Ranma ½ SMUG

[Lord Raa]

Out of sequence snippet time:

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Kasumi walked in with a tray of cold drinks.

ôRanma-kun, would you like a-ö the brunette uncharacteristically stumbled and spilled some of the cold liquid on the pigtailed youth.

ôLemonade is normally taken internally, Kasumi,ö the cat said, looking disapprovingly at the homemaker.

ôIÆm sorry, Ranma-kun, I slipped,ö Kasumi insisted.

ôThe hot water heaterÆs still broken, isnÆt it?ö Ranma asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

ôà Yes.ö

ôIf I didnÆt know any better, IÆd say that this was a cunning plan to turn me into a cat for some pettingàö the black and white cat said, closing one eye. ôLemonade makes my tongue go all tingly when IÆm a cat so I canÆt clean myself. IÆd have a bath, but since thereÆs no hot water, someoneÆs going to have to do the cleaning for me...

ôBut who could I ask to wipe me down with a wet cloth and gently towel me dry? Who could I ask to ensure that the fur on my tummy is properly cleaned?ö

ôIÆll do it,ö Kasumi volunteered enthusiastically. ôI was the one who spilled the lemonade on you.ö

ôAlright, Kasumi, IÆll let you give me a sponge-bath. But donÆt think that I canÆt see what youÆre trying to do.ö


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[zeebee1]

And thus Ranma proves that cats truly control the world.

 

[Lord Raa]

I've written more, but I'm not sure where it belongs.

Should it wait until I get around to where it belongs in the story? Should I post it out of sequence in another section?

Should I abandon this one altogether?

 

[varth]

I've written more, but I'm not sure where it belongs.

Should it wait until I get around to where it belongs in the story? Should I post it out of sequence in another section?

Should I abandon this one altogether?

It is previews forum, just shoot away, no one will be bothered if you deviate from chapter by chapter form.

As to whether continue? Any story with Ranma who does not bend over to let everyone screw him over has some potential. Guess the issue depends on you going somewhere with this (even short term goal is fine), vs. just having fun with "catty Ranma" concept.

I had fun reading it, with exception of Amazon debacle. The whole "missed the fact that chinese rural girl doesn't understand him" feels absurdly retarded. Doesn't fit this Ranma at all, that's what I felt.

 

[Lord Raa]

Since you're interested in some more of this nonsense...


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Ranma had quickly gotten used to the recent changes in his life. Sure, there were awkward moments around the Tendo home, but it certainly did have its advantages.

A roof over your head and regular meals made things a lot easier when it came to training; and there were more than just martial arts for the young Saotome to train inà

His return to Japan had allowed him to catch up on some popular culture, and it was while he was watching TV that he encountered the phrase ôto charm the panties off someoneö.

There had been some dispute on the TV program about whether the character would succeed or not, and as it was a comedy, the arrogant man had failed miserably.

ôHowever, he clearly lacks the skills that I haveàö Ranma smirked.

And it was true. Ranma was not only a skilled martial artist, but his cursed body had an aura that had turned Akane from a boy-hating tomboy into someone with an interest in the male gender; even it seemed to be mostly directed at his feline form.

Kasumi walked in with a tray of cold drinks.

ôRanma-kun, would you like a-ö the brunette uncharacteristically stumbled and spilled some of the cold liquid on the pigtailed youth.

ôLemonade is normally taken internally, Kasumi,ö the cat said, looking disapprovingly at the homemaker.

ôIÆm sorry, Ranma-kun, I slipped,ö Kasumi insisted.

ôThe hot water heaterÆs still broken, isnÆt it?ö Ranma asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

ôà Yes.ö

ôIf I didnÆt know any better, IÆd say that this was a cunning plan to turn me into a cat for some pettingàö the black and white cat said, closing one eye. ôLemonade makes my tongue go all tingly when IÆm a cat so I canÆt clean myself. IÆd have a bath, but since thereÆs no hot water, someoneÆs going to have to do the cleaning for me...

ôBut who could I ask to wipe me down with a wet cloth and gently towel me dry? Who could I ask to ensure that the fur on my tummy is properly cleaned?ö

ôIÆll do it,ö Kasumi volunteered enthusiastically. ôI was the one who spilled the lemonade on you.ö

ôAlright, Kasumi, IÆll let you give me a sponge-bath. But donÆt think that I canÆt see what youÆre trying to do.ö

Kasumi excitedly carried Ranma to the bathroom and after placing the cat down, moistened a washcloth in preparation.

ôSorry about this, Ranma-kun,ö she said as she gently wiped the sugary drink off the catÆs flank.

ôYouÆre enjoying this, arenÆt you?ö

ôIà, well, itÆs important to be clean,ö the brunette said with a blush.

ôYeah, well, IÆm clean now.ö

ôButàö

ôOh, donÆt worry, IÆll let you pet me some more. In fact, IÆll let you pet my tummy,ö Ranma said, smugness radiating from his smirking face. ôBut thereÆs a price to payàö

ôW-what kind of price?ö

ôA fee, if you will,ö the cat leered. ôI wouldnÆt want you to get hairs on your dressàö

ôY-you want me to take off my dress?ö Kasumi stammered. This was most improper.

ôItÆs up to you, but the less youÆre wearing, the longer you get to pet my tummyàö

ôButà youÆre aàö

ôIÆm a cat, Kasumi. And will be until someone gets me some hot water. You wouldnÆt be the first person to be partially dressed in front of a cat,ö Ranma said. ôOf course, itÆs fine if you donÆt want to pet my tummy. I mean, youÆre the reason why my clothes have fallen off; some people would get punished for such a thingàö

Kasumi recoiled slightly in shock. She didnÆt mean to upset Ranma. SheÆd seen what had happened to that Hibiki boy whoÆd fallen for Akane.

The wanderer had faced a terrible dilemma: walk home in his underwear or walk home in clothes that were slashed, torn and soaked with cat urine.

Or at least, thatÆs what sheÆd thought until heÆd disappeared and a duck showed up in the pond.

ôàö

ôIs something wrong, Kasumi?ö the feline asked with a genuine sincerity.

ôIà you donÆt think that Hibiki boy has a curse like you?ö

ôRyoga? I wouldnÆt worry about him,ö Ranma smirked. ôIÆm sure heÆll be fine. But enough talk about idiots like that, what do you think about my offer, Kasumi? Would you like to rub my tummy? You know I donÆt let just anyone touch me there, in fact youÆd be the first person in Nerima IÆd let do thatàö

Kasumi blushed. She wanted to make amends for turning Ranma into a cat, but his æfeeÆà it didnÆt seem proper. æBut then again, he is a cat. ItÆs not like IÆm undressing for a manàÆ ôOk, Ranma-kun, just this once.ö

ôYouÆll enjoy this, Kasumi.ö


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As soon as Ranma had jumped up onto KasumiÆs bed, the brunette locked the door to her room.

æSheÆs a shy thing,Æ the cat noted. æI think I like that.Æ

Blushing heavily, the homemaker unfastened her dress and slipped it onto a hanger. Of her sisters, she was the one who took the most care of her possessions.

Not that Akane was particularly harsh on her things, but she didnÆt understand the importance of careful planning and preparation.

Nabiki tended to treat everything as if it was a rental that someone else was picking up the tab for.

Ranma licked his lips at the sight of Kasumi turning towards him, clad only in her plain white cotton socks, bra and panties. It was clear that the brunette was hiding a sexy body under her housedresses.

ôBest. Plan. Ever,ö he murmured. Realising that he was being watched, Ranma rolled onto his back and exposed his white underside. ôIÆm ready when you are àö

Entranced by the movement of the catÆs soft white fur, Kasumi strode to the bed and reached out hesitantly. The moment she touched RanmaÆs belly, she almost fainted from sensory overload and let out a whimper.

ôSo you do like this?ö Ranma smirked. He shifted to make it easier for the brunette to complete long strokes down his torso. Involuntarily, he started to purr loudly.

Kasumi was too wrapped up in the sensations of petting the smug catÆs belly to comment on how Ranma seemed to enjoy it just as much as she did.

Ranma sniffed the air. Something was different; he couldnÆt sense anything dangerous, but there was a new scent in the air. After a few more subtle sniffs, he realised what had changed.

The blend of the catÆs aura started to change. Previously it was one of contentment, but now confidence was creeping in and after a minute, it was one of almost pure smugness.

Not that Kasumi had noticed. She continued to stroke RanmaÆs underside, allowing time to get away from her.

ôI think thatÆs enough for now, Kasumi.ö

ôButàö

ôYouÆve been doing that for some time,ö Ranma answered. ôBesides, itÆs nearly time for dinner.ö

ôWait, is that the time?ö Kasumi asked, glancing at her alarm clock. ôIÆve got to make a start on tonightÆs dinner.ö

The cat yawed as he got to his feet. ôThat was fun. WeÆll have to do this again some time.ö

ôYes,ö the brunette blushed as she put her dress back on.


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[Prince Charon]

Nice.

 

[Genericrandom]

I like this. Having three cats at my house, whenever I read this I think about one of them able to talk, and it often comes out fairly similar to this. We already do stupid things for our cats, just imagine what it'd be like if they could direct our stupidity?

Also a nice blending of the sources from what I've read so far.

 

[Lord Raa]

               

 

[Deathwings]

Even if it's overdone and predictable, these kind of scene always make me crack up. Kuno is such a great punching bag. ^_^

 

[Dumbledork]

Even if it's overdone and predictable, these kind of scene always make me crack up. Kuno is such a great punching bag. ^_^

I agree.

 

[Cynical Kyle]

Even if it's overdone and predictable, these kind of scene always make me crack up. Kuno is such a great punching bag. ^_^

Raa deserves the credit for making the SMUGNESS feel tangible even in overdone scene such as that.

 

[chronodekar]

That was fun reading. ^_^

I have a passing familiarity with that cat manga, but can't seem to get into it proper.

For a change, I would like to see a chapter/story Lord Raa calls "a brilliant idea/thing". Most of what I see from him claim to be "terrible, terrible ideas..." or the like.

-chronodekar

 

[Lord Raa]

That was fun reading. ^_^

I have a passing familiarity with that cat manga, but can't seem to get into it proper.

For a change, I would like to see a chapter/story Lord Raa calls "a brilliant idea/thing". Most of what I see from him claim to be "terrible, terrible ideas..." or the like.

-chronodekar

But that would require me to have a brilliant idea and I don't see that happening any time soon, do you?

 

[chronodekar]

That was fun reading.? ^_^

I have a passing familiarity with that cat manga, but can't seem to get into it proper.

For a change, I would like to see a chapter/story Lord Raa calls "a brilliant idea/thing". Most of what I see from him claim to be "terrible, terrible ideas..." or the like.

-chronodekar

But that would require me to have a brilliant idea and I don't see that happening any time soon, do you?

To be honest, I tried to. I really REALLY tried. For the past so much time, I've been developing my ability to perceive events 30 minutes into the future.

The only problem is that it takes me 1 hours to decrypt the data into meaningful information.

At the moment, I can honestly confirm that an hour ago, I perceived you not having a "brilliant" idea 30 minutes ahead.

Which, at current time, means 30 minutes ago.

...

:help: I ... I think I need to stop. Time manipulation is a difficult thing to be fiddling around with.

:rip1:

-chronodekar

 

[EagleCeres]

Chrono...
Accept the injustice! Embrace the Injustice! Let it show you the way of the LULZ!

BTW Raa... do you know if there's any more of this particular brand of juice tins somewhere? :yay:

 

[Lord Raa]

SMUG


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: For your own safety, please do not climb on the lion.


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Genma Saotome looked down at the black and white cat that was walking along side him. He wondered just what his old training partner would make of how things had turned out after all these years.

Sure, aside from a little mishap during the last leg of his multiyear journey, things hadn’t gone too badly with Ranma’s training. And even then, it wasn’t like he’d been inconvenienced by the incident at Jusenkyo like his son had.

“So, Ranma, how about we meet up with my old friend?”

The cat looked up at him and unleashed some serious scorn. “What have you been playing at? It’s about time you got us out of the cold!”

“Calm down, Ranma, I’m not even sure if Tendo-kun’s daughters are still available.”

“Daughters?” the black and white cat’s expression softened instantly. “You should have mentioned that sooner! Lead the way, old man!”

Shaking his head, Genma bent down to pick up the damp feline and quickly complete the journey to the Tendo Dojo. For a change, Ranma didn’t complain about being picked up and stayed still.

Half an hour later, Genma rang the doorbell to the Tendo home and was greeted by a tall, thin man in a black gi.

“Saotome-kun?!”

“It is indeed, Tendo-kun,” the portly man confirmed. “I have arrived at last.”

“Please, come in, Saotome-kun,” Soun smiled happily. “Err, where is your son?”

“Here he is,” Genma said as he lifted Ranma up.

“That’s a cat, Saotome-kun.”

“At the moment, yes,” the stocky man admitted, “But if you could get us some hot water, I’ll explain everything.”

“Who is it, Daddy?” a female voice asked.

“It’s Saotome-kun and Ranma, Nabiki-chan,” the thinner man answered.

“Oh, a cat,” the brunette commented as she reached out to pet the soggy animal on the head. “I thought you said that your friend was bringing his son here.”

The cat’s expression suddenly turned from one of curiosity to one of supreme smugness, causing Nabiki to blink in surprise. “J-just what’s going on with this cat?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” a voice, seemingly coming from the cat, replied.

“Don’t be like that, Ranma.”

“Perhaps you should take a bath, Saotome-kun, you look like you’ve been in the rain all day?” Soun suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” Genma nodded. He climbed the stairs and made his way to the bathroom, Ranma still in his arms.

The Tendo Patriarch turned to his daughter. “I think that all the years away on the road have taken their toll on Saotome-kun.”

“Yeah, he seems to think that his cat can talk,” Nabiki said, clearly unsettled by the idea of a mentally unstable man in the house.

“I…. it gets worse, Nabiki-chan!” Soun said, his eyes welling with tears. “H-he thinks that cat is his son! Waah! My old training partner has lost his son and gone insane!”

“Calm down, Tendo-kun,” Genma called from the top of the stairs. “I’ve not gone insane; I’ll explain everything after I’ve had my bath.”

“I’m sure that there’s a rational explanation for all of this, Daddy. In the mean time, I’ll get Akane.”

“T-thank you, Nabiki,” the moustachioed man sniffed as his dreams of a secured family legacy were crumbling before his very eyes.


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Ranma stretched out in the bathtub, enjoying the hot water as it relaxed his muscles.

“They think I’m crazy,” Genma said as he finished scrubbing down for his bath.

“Neko-ken,” the pigtailed martial artist countered lazily. “You can’t call that the action of a healthy mind.”

“That was a mistake! How many times do I have to apologise for that?!” the balding man asked before rinsing off the lather. “Now, move over and let your father have his bath.”

“Fine,” Ranma said as he moved over. “So, what’s the plan?”

Genma let out a contented sigh as he slid into the water. “We have our meeting and you pick one of Tendo-kun’s daughters as a fiancée.”

“What do you know about them?”

“One of them is called ‘Nabiki,’” the older Saotome answered.

“Are you sure you didn’t fall into the Spring of Drowned Useless Oaf while we were at Jusenkyo?” Ranma asked, rolling his eyes.


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Akane looked up at her sister as she took a breather from her training. “What was that?”

“Daddy’s friend has arrived.”

“And why is that anything to do with us, Nabiki?”

“Because I think this is the friend Daddy’s been waiting for. You know, the one whose son he wants us all to meet?” Nabiki explained.

“Oh, that one,” the younger sister said, wiping the sweat from her brow. She noticed that her sister had a concerned look about her. “So, what’s gotten you so worried?”

“I think Daddy’s friend might be…” the short-haired sister tried to word her response diplomatically. “He had a cat with him and he treated it like it was his son. He even pretended to make it talk.”

Akane looked stunned as she tried to reconcile her emotional, occasionally hysterical father who… had nice hair....really nice hair. A bead of sweat appeared on her forehead as she tried to find a suitable term to positively describe her father.

“I don’t know what you mean, Nabiki – sure, Daddy’s hardly what you call stoic, but I can’t believe he’d be friends with someone crazy enough to believe a cat was his son.”

“I’ll prove it to you, come inside,” Nabiki insisted.


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The two younger Tendo sisters entered the living room as their father was nervously tapping his fingers on the table.

“Daddy?” Akane asked. “Is something wrong?”

Before the moustachioed man could answer, Kasumi escorted the two Saotomes into the room.

“Ah Tendo-kun, it’s good to see you again,” Genma smiled before taking a seat opposite his old training partner.

“Who is this?” Nabiki asked. ‘He’s kind of cute…’

“This is my son, Ranma.”

“Hello everybody,” Ranma bowed politely.

“When did you arrive?”

“With my old man.”

“No, your father arrived with a cat,” Soun countered.

“How best to explain?” the portly man asked. “I know.”

Genma Saotome emptied a nearby vase of flowers over his son, turning it into a black and white cat.

“Thank you,” the cat said, its voice thick with sarcasm.

“You’re that cat I saw earlier!” Mr. Tendo observed.

“As you can see, I’ve got a little condition. When I come into contact with cold water, I turn into a cat. Hot water will turn me back.”

“Cats can’t talk!” Akane declared.

“And here I am having a conversation with you and your family, young lady,” Ranma smirked.

“This is a joke, right?” Nabiki asked. “It’s a great trick, I’m impressed. But why us?”

“This isn’t a trick,” the cat said. He walked over to where Kasumi was sitting and peered at her. “You’re the one who makes the food, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes,” the brunette confirmed. “A-are you some sort of ghost cat?”

“It it makes it easier for you to accept that I can talk, then yes, you can consider me a supernatural cat.” The aura of smugness that was radiating from the cat was palpable for everyone in the room.

“J-just what kind of cat are you?” Akane demanded.

“The best kind of cat,” Ranma winked.

Kasumi’s hand seemed to move of its own accord and she started to stroke Ranma’s back.

“A little presumptuous, aren’t we?” the feline smirked.

“S-sorry, Ranma-san, I didn’t mean to, I just…” Kasumi apologised.

Ranma looked up at Kasumi and nodded. “It’s understandable. Still, don’t think that I’ll let just anyone pet me.”

“Who would want to pet a freaky cat like you?” Nabiki asked, unsettled by the way her elder sister had unconsciously reached out and started to pet Ranma.

“Your sister for one,” Ranma said, sticking his tongue out. He turned his attention to Akane. “Is there something you wanted to know?”

“What’s with your face? What have you done to warrant this audacity?” the youngest sister asked.

The cat flopped on his side before rolling onto his back, exposing his white-furred belly.

“So cute…” the sisters said in unison.

“That’s enough fanservice for now,” Ranma said, quickly rolling onto his feet. “So, can someone explain why we’re having this meeting?”

“Err, yes,” Genma said, coughing into his fist to gather everyone’s attention. “Long ago, Tendo-kun and I were training under a terrible master. They were dark days, and the only thing that got us through was the pact we made.”

“Yes, the pact to secure the legacy of the Tendo Dojo. These are my daughters: Kasumi, 19; Nabiki, 17; and Akane, 16. Pick one to be your fiancée,” Soun, gesturing to each of his daughters in turn.

“Hmm…” Ranma said as he appraised each of the potential mates. “I don’t think I can pick one just like that, Mr. Tendo. I think they should all be allowed the chance to win me over.”

“W-what makes you think that I want to win you over?” Akane asked, her cheeks turning bright red. “Y-you’re just a cat.”

“Fufufu,” the cat chuckled. “You forgot what happens when I get splashed with hot water.”

Soun reached for the teapot and poured its contents over the audacious beast.

Ranma’s features shifted; fur disappeared and instead of a cat sitting on its haunches, he turned into a naked young man lying on his front, his head resting on his hands. “So, as you can see, I’m more than just a cat. And I’m more than just a boy.”

“But who will be your fiancée?” Soun asked. “What about securing the legacy of the Tendo Dojo?”

“All in good time,” the pigtailed youth smirked.


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The following morning, after everyone had finished their breakfast, Ranma looked at his father in mild disbelief. “You want me to what?”

“Go to school with Akane and Nabiki. We’ll be staying for a while, you know,” the portly Saotome answered. “Besides, this will give you a chance to get to know them better.”

“I suppose that there is that,” the pigtailed youth shrugged. He turned to Akane and Nabiki. “Do you mind if I walk to school with you two?”

“If you must,” Akane grumbled.

“Don’t mind her, Ranma, she’s just grumpy because she didn’t get much sleep last night,” Nabiki explained.

Ranma shrugged again before following the two sisters on the way to Furinkan.

Nabiki and Akane didn’t talk to Ranma during their walk. They didn’t really talk to each other, either. In fact, the whole journey was pretty much silent until they reached the gates of Furinkan High School.

There was a mob of male students assembled, all of them ready and waiting for something or someone.

A voice called out, “There she is!” and the amassed students charged.

“Every morning,” Akane complained as she ran towards the hormonal boys who were intent on fighting her.

“Akane Tendo, please date me!”

“Akane Tendo, accept my love!”

A hurricane of haymakers, sweeping kicks and judo throws all took care of the horde.

“Truly such a boorish lot,” a male voice scoffed. “They think that they are worthy of your affections.”

“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” Akane growled as she fell into an aggressive stance.

“Very well, Akane Tendo, if you defeat me, I shall allow you to date me,” a tall student dressed in the uniform of a kendo team declared.

“Wait, what?” Ranma asked, not sure if he should be impressed with Akane’s skill at fighting multiple opponents or shocked and appalled by the fact that they would attack her for what appeared to be the right to date her.

“Who dares encroach upon the hallowed grounds of Furinkan High School? Who is it that thinks he can interfere with a sacred courtship ritual?”

The pigtailed martial artist grinned arrogantly. “Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes. And who are you?”

“Who am I? I’m Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High and rising star of the kendo world!”

“I know kendo, it’s the one where you wave a silly stick about,” Ranma smirked insufferably.

“WHAT?” Kuno demanded.

“Kendo is all about waving a silly stick about,” the cursed martial artist repeated in slow, patronising voice.

The kendoist flew into a blind rage and charged at Ranma, intent on punishing this conceited wretch. He’d show this smug barbarian just what kendo was all about.

Ranma used his agility to avoid the rapid strikes before sweeping out the legs from under Kuno, causing the older boy to come crashing down to the ground.

“Careful there, you could hurt yourself,” Saotome mocked.

“I fight on!” Kuno insisted, jumping to his feet.

“I’m bored with this now,” Ranma decided. He redirected several slashes before unleashing a roundhouse kick to his opponent’s head, knocking him down. “Shall we go in now, Akane?”

“Y-yeah,” the youngest Tendo nodded. ‘Just how good are you, Ranma?’


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“Class, I’d like you to meet Ranma Saotome, he’s just transferred here. Saotome-kun, while it is true that you’ve recently arrived from China, that’s no excuse for being late. Stand in the hall,” the teacher said, clearly unimpressed with this newcomer.

“What?”

“Buckets, hall, now,” the teacher said in a threatening tone.

“Fine,” Ranma muttered. He picked up the buckets of water and stepped out into the hallway. As he passed the teacher’s desk, he heard the man speak under his breath.

“That’ll teach you to mess with the kendo team.”

Akane knew that she was just as late to class as Ranma, but decided against pressing the matter with her rather grumpy looking teacher. She took her seat as normal.

“Now then, class, if you’ll turn to page 135, we can begin our lesson.”


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In Nabiki’s class, several students were asking questions about the new boy who had picked a fight with Kuno.

“Hey, Nabiki, you were walking with that boy, what’s his name?” a girl asked.

“Ranma Saotome,” the middle Tendo sister answered. She looked up to see who had started the questioning. It was a raven-haired girl called Kyoko.

“So, how did you meet him?” Kyoko followed up.

“It’s a long story,” Nabiki said, hoping that her teacher would call the class to order before she let it slip that Ranma was staying at her house.

That would have been difficult to explain. After all, her sister Akane seemed to have attracted the attention of all the boys in the school. Having one staying under the same roof would only add fuel to the fire that Akane was hogging all the boys.

Still, at least Ranma’s curse hadn’t been revealed yet – the feeling that she got from that smugness was nauseating.

Tatewaki Kuno, only recently having regained consciousness from his savage beating at the hands of the arrogant youth, perked up. “Tell me Nabiki Tendo, how do you know the details of this Ranma Saotome?”

“It’ll cost you 2000 yen.”

Kuno pulled out his wallet and handed over two crisp notes. “Please, tell me the details.”

“He’s staying with us for the time being,” Nabiki answered.

“What? Under the same roof as Akane? I cannot allow this!” the kendoist leapt to his feet and charged to where Akane’s class was.


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Ranma was glad his teacher had finally called him back inside. He’d been getting bored with his punishment. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been attacked by an idiot.

Now that he thought about it, Ranma seemed to encounter idiots a lot.

‘The gods must like idiots, they made plenty of them,’ the pigtailed youth mused as he took his place.

Sayuri turned to her friend. “Hey, Yuka-chan, can you feel something weird?”

“Yeah, it’s like there’s something… I don’t know, I can’t put it into words, but it’s definitely there. Do you feel it too, Akane-chan?”

Akane paused for a moment. She nodded. “Y-yeah… I think I’ve felt it before.”

Then it struck her; she knew where she’d felt this before. It was when Ranma had turned into a cat last night. The Tendo girl turned to where Ranma was flicking through the book on his desk, noting that he wore a satisfied look on his face.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Tatewaki Kuno burst in.

“Saotome! I know your wicked plan!”

“Oh, I very much doubt that,” Ranma smirked.

“I know that you’re staying under the same roof as my fierce tigress, Akane Tendo!” the kendoist announced.

Akane turned bright red at that revelation. “I-it’s not what you think! Our fathers are friends!”

“You didn’t mention anything about this, Akane-chan,” Sayuri complained.

“Yeah, when were you going to tell us about Saotome-kun?” Yuka demanded.

“Fufufu,” Ranma chuckled, the look on his face turning even more arrogant. “You are not ready to know all of my secrets…”

“Such audacity!” Kuno growled. “I will put you in your place!”

“My place is right here,” the pigtailed boy replied, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head.

The older student’s face turned scarlet with rage. “Y-you dare talk back to the Blue Thunder of Furinkan in such a manner!?!”

“You dare interrupt the education of so many innocent students in such a manner?” Ranma asked, his face somehow turning even smugger as he turned his attention away from the older boy.

“Such unwarranted arrogance! You will learn your place, foul cur!” Kuno declared as he pulled out a bokken.

“I understand that you feel inferior in my presence, Sempai, but that bokken is just plain overcompensation. Surely the way of gentleman is to settle things through dialogue,” the pigtailed teenager replied smugly. “Of course, this is assuming that you are as much a gentleman as I.”

“WHAT?” the older boy demanded, his teeth tightly clenched.

“To use violence is rather boorish, is it not?” Ranma asked. “And since you’re a gentleman, or at least a reasonable facsimile of one, we should be using other methods to resolve our little disagreement.”

“Enough of your foolish doubletalk! It’s time to end this!”

The smug student let out a soft chuckle. “And just how are you going to do that, Blue Thunder? Are you just going to assault me during my lesson? Hardly the stuff of legend.”

Kuno froze up for a moment. “Perhaps it would be better for us to fight outside.”

“It probably would.”

“Then we will fight outside!”

“But I’m in the middle of a lesson,” Ranma countered, the smirk his face infuriating Kuno further. “If you interrupt my education, how can I learn?”

Akane looked on, her stomach unsettled by the two auras of arrogance clashing around her. ‘He has a point, but why does he have to behave like that?’

“This cannot wait!” Kuno insisted.

The pigtailed youth sighed. “Fine, let’s take this outside.”


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Back at the Tendo home, Kasumi was making some tea for her father and Genma Saotome.

As she poured the tea, Genma looked out of the corner of his eye at the brunette.

“Thank you, Kasumi, you’re a sweet girl. So, what do you think about my son?”

“Ranma-kun? Well, I don’t know him that well, but he seems like a nice enough person,” she replied, her cheeks turning pink as she recalled petting his cat form.

“So you’re interested in him?” Soun asked, hoping that one of his daughters would agree to marry Ranma.

“Well, he’s certainly less boring than most boys his age,” Kasumi admitted, trying to keep her voice casual.

Soun was about to press further when Genma chuckled.

“Yes, Ranma and I have had some adventures over the years.”

“Oh?” the homemaker asked as she settled in to hear a story about Ranma’s adventures.

“We were in China, soon after we visited Jusenkyo…”


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Ranma stretched as part of his warm up routine.

“You only delay the inevitable,” Kuno said as he stood with his bokken held out in two hands. “Cease your time wasting antics and face me in honourable combat.”

“I would if I thought you knew anything about honourable combat, Kuno,” Ranma smirked as he fell into a fairly neutral stance. “Are you ready?”

“I was born ready!”

The pigtailed youth rolled his eyes and closed the distance between him and his pompous opponent.

“Have at you!” Kuno declared as he prepared an upward stroke with his weapon.

Ranma calmly dodged the strike and slapped Kuno on the left cheek, the sound of the blow reverberating around the schoolyard.

“W-what was that?” the kendoist demanded as he righted himself after the attack. “You think that you can get away with striking the noble visage of the Blue Thunder?”

“Think? No. Know, yes,” the cursed teenager beamed as he grabbed Kuno by the gi and tossed him away like an old stuffed toy. “What else you got, Stick-boy?”

Kuno quickly jumped to his feet and moved his head around in circles. “I underestimated your capacity for trickery, Saotome! I shall not make that mistake again.”

“What trickery would that be, oh great swordsman Kuno?” Ranma asked, sarcastically.

“The way you were able to dodge my attack!”

“Of course. And there’s no possible way that I could have learned how to dodge slow moving attacks during my training, is there?”

“That was not slow! Have at you!” Kuno declared. Again.

This time, the delusional kendoist unleashed a barrage of rapid strikes, which Ranma found a lot more challenging to avoid.

With eel-like agility, Ranma avoid each of the thrusts from Kuno, though one of the last three had caught a glancing blow on the left side of his ribs.

The pigtailed youth winced slightly.

“Ha! I see that you are no match for my skills!”

“Looks like I need to slap some more sense into you, Kuno,” Ranma sighed as he grabbed his opponent by the gi and started batting him around the face with his open hand.

After nearly two minutes of this, Ranma appeared to grow bored and dropped Kuno to the ground. “You done, or do you want some more, you shaved ape?”

Kuno’s swollen cheeks prevented him from speaking intelligibly.

“I accept your gracious defeat and I’ll take you to the Nurse’s Office.”

“Noo~o!” the wannabe samurai protested. He fumbled around for his bokken to continue the fight.

“I was going to help you to your feet, but no, you had to be a jerk,” Ranma muttered angrily. He grabbed his defeated opponent by the leg and dragged him inside, tuning out the increasingly incoherent protests.

The crowd parted to allow the pair inside.

From their respective classrooms, Nabiki and Akane processed what they’d seen.

Akane wasn’t sure what to make of Ranma’s unorthodox fighting technique, while her sister was considering the moneymaking potential of the pigtailed youth.


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To be continued…?

 

[Lord Raa]

SMUG


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: The true test of inner strength is finding both stalls occupied.


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Chapter 2


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“So Ranma’s squeezed into this room looking for a place to rest,” Genma Saotome said with smile on his face. “He was just looking to get out of the rain and get warm. He sees that he’s in a girl’s room.”

“He sneaks into girls’ rooms? Saotome-kun, why didn’t you tell me that your son was a prowler?!”

“This was in China and Ranma was a cat at the time,” the portly man explained. “So, Ranma’s looking around for a place to get warm and he sees that it’s not just any girl’s room he’s in, it’s the village champion’s. And earlier, she’d been causing trouble for us both. “

“He didn’t do anything in her shoes, did he?”

“No, Tendo-kun, Ranma didn’t leave any ‘gifts’ in Shampoo’s shoes.”

“What did he do, Saotome-san?” Kasumi asked, curious as to what sort of prank Ranma would play on someone. She was glad to know, however, that he hadn’t done anything messy.

“He lay in wait for her to come back. He didn’t have to wait long and crept onto her bed and smiled at her. So Ranma says to her: You’re not like the others. Only you can hear me, Shampoo. I need your help to fight evil monsters.”

“What?” Soun Tendo asked, not completely understanding.

“Ranma pretended to be a magical animal that needed to recruit a girl to help save the world,” Genma replied.

Kasumi managed to contain her amusement at Ranma’s antics. While she didn’t approve of pranks, she felt that it would have been too difficult to pass up on the chance for Ranma to pretend that he was a mascot for a magical girl.

“What did she say?” the brunette asked, managing to maintain a straight face.

“Well, she wasn’t terrible impressed with a strange animal sneaking into her room,” the balding man admitted. “It took a few minutes to calm down and realise that Ranma was speaking to her. She tried to get her great-grandmother to translate, but Ranma refused to speak, pretending to be just a normal cat.

“Eventually though, Shampoo learned enough Japanese to begin to understand Ranma and he started his ‘you are a magical girl’ prank in earnest. A short while after that though, Shampoo’s great-grandmother overheard Ranma talking.”

“What happened then?” Kasumi asked, increasingly intrigued by this tale.

Genma finished his tea before continuing. “The old lady and some of her friends interrupted them and Ranma had to think fast. His reply was ‘Only magical girls can hear me, I didn’t know that there were so many potential magical girls in one location. Truly we are blessed! Those dark forces cannot win now!’ Unfortunately they didn’t buy it and we had to leave quickly. Something about a demon cat, I didn’t catch all of it as I was running away with Ranma…”

Soun shook his head in disapproval. “Saotome-kun…”

“Tendo-kun, if I hadn’t, Ranma would have been killed there and then. Possibly eaten too, you do know what ‘fragrant meat’ is, don’t you?” Genma asked. “We were out in the countryside, and you know how rural types can be. Remember the Yamagata temple?”

The moustachioed man blanched at the memory from his training. “I… yes, you made the right decision, Saotome-kun.”


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Ranma dragged Kuno into the centre of the Nurse’s Office and turned on his heel to leave.

“Excuse me,” the blonde nurse said, a tone of disapproval clear in her voice. “Care to explain what you think you’re doing?”

“Helping keep Japan tidy,” the pigtailed youth answered.

The nurse looked over the body. “Oh, it’s Kuno-kun. What happened to him?”

“He challenged me to a fight. He tagged me once, but he’s not as great as he claimed.”

The nurse finally got a good look at Ranma, and she had to admit that he wasn’t like the average Furinkan student. Handsome, muscular, filled with a confidence that couldn’t be easily shaken.

While that was also a valid description for Tatewaki Kuno, Ranma also had an aura of playfulness.

“So, what’s your name? I should probably know your name if you’re going to be fighting Kuno-kun here on a regular basis.”

“Ranma Saotome. And what do you mean fighting him on a regular basis?”

“He doesn’t give up easily. He’s still trying to convince Akane Tendo to go out with him.”

“How long has been trying that?” Ranma asked, rubbing his bruised ribs. The nurse noticed that he winced slightly.

“About three months now.”

“Wait, what? He’s been rejected for three months now? And he still keeps trying? He really is an idiot.” Ranma thought about kicking Kuno on principle.

“Yes he is. Oh, by the way, my name’s Nurse Seibu,” the blonde smiled.

“Pleased to meet you, Seibu-san,” the martial artist bowed politely.

“Err, Saotome-kun, you mentioned that Kuno-kun had ‘tagged you’ in the fight. I really should take a look at it,” Taeko Seibu said, unsure as to why it was suddenly feeling a little warm in her office.

“It’s nothing, I have to get back to class,” Ranma said, trying to avoid further hassle with his teacher.

“I insist, Saotome-kun. Now, where are you hurt?”

“He caught me in the ribs,” the martial artist said as he removed his shirt.

‘Oh my,’ Taeko thought as she saw Ranma’s sculpted physique. “I take it you work out a lot?”

Ranma picked up on the sudden change in behaviour. “Countless hours have gone into giving me this sexy, sexy body,” he smirked as he made a few bodybuilder poses.

“Stop that, Saotome-kun, you’ll just injure yourself further,” the nurse chided. “Now, take a seat and let me take a closer look.”


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A short while later, Ranma walked into his classroom. He apologised to his teacher for the interruption.

“Sorry about that, Sensei, but Kuno was most insistent that we settle our differences.”

Before the teacher could reply, the chimes signalling the end of the lesson sounded. He sighed as his class filed out. ‘You’ll learn your lesson next time, Saotome.’

Ranma gathered his things and followed his classmates into the corridor. “So, what’s the next lesson?”

“P.E.” a dejected male voice answered. “I hate P.E.”

The pigtailed youth shook his head in disbelief. P.E. was one of his favourite lessons.


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After trying to ignore them for several minutes, Nabiki looked up at the people standing around her desk. “Can I help you?”

“About that new boy you who was fighting Kuno-sempai… what do you know about him, Nabiki-chan?” a girl with her hair in a single ponytail asked.

“Not a great deal,” the mercenary sister admitted. “Why do you ask?”

“Well… I … it’s…” the girl’s confidence wavered and another stepped in.

“Well, he stood up to Kuno-sempai… no-one’s been able to beat him before.”

“So, you’re interested in violent boys?”

“N-no, it’s just… well, you saw what he looks like,” the second girl, a brunette with her hair in two short pigtails answered.

“Funny you should say that, because he’s in my sister’s class and I think she said something about having P.E. today…”

The group of girls rushed to the window to look for Ranma.

“There he is!” the brunette said, pointing at where the pigtailed martial artist was stretching. “So, what’s his name?”

“I…” the first girl trailed off and turned to where Nabiki was reading her text book. “Nabiki-chan, what can you tell us about him?”

“Oh, you’re referring to the new student? Well, I think he’s a martial artist of some sort. I might be able to find out some more details. For a reasonable fee…” Nabiki smirked as she trailed off.

The girls conferred each other for a moment. “What details do you think you could get for a thousand yen?”

“A name, a couple of likes and dislikes and whether or not he’s looking for a girlfriend.”

“You’re on,” the brunette said as she reached for her purse. She handed over a folded thousand yen note.


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As Ranma showed off as he went through his stretching exercises, the female half of his class arrived.

Akane wasn’t terribly impressed with the way that Ranma was making himself the centre of attention, though she managed to refrain from complaining lest anyone get the wrong idea.

The teacher, another alumnus of the Furinkan Kendo Team, called everyone around him.

“Right then, I want you to divide into two teams for softball – boys on one side, girls on the other.”

“But there are more girls than boys,” a male voice piped up. “We don’t have enough for a full team.”

“Yes, but you’ll have Saotome on your side. And since he’s some kind of athlete, that should even things up a little,” the young male teacher countered. “Or is Saotome too good to join in on the team games?”

“Fu-fu-fu,” Ranma chuckled. “You seem upset about something, Sensei. Have I done something wrong?”

“There you are!” a voice called out from the nearest school entrance.

Everyone turned to see a bandaged figure charge towards the assembled students.

The crowd parted as the desperate person neared Ranma.

“I will have my revenge upon you, Saotome!”

“Have you acquired some method of gaining more training since I left you in the Nurse’s Office?” Ranma asked, clearly unfazed by the enraged youth rushing towards him.

“What? No, unlike you, I do not have access to sorcery!” Kuno sneered. “I shall defeat you with skill, honour and courage!”

“You certainly have courage. How long do we have to wait for you get the skill and honour, Kuno? We’re supposed to be playing softball this period.”

The kendoist seethed as he pointed his wooden sword at his pigtailed nemesis. “I have had enough of your foolish double-talk and unwarranted arrogance! I shall put you in your place once and for all!”

“Didn’t you say that earlier?” Ranma asked with a look of mock confusion on his face. “You know, when you barged into my classroom and challenged me to the fight I won?”

“Enough!” Kuno declared as he fell into a stance. “We will do battle here and now!”

“Fine,” the pigtailed youth said as he fell into a typical Anything Goes stance. “You can go first.”

“That’s just what you want!”

“Ok, then I’ll make the first move,” Ranma said, rolling his eyes. “Are you ready, Kuno?”

“Yes.”

“Right, you all heard him say that he’s ready.” Ranma launched himself towards Kuno and vaulted over him. As he moved overhead, he planted a foot in the middle of the kendoist’s back, causing him to stumble forward.

Kuno turned around to face Ranma. He was about to ask, “Is that all you have?” when he suddenly felt a draught.

He looked down and saw his hakama had fallen around his knees.

“Are we done yet, or do I have to hurt you as well as humiliate you?”

“You dare attempt fiendish actions against my noble self?!”

“Fu-fu-fu-fu,” the smug martial artist chuckled. “Clearly you need another beatdown. Always happy to help with that!”

Kuno reached down to pull up his hakama and retied the knot before taking a few practice swings with his bokken. “I will show you the righteous fury of the heavens!”

“I’m waiting.” Ranma let out a yawn. “This is getting tedious. And you’re disrupting the lesson for my class.”

“Then I shall end this charade!”

Kuno charged Ranma, intent on taking this upstart down several pegs. He slashed upwards, confident that he’d landed a knockout blow.

Turning, the kendoist gestured to the pigtailed martial artist with his right hand. “You have been defeated with this bokken.”

“This bokken?” Ranma asked, holding up the wooden sword. He appraised it by looking down its length. “I suppose it might be useful if you were fighting Dracula’s vampire hordes.”

“H-how did you…?”

“By not being a worthless blowhard,” the smug boy smiled infuriatingly. “Are we done here or do you need more humiliation?”

“But Kuno’s the best fighter in the school!” a voice from the assembled crowd called out in disbelief.

“Really? I’ve seen one-legged blind men kick more ass than him,” Ranma smirked. He rubbed his eyes. “Wait, I don’t see everyone here in wheelchairs… Is the standard of martial arts in Nerima really that low?”

“I don’t need my bokken to defeat you!” Kuno declared as he charged in to use his bare hands to put Ranma in his place.

In a serious of well practiced moves, Ranma had this bothersome sempai in a submission hold, forcing Kuno’s face into the dirt.

“Do you give up?”

“Never!” was the muffled reply.

“Ok, well, since I’m not the one who’s tasting dirt, I’ve got all day. Do let me know when you start to go numb.”

Kuno stopped struggling. “W-what sorcery is this?”

“I’ve blocked your chakras with my telekinesis,” Ranma mocked. “It’ll wear off in a short while, but for now, you’re going to find it difficult to move.”

The pigtailed martial artist released his opponent and stretched. “Now, I believe we were playing softball.”

“W-what about Kuno?” asked a student as he pointed at the stricken youth.

“He’ll be fine once he gets some blood flowing. Besides, it’s not like I set him on fire.”

“…”

Ranma rolled his eyes. “Obviously that was a joke. I don’t go around setting people on fire.”

“Y-yes, well, high spirited comments aside, let’s start our match, shall we?” the teacher asked, hoping that things were going to calm down now.


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These last two snippets have been reposted. It should help people read it since it's no longer just a scene at a time and the formatting should be better.

Maybe one day I'll have some idea what to write next for this one.