Evangelion Shinji and Warhammer40k

what makes a better story is all i really care about.
because after all the shear awesome that has come before in the story it would be a crying shame for shinji to 'win' to easly :D :lol:
 

Sdebeli

Well-Known Member
bluepencil said:
Do you all really want all-out blood-on-the-lips war? It is still possible to avoid it at this point (and saving it for the truly last chapter). That's because once the shooting starts, it would escalate to nukes really really quickly.

There are two equally valid story branches here on hand. I'm worried if I'm sending the theme that 'mortals suck, get a god to make all your decisions for you' if they're consistently portrayed as more interesting in furthering grudges than getting their shit together. It's true that wars have begun with FAR less provocation though.
No, not really, but it seems to be the direction this thing is going.
I won't even bother to argue with your other point, it's completely correct.
And the God thing? Isn't that what people have been doing for the past, oh, I don't know... several thousand years? Though most of it can be brought down to political power plays and manipulations, that is pretty much that.
Though, such issues aside, this is a different time and age, so while history bears a great weight, so do the present issues.
If you go with the war path, I don't see this ending happily at all (though, how one would constitute a happy ending in this screwed up world is up for discussion... aside for the Harem Route :p)
With the other one, there's a struggle, which again, I have no idea how will end.
 
Personally, I think you should go the war route; granted I don't know much about 40k, but right now Earth is still divided, despite the Angels. If you're going to continue to try and parallel 40k canon, then a war between various factions before final unifications sounds pretty on track, regardless of the unfortunate implications with respect to theme.
 

FourthWall

Well-Known Member
What's the alternative, then? Shinji and friends going on the lam until Asuka comes back and goes MP Eva on everything?
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
Aha, woops. I posted the thing and only now realized that it's actually incomplete. Here is how that segment ends.





Misato patted his head like a puppy. "You know your safety's the most important
thing to me, right? We can have anybody collect your stuff."

"Sorry. It shouldn't take long."

Concern warred in Misato's mind. Nothing was worth her children's lives, surely not
some sentimental junk, but there was that part of her that had discovered what it
might be like to be a mother. His well-being also included being happy in his own
choices. People needed to be free to make what measures they needed live with
themselves in a world so full of unhappiness.

She could exercise her control, and he'd obey. The harder option, the less logical
one, was the same one faced by every mother through time: to let go and let her
son risk himself for his own place in world.

=][=

That place he wanted to go was Katsuragi's Apartment, her place. It was Rei who,
in an uncommonly verbose mood, approached her a few days ago while she was
watching the innards of the geofront. "Do not worry." the half-human girl had said.
"He will go away, but he will always return to you. This is his home. Our home." Rei
bowed slightly. "-You- are home."

"I'm a soldier." Misato replied. "I don't get it. I'm just doing what I can, and it's still
so little."

"That which you do is more than what anyone else can give us. Ikari-kun, Sohryu,
and I, we can not run away. You are she who Will Not run away."

=][=


Misato wanted to hug them all, even Ritsuko who who surely struggle and complain
about it being undignified. "Fine." she said, and both Maya and Ritsuko shot her
looks that it was probably the wrong decision. It was a stupid risk for a military
officer. They nodded, respecting the power of her choices anyway.

"Thank you." Shinji said with a smile. Misato grinned back. She had delayed his
growing up for just that little bit longer.

=][=
 
would like to apologize for trolling a few weeks ago. won't happen again. Why would the PRC even attack NERV? what would be the point?
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
They won't go to war with NERV. That would be like Canada declaring war on Coca-Cola. They can however, try to hold Japan accountable.

On an unrelated note: I updated LOVEHAMMER.
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
Didn't I link to it here before? Ah, well.

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6353239/1/Lovehammer_The_Scattering_of_Serenity' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6353239/1/Love...ing_of_Serenity</a>
 

Elvarein

Well-Known Member
01101001 00100000 01100011 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101

Yeah, I read this part on space battles. The part about the Black Company is done very very well given what I remember of your other posts on space battles on who the leader of First Company is... Or have you changed it?

As for your posts on S&Warhammer40k <TM> its seems to be a little bit more filler and the ending of the chapter. It is amusing as always especially the part where they discussed who would benefit most from Yang's death but to be honest, I am more waiting for the inscrutable plans that Yang had set up to be put into motion with his death.

I think we will soon see a HAIL SHINJI!!!!!! situation ;p

P.S. What happened to the figurines, I wonder, it looks like it would be an appropriate juncture for another discussion between them and Shinji ^_^
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
Tumbling down part 2

=][=


Jason Ostender knew the war had begun when the UN NAVY Cruiser, PHILEMON,
exploded less than a kilometer off to the left of his ship. He was the captain of
the modified tanker HELIOS and was a NERV employee. The ship had set out from
San Francisco carrying a secret cargo from NERV Site 6, Boston. As the package
had to be transported by rail all the way across the North American continent, he
hadn't expected it to remain secret for long. He had however, been expecting an
attack from the Angels.

Flashing lights reflected off the ocean surface, briefly competing with the stars
themselves. Point defenses churned away, and he had to shout even inside his own
ship. Six brightly glowing streak passed by and this time a Destroyer was doomed.
"What's the hell's going on?!" he yelled at his radar operator as he entered the
bridge.

"Missile attack! We've got ships due north, but the missiles look like they're coming
from behind us!"

The HELIOS was escorted by six destroyers and two Cruisers. They were all that
could be spared from the tensions in the Far East. Learning from the debacle with
the transport of Evangelion Unit 02, speed was deemed a priority over just the
sheer number of ships as a deterrent. Unfortunately, this meant that the escort
vessels would have to stick close by.

Submarine-launched antiship missiles swooped in, and through the violent storm of
air-defense guns and antimissile missiles, to slam against the other UN Cruiser, the
OTTAWA. The ship wallowed in its new train of thick black smoke.

Both cruisers were on either side of the HELIOS, and the captain was now just
keenly aware of exposed they were. He grit his teeth. 'No... they have to be after
what we've got in the hold.'
Staying near the warships might slightly offer some
protection, since whoever's out there might not want to risk sinking the transport.

Then he heard gunshots coming from the door just outside the bridge. Charlie
Austin, one of the old hands from before NERV bought out the transport company,
walked in carrying a gun.

"Sorry to bother you, cap'n, but we better slow down and stay out of this fight."
Behind arrived several soldiers, whose faces were obscured by goggles and
balaclavas. A warning shot at the radio operator held back resistance. "I don't
want to kill anyone here, 'less I have to."

Ostender grimaced as he was forced to his knees and handcuffed. "What's going
on? Who are you working for?"

"Someone who wants a miracle to happen, cap'n." was the heavy reply. "Someone
who doesn't want this world to go all to hell because of people who have too much
power and not enough sense."

Deep in the hold, the rest of the boarding party checked the pricess cargo. It was
a large metal box, emblazoned with the red NERV logo. In white below it was "S2".
In the distance, in the center of the enemy flotilla, was a ship almost the exact
duplicate of the HELIOS.

=][=


"Sorry, miss- but orders are orders. Tokyo-3's under total lockdown. Nobody goes in
or out." said the UNIG soldier at the pass.

"This is an abue of power!" Rika Izuna screeched from her news van. "The public
has he right to evacuate from danger zones! This is still Japanese soil, you know!"

Her faithful assistant sighed. "If we didn't try and hunt down Horaki, we'd have left
with the rest of the team."

"Katsuragi's not going to get away with this!" the reporter yelled out with her head
out the window.

Katsuragi had given twelve hours for Tokyo-3 to empty itself of noncombatants.
Then at noon, heavy physical barriers went up over the north and east passes.
Metal shutters lowered over the mountain tunnels. The only way in was through
the south, and there overlooking Cerberus Base lines of JSSDF tanks straddled the
highway. The entrance to Tokyo-3 itself was blocked by the UNIG's fewer but
stronger tanks. They faced outwards.

The three generals who had led the defense against Sachiel, the first ever Angel to
directly menace Japan, walked across the empty roads to meet Col. Nasuno, who
was still in charge of the city's defenses. Beside him was Captain Avrikupolous,
unarmed and helmet-less, though still very dangerous in full Tactical Dreadnought
armor.

General Akira, youngest of the three, squinted at the soldiers beyond. Some of the
tanks still had the red star of the China, forces brought in some months ago with
Ikari's return and then trickling in with the UN's multinational detachments. He
nodded to Nasuno. "What do you think you're doing? It's fine if you don't want
to leave, but you're edging too close to treason here."

"I don't like it either, but those are the orders. You're going to have to find someone
who can countermand them."

"From Katsuragi?" He sucked his lips in. That would have to be the UN Defense
Council. Everyone was just waiting for the situation to explode.

Unfortunately, if the situation DID explode, for NERV to remain neutral would
thereafter see them utterly dominating the world stage. General Akira looked back
to the sea horizon. China wouldn't survive all-out war, what with their nuclear
arsenals just for second-strike purposes; at most a hundred, with about thirty in
submarine-launched ballistic missiles.

Unfortunately, the Eva had already demonstrated the capability to intercept
hypersonic bombardment both globally and simultaneously.

The best that could be hoped for was NERV and its Evas to stay out of it.

=][=


(snip Misato trolling everybody)


=][=

The streets were deserted. Shinji was a little creeped out, it was too similar to his
dream. While he knew that the people were but a prefecture or two away, he was
strangely stuck with nostalgia for the innocent times of but a few months previous.

There was no need to sneak around. An APC brought him over to the apartment
complex, and the guards had to remain outside. Power-armored people just
wouldn't fit through the stairwells. "I have to do this by myself." said the boy. "This
shouldn't take too long."

This little apartment. Shinji reached up to rub at his eyes. It was the one place he
felt unlike the tool of some abstract destiny or old conspiracies. That home, with
Asuka complaining, Misato laughing, and Rei or Maya dropping in now and then to
add a sense of enduring comfort, and Ritsuko trolling them all behind the scenes;
just one year and those were the memories he wanted to keep above all else. While
younger he took comfort in his isolation with the four personalities in his head.

They weren't enough anymore. He'd cast aside human concerns and conventional
morality for power and now ached for the warmth of mundane living.

'I don't want to be alone again.' He had friends growing up at Sendai, but only here
and with them did it blossom into magic. He paused in front his own room, with
Misato's semi-sarcastic scrawl 'Shinji's Lovely Suite' on a hanging board.

In his room, Shinji Ikari found a plain white envelope on his bed. Inside was a
typed letter from the closest he had for a mentor.

"The old order changeth, giving place to the new
And God fulfills himself in many ways
Lest one good custom corrupt the world

If you are reading this, then I have departed well ahead of your own plans. This
makes things more difficult for you, and I apologize. But overawing the world to
keep order will not work. In the time of the great Khan, a virgin with a bag of gold
may ride from one end of his lands to the other, and both will be unmolested. At his
death both had to travel again under heavy guard.

Before you I walked the path of blood, and it's tiring work without any guarantee
that the Work will last. Yet there are things in this world that need to be fought,
and concepts that must be removed from the psyche through force if necessary. I
am writing this with a certain young woman nearby- and hers has been a most -
enlightening- tale, young Ikari.

It's heartwarming that you did think of me as your ally. The greatest threat to
peace in this world is now -you-, and for this Shinji Ikari must die.

I know what it is that you fear. You can't run from it anymore. I am forcing your
hand, my little Emperor. It is not power that will let you speak for everyone. It is
not violence that is the language all can understand.

All is prepared. Show Katsuragi that you've learned my lessons well.

-Yang"


"This shouldn't have happened." the boy whispered. "Yang-sensei, this is unfair."
Inwardly he felt a hot flash of guilt, unable to prevent himself from thinking, better
him than Misato.

Just the thought of it brought his hackles up. He couldn't even being to imagine the
tortures he'd inflict on whoever would dare to do that. Yang was right. He didn't
have a voice, but Shinji was terrified of what it would take to gain it.

On his study table, four figurines were knocked over from all the bustle of the
past battles. Shinji looked under the bed and took out a prepared suitcase. There
was nothing that he owned that was really all that valuable. He turned back to the
figurines. The Farseer. The Warboss. The Sorcerer. The Captain. Just plastic and
paint.

And silent now.

He smiled slightly and bowed before picking them up. 'Thank you.'

There was a knock on the door. Shinji put the figurines in his pocket and opened
the screen to his room.

"Oh, Ayanami."

Rei stood there in her school uniform. Hadn't Maya drag the girl off shopping for a
new wardrobe several times already? Well, whatever she was comfortable in. Shinji
owed Rei far too much to consider anything that would make her even the slightest
bit unhappy.

Rei stepped into the room and nose to nose with him. "Become one with me." said
the girl.

"Ah... this is not a good time." he said placatingly. "I'm sorry. How about-"

Rei grabbed both sides of his head and stuck her tongue down his throat. After a
few moments, Shinji gave in. Rei always cared. She just had a tendency to go
overboard in trying to remove his distress.

She bit his tongue. "Ow!"

Rei's eyes were glowing red. "The light of your soul calls to me. Let me eat its
shine."

Shinji blinked. He pulled away. "Wait... Raka? Didn't we speak about how -creepy-
this is?!"

"You will be mine again."

Shinji narrowed his eyes. He stared at her for quite a while.

"Lillith."

"Hello, meatling."

The boy put his hand on her left butt cheek. "Ooh!" she squealed in delight. Then
he put his other hand on her right shoulder and in one quick motion turned her
around. A shove put her out the door, then Shinji kicked her in the back to send
her overturning the dining table.

Shinji forcefully slammed the the flimsy screen door shut and put his back against
it. "OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP." he mumbled while sweating in panic.

=][=

snip Germany scene

=][=

Lillith slowly got up, relishing the puny fires of pain from mortal nerve endings. Her
awareness, sentience even, was limited to the mortal mind She occupied. The
emotion of disdain was Hers.

"There isn't even a lock for this thing." she said loudly. "Did you really think this
would stop me?"

Beyond the door was a strange grinding noise.

Lillith punched at the door, and to Her surprise, Her fist was repulsed by an
equal opposing force. Briefly, a large two-headed eagle flashed on the blank
white pasteboard screen.

Puzzled, She tried again. This time, a strange eight-pointed star absorbed the
blow.

Once more, and a sylized eye flashed into being. It closed, apparently stung.

Lillith was starting to experience an emotion called mild annoyance. She held
her fist high and punched with all the force she could muster. The shock blew
away all furniture behind her.

A winking skull with a jagged overlarge jaw was there. Its jaw moved up and
down, as if laughing. Behind the door, the noise had ceased.

With a flash of anger, Lillith kicked the door down. The screen was simply
disintegrated. She poked her head into the room to see... not her target. There
was a jagged hole on the side of Shinji's room.

With his mini-chainsaw, Shinji had cut his way into Misato's room, and then
to the veranda. He had one foot over the railing already. The boy took a deep
breath and leapt off. He figured he had about three seconds before splattering
himself all over the ground.

His heart was pounding in panic, but there was no fear about his immediate death.
"AYANAMIIIII!"

Rei Ayanami was undergoing an examination at NERV's secure medical facility.
She was wearing only a shapeless hospital gown. She quirked her head up, and
then her eye widened slightly.

She crouched slightly and leapt up. Through the floors, out the pyramid, smashing
through the primary armor layers of the geofront, out into the surface, and braking
suddenly, adjusting her AT-field that she wouldn't puree someone while catching
him in her arms. She had Shinji in a bridal carry.

He shivered. Instinctively he hugged her and whispered into her ear "I knew you'd
save me."

"Of course." she replied. Their trust was absolute.

"We have a problem."

"I see it."

Both looked up to see Lillith balancing herself on the railings of the apartment. With
a cocky grin, she threw herself off. The air around her shimmered.

Rei instantly zipped back, then up, then to the left, as Lillith flew with her right hand
outstretched like a claw. She tightened her grip on Shinji, and said. "Hold on
to me."

Recognizing the need for evasive manuevers, Shinji locked his fingers together
on Rei's hip and nodded.

Rei swooped down to skim the ground, weaving around trees. Lilllith followed, and
simply crashed into and through them. Abruptly Rei turned around, bent her knees
and pushed off a tree trunk. She zipped back the other way passing Lilllith. The
possessed girl looked back at her quarry, and then slammed into the mountainside.

"She is angry." Rei said calmly.

"MINE!" a voice resonated through the winds.

Rei bobbed left, then right, as nearly invisible cutting shards slashed through the
air leaving a temporary vaccuum. Her AT-field flared as one struck, and that was
enough to send her spinning. Rei closed her eyes and embraced Shinji tighter.

'I will protect.' she said to the universe. 'He will not fall.'

She felt Shinji's lips on her hers. Surprised, she stopped. Shinji extended his right
hand, and Rei's AT-field obeyed. They both veered left, then down. Far behind
them, a hilltop was clipped out.

"Oh this is bad." the boy whispered while looking behind her.

There, floating with arms akimbo, Lillith looked unscathed.

"It is my body." said Rei. Theoretically, even a being such as Lillith should be
limited by what the mortal frame could handle. She was only functionally immortal,
Rei was keenly familiar in how easily she may be killed. It was blessing.

"We need weapons." said Shinji, still with one arm around Rei. He showed no
shame about being in distress. "Um, I'm going to need both hands free."

"I will not let you fall." Rei replied grim finality.

Shinji chuckled lightly. "I love you, you know that?"

Rei couldn't help but to blush. "I..." Shinji adjusted his place to be able to put both
arms on either side of Rei's head. Their cheeks were now touching. Rei looked down
with a slight smile on her face. "I do."

Lillith's eyes flashed bright. One moment, three very strange teenagers were at a
standoff, and then there were two overlapping sonic booms.

Rei weaved left and right, as Lillith's thrown vaccuum blades slashed away at the
ground. Annoyed, She then held out both Her hands palm out, and hot line
scorched the trees passed by. Shinji, sweating with concntration, did the same,
but from his palms came small quick balls of blue flame.

Lillith twisted slightly and let the rapid-fire plasma balls pass by. Then from either
hand threw pulsing jets of charged particles. The blasts, humming through the air
with the crack of cannon fire, blew large craters where they struck. Out from the
dust cloud, came another burst in machinegun spread.

Boom! Boom! Vip! Vip! Vip! Vip! Boom! Vip! Vip! It was daytime, and the air duel
was only visible by the scars and explosions they left in their wake. Buildings
collapsed, streets were torn up, and the shockwaves left by the rapid turns gave
a sound like popping corn.

=][=

Inside the geofront, Misato was just being asked by the Prime Minister of Japan
"Where is Shinji Ikari?" It was quite suspicious that he wasn't around to be asked
if he was willingy paticipating in Misato's extortion.

All Angel alarms lit up. Overlapping DANGER signs replaced the conference screens.

"Major AT-field!" Makoto reported from the commander center. "It's... pattern blue,
... but there's two signals!"

"Where is it?"

"Downtown." He then worked over the feeds. "We don't have video, but there's
still sound pickup from the monitoring stations." Not realizing that the conference
linkup was still active, he piped in the data.

"I WANT HIM INSIDE ME!" loudly came Rei Ayanami's voice.

Misato's expression froze. "Just for once... this once." she said numbly. "Just let
that be exactly what it sounds like."

"Aheh. Sorry, Katsuragi-san. Ah!" Makoto found an intact monitoring station at an
outlying building. "It's... Ayanami. And Ikari? And Ayanami." The readouts shifted
to familiar values and alarms began to ring. "It's an Angel attack."

"Dammit."

--------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. Sorry if it sounds too abrupt, but way, way back in during Asuka Strikes Back, where Rei converses with Lillith, it was foreshadowed that, yes, Lillith is more or less aware but imprisoned. I've been hinting about 'The Great Mother Who Eats Her Young'. Please suggest something to delay or buildup this event some more while inside the chapter.


edit:
Ah. Fuyutsuki.
 

Sdebeli

Well-Known Member
There were a number of small errors.
One I distinctly remember is Rei's first appearance in the NERV hospital where you forgot to type 'gown' I think. (dressed in a hospital... and the sentence cuts off)
Otherwise... EPIC.

Delay, buildup. Hm. Maybe you could announce Lilith's approach a bit sooner? Extend the time Shinji spends in his apartment, but have him feel that something is off?

I forgot one thing though.
All hail God Emperor Shinji!
There... didn't really feel complete without it.
 

Mercsenary

Well-Known Member
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQRiLZukG0' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Listen</a>

Listen to that. While reading this. Really fits. First its kind of somber then it really picks up as... Oh Hai Lilith.

F'ING RUN!

And he still has his protectors.
 

Whiteagle

Well-Known Member
Mercsenary said:
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQRiLZukG0' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Listen</a>

Listen to that. While reading this. Really fits. First its kind of somber then it really picks up as... Oh Hai Lilith.

F'ING RUN!

And he still has his protectors.
Wait... so God Emperor!Shinji is a Time Lord... and Orky!Rei is his TARDIS?
 
Whiteagle said:
Mercsenary said:
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQRiLZukG0' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Listen</a>

Listen to that. While reading this. Really fits. First its kind of somber then it really picks up as... Oh Hai Lilith.

F'ING RUN!

And he still has his protectors.
Wait... so God Emperor!Shinji is a Time Lord... and Orky!Rei is his TARDIS?
Well, Rei does want him to ride her.
 

Mercsenary

Well-Known Member
Whiteagle said:
Mercsenary said:
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQRiLZukG0' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Listen</a>

Listen to that. While reading this. Really fits. First its kind of somber then it really picks up as... Oh Hai Lilith.

F'ING RUN!

And he still has his protectors.
Wait... so God Emperor!Shinji is a Time Lord... and Orky!Rei is his TARDIS?
No no. His Evangelion is the TARDIS. :D

Or maybe the whole of Nerv is.

And everyone is his companion.

:D
 

Sdebeli

Well-Known Member
Mercsenary said:
Whiteagle said:
Mercsenary said:
<a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQRiLZukG0' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Listen</a>

Listen to that. While reading this. Really fits. First its kind of somber then it really picks up as... Oh Hai Lilith.

F'ING RUN!

And he still has his protectors.
Wait... so God Emperor!Shinji is a Time Lord... and Orky!Rei is his TARDIS?
No no. His Evangelion is the TARDIS. :D

Or maybe the whole of Nerv is.

And everyone is his companion.

:D
Gods I would laugh so freaking hard. :lol:

Also, the music is Epic. No other words are needed to describe it.
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
Only revisions for now.

-------------

Tumbling Down part 2

o
o
o

(snip pacific scene)

o
o
o


"Sorry, miss- but orders are orders. Tokyo-3's under total lockdown. Nobody goes in
or out." said the UNIG soldier at the pass.
"This is an abuse of power!" Rika Izuna screeched from her news van. "The public
has he right to evacuate from danger zones! This is still Japanese soil, you know!"
Her faithful assistant sighed and began to reverse the van. "If we didn't try and hunt
down Horaki, we could have left with the rest of the team."
"Katsuragi's not going to get away with this!" the reporter yelled out with her head
out the window.
Katsuragi had given twelve hours for Tokyo-3 to empty itself of noncombatants.
Then at noon, heavy physical barriers went up over the north and east passes.
Metal shutters lowered over the mountain tunnels. The only way in was through
the south, and there overlooking Cerberus Base lines of JSSDF tanks straddled the
highway. The entrance to Tokyo-3 itself was blocked by the UNIG's fewer but
stronger tanks. They faced outwards.
General Kiyosato Akira was one of the three generals who led the defense against
Sachiel. While events had later marginalized the role of the JSSDF in defending
against the Angels, he had been one of those very instrumental in getting the
UN support base up and running. Now, even he was denied access to Hakone.
He walked across the empty roads to meet Col. Nasuno, who was still in charge of
the city's defenses. Beside him was Captain Avrikupolous, unarmed and helmet-less,
though still very dangerous in full Tactical Dreadnought armor. NNHIS representative
Tokita followed, clutching his coat against the strong valley wind.
General Akira at the soldiers beyond the pass. Some of the tanks still had the red star
of the China, forces brought in some months ago with Ikari's return and then trickling
in with the UN's multinational detachments. He nodded to Nasuno. "What do you think
you're doing? It's fine if you don't want to leave, but you're edging too close to
treason here."
"I don't like it either, but those are the orders. You're going to have to find someone
who can countermand them."

"From Katsuragi?" He sucked his lips in. That would have to be the UN Defense
Council. Everyone was just waiting for the situation to explode.
Unfortunately, if the situation DID explode, for NERV to remain neutral would
thereafter see them utterly dominating the world stage. General Akira looked back
to the sea horizon. China wouldn't survive all-out war, what with their nuclear
arsenals just for second-strike purposes; at most a hundred, with about thirty in
submarine-launched ballistic missiles. Their most of their site-based launchers were
used up against Sahaquiel.
Unfortunately, the Eva had already demonstrated the capability to intercept
hypersonic bombardment both globally and simultaneously.
"Politics doesn't really interest me, but why is that such a problem?" spoke Captain
Avrikupolous. "Even I know that no matter how many men the Chinese have, they
have no chance of getting across the Sea of Japan."
"Ahem, I don't think even Yang-sensei can pull off miracles when he's... dead." Said
Tokita.
"Not unless they're invited here." Col. Nasuno replied while rubbing his forehead. "If
they want to force the issue, it's either that or have a lot of people on both sides die."
Gen. Akira nodded. Unless the UN NAVY and all other forces there decided to immolate
most of the Korean peninsula facing east, the PLA had enough rockets and missiles
to kill the all world's naval tonnage twice over. It was a weird sort of MAD, since
both forces would have enough advance warning of a strike that they could launch
their own counterstrikes well in time. But even if the artillery divisions were
destroyed, there were still others in transit from the mainland. It would be much
harder to replace the ships, and not even the JSSDF's first line forces entertained
the notion they could successfully drive back a mass assault from the mainland.
The only reasonable safe platform would be the submarines, and the PLA/N's
submarines were less capable than the ones available to the UN and the JSSM. The
Sea of Japan however was so thick with subs and already well-monitored that it was
nearly impossible to hide. Again it would rely on whoever decides to strike first.
It was a dizzying complex sequence and that practically insured it was NOT Yang's
plan. Because they could see it, for all the difficult of predicting how it would go.
Tokita smirked. "It doesn't really matter, does it? No matter what they do, they
only have until Asuka comes back to... how's that go? Fuck their shit up."
No one had doubts about that. The Chinese would be treated to a red-haired
devil falling out of the sky, with barbarian rage and a valkyrie's spear, and verily
shit shall be fucked up.

=][=

All things considered, Kozo Fuyutsuki supposed, he could be a lot more
uncomfortable. He was being held in the JSSDF base at Atsugi. His cell was clean,
dry, and spacious. He was fed three times a day, and was allowed to keep a pot of
tea warm on an electric kettle. He had a small TV to keep from getting too bored
and could borrow newspapers from the guards. Monitoring was limited to cameras
and guards outside his cell. It was not how he'd expected to spend his retirement,
but bettter than he felt he deserved.
Thus when the screams and explosions began he was able to restrain himself from
looking for more than just a few minutes. With a tired groan he eventually went
over to the small window to his cell. He saw fires, and tanks and trucks overturned,
and in the distance something green and fast roared past.
He heard a soft click and turned around to see Gendo unlocking his cell. "I'm surprised
you actually even bothered."
"You were there at the beginning, sensei. It only seems proper you see how it ends."
Fuyutsuki shook his head and tugged at his gray hairs. "So you set her free, I trust?"

"Just as Yui wanted."
There was a loud crash from outside. "So the exit clause has been nullified. I don't
pity SEELE, but... she wanted you to become an ally of justice. This isn't revenge. This
isn't even punishment." He glanced at Gendo's scarred hands. ôIt was never this world
that took her from you.ö

=][=

o
o
o

(snip Misato rubbing the Japanese government the wrong way*)

o
o
o



=][=

The streets were deserted. Shinji was a little creeped out, it was too similar to his
dream. While he knew that the people were but a prefecture or two away, he was
strangely stuck with nostalgia for the innocent times of but a few months previous.
There was no need to sneak around. An APC brought him over to the apartment
complex, and the guards had to remain outside. Power-armored people just
wouldn't fit through the stairwells. "I have to do this by myself." said the boy. "This
shouldn't take too long."
This little apartment. Shinji reached up to rub at his eyes. It was the one place he
felt unlike the tool of some abstract destiny or old conspiracies. That home, with
Asuka complaining, Misato laughing, and Rei or Maya dropping in now and then to
add a sense of enduring comfort, and Ritsuko trolling them all behind the scenes;
just one year and those were the memories he wanted to keep above all else. While
younger he took comfort in his isolation with the four personalities in his head.
They weren't enough anymore. He'd cast aside human concerns and conventional
morality for power and now ached for the warmth of mundane living.
æThis city is dying.Æ He had friends growing up at Sendai, but only here and with them
did it blossom into magic. 'I don't want to be alone again.' He paused in front his own
room, with Misato's semi-sarcastic scrawl 'Shinji's Lovely Suite' on a hanging board.
In his room, Shinji Ikari found a plain white envelope on his bed. Inside was a
typed letter from the closest he had for a mentor.

"The old order changeth, giving place to the new
And God fulfills himself in many ways
Lest one good custom corrupt the world

If you are reading this, then I have departed well ahead of your own plans. This
makes things more difficult for you, and I apologize. But overawing the world to
keep order will not work. In the time of the great Khan, a virgin with a bag of gold
may ride from one end of his lands to the other, and both will be unmolested. At his
death both had to travel again under heavy guard.
Before you I walked the path of blood, and it's tiring work without any guarantee
that the Work will last. Yet there are things in this world that need to be fought,
and concepts that must be removed from the psyche through force if necessary. I
am writing this with a certain young woman nearby- and hers has been a most -
enlightening- tale, young Ikari.
It's heartwarming that you did think of me as your ally. The greatest threat to
peace in this world is now -you-, and for this Shinji Ikari must die.

I know what it is that you fear. You can't run from it anymore. I am forcing your
hand, little prince. It is not power that will let you speak for everyone. It is not
violence that is the language all can understand.
All is prepared. Show Katsuragi that you've learned my lessons well.
-Yang"

"This shouldn't have happened." the boy whispered. "Yang-sensei, this is unfair."
Inwardly he felt a hot flash of guilt, unable to prevent himself from thinking, better
him than Misato.
Just the thought of it brought his hackles up. He couldn't even being to imagine the
tortures he'd inflict on whoever would dare to do that. Yang was right. He didn't
have a voice, but Shinji was terrified of what it would take to gain it.
HeÆd have to break the pride of nations just to get them to cooperate. The boy sat
on the edge of his bed and sighed. He was still in junior high. HeÆd thought ten,
twenty, even a hundred years of what they needed - the EvaÆs power was too great
to be misused û but he wondered if ever heÆd get to go to College and learn and a
real useful trade.
On his study table, four figurines were knocked over from all the bustle of the
past battles. Shinji looked under the bed and took out a prepared suitcase. There
was nothing that he owned that was really all that valuable. He turned back to the
figurines. The Farseer. The Warboss. The Sorcerer. The Captain. Just plastic and
paint.
And silent now.
He smiled slightly and bowed before picking them up. 'Thank you.'
Everything heÆd done has always been with the help of others around him, he
remembered. He looked at his own fists. Alone, he was nothing. HumanityÆs
need to survive gave him power.

He fell back on his bed and laughed. æItÆs not so bad, isnÆt it? Living? We can do this.
ThereÆs still so much suffering in the world, but we canÆt stop now.Æ
There was a knock on the door. Shinji put the figurines in his pocket and opened
the screen doors to his room.
"Oh. Ayanami."
Rei stood there in her school uniform. Hadn't Maya drag the girl off shopping for a
new wardrobe several times already? Well, whatever she was comfortable in. Shinji
owed Rei far too much to consider anything that would make her even the slightest
bit unhappy.
Rei stepped into the room and nose to nose with him. "Become one with me." said
the girl.
"Ah... this is not a good time." he said placatingly. "I'm sorry. How about-"
Rei grabbed both sides of his head and stuck her tongue down his throat. After a
few moments, Shinji gave in. Rei always cared. She just had a tendency to go
overboard in trying to remove his distress.
She bit his tongue. "Ow!"
Rei's eyes were glowing red. "The light of your soul calls to me. Let me feed. Let me
complete myself."
Shinji blinked. He pulled away. He searched that ever-so-familiar face. "Wait... youÆre
not Rei.ö He grimaced. ôRaka? Didn't we speak about how -creepy- this is?!"
"You will be mine again."
Shinji narrowed his eyes. "Lillith."
She smiled widely. "Hello meatling."

=][=

The flying fortress STURMBRAND hurried to lift off even with gaping holes in the hull.
Inside, a hastily assembled force, the 2nd and 3rd UNIG Heavy Regiments clung to
the handrails which were ladders when under full thrust. Wilfred Ingram Wulfenbach
realized that the ænia tepellinÆ was less of an airship than designed as a spaceship that
just had to hug the gravity well. It was the power of the Eva that was providing lift.
There was no reason to assume that it couldnÆt be applied straight up.
He winced as the tepellin abruptly accelerated. The AT-field tugged at their very souls,
and through it everyone felt a resonance with the girl at the controls. Her fear and
desperation thickened the air. A sonic boom broke the sky over Gotha.
EUROSOC had replaced NATO and the WP organizations, as the threat of military action
grew ludicrous after Impact. It focused more on Western Europe and its tensions with
the frozen UK and France, while the New Council managed the resources uncovered
by warming Siberia. Germany by centrality and distance from the coasts ended up being
literally the heart of the new European society. That wealth and connectivity made it
NERV center for research and development, while the American bases were more
suited for production and testing. Wilfred realized heÆd grown up in an atmosphere of
comfort and optimism. Intuitively he recognized that Russia had more to worry about
with its border with China (and Yang there) while France had to look to Normandy.
It was so easy to volunteer to head to the East. Like him, he supposed, it felt like
paying back the years. Europe was just the second stage. Over there, they would
fight the Angels directly. They could exact revenge upon the aliens.
Suddenly, somewhere over Ukranian airspace, their ride was wrenched aside. Red
lights switched on and alarms rang out. ôAll hands secure, everyone hold on tight!ö
someone announced. ôPrepare for combat maneuvering!ö
ôC-combat?ö the soldier next to Wilfred muttered. ôAre we under attack?! Is ità
an Angel?!ö
Wilfred grit his teeth. The tepellin was just a big metal cylinder. It had nothing in the
way of offensive weapon, except perhapsà itself. He let out a delighted æhah!Æ as he
felt everything around him spin and then speed up. Of course. Sohryu and ramming
speed!
Outside, was a strange being formed of two glowing rings of light looped around each
other. This was the Angel (__).
ôShut up! Shut up! Shut up!ö Asuka was screaming. Her voice was coming from the
hull of the craft, vibrating in tune to her feelings. ôStop singing!ö
Cracking noises traveled through the metal, as batteries were forcefully discharged.
Inside her own Evangelion, Mayumi put her hands over her ears. ôWho are you who
are youà get out get out get out!ö
The front of the tepellin crackled with strange arcs of electricity. As Luftschloss
Sturmbrand pivoted and hurled itself like a dagger, (___) glowed even brighter,
its song now reaching everyone inside. Wilfred growled. He was being pitied.

(____) widened, and passed around the STURMBRAND. Then, softly, the tepellin
vanished, leaving just that eeried glowing circle. The Angel spun and shrank until
it was no more than handÆs width in diameter and spinning furiously.

=][=
Shinji knew that his father had Adam implanted into him. Cells and organs needed
no awareness of themselves. Even then, Adam was already a much less malevolent
entity.
As he stared into those pitiless red eyes, he remembered why most of the oldest
legends spoke of the titans devouring their children. Why the world was often made
from the corpse of a primordial god.
The boy put his hand on her left butt cheek. "Ooh!" she squealed in delight. Then
he put his other hand on her right shoulder and in one quick motion turned her
around. A shove put her out the door, then Shinji kicked her in the back to send
her overturning the dining table.
Shinji forcefully slammed the the flimsy screen door shut and put his back against
it. "OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP." he mumbled while sweating in panic. This
was not supposed to happen! SEELE, for all their murderous goals, wanted to avoid
-this- exact scenario. He'd been hoping his experience with a self-aware Lillith was
just a hypothermia-induced hallucination.
Dammit. HeÆd been sure Rei could hold her back. As Raka, as his consciousness
dominant in her body, he might have just served to erode the barriers. Or a
conduit?
Shit. Souls could be split. They could be combined. If that dream had any slice of
reality, he carried with him a slice of Lillith's soul too, over his own existence as a
Lillim creature.
Dimly he remembered that Gendo during their negotiations about how he'd eventually
have to face an enemy he can't beat with an Evangelion or any amount of trickery.

=][=

Pen-pen poked his head out of his freezer-cabin and briefly locked gazes with the
ancient one in Ayanami's shell. She was lying face up, head tilted back. The penguin
gave a nervous warble, slowly side-stepped over to the door, and grabbed at the air.
Oh. Right. He was too short for the door handle.
Hurriedly he grabbed for the umbrellas by the door, but clumsily knocked them all over.
He froze at the loud noise. The penguin slowly picked up one red umbrella, mindful of
Lillith's intent but bored attention. Quickly he pulled, and with his beak pried the door
open. He closed it back with a soft click, and then was running down the hallway,
flippers flapping, as fast as his webbed feet could carry him.
"Wark wak waaaaak!" he became screaming.
Lillith slowly got up, relishing the puny fires of pain from mortal nerve endings. Her
awareness, sapience even, was limited to the mortal mind She occupied. Ayanami
for all her reticence still felt the full gamut of human emotions. The pains, the
hungers. She was very hungry.
The had already devoured the child that was so afraid of turning into a monster.
Now, wearing that childÆs skin, she wanted to taste again that piece of soul that
was so different from her own. She flicked some wooden splinters from her skirt
and approached the door.
"A lock." she said loudly. "There is none."
Beyond the door was a strange grinding noise.
Lilllith understood love. All-consuming possessiveness was the default state of
such a being.
Lillith punched at the door, and to Her surprise, Her fist was repulsed by an
equal opposing force. Briefly, a large two-headed eagle flashed on the blank
white pasteboard screen.
Puzzled, She tried again. This time, a strange eight-pointed star absorbed the
blow. She understood what it meant to hate; to be denied. To be rejected. Her eyes
were misting up, but She didnÆt know why.
Others, like Adam, were an existence that was not Her but sought the same
things. She knew of the all-consuming desire to destroy. From the memories inside
this shell, she saw that it was much the same for little beings.
Once more she struck, and a sylized eye flashed into being. It closed, apparently
stung.
Because she understood hate, Lillith was starting to comprehend an emotion called
mild annoyance. She held her fist high and punched with all the force she could
muster. The rebounding shockwave blew away all furniture behind her.
A winking skull with a jagged overlarge jaw was there. Its jaw moved up and
down, as if laughing. Behind the door, the noise had ceased.
With a flash of anger, Lillith kicked the door down. The screen was simply
disintegrated. She poked her head into the room to see... not her target. There
was a jagged hole on the side of Shinji's room.
With his mini-chainsaw, Shinji had cut his way into Misato's room, and then
to the veranda. He had one foot over the railing already. If Nagisa had just decided
to go all-out and attack him directly, Shinji knew he had no ability to defend himself.
He was a pilot, squishy and mortal outside the Evangelion.
æDamn it! There must be a way so we can win!Æ Angels only needed to make contact
with Lillith to cause Third Impact. It was fine, as long as it was secured under
Terminal Dogma. The resources of a world united could support one Fortress City
near indefinitely. If only Yang had livedà it was too soon to open the Treasure Box!
The boy took a deep breath and leapt off. He figured he had about three seconds
before splattering himself all over the ground.
His heart was pounding in panic, but there was no fear about his immediate death. He
spread out his arms and legs, and shouted -
"AYANAMIIIII!"

Rei Ayanami was undergoing an examination at NERV's secure medical facility.
She was wearing only a shapeless hospital gown. She quirked her head up, and then
her eyes widened slightly.
She crouched slightly and leapt up. Through the floors, out the pyramid, smashing
through the primary armor layers of the geofront, out into the surface. Then braking
suddenly, adjusting her AT-field that she wouldn't puree someone while catching
him in her arms. She had Shinji in a bridal carry.
He shivered. Instinctively he hugged her and whispered into her ear "I knew you'd
save me."
"Of course." she replied. Their trust was absolute.

"We have a problem."

"I see it."

Both looked up to see Lillith balancing herself on the railings of the apartment. With
a cocky grin, she threw herself off. The air around her shimmered.

They both hovered in the air, their AT-fields thrumming. Evangelions had power to
spare, but for all that still weighed thousands of tons and had an extra control step
put in. This fine control was possible only for those who had nothing between them
and their Angelic abilities.

The Evangelions were bestial, beings of urges and emotions. Here there was just
the effort of will, and the world shifted around them. Shinji gulped. Their regions of
absolute territory overlapped. There would be no such thing as AT-field barriers
with these two.

æWe are different.Æ thought Rei. She instantly zipped back, then up, then to the left, as
Lillith flew with her right hand outstretched like a claw. She tightened her grip on
Shinji, and said. "Hold on to me."

Recognizing the need for evasive manuevers, Shinji locked his fingers together
on Rei's hip and nodded.

Rei swooped down to skim the ground, weaving around trees. Lilllith followed, and
simply crashed into and through them. Abruptly Rei turned around, bent her knees
and pushed off a tree trunk. She zipped back the other way passing Lilllith. The
possessed girl looked back at her quarry, and then slammed into the mountainside.

"She is angry." Rei said calmly.

"MINE!" a voice resonated through the winds.

Rei smiled very slightly. LillithÆs presence in that shell was very similar to possession,
an expression of desire so vast that the world twisted around to make it happen. But
for all that power, it was ignorant. Untrained.
The blue-haired girl bobbed left, then right, as nearly invisible cutting shards slashed
through the air. Lillith thought æCOME HERE.Æ Her AT-field flared as trees sent flying
up struck her side, and that was enough to send her spinning. Rei closed her eyes and embraced Shinji tighter.

'I will protect.' she said to the universe. 'He will not fall.'

She felt Shinji's lips on her hers. Surprised, she stopped. Shinji extended his right
hand, and Rei's AT-field obeyed. They both veered left, then down. Far behind
them, a hilltop was clipped out.

Shinji bared his teeth. ôShe doesnÆt know us.ö

Rei nodded. ôWe are always stronger together.ö

Shinji pulled free the buttons of his shirt and exposed the medallion he got back at
Javaal. The eye of (___) was made of psychoreactive material, the very seed for
everything else that used them.

Like the geofront itself, it was an alien construct.

What was more important was that it was placed into a new casing. One that
served as a wireless remote controller. Shinji pushed a button and the side of
a hill exploded outward. There were plenty of buried explosives around Tokyo-3.
"Oh this is bad." the boy whispered.

There, floating with arms akimbo, Lillith looked unscathed.

"It is my body." said Rei. Theoretically, even a being such as Lillith should be
limited by what the mortal frame could handle. She was only functionally immortal,
Rei was keenly familiar in how easily she may be killed. It was blessing.

"We need weapons." said Shinji, still with one arm around Rei. He showed no
shame about being in distress. "Um, I'm going to need both hands free."
"I will not let you fall." Rei replied grim finality.

Shinji chuckled lightly. "I love you, you know that?"

Rei couldn't help but to blush. "I..." Shinji adjusted his place to be able to put both
arms on either side of Rei's head. Their cheeks were now touching. Rei looked down
with a slight smile on her face. "I do."

Lillith's eyes flashed bright. One moment, three very strange teenagers were at a
standoff, and then there were two overlapping sonic booms.
Controlling the AT-field of an Evangelion was like trying to harness a hurricane. It was
not that Rei's AT-field was more compliant, but much more focused. Synching with
Rei was very much like synching with an Evangelion, only that it was constant and
noninvasive. The light of Shinji's own soul may not be bright as Rei's, but it burned
hot.

Rei weaved left and right, as Lillith forcefully ûpulled-, drawing everything in a line
into a strange vacuum blade. Throwing out her will, it slashed away at the ground.
Lillith, for all Her power, really didn't know much about using an AT-field.
Her godlike power was intrinsic and instant. Only a barest fraction of that could be
evoked from Rei's physical form.

Large area slashes, though barely visible, were doing nothing. Rei's own senses
could perceive and avoid them. Annoyed, Lillith then held out both Her hands palm
out, and hot line scorched the trees passed by. It was a laser, thankfully not yet
homing.

Shinji observed it, feeling ReiÆs AT-field like a second skin. He held out the medallion
and from out the eye came small quick balls of lightning.

Lillith twisted sharply and let the rapid-fire plasma balls pass by. Then from either
hand threw pulsing jets of raw starfire. The blasts, humming through the air with the
crack of cannon fire, blew large craters where they struck. Out from the dust cloud,
came another bright blue burst in machinegun spread.

Boom! Boom! Vip! Vip! Vip! Vip! Boom! Vip! Vip! It was daytime, and the air duel
was only visible by the scars and explosions they left in their wake. Buildings
collapsed, streets were torn up, and the shockwaves left by the rapid turns gave
a sound like popping corn.


=][=


Inside the geofront, Misato was just being asked by the Prime Minister of Japan
"Where is Shinji Ikari?" It was quite suspicious that he wasn't around to be asked
if he was willingy paticipating in Misato's extortion.

All Angel alarms lit up. Overlapping DANGER signs replaced the conference screens.

"Major AT-field!" Makoto reported from the commande center. The powers being
unleashed could not be ignored by mere programming quirks. "It's... pattern blue...
but there's two signals!"

"Where is it?"

"Downtown." He then worked over the feeds. "We don't have video, but there's
still sound pickup from the monitoring stations." Not realizing that the conference
linkup was still active, he piped in the data.

"I WANT HIM INSIDE ME!" loudly came Rei Ayanami's voice.

Misato's expression froze. "Just for once... this once." she said numbly. "Just let
that be exactly what it sounds like."

"Aheh. Sorry, Katsuragi-san. Ah!" Makoto found an intact monitoring station at an
outlying building. "It's... Ayanami. And Ikari? And Ayanami.ö The readouts shifted
to familiar patterns. ôIt's an Angel attack."
"Dammit."

-][-


Can't concentrate. Ponies.
 

Sdebeli

Well-Known Member
I don' think I need to repeat my previous statement, as my opinion is yet to change.

On the other hand...
I really think you should stick to the italics on Yang's letter... gives it a better feel, for the lack of a better word.

I am slightly confused by the overall status between the major forces here and Japan's standing between them.
It's pretty much the Chinese vs the Russians vs the States vs the Cradle, all of them vs the Angels, but not together, and Europe, NERV and Japan standing somewhere between all that... and of course God Emperor Shinji trying not to get raped or worse by Lilith. Did I get something wrong?

Also, how the hell you manage to keep Gendo a complete mystery while not being an annoyance or walking plot hole is beyond me.
 

ThySelf

Well-Known Member
bluepencil said:
Only revisions for now.

-------------

Tumbling Down part 2
-][-


Can't concentrate. Ponies.
... You watched My little pony, didn't you.
 
ThySelf said:
bluepencil said:
Only revisions for now.

-------------

Tumbling Down part 2
-][-


Can't concentrate. Ponies.
... You watched My little pony, didn't you.
Well 40k!shinji's greatest power always was the ability to unite mankind with the power of friendship.

...Well that and hot blooded explosions.
 

bluepencil

that's why it's trash can, not trash cannot
Just finished watching Party of One. Whoa. While it's always been implied, I never really expected them to show Pinkie Pie's psychotic break. The characterization of archetypes is inconceivably excellent. I'm keeping this show for... reference.

::burns DVDs for future generations::
 

Cornuthaum

Well-Known Member
After a year of absence, I decided to watch the Rebuild movies, and what better fanfic to read after getting some NGE-lust injected into my veins than S&40K?

And damn, it was good. In fact, it was most excellent.

The action sequences keep getting crazier and crazier - at some point, they will have to crack the moon in half and use one half to beat the Moon Cradle on the other half to dust if you keep writing them in a linear scale of increasing craziness/epic.

But what really got me was Kaworu. For all his arrogance (and how much of it is arrogance if you really are that good?), you have turned him into a Mirror Darkly of Shinji - all the brilliance, all the multi-tiered plotting, and almost-perfect inverse approaches to personnel management (coaxing the heart vs. coercing the mind) and doctrine.

And even though Kaworu is responsible for atrocities superseded only by Impact, it was heart-wrenching.

Kaworu let go of Sarah's shoulder and slumped defeated to both knees. "Yes." The
Hivemind was screaming. "Yes, my Master."

He was a slave again.
When the reader feels bad for one of the antagonists, you as a writer have succeeded.

Thanks for writing this, bpen. Not for the crazy action scenes - though they are appreciated - and not for the ever-more detailed technical descriptions - I think they bloat the story a bit at times, but are certainly worth reading - but for the character development.

After all, is it not said "Think of the worst thing that could happen to your characters, then do it to them"?
 
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