"So now we have Haruhi's evil, lesbian clone on top of all the stuff we have to deal with."
"That's right."
I resisted the urge to sigh and tried to come up with a solution.
"So the first thing we obviously have to do is figure out a way to tell them apart."
"Yes." Koizumi agreed. "Our best minds have been working on that for some time now. According to them, the easiest way is to observe the two Haruhis' behavior and see which one is the clone."
"The clone will betray herself through her actions?"
"That's our best bet. For example, we know the clone is evil. She will most likely set us to working on her latest unreasonable scheme to extend her influence over the world. And if we refuse, she's likely to come up with bizarre punishments ranging from the cruel and unusual to those threatening the destruction of the world."
". . . I see. And the lesbian part?"
"We think that she will outrightly display a tendency, if not an obsession, with female accessories."
"In other words, we can count on her to molest Asahina-san here all the time?"
Asahina-san paled and meeped in distress. My apologies.
"That is so."
". . . Ah. What do you think, Nagato?"
". . . There is a 98.67345% chance that we have had a clone from the start as well."
Koizumi's smile strained but held.
"That would not be an unreasonable conclusion."