bat, presumably...he'd have to have accepted that he was stuck there for awhile, enough to turn his attention to this world while he's there. And once he did so, well...I doubt SEELE would escape his notice. Unless NERV was the jumping off point for his plans, wherein he takes over the MAGI system, possibly overwriting the senior Dr. Akagi's minds with his own, and then starts his plans to take hijack the Human Instrumentality Project for his own uses.

Actually, I'm not even sure you could Orange Tang Doom. I mean, he is a master of the mystical arts as well, so I'd imagine he'd be capable of protecting the integrity of his soul/ego unless he didn't have the slightest clue it was coming, which I doubt would be the case. And he'd have a lot of soul soup.

Just to doom everyone, how about Yawgmoth the Ineffable?

 

[Dartz_IRL]

Dr. Samantha Carter....

nuff' said.

 

[SotF]

Dr. Samantha Carter....

nuff' said.

Rodney McKay...

 

[zerohour]

Along the same lines, there's always Doom, though I'm not sure why he'd help out. Unless it was just a way to observe the interesting technology used on the Evas and the Magi, though with his level of technological mastery, not sure how interested he'd be.

Enlightened self interest, after all, not even Doom wants to become Orange Tang.

What about someone with just a doctorate, cue Tim Taylor and Al showing up after someone jumped to conclusions due to Tim's honorary one...

Actually, given how Tim always thinks they need to add more power, this might be a good idea. Hell, they'll probably end up with an orbital beam cannon or something by the 5th angel.

 

[GoatMan]

Along the same lines, there's always Doom, though I'm not sure why he'd help out. Unless it was just a way to observe the interesting technology used on the Evas and the Magi, though with his level of technological mastery, not sure how interested he'd be.

Enlightened self interest, after all, not even Doom wants to become Orange Tang.

What about someone with just a doctorate, cue Tim Taylor and Al showing up after someone jumped to conclusions due to Tim's honorary one...

Actually, given how Tim always thinks they need to add more power, this might be a good idea. Hell, they'll probably end up with an orbital beam cannon or something by the 5th angel.

"Wow..." Shinji wheezed, blinking in surprise.

"You're darn right wow!" Tim declared. "Say hello to the Binford 6100 positron rifle." At that moment, Al triggered the controls from the observation room's terminal, the overhead crane assembly rolling the weapon down the vast expanse for closer examination. "Originally the rifle only put out about 600 megawatts, but we needed just a little more for this Angel."

"Tim," Al sighed. "Please tell me you didn't-"

But Tim was already grunting, his head swinging back as he proclaimed his masculinity.

Oddly, Shinji noted something else about the rifle. "What happened to the safety switch?"

Tim rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh come on!" Tim grumbled. "When are you ever going to need that?" As Tim put a firm hand on the rifle, proud of his creation, a loud buzzing noise emanated from inside the waveguide assembly.

"FOOOOSHHHHH..." the rifle sounded, a brillliant white beam cutting through the eighteen layers of the GeoFront's defensive armor.

"Uh-oh..." Tim grunted, seeing the giant glowing slag falling from the armored walls of Cage Seven.

"What's happening there?" a loudspeaker suddenly buzzed to life. It was Major Katsuragi.

Instantly, Al brought up a large title card. "Please send all complaints to Tim Taylor... care of Tool Time..."

 

[NanuNanu14]

Dr. Reika Kitami. :evil2:

 

[JumperPrime]

Dr. Helen Magnus from "Sanctuary"

She's 157 years old, as of 2008, and still looks like she's in her 30's or 40's. Her daughter Ashley might be part of NERV security or might be running the Sanctuaries while Helen is working at NERV. Of course, she'd probably take a more active role in raising Rei, figuring that when you create a life, you're responsible for helping it develop properly.

Alternately, Nicola Tesla(Yes, THE Nicola Tesla) or at least the version from the most recent episode of Sanctuary. Roughly the same age as Magnus, but far less altruistic.

 

[Scygnus Darkhawk]

Dr. Donald Blake

:snigger:

Wiki it and you'll get immediate and obvious answers as to why that's funny.

 

[GenocideHeart]

Dr. Nusakan, from SaGa Frontier.

Those of you who know the character (all two of you, if even that) will immediately get it.

 

[randombugger]

William Weaver from John Ringo's Into the Looking Glass series

 

[Serxeid]

Dr. Donald Blake

:snigger:

Wiki it and you'll get immediate and obvious answers as to why that's funny.

I didn't even need to wiki that to get the lulz.

 

[rootathell]

Shion (Xenosaga)

 

[GenocideHeart]

Dr. Thomas Light.

Just think about it.

No, seriously, THINK ABOUT IT.

 

[EagleCeres]

Dr. Thomas Light.

Just think about it.

No, seriously, THINK ABOUT IT.

Well that scraps the whole Human Instrumentality thingo.

 

[GenocideHeart]

So we have Shinji become EVAMan, the Wimpy Blue Bomber?

Then Kaji can be Wily, and Asuka is Bass.

And Rei is obviously Protoman.

Note: EVAMan was suggested as a name by Cornuthaum. Although, to be honest, the idea pretty much writes itself. XD

 

[Jakkun]

I'm just hoping he doesn't take over all the roles of the two doctors. That would be creepy.

Pen-Pen can be the robodog.

EVAman absorbs abilities from angels and pretty much anything else interesting that pops up.

 

[Scygnus Darkhawk]

Oh shi-!

As in Dr. Light, right? I forget his first name, so I'm presuming we're thinking of the same person.

He'll fuck up Gendo and SEELE's plans badly. By making the Evangelions far too effective.

Just think about it, he created a system capable of pseudo-copying the weaponry of defeated opponents. Unit 01 would be godlike by the third or fourth (or rather, fifth or sixth) Angel. I can see Unit 01 copying the S2 Engine pretty quickly as well.

Not to mention that they'd actually start out with some decent weaponry, instead of one puny knife and an overblown AK-47.


I lulz at what the Wily/Zero/Sigma virus could do to/with NERV.


And let's not forget what happens if/when Rei 'dies'.


"Commander... I know this has been a depressing few days, but I have a supri..." Santa-sa, uh, Dr. Light stopped in his tracks, having interrupted Rei and Gendo's conversation. There was a pregnant silence as Dr. Light stared incredulously, getting only questioning looks in return. The silence was broken by a rhythmic clanking sound; steel sneakers on a metal floor.

"Doctor," Said Rei(II), walking around the corner, "I am grateful for your rescue, but was it really necessary to install a plasma cannon on my arm?" she asked, running her blue-armored left hand over the bulge on her right arm. Then she looked up, fresh optic sensors picking up more than any human eyes could hope to. Few people would have recognized it, but Rei knew the Commander's and her own face very well, and were they cartoon characters, their jaws would have rolled out the door and down the hallway at this point.

At that point, Rei's still-unpacking-to-their-new-home memory banks finally divulged the reason why she kept thinking it was a bad thing that she was still alive.

"Oh, F*** me."



After writing that snippet, the possibilities therein seem to be very intriguing. And yes, Rei actually got bleeped by her own voice-synthesizer. OOC behavior can be attributed to the fact that her brain got flash-downloaded through her Eva's connection to the MAGI, shunted to a spare hard drive, then moved into a fresh-made dual-CPU robot brain.


EDIT: And I got a bit ninja-d.

EDIT2: Also, I'm sleep-deprived. After seeing this, do you think I should sleep less or more?