Amusing fanfiction quotes

zeebee1 · Nov 27, 2011

I never liked that part. If I had any talent at writing fanfiction I'd write a continuation where Shamal revealed that every other unattached female, including Vivio, and possibly Caro, fell for Yuno.

PCHeintz72 · Nov 27, 2011

zeebee1 said:

Yuno is not all that appealing of a character... though I rate him higher than Chrono.

zeebee1 · Nov 27, 2011

But that just leaves the midget.

ragnarok1337 · Nov 27, 2011

Looking for Chrono/Nanoha fics now. They aren't that far apart in age. He's what, 14 at the beginning of the original series? That's only a 4 year difference. Of course, a several-year timeskip after A's would make it be much less squicky.

zeebee1 · Nov 28, 2011

He was also practically married when he first showed up.

ragnarok1337 · Nov 30, 2011

zeebee1 said:

Not really. She had a crush on him, but it seemed like he wasn't reciprocating. Anyway, moving on.

From the Evangelion/Marvel crossover fic <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7479420/8/Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_Valkyrie' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Neon Genesis Evangelion: Valkyrie</a>.

Prince Charon · Dec 1, 2011

zeebee1 said:

Well, there's Zaphira and Vice.

Really, though, that section was not a good one. Many other sections, yes, but not that one.

ragnarok1337 · Dec 4, 2011

"Father has called a meeting of his family and the head officials," Moses replied, heading for the door. "There are rumors that Kratos, scourge of Greece, has been spotted within Egypt's borders."

Yes. THAT Moses.

Cornuthaum · Dec 4, 2011

(<a href='http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/814155141_3dnYd-L.jpg[/img]

toraneko · Dec 4, 2011

ragnarok1337 said:

For the record, Chrono most definitely did reciprocate; he and Amy were very close in the academy, and he had a thing for her before we even see him on screen for the first time. He just didn't show it during all of his screentime in seasons 1 and 2 because:
A. he was trying to maintain a professional atmosphere, something rather difficult when you're serving on a ship captained by your mother and helmed by the object of your affections, and
B. he spent the rest of his screentime fighting.

Shiakou · Dec 4, 2011

ragnarok1337 said:

Good luck killing a god who has modern-day lawyers on his side.

zeebee1 · Dec 5, 2011

Once again i see no link.

shit_happens23 · Dec 5, 2011

zeebee1 said:

The first time was probably an accident but now I think he does it just to screw with you zeebee. Denying you the links you so crave probably brings him such immense pleasure that if he was in public he would be arrested for gross indecency. Clearly we are dealing with an evil mastermind of incalculable cunning. We must slay him quickly before he grows too bold and goes beyond not posting links and starts actively impeding others from handing out their own. We are at the precipice gentlemen, DEATH OR GLORY!!

ragnarok1337 · Dec 5, 2011

shit_happens23 said:

zeebee1 said:

The first time was probably an accident but now I think he does it just to screw with you zeebee. Denying you the links you so crave probably brings him such immense pleasure that if he was in public he would be arrested for gross indecency. Clearly we are dealing with an evil mastermind of incalculable cunning. We must slay him quickly before he grows too bold and goes beyond not posting links and starts actively impeding others from handing out their own. We are at the precipice gentlemen, DEATH OR GLORY!!

Impressive bit of sarcasm that is right there.

grant · Dec 5, 2011

What sarcasm? I just gave the sniper the go-ahead.

zeebee1 · Dec 6, 2011

ragnarok, get off your high horse. You have a low riding skill.

So post the link already. I want to see how bad the actual story is so I have the excuse to properly mock you.

ragnarok1337 · Dec 6, 2011

zeebee1 said:

I never said it was a good story, just that I found the quote ridiculous and amusing. And what high horse? Because I spared you from reading a bad fanfic? Because I expressed my amusement at 23's comment? WHatever, though. If you want a link to a bad fanfic, just remember; you asked, so any mocking is redirected at you.

www.fanfiction.net/s/7442342/1/

zeebee1 · Dec 7, 2011

I mock your bad taste for even looking in that link.

You have been suitably chastised.

Shiakou · Dec 7, 2011

*Insert exasperated, mildly snide comment addressed towards zeebee here*

*Insert vaguely complimentary phrase regarding ragnarok's choice of avatars here*

zeebee1 · Dec 7, 2011

*Insert comment so awe inspiring you will forever worship me as you lord and master here.*

ragnarok1337 · Dec 8, 2011

From chapter 17 of <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6859461/17/I_Put_On_My_Robe_And_Wizard_Hat' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>I Put on My Robe and Wizard Hat.</a> One of the best FSN fanfics I have ever read, both Epic and Hilarious. For context, Shirou is trying to convince Illya's duplicate to get Heracles to help out in their fight.

'Alright,' If Ilyasviel wasn't going to fall to the A-Game. 'Time for THE-Game.'

Shirou promptly switched his brain off and let every heard and seen bit of movie trivia fill his throat. It apparently had worked well for him a few times before...

"Shame on you, Lady Einzbern." Shirou arrogantly tutted and wagged a finger at the silver haired girl. "This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of you!"

"H-hey! You're making me sound like the bad guy here!" Ilyasviel yelped. She nearly fell forward, but Herakles' hand gently grasped and pulled her back.

"Well, I'm not going home. We've come too far!" Shirou shook his head angrily. His hands trembled as he placed them on his chest. "And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. A day may come when the courage of men fails... but it is not THIS day."

Kiritsugu gave out a tired sigh. He knew where this was going.

"The line must be drawn HERE!" Shirou shouted, reinforcing his body, and reached to pick up the halberd on the ground. He turned and ran outside. Bemused, the crowd went after him.

"This far, no further!" Shirou continued, and with a sweep of his arms, he slashed a line on the ground outside on the lawn of the castle. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You're going to work harder than you ever worked before. But that's fine, we'll just get tougher with it!"

On a morbid level, Kiritsugu wondered if this was how Shirou had gotten his daughter's virginity. Both Saber and Ilyasviel's eyes began to shimmer.

"If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination, failure is not an option. That's how winning is done!" Shirou turned and shook the halberd at them with one arm. Electricity sparked and raced along his body as he focused on Herakles. "Believe me when I say we can break this army here, and win just one for the Gipper. But I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time: you've got to get mad. I mean plum mad dog mean!"

Herakles smirked in barely concealed mirth. Shirou turned towards Saber now with a look just shy of plain deranged faith.

"If you would be free, then you must fight to fulfill that promise! Let us cut out their living guts one inch at a time, and they will know what we can do!" Shirou rushed up to her and took her hand in his. Saber sputtered as he drew close. "Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions!"

"...yes! Yes we are!" Saber's sudden booming declaration caused Kiritsugu to slap his face. Caren covered her lips with her hand to hide her blooming smile.

"Hey! What about me!" Ilyasviel replied, feeling ignored all of a sudden.

"You're like a big bear, Lady Einzbern!" Shirou stabbed the halberd into the earth. He quickly moved to capture Ilyasviel's hands in his. "This is YOUR time! Seize the day, never surrender, victory or death... that's the Fuyuki Way!"

"...okay!" Ilyasviel went bright red. She let out a delighted laugh when Shirou picked her up in his arms and turned to present his profile to the others.

"Who's with me?" Shirou roared. At that moment, a massive pillar of prana exploded towards the heavens. The earth trembled beneath their feet when a large mass of corrupt power blasted past them. Ilyasviel shrieked as she buried her face into Shirou's neck.

"HURRAH!" Saber and Herakles shouted as they raised their weapons. Caren had a rather twisted grin on her face. Kiritsugu faintly smirked.

"Alright!" Shirou's free hand grasped the halberd and wrenched it out of the earth. "Let's fly!" A secondary burst of energy shot upwards into the night sky, and exploded in a brilliant burst of light. The sparkles remaining formed words.

All right chums, time's up, let's do this.

'...magnificent bastard.' With those words, it all clarified in Shirou's slightly frayed state of mind.

One of the most epic quotes in fanfiction history.

MastaofBitches · Dec 8, 2011

...Is it strange that the part of that which grabs my attention the most, is the part that says Shirou scored Ilya's virginity?

ragnarok1337 · Dec 8, 2011

MastaofBitches said:

Ilya--OUR Ilya, not her alternate self--in this story is aged-up to around Shirou's age..

Lord Raine · Dec 8, 2011

Cornuthaum said:

Kratos vs Jesus is the Boss Battle That Never Ends. Jesus won't fight, because his is the way of peace, and Kratos can't kill him and make him say dead.

. . . you know, maybe the Olympians could have survived if they had just manipulated Kratos into being pissed at Jesus. Put the two of them in a room or something and then just leave. Problem solved.

chronodekar · Dec 8, 2011

Lord Raine said:

For some reason I am reminded of this wonderful bastard quote,

<a href='http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HumansAreWarriors' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fuck with the human race!</a>

So .... shall we ALL just consider Kratos non-human and get him? :evil:

-chronodekar

Amusing fanfiction quotes

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