Harry Potter Alternate Teachers for Hogwarts

[Da-Guru]

He does it as a favor to Dumbledore. In return, Dumbledore is helping Arthur keep that road from getting built through his home.

I'd love to see him answering student's questions.

"What's at the end of the universe?" "A restaurant."

"How do you fly without a broom?" "I hurl myself headlong at the ground and miss."

"What's the meaning of life?" "Well, that's a tricky question. If you'd asked for the 'answer' to life, the universe, and everything, I'd say it was 42."

And I'd love to see the Dementors react to Arthur, since he has both the question and the answer to life, the universe, and everything in his subconscious.

 

[DhampyrX2]

Thor as DADA professor.

Dr. Stephen Strange (old school version that's not an Illuminati douche) for History of Magic.

Loki for Transfiguration.

Silver Surfer teaching the Flying course.

Tony Stark teaching Muggle Studies.

Doctor Victor von Doom teaching Ancient Runes



Go on Voldemort. Mess with Hogwarts. I dare you.

 

[Horseman]

You know I have to agree with an author on ffnet kyugan the best at teaching DADA is thouse of the dark themselves ie: Vergil dmc

 

[Da-Guru]

Well, I have another couple of ideas for professors, both with the same last name.

Professor Jean Colbert, The Flame Snake

Professor Stephen T. Colbert, Paragon of Truthiness

 

[Hunter 1]

Well, I have another couple of ideas for professors, both with the same last name.

Professor Jean Colbert, The Flame Snake

Professor Stephen T. Colbert, Paragon of Truthiness

Someone's already written the second one.

 

[whitewhiskey]

Professor Huey Freeman-Telling the true history untainted by government conspiracies and manipulation.

 

[Da-Guru]

Well, I have another couple of ideas for professors, both with the same last name.

Professor Jean Colbert, The Flame Snake

Professor Stephen T. Colbert, Paragon of Truthiness

Someone's already written the second one.

Yeah, I just found <a href='http://www.eskimo.com/~vecna/truthiness.html' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>"Harry Potter and the Eagle of Truthiness."</a>

So that just leaves Jean Colbert, the Flame Snake.

 

[half baked cat]

Granny Weatherwax to teach Divination (AKA Headology).
The Red Baron (or Snoopy) to teach Flying.
Austin Powers to teach Muggle Studies (AKA Sex Ed).
Jack Churchill (Mad Jack or Fighting Jack) as the DADA teacher. Lesson one, how to play the bagpipes into battle. Lesson two, no matter what, an officer must be properly dressed. Lesson three, an officer without a sword is not properly dressed. Lesson four, the bow and arrow. Lesson five, fighting in a kilt and how to be a true badass.

 

[seitora]

Bill S. Preston and Ted Theodore Logan for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

They managed to defeat a time traveller after all. Party on dudes!

 

[scriviner]

"CLEARLY DOOM SHALL TEACH DEFENSE AGAINST DARK ARTS FOR WHO WOULD KNOW MORE OF THE FELL DEPRAVITIES OF MAGIC THAN DOOM HIMSELF!"

"Well... there certainly seems to be no question about your qualifications or pedigree, Lord Doom, but how would you balance time between a teaching career and ruling your own nation?"

"DOOMBOTS, OBVIOUSLY."

 

[half baked cat]

Squirrel Girl for DADA.

 

[seitora]

The God-Emperor of Man as the Headmaster.

Ohshi-

 

[Hardcore Heathen]

The God-Emperor of Man as the Headmaster.

Ohshi-

That...would end Hogwarts pretty quickly. Burn the witch and all.

And that's if we don't even port in all the setting rules about psykers and the warp and stuff. Because oh fuck balls, imagine a Potterverse where every jinx could summon a daemon.

 

[IofTheBunny]

The God-Emperor of Man as the Headmaster.

Ohshi-

That...would end Hogwarts pretty quickly. Burn the witch and all.

And that's if we don't even port in all the setting rules about psykers and the warp and stuff. Because oh fuck balls, imagine a Potterverse where every jinx could summon a daemon.

They turn it into turn based strategy combat/duel.

Wizards did more illogical stuff, so that is not much of a stretch.

Imagine the golden trio in search of the legendary Four.

Ron catches/manages to summon Slaanesh, Hermione gets Tzeentch, and Harry is saddled Khorne.

Dumbledore keeps exclusive right to summon Nurgle, by the virtue of having the Deathstick.