Evangelion Vaguely Asuka

#1
Asuka Langley Soryu. She's been a bitch, a bigger bitch, a sexually repressed bitch... You get the idea.

But, what if something happened during her childhood besides the death of her mother to make her, well... More mellow?

- - -

The rotors of the landed helicopter blew up considerable turbulence, and Toji's hat was quickly blown off his head.

"HEY! COME BACK!" Toji shouted uselessly at the cap, and chased after it as fast as he could. He'd bought it to impress Misato! What kind of a man would he be if he lost it?!

The hat stopped at last, and Toji reached to pick it up. He stood up and sighed, pulling the hat back on. He turned around... Only to squeal like a little girl at the sudden appearance of a teenaged girl with long red hair and a yellow sundress.

"GYAAH!"

"Hello!" Asuka said brightly. "I'm Asuka Langley Soryu! Who are you?"

"Uh, Toji..." The jock smiled. Hey, a cute girl on this trip? This is looking better and better!

"Nice to meet you!" Asuka said cheerfully. "Are you the Third Child?"

"Uh, no," Toji said. He pointed over Asuka's shoulder. "That would be him."

Asuka slowly turned around and stared at Misato and Shinji, the Third Child smiling nervously. Behind them, Kensuke was energetically filming everything.

"Hello Asuka! You've grown a lot!" Misato greeted. Asuka blinked and slowly tilted her head. Her eyes focused on an area just above Misato's shoulder, which the NERV tactical ops officer followed, frowning.

"You know, I think I have... Mmhm, I'm bigger," Asuka said vaguely. She wandered over to Shinji and smiled.

"You've grown too, right? Since I last saw you?"

"Since we last met...?" Shinji asked vaguely.

"We've met before? When! I want to know and-Ooh! A seagull! This far out? Wow!" Asuka chirped happily. The white bird arched over the flight deck, and Asuka happily ran after it. Shinji's eyes widened as he saw she was headed right for the edge of the deck, and ran after her.

"H-HEY! WAIT!"

Asuka giggled, reaching for the bird one step too far. Her eyes widened as though she was completely surprised to be on the edge of the flight deck.

"W-W-WOAH-!"

Shinji yanked the redheaded girl back on deck, both falling down. Shinji panted hard, before realizing Asuka was sitting on his lap. He blushed bright red and scooted away.

"Uh, S-Sorry! I mean-!"

"Awww," Asuka sighed. "The bird got away! Kind of like a cloud... Hey, what do you think?"

"... About?" Shinji hazarded. Asuka frowned.

"About clouds. Do you think birds fly through them and don't have any problems?"

"Uh... I... Guess?" Shinji answered, as Misato and Kensuke helped them up to their feet. Asuka blinked, eyes once more staring somewhere over Shinji's shoulder.

"Because clouds are very cold and wet. Do you think the birds would freeze? I mean, all they've got is their feathers..."

"Uh, Asuka, why don't we go inside so I can make my report to the Admiral?" Misato suggested, smiling nervously. Asuka didn't notice and just beamed.

"Sure! Maybe he knows something about birds and clouds, seeing that he's an admiral and all..."

"Toji, Kensuke, go with her? I'll be along soon," Misato ordered. The two boys, only too happy to escort a cute girl at the command of Shinji's sexy guardian, led the babbling Asuka towards the island. She sighed, and looked over at Shinji, who was staring in disbelief at her.

"... That's the Second Child?"

"Yes. Yes she is," Misato sighed.

"... Do I want to know what happened to her?" Shinji asked again. Misato coughed.

"Um... Probably not..."

- - - -

An Asuka who takes after Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. Maybe she hit her head, maybe she's on drugs, maybe her mother's soul inside her Eva did it to her-Whatever the reason, she's easily distracted and her mind wanders in obscure and oblique ways.

And Shinji and Rei have to work with a girl who would just as happily run through the rain naked as chase a butterfly in her Eva.

Gendo, I believe your scenario may be toast.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#2
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
Asuka Langley Soryu. She's been a bitch, a bigger bitch, a sexually repressed bitch... You get the idea.

But, what if something happened during her childhood besides the death of her mother to make her, well... More mellow?

- - -

An Asuka who takes after Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. Maybe she hit her head, maybe she's on drugs, maybe her mother's soul inside her Eva did it to her-Whatever the reason, she's easily distracted and her mind wanders in obscure and oblique ways.

And Shinji and Rei have to work with a girl who would just as happily run through the rain naked as chase a butterfly in her Eva.

Gendo, I believe your scenario may be toast.
While this story would be good for laughs, Canon!Gendo would have Spacy!Asuka meet an unfortunate 'accident', wipe Kyoko's soul from Unit 02, and install another soul and pilot in Unit 02.

Yes, Gendo would be that ruthless. Unless you can honestly convince me that he would let this affect the Scenario.
 
#3
GreydonCreed said:
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
Asuka Langley Soryu. She's been a bitch, a bigger bitch, a sexually repressed bitch... You get the idea.

But, what if something happened during her childhood besides the death of her mother to make her, well... More mellow?

- - -

An Asuka who takes after Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. Maybe she hit her head, maybe she's on drugs, maybe her mother's soul inside her Eva did it to her-Whatever the reason, she's easily distracted and her mind wanders in obscure and oblique ways.

And Shinji and Rei have to work with a girl who would just as happily run through the rain naked as chase a butterfly in her Eva.

Gendo, I believe your scenario may be toast.
While this story would be good for laughs, Canon!Gendo would have Spacy!Asuka meet an unfortunate 'accident', wipe Kyoko's soul from Unit 02, and install another soul and pilot in Unit 02.

Yes, Gendo would be that ruthless. Unless you can honestly convince me that he would let this affect the Scenario.
Despite her ditziness, she's an excellent pilot. She can focus on her job. But when she's not in combat, well... That's when there's trouble.
 

FanboyimusPrime

Well-Known Member
#6
I find it hillarous.

Though Shinji might be nosebleeding if Asuka and Rei run through the rain naked.

And Shinji probably thinking this....

"I think I'm a chick magnet" Shinji thought "Too bad they're all weirdos. But I guess any normal woman won't put up with me."
 

SoftRogue

Well-Known Member
#7
So...what happens when the Fifteenth Angel tries to mind-rape this Asuka?
 
#9
SoftRogue said:
So...what happens when the Fifteenth Angel tries to mind-rape this Asuka?
- - -

The 15th Angel had been attacking Unit 02 for ten minutes now. Communications had been lost, and while Asuka's mind seemed normal (for her, anyway), the silence was troubling.

Finally, Gendo had had enough. "Rei, get the Lance. Destroy the Angel."

"Yes Commander," Rei responded, descending to Terminal Dogma. While she did, however, a giggle could be heard over the radio.

"Heehee! No way! Are you kidding? Wow!"

"Asuka! Are you okay?!" Shinji shouted over the radio. Asuka giggled again.

"Yep!"

"ASUKA! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Misato demanded.

"I've just been talking with Arael here-"

"ARAEL?! YOU'RE TALKING TO THE ANGEL?!"

"Uh huh! She has lots of interesting stories! Like this one time, she appeared naked to a group of Islamic crusaders, and they-!"

"ASUKA!" Misato bellowed. Asuka blinked.

"But it's a really great story and I'm sure you'd like it-!"

"WOULD YOU JUST FIRE AND DESTROY THE ANGEL ALREADY?!" Gendo roared, his cool at last lost. Asuka eeped and nodded on the holoscreen.

"Right Commander! Sorry about this, Arael..."

Think nothing of it... I'll be back, 'said' a melodious, telepathic voice over everyone else's minds. With that, Asuka fired her positron cannon and destroyed the Angel with a single shot.

"That was fun!"
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#10
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
"... That's the Second Child?"

"Yes. Yes she is," Misato sighed.

- - - -

An Asuka who takes after Osaka from Azumanga Daioh.
:blink: OK. That could be interesting... and I could still see her pulling a "Hey, I'm bored. Let's kiss!" (or even "Hey, I'm bored. Wanna f*ck?") on Shinji.
 

Hawk

Well-Known Member
#12
As crack this idea could be hilarious. However to make this a serious premise for a fic would be difficult, especially as I see Gendo offing her to put a less random variable in even if she was a great pilot. Just say that no other pilot can make the eva synch at all, and that the attempts to extract the soul and switch have failed and it is a bit more believable though. Probably needs some more justification than that though.
 
#17
There was a demotivator that described the difference between ADD and ADHD, using Osaka and Tomo as examples.

That said, THE MADNESS!
 

Konous

Well-Known Member
#18
*Stops....Pauses for a while*

*Thinks*

*Pops a Guiness*

BRILLIANT!
 
#21
A little RP The EroSennin and I did.

*After rescuing her from the Eighth Angel...*

Asuka: SHINJIIIII! *KER-GLOMP* Thank you for saving me! Wanna have sex?

Shinji: What?

Asuka: Is there something wrong with your hearing? Maybe you have some LCL in your ears. I had that problem before, it was difficult to hear until I cleared them out!

*Shinji just stared*

Asuka: Anyway, what was I talking about...? Oh yes! Sex! Want to have it with me?

Shinji: Uhhh...

Asuka: You're not gay are you? It's okay if you are, but it does make it hard for me to reward you with my body.

Shinji: I-I don't want that!

Asuka: So you're gay? YAY! We can talk about boys and do our nails together...!

Shinji: I'm not gay!

Asuka: Oh good! So, we can have sex then?

Shinji: NO!

Asuka: *blinks* Awww... Why not? Am I ugly? Are you not into redheads?

Shinji: No, it's not that!

Asuka: Are you Misato's sex slave? It seems to me she should pay you with money or sex for all you do for herà

Shinji: No, no, no!

Asuka: Oh. Are you already in a relationship? Perhaps with Rei?

Shinji: *Groans* I'm not in a relationship!

Asuka: So why can't we have sex then? *She puffs out her cheeks*

Shinji: B-because I j-just don't want to!

Asuka: Oh. Okay. Can we have ice cream then?

Shinji: Uh...y-yes.

Asuka: Yay! *Skips off* C'mon Shinji, Misato! I want ice cream!

Misato: ...

Shinji: I...I don't even know...

Misato: Well Shinji, I have to say, I am impressed. Not too many boys would turn down an offer like that.... Nor too many girls take it that well...

*Of course, things would only get weirder from there...*

Asuka: *Skips into the kitchen in the morning, wearing absolutely nothing* Good morning, Shinji~!

Shinji: Oh Good Morning AsukaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Asuka: *blinks* Is something wrong?

*He covers his eyes*

Shinji: ASUKA! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!

Asuka: Eh? Why? It's too hot to wear anything.

Shinji: You can't be naked around guys!

Asuka: Why not?

Shinji: ...W-why not!?

Asuka: I've never seen a law against it. Except for public nudity. But that doesn't apply because we're not in public.

Shinji: It's just improper! P-put some clothes on!

Asuka: I don't want to. I want to be comfortable! *She wiggles her chest and giggles* Besides! It feels good to let my breasts free! Honestly Shinji, you're so high strung. You need to relax!

Shinji: *Nosebleeds and flees, running into the wall as he tries to stagger out*

Asuka: *Looks hurt*

*Later...*

Asuka: Honestly, I don't know what's going on with him! He's always telling me I'm acting improper, or weird, or saying things like "Get dressed" or "Don't run into traffic!"

Rei: ...

Asuka: *sighs* Do you know what's wrong with him, Wondergirl?

Rei: ... Perhaps he is upset about your behavior.

Asuka: Why?

Rei: You are...unusual.

Asuka: Really? *She tilts her head* Hmmm... I guess I may have inadvertently offended him... Maybe I should do something nice for him to make it up to him! What do you think I should do, Wondergirl? Speaking of, that's the most awesome nickname I could think of for you, do you like it? I like it! I think it's great! Wondergirl! Wondergirl! Wondergirl! Wondergirl! I like saying it, do you like saying it?

Rei: No.

Asuka: *sad* Ohà What were we talking about again? ... Oh, right. What should I do to make things up to Shinji?

Rei: Perhaps you should appeal to his interests.

Asuka: Okay... Hmà *Thinks* I don't think cooking and cleaning count exactly as interests, do they? Oh! How about eating? I love to eat! Everyone has interest in eating.

Rei: Specific interests.

Asuka: Hmmm... I need to do research! Excuse me Wondergirl! Thank you! *Runs off* DR. AKAGI! EXCUSE ME!

Ritsuko: Oh God, the bimbo.

Asuka: I have a question!

Ritsuko: Yes?

Asuka: What are Shinji's interests?

Ritsuko: He likes the cello.

Asuka: ... Anything else?

Ritsuko: Not that I know of.

Asuka: Wow. That's boring. Hmmm... Oh! I know! I'll just find ways to interest him in more interests! I'm brilliant! Thank you Doctor! *She runs off*

Maya: ... How is it she can pilot so well, and outside of her Eva, she's...?

Ritsuko: Ever hear of the term "Idiot Savant"?

Maya: ... Ahhh.

Asuka: Hmmm... But what else could I interest Shinji in? I don't know... What am I interested in-Oooohhh... *She stares at Gendo's beard*

Gendo: ...

Asuka: ... Are you Amish, Commander? I've never met an Amish person before, did you raise barns? When you did manual work when the power was out you looked like you were right at home was it more difficult or less difficult than raising a barn?

Gendo: What are you talking about?

Asuka: Oh wait, what am I talking about? Oh yes! I was trying to come up with a way to make things up to Shinji, do you have any advice on that? Oh wait, didn't I already do that? I'm fairly sure I did...

Gendo: What my son has interest in, is of no concern to me so long as it does not interfere with his duty as a pilot.

Asuka: ... Would hockey interfere with that? What about cricket? Would cricket interfere in his duties?

Gendo: This conversation is over. *He walks away*

Asuka: Awww...
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#23
It still amuses me.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#24
Serious Excel vibes here. Maybe two personalities, one fight crazy Asuka when she's in an Eva and a ditz Asuka outside.
 
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