Nasuverse Trying to make a Cross with MLGN Work

[Elvarein]

This is an attempt at a cross-over and I need help in critiquing the base concepts, since cross-overs/merges with Type Moon tend to be troublesome. I do know that someone else has started a thread on this topic, but the basis of the cross is very different.

What if the Throne of Heroes is a Lost Logaia created by the civilisation of Al Hazard? The entire world and the system in place is an experiment at generating & storing imprints of Heroes which can be restored to create soldiers. Unfortunately, before anything meaningful can be done, Al Hazard was destroyed. Lacking any directions, the world they cultivated and the people they placed who have been genetically modified to be able to use Magic without devices continued on. The system is a semi sentient AI that has the prime directive of storing and creating imprints with Carte Blanche to how it achieves this.

Now the plot:

Sometime after Strikers, (4 years?) Nanoha and Co discover the planet and the Lost Logaia but decide not to do anything as the only way to shut down the system is to destroy the entire planet. Beside being morally wrong, this is not possible to do as the defenses of the system as stated in the infinity library (ie the Throne of Heroes and the Eirei) would destroy them utterly. However, while there, Nanoha and co save a few people from a natural disaster (could even be the aftermath of the Grail War). The Throne of Heroes records them due to their potential and power. No one is expected to summon them in anycase since you would need an item related to them, other than having personality compatible with them.

Sometime later, Nanoha and Fate are dying slowly. The magic usage is wracking Nanoha's body despite her becoming more disciplined in its usage, due to the abuse she put herself through when she was younger. As for Fate, there was a flaw in Project Fate as she was one of the initial proto types. Vivio, now a teenager, refuses to accept this, and remembers about the Throne of Heroes and the World... as well as the wish granted by the Holy Grail.

Timing: 5th Grail War. She replaces Shinji or/and she summons .... someone (see below)

or 4th Grail War. Not likely though, I'm hoping to write this... and am not so familiar with the 4th Grail War. Well, unless I want to write

Character Info (to be expanded as necessary):
Vivio Takamichi: Has the circuits, as she was created to be the Saint's Vessal and can use magic without any device. She will not be using any devices or any big rays of doom as she does not want to attract any untoward attention until she manages to save her Mamas.

For crack, she can be completely terrified by the thoughts of her mums finding out about it and grounding her. Or we can just remove the fact that Nanoha or Fate are dying (its just a misunderstanding!). With Vivio overreacting to a prank being played by Hayate's knights and her mums scouring the multi-verse looking for her.

Summons

True Assasin: Fate-chan! She'd probably agree to save Nanoha.

 

[elric]

:huh:

 

[toraneko]

A couple major flaws in this one.

genetically modified to be able to use Magic without devices
Mages, Midchilda-type and otherwise, are well-known to use magic with or without the use of a Device. Devices merely help the process along, making it easier, and in the case of Intelligent Devices (Raising Heart especially), tutor the mage in the use of magic.

Case in point, Yuuno Scrya. He uses an ID all of once in all three seasons; the rest of the time, it's all him.

The Throne of Heroes records them due to their potential and power.
They're from outside the World's system, thus they are ineligible for such.

there was a flaw in Project Fate as she was one of the initial proto types
Correction: Fate Testarossa was the first successful finished model. The only thing "incomplete" about her was Precia's mad reasoning that it "wasn't her Alicia".

(Vivio) Has the circuits, as she was created to be the Saint's Vessal and can use magic without any device.
I fail to see how being the Saint's Vessel means one has magic circuits.
Also, the "magic w/o device" section above.
Plus, you're postulating a situation where Nanoha can't safely use magic anymore, and she doesn't give Raising Heart to her precious daughter? Doesn't wash. Nanoha is a Takamachi; she'd not only give Raising Heart to Vivio, but become a ruthless teacher to ensure that Vivio would be well-protected in her absence.

True Assasin: Fate-chan!
Fate is a Lancer-type, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Nothing "assassin" about her.

I'd also suggest thoroughly familiarizing yourself with the details and rules of the Moon World's mechanics before trying something like this. Nasu's world is surprisingly deep, and there's rules for everything that must be followed.

 

[Elvarein]

Hmm drat. I thought I had it down, but it seems that if I missed some many things, I am going to do more research.

Mages, Midchilda-type and otherwise, are well-known to use magic with or without the use of a Device. Devices merely help the process along, making it easier, and in the case of Intelligent Devices (Raising Heart especially), tutor the mage in the use of magic.

Good point. I also forgot how Nanoha was practicing and not channelling through Raising Heart. I guess that it would also be pushing the suspension of disbelief too far to say that as the Saint's Vessal Vivio would be the only with the circuits. My explanation for this was originally that the Saint is actually a genetically engineered and controlled being that the ancient Balkans created as a guardian of their race, and that the incarnation they were using had the benefits of the experimental Circuit system. If I continue along this line, I would probably have to examine the differences between the two magic system and if the Type Moon system really has some advantages in combat over MLGN. Although admittedly, MLGN never really explained their systems of magic and how exactly it works or its limitations outside of combat.

Well, I could alternatively, just cut this out and try not to meld the systems, as it probably seems just like an excuse to make sure that Vivio could summon a servant and just maintain that the systems are different due to the experimental manipulation where they were testing the Circuit System. Instead I would just say that Vivio came down to the World to see if she could get in to the Grail Wars and that she has some big misconceptions on how the system works.

They're from outside the World's system, thus they are ineligible for such.

For this I was actually trying to say that the World's system true purpose was to collect data on any people who has abilities, skills or powers that meet its criteria. IOW a slight modification of the laws behind the system. However now that I think about it more, I guess that my modification would not fly, because of the True Ancestors. Drat.

Correction: Fate Testarossa was the first successful finished model. The only thing "incomplete" about her was Precia's mad reasoning that it "wasn't her Alicia".

Hmm I guess I could work around this by saying that it was something that was not noticed until later, but that might be pushing it too far. I should just leave it with Nanoha having trouble with magic.

Plus, you're postulating a situation where Nanoha can't safely use magic anymore, and she doesn't give Raising Heart to her precious daughter? Doesn't wash. Nanoha is a Takamachi; she'd not only give Raising Heart to Vivio, but become a ruthless teacher to ensure that Vivio would be well-protected in her absence.

Wasn't quite saying this actually. I was stating that Vivio was deliberately not using Raising Heart or anything from their magic system to avoid detection as what she is doing is illegal.

Finally, while the discussion on the Servants is moot as I am not so sure I want to have them in, for Fate, I believe that she would do anything to protect those she values. Anything at all. Especially for Nanoha, given their connection and the fact that she had a somewhat disturbed childhood. Hence, her value system would be a little warped. Besides, I was looking at the requirements for Assassin and am not sure but could not really see anything about the person's character not letting the person be from that class.

Well, time for me to think again. Any comments are appretiated, and Thanks Toraneko for your indepth critique.

 

[Shaderic]

Ahhh well you see, assassin is Hashashin (I probably didn't spell that right.).
It's always Hashashin. No exceptions. Apart from 'false' assassin, but he's not one anyway. He was summoned by Caster, not a Master.