Somewhere around I remember an old fic about Townsville beign a city fortress protected by powerful magic, the PPG where construction from the guardian of the city, the only place where Aku couldn't take control (mind you was a very little part of the world) When Jack stumbled in the city he gets to know the guardian a girl from his world that remembered him.
In the fic Ms. Keane was a girl in the times of Jack, she was his childhood friend and secret crush(that's why the Professor Utonium looks like Jack) and somewhat in time she become a powerful sorcerer, the monsters were soldiers from Aku trying to destroy the city.
It was a one shot and doesn't applies here but the snippet made me remember the fic
Can I name them all?
Blue Falcon and Dyno-Mutt, the Galaxy Trio, Space Ghost and his sidekicks, The Herculoids, BiiiiiiiiirrrrdMan, Hanna-Barbera creation Super-Friends: Black Vulcan, Samurai, El Dorado, Apache Chief, The Wonder Twins and Gleep, Wendy, Marvin and Dog Wonder.
The only groups I'm having trouble with the names of are the Genie group and the Arabian Knights I think they were called? I can't remember the names for those two groups properly off the top of my head, oh and also the flying club guy, I can't remember his name for the life of me, I want to say Tharok but that can't be right.
Now the question is, are all of these folk actual heroes and people in the PPG verse here or are they characters from cartoons and stuff, or are they perhaps both with the amazing power of licensing?
â€œA brilliant attempt, Professor! But not even you could predict that I would reverse the polarity of the tachyon flow within the twentieth-dimensional matrix!â€
â€œGAH!â€ The larger set of speakers exploded from the inside at Dexterâ€™s cheap trick. The Professor was not amused, but not because of the damage. â€œWhat are you even saying!? That would do anything, even if it was possible!â€
â€œHah! A laughable claim, Professor Utonium, perpetuated by â€˜Scientistsâ€™ too foolish to see the true purpose of the art the claim to pursue. Simply construct a thirteenth-dimensional matrix within a Wakemanâ€™s tri-gravitational spatial warp and you shall see the evidence for yourself!â€
â€œAnother of your filthy lies! I wrote the theory of higher-dimension matrices in space-warped conditions!â€
â€œYou only went to the twelfth dimension, too scared to take your experiment to its only logical conclusion. And that is why you failed, Professor, while I have triumphed!â€
â€œIs that what you believe, Dexter? Truly, you are still nothing more than a child! Behold, Space-Sheerer, the Space Cleaver! And they said it would never have any useâ€”hah!â€
Blossom stood silently by the wayside, honestly baffled by what was happening. She worked her way through the events that had led up to this and mouthed the words that were now being spoken to herselfâ€”but nope, no sense was to be found. A part of her told her that she should interfere in thisâ€¦Science Battle before either her father or boyfriend got hurt, but another part told her to just shake her head and walk away. As it was, all she could do was stare on dumbfounded as her father leapt from their robot house in a smaller giant robot, wielding a sword that tore the space around it to meet the distortion Dexter had created.
â€œHumph! Do you think I hadnâ€™t heard rumors of your futile attempt to prove your Quad-planer theory? In your own obsession, you overlooked the truthâ€”behold, the Hyper/Sub-Space Interface!â€
â€œSo you understand, Professor Utonium! Yes; witness the fruit of your theory come to lifeâ€”in my hands!â€
â€œHow dare you! Andâ€”and yetâ€”how can I destroy such a thing!? Itâ€™s too beautiful! No; I am Professor Utonium! I will not be stopped by such a thing!â€ And yet, even as he leapt into action, hints of tears gathered in the same eyes that resolved to destroy the culmination of his hard workâ€”if he must. â€œPrepare yourself, Dexter! Did you think you could use my own theories against me!? I know every flaw within that machine just by looking at it! Surrender now and spare your creation!â€
â€œHah! And once more, you prove why I am superior; whilst you were distracted, I have already won! Tying this Hyper/Sub-Space Interface to my Theoretical Matter Generator, I can create an entirely new substance! I have you to thank for this, Professorâ€”if not for your sword fraying the edges of space, this would be impossible, but now they shall remember me until Science itself dies. Witness the birth of a new elementâ€”a physical existence made as much of space and time as matter and energy. Behold, Element DX!â€
â€œSweet Einstein! What have you done!?â€
â€œI have won!â€
Buttercup landed quietly beside her sister, an opened bag of chips in one hand. She gazed for a long moment at the technological monstrosity Dexterâ€™s newest achievement was rapidly constructing, whilst her father ran towards the cackling teenager, eyes wide in realization. The Professorâ€™s hands were already working rapidly, taking apart parts of the robot around to put something together quickly. And yet, even as he did so, the self-proclaimed boy genius was rapidly putting together something of his own, a counter-counter to the Professorâ€™s attempt to stop his new creation.
She put a chip in her mouth before chewing slowly. After a few moments of quiet crunching, she turned to her sister.
The city of Townsville! And in Townsville, the private laboratory of one Dexter... Er... Dex, boy genius and CEO of DexLabs. Hard at work on a new invention. And nearby, his girlfriend and leader of the Powerpuff Girls, Blossom Utonium!
But what's this? She looks rather pensive... Hmmm... Strange!
"Okay Blossom... You can do this," Blossom muttered to herself. She floated up behind him. Dexter looked up and blinked at her.
"Blossom? What's the matter? Is something wrong?" He asked. He didn't think he had forgotten a date or meeting - He was fastidious and dedicated to their relationship as he was in all aspects of his life. Well, aspects of his life he enjoyed, and he enjoyed their meetings very much, indeed.
"Well," Blossom coughed. "The thing is..."
Dexter's eyes widened. "What? What is it?"
Blossom continued to fidget, unsure of how to go on. Dexter's keen mind raced through the possibilities. Was she unhappy with their relationship? Had he offended her in some way? Clearly he must rectify this immediately as soon as he found out what was wrong-
She grabbed his collar, pulled him up, and kissed him deeply. Dexter's eyes widened.
"Mmph?" He replied intelligently as it felt like his IQ had dropped by a hundred points. Blossom hummed back happily, hugging him tightly. She then set him back in his chair, panting with a red face. An expression she shared.
"Haa... Haa... So... How was that?" Blossom asked.
Dexter blinked, his mind rebooting slowly. "I... It... Um..."
"Do I need to do it again?" Blossom asked, concerned. "I mean, I thought it was pretty good but I'll just do it again!"
"Wait Blos-Mmmph!" And once again, his IQ was dropping like a stone from the intense affection she showed him. She released him again, licking her lips, as Dexter stared at her in amazement.
"So... Um... Well..." Blossom licked her lips. "Just uh... Just... Wanted to see you... And um... So... Bye!" And she shot off, a streak of pink in her wake and the occasional giggle. Dexter stared after her.
"... Computress, what... What the heck just happened?" He asked the sentient AI running his lab. His faithful companion produced a holographic window.
"I believe I can shed some light on her actions," Computress said. It showed Blossom floating outside the door to his room, tapping her fingers. A pigtailed shadow loomed over her, and she turned. Blossom gasped.
"Aha! So! You're the girl dating my stick in the mud little brother!" A blonde woman laughed, hugging Blossom tightly. Dexter's eyes narrowed.
"DeeDee," he growled.
"So! How far have you guys gotten yet?" DeeDee asked with a happy laugh, patting Blossom on the back. "Am I going to have any nieces or nephews soon?"
Blossom turned bright red, as did Dexter. "N-No! No! We're not-We haven't-!"
"You guys have at least kissed, right?" DeeDee asked. Blossom's blush intensified.
DeeDee groaned and slapped her forehead. "You have at least held hands, right?!"
"Er, well... Neither of us has much experience with... With this sort of thing," Blossom admitted. "And I don't want to-"
"Intimidate him?" DeeDee asked with a grin. "Scare him off? Trust me sweetie, there's nothing Dexter likes more than a puzzle. Surprising him, shaking him up-That will get things to go... Well, go."
Blossom didn't seem like she could get any redder, but once again Dexter was proven wrong. "I... Well... Um..."
"You do want things to... Go with Dexter, right?" DeeDee asked with a sly grin. Blossom tapped her fingers together... And very, very slowly nodded.
"Y-Yes... But... But... I'm just not sure-"
"Look," DeeDee said. "Just fly up to him, kiss the bejeezus out of him, and fly off," DeeDee said, patting Blossom on the back. "Take him completely off guard. Then..." She grinned. "He'll figure out that you want him to return the favor. You do want him to return the favor, right?"
Blossom again nodded. DeeDee beamed.
"There, see? Nothing to it!"
"Right... Thank you, DeeDee," Blossom said with a smile. DeeDee laughed and slapped Blossom on the back.
"Hey, don't mention it! Just name it after me if you forget protection~!" DeeDee sang as she danced away, leaving a bright red Blossom.
"You'll figure it out~" DeeDee said cheerfully.
The recording ended. Dexter blinked.
"Well...?" Computress asked. Dexter nodded.
"Um... Computer? I've got some... Some preparations to make," he said, getting up out of his chair.
"Do they include something nice for your sister?" Computress asked, slightly teasing. Dexter scowled.
"As amazing as it sounds, I am seriously contemplating that, yes," he said. He walked off into another section of the lab, already thinking of how to return the favor of "surprising" his girlfriend. There was silence for a time, before a blonde college aged girl dropped into the chair from an air vent.
"Hello DeeDee," Computress said. DeeDee grinned.
"So... All according to plan?" She asked. The Computer made a happy face icon on her screen.
"Good," DeeDee said with a smirk. Like she hadn't figured out where Dexter kept all his security cameras long ago. But hey, if her little brother was going to get anywhere with the girl he liked, he clearly needed some help...
The city of Townsville... Is not where we are looking! Rather, we are looking down at the bottom of the continental shelf off the coast of Townsville!
Here we find the US Government's underwater research station, designed and built for the purpose of discovering the wonders of the ocean!
... And it is flat broke.
"So basically, we're boned?" Lieutenant Commander Derek "Stormy" Waters asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned back in the chair of the briefing room in Sealab's Pod 6. Captain Hank Murphy, respected commander of the research station, sighed and set the papers down on the table.
"Nicely put Stormy," Murphy said. "We are boned. Budget's being slashed by a third, we can barely support normal operations much less research."
"But that's outrageous!" Doctor Quentin Quinn, science officer, said in anger. "I mean, we discovered those sea slugs that could cure cancer!"
"We cured one kind of cancer, Quinn, one," Doctor Ilad Virjay stated. "Nobel prizes are nice on the shelf, but the funding from it barely covers a day's worth of operations at Sealab. We can't ride it any longer."
"Well, NASA's opened up to private space exploration," Dr. Debra "Debbie" Dupree pointed out. "Why can't we do the same?"
"Different funding setup," Jodene Sparks, the station's communications expert, said glumly. "Besides, undersea exploration's taken a serious hit thanks to next-gen rocket tech and microsats. Sure, offshore drilling is still big but research grants for that won't cover the bills..."
"Not to mention the conflict with our environmental charter," Debbie sighed. Quinn scowled.
"I thought you wanted to protect sea life?"
"Of course I do! But I also like cheap energy and plastics too!" Debbie responded. "Part of the reason for this place was to find a middle ground, not just serve the green crusade!"
"Seems like you were just fine with that before!" Quinn growled back.
"You take that back!"
"Here they go again," Lieutenant Debra "Black Debbie" Allison Love muttered to the station's engineer, Lieutenant Commander Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Marco rolled his eyes.
"Civvie fraternization, man, always ends badly," Marco muttered back.
"You mean fraternization in general, right?" Black Debbie asked with a raised eyebrow. Marco coughed.
As Quinn and Debbie's argument intensified, Stormy got a contemplative look on his face. He then snapped his fingers.
"Guys... I've got an idea."
All eyes turned to him. Murphy frowned.
"Well Stormy, spit it out."
"Remember those edited docs we put out?" Stormy asked. "And how we have a special permit to film essentially anything for private support interests?"
"Well yeah, but those barely sold," Sparks said dismissively. "I don't think PBS is going to get boffo ratings for another documentary about us dicking around down here."
"Who said anything about a documentary?" Stormy asked with a sly little grin.
- - - - - -
One week later...
The first episode of Stormy's little "show" finished. The lights in the briefing room came back on. Stormy got a LOT of stares.
"... What the hell was that?" Quinn asked in disbelief. "I mean the script was basically made of insanity but the finished product...!"
"It's called surrealistic humor," Stormy said, waving a hand. "I mean, you know how cartoons don't have any continuity or have to make sense? Same idea! Only it's edgier and more bizarre..."
"It's like an unholy demon spawn birthed from the union of Tex Avery, The Simpsons and a bottle of wood alcohol," Black Debbie stated succinctly. "Exactly how is this supposed to save Sealab?"
"Trust me," Stormy said. "Come on... Have I ever let you guys down before?"
"Stormy, you may be a Medal of Honor recipient, a Navy SEAL, all around badass-" White Debbie began.
"And one hell of a lover," Stormy said with a wink. White Debbie shrugged.
"Sure, fine, but a filmmaker? You have got to be kidding!"
Captain Murphy frowned thoughtfully... And shrugged. "Stormy? If this can get on the air... Do it. Sparks? Help him out."
"Sir?" Asked nearly everyone. Murphy smirked a bit.
"Let's face it folks... Do we have any better ideas?"
Silence. Murphy nodded.
"Well then. Stormy? Go for it. Dismissed."
- - - - -
Another week later...
"You've got to be kidding me!" Marco gasped. "You mean to say this is... Someone actually liked this?!"
Stormy was just as surprised, but kept it hidden.
"Well, it seems simultaneously stupid and yet brilliant," Quinn suggested. "Or at least, it is so stupid people think it's brilliant."
"I've hung around you eggheads long enough to figure out how to spoof you like crazy, after all," Stormy said with a grin. Quinn rolled his eyes, but allowed a smile. The Navy SEAL was pretty damn good at chess, much to the quadruple PhD's minor chagrin.
"So... They want more episodes then?" Debbie asked. "How much are they going to pay?"
Stormy smiled and nodded to Sparks. Sparks named the figure. Much whistling.
"Well... I think that settles it," Murphy said with a little grin. "Sealab 2021 is on the air!"
"Why 2021 anyway, sir?" Asked Black Debbie. Murphy shrugged.
"Eh, seemed to roll off the tongue better."
- - - - -
"So, in this episode... I get my brain put into a giant robot with giant boobs and chainsaw hands," Murphy said with a raised eyebrow. Stormy coughed and shrugged.
"Well... It does call back to the third episode..."
"And that would not be the weirdest thing we've ever done on this show," Marco pointed out. Murphy sighed, but nodded.
"And I only did Carol once... Maybe twice..." Doctor Quinn mused.
"QUINN!" White Debbie growled.
"Do I have to have that annoying a voice?" Hesh Hepplewhite, the station's reactor operator, complained yet again. "I sound like some asshole with a totally lower case name because it's edgy."
"It's funny!" Sparks consoled.
"I'm a freaking nuclear engineer! The fate of nations could be held in my hands!" Hesh further protested.
"Makes it funnier," Stormy said. "I mean, to people who know you."
"Thanks a lot," Hesh grumbled.
"Hey!" Debbie cried. "At least you're not turned into a ditzy blonde who screws anything that walks..."
"Your wetsuit is open again, Debbie," Quinn pointed out. Debbie huffed.
"Thanks for noticing."
"That's kind of the point of her having it open, really," Marco observed. Debbie blushed.
"Well...! ... Got me there."
"C'mon Stormy! Work with me here," Debbie Love said. "You're the biggest idiot on the show, don't you have any complaints?"
"... To be fair, I wrote that," Stormy said.
"Mainly so nobody else could complain he was being entirely unrealistic," Sparks snarked. Stormy scowled.
- - - - -
Well, that would explain a great deal about that show... So once again, Sealab can continue to forge ahead with its mission to explore and research the deep... Thanks to...
Cartoon Network's Adult Swim and the puerile tastes of adult viewers everywhere!
And no, I ain't gonna write anything else for Sealab. Hell no, it's just too damn weird...
"Okay...Finn," Buttercup said slowly, slightly easing away from the odd, wide eyed blond, "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I, uh...I..." His head started to hurt, there was something that happened, something important, but what? He rubbed his head with his claw, "I...I don't remember."
"You don't remember?" The floating girl deadpanned, why did she get the crazy ones? Seriously, the nerds all went for Blossom, and Bubbles always had the sissy, sensitive guys cheering her on (The jocks, too, given her bubbly, cheerleader attitude), but it sometimes seemed like she just attracted the crazies, leading to this creepy, staring ice-kid. "Okay, what exactly happened here?" she asked, waving a hand at the now blue gang.
"I...I'm not sure," Share the powers of snow "I just sorta woke up here, and these donks were hurting people," The grip of ice "And it, I think it brought back bad memories," Finn gripped his throbbing head, Let the power of frost protect you, princess!
"So you iced them?"
"Ice?" Finn looked at the gang as if for the first time, had he done that? But how? How had he-
This crown is magic, bad, terrible magic!
...I raised you better than that...
...I'm too dangerous...to be around...
...I warned you, you butt...
Jake, what are you doing?
AH HA HA HA HA!
"RAAHHH," Finn roared, an icy gale blasting Buttercup into a wall. The boy panted, gripping his head, ice forming with each breath. Panicked, seeing the ice filled building, Finn tool to the skies, leaving behind a frozen Gangrene Gang and a confused Buttercup.
Haven't really read enough PPG fics to know what constitutes a cliche, but here's my minuscule offering.
The loss of the DYNAMO had been... well, a relief, to be honest. The comfort of knowing that the fair city of Townsville would never again be accidentally destroyed by their own saviors made for many a restful night's sleep. However, the threat of another attack that might be more than the Powerpuff Girls could handle on their own still loomed as well. Hence, it was reluctantly agreed that a new Last Resort Robot was needed. But, since Professor Utonium couldn't be trusted to build one without going overboard again, it was decided that the city would simply have to obtain one from somewhere else.
The titanic winged alligator monster rampaged about the city unabated, leaving a swath of destruction in its wake. It stampeded over all but the tallest buildings, and didn't even pretend to be bothered by the gun and rocket fire that had been pelting it's thick hide for the last ten minutes. It's mighty jaws snapped at the fighter planes circling its head, sending many of them crashing to the ground and the rest to veer off course to avoid a similar fate. No one knew for certain where the creature had come from nor why it had decided to attack their peaceful little town. All they knew was that it seemed unstoppable.
Then an equally large blue robot crashed to the ground in front of it. The sunlight flashed dramatically across the flaming paint designs as it took a fighting stance. The monster blinked in confusion as voices echoed out from the hot rod mounted where the head should have been.
"All right, you overgrown handbag," Blossom greeted. "You've invaded our city."
"Endangered its people," Buttercup added.
"And ruined my art project!" Bubbles finished.
"We're about to turn up the heat and bake you to perfection! Hit it, Buttercup!"
The toughest 'Puff reached toward the control panel, letting her hand hover over a group of four buttons, labeled 'Blow Up Monster', 'Blow Up City', 'Blow Up Country', and 'Soda Dispenser'. Picking one at random, she slammed her hand down.
Two figured watched the proceedings stoically from the (relative) safety of the City Hall office balcony.
"I can't help but feel that we've made a terrible mistake."
"Hearing you say it pretty much confirms it for me, Sir."
The City of Townsville! What a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, andâ€¦ hey who is that?
Hoss Delgado, the worldâ€™s premier spectral exterminator, carefully dabbed at the remains of the crime scene. Though Townsvilleâ€™s construction crews were the best of the best, more often than not, they performed rush jobs to keep the city as big as possible in preparation for the next monster attack. As such they tended to leave enough traces that people like Hoss could find some evidence pretty easily.
Hossâ€™ red hair had grown out to even greater proportions though a bit of grey had started coming in at the sides. He was built like a professional weight lifter, and his muscles bulged almost grotesquely with every movement. He might have been on the wrong side of forty, but age hadnâ€™t slowed the bulky man down one bit.
Hoss flicked the blackish ichor into one of the vials he possessed before capping it and looking more closely at the other bits and pieces of viscera littering the area. He slid one of his organic fingers through the goop and lifted it, his eyes narrowing at the sight. He took a deep sniff as his mind raced to figure out the composition.
Brimstone, saltpeter, and iron were the most prevalent compounds but there was something moreâ€¦ ethereal to it all. Hoss shoved the finger into his mouth before slowly sucking on it. Yep there it was. Concentrated evil with a hint of decay. Vintage too. Primarily Christian and at least eighth circle. He could tell by how bland it tasted and how potent it was by feeling his urge to smash something rise even higher than usual. Hindu evil tended to taste like curry and the Far East always reminded him of flowers, albeit evil ones.
â€œSmells likeâ€¦ bad spirits,â€ Hoss pronounced gravely.
â€œHey thatâ€™s great and all but now would ya GET OFF THE DAMN ROAD ALREADY!â€
Hoss blinked as he realized his surroundings for the first time. When the Powerpuff Girls had fought HIM in their most recent battle in Townsville, it had been at Avery Corners, one of the busier streets in Townsville. Dozens of cars honked at him as his bulk blocked the road. The redheaded man grumbled before moving away, having gotten what he came for.
Hoss had ignored Townsville for years. When a city had superheroes that meant it was well protected. Combine that with the fact that a heroâ€™s villains were often a reflection of their origins, hearing about the Powerpuff Girls and their scientific source of powers had turned him off any idea of coming to visit. Well, that was before heâ€™d learned that a nefarious creatures known as HIM frequented the place. Hoss kicked himself for being so stupid before driving down to the city.
A few hours later Hoss found himself at a local diner and devouring a bowl of chili for lunch. After having ordered the spiciest bowl available, Hoss found himself with tears trickling down his craggy face, his mouth feeling like a fuel-air bomb had gone off inside, and in possession of a blackened spoon that seemed about the melt from the strain of holding the food. Hoss took another mouthful, certain that the meat wasnâ€™t just ground beef but also rat and possum. In factâ€¦
Hoss chewed the next spoonful more slowly and let the taste roll over his tongue. Beaver too. Fifty percent chance at least. There were likely some other meats in there he couldnâ€™t recognize at this point. The majority of his taste buds had committed suicide. All in all it was the best bowl of chow Hoss could remember having in years. If Hoss found himself in Townsville again, heâ€™d have to make an effort to come back to this place if the Health Department didnâ€™t shut it down. Places like Popsâ€™ Diner were a dying breed these days.
Hoss finished his bowl by mopping up the juices with his last remaining chunk of Texas toast and popping it in his mouth. He made to grab his wallet to pay before his stomach let out a pained gurgle. He growled at his misbehaving body before grudgingly reaching into one of his pockets to retrieve a packet of fruit flavored antacids. He stared at the medicine furiously before crushing some of the tablets between his teeth. Hoss was getting old these days. He could still move and fight like a man in his prime but his body ached a little more every morning and found to his disgust that he was sleeping three hours a night. Up an entire hour from his previous sleep schedule. Age caught up to everyone he supposed.
Heâ€™d be damned if he gave up his food though.
Hoss flicked down some cash on the table before opening the three years old Yellow Book heâ€™d borrowed from Pops, the owner of the diner. The older man had apologized for not having anything more recent. Townsville had apparently embraced the digital revolution with open arms. Hard copies of phone books were a rare thing these days. Hoss wished he could say the same for him. Despite his prosthetic hand, Hoss remained fairly low tech for a variety of reasons.
First, most of the creepy crawlies he punched in the throat prided themselves on staying firmly away from the bleeding edge of technology and more out of a sense of pride than anything else, he did much the same. It made finding freaks and monsters far more satisfying if he suffered under the same limitations as them. Secondly, there wasnâ€™t a smart phone or computer on the planet that could deal with his lifestyle and repeated use of percussive maintenance. Even back in the old days when cell phones were bricks he could and had used to pulverize a creaturesâ€™ brain in with, Hossâ€™ phones rarely lasted a week before failing. Still, from what heâ€™d been hearing Hoss wasnâ€™t likely to have a problem finding HIM in the phone book. Townsville was so progressive and organized that even the criminals took out sections in the phone book and had their actual addresses in the White Pages.
Hossâ€™ perpetual scowl deepened as his eyes squinted. Trying to find HIMâ€™s address was proving fairly difficult, but then again, Hoss was never much one for reading. Oh he certainly appreciated the value of education and the ABCs, but in his line of work most of the books Hoss found himself dealing with tended to be made of human skin, written in blood, and ending with its reader screaming in gibberish with their brains leaking out of their ears, and a lot of tentacles he needed to chop down. The idea of reading books for pleasure was almost a foreign concept to him. As far as Hoss was concerned, books were mostly for burning, and if not burning, being locked up tight at the bottom of the ocean.
But phone books were alright. Probably. Well actually there was that time whenâ€¦ Okay Phone books were mostly alright.
Would you care to get more specific there Hoss?
But that really sounds quite intere-
Sometime later Hoss found himself at the supposed address of the eldritch abomination. He readied his metal hand into cannon mode before kicking in the door of house and stared at the sight before him. Behind the door was a vast chasm of darkness so deep it was impossible to pierce with his eyes. As he entered the door, he found it shutting behind him. Hoss felt around with his hands and found that the â€˜groundâ€™ cut off two feet from where he entered. Surrounded only by pitch black, Hoss felt a familiar chill curl itself around his spine.
He was being watched. He knew it. He stared deep into the primordial darkness and was reminded of some dead guyâ€™s famous quote. Donâ€™t stare into the darkness or else it starts staring back.
Well actually itâ€™s â€˜If you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you.â€™ Pretty famous quote actually.
Hoss swished his tongue around his teeth before releasing a toothy grin. His hand shifted from cannon form back to normal, and he slammed the metal fist into his fleshy hand.
â€œYou boys wanna party?â€
Immediately the darkness fled from his sight and the sensation of being watched vanished entirely.
â€œThatâ€™s what I thought.â€
With the darkness having retreated, Hoss was treated to the sight of countless floating islands, each alone in the vastness of space and yet seeming infinitely close to each other. Some were rocky slabs, barren beyond anything heâ€™d ever seen and some were hotbeds of carnivorous fauna. Hossâ€™ keen vision managed to catch the sight of a normal looking home. It looked like he had his target.
Some time later
Hoss kicked in the door of HIMâ€™s home and dove in before coming to a shooting stance. Satisfied that no attack was incoming, he got up and started testing each door he could see until-
Hoss caught sight of the demonic creature enjoying a bath with a rubber duck.
â€œNot Who. HIM?â€
â€œNO! I mean. Goddamnit, letâ€™s just start over,â€ Hoss grumbled. He left the bathroom and slammed the door shut before bursting in again with a far more dramatic entrance than previous.
â€œHands to the sky dirtbag!â€
â€œHa! Hoss Delgado. You miserable little ape, how dare you ruin my bath.â€HIM growled.
â€œYou can finish your bath laterâ€¦ in hell.â€
â€œâ€¦Weâ€™re already in hell,â€Him pointed out.
â€œUm. Well, uh, I hope you like hot water. Cause thatâ€™s all hellâ€™s got. Cause thatâ€™s where youâ€™ll be staying. When Iâ€™m done fighting you.â€ Hoss said lamely.
HIM shot the grizzled hunter an bemused look before wiping it off his face to assume his normal grin. The house suddenly shattered into thousands of fragments as HIM grew into a devilish titan. â€œWell then. I hope youâ€™ve WRITTEN YOUR WILL! LETâ€™S DANCE!â€ HIM cried.
Hoss let out a howl before screaming â€œTHE ONLY DANCE I KNOW IS THE MACARENA PUNK, AND YOU AINâ€™T BEATING ME IN THAT!â€
The City of Not Townsville. New York in fact! Here in the Big Apple a mighty hunter hunts its prey.
Jefferson Twilight, Blackula Hunter extraordinaire, dusted the last remaining Blackula before dropping to the ground to start gathering their fangs.
â€œHey Uncle Jefferson.â€
Jefferson swore as he leapt back and tossed some holy shuriken at the talking figure. He readied his sword but upon seeing who had called out his name he lowered it in exasperation. â€œIrwin what did I tell you about talking to me after hunting?â€
â€œNot to do it. But this is important yo!â€ the teenaged demihuman protested.
â€œI donâ€™t care. And stop calling me your uncle Irwin. Iâ€™m not your goddamn Uncle. Our families are supposed to be enemies man! Or at least they were until the old man decided to call it quits.â€
â€œYeah but Granduncle Helsing doesnâ€™t care anymore yo. And dad says to call you Uncle anyway yo,â€ Irwin explained.
The aged man smacked his face before gritting out â€œBoy listen to me Irwin. Youâ€™re a Blackula-â€œ
â€œIâ€™m a quarter!â€
â€œQuarter-Blackula. Whatever! Look, just- Iâ€™m, Iâ€™m, a, oh Jesus Irwin, Iâ€™m a Blackula hunter! I hunt Blackulas. Itâ€™s in the name Irwin! I canâ€™t have a Blackula-â€œ
â€œ-Quarter-Blackula just come up to me and chatting man. Itâ€™s just not done!â€ The hunter glared at Irwin for a few seconds before sighing. He swallowed whatever else he wanted to say before reaching over to ruffle Irwinâ€™s hair.
â€œWhatever. So why are you here anyway? Howâ€™d you get here? And who the hell is that creepy looking white boy staring at me over there? What you looking at white boy?â€
The thin form of Nergal Jr. just pursed his lips before looking away, apparently not finding the situation interesting anymore.
â€œYeah you look away.â€
â€œHeâ€™s my roommate yo. Heâ€™s how he got me to New York. He can control shadows and stuff. Even move between them. And I found you because of our link.â€
â€œLink. You know, the mystical bond between Uncle and Nephew we made six months ago?â€
â€œWhat goddamn link?â€
â€œItâ€™s magic stu-â€œ
â€œOh itâ€™s magic. Thatâ€™s always the answer isnâ€™t it? Itâ€™s magic. â€˜Hey Jefferson sorry to see you out here man. Didnâ€™t need you after all. Just said whap zap tap and shaboom we got it done.â€™â€
â€œWell thatâ€™s not how-â€œ
â€œAnd canâ€™t forget the whole â€˜Donâ€™t worry man this magic potion I whipped up will save the day.â€™â€
â€œItâ€™s magic. Hah! Magic myâ€¦ wait six months ago? Did you say six months ago?â€
â€œY-â€œ Irwin started.
â€œI knew there was something wrong with me! I knew it! IRWIN! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!? Everytime I try to talk to a woman now my throat clogs up like grandmamma got some blockage in the toilet man! Was that because of you? Irwin if you say it was because of you I will not hesitate to give you five across the eyes.â€
Irwin chuckled nervously. â€œFunny story actually, I-â€œ
He was cut off as his Uncle gave him a fast but shallow slap across the cheek. â€œThatâ€™s for the link. Now why are you here Irwin? You got school tomorrow man. Itâ€™s Thursday today!â€
â€œI want to talk about that in private actually yo.â€ Irwin shot his roommate a look. â€œYou mind yo?â€
Nergal rolled his eyes before walking away. â€œIâ€™m gonna go find a poetry slam or Jazz Lounge or something. Just give me a call so I can pick you up.â€
As the pale abomination moved out of eyesight, Jefferson narrowed his eyes before furtively speaking to Irwin. â€œI thought I told you to stay away from his kind.â€
â€œThatâ€™s racist yo!â€
â€œIt ainâ€™t racist. It's not like I donâ€™t like him â€˜cause heâ€™s white. I donâ€™t like him because heâ€™s a hipster. You shouldnâ€™t hang with hipsters is all man. Hipsters are bad news.â€
â€œHipsters? I thought you were talking about him being a demigod.â€
â€œDemi-â€œ Jefferson trailed off before muttering â€œFreaking magic.â€
There was a companiable silence for a few moments before Jefferson asked once more why Irwin had come to see him.
â€œLetâ€™s get some ice cream first yo,â€ was his only answer.
Later, at a nearby ice cream parlor,
As Irwin carefully tapped his pistachio gelato, Jefferson impatiently stared at the boy having already finished his frozen yogurt. He knew the teen was stalling for time. He decided to play along to ease the younger man in. He might be rude and talkative, but he knew when to back off.
â€œSo Irwin, what you want to do after graduation? Are you going to college?â€
Irwing shrugged before taking a spoonful of gelato. â€œStill thinking about it to be honest,â€ he said after swallowing. â€œThought I might go into the marines like you did.â€
â€œDidnâ€™t you say your grandpa on your mommaâ€™s side is loaded?â€
â€œYeah but gramps is weird yo.â€
After a few more minutes of idle chit chat, Jefferson grew impatient. â€œYouâ€™ve got to get up early tomorrow man. Tell me whatâ€™s up.â€
Irwin let his spoon dig into the gelato, not minding it melting at all. â€œThereâ€™s a dance party after school tomorrow yo.â€
â€œâ€¦Thatâ€™s it? Thatâ€™s whatâ€™s so important?â€
â€œItâ€™s my first dance party after moving to Townsville yo! I left my rep back in Endsville now. Itâ€™s a new chance for me yo! I canâ€™t screw it up. Especially since the Powerpuff Girls are hosting it yo!â€ Irwin wailed.
Jefferson blinked. He knew about the Powerpuff Girls sure. Everyone dealing with the weird side of life did.
â€œAnd thereâ€™s going to be girls and oh man thereâ€™s a lot of hot girls at school Uncle Jefferson! And if I look like a moron my high school life is over yo!â€
Jefferson sighed. â€œLook Irwin. No oneâ€™s going to give a shit about what you did in high school once you go to college. And man, you are going to college. Trust me on that.â€
â€œBut theyâ€™re superheroes yo!â€
â€œAnd youâ€™re the grandson of Dracula. And the heir to an ancient Egyptian Dynasty. Your supernatural cred is about as high as it goes man. Youâ€™ve rubbed shoulders with the Grim Reaper.â€
â€œHave you seen the guys at my high school?â€ Irwin rebutted.
â€œNo,â€ Jefferson deadpanned. â€œBecause I donâ€™t go to high school.â€
â€œWeâ€™ve got a millionaire yo! This boy genius kid whoâ€™s got this corporation. And this kid who works at a house for untrained monsters man! Everyone says heâ€™s like the big boss there. Weâ€™ve got all sorts of crazy kids there yo.â€
Jefferson sighed before going on. â€œIrwin whyâ€™d you come to me then? Melvinâ€™s your brother man. And the way he talks itâ€™s like heâ€™s got a new girlfriend every week. Why not ask him?â€
â€œBecause heâ€™s a dick,â€ Irwin said bluntly. And then he flushed, highly embarrassed to make the following declaration. â€œAnd youâ€™re the coolest adult I know yo.â€
Jefferson lifted a hand to his mouth to fake a cough and try to hide the big grin on his face. â€œI think weâ€™re gonna need to get some more ice cream Irwin. Be right back.â€
â€œWhat about your diabetes?â€ Irwin asked.
â€œFuck my diabetes. Making sure you donâ€™t screw up tomorrow is important.â€
So once again the day is saved, thanks toâ€¦
Jefferson Twilight I guess? I mean, what if Irwin still ends up striking out tomorrow? Would the day still be saved? Or would it be ruined retroactively? These are some complex questions here folks.
-Is having some serious weather problems in Central Park!
Snowmen, snowball fights between laughing children, this strange summer sight was was greeted the PowerPuff Girls as they arrived in Townsville Central Park.
But who could have perpetrated this performance of polar precipitation?
"Uh, duh!" Buttercup sighed, "Who else?", the green clad girl pointed at the now ice-covered volcano-top laboratory, so cold that it seemed like the ice was growing as they watched.
"Alright, girls, let's see what Mojo's up to this time." Blossom said as she took to the sky, followed by her sisters.
As they closed in, the girls began melting the new, icy walls of the lab with their heat vision, which was slow going as the walls seemed to be growing back faster and faster each ti-
"Hey! Who's donking up my home!?"
The girls stopped at the yell of someone who was definitely not Mojo-Jojo, a hole in the ice opening as a young man flew out, his bangs seeming to flap in the wind, only stopping when he saw who it was, or rather who one of them was.
"Oh, uh...Hi again," Finn said timidly, waving to Buttercup.
"Friend of yours?" Blossom asked, her expression mirroring her blonde sister's, both all but screaming 'Blackmail'.
"He's the guy who turned the Gangreenes into popscicles," Buttercup explained as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Finn, what are you doing here?"
"What about Mojo?"
"Uh...Who?" Finn asked, feeling a slight twinge in his brain.
"You know, Mojo-Jojo?"
Who are you? How dare you break into the home of Mojo-Jojo!
"The monkey who lives here?"
I know not who you are, but you will regret breaking into the lair of Mooojo-Jojo!
"Evil guy, big brain."
"Uh, sorry," Finn said, rubbing his aching head, "The place was empty when I got here, I thought it would be cool if I crashed here for a while."
Blossom looked the boy over. While this was Mojo's lair, really it was only because nobody else would build here, and it was never torn down because a fair amount of his equipment was considered to dangerous to risk taking apart, in case of booby-traps. If anything, since "above molten rock" wasn't technically city land, anyone could have built there, just nobody could have really done it, and freezing that rock probably still had it count as non-land, legally speaking.
"Well, uh, Finn, was it?" Blossom asked, getting a nod from the blond boy, "Are you responsible for that?" She pointed at the falling snow covering the park and spreading.
Finn's eyes widened, "Oh, uh, I guess, maybe? I was getting comfortable here and I guess it just happened."
"Uh-huh, well, could you please stop? Snow might be fun, but it's the middle of summer and it could throw the local ecosystem out of whack."
"Y-yeah, sure," Finn nodded, Blossom noticing how the crown didn't budge an inch as he did so. Raising his good arm to the sky, the girls watched as the snow-clouds pulled back to cover only the mountain and a hundred yards or so around it, and were further surprised when the show outside that radius began to shift, arms and limbs bursting out as literal snow-men rose collecting themselves and moving towards the volcano, falling apart as the snow built up around it, packing into a castle-like wall below the edges of the clouds.
"Is that okay?" Finn asked, looking a bit tired.
"I suppose," Blossom nodded, "Just try and keep things under control and let us know if you see Mojo-jojo."
"Yeah, sure," Finn said with a small smile, waving as the girls turned to leave, looking more at Buttercup. "Bye."
The girls took off, silent only for a moment until Buttercup spoke up, "I told you he was creepy."
"I think he was nice," Bubbles smiled, "And he probably the best snowball fighter ever."
"Oh, come on," Buttercup groaned, "You could tell that boy was a creep, right Blossom?"
"Something's off about that boy, I will admit," Blossom said, "But there's no use starting anything until we know more or know for sure he's up to no good, today could have been as much of an accident as when I first got my ice breath. Our best course of action is to wait and do a little research. Besides," Buttercup could just hear the smirk in her sister's voice, "Don't you want to learn a little about your new admirer?"
"Shut up," Buttercup grumbled, turning red as her blonde sister started to giggle, "I'm telling you, that guy is trouble."
"But haven't you always been into bad boys, Buttercup?" Bubbles giggled before her brunette sister sputtered and took off ahead of them.
Finn landed in his new home, sighing as he slipped off his hat, the crown sliding over it as it held it's place. Looking up, he-
"Gah!" Finn jumped at the strange ice-sculpture in his entryway. Calming down a bit, Finn yelled, "Jake! Jaaaaake!"
Silently, a small snow-dog trudged in, looking up at Finn.
"Would you get this thing out of here? It's creeping me out, man." Finn pointed at the chunk of ice, "And I'm all for you learning new tricks, but if you carve ice, carve something cool. There's nothing cool about green mon...keys..." Finn trailed off as he tried to remember something, "Ju-Just get it out of here, toss it in the basement or something, okay? Jaaake!" Finn called out, another snow dog coming from the hallways, "Jake, dude, she was here again."
The snow dog was silent, but all the same Finn turned red.
"I did not bunk it up, I just..got nervous, and her friends were with her, dude. I just...I looked like a total dweeb."
Again, the dog was silent.
"You're right," Finn said, "I just have to make a better impression next time." Looking at a reflective ice-wall, the blond checked himself over, "I guess I could clean up some."
"Hey, I'm not bad! i just need some new clothes, and maybe..." He looked at his claw arm. Really, it hadn't been easy for his pops to afford it for him after the accident, but it wasn't great quality, it did stick or jam up at times...
Reaching up, Finn removed the arm at it's base carefully, a new arm of ice quickly rising from the stump. Looking at his new arm, Finn handed the robot one to another snow dog, "Jake, go put this in the vault. Take care of it, now."
As the other Jake left, Jake watched as, with a flick of his wrist, Finn's new arm became a blade of ice, then a hammer, and back to a hand.
"Pretty handy, huh?"
"Yeah, i guess that was pretty bad..." Looking over his reflection at his tattered clothes, Finn rubbed his ice hand across the shirt, "I'll never impress her with stuff like this," he sighed. In a moment, his clothed began to chill and shift, his shirt and shorts reforming to pants and a button up shirt, something he'd seen in the story books mother had read to little sibling. Fancy clothing and all, looking like a real slick dude...
Like a prince
...Watching his clothes finish forming, from his new boots to the cape, adjusted to cover his new arm, Finn smiled at his reflection.
Hm, it's been awhile hasn't it? After watching this year's Regular show christmas special I am certain that the Park is somewhere in teh City of Townsville, nowhere else could that brand of mayhem pass without comment! The party was still ongoing as of the last snippets wasn't it? So then, hm I wonder if I could work something up involving that robotic Party doppelganger company...