Things You Are Not Allowed To Do in the Pokemon World

[whitewhiskey]

Like the title says, things you can't do in the pokemon World

1. You are not allowed to hang fake skeletons from your Trevenant to intimidate your opponents

2. You are not allowed to offer your Jynx fried chicken and watermelon

3. You are not allowed to try and feed your Blaziken KFC

4. You are not allowed to hook Xerneas up to a sleigh, even on Christmas

5. You are not allowed to give your Metapod, Kakuna or any other pokemon who can learn 'Harden' the nickname 'Penis', the joke was old after one telling

 

[Nanya]

6. You are not allowed to use Mr. Mime as a spokeman for gay rights. We screwed up on the name, okay?

7. Rotom-Grass is not to be used for mowing the tall grass.

 

[whitewhiskey]

8. You are not allowed to run into Lavender Tower in a Ghostbuster's uniform, it's highly disrespectful

 

[seitora]

9. You are not allowed to make tentacle jokes immediately after capturing a Grass Pokemon, Tentacool or Tentacruel.

 

[Nanya]

10. Do not capture Sunflora just to see if you can eat the seeds.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

11) Not allowed to tell ekans to eat Joey's rattata
12) Not allowed to throw out empty pokeballs and pretend their voltorb
13) No longer allowed to dress Snivy up in a top hat and cane for the Nimbasa shows.
14) Not allowed to test if Meoth and Skitty always land on their feet.
14b) No longer allowed to own cat-like pokemon
15) No longer allowed to plant video cameras around the daycare and selling the videos to Bill
16) Not allowed to put random items in balls and claim their undiscovered pokemon when I use them in battle.
17) No longer allowed to fumigate caves with Repel so I don't have to deal with Zubat and Geodude.
18) No longer allowed to allowed to sell crazy Electrode to people who make impossible requests on the GTS.
19) No longer allowed to corner medicine dealers in dark alleys and ask if they got a little something to boost performance.
20) Referring to the daycare as the Pokebrothal will get me banned for life.
21) No longer allowed to scam trainers on the GTS by painting pokemon and marketing them as Shiny
22) The answer to all of life's problems is not "Dragonite use Hyperbeam!"
23) No longer allowed to anonymously mail Pokedolls to Bill
24) No longer allowed to surprise attack other trainers with Hyperbeam.
25) Nicknaming Registeel Adolf will get me a prompt visit from a very unamused Regigias
26) Not allowed to randomly challenge people off the street so I can take their money even though everyone else does it.
27) Calling my Gardivoir, Lilligant, or Gothilita my Waifu shall earn me a visit from the local officer Jenny.
28) Pawniard does not want to "Cut a bitch".
29) No longer allowed to shout "Giga Drill Breaker!" Every time Exadrill attacks
30) Not allowed to teach Chatot to say "Fus Roh DAH!" and send him out to battle dragon types.

 

[Nanya]

31. Rayquaza is not Shenron, he will not grant you a wish if you gather 7 different orbs.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

32) Coins do not fall out of Meoth when you hit them
33) Not allowed to force feed Pikachu a light orbs.
34) Not allowed to use Earthquake to destroy the Battle Subway because everyone else cheats.
35) No longer allowed to call "vine whip" "tentacle rape".
36) Youngsters are not "Nature's Kevlar".

 

[whitewhiskey]

27) Calling my Gardivoir, Lilligant, or Gothilita my Waifu shall earn me a visit from the local officer Jenny.

27b. It doesn't matter if your Mega-Gardevoir is already in a weddingdress

-----

37. Not allowed to tell 'Yo Mama' Jokes to a Cubone
37b. Or a Kangaskhan
38. Do not say Hitmonchan is wearing a dress, it ends badly...

 

[Nanya]

39. Do not use Celebi or Dialga to rewind time to undo your past mistakes.

 

[Fellgrave]

39. b) No using Celebi or Dialga to make yourself your own grandfather.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

39c) No using celebi to kill your own grandfather.
40) Hyperbeam is not the key for every lock.

 

[whitewhiskey]

40b. Klefki is not the key for every lock either

 

[Nanya]

41. Catching Arceus and using the God of all Pokemon to render judgement to corrupt officials is not allowed.
41 A. Especially if they claim to be religious.
41 B. It does not matter if it would be hilariously ironic, you are not allowed to do it.

 

[Master of Squirrel-Fu]

42) Not allowed to bring out Arceus to shut up annoying Atheists. No matter how smug.
43) No, you can't call officer Jenny to report Child Labor Laws. Just take the package back to Oak.
44) Porygon is not a digimon.
45) Not allowed to jail break the pokedex
46) Not allowed to offer small children rare candy to get in the back of a windowless van.

 

[whitewhiskey]

47. Do not stand in a candle-lit room alone and say 'Giratina' into a mirror three times

 

[Fellgrave]

48. Darkrai is not allowed to be shown "Nightmare on Elm Street". EVER.

 

[whitewhiskey]

49. It doesn't matter if they look alike, Fire Punch is not a Falcon Punch, even if it's used by a Blaziken

 

[Nanya]

49 A. Power-up Punch is also not a Falcon Punch.
50. Chesnaught is not allowed to be named Captain America, even if it does have a shield and is a fighting type.

 

[Fellgrave]

52. You are not allowed to put a flag on a Blastoise's back and pretend it's a pirate ship.

 

[Nanya]

51. Shuckle is not an ocarina. You are not allowed to use it as such.

 

[Contrabardus]

54. You are not allowed to swim, the trainers you meet in the water are really pokemon who try to trick surfers into the water to devour them.
55. You are not allowed to own the following items: an axe, machete, brush saw, hedge clippers, explosives, sledge hammer, jack hammer, or shovel. You may also not operate any heavy machinery. They are too dangerous for children, but Pokemon are perfectly safe for use because they have sometimes godlike elemental powers, strength many times that of any human, various sharp and otherwise deadly appendages, and biographies that suggest that many are known to kill or maul humans on a fairly regular basis.
56. You are not allowed to in any way harm the members of any evil organization who is attempting to destroy or take over the world even if they intend to kill you and all of your loved ones, but you may burn, shock, freeze, drown, poison, pulverize, beat, pummel, blast, chop, slice, cut, slash, stab, impale, strangle, whip, mind rape, paralyze, stone, blind, crush, or otherwise violently punish their pets in any way that does not prove fatal. You would be surprised what Pokemon can live through, so please do not hold back.
57. You may not distribute any materials pertaining to any "Periodic Table". Any suggestion that the elements differ from the established norm of Fire, Dark, Electric, Water, Ice, Fairy, Dragon, Rock, Ground, Poison, Steel, Normal, Grass, Fire, Psychic, and Ghost is punishable by a 5,000P fine or up to a five year imprisonment along with at least six months of "Reeducation".
58. Cock fighting and Dog fighting are criminal offenses and are both punishable by a 10,000P fine and up to fifteen years imprisonment. We take animal cruelty seriously and so should you.
59. You may not take Beedrill hives to harvest honeycombs to produce honey for human consumption or wax for candles. This is for your own safety.
60. You may not suggest that Red and Ash are the same trainer. Red will take offense, and you do not want to piss that guy off. Ash is his retarded cousin and we're all very proud of him for achieving what he has despite his handicap, but seriously, Red is a bad-ass motherfucker and he'll fuck you up.
61. You are not under any circumstances to read the sign in the Viridian City Gym next to the guy who tells you that nobody knows who the Gym leader is. Nobody Knows who the Gym leader is. Seriously, you'll just let it go if you know what's good for you.

 

[whitewhiskey]

62. Do Not attempt to capture Sabrina, just because she has powers does not make her a psychic type pokemon

63. Do not challenge Koga or his daughter whilst wearing a pirate costume

 

[KageX]

64. You are not allowed to insinuate that the various Psychics are having sex with each other in their minds. What mental illusions were shown to to you as a result are better left unsaid.
64b. This goes double for implying that Sabrina and Mewtwo are in a relationship. Seriously do not piss off a Psychic God and one of the World's Most Powerful Human Psychics, who happens to have a history of mental instability.

65. You are not allowed to try and convince the different Pokedex Holder girls to switch outfits, no matter how how much you want to see the rest of the girls in White's shorts.

66. You are not allowed to comment on Crystal's "special relationship" with Suicune.

67. Beating a female Gym Leader does not mean you have earned the right to ask them out on a date.
67b. If you insist on this do so at your own peril, some of those girls are into some really freaky shit.
67c. You are not to research which of the female Gym Leaders are into "Freaky Shit" and call it a psychology study to see how the stresses of being a Gym Leader effects them.

68. You are not allowed to show Pokemon Researchers who specialize in Genetics any images of hypothetical "Pokemon Fusions.
68b. Especially when they are drunk.
68c. Congratulations you have found a way to make Mewtwo hate you even more, and now the Genesect are gunning for you as well.

69. Mewtwo does not need to "Get Laid" and Mew nodding vigorously does not confirm your position. Mew is just a little "odd" so you should not listen to him/her/it.
69b. On an extended note unless it involves saving the world never listen to a thing Mew says or does. Even then take it with a grain of salt.

70. Misty did not get implants she just hit puberty, stop spreading rumors.

71. Sicking Arceus on the various "Team Leaders" at the moment of their supposed triumph while hilarious is not allowed. It just makes them desperate, and when they get desperate they cause even more property damage. No matter how much it seems to amuse Arceus please stop.

72. You are not allowed to conduct a poll on the "most useless Pokemon", "Most ugly Pokemon" or any other similar polls. It is considered offensive, and is liable to get fans of the losing Pokemon after you. And yes every Pokemon has at least a few fans of it.

73. It is in poor taste to name a Lapras "Nessie". Please stop doing so.

74. You are not allowed to try and upgrade Porygon to search for porn on the internet.

75. Naming horrifically overpowered Pokemon "Magikarp" or other species names belonging to "weaker" Pokemon just to see your opponents reactions when you send them out is in poor taste and now banned. All "nicknames" must be submitted for screening from this point onward.

 

[Contrabardus]

73. It is in poor taste to name a Lapras "Nessie". Please stop doing so.

Unless you're Scottish, in which case it's acceptable.

75. Naming horrifically overpowered Pokemon "Magikarp" or other species names belonging to "weaker" Pokemon just to see your opponents reactions when you send them out is in poor taste and now banned. All "nicknames" must be submitted for screening from this point onward.

F-U, been doing that since Pkm:Red, not about to stop now. It's just too funny. It's especially fun/effective when you match the weak pokemon names to opposite elemental weaknesses, such as calling an Electric type Pokemon like Ampharos with a mega stone "Diglett" and sending it out against water type opponents. "Seriously? Diglett? You obviously have no idea wh...OH MY GOD! YOU ASSHOLE!"

I also refuse to stop farming Tentacool, naming them Cthulhu, and leveling them into Tentacruels before sending them out in trades. Charge me with a crime if you must, but I dream of a day when Cthulhu sleeps within all Nintendo handhelds...