Naruto The Monster Who Calls Himself Messiah

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#1
The afternoon sun blazed down on the black haired traveller as he stumbled along the road. His clothes where in tatters, stained with mud, water and blood. With unfocused black eyes he made his way forward, an unsheathed sword in his right hand, which the tip of dragged along the ground.

Behind him, devestation lay. The ground was pock marked and cratered, a nearby lake was drained and the ground around it was soaked with water. Patches of charred earth littered the area, and black fire burned in waves.

Uchiha Sasuke's eyes burned from straining his Sharingan to their limits, his head ached and his limbs burned like fire as he continued walking forward.

Just once, he glanced back to spot his still living opponant, a blond haired teen the same age as Sasuke. Naruto waved once, and then both continued on in opposite directions.

The sun was setting by the time Sasuke dragged himself into his home, a cold and dark artificial cave cut from the rock like a cuboid. At the far end was a bed and bedside table, or at least there was supposed to be.

Instead, Sasuke found nothing; there was absolutely no sign that the last Uchiha had been living in this cave for 5 weeks.

The teens eyes narrowed. Instinctively, the Uchiha suppressed his chakra and went on high alert, eyes scanning the the cave for any signs of ninja laying in ambush or traps waiting to snare him.

However, closer inspection revealed nothing. In fact, there was no sign that anybody had been in the cave for years, decades even. Dust coated the floor, undisturbed, the seals on the walls were still hidden the exact way way Sasuke had found them, and not the way Sasuke had concealed them.

Turning to the entrance of the cave and gazing at the crescent moon rising in the distance, Sasuke muttered the first words he'd said since greeting Naruto that morning.

"What is going on?"

----------------------------------

For the next 2 weeks, Sasuke travelled between coutries, visiting areas and land marks he knew had been damaged by the Fourth Ninja War, or would otherwise show signs of the fighting that took place there.

Abandoned weapons, scarred earth, trees; all signs that fighting would have taken place in that area semi-recently. However, the rogue ninja found nothing.

In the forests of the Land of Frost, there was nothing where there should have been gigantic gouges taken out of the foilage. In the desert of the Land of Lightning, the famous pillars of stone that reached up into the sky were whole and intact, and showed no signs that two Tsuchikage's had fought in the area. Finally, on the coast of Lightning country, there was no sign of the trees that had formed from Naruto annihilating the white Zetsus, nor was there any weaponry that would indicate Tenten had fought in the area.

Faced with the undeniable truth that something was wrong, Sasuke inwardly considered as many possiblities as possible.

'So, either I am being manipulated or there has been a drastic change in the enviroment. I am under a Genjutsu? No, I would be able to tell with these eyes. Has there been a drastic land restoration? No, too much, too soon. Besides, it wouldn't be worth it either tactically nor asthetically. Are there any other options?' the Uchiha asked himself. 'None come to mind; I'll have to enter a nearby town for more information. If that doesn't work, I'll need to infiltrate a ninja villiage.'

Just as the worlds number one criminal had affirmed his decision, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a familiar booming voice.

"Yo, hello!" Killer Bee jumped onto the beach from the top of the cliff, two equally black ninja following closlely behind, one man and one woman.

Almost lazily, Sasuke's hand went to rest on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw at a moments notice. Trying to look as relaxed as possible, even as he tensed himself in preparation to either fight or flee, Sasuke regarded the three Cloud ninja with cool indifference.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the red headed girl demanded, her own sword already drawn and pointing at him.

"Karui, calm down. There's no need to be hostile towards this clown," Killer Bee ryhmed, but stayed alert and ready to pounce anyway.

"But Bee-sensei, he could be a spy. But then again, he could be tourist. Oh, or he might be a visiting dignatary! Threatening him could be bad." the third member of the trio chimed in, rolling the lollipop in his mouth from one cheek to the other.

"So! Who are you and what are you doing here?" Karui demanded again.

"You don't recognize me?" Sasuke asked, the barest hint of surprise edging into his usually stoic voice.

"No! Should we?" the woman asked.

"Are you famous?" the lollipop man added in.

"Not even you, Bee?"

"I don't know you, foo'."

"I see. My name is Yuuki, and I'm a rather well known historian. I came here to study the landscape as I'd heard that battle took place here during the Ninja War. Do you know anything about that?"

"What are you talking about. The last battle that was fought here was during the First Ninja War, decades ago. You're not going to find anything out by studying the landspace," lollipop man pointed out.

"Don't believe him!" Karui shouted, bopping her teammate on the head. "What kind of historian carries a sword?"

"The kind that wants to protect themselves against bandits?" the lollipop man suggested.

"I kinda doubt that, Omoi."

"That is correct, ninja-san. I may have minimal training with the sword, but it is enough to dissuade most bandits. I much preferred to study history, which my traditionally samarai family... disapproved of," Sasuke stated, releasing the tight grip he'd held on his sword.

Omoi and Karui visibly relaxed, now that they knew wha they were dealing with.

"How long is this going to take?" Omoi asked.

"I'm done now. I've seen what I came to see, now I just need to return home to write my book."

"Where do you live?"

"I'm staying in Yugakure for the time being."

"Eh? Yugakure's almost a weeks travel for civilians."

"We'll be glad to be your escort, you that hot spring resort!" Bee boomed.

"You just want to go on vacation," Omoi deadpanned,

"Let's go let's go!" Karui agreed.

"I'm not carrying him," Omoi said, shrugging his shoulders in apparent agreement.

"If you try and make me do it, I'lljust hide," Bee laughed. "Karui, I guess it's up to you to give this guy a piggy back ride!"

"What, but Karui can't do it! She'll lose her balance and fall."

"Why would that happen!?" Karui snapped.

"Well, isn't that becuase you've got no weight on your chest to act as a counter-balance?"

"DIE!" the red head shouted, throwing a punch at her partner.

As Sasuke observed the interactions, he couldn't help but wonder why he ended up with Kumo's weirdest team, one that annoyingly reminded him of Team 7.

-----------------------

I'm going for Dark vs Dark here, and Sasuke is perfect for that role.

Truthfully I got the idea from posts in one of Raine's threads (I'm not going to tell you which one), and its sort of been building in my mind lately.
 

GiantMonkeyMan

Well-Known Member
#2
You might want to go over this again as there are a couple mistakes that you should be able to spot just by rereading. For example:

The afternoon sun blazed down on the black haired traveller as he stumbled along the road. His clothes where in tatters, stained with mud, water and blood. With unfocused black eyes he made his way forward, an unsheathed sword in his right hand, which the tip of dragged along the ground.
His clothes were in tatters; stained with mud, water and blood.

With unfocused black eyes, he made his way forward with an unsheathed sword in his right hand; its tip dragging along the ground.

I like the idea of a future Sasuke, with all his emo-craziness, being thrown back into the 'innocence' of the past. I don't like the interaction with Bee and crew as I felt it seemed a little stilted. Sasuke has a streak of dismissiveness that didn't show here, in my opinion, but that might just be differing interpretations of a character shining through.

I suggest you reread the passage through just to spot the more obvious of the mistakes and help with the smoothness of the piece.

:mmm:
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#3
Re-posting the above with some edits, then it carries on.
-----------

The afternoon sun blazed down on the black haired traveler as he stumbled along the road. His clothes where in tatters; stained with mud, water and blood. With unfocused black eyes, he made his way forward, an unsheathed sword in his right hand with the tip dragging along the ground.

Behind him, devastation lay. The ground was pock marked and cratered, a nearby lake was drained and the ground around it was soaked with water. Patches of charred earth littered the area, and black fire burned in droves.

Uchiha Sasuke's eyes burned from straining his Sharingan to their limits, his head ached and his limbs burned like fire as he continued walking forward.

Just once, he glanced back to spot his still living opponent, a blond haired teen the same age as Sasuke. Naruto waved once, and then both continued on in opposite directions.

æPsycho,Æ Sasuke couldnÆt help but think in response to the friendly goodbye.

The sun was setting by the time Sasuke dragged himself into his home, a cold and dark artificial cave cut from the rock like a cuboid. At the far end was a bed and bedside table, or at least there was supposed to be.

Instead, Sasuke found nothing; there was absolutely no sign that the last Uchiha had been living in this cave for 5 weeks.

The teenÆs eyes narrowed. Instinctively, the Uchiha suppressed his chakra and went on high alert, eyes scanning the cave for any signs of ninja laying in ambush or traps waiting to snare him.

However, closer inspection revealed nothing. In fact, there was no sign that anybody had been in the cave for years, decades even. Dust coated the floor, undisturbed, the seals on the walls were still hidden the exact way Sasuke had found them, and not the way Sasuke had concealed them.

Turning to the entrance of the cave and gazing at the crescent moon rising in the distance, Sasuke muttered the first words he'd said since greeting Naruto that morning.

"What is going on?"
-----
For the next 2 weeks, Sasuke travelled between countries, placing Genjutsu on officials in order to gain legal entry under the name Yuuki whenever he could, visiting areas and land marks he knew had been damaged by the Fourth Ninja War, or would otherwise show signs of the fighting that took place there.

He looked for abandoned weapons, scarred earth or felled trees; all signs that fighting would have taken place in that area semi-recently. However, the rogue ninja found nothing.

In the forests of the Land of Frost, there was nothing where there should have been gigantic gouges taken out of the foliage. In the desert of the Land of Lightning, the famous pillars of stone that reached up into the sky were whole and intact, and showed no signs that two Tsuchikage's had fought in the area. Finally, on the coast of Lightning country, there was no sign of the trees that had formed from Naruto annihilating the white Zetsus, nor was there any weaponry that would indicate Tenten had fought in the area.

Faced with the undeniable truth that something was wrong, Sasuke inwardly considered as many possibilities as possible.

'So, either I am being manipulated or there has been a drastic change in the environment. I am under a Genjutsu? No, I would be able to tell with these eyes. Has there been a drastic land restoration? No, too much, too soon. Besides, it wouldn't be worth it either tactically or aesthetically. Are there any other options?' the Uchiha asked himself. 'None come to mind; I'll have to enter a nearby town for more information. If that doesn't work, I'll need to infiltrate a ninja village.'

Just as the worldÆs number one criminal had affirmed his decision, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a familiar booming voice.

"Yo, hello!" Killer Bee jumped onto the beach from the top of the cliff, two equally black ninja following closely behind, one man and one woman.

Almost lazily, Sasuke's hand went to rest on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw at a momentÆs notice. Trying to look as relaxed as possible, even as he tensed himself in preparation to either fight or flee, Sasuke regarded the three Cloud ninja with cool indifference.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the red headed girl demanded, her own sword already drawn and pointing at him.

"Karui, calm down. There's no need to be hostile towards this clown," Killer Bee rhymed, but stayed alert and ready to pounce anyway.

"But Bee-sensei, he could be a spy. But then again, he could be tourist. Oh, or he might be a visiting dignitary! Threatening him could be bad." the third member of the trio chimed in, rolling the lollipop in his mouth from one cheek to the other.

"So! Who are you and what are you doing here?" Karui demanded again.

"You don't recognize me?" Sasuke asked, the barest hint of surprise edging into his usually stoic voice.

"No! Should we?" the woman asked.

"Are you famous?" the lollipop man added in.

"Not even you, Bee?"

"I don't know you, foo'."

"I see. My name is Yuuki, and I'm a rather well known historian. I came here to study the landscape as I'd heard that battle took place here during the Ninja War. Do you know anything about that?"

"What are you talking about? The last battle that was fought here was during the First Ninja War, decades ago. You're not going to find anything out by studying the landscape," lollipop man pointed out.

"I don't believe him!" Karui shouted, bopping her teammate on the head. "What kind of historian carries a sword?"

"The kind that wants to protect themselves against bandits?" the lollipop man suggested.

"I kinda doubt that, Omoi."

"He is correct, ninja-san. I may have minimal training with the sword, but it is enough to dissuade most bandits. I much preferred to study history, which my traditionally samurai family... disapproved of," Sasuke stated, releasing the tight grip he'd held on his sword.

"How long is this tour going to take? And do you have permission to be here?" Omoi asked.

"I wasnÆt aware I needed special permission to survey the coast in peace time. However, these are my papers,ö Sasuke stated, handing Omoi the official documents proving heÆd entered the country legally. Genjutsuing the ninja at the border had proved useful after all.

ôThese seem legit,ö Omoi stated after long moment spent examining them. ôBut IÆm afraid that IÆm going to ask you to leave the coast and confiscate any notes youÆve taken.ö

ôI have just barely arrived, and not yet taken any notes.ö Yuuki told them stiffly.

ôThatÆs good then; less work for us. Where are you staying?ö Karui asked.

"I'm staying in Yugakure for the time being."

"Eh? Yugakure's almost a weekÆs travel for civilians."

ôThis was a research trip for my book; I left all my other notes where IÆll be writing it, obviously.ö Sasuke sneered.

"We'll be glad to be your escort, to that hot spring resort!" Bee suddenly boomed.

"You just want to go on vacation," Omoi deadpanned, understanding his MasterÆs true intentions immediately.

"Let's go let's go!" Karui agreed.

"I'm not carrying him," Omoi said, shrugging his shoulders in apparent agreement.

"I'm not doing it." Bee laughed. "Karui, I guess it's up to you!"

"What, but Karui can't do it! She'll lose her balance and fall."

"Why would that happen!?" Karui snapped.

"Well, isn't that because you've got no weight on your chest to act as a counter-balance?"

"DIE!" the red head shouted, throwing a punch at her partner.

As Sasuke observed the interactions, couldn't help but wonder why he ended up with Kumo's weirdest team, one that annoyingly reminded him of Team 7.

------------- [New material starts here]

Several hours and one uncomfortable piggy back ride later, Sasuke found himself in front of a hotel with three Kumo ninja.

Peeking through the doors, Sasuke could see the interior of the hotel was all bright and inviting colours, though it came off as rather tasteful. To the right of the door was the reception area, where a pleasant looking woman of around 30 years old was standing, waiting to receive any guests. On the wall behind the girl, there was a board showing what rooms were available, and how much each one was.

He couldn't slip away without drawing suspicion onto himself, and frankly Sasuke was amazed his previous quickly cobbled together lie had worked at all.

That meant he had to stay and socialize with these people, at least until they were satisfied and left. Which meant that he had to Genjutsu the young woman behind the hotel counter into giving him a room, and into recognizing him as a longtime customer, all without any of the other ninja noticing anything unusual.

On the other hand, this was the perfect opportunity to get some intel on the current state of world affairs from ninja, instead of simple rumours from civilians.

And so, Sasuke stepped through the doors of the hotel and strode confidently to the counter. When the girl looked up to meet his eyes, Sasuke's Eternal Mangeky¶ Sharingan was already spinning, trapping the girl in a memory altering Genjutsu.

"Ah, Yuuki-san!" she enthusiastically greeted. "You're back ahead of schedule, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Just give me a moment," she said as she began to search through the draws of the counter until she found a key. Pulling it out, she handed it to him with a bow.

Taking it with a nod of his head, Sasuke stepped aside and allowed the Kumo team to step forward.

"We'd like two rooms please," Omoi said. "One for two people and one single."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there is only one room available."

"Huh? But that sign behind you says there are two?" Karui pointed out.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," the young woman bowed again when she turned to see her mistake. "I should have taken this down earlier," she said, grabbing one of the tiles stuck to the board and removing it.

"Tch, how annoying. Fine then, we'll take the last room for all three of us," Karui grumbled.

"Ah, is that alright?"

"It's fine, as long as someone respects my privacy" she glared at Omoi, who nodded nervously.

Once the business was done, both parties headed upstairs.
-------
As soon as Sasuke's door clicked closed, he began to unpack his meager belongings and attempt to make the room look lived in. Five minutes later, Sasuke was satisfied that at the very least it looked like someone had been staying there on and off for some time.

Once that was done, he headed down for the hot springs and to familiarize himself with the hotelÆs layout.
----
Next door in a near identical room, three Kumo ninja sat around a nearby table in order to think.

"So, you think this guy is legit, Bee-sensei?" Omoi asked

"His story seems to check out, although I'm still not too sure he was telling the truth," Karui said.

"Yeah, I feel the same. So far everything he said seems to be true, but I canÆt shake the feeling heÆs lying to us. On the other hand, I don't think he has any bad intentions towards us either."

"I third that thought, and think we ought, to find out what he sought. But with only tonight, we might be cutting it a little tight."

"So what, were just going to talk to Yuuki-san tonight and if we can't figure out what we're dealing with, weÆre just going to let it go?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Just making sure," Omoi rolled his eyes in sync with Karui. Sometime their master was hard to understand.

"Either way, we'll report him to big bro."

"That's probably the best idea. That guy is just way too suspicious." Karui grumbled.

--------

After his bath, Sasuke sat down to wait for the inevitable invitation to dinner. The last Uchiha didnÆt have to wait long; within five minutes, he was disturbed by a voice from the other side of the door.

ôExcuse us, Yuuki-san!ö Omoi called. ôWould you like to eat with us?ö

Opening the door and nodding his head in greeting, Sasuke replied. ôOf course.ö

A few minutes later, they were all seated around a table in the room the three Kumo ninja shared as they waited for the serving girls to bring up their meals.

ôSo, Yuuki-san, you said you were a historian. What subjects are you interested in?ö Karui was the one to break the silence.

ôIÆm most interested in the time when the current ninja system emerged. Particularly the clan wars that took place directly before the advent of ninja hidden villages and the inter-village wars that took place directly afterwards.ö

ôO-oh?ö Karui muttered weakly, already slightly lost.

ôAs I told you earlier, I was investigating the coast in order to gain a better understanding of the battle that took place there during the First Ninja War û between the Iwa and Kumo ninja. Both commanders displayed truly genius tactics in that battle. The way the First Raikage set up an incredibly complex electrical barrier and then proceeded to use it offensively is still thought of as the most brilliant move of all three Ninja Wars. But what truly astounds us historians is the way that Wakai-sama, the leader of the Iwa troops, responded by using water ninjutsu to manipulate the electrical flow in an attempt to turn their own barrier against him. And then-ö

ôYes, yes, fascinating!ö Omoi interrupted hurriedly as the food arrived.

ôIsnÆt it,ö Sasuke responded with as much interest as he could fake. Inwardly, he thought æThank you Iruka-sensei. For this your death will be swift and painless.Æ

ôErm, you said youÆre from a samurai family?ö Karui asked as the four began to eat.

ôCorrect. We donÆt get along, so IÆd rather not talk about them,ö Sasuke told them with a glare.

ôU-Understood.ö Karui shifted uncomfortably as her feeble attempt at subtle interrogation was slammed down before it could even begin.

ôMore please?ö Bee requested as he placed his rice bowl down with a clack, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was just beginning to form.

ôYeah, sure,ö Omoi served up another bowl of rice.

ôSo, kid; where you from?ö Bee asked, shoveling food in as he spoke.

ôThe Land of Fire, in a small southern village called Toki.ö

ôThatÆs quite far away.ö

ôYes, it is.

ôWhat, thatÆs all you gotta say?ö Bee rapped, rhyming with his earlier comment.

ôHn.ö

Omoi and Karui both sighed in unison; this was going even worse than theyÆd imagined.

ôYou must have friends you miss, or maybe a girl you wanna kiss?ö

ôFriends? Only one person still considers me a friendà I donÆt miss anyone of them,ö Sasuke scowled. ôBut I have been away from civilization for quite some time. WhatÆs going on in the Land of Fire?ö

ôWeÆve heard about some unrest in Konoha, buts thatÆs about it. Nothing from too far south.ö

ôWhatÆs happening in Konoha?ö Sasuke asked.

By now, theyÆd all finished their food, and were simply talking.

ôWeÆll, we peons donÆt know much, but apparently thereÆs been quite a bit of civil unrest for the last 4 months. ItÆs something to do with a new clan; weÆve heard stories that heÆs some kind of genius, butàö

ôThe guyÆs obviously sick in the head, cause every time he makes sure to kill them stone dead,ö Bee told him.

ôYeah, a real crazy from what weÆve heard. A massive God complex too. IÆve heard he ripped apart the Konoha ninja who were supposed to keep an eye on him, and then started laughing about it. IÆm not surprised that people were sent to watch him,ö Karui began to rant, her hands gesturing wildly every other word.

ôBut hereÆs the weird thing. A lot of people seem to think this kind of thing is acceptable. Raikage-sama actually complimented him on the way he challenged his dissenters with a demonstration of his abilities. IÆd like to know why he had to show off.ö

ôOmoi, you idiot! DonÆt talk about the RaikageÆs opinions!ö Karui shouted, slapping the back of OmoiÆs head as she did so.

ôSorry,ö Omoi sulked.

ôIs that really happening in Konoha?ö

ôYeah. Horrible, isnÆt it?ö

ôNot really. If Konoha wants to tear itself apart, then so be it.ö Sasuke said, his back straight as an iron rod and his hands fisted on his knees.

ôIÆm getting tired,ö Bee yawned, stretching.

ôSo am I,ö Sasuke agreed, standing up to leave.

Omoi and Karui both twitched, already moving to try and stop him, but a single glance at Bee made them freeze in their tracks; it was obvious from his body language that their teacher was telling them to let him go.

After the doo had shut and Sasuke was gone, Karui asked ôWas it really alright to let him go?ö

ôSure was; we werenÆt gonna get anymore outta him.ö

ôIf you say so, Bee-sama,ö Omoi reluctantly agreed.

--------------------------

The morning after, Sasuke met the Kumo trio at the doors to the inn; they had to leave in order to get back to their patrol.

ôThank you for the escort and the meal,ö Sasuke said.

ôIt was no problem,ö Omoi shrugged.

ôSays you, I was the one that had to carry him,ö sneered Karui.

ôNice meeting you Yuuki,ö Bee said, holding out his fist.

Sasuke hesitated, but when Bee impatiently rocked his fist, Sasuke bumped fists with the man.

ôStay tight, Yuuki,ö Bee said before turning away and vanishing from sight.

ôSee ya,ö Omoi nodded and he too disappeared.

ôGood luck with that book or whatever,ö Karui too said her goodbyes before using Shunshin to catch up to her teammates.

When she caught up to them moments later, she couldnÆt help but question her mentor once again. ôSo that guy really was legit then?ö

ôHeÆs been lying through his teeth like some kind of thief!ö Bee told her.

ôAnd weÆre letting him go? What if heÆs some kind of spy or something?ö

ôNope; heÆs from Konoha, but hates it. HeÆs a missing-nin.ö Bee declared.

ôAnd itÆs not our job to catch Konoha missing nin.ö Karui verbalized the unspoken thought.

ôFrom bumping fists I could tell he meant us no harm, so itÆs easier to just let him go.ö

ôUnderstood, Bee-sama,ö Omoi chimed in, before changing the conversation.

æThat kid was one angry human,Æ Hachibi rumbled in the back of BeeÆs head.

æI just hope he learns how to cope, before someone forces his head through a knotted rope.Æ


Sasuke needed more information. What heÆd managed to get out of the Kumo ninja was good, but he needed more details in order to figure out how to turn it to his advantage.

In short, he had to go back to the Land of Fire, the nearer Konoha the better. That would be difficult, considering his current status as the most wanted missing nin. Well, if Killer BeeÆs reaction was anything to go by, maybe it wouldnÆt be so bad.
 

Leonite

Well-Known Member
#4
Famous last words if there were ever any, huh?

Also, just to check, is this universe supposed to be post timeskip, or pre-timeskip? I assume the latter due to the subject... but I would like to know.
 

Obfuscated

Well-Known Member
#5
What exactly happened ?

A Mary Su arrived and twisted time in the process ?
One of the more outrageous Naruto expies did (*cough*CED*cough*) ?
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#6
@ Leonite - It's Post-Time skip Sasuke from an AU where Naruto + co have won the war, but Sasuke still remains rogue. The two often clash, but to Sasuke's frustration it turns out Naruto was right. He can't get a killing blow without receiving one in turn.

Sasuke's found himself Pre-Time Skip in Bizzaro World.

@ Obfuscated - CED!Naruto? *cough* What ever gave you the idea that this is an expy of CED!Naruto, NCM!Naruto and other God!Naruto's that end up as complete monsters that slowly take over their village through massive faviouritism, bloodline theft, and an overall lack of morals which everyone elses praises? :ph43r:

Perish the thought.
 

Leonite

Well-Known Member
#7
Ok, this should be fun, even an expy of CED!Naruto should stand no chance against a EMS Sasuke. Sasunoo and all that jazz, not to mention Ameterasu mastery and Sasunoo.
 

lotri

Well-Known Member
#8
Ashaman said:
Re-posting the above with some edits, then it carries on.
-----------

The afternoon sun blazed down on the black haired traveler as he stumbled along the road.? His clothes were in tatters; stained with mud, water and blood.? With unfocused black eyes, he made his way forward, an unsheathed sword in his right hand with the tip dragging along the ground.

Behind him, devastation lay.? The ground was pock marked and cratered, a nearby lake was drained and the ground around it was soaked with water.? Patches of charred earth littered the area, and black fire burned in droves.

Uchiha Sasuke's eyes burned from straining his Sharingan to its limits, his head ached and his limbs burned like fire as he continued walking forward.

Just once, he glanced back to spot his still living opponent, a blond haired teen the same age as Sasuke.? Naruto waved once, and then both continued on in opposite directions.

æPsycho,Æ Sasuke couldnÆt help but think in response to the friendly goodbye.

The sun was setting by the time Sasuke dragged himself into his home, a cold and dark artificial cave cut from the rock like a cuboid.? At the far end were a bed and bedside table, or at least there were supposed to be.

Instead, Sasuke found nothing; there was absolutely no sign that the last Uchiha had been living in this cave for 5 weeks.?

The teenÆs eyes narrowed.? Instinctively, the Uchiha suppressed his chakra and went on high alert, eyes scanning the cave for any signs of ninja lying in ambush or traps waiting to snare him.

However, closer inspection revealed nothing.? In fact, there was no sign that anybody had been in the cave for years, decades even.? Dust coated the floor, undisturbed; the seals on the walls were still hidden the exact way Sasuke had found them, and not the way Sasuke had concealed them.

Turning to the entrance of the cave and gazing at the crescent moon rising in the distance, Sasuke muttered the first words he'd said since greeting Naruto that morning.

"What is going on?"
-----
For the next 2 weeks, Sasuke traveled between countries, placing Genjutsu on officials in order to gain legal entry under the name Yuuki whenever he could, visiting areas and landmarks he knew had been damaged by the Fourth Ninja War, or would otherwise show signs of the fighting that took place there.

He looked for abandoned weapons, scarred earth or felled trees; any signs that fighting had taken place in that area semi-recently.? However, the rogue ninja found nothing.

In the forests of the Land of Frost, there was nothing where gigantic gouges should have been taken out of the foliage.? In the desert of the Land of Lightning, the famous pillars of stone that reached up into the sky were whole and intact, and showed no signs that two Tsuchikage's had fought in the area.? Finally, on the coast of Lightning country, there was no sign of the trees that had formed from Naruto annihilating the white Zetsus, nor was there any weaponry that would indicate Tenten had fought in the area.

Faced with the undeniable truth that something was wrong, Sasuke inwardly considered the possibilities.

'So, either I am being manipulated or there has been a drastic change in the environment.? Am I under a Genjutsu?? No, I would be able to tell with these eyes.? Has there been a drastic land restoration?? No, too much, too soon.? Besides, it wouldn't be worth it either tactically or aesthetically.? Are there any other options?' the Uchiha asked himself.? 'None come to mind; I'll have to enter a nearby town for more information.? If that doesn't work, I'll need to infiltrate a ninja village.'

Just as the worldÆs number one criminal had affirmed his decision, he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a familiar booming voice.

"Yo, hello!" Killer Bee jumped onto the beach from the top of the cliff, two equally black ninja following closely behind, one man and one woman.

Almost lazily, Sasuke's hand went to rest on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw at a momentÆs notice.? Trying to look as relaxed as possible, even as he tensed himself in preparation to either fight or flee, Sasuke regarded the three Cloud ninja with cool indifference.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the red headed girl demanded, her own sword already drawn and pointing at him.

"Karui, calm down.? There's no need to be hostile towards this clown," Killer Bee rhymed, but stayed alert and ready to pounce anyway.

"But Bee-sensei, he could be a spy.? But then again, he could be tourist.? Oh, or he might be a visiting dignitary!? Threatening him could be bad." the third member of the trio chimed in, rolling the lollipop in his mouth from one cheek to the other.?

"So!? Who are you and what are you doing here?" Karui demanded again.

"You don't recognize me?" Sasuke asked, the barest hint of surprise edging into his usually stoic voice.

"No!? Should we?" the woman asked.

"Are you famous?" the lollipop man added in.

"Not even you, Bee?"

"I don't know you, foo'."

"I see.? My name is Yuuki, and I'm a rather well known historian.? I came here to study the landscape as I'd heard that a battle took place here during the Ninja War.? Do you know anything about that?"

"What are you talking about?? The last battle that was fought here was during the First Ninja War, decades ago.? You're not going to find anything out by studying the landscape," lollipop man pointed out.

"I don't believe him!" Karui shouted, bopping her teammate on the head.? "What kind of historian carries a sword?"

"The kind that wants to protect themselves against bandits?" the lollipop man suggested.

"I kinda doubt that, Omoi."

"He is correct, ninja-san.? I may have minimal training with the sword, but it is enough to dissuade most bandits.? I much preferred to study history, which my traditionally samurai family... disapproved of," Sasuke stated, releasing the tight grip he'd held on his sword.

"How long is this tour going to take?? And do you have permission to be here?" Omoi asked.

"I wasnÆt aware I needed special permission to survey the coast in peace time.? However, these are my papers,ö Sasuke stated, handing Omoi the official documents proving heÆd entered the country legally.? Genjutsuing the ninja at the border had proved useful after all.

ôThese seem legit,ö Omoi stated after a long moment spent examining them.? ôBut IÆm afraid that IÆm going to ask you to leave the coast and confiscate any notes youÆve taken.ö

ôI have just barely arrived, and not yet taken any notes.ö Yuuki told them stiffly.

ôThatÆs good then; less work for us.? Where are you staying?ö Karui asked.

"I'm staying in Yugakure for the time being."

"Eh?? Yugakure's almost a weekÆs travel for civilians."

ôThis was a research trip for my book; I left all my other notes where IÆll be writing it, obviously.ö Sasuke sneered.

"We'll be glad to be your escort, to that hot spring resort!" Bee suddenly boomed.

"You just want to go on vacation," Omoi deadpanned, understanding his MasterÆs true intentions immediately.

"Let's go let's go!" Karui agreed.

"I'm not carrying him," Omoi said, shrugging his shoulders in apparent agreement.

"I'm not doing it." Bee laughed.? "Karui, I guess it's up to you!"

"What, but Karui can't do it!? She'll lose her balance and fall."

"Why would that happen!?" Karui snapped.

"Well, isn't that because you've got no weight on your chest to act as a counter-balance?"

"DIE!" the red head shouted, throwing a punch at her partner.

As Sasuke observed the interactions, couldn't help but wonder why he ended up with Kumo's weirdest team, one that annoyingly reminded him of Team 7.

------------- [New material starts here]

Several hours and one uncomfortable piggy back ride later, Sasuke found himself in front of a hotel with three Kumo ninja.

Peeking through the doors, Sasuke could see the interior of the hotel was all bright and inviting colours, though it came off as rather tasteful.? To the right of the door was the reception area, where a pleasant looking woman of around 30 years old was standing, waiting to receive any guests.? On the wall behind the girl, there was a board showing what rooms were available, and how much each one was.

He couldn't slip away without drawing suspicion onto himself, and frankly Sasuke was amazed his previous quickly cobbled together lie had worked at all.

That meant he had to stay and socialize with these people, at least until they were satisfied and left.? Which meant that he had to Genjutsu the young woman behind the hotel counter into giving him a room, and into recognizing him as a longtime customer, all without any of the other ninja noticing anything unusual.

On the other hand, this was the perfect opportunity to get some intel on the current state of world affairs from ninja, instead of simple rumours from civilians.

And so, Sasuke stepped through the doors of the hotel and strode confidently to the counter.? When the girl looked up to meet his eyes, Sasuke's Eternal Mangeky¶ Sharingan was already spinning, trapping the girl in a memory altering Genjutsu.

"Ah, Yuuki-san!" she enthusiastically greeted.? "You're back ahead of schedule, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Just give me a moment," she said as she began to search through the drawers of the counter until she found a key.? Pulling it out, she handed it to him with a bow.

Taking it with a nod of his head, Sasuke stepped aside and allowed the Kumo team to step forward.

"We'd like two rooms please," Omoi said.? "One for two people and one single."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there is only one room available."

"Huh?? But that sign behind you says there are two?" Karui pointed out.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," the young woman bowed again when she turned to see her mistake.? "I should have taken this down earlier," she said, grabbing one of the tiles stuck to the board and removing it.?

"Tch, how annoying.? Fine then, we'll take the last room for all three of us," Karui grumbled.

"Ah, is that alright?"

"It's fine, as long as someone respects my privacy" she glared at Omoi, who nodded nervously.

Once the business was done, both parties headed upstairs.
-------
As soon as Sasuke's door clicked closed, he began to unpack his meager belongings and attempt to make the room look lived in.? Five minutes later, Sasuke was satisfied that - at the very least - it looked like someone had been staying there on and off for some time.

Once that was done, he headed down for the hot springs and to familiarize himself with the hotelÆs layout.
----
Next door in a near identical room, three Kumo ninja sat around a nearby table in order to think.

"So, you think this guy is legit, Bee-sensei?" Omoi asked

"His story seems to check out, although I'm still not too sure he was telling the truth," Karui said.

"Yeah, I feel the same.? So far everything he said seems to be true, but I canÆt shake the feeling heÆs lying to us.? On the other hand, I don't think he has any bad intentions towards us either."

"I third that thought, and think we ought, to find out what he sought.? But with only tonight, we might be cutting it a little tight."

"So what, we're just going to talk to Yuuki-san tonight and if we can't figure out what we're dealing with, weÆre just going to let it go?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Just making sure," Omoi rolled his eyes in sync with Karui.? Sometime their master was hard to understand.

"Either way, we'll report him to big bro."

"That's probably the best idea.? That guy is just way too suspicious." Karui grumbled.

--------

After his bath, Sasuke sat down to wait for the inevitable invitation to dinner.? The last Uchiha didnÆt have to wait long; within five minutes, he was disturbed by a voice from the other side of the door.

ôExcuse us, Yuuki-san!ö Omoi called.? ôWould you like to eat with us?ö

Opening the door and nodding his head in greeting, Sasuke replied.? ôOf course.ö

A few minutes later, they were all seated around a table in the room the three Kumo ninja shared as they waited for the serving girls to bring up their meals.?

ôSo, Yuuki-san, you said you were a historian.? What subjects are you interested in?ö Karui was the one to break the silence.

ôIÆm most interested in the time when the current ninja system emerged.? Particularly the clan wars that took place directly before the advent of ninja hidden villages and the inter-village wars that took place directly afterwards.ö

ôO-oh?ö Karui muttered weakly, already slightly lost.

ôAs I told you earlier, I was investigating the coast in order to gain a better understanding of the battle that took place there during the First Ninja War û between the Iwa and Kumo ninja.? Both commanders displayed truly genius tactics in that battle.? The way the First Raikage set up an incredibly complex electrical barrier and then proceeded to use it offensively is still thought of as the most brilliant move of all three Ninja Wars.? But what truly astounds us historians is the way that Wakai-sama, the leader of the Iwa troops, responded by using water ninjutsu to manipulate the electrical flow in an attempt to turn their own barrier against him.? And then-ö

ôYes, yes, fascinating!ö Omoi interrupted hurriedly as the food arrived.

ôIsnÆt it,ö Sasuke responded with as much interest as he could fake.? Inwardly, he thought æThank you Iruka-sensei.? For this your death will be swift and painless.Æ

ôErm, you said youÆre from a samurai family?ö Karui asked as the four began to eat.

ôCorrect.? We donÆt get along, so IÆd rather not talk about them,ö Sasuke told them with a glare.

ôU-Understood.ö Karui shifted uncomfortably as her feeble attempt at subtle interrogation was slammed down before it could even begin.

ôMore please?ö Bee requested as he placed his rice bowl down with a clack, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was just beginning to form.

ôYeah, sure,ö Omoi served up another bowl of rice.

ôSo, kid; where you from?ö Bee asked, shoveling food in as he spoke.

ôThe Land of Fire, in a small southern village called Toki.ö

ôThatÆs quite far away.ö?

ôYes, it is.

ôWhat, thatÆs all you gotta say?ö Bee rapped, rhyming with his earlier comment.

ôHn.ö

Omoi and Karui both sighed in unison; this was going even worse than theyÆd imagined.

ôYou must have friends you miss, or maybe a girl you wanna kiss?ö

ôFriends?? Only one person still considers me a friendà? I donÆt miss any of them,ö Sasuke scowled.? ôBut I have been away from civilization for quite some time.? WhatÆs going on in the Land of Fire?ö

ôWeÆve heard about some unrest in Konoha, but thatÆs about it.? Nothing from too far south.ö

ôWhatÆs happening in Konoha?ö Sasuke asked.

By now, theyÆd all finished their food and were simply talking.

ôWell, we peons donÆt know much, but apparently thereÆs been quite a bit of civil unrest for the last 4 months.? It has something to do with a new clan; weÆve heard stories that heÆs some kind of genius, butàö

ôThe guyÆs obviously sick in the head, 'cause every time he makes sure to kill them stone dead,ö Bee told him.

ôYeah, a real crazy from what weÆve heard.? A massive God complex too.? IÆve heard he ripped apart the Konoha ninja who were supposed to keep an eye on him, and then started laughing about it.? IÆm not surprised that people were sent to watch him,ö Karui began to rant, her hands gesturing wildly every other word.

ôBut hereÆs the weird thing.? A lot of people seem to think this kind of thing is acceptable.? Raikage-sama actually complimented him on the way he challenged his dissenters with a demonstration of his abilities.? IÆd like to know why he had to show off.ö

ôOmoi, you idiot!? DonÆt talk about the RaikageÆs opinions!ö Karui shouted, slapping the back of OmoiÆs head as she did so.

ôSorry,ö Omoi sulked.

ôIs that really happening in Konoha?ö

ôYeah.? Horrible, isnÆt it?ö

ôNot really.? If Konoha wants to tear itself apart, then so be it.ö Sasuke said, his back straight as an iron rod and his hands fisted on his knees.

ôIÆm getting tired,ö Bee yawned, stretching.

ôSo am I,ö Sasuke agreed, standing up to leave.?

Omoi and Karui both twitched, already moving to try and stop him, but a single glance at Bee made them freeze in their tracks; it was obvious from his body language that their teacher was telling them to let him go.

After the door had shut and Sasuke was gone, Karui asked ôWas it really alright to let him go?ö

ôSure was; we werenÆt gonna get anymore outta him.ö

ôIf you say so, Bee-sama,ö Omoi reluctantly agreed.

--------------------------

The morning after, Sasuke met the Kumo trio at the doors to the inn; they had to leave in order to get back to their patrol.?

ôThank you for the escort and the meal,ö Sasuke said.

ôIt was no problem,ö Omoi shrugged.

ôSays you. I was the one who had to carry him,ö sneered Karui.

ôNice meeting you Yuuki,ö Bee said, holding out his fist.

Sasuke hesitated, but when Bee impatiently rocked his fist, Sasuke bumped fists with the man.

ôStay tight, Yuuki,ö Bee said before turning away and vanishing from sight.

ôSee ya,ö Omoi nodded and he too disappeared.

ôGood luck with that book or whatever,ö Karui said her goodbyes before using Shunshin to catch up to her teammates.

When she caught up to them moments later, she couldnÆt help but question her mentor once again.? ôSo that guy really was legit then?ö

ôHeÆs been lying through his teeth like some kind of thief!ö Bee told her.

ôAnd weÆre letting him go?? What if heÆs some kind of spy or something?ö

ôNope; heÆs from Konoha, but hates it.? HeÆs a missing-nin.ö Bee declared.

ôAnd itÆs not our job to catch Konoha missing nin.ö Karui verbalized the unspoken thought.

ôFrom bumping fists I could tell he meant us no harm, so itÆs easier to just let him go.ö

ôUnderstood, Bee-sama,ö Omoi chimed in, before changing the conversation.

æThat kid was one angry human,Æ Hachibi rumbled in the back of BeeÆs head.

æI just hope he learns how to cope, before someone forces his head through a knotted rope.Æ


Sasuke needed more information.? What heÆd managed to get out of the Kumo ninja was good, but he needed more details in order to figure out how to turn it to his advantage.

In short, he had to go back to the Land of Fire, the nearer Konoha the better.? That would be difficult, considering his current status as the most wanted missing nin.? Well, if Killer BeeÆs reaction was anything to go by, maybe it wouldnÆt be so bad.
Some minor spelling/grammar fixes/suggestions.
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#10
Three weeks. Twenty one days. Five hundred and four hours.

This was SasukeÆs limit in dealing with people.

The pale ninja had arrived in a small town as close to Konoha as possible three weeks ago, and had spent the entire time listening to inane gossip and outlandish rumours, all in an effort to figure out what was happening in Konoha.

And after those days; with all the girls flirting at him; all the guys being glaring at him; all the old men staring at him suspiciously; all the old women trying to set him up with their daughters or granddaughters; and all the middle-aged women trying to be all motherly towards him; Sasuke was about to break and slaughter them all.

After being forced to socialize in order to get the information he wanted, Sasuke lay down on his bed in the small inn to rest and take a break from the uncomfortable activity.

Halfway between wakefulness and sleep, a familiar voice snapped Sasuke into full consciousness.

ôI donÆt want to share a room!ö the voice of a pre-teen girl shrieked.

ôIno, be quiet. We donÆt want to disturb the neighbors,ö another, much less familiar voice lightly scolded the girl.

æToo lateÆ, Sasuke thought ruefully as he palmed a kunai and began to pick a hole into the apparently paper thin walls.

ôBut sensei,ö Ino whined.

ôBut nothing Ino. This small village only has one inn and two rooms, and one is already taken. Unless you want to sleep outsideàö

ôThat might not be such a bad idea,ö Ino mused.

ôWhy do you have to make such a big deal out of this?ö another familiar voice drawled. Shikamaru, Sasuke identified.

ôBecause itÆs immoral for us to share a room!ö

ôWhy, whatÆs going to happen?ö a fourth voice asked, this one just as well known to Sasuke as the others. Choji, Sasuke quite clearly recalled. That meant it was all of Team 10, or whatever name they were going under now.

ôNothing!ö Ino spluttered.

ôThen thereÆs no problem, right?ö Shikamaru asked, just as SasukeÆs kunai finally broke through to the other side of the wall silently.

Through the small hole, Sasuke could see Ino silently open and close her mouth as she tried to come up with a proper response to that.

ôI donÆt see what the big deal is; youÆve all slept under the stars together, havenÆt you? ItÆs not as though youÆre going to be sleeping in the same bad as us either. So bear with it tonight, okay?ö

ôYes sensei,ö Ino acquiesced, her head down in silent defeat.

Adjusting his position, Sasuke tried to get a better look through the hole. In doing so, he confirmed his earlier suspicion.

All three of his former classmates were younger than they should be. Each one was about 12 years old, instead of the 17 like they were when he last saw them.

Without even realizing it, Sasuke began to smirk. This meant that he could enter Konoha himself and watch it implode from within.

But that didnÆt mean he would waste this opportunity to observe the, and Sasuke couldnÆt help but smile in dark amusement at this, genin team and see if he could learn anything about the difference between this Konoha and his own.
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#11
Leonite said:
Ok, this should be fun, even an expy of CED!Naruto should stand no chance against a EMS Sasuke. Sasunoo and all that jazz, not to mention Ameterasu mastery and Sasunoo.
Its not just CED!Naruto though. Its a God-Mode Naruto with CED!Naruto and Chaos Mage Naruto as the personality base.

Expect a genius tactician who seems to have read the original Naruto script, Kyuubi!Naruto with speed and power to match, hundreds of jutsu mastered, dozens of bloodline limits (including EMS, Byakugan and Wood release) and a horde of similarly powered up harem members.

But also expect the weakness that come with that, including arrogance most high and massive amounts of showing off.

Basically, its not going to be an easy battle for Sasuke - its going to be bloody carnage.

To put this into perspective, when Sasuke finally begins the fight, his opening move is going to be Kirin, and he's going to go from there.

@lotri - Thanks for that.
 
#12
Are we talking CED/CM KyuubiNaruto or are we talking Canon's Walking Nuke who can move so fast he may as well be teleporting KyuubiNaruto? Cause I don't recall either of them being able to do the stuff current Naruto is doing. Which if I'm right is a very good thing.

Has anyone else noticed when it comes to God Mode Sue Naruto fics it seems Fanon goes for a Quantity over Quality approach when it comes to Naruto's skill set? They give him loads of Jutsu/bloodlines and make him "smater" so he'll be more cunning like a "real ninja".

Canon has gone for Quality over Quantity. Kage Bushin, Toad Summoning, Rasengan-and it's many variations, Sage Mode, Kyuubi Chakra Mode. Unless I missed something these are Naruto's main techniques. He has few techniques, but they are powerful ones. Tactics wise Naruto is a lot more cunning then Fanon gives him credit for. One of his most common strategies is the simple but effective Kage Bushin Switcheroo-it lets him live up to being unpredictable you never know where the real Naruto is.
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#13
I was thinking more along the lines of the Tailed Beast Mode - Version 2 - Like Tobi was using against Bee and Naruto before he went full scale.

Yeah, I have noticed. Its actually sort of funny - because he has so many choices, he doesn't have to think as hard. But figuring out how to get out of a tight spot with limited jutsu - that takes actual thought. And you know, might just create a sense of tension that you invariably end up lacking in God Mode Sue stories.

One of the things that I've noticed in the manga is that knowing an enemies technique is the key to beating him - Hidan, Pain, Deidara, Tobi. I can't remember if they literally told us (I think they did) or its just a major theme, but its true for just about everyone.

Naruto is different. Even if you know his jutsu - Kage bunshin - you never know how the fuck he's going to use it. And he keeps using it in loads of different ways too, so just looking at how he's used it in the past is pretty useless.
 

Bill Felix

Well-Known Member
#14
Chaotic Symbolism said:
Has anyone else noticed when it comes to God Mode Sue Naruto fics it seems Fanon goes for a Quantity over Quality approach when it comes to Naruto's skill set? They give him loads of Jutsu/bloodlines and make him "smater" so he'll be more cunning like a "real ninja".

Canon has gone for Quality over Quantity. Kage Bushin, Toad Summoning, Rasengan-and it's many variations, Sage Mode, Kyuubi Chakra Mode. Unless I missed something these are Naruto's main techniques. He has few techniques, but they are powerful ones. Tactics wise Naruto is a lot more cunning then Fanon gives him credit for. One of his most common strategies is the simple but effective Kage Bushin Switcheroo-it lets him live up to being unpredictable you never know where the real Naruto is.
Because the people who write God Mode Sue Naruto fics are stupid. They don't utilize quantity over quality for any good reason, they do it so their version of Naruto can simply have things.

The sad fact of the matter is that despite all of things that they give him, he rarely uses any of it in the story and if he does, the attacks don't really accomplish anything important. He just sort of has it because the author thinks that it's cool and Naruto is the only one allowed to be cool AT ALL in God Mode Sue Naruto fics... until the shitty author gets really bored and starts making insanely overpowered OC villains with broken powers.

Like, there's this retarded fight in that Black Flames Dance in the Wind story (or whatever that horrible shit is called) where Naruto and evil!Kushina (or maybe it's evil!Naruto vs evil!Kushina) have a fight where Naruto uses like 9 elemental dragon attacks on her at once and she somehow survives and the fight continues.


@Ashaman: I wholeheartedly approve of this story and look forward to more.

I don't know if this is going to be a canon version of the world with a God!Naruto in it or if it's going to be a God! Naruto world with a canon Sasuke in it. If the latter is the case, Naruto really needs a poorly characterized, overpowered, warrior/magic/demon girl OC that serves him and insults the shit out of everyone that doesn't like Naruto (read: everyone).

Looking forward to more.
 

jyusan

Well-Known Member
#15
Bill Felix said:
@Ashaman: I wholeheartedly approve of this story and look forward to more.

I don't know if this is going to be a canon version of the world with a God!Naruto in it or if it's going to be a God! Naruto world with a canon Sasuke in it. If the latter is the case, Naruto really needs a poorly characterized, overpowered, warrior/magic/demon girl OC that serves him and insults the shit out of everyone that doesn't like Naruto (read: everyone).

Looking forward to more.
If God!Naruto has an OC following him around in most fics, it's usually an OC with a name that twelve year olds would think sounds cool, like anything that a character in a Sonic spinoff game could be named. However, we've already been told that Naruto will be running around with an army of superpowered harem members, so an english-named OC is entirely unnecessary and would only take focus away from fagdrag- I mean, Naruto.
 
#16
if it's a God!Toolruto, shouldn't Sasuke capable to kill him just by outsmarting him? Which, really, shouldn't be that hard, as most God!Toolruto are usually complete idiots, regardless what their supporters\authors say
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#17
ankokudaishogun said:
if it's a God!Toolruto, shouldn't Sasuke capable to kill him just by outsmarting him? Which, really, shouldn't be that hard, as most God!Toolruto are usually complete idiots, regardless what their supporters\authors say
Who says Sasuke isn't going to outsmart him? But if its too easy, where's the fun in that?

To me, God!Naruto's come off as though they've actually read the script rather than any real intelligence, and that's certainly part of what's its going to be like here, but I want to introduce at least some tactical prowess to God!Naruto, because that makes Sasuke's eventual victory all the sweeter.

I'd rather have God!Naruto be an actual threat whose character I can explore; Basically, I want to write a story of suspense and excitement while I develop characters (mainly Sasuke, but others too). Not a snooze fest where Sasuke insta-kills the Big Bad with one perfect plan.
 
#18
Bill Felix said:
Chaotic Symbolism said:
Has anyone else noticed when it comes to God Mode Sue Naruto fics it seems Fanon goes for a Quantity over Quality approach when it comes to Naruto's skill set? They give him loads of Jutsu/bloodlines and make him "smater" so he'll be more cunning like a "real ninja".

Canon has gone for Quality over Quantity. Kage Bushin, Toad Summoning, Rasengan-and it's many variations, Sage Mode, Kyuubi Chakra Mode. Unless I missed something these are Naruto's main techniques. He has few techniques, but they are powerful ones. Tactics wise Naruto is a lot more cunning then Fanon gives him credit for. One of his most common strategies is the simple but effective Kage Bushin Switcheroo-it lets him live up to being unpredictable you never know where the real Naruto is.
Because the people who write God Mode Sue Naruto fics are stupid. They don't utilize quantity over quality for any good reason, they do it so their version of Naruto can simply have things.

The sad fact of the matter is that despite all of things that they give him, he rarely uses any of it in the story and if he does, the attacks don't really accomplish anything important. He just sort of has it because the author thinks that it's cool and Naruto is the only one allowed to be cool AT ALL in God Mode Sue Naruto fics... until the shitty author gets really bored and starts making insanely overpowered OC villains with broken powers.

Like, there's this retarded fight in that Black Flames Dance in the Wind story (or whatever that horrible shit is called) where Naruto and evil!Kushina (or maybe it's evil!Naruto vs evil!Kushina) have a fight where Naruto uses like 9 elemental dragon attacks on her at once and she somehow survives and the fight continues.


@Ashaman: I wholeheartedly approve of this story and look forward to more.

I don't know if this is going to be a canon version of the world with a God!Naruto in it or if it's going to be a God! Naruto world with a canon Sasuke in it. If the latter is the case, Naruto really needs a poorly characterized, overpowered, warrior/magic/demon girl OC that serves him and insults the shit out of everyone that doesn't like Naruto (read: everyone).

Looking forward to more.
Personally since I think learning new Jutsus requires a lot more skill/training then some people (GodMode Naruto Authors) give it credit for-Sarutobi wasn't called the Professor and God of Shinobi for nothing-what I'd give Naruto are stuff that you would expect him to have. EDIT: Well if you expanded on his canon skill set. A fanfic writer can totally rewrite it if they so choose.

Off the top of head the following come to mind.

1. He uses Kage Bushin all the time so Bushin Daibakua. Make his Clone Barrages even more unpredictable and dangerous. "If I attack this one will it explode?". It wouldn't surprise me if Kishimoto didn't give this move to Naruto on purpose given how broken it would make him.

2. Since he is a Wind Type, Naruto could learn various Fuuton Jutsu like Daitoppa.

2.5. Also IIRC Kakashi said even those at Jounin Level could at least learn two elements. So whatever his Second Dominant Element is once he has become skilled enough. Since he is an Uzumaki I vote for Suiton. (The reasoning here being how the Uchiha's clan name refers to how they are Fire Users.)

3. Knowledge in Fuuinjutsu-which the Uzumaki Clan were known for. Also cause that can lead to "mad genius" Naruto fics which are always fun to read.

4. The various techniques related to the Toads that Jiraiya has demonstrated. Naruto is the new Toad Sage after all.

EDIT: (I can't believe I forgot!)
5. Jinchuuriki related abilities.

ankokudaishogun said:
if it's a God!Toolruto, shouldn't Sasuke capable to kill him just by outsmarting him? Which, really, shouldn't be that hard, as most God!Toolruto are usually complete idiots, regardless what their supporters\authors say
Sasuke's epic finishing line should be telling Toolruto that his Naruto is far stronger then he is or ever will be.
 

sworded

Well-Known Member
#19
Chaotic Symbolism said:
2.5. Also IIRC Kakashi said even those at Jounin Level could at most only use two elements. So whatever his Second Dominant Element is once he has become skilled enough. Since he is an Uzumaki I vote for Suiton.
Actually Kakashi said that most Jonin have learned at least 2, he himself has 3: lightning, water, and earth.

Ashaman, since Sasuke fought with the Raikage would you consider it a possibility that Sasuke saw enough of the Raikage's lighting armor to develop his own version of it? It would allow him to match canon Naruto's new speed, and I've always liked the dynamic that even if one of them improves immencley the other is not far behind for long.
 
#20
sworded said:
Chaotic Symbolism said:
2.5. Also IIRC Kakashi said even those at Jounin Level could at most only use two elements. So whatever his Second Dominant Element is once he has become skilled enough. Since he is an Uzumaki I vote for Suiton.
Actually Kakashi said that most Jonin have learned at least 2, he himself has 3: lightning, water, and earth.
Fixed that. Hard to remember every little thing without looking it up, but the point stands no multiple elements for Naruto (or anyone) who isn't Jounin Level. That likely requires a lot of time and effort.
 
#21
Who says Sasuke isn't going to outsmart him? But if its too easy, where's the fun in that?
in the story not being "Sasuke vs Toolruto" but "Sasuke in a Toolruto world", with Sasuke studying and discovering the abilities of Toolruto and his mindcontrolled Harem, their influence, their deeds, etc, etc, and then using the fact Toolruto is a tool to defeat him with some very basic and\or stupid trick(the more Canon!Naruto-like the better)
since Sasuke fought with the Raikage would you consider it a possibility that Sasuke saw enough of the Raikage's lighting armor to develop his own version of it?
You know, I'd bet Kishimoto will have this being canon. Because, really, it makes sense AND should be enough to make Sasuke's speed on par with Kurama!Naruto
 

Shirotsume

Not The Goddamn @dmin
#22
ankokudaishogun said:
Who says Sasuke isn't going to outsmart him? But if its too easy, where's the fun in that?
in the story not being "Sasuke vs Toolruto" but "Sasuke in a Toolruto world", with Sasuke studying and discovering the abilities of Toolruto and his mindcontrolled Harem, their influence, their deeds, etc, etc, and then using the fact Toolruto is a tool to defeat him with some very basic and\or stupid trick(the more Canon!Naruto-like the better)
since Sasuke fought with the Raikage would you consider it a possibility that Sasuke saw enough of the Raikage's lighting armor to develop his own version of it?
You know, I'd bet Kishimoto will have this being canon. Because, really, it makes sense AND should be enough to make Sasuke's speed on par with Kurama!Naruto
Uh, it IS a jutsu. What's the most basic ability of the Sharingan?

Copying jutsu.

I'll frankly be disappointed if Sasuke doesn't have Chidori armor or something.

No one likes a blowout football game, after all.
 

sworded

Well-Known Member
#23
Chaotic Symbolism said:
sworded said:
Chaotic Symbolism said:
2.5. Also IIRC Kakashi said even those at Jounin Level could at most only use two elements. So whatever his Second Dominant Element is once he has become skilled enough. Since he is an Uzumaki I vote for Suiton.
Actually Kakashi said that most Jonin have learned at least 2, he himself has 3: lightning, water, and earth.
Fixed that. Hard to remember every little thing without looking it up, but the point stands no multiple elements for Naruto (or anyone) who isn't Jounin Level. That likely requires a lot of time and effort.
I'd say it really comes down to the ninja; Sasuke managed to learn the lightning element and shape it into chidori along with increasing his speed to weightless Lee's level in the course of a single month. Naruto without using the shadow clones to help him would have likely taken months to years to figure out wind, but he's generally crap at fine manipulation. So I'd say it really comes down to where the ninja's talents lie and what kind of instruction he or she has available.
 

Ashaman

Well-Known Member
#24
Chaotic Symbolism said:
ankokudaishogun said:
if it's a God!Toolruto, shouldn't Sasuke capable to kill him just by outsmarting him? Which, really, shouldn't be that hard, as most God!Toolruto are usually complete idiots, regardless what their supporters\authors say
Sasuke's epic finishing line should be telling Toolruto that his Naruto is far stronger then he is or ever will be.
I don't think this will be the last thing he says to him, but expect of comparisons to canon Naruto, both verbal and non-verbal. And not just about power either.
 
#25
in the course of a single month.
Two weeks, actually. The first half of the month he was still hospitalized.
He DID need one hand-seal to use it against Gaara, though(yet he didn't need anymore against Naruto on the roof of the hospital)
Uh, it IS a jutsu. What's the most basic ability of the Sharingan?? Copying jutsu.
technically, it copies jutsu by memorizing the chakra firm and the hand-signs.
It's possible the Sharingan cannot copy a seal-less jutsu.

Then again, Sasuke IS a genius that made up from scratch(if not on the spot) the Shishirendan to complete what he couldn't copy from Lee, and he has shown a very advanced ability with Raiton manipulation, so him developing something similar to A's Raiton Armor(in the case he couldn't copy it because the lack of hand-seals) is very likely
 
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