Sailor Moon: Author Possession Challenge!

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Now, dear reader, I'm usually not prone to freaking out over the unusual. I'm usually pretty calm, cool, and collected. I was on 4chan for a year, that's enough to desensitize a person immensely. And I'm friends with Ero-Sennin, which also helps to desensitize someone.

But, some things are simply too unusual to greet with a cheery wave.

Such as waking up with boobs.

And a vagina.

And in Japan.

Though I am proud to say my reaction didn't really get out of hand until "my" mother came into "my" room and told me this:

"Usagi, get up for school right now! You're going to be late!"

I slowly turned my head to stare at her, eyes wide, mouth slowly opening...

"..."

"Usagi? Usagi! Did you hear what I said?" She demanded.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

My "mother" was blown back, and I scooted into a corner trembling.

I blinked. A series of rather conflicting memories popped into my head... Mostly of eating, sleeping, squealing over boys, jewelry, and food, and manga from the 1990s.

"Yes Mom... Sorry," I said quietly. She blinked, staring at me as though I was completely insane.

"Usagi?! What the hell was that?!"

"Um... I was dreaming that... I couldn't eat anymore, and a giant... Cake was trying to eat me," I squeaked.

She stared at me for a while, before sighing and turning to leave, shaking her head. My memories on Usagi's side pressed me to scowl and stick my tongue out at her back. I couldn't really argue, as I began to think frantically.

Okay, calm down, this is NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE, NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE...

I kept thinking that through breakfast, while "my" annoying little brother teased me about "my" weight. I briefly wondered if this was the "actual" Sailor Moon universe, or merely some twisted variation on the theme. Like an Abridged Universe.

That would be... Creepy, actually. Actually, this whole thing was creepy. I have to say, the fact that I wasn't curled up into a ball and sucking on my thumb in terror was a pretty good indication of my character, right?

... Oh fuck. I have to give birth to Chibi-Moon. Or maybe I don't. I mean, c'mon, "I" had blonde hair, Mamoru had black. How the hell did that work?

Oh fuck! I would have to have sex with Mamoru Chiba. Memories aside, I was pretty happy that my body responded favorably to a fantasy I quickly came up with about Rei and Ami making out.

Actually, a little too well.

This might cause some trouble.

Well... Nothing for it. I guess I have to fulfill my destiny. Which means... Urrrggghhh!

... On the other hand... Maybe destiny could be flexible. Hmmm... I'd have to see. At most, I could at least be a smartass and mess with people's heads.

In the meantime, I suppose I had better go rescue Luna. Hmmm... Maybe I should get some catnip, see what that does...

- - - - - - - -

Yeah. I'm pretty twisted. But hey, it just hit me. So, anyone who wants to, take it up. Or write me as Sailor Moon-That might be awesome to see who's take on me is funnier.

 

[Shaderic]

:huh:
This only begins to encompass the strange, strange thoughts running through my head.

And reminds me of an idea I had in a tux-boy replacement thread, involving GH.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Trust me, sometimes, I scare myself.

- - - - - - -

So... I really had no idea where I would run into Luna. It wasn't as though a map had been downloaded along with Japanese. Which was good-I don't think I could have survived if I couldn't understand a damn thing anyone said.

Well, I could have... I'd have just most likely been put in a psych ward, and boy, wouldn't that be a neat twist on the Sailorverse?

Might make a good fic, actually...

"Usagi! Usagi, hey!"

I turned, and smiled as Naru (or Molly... I dunno, Molly always seemed to fit her better than Naru) ran up to me with a bright smile of her own. No, she didn't have a Boston accent... Though I really need to try and get her to talk like that. It would be hilarious.

"So, running late again?" She asked.

"Nah, I'm just, you know, taking it easy," I said easily. "No need to rush through life."

Naru blinked. I just kept smiling. She blinked again, and I felt a bead of sweat appear on the back of my head in nervousness.

"Ahhh..."

"Are you... Feeling okay, Usagi?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah! I just, um... Stayed up too late playing video games again! Ya know, that's me, that's Usagi..."

Naru blinked again. I scowled.

"What?"

"Nothing... Just... Different," Naru said slowly. She smiled and giggled. I huffed indignantly.

"What? I can't have a bit of a change when I feel like it? I mean, I am a multi-faceted person! Like a diamond! Light just bounces all around inside me! Cause I'm so..." I shrugged and smiled brightly.

"Pointy!"

Naru blinked, and giggled again. "Hahahaha! Usagi... Just what is up with you?"

"Oh, nothing," I sighed. I shrugged. "I guess I just feel weird today. I don't know why!"

"Oh well, c'mon! We're going to be late!" Naru said, and took off down the street. I followed, slowly, hoping not to miss where "I" met Luna.

Ah, a cat yowling... Must be the place.

"Hey! You little bastards!" I shouted at the three boys tormenting the cat. Now that got their attention, all of them staring at me in shock. I smirked back.

"Beat it! Leave that cat alone! You shouldn't mess with a pussy at your age!"

I know, I know, terrible pun... And they didn't get it, since it only works in English, but they ran off all the same. I walked up to Luna with a bright smile, and she looked up with wide eyes.

In my normal body, I'm deathly allergic to cats... And hamsters... Anything with fur that isn't a dog, actually. And cats seem to hate me. Don't ask me. The point was, even without the allergy to reinforce the hate, it was still there. So I couldn't help the vicious little smile on my face as I regarded Luna.

"Don't worry... You'll be fine now," I said, grin widening. The cat blinked, and nearly bolted as I slowly reached down.

"Oh relax, I wouldn't do anything to you," I reassured the cat. My creepy grin was nevertheless still weirding Luna out. Good, good... Suffer, cat, suffer, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I got a grip on the bandage on her head, and yanked it up.

"YEOWL!" The cat yelped, and leaped back. I snorted.

"Oh c'mon! Don't be such a big baby! It's better to get the pain over with quickly! I mean, what kind of a cat are you? That's just lame! You're a predator, act the part!" I admonished. Luna looked extremely affronted, before scampering off.

"Oh yeah, fine, don't even thank me, or anything," I called after. "Making me look like some crazy girl, yelling after a cat..." I trailed off and shrugged.

"Talking to myself... Or Usagi in this case," I muttered, turning to head for school.

"So Talon, how are you? Would you like to stuff my big mouth with your cock?" I asked "myself" in Usagi's voice. I snickered. I couldn't help it. It was better than a voice emulator.

"Sure I would! I'd also like to sodomize genetics and common sense with my pink-haired demon child from the future! Oh, and turn the Senshi into my sex slaves! Bow before the Queen, bitches, mwahahahahahahahaha!"

"Uhhh... Usagi?"

I froze. I slowly, slowly turned my head around. Naru was standing there, looking completely weirded out. I coughed, and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly.

"Ah... Yes, Naru?"

"... Who are you talking to?" She asked slowly, as though speaking to a dangerous psychopath with a machete. I coughed, and then looked at my watch.

"Oh crap... We're late! Go go go!" I shouted, turning and running for the school.

- - - - - - - - -

 

[Luthorne]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

Stupid Macguffin, WORK DAMN YOU!

 

[fallacies]

<Luna> Okay, I'm not sure why your transformation didn't work, but I guess I'll have to give you special training. *activates communicator* Hello? Juiz? Put me in contact with one of our reincarnated Military Trainers ... what do you mean he's a goldfish!?

<Usagi> Eh?

<Luna> Er ... alright. Usagi. This is your new mission. You have to find a female teacher by the name of Hinako at Furinkan High School in Nerima.

<Usagi> This Hinako person ... She's going to be my trainer?

<Luna> No, her goldfish will be.

 

[Luthorne]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

Stupid Macguffin, WORK DAMN YOU!

Well, replacing Usagi Tsukino's soul with that of an ordinary human's is about on par with replacing Son Goku's body with that of an ordinary human's. With Vegeta on the way.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

Stupid Macguffin, WORK DAMN YOU!

Well, replacing Usagi Tsukino's soul with that of an ordinary human's is about on par with replacing Son Goku's body with that of an ordinary human's. With Vegeta on the way.

Well... For plot purposes, I suppose the author could just wing it... Maybe going "Pretty please" to her soul crystal, I dunno.

 

[fallacies]

Guerilla training under Goldfish-sensei would actually be more easily attainable than a starseed.

 

[David Alan Abramczyk]

This almost screams "COMMUNITY FIC!" to me. Mind if I weigh in?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

This almost screams "COMMUNITY FIC!" to me. Mind if I weigh in?

Not at all! Hell, each author involved could write from the perspective of being one of the other Senshi. As for the star seeds... Eh, we can just handwave it somehow...

 

[Luthorne]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

Stupid Macguffin, WORK DAMN YOU!

Well, replacing Usagi Tsukino's soul with that of an ordinary human's is about on par with replacing Son Goku's body with that of an ordinary human's. With Vegeta on the way.

Well... For plot purposes, I suppose the author could just wing it... Maybe going "Pretty please" to her soul crystal, I dunno.

So Usagi's soul is still inside there with you? Possibly listening to you ask to suck dick in her voice? And you view this as a positive thing?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

If nothing else, I suppose the expression on your face when you realize you can't transform might be amusing. :mellow:

Stupid Macguffin, WORK DAMN YOU!

Well, replacing Usagi Tsukino's soul with that of an ordinary human's is about on par with replacing Son Goku's body with that of an ordinary human's. With Vegeta on the way.

Well... For plot purposes, I suppose the author could just wing it... Maybe going "Pretty please" to her soul crystal, I dunno.

So Usagi's soul is still inside there with you? Possibly listening to you ask to suck dick in her voice? And you view this as a positive thing?

Yeah... She'll probably kill me horribly later. But then again... I wouldn't know that, so let the good times roll until then, yay!

 

[fallacies]

"My name is Oscar Fox Mizuno. This morning, when I woke up, I was in a different room, looking at a blue-haired girl in the mirror. I instantly recognized her. She was Ami Mizuno ..."

"... me, before my sex change procedure fifteen years ago. I hated having a weak feminine-looking body, and so I made sure to make myself look like a strong American otaku and gain lots of weight."

"WHERE THE HELL DID ALL OF MY FAT GO?"

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

"So, here it is... You're able to turn into Sailor Moon, the champion of justice of the moon, and-"

"Wait, wait, wait... This is a transforming magic pen?"

"Uh... Yes?"

"Can I write with it?"

"... No."

"But... You said it was a pen."

Luna scowled. "You can't write with it!"

"So it's not a pen?" I glowered. "Then why do you call it a pen?! That's just dumb!"

"Would you just hurry up and turn into Sailor Moon already?!" The irritated cat demanded. I sighed.

"Oh, fine... Mumble grumble... MOON PRISM POWERRR!"

A surge of energy... A brief moment of nudity... And there I stood, Sailor Moon.

I blinked at myself in the mirror.

"... Did my boobs just get bigger?" I asked.

Luna's face slammed into the floor. I coughed.

"I'm just asking! Geez!"

 

[drakensis]

Amusingly, I believe that they really are pens as well. Although Luna being appalled at them being used for such mundane purposes would make sense. (Artemis was allegedly miffed when Minako used hers to cheat at school).

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Amusingly, I believe that they really are pens as well. Although Luna being appalled at them being used for such mundane purposes would make sense. (Artemis was allegedly miffed when Minako used hers to cheat at school).

Sorry, been a while since I watched the anime... Or read the manga, or... Anything. I'm catching up with the Abridged series...

 

[Crusader]

The self-inserted author could always try scavenging some working gadgets from the ruins of the Deathbusters headquarters. Maybe Eudial had a spare automobile stashed in a Witches 5 safe house somewhere along with a spare heart crystal extraction rifle and flamethrower.

Or possibly have Lara Croft becoming the self-inserted's mentor.

In which season is this SI fic set?

Been a while since I watched the anime adaption to be honest but the season I seem to favour the most was when the Deathbusters were the main bad guys. I think they made the Dead Moon Circus and Galaxia and her fellow renegade senshi seem pale in comparison even though.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Well, all of that is up to the author in question, though starting at the first season would work just fine.

 

[Crusader]

Well, all of that is up to the author in question, though starting at the first season would work just fine.

Having Artemis leak the location of Queen Beryl's Dark Kingdom base in the Arctic to US intelligence and having them arrange a covert military operation, could be strategy worth considering if the SI is a character with no magical powers, forcig the SI to rely on skills and wit.

 

[Deleted member 5249]

Been a while since I watched the anime adaption to be honest but the season I seem to favour the most was when the Deathbusters were the main bad guys. I think they made the Dead Moon Circus and Galaxia and her fellow renegade senshi seem pale in comparison even though.

Galaxia made Pharoah 90 and Nehellenia minor annoyance in the anime and manga. She broke the Garnet Rod and Silence Glaive with ease in the anime. In the manga was weaker than Usagi who she claimed was the strongest in the Galaxy.

Though I do wonder why the SI doesn't do the simple thing like using the Disguise Pen to change into their regular form. Minako and Usagi both used their items to change into men.

If you use anime the Ginzuishou kills the user everytime its used. Usagi had three one-time deux ex machina (two if you exclude the movies( to revive her. So the SI will have to deal with the fact that they will probably die in the name of saving the earth.

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Been a while since I watched the anime adaption to be honest but the season I seem to favour the most was when the Deathbusters were the main bad guys. I think they made the Dead Moon Circus and Galaxia and her fellow renegade senshi seem pale in comparison even though.

Galaxia made Pharoah 90 and Nehellenia minor annoyance in the anime and manga. She broke the Garnet Rod and Silence Glaive with ease in the anime. In the manga was weaker than Usagi who she claimed was the strongest in the Galaxy.

Though I do wonder why the SI doesn't do the simple thing like using the Disguise Pen to change into their regular form. Minako and Usagi both used their items to change into men.

If you use anime the Ginzuishou kills the user everytime its used. Usagi had three one-time deux ex machina (two if you exclude the movies( to revive her. So the SI will have to deal with the fact that they will probably die in the name of saving the earth.

All good points, SeiyaUsagi. Truth be told, this idea is more of a crack idea just for fun, at least how I conceived it.

 

[Deleted member 5249]

I know I know. I'm sorry. :sweat2:

Its just Ginzuishou being used to fix every little thing it just bothers me a bit along with most SM fanon. <_<

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

I know I know. I'm sorry. :sweat2:

Its just Ginzuishou being used to fix every little thing it just bothers me a bit along with most SM fanon. <_<

Nah, it's okay Seiya. You do need to have serious considerations even in a crack fic.

 

[Crusader]

Galaxia made Pharoah 90 and Nehellenia minor annoyance in the anime and manga. She broke the Garnet Rod and Silence Glaive with ease in the anime. In the manga was weaker than Usagi who she claimed was the strongest in the Galaxy.

Though I do wonder why the SI doesn't do the simple thing like using the Disguise Pen to change into their regular form. Minako and Usagi both used their items to change into men.

If you use anime the Ginzuishou kills the user everytime its used. Usagi had three one-time deux ex machina (two if you exclude the movies( to revive her. So the SI will have to deal with the fact that they will probably die in the name of saving the earth.

Well, while it is true as you've pointed out that Galaxia is umatched when it comes to raw power compared to the other head honchos before her, the Deathbusters appealed more to me when it came to the gallery of rogues. Sailor Galaxia may have been one of the most powerful and experienced Senshi that went renegade, but her underlings of fellow turncoat Senshi seemed lamer to me than the enforcers of the other evil groups.

After the first season in the anime I always wondered what happened to Usagi's pen since it was handy.

It would make an interesting dilemma if the SI's is willing or very reluctant to lay his/her life on the line here.

Personally I'd rather launch a nuclear missile at Fiore and his asteroid than act out a magical girl version of Armageddon.