Harry Potter Alternate Teachers for Hogwarts
- Thread starter bissek
- Start date
Dumbledork wouldn't let Dominic anywhere near that school, and neither would anyone else of relative power in the series. Well, if they knew what he could do. Dominic's probably not above anyone else's level strength-wise, but the PTBs have waaaaay too many secrets to want him around.
Not to mention the psychoplanar pimpslap that would result from the first attempt at legillimency.
So, if he concealed his abilities, maybe, if not, they'd keep him waaaaaaay the hell away.
DADA Teacher Lina Inverse. After all, she's faced a dark god multiple times, who better to teach you to defend yourselves from dark magic?
Franken Fran at the Nurse's station. Don't know her that well, but well enough to know it would end badly.
Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Madame Mim for Transfiguration. Yes, she's still around. For some reason, the thought of Archamedies dropping in to critique everyone amuses me as well.
Edward Elric for potions. Who else expects Malfoy will be the first person that calls him short? Come to think of it, wasn't alchemy an elective? That might be better.
Better yet, Angela as potions teacher. Her sense of humor alone would be worth it. Not to mention the mischief Solemnbum would get into, possibly involving Mrs. Norris and McGonagall-Cat. "Now, the next ingredient is the eye of a frog." "Um, Professor? The books says eye of toad." "There are no toads, only frogs."
Care of Magical Creatures... Ascot :snigger: Of Magic Knight Rayearth.
Charms... Nagato Yuki. Finally, Hermione meets a bigger bibliophile.
Not to mention the psychoplanar pimpslap that would result from the first attempt at legillimency.
So, if he concealed his abilities, maybe, if not, they'd keep him waaaaaaay the hell away.
DADA Teacher Lina Inverse. After all, she's faced a dark god multiple times, who better to teach you to defend yourselves from dark magic?
Franken Fran at the Nurse's station. Don't know her that well, but well enough to know it would end badly.
Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Madame Mim for Transfiguration. Yes, she's still around. For some reason, the thought of Archamedies dropping in to critique everyone amuses me as well.
Edward Elric for potions. Who else expects Malfoy will be the first person that calls him short? Come to think of it, wasn't alchemy an elective? That might be better.
Better yet, Angela as potions teacher. Her sense of humor alone would be worth it. Not to mention the mischief Solemnbum would get into, possibly involving Mrs. Norris and McGonagall-Cat. "Now, the next ingredient is the eye of a frog." "Um, Professor? The books says eye of toad." "There are no toads, only frogs."
Care of Magical Creatures... Ascot :snigger: Of Magic Knight Rayearth.
Charms... Nagato Yuki. Finally, Hermione meets a bigger bibliophile.
I submit Killy from Blame! as the new DADA teacher.
Harry learns an important lesson: There is no problem large enough that it cannot be solved by the deft application of a Gravitron Beam Emitter.
Light Yagami as librarian.
Alternatively, DADA as taught by a member of the Technocracy.
Ancient Runes taught by Indiana Jones.
Harry learns an important lesson: There is no problem large enough that it cannot be solved by the deft application of a Gravitron Beam Emitter.
Light Yagami as librarian.
Alternatively, DADA as taught by a member of the Technocracy.
Ancient Runes taught by Indiana Jones.
DADA and History (of Magic) of the World by the GEoM. There is literally no man more experienced for either of these roles.
Alternatively, DADA by Emiya Shirou/Archer/Counter-Guardian EMIYA with ideals renewed. ("What is this 'Imperious' curse you speak of? Mind control? Doesn't matter, my mind will never waiver from Justice. 'Crucitatus' curse? Atrocious pain and convulsions? Doesn't matter, this broken body of mine can still move. 'Killing' Curse? Instant kill? Might be a problem, but it still has to hit me and a wall of steel will stop it cold.")
History of Magic by Urza the Planeswalker. ("Hmm, this text seems biased. Give me a minute. *Opens time portal* *Comes back* Alright, so here is how it really happened...")
Alternatively, DADA by Emiya Shirou/Archer/Counter-Guardian EMIYA with ideals renewed. ("What is this 'Imperious' curse you speak of? Mind control? Doesn't matter, my mind will never waiver from Justice. 'Crucitatus' curse? Atrocious pain and convulsions? Doesn't matter, this broken body of mine can still move. 'Killing' Curse? Instant kill? Might be a problem, but it still has to hit me and a wall of steel will stop it cold.")
History of Magic by Urza the Planeswalker. ("Hmm, this text seems biased. Give me a minute. *Opens time portal* *Comes back* Alright, so here is how it really happened...")
Commodore Guff from Magic: the Gathering as the librarian.
This is the man who created an entire plane of existence shaped like a giant library, with an entrance on Dominaria, filled with nothing but books, who KNOWS he's a character in a book, and who actually has every book that has ever been printed, is being printed and will ever be printed. Including the books holding the fate of creation.
The only reason why he isn't the most broken bastard in the Planes of Dominaria is because he's a loony old man who's too busy fawning over his books to care about little things like the end of the world. Urza had to bribe him with the only book he hadn't collected yet in order to get him to help against Phyrexia at all...
Also note that Guff was the reason why Phyrexia lost. Originally, Yawgmoth was supposed to WIN, but Guff found the book holding the destiny of Dominaria and discreetly erased some rather... important... parts. Yawgmoth was literally beaten by an old codger with an eraser, not by Urza's convoluted plan. :rofl:
This is the man who created an entire plane of existence shaped like a giant library, with an entrance on Dominaria, filled with nothing but books, who KNOWS he's a character in a book, and who actually has every book that has ever been printed, is being printed and will ever be printed. Including the books holding the fate of creation.
The only reason why he isn't the most broken bastard in the Planes of Dominaria is because he's a loony old man who's too busy fawning over his books to care about little things like the end of the world. Urza had to bribe him with the only book he hadn't collected yet in order to get him to help against Phyrexia at all...
Also note that Guff was the reason why Phyrexia lost. Originally, Yawgmoth was supposed to WIN, but Guff found the book holding the destiny of Dominaria and discreetly erased some rather... important... parts. Yawgmoth was literally beaten by an old codger with an eraser, not by Urza's convoluted plan. :rofl:
GenocideHeart said:
Commodore Guff from Magic: the Gathering as the librarian.
This is the man who created an entire plane of existence shaped like a giant library, with an entrance on Dominaria, filled with nothing but books, who KNOWS he's a character in a book, and who actually has every book that has ever been printed, is being printed and will ever be printed. Including the books holding the fate of creation.
The only reason why he isn't the most broken bastard in the Planes of Dominaria is because he's a loony old man who's too busy fawning over his books to care about little things like the end of the world. Urza had to bribe him with the only book he hadn't collected yet in order to get him to help against Phyrexia at all...
Also note that Guff was the reason why Phyrexia lost. Originally, Yawgmoth was supposed to WIN, but Guff found the book holding the destiny of Dominaria and discreetly erased some rather... important... parts. Yawgmoth was literally beaten by an old codger with an eraser, not by Urza's convoluted plan. :rofl:
This is the man who created an entire plane of existence shaped like a giant library, with an entrance on Dominaria, filled with nothing but books, who KNOWS he's a character in a book, and who actually has every book that has ever been printed, is being printed and will ever be printed. Including the books holding the fate of creation.
The only reason why he isn't the most broken bastard in the Planes of Dominaria is because he's a loony old man who's too busy fawning over his books to care about little things like the end of the world. Urza had to bribe him with the only book he hadn't collected yet in order to get him to help against Phyrexia at all...
Also note that Guff was the reason why Phyrexia lost. Originally, Yawgmoth was supposed to WIN, but Guff found the book holding the destiny of Dominaria and discreetly erased some rather... important... parts. Yawgmoth was literally beaten by an old codger with an eraser, not by Urza's convoluted plan. :rofl:
Mic dundee for care of magical creatures.
Deckard Cain for magical history.
Wilson wilson Jr. for muggle studies.
Crazy Dave for Herbology.
Atrus for librarian.
Dr. Rudolph Van Richten for DADA.
Grounds keeper Willy replaces Filch
Deckard Cain for magical history.
Wilson wilson Jr. for muggle studies.
Crazy Dave for Herbology.
Atrus for librarian.
Dr. Rudolph Van Richten for DADA.
Grounds keeper Willy replaces Filch
