Now, dear reader, I'm usually not prone to freaking out over the unusual. I'm usually pretty calm, cool, and collected. I was on 4chan for a year, that's enough to desensitize a person immensely. And I'm friends with Ero-Sennin, which also helps to desensitize someone.
But, some things are simply too unusual to greet with a cheery wave.
Such as waking up with boobs.
And a vagina.
And in Japan.
Though I am proud to say my reaction didn't really get out of hand until "my" mother came into "my" room and told me this:
"Usagi, get up for school right now! You're going to be late!"
I slowly turned my head to stare at her, eyes wide, mouth slowly opening...
"..."
"Usagi? Usagi! Did you hear what I said?" She demanded.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
My "mother" was blown back, and I scooted into a corner trembling.
I blinked. A series of rather conflicting memories popped into my head... Mostly of eating, sleeping, squealing over boys, jewelry, and food, and manga from the 1990s.
"Yes Mom... Sorry," I said quietly. She blinked, staring at me as though I was completely insane.
"Usagi?! What the hell was that?!"
"Um... I was dreaming that... I couldn't eat anymore, and a giant... Cake was trying to eat me," I squeaked.
She stared at me for a while, before sighing and turning to leave, shaking her head. My memories on Usagi's side pressed me to scowl and stick my tongue out at her back. I couldn't really argue, as I began to think frantically.
Okay, calm down, this is NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE, NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE...
I kept thinking that through breakfast, while "my" annoying little brother teased me about "my" weight. I briefly wondered if this was the "actual" Sailor Moon universe, or merely some twisted variation on the theme. Like an Abridged Universe.
That would be... Creepy, actually. Actually, this whole thing was creepy. I have to say, the fact that I wasn't curled up into a ball and sucking on my thumb in terror was a pretty good indication of my character, right?
... Oh fuck. I have to give birth to Chibi-Moon. Or maybe I don't. I mean, c'mon, "I" had blonde hair, Mamoru had black. How the hell did that work?
Oh fuck! I would have to have sex with Mamoru Chiba. Memories aside, I was pretty happy that my body responded favorably to a fantasy I quickly came up with about Rei and Ami making out.
Actually, a little too well.
This might cause some trouble.
Well... Nothing for it. I guess I have to fulfill my destiny. Which means... Urrrggghhh!
... On the other hand... Maybe destiny could be flexible. Hmmm... I'd have to see. At most, I could at least be a smartass and mess with people's heads.
In the meantime, I suppose I had better go rescue Luna. Hmmm... Maybe I should get some catnip, see what that does...
- - - - - - - -
Yeah. I'm pretty twisted. But hey, it just hit me. So, anyone who wants to, take it up. Or write me as Sailor Moon-That might be awesome to see who's take on me is funnier.
But, some things are simply too unusual to greet with a cheery wave.
Such as waking up with boobs.
And a vagina.
And in Japan.
Though I am proud to say my reaction didn't really get out of hand until "my" mother came into "my" room and told me this:
"Usagi, get up for school right now! You're going to be late!"
I slowly turned my head to stare at her, eyes wide, mouth slowly opening...
"..."
"Usagi? Usagi! Did you hear what I said?" She demanded.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
My "mother" was blown back, and I scooted into a corner trembling.
I blinked. A series of rather conflicting memories popped into my head... Mostly of eating, sleeping, squealing over boys, jewelry, and food, and manga from the 1990s.
"Yes Mom... Sorry," I said quietly. She blinked, staring at me as though I was completely insane.
"Usagi?! What the hell was that?!"
"Um... I was dreaming that... I couldn't eat anymore, and a giant... Cake was trying to eat me," I squeaked.
She stared at me for a while, before sighing and turning to leave, shaking her head. My memories on Usagi's side pressed me to scowl and stick my tongue out at her back. I couldn't really argue, as I began to think frantically.
Okay, calm down, this is NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE, NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE...
I kept thinking that through breakfast, while "my" annoying little brother teased me about "my" weight. I briefly wondered if this was the "actual" Sailor Moon universe, or merely some twisted variation on the theme. Like an Abridged Universe.
That would be... Creepy, actually. Actually, this whole thing was creepy. I have to say, the fact that I wasn't curled up into a ball and sucking on my thumb in terror was a pretty good indication of my character, right?
... Oh fuck. I have to give birth to Chibi-Moon. Or maybe I don't. I mean, c'mon, "I" had blonde hair, Mamoru had black. How the hell did that work?
Oh fuck! I would have to have sex with Mamoru Chiba. Memories aside, I was pretty happy that my body responded favorably to a fantasy I quickly came up with about Rei and Ami making out.
Actually, a little too well.
This might cause some trouble.
Well... Nothing for it. I guess I have to fulfill my destiny. Which means... Urrrggghhh!
... On the other hand... Maybe destiny could be flexible. Hmmm... I'd have to see. At most, I could at least be a smartass and mess with people's heads.
In the meantime, I suppose I had better go rescue Luna. Hmmm... Maybe I should get some catnip, see what that does...
- - - - - - - -
Yeah. I'm pretty twisted. But hey, it just hit me. So, anyone who wants to, take it up. Or write me as Sailor Moon-That might be awesome to see who's take on me is funnier.