Some writing done after this morning's hostilities.
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Chapter 7
KeitaroÆs Mirror
ôWhat have I done?ö asked Keitaro. His wife dressed the following morning, pulling on various female things that require time and precision to adjust and fit. Despite being eight months pregnant she still had her rituals.
ôYou hurt people, Keitaro,ö she answered simply.
ôWas I always like this?ö he asked, aghast. He didnÆt remember being like this years before.
ôAlways being what? Since you moved into the Hinata Sou and became its manager? Or since you and Motoko slept together that first time and everything got crazy?ö she said bitterly.
ôI slept with her again. I canÆt control myself around her, Kitsune,ö he said quietly. She grimaced.
ôThese are not things a pregnant woman wants to hear, Keitaro. I donÆt have super powers to punch you out of the building and it would be bad for the baby if I tried. You always used to think about the consequences of your actions. ThatÆs the Keitaro I fell in love with. Who are you now? A man-whore,ö accused Kitsune.
ôKitsune, IÆm sorry.ö
ôDonÆt be sorry. Change! Damn you Keitaro! Stop muddling through the world like nothing is your fault. You slept with all our friends, you gave them children, and now IÆm surrounded by reminders of your infidelity everywhere I look.ö
ôAre you sorry you married me, Kitsune?ö he asked very quietly.
ôSometimes. Like now. It will pass, just like it always does. Doubt exists in every relationship. And IÆm a jealous woman thanks to Naru stealing every man I ever wanted, even you. You canÆt imagine what itÆs like, being abandoned like this, being betrayed.ö
ôYou mean like cheating me out of rent all those times, pranks meant to hurt my honor with our friends, and à it doesnÆt matter does it? I did choose you,ö he finally said.
ôDid you?ö she wept. ôYou still sleep with them.ö
ôWhat can we do? Leave? We tried that already. I have a responsibility. I canÆt run away from my life forever,ö he admitted.
ôWhen you cheat, it hurts me, Keitaro. Do you understand that?ö explained Kitsune, staring directly into his eyes.
ôThey love me, Kitsune. What is the right thing to do? IÆve already taken so much from them, ruined them for marriage, gave them illegitimate children, caused them to be shunned by Japanese society, abandoned by their families in some cases. If I donÆt act like a husband for them, at least some of the time, IÆm doing them a greater wrong.ö
ôAnd what about me!?ö demanded Kitsune.
ôI love you, Kitsune. IÆm here with you. I come home to you. You are my partner in life. You are my Promise Girl. You are my wife,ö he declared avidly, clenching his fists.
ôSo what are they?ö she asked, weeping.
ôIà I donÆt know.ö
ôDo you love them?ö she asked.
ôYes. IÆd be a terrible man if I didnÆt.ö
ôYou are a terrible man, Keitaro. You hurt me every single time,ö she reminded.
ôWhat can I do?ö he said, staring into the mirror at KitsuneÆs weeping face, blotchy with emotion, hands clutching her swollen belly.
ôMake love to her, properly. Woo her, make love to her, make her glad that she knows you!ö snarled Kitsune. ôYou have to fix this mess. Turn them into whole people. Make them strong enough to exist on their own. Maybe then they wonÆt come running every time they feel frightened of the world.ö
ôUhà what?ö said Keitaro confused. Kitsune grimaced as the baby kicked.
ôItÆs the only way to end this properly. Start with Naru. She needs you most. And Mutsumi wants another child. YouÆre going to have to give her one until sheÆs satisfied. ThatÆs whatÆs holding them all, running in place. This is your fault, and you have to fix it,ö she declared.
ôBut, Kitsuneà wonÆt that hurt you?ö he said, still confused.
ôYes. Terribly. But it will end when they stop needing you and can move on. You have to make them whole, Keitaro. Heal them and theyÆll move on, find a man for themselves, someone who will accept them as they are, children and all. ItÆs the only way,ö she insisted.
ôButàö
ôI wonÆt have a husband who looks at me with that face, Keitaro,ö she glared.
ôYou fix this right, you save them and make them whole or IÆll divorce you, for my own sanity and the children if nothing else. Do you understand me?ö she promised, eyes glowing with retribution if he failed. Keitaro had never seen her so angry or so serious.
ôHai, I swear to fix this or give up my claim on you, beloved Kitsune,ö he swore, bowing formally. There was a subtle tingle in the room and the sound of electric arcs playing on every surface. The world seemed to throb for a moment and then all was normal, though he felt the weight of his promise now.
Kitsune wept. Keitaro backed away on his knees and closed the door, meeting MayaÆs all-knowing eyes as she knelt facing him in the hallway. He resisted to urge to be startled by her appearance. SheÆd always been like this.
ôNow what should I do?ö muttered Keitaro.
ôSome will need your friendship. Some will need more. Some will suffer heartbreak,ö said Maya in the SeerÆs Voice. ôIt cannot be helped. Face your pain, face theirs.ö
ôHai, I will. Thank you, Maya-chan,ö he said, bowing to his little girl. She returned the formal bow, showing the weight of years she did not possess.
After the acrimony of his marriage bed, the smoky air of Hinata on a cold morning was a refreshing change. It was time to think, to decide on a way to help his friends, his lovers, the mothers of many of his childrenà let go of him. How to help them do that? Kitsune said they werenÆt whole people and that was why they clung to him. Hurting them deliberately to drive them away would make them into people like Naru, broken by his rough treatment of her, twice. Once in his beratement and breakup with her during his recovery, and again in their terrible sex encounter. Kitsune wanted him to heal her. She wasnÆt the only one who needed it. He wanted to talk to someone wise, someone who understood people better than he did.
ôBut this is my problem, my fault. I canÆt be a man if I canÆt resolve this.ö
There were few who could understand, much less sympathize with his predicament, or his effort to fix things humanely, with the respect and honor they deserve. Keitaro felt a tear fall down his cheek, touched it in shock.
ôIt all comes back to me, doesnÆt it?ö he finally said. He found himself at the base of the steps to the Hinata Inn, turned to stare up at it, thinking. Nodding, he climbed the stairs.
ôKeitaro?ö said Kanako, surprised at him turning up as she raked the fall leaves on the front walk.
ôSister, I need your help. Do you have time?ö
ôUhm, an hour or two, I guess. Its still early but IÆm expecting guests this afternoon.ö Kanako looked unsure of herself for the first time in years, frightened at the look in her brotherÆs eyes.
ôFine. LetÆs go to the baths. I need you with me,ö he demanded, feeling that cold part of himself rise. ôPlease, Kanako. This is hard for me.ö The icy part retreated for the moment.
ôUhhà okay,ö she said, dropping the rake and allowing herself to be lead into the changing room with her beloved brother, the man sheÆd been trying to bed and marry for years now. Be his. She was startled at his disrobing in front of her, and of his erection. She stopped, staring at it, and turned to regard his face, and the terrible look in his eyes.
ôOniichan, youÆre scaring me,ö she whispered.
ôTake off your clothes, Kanako. You wanted to be my wife, be my lover, have my child. Remember?ö he taunted coldly, despising himself for betraying her trust. It was too much. His erection wilted and he dropped onto the bench. Kanako sat opposite him.
ôI see. IÆm that bad?ö she said, understanding at last. Tears fell from her eyes and her face dropped in shame.
ôI didnÆt even touch you, like you do with me. It would have gotten worse if you hadnÆt understood. YouÆre a beautiful and courageous woman, Kanako. IÆm a married man whoÆs very much in love.ö
ôIÆm sorry Keitaro. IÆm sorry!ö she cried quietly.
ôIÆm sorry too, Kanako. Please donÆt hate me,ö he begged. They leaned into each other and held close, sniffling and crying, Keitaro naked, Kanako halfway there.
ôWe both need a bath,ö sniffed Keitaro.
ôYes, we do. Let me wash your back?ö asked Kanako.
ôSure, Sister. IÆll wash yours too.ö
Mutsumi found the siblings sitting in the baths, his arm around her sometime later, quietly reminiscing. She pondered the meaning of this scene and wondered if the inevitable had happened after all.
ôIÆd feel better about you if you found someone in your life, Kanako,ö said Keitaro.
Mutsumi gasped from the changing room. So it wasnÆt? How very interesting, she thought.
ôI donÆt feel ready for that. YouÆve been the center of my universe for so long, Oniichan. Its going to be hard for me to find someone I can love, and trust,ö she admitted.
ôTrue. YouÆre unusual. YouÆll have to decide for yourself what kind of man would satisfy you, and learn to trust him. No self defeating identity games.ö
ôYes, it would be tempting to test him. Are my standards too high?ö she asked, resting her head on his shoulder. Keitaro watched Mutsumi scrub herself and rinse, her luscious form arousing him. Must focus on Kanako. She needs me now, he reminded himself.
ôPossibly. Have you ever considered a relationship with someone other than me? IÆm not perfect and neither is anyone else. Can you accept flaws?ö he asked carefully.
ôI suppose I will have to,ö she sighed.
ôYou might talk to Haruka, as she could have some suggestions on what to look for,ö he offered. She tensed and pulled away.
ôOr I can try and help, for what itÆs worth,ö he finished. She relaxed again. Mutsumi wriggled into the bath and sighed happily. Kanako tensed again.
ôYouÆre not competitors, Sister,ö reminded Keitaro. Kanako sighed in defeat.
ôThis is going to take some adjustment, isnÆt it?ö asked the young woman. Keitaro patted her on the head cheerfully.
ôSure is!ö he teased.
Mutsumi simply observed, wondering just what had happened to change the way they treated each other. She kept asking herself if it was sexual or not, but something in the relationship was different.
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Note: this chapter will be longer than the others, as Keitaro needs to start healing wounds he caused, and face up to his actions from prior events. I hope this reads well and I can return his character to canon within reason. GH pointed out that I mistreated him with events between him and Naru and I agree it wasn't quite right.