Harry Potter Alternate Teachers for Hogwarts

[Flamewolf]

Muggle Studies Teacher: Tim "The Toolman" Taylor

accursed hivemind, i was about to post that

 

[endev8003]

Nanoha Takamachi as DADA teacher.

As an added bonus, she'll redeem Snape (and a couple of others) with generous applications of befriending.

 

[MWkillkenny84]

No, Nanoha is the new Headmistress of Hogwarts.
Who is the DADA Theacher?
Fate.

Another option: we TFFers replace the canon Hogwarts Staff.

 

[Bashful]

I'd like to see HK-47 as the Muggle Studies Teacher. B)

 

[Oni_kawaii]

Hogwarts Headmaster = Timothy Hunter

That would be intresting.
Pitty there will never be movies for Books of magic and Hunter age of magic.

No, Nanoha is the new Headmistress of Hogwarts.
Who is the DADA Theacher?
Fate.

Another option: we TFFers replace the canon Hogwarts Staff.

Sounds like fun but who would get what job?

 

[Crusader]

My idea for the Headmaster of Hogwarts would be a mysterious old woman calling herself Kreia a.k.a. the philosophical Sith Lord Darth Traya, Lord of Betrayal.

 

[Shoblast]

Transfiguration teacher.. Elaine Belloc?

overkill, heh.

 

[Mechatrill]

Divination Teacher: Pram the Oracle

After all, sometimes you just need to fake it.

 

[Professional Cynic]

Headmaster: Tzeentch

that is all

 

[FanboyimusPrime]

Muggle Studies Teacher: Solid Snake

DADA teacher: Doctor Druid

Transfiguration teacher: Sersi

Groundskeeper: The Poopsmith

 

[Shoblast]

I'd rather the groundskeeper be Sizemore.

 

[roting_CORPSE]

DADA Prof. Meisuke "Nube" Nueno

can be seen regularly chatting up the schools Ghost populace

 

[GenocideHeart]

Are there any teachers covering illusion magic?

If not, I nominate Ixidor of Otaria, Reality Shaper extraordinaire, from M: tG. He's the one who created Akroma, among other things, and whose illusions were so potent they actually had a solid shape.

Yes, Akroma is technically an Illusion, not an Angel. Go figure... :snigger:

Also, for absolutely everything he feels like teaching: Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind, also from M: tG. Of course, there's that little problem about him being the smartest being on Ravnica, and possibly in other planes as well. He's so smart, in fact, he makes an entire guild of mad scientists look like a bunch of brain-damaged illiterate morons.

On the flip side, he's a teacher everyone would respect. Hard to not respect a 50 feet tall dragon wizard who's smarter than everyone else in Hogwarts thrown together and multiplied by a magnitude or two.

 

[Ringmaster]

Replace Mrs. Norris with Greebo

To the rest of the world he was an enormous tomcat, a parcel of incredibly indestructible life forces in a skin that looked less like a fur than a piece of bread that had been left in a damp place for a fortnight. Strangers often took pity on him because his ears were nonexistent and his face looked as though a bear had camped on it. They could not know that this was because Greebo, as a matter of feline pride, would attempt to fight or rape absolutely anything, up to and including a four-horse logging wagon. Ferocious dogs would whine and hide under the stairs when Greebo sauntered down the street. Foxes kept away from the village. Wolves made a detour.

 

[Li Qin]

Replace Mrs. Norris with Greebo

To the rest of the world he was an enormous tomcat, a parcel of incredibly indestructible life forces in a skin that looked less like a fur than a piece of bread that had been left in a damp place for a fortnight. Strangers often took pity on him because his ears were nonexistent and his face looked as though a bear had camped on it. They could not know that this was because Greebo, as a matter of feline pride, would attempt to fight or rape absolutely anything, up to and including a four-horse logging wagon. Ferocious dogs would whine and hide under the stairs when Greebo sauntered down the street. Foxes kept away from the village. Wolves made a detour.

Horse is better.

 

[Ringmaster]

Replace Mrs. Norris with Greebo

To the rest of the world he was an enormous tomcat, a parcel of incredibly indestructible life forces in a skin that looked less like a fur than a piece of bread that had been left in a damp place for a fortnight. Strangers often took pity on him because his ears were nonexistent and his face looked as though a bear had camped on it. They could not know that this was because Greebo, as a matter of feline pride, would attempt to fight or rape absolutely anything, up to and including a four-horse logging wagon. Ferocious dogs would whine and hide under the stairs when Greebo sauntered down the street. Foxes kept away from the village. Wolves made a detour.

Horse is better.

Horse did not eat two vampires.

Edit for accuracy: Greebo killed two vampires, but only ate one of them.

 

[That Shark Which Was Jump]

Yukari Yakumo teaching every class to every house and every year at the same time by manipulating the boundaries between periods, houses and years for maximum efficiency and minimum impact on Dumbledore's wallet.

 

[endev8003]

Another interesting option is Simbul from Forgotten Realms, especially during 6th and 7th year.

She's likely to start hunting down DE's for fun. And maybe she'll ask her sisters to join in on the fun

 

[GenocideHeart]

The Simbul hates unnecessary conflict, unless you personally and heavily insult her. Her going out of her way to hunt Death Eaters would be very OOC.

Elminster, now... I swear, sometimes the guy is LOOKING for fights.

 

[Masterwindu487]

From the Dresden Files, Injun Joe as the Transfiguration teacher.

 

[GenocideHeart]

DADA teacher: Jon Irenicus.

Failing his class is NOT an option. It'd be like saying he failed to teach you, and Irenicus isn't fond of failure, to say the least.

 

[endev8003]

The Simbul hates unnecessary conflict, unless you personally and heavily insult her. Her going out of her way to hunt Death Eaters would be very OOC.

Elminster, now... I swear, sometimes the guy is LOOKING for fights.

As I recall, Simbul was well known for her berserker rages, although she calmed down with Elminster. She also goes for overkill to make her enemies fear her.

I also recall something about hunting Red Wizards with her sisters, but that might be from a fic.

Edit: The red wizard hunting is from a fic, Realms Ch 7 by Jeffrey Vasquez

To the Simbul's mind, hunting Red Wizards was the true sport of queens, and Alassra had long since perfected it.

 

[FH_Meta]

How about Carmen Sandiego for Muggle Studies?

I gurantee it'd be a very interesting class.

Full of rare insights.

On the other hand, who knows what she'd do. Steal the glimmer of Gringott's gold? Abscond with a bit of Wizarding History? Rob the banks of the river Nile? (oh, wait, she did that.)

 

[MWkillkenny84]

The Captains and Lieutenants of the Gotei 13 substitute the Hogwarts staff!!!

 

[Lord of Bones]

The Simbul hates unnecessary conflict, unless you personally and heavily insult her. Her going out of her way to hunt Death Eaters would be very OOC.

Elminster, now... I swear, sometimes the guy is LOOKING for fights.

As I recall, Simbul was well known for her berserker rages, although she calmed down with Elminster. She also goes for overkill to make her enemies fear her.

I also recall something about hunting Red Wizards with her sisters, but that might be from a fic.

Edit: The red wizard hunting is from a fic, Realms Ch 7 by Jeffrey Vasquez

To the Simbul's mind, hunting Red Wizards was the true sport of queens, and Alassra had long since perfected it.

She was told to calm down by Mystra herself due to it, though. She's also extremely worried about Szass Tam's plans, since the Death Moon Orb prevents anyone from scrying into his domain at Thaymount.

To be utterly fair, at least Szass is much more rational than the Simbul - at least, prior to the 4E mess. Lich he may be, but he's also a calm, civilized fellow.