Writing Proficiency: 16/20 Above average on the technical side of things, but the dialogue was somehow off. Even more than it should be for drunk people. Actually, it was fine for the drunk people. Hm.
Theme: 15/20 Keeping secrets while drunk is hard, fair enough. But what exactly are they doing to keep it?
Source: 13/20 Ah, butchering characters for the sake of humor never gets old. Next time just make sure that one character's girlfriend extra-canon girlfriend doesn't share the name of his game's token furry.
Story: 8/20 This really, really needs a better introduction, I had no idea what was going on in half the snippets, and it just wasn't funny.
Other: 6/20 Meh. You DID surprise a laugh out of me with the end of whatever whatever the movie scene was.
Total: 58