TFF Waifu Fic Contest
- Thread starter seitora
- Start date
...Badly?
Well, there are only the two entries, so I guess I'll get the ball rolling and the guilt flowing on to my fellow judges and knock this out right now.
Theme 15/15
Seems to fit with the waifu idea as far as I can tell.
Language 14/15
I caught one typo running it through the spell check, and I didn't even notice it on the read through. (You used "and and" instead of "and an")
Style 20/20
Everything seems good and flows well. Nothign that seemed out of place
Story 24/30
Main reason I'm taking off point here is because of the disconnected nature of the story. I know it's style choice, but you gloss over a lot of potential scenes, especially the last fight they had. It seems like it comes out of the blue, and while you do mention there were factors involved, like keeping it secret from their daughter, I think you probably could have put in a scene or two where those factors manifested, instead of springing it right after they have a kid together. I'm curious why Bayonetta is interested in him, and while I know it wasn't the focus of the story, I would like to know about that.
Discretion 9/15 Not a fan of present tense, and not really familiar with Worm. Lost a few points from that, and the fact that I don't really get why Bayonetta would be interested in him. Maybe that's part of the waifu aspect. Not a fan of downer ending either, to be honest. Bittersweet endings are about as sad as I like them to go, and even then I don't particularly care for them.
Obscurity 5/5 Bayonetta only has 83 fics in it, and I think Worm is a web series and I doubt it has many fics, so full points here.
Total: 88/100
Well, there are only the two entries, so I guess I'll get the ball rolling and the guilt flowing on to my fellow judges and knock this out right now.
Theme 15/15
Seems to fit with the waifu idea as far as I can tell.
Language 14/15
I caught one typo running it through the spell check, and I didn't even notice it on the read through. (You used "and and" instead of "and an")
Style 20/20
Everything seems good and flows well. Nothign that seemed out of place
Story 24/30
Main reason I'm taking off point here is because of the disconnected nature of the story. I know it's style choice, but you gloss over a lot of potential scenes, especially the last fight they had. It seems like it comes out of the blue, and while you do mention there were factors involved, like keeping it secret from their daughter, I think you probably could have put in a scene or two where those factors manifested, instead of springing it right after they have a kid together. I'm curious why Bayonetta is interested in him, and while I know it wasn't the focus of the story, I would like to know about that.
Discretion 9/15 Not a fan of present tense, and not really familiar with Worm. Lost a few points from that, and the fact that I don't really get why Bayonetta would be interested in him. Maybe that's part of the waifu aspect. Not a fan of downer ending either, to be honest. Bittersweet endings are about as sad as I like them to go, and even then I don't particularly care for them.
Obscurity 5/5 Bayonetta only has 83 fics in it, and I think Worm is a web series and I doubt it has many fics, so full points here.
Total: 88/100
Alright, grant is up next.
Theme: 15/15
A love scene between a boy and a girl? Can't think of anything much more appropriate.
Language: 15/15
No spelling and grammar issues.
Style 20/20
Everything looks good. Seems like a scene that (magic spit aside) could have occurred in real life. Two young lovers going a bit out of control, and pulling back before it gets too out of hand.
Story 21/30
Short. Really short. Seems more like a snippet than a full story. Wish you had either expanded the scene a bit to make it longer, or added a few parts in addition to this core to flesh it out more and make it more involved. Feels like it should be a scene in a larger story than a story that should stand on its own. Giving it a C range grade seems appropriate for that, but again, I don't know the series at all, so I could be out of line for that. Maybe something this short is typical for the series, but I don't expect that to be the case...
Discretion: 8/15
As I said earlier, it was pretty short, and didn't really engage me much as a result. It was well written, but didn't really draw me in.
Obscurity: 5/5
Don't see it on FF.net, so full points I guess?
Total: 84/100
Theme: 15/15
A love scene between a boy and a girl? Can't think of anything much more appropriate.
Language: 15/15
No spelling and grammar issues.
Style 20/20
Everything looks good. Seems like a scene that (magic spit aside) could have occurred in real life. Two young lovers going a bit out of control, and pulling back before it gets too out of hand.
Story 21/30
Short. Really short. Seems more like a snippet than a full story. Wish you had either expanded the scene a bit to make it longer, or added a few parts in addition to this core to flesh it out more and make it more involved. Feels like it should be a scene in a larger story than a story that should stand on its own. Giving it a C range grade seems appropriate for that, but again, I don't know the series at all, so I could be out of line for that. Maybe something this short is typical for the series, but I don't expect that to be the case...
Discretion: 8/15
As I said earlier, it was pretty short, and didn't really engage me much as a result. It was well written, but didn't really draw me in.
Obscurity: 5/5
Don't see it on FF.net, so full points I guess?
Total: 84/100
Cool.
It wasn't supposed to be a downer ending though, kinda the opposite, since no Angels showed up after her funeral, unlike any of the other funerals or even the one in canon where she was believed to have died until she burst out of the coffin. So, kinda hinting that she's not all dead. It was supposed to be really subtle though, so I guess I succeeded?
The scene thing, yeah, I can see that there could have been I could have done, but I was late as it was and I intend to expand on some aspects in the main story.
Everything else sounds good to me. Thanks for taking the time out of RL to judge it.
It wasn't supposed to be a downer ending though, kinda the opposite, since no Angels showed up after her funeral, unlike any of the other funerals or even the one in canon where she was believed to have died until she burst out of the coffin. So, kinda hinting that she's not all dead. It was supposed to be really subtle though, so I guess I succeeded?
The scene thing, yeah, I can see that there could have been I could have done, but I was late as it was and I intend to expand on some aspects in the main story.
Everything else sounds good to me. Thanks for taking the time out of RL to judge it.
Alright, as a special Judging Round, we will evaluate seitora as a judge.
Punctuality:ZERO!
It's your contest! Judge things already!
Leadership:ZERO!!
You should probably start pestering the other judges to get their asses in gear as well!
Judging: ZERO!!!
You didn't judge anything! Do it!!!
Sorry, just wanted to have a bit of fun, since all of us seem to be in the same place.
Overall, I'm happy to see other people trying to run contests besides Watashiwa, and far less successfully, myself. I'm sorry it didn't have a better turnout, but that's something that can happen, especially when it's just starting out.
I'm not sure the obscurity scoring category was a good idea. While it encourages fics for smaller fandoms, it also makes it less accessible to the people who would read or judge them. Of the three fandoms in the contest, I only recognized one, and it's been awhile since I thought of it.
Well, hope you get around to your own judging soon, and hope things go better next time around! (Maybe have it in February next year?)
Punctuality:ZERO!
It's your contest! Judge things already!
Leadership:ZERO!!
You should probably start pestering the other judges to get their asses in gear as well!
Judging: ZERO!!!
You didn't judge anything! Do it!!!
Sorry, just wanted to have a bit of fun, since all of us seem to be in the same place.
Overall, I'm happy to see other people trying to run contests besides Watashiwa, and far less successfully, myself. I'm sorry it didn't have a better turnout, but that's something that can happen, especially when it's just starting out.
I'm not sure the obscurity scoring category was a good idea. While it encourages fics for smaller fandoms, it also makes it less accessible to the people who would read or judge them. Of the three fandoms in the contest, I only recognized one, and it's been awhile since I thought of it.
Well, hope you get around to your own judging soon, and hope things go better next time around! (Maybe have it in February next year?)
Waifu; A term coined by Otaku and Weeaboo alike for their 2D significant others; predominantly anime and video game characters. A Waifu, in contrast to a harem, is the love between one man and his one and only Waifu. You treat your Waifu with the utmost respect and courtesy and most refuse to even fap to their beloved, seeing the act as an insult to the non-existent woman they have committed themselves to.
Still have no idea how it's supposed to be applied in this context, or how an OT3 is supposed to count.
Still have no idea how it's supposed to be applied in this context, or how an OT3 is supposed to count.