Bleach Bleach Time Loops
- Thread starter Innortal
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Since everyone liked the 'peenee' joke...
ôCanÆt I stay here?ö purred/whined Rangiku.
ôUh à no,ö Ichigo offered the busty Lieutenant, as the group of Shinigami in gigai met in his room. Seriously, why couldnÆt they stay at UraharaÆs? He has a freaking huge cave below his place! He couldnÆt give them a room? Soul Society never considered where to put their people?
Blinking innocently, Rangiku went to undo a few buttons.
ôThat wonÆt work,ö Ichigo stated blandly.
She then went to lift up her skirt.
ôGAH!ö Ichigo cried, internally smirking. ôListen, buddy; IÆm sure the sex change was good and all, but I donÆt want to see your dangly parts again!ö
ôDangly parts?ö muttered Ikkaku.
ôAgain?ö asked Yumichika.
Ichigo just blinked, ignoring the glare that Rangiku had fixed on him. ôUm, yeah,ö Ichigo stated. ôSomeone was handing these out at school after you guys arrived,ö he stated, pulling out a picture he had used earlier in the Loop.
What could he say? They had a 2-for-1 special.
Yanking it from his hands, Rangiku hissed as an aura of red fire formed over her. ôThe bastards donÆt know when to quit,ö she spat, looking at what she claimed was a doctored nude photo of her à complete with added male genitalia.
She had thought that over, thought she had tortured those behind releasing them in Soul Society during the Ryoka Invasion.
Actually, she had just assumed Aizen had used it for some reason as part of his seemingly complex distraction to keep people from noticing his plots. After all, none of the Ryoka had known about themùand were very willing to tell her anything after seeing them.
Well, except for Orihime, who kept asking why she was showing people her dangly.
But, it was a very nice dangly.
ôThe entire school, you say?ö asked Ikkaku, not liking where this may be going. ôWho did they look like?ö
Ichigo just shrugged. ôNo clue, wore a cloak, hid in shadows, distorted voice, theyùURK!ö His random description was cut off as Rangiku grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall.
ôYou will tell me everything you know,ö she stated in a quiet voice. ôFail to answer, I will end you.ö
ôRangiku!ö Hitsugaya called out, sliding in from the window as he felt his LieutenantÆs spiritual pressure increase dramatically. ôPut him down!ö
ôI WILL HAVE ANSWERS!ö shouted Rangiku. ôI DO NOT HAVE A PENIS!ö
ôà IÆll come back later, Big Brother,ö Yuzu said quietly, setting a plate of snacks on a nearby table and closing the door.
ôWell, that could have gone better,ö Yumichika dryly offered.
ôSo much for subtle,ö Ikkaku offered. ôAnd people say our division is the violent, aggressive one.ö
ôRangiku, put him down now,ö Hitsugaya demanded.
ôHe hasnÆt given me answers, Captain!ö
ôHe canÆt, because you have such a strong chokehold on him, heÆs about to end up in Soul Society!ö
ôà Oh!ö she replied, dropping Ichigo to the ground.
Now, as he lay there trying to gather very critical oxygen into his lungs, Ichigo was forced to come to an important decision: could he leave a trail for Rangiku to follow, eventually pushing her to unimaginable heights of rage, or find some way to simply let it drop.
ôHe also had something like a Zanpakut? strapped to his back, but he didnÆt seem to feel like a shinigami.ö
Well, was it really a berserker if you pointed them at the proper target. Besides, if he knew her well enough, Rangiku would try to æacquaintÆ him with proof that she was all-woman down there.
He could also spot her soul candy dispenser in her skirt pocketùhell, he didnÆt even know they had pockets, and he had been dragged by Orihime, Tatsuki, and their friends shopping in one Loop.
So, if she decided to shove his face æliterallyÆ in the proof, well, he could keep this joke going until Xcution showed up.
<hr>
ôAAAAHHHHHHHH!ö Ichigo cried, running out of his room.
ôIT WAS MY SOUL CANDY DISPENSER!ö Rangiku cried out, holding it in the air.
ôà Why did we bring her?ö Hitsugaya asked himself, rubbing his forehead. ôIn fact, why is she running free while Momo is locked in the psych ward?ö
ôCanÆt I stay here?ö purred/whined Rangiku.
ôUh à no,ö Ichigo offered the busty Lieutenant, as the group of Shinigami in gigai met in his room. Seriously, why couldnÆt they stay at UraharaÆs? He has a freaking huge cave below his place! He couldnÆt give them a room? Soul Society never considered where to put their people?
Blinking innocently, Rangiku went to undo a few buttons.
ôThat wonÆt work,ö Ichigo stated blandly.
She then went to lift up her skirt.
ôGAH!ö Ichigo cried, internally smirking. ôListen, buddy; IÆm sure the sex change was good and all, but I donÆt want to see your dangly parts again!ö
ôDangly parts?ö muttered Ikkaku.
ôAgain?ö asked Yumichika.
Ichigo just blinked, ignoring the glare that Rangiku had fixed on him. ôUm, yeah,ö Ichigo stated. ôSomeone was handing these out at school after you guys arrived,ö he stated, pulling out a picture he had used earlier in the Loop.
What could he say? They had a 2-for-1 special.
Yanking it from his hands, Rangiku hissed as an aura of red fire formed over her. ôThe bastards donÆt know when to quit,ö she spat, looking at what she claimed was a doctored nude photo of her à complete with added male genitalia.
She had thought that over, thought she had tortured those behind releasing them in Soul Society during the Ryoka Invasion.
Actually, she had just assumed Aizen had used it for some reason as part of his seemingly complex distraction to keep people from noticing his plots. After all, none of the Ryoka had known about themùand were very willing to tell her anything after seeing them.
Well, except for Orihime, who kept asking why she was showing people her dangly.
But, it was a very nice dangly.
ôThe entire school, you say?ö asked Ikkaku, not liking where this may be going. ôWho did they look like?ö
Ichigo just shrugged. ôNo clue, wore a cloak, hid in shadows, distorted voice, theyùURK!ö His random description was cut off as Rangiku grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall.
ôYou will tell me everything you know,ö she stated in a quiet voice. ôFail to answer, I will end you.ö
ôRangiku!ö Hitsugaya called out, sliding in from the window as he felt his LieutenantÆs spiritual pressure increase dramatically. ôPut him down!ö
ôI WILL HAVE ANSWERS!ö shouted Rangiku. ôI DO NOT HAVE A PENIS!ö
ôà IÆll come back later, Big Brother,ö Yuzu said quietly, setting a plate of snacks on a nearby table and closing the door.
ôWell, that could have gone better,ö Yumichika dryly offered.
ôSo much for subtle,ö Ikkaku offered. ôAnd people say our division is the violent, aggressive one.ö
ôRangiku, put him down now,ö Hitsugaya demanded.
ôHe hasnÆt given me answers, Captain!ö
ôHe canÆt, because you have such a strong chokehold on him, heÆs about to end up in Soul Society!ö
ôà Oh!ö she replied, dropping Ichigo to the ground.
Now, as he lay there trying to gather very critical oxygen into his lungs, Ichigo was forced to come to an important decision: could he leave a trail for Rangiku to follow, eventually pushing her to unimaginable heights of rage, or find some way to simply let it drop.
ôHe also had something like a Zanpakut? strapped to his back, but he didnÆt seem to feel like a shinigami.ö
Well, was it really a berserker if you pointed them at the proper target. Besides, if he knew her well enough, Rangiku would try to æacquaintÆ him with proof that she was all-woman down there.
He could also spot her soul candy dispenser in her skirt pocketùhell, he didnÆt even know they had pockets, and he had been dragged by Orihime, Tatsuki, and their friends shopping in one Loop.
So, if she decided to shove his face æliterallyÆ in the proof, well, he could keep this joke going until Xcution showed up.
<hr>
ôAAAAHHHHHHHH!ö Ichigo cried, running out of his room.
ôIT WAS MY SOUL CANDY DISPENSER!ö Rangiku cried out, holding it in the air.
ôà Why did we bring her?ö Hitsugaya asked himself, rubbing his forehead. ôIn fact, why is she running free while Momo is locked in the psych ward?ö
I am surprised Ichigo did not set up more for Rangiku.
By that some story is told, before the current Incarnation of Rangiku came to be known, there was once a Beautiful woman that was in love with a Playboy, the Playboy was involved with lots of Beautiful Women, One day the Playboy got involved with the wrong woman, she cursed him.
He lost his memories and his rightful male body, the Beautiful Woman that was in love with him also lost hers, switching their bodies.
Every once in a while, when Sexually 'excited', the right 'Junk' will briefly appear, to remind them of what was lost.
So the one that is spreading pictures is his/ her old flame? Attempting to break the curse on the bewitched Rangiku? The More she denies it, the stronger the enchantment is?
Who knows, the story may gain a life of it's own?
Just a crack story thought to keep it rolling.
By that some story is told, before the current Incarnation of Rangiku came to be known, there was once a Beautiful woman that was in love with a Playboy, the Playboy was involved with lots of Beautiful Women, One day the Playboy got involved with the wrong woman, she cursed him.
He lost his memories and his rightful male body, the Beautiful Woman that was in love with him also lost hers, switching their bodies.
Every once in a while, when Sexually 'excited', the right 'Junk' will briefly appear, to remind them of what was lost.
So the one that is spreading pictures is his/ her old flame? Attempting to break the curse on the bewitched Rangiku? The More she denies it, the stronger the enchantment is?
Who knows, the story may gain a life of it's own?
Just a crack story thought to keep it rolling.
Ichigo sighed heavily. Another day, another Loop. Same old, same old.
He'd Awakened when Rukia had appeared in his room once again; not having had time to set up the "Rukia the Voyeur" scenario (which Looping Rukia would join in on), he'd simply gone with his backup of accusing her of attempted robbery for old times' sake.
He'd owned Fishbone D, as usual. There'd been a few times where he'd been replaced by something really nasty... like Ranma. Fortunately, this wasn't one of those times.
He'd even had time to release Zangetsu in private; he didn't get that very often these days.
His first hint that something was different was coming home the second day to find a note on his bed:
Stealth run.
-N.S.
"...the fuck?!"
--------
The invasion of Soul Society went more-or-less as planned, with the sole exception of Soi Fon wearing a lieutenant's badge instead of the Second Division Captain's haori.
Ichigo, who had, incidentally, agreed to swap places with Uryu this time (the Chad switch had been interesting, so why not?), found himself blurting out, "I thought you were a Captain."
"I WAS a Captain," Soi Fon growled. "Then some half-wit knocked me out during training and stole the haori. When I find him, he's DEAD."
Uryu fingered the grip of his zanpakuto (Ichigo had no idea how he'd talked him into THAT one). "Does anyone know what he looks like?"
Soi Fon snorted. "Even the Commander hasn't seen him, and we've had several captains' meetings since then."
Chad whistled. "He's good."
"My turn. How did you know I used to be a Captain?" Soi Fon demanded.
Ichigo's group looked at each other briefly, then chorused, "Urahara."
He'd Awakened when Rukia had appeared in his room once again; not having had time to set up the "Rukia the Voyeur" scenario (which Looping Rukia would join in on), he'd simply gone with his backup of accusing her of attempted robbery for old times' sake.
He'd owned Fishbone D, as usual. There'd been a few times where he'd been replaced by something really nasty... like Ranma. Fortunately, this wasn't one of those times.
He'd even had time to release Zangetsu in private; he didn't get that very often these days.
His first hint that something was different was coming home the second day to find a note on his bed:
Stealth run.
-N.S.
"...the fuck?!"
--------
The invasion of Soul Society went more-or-less as planned, with the sole exception of Soi Fon wearing a lieutenant's badge instead of the Second Division Captain's haori.
Ichigo, who had, incidentally, agreed to swap places with Uryu this time (the Chad switch had been interesting, so why not?), found himself blurting out, "I thought you were a Captain."
"I WAS a Captain," Soi Fon growled. "Then some half-wit knocked me out during training and stole the haori. When I find him, he's DEAD."
Uryu fingered the grip of his zanpakuto (Ichigo had no idea how he'd talked him into THAT one). "Does anyone know what he looks like?"
Soi Fon snorted. "Even the Commander hasn't seen him, and we've had several captains' meetings since then."
Chad whistled. "He's good."
"My turn. How did you know I used to be a Captain?" Soi Fon demanded.
Ichigo's group looked at each other briefly, then chorused, "Urahara."
Ichigo walked into the pillar-filled room Uryu had told him he usually fought one of the Privaron Espada in, one hand on Zangetsu and the other on Uryu's Quincy cross thingy (which had been lent to him for the Switch Loop they were in the middle of). Any second now, Cirucci would be attacking him and Pesche, who had followed him just as he usually did Uryu.
Well, that is, she would be if she weren't currently bound in shibari, gagged, shackled, and hung from the ceiling in significantly less clothing than she normally wore, anyway. Confused, Ichigo took a better look around than his cursory glance to determine where he was... and spotted the Exequias nailed to the pillars by their own swords driven through their faces.
He shrugged before beginning to pass through. As he walked by Cirucci, however, he noticed that someone had written on her rope-clad posterior. Ignoring her incoherent complaints (or were they? Kinda hard to tell with that gag), he leaned in closer to read.
The stealth run continues! Behold the amazing stripping shadow! ...or not- it's a STEALTH RUN, after all, so you'll only see the aftermath.
-N.S.
"That idiot... Why is he even doing this 'stealth run' thing anyway? And why would he stop to do THIS?" Ichigo sighed heavily. "I swear, that kid's a pervert."
--------
Elsewhere, three figures had just finished tying the unconscious Halibel and her Fraccion together- face to crotch for the more "modest" ones while the bustier ones wound up in what was commonly referred to as the "Symmetrical Docking" position, just for perversion.
"Heh, wasn't expecting my son to come up with something like this," one commented, adjusting his haori.
"I blame Rakan," the second protested as he pulled a black marker out.
"I wonder where Ranma is right now..." the female of their number mused.
"Whatever. Can we just assassinate Aizen and the blind hypocrite before we get too sidetracked and get spotted?" the second demanded quietly as he finished writing.
"You know, until the Loops started I never thought I'd do something as dishonorable as an assassination," the woman pointed out.
"We're ninjas. It's what we do," the men replied simultaneously.
"Well, at least we are since that Naruto loop," the oldest of the trio amended. "And why a stealth run? You're not exactly the stealthiest guy around, Looper or not. Why'd you suggest it, Dad?"
"I felt like it."
----------------
I left it a bit too vague in the first post, I'll admit. I could think of three people with those initials offhand... so I decided that the punchline was that they're ALL in on this stealth run.
The "sneaking around" part being Nagi's idea I didn't quite expect, though. :huh.:
Come to think of it, though, did I reveal who N.S. referred to a bit too soon...? :sweat:
Well, that is, she would be if she weren't currently bound in shibari, gagged, shackled, and hung from the ceiling in significantly less clothing than she normally wore, anyway. Confused, Ichigo took a better look around than his cursory glance to determine where he was... and spotted the Exequias nailed to the pillars by their own swords driven through their faces.
He shrugged before beginning to pass through. As he walked by Cirucci, however, he noticed that someone had written on her rope-clad posterior. Ignoring her incoherent complaints (or were they? Kinda hard to tell with that gag), he leaned in closer to read.
The stealth run continues! Behold the amazing stripping shadow! ...or not- it's a STEALTH RUN, after all, so you'll only see the aftermath.
-N.S.
"That idiot... Why is he even doing this 'stealth run' thing anyway? And why would he stop to do THIS?" Ichigo sighed heavily. "I swear, that kid's a pervert."
--------
Elsewhere, three figures had just finished tying the unconscious Halibel and her Fraccion together- face to crotch for the more "modest" ones while the bustier ones wound up in what was commonly referred to as the "Symmetrical Docking" position, just for perversion.
"Heh, wasn't expecting my son to come up with something like this," one commented, adjusting his haori.
"I blame Rakan," the second protested as he pulled a black marker out.
"I wonder where Ranma is right now..." the female of their number mused.
"Whatever. Can we just assassinate Aizen and the blind hypocrite before we get too sidetracked and get spotted?" the second demanded quietly as he finished writing.
"You know, until the Loops started I never thought I'd do something as dishonorable as an assassination," the woman pointed out.
"We're ninjas. It's what we do," the men replied simultaneously.
"Well, at least we are since that Naruto loop," the oldest of the trio amended. "And why a stealth run? You're not exactly the stealthiest guy around, Looper or not. Why'd you suggest it, Dad?"
"I felt like it."
----------------
I left it a bit too vague in the first post, I'll admit. I could think of three people with those initials offhand... so I decided that the punchline was that they're ALL in on this stealth run.
The "sneaking around" part being Nagi's idea I didn't quite expect, though. :huh.:
Come to think of it, though, did I reveal who N.S. referred to a bit too soon...? :sweat:
Prince Charon:
The woman is Nodoka Saotome; yes, I brought Ranma's mother into the loops.
Oh, and in case anyone didn't figure it out, the others are Nagi Springfield (the new Squad 2 captain) and Negi Springfield (who is doodling on the female Arrancar). Due to the Loops, Negi is older than his own father, kinda like most Anchors.
zeebee1:
From what I've read, one of the ways to become a Captain is to beat your predecessor in front of a certain number of their subordinates. Nagi didn't just steal her coat, he whacked her over the head and knocked her out in front of her entire division; that they didn't see him in the process is ignored in favor of my amusement.
Besides, Squad 2 is basically Soul Society's ninja squad, so they probably wouldn't mind too much that the culprit ambushed her- after all, that's what the squad's FOR. They're probably more annoyed that they don't know who their new captain is than anything.
The woman is Nodoka Saotome; yes, I brought Ranma's mother into the loops.
Oh, and in case anyone didn't figure it out, the others are Nagi Springfield (the new Squad 2 captain) and Negi Springfield (who is doodling on the female Arrancar). Due to the Loops, Negi is older than his own father, kinda like most Anchors.
zeebee1:
From what I've read, one of the ways to become a Captain is to beat your predecessor in front of a certain number of their subordinates. Nagi didn't just steal her coat, he whacked her over the head and knocked her out in front of her entire division; that they didn't see him in the process is ignored in favor of my amusement.
Besides, Squad 2 is basically Soul Society's ninja squad, so they probably wouldn't mind too much that the culprit ambushed her- after all, that's what the squad's FOR. They're probably more annoyed that they don't know who their new captain is than anything.
For all we know the "formal challenge" thing could just be an 11th Division thing; they specialize in straight fights, after all. 2nd Division, on the other hand, specializes in ASSASSINATION, of which a large factor is surprise, so they may not do that.
As to doing the work, while Soi Fon still handles their training, Nagi does, at least, show up to the meetings and do the paperwork; he just does it in such a way that nobody SEES him.
Refusing to let anyone see you isn't THAT crippling of a personal quirk. I mean, Soul Society's attitude seems to be "As long as the work gets done and you don't actively betray us, we don't care about your personal habits."
Incidentally, I'd like to counter your argument about doing your job with the fact that Shunsui Kyoraku has NOT been fired. He's SPECTACULARLY reluctant, to the point that Nanao has to nag him before he'll do anything. If I was in charge, I wouldn't let him be a captain, badass or not.
As to doing the work, while Soi Fon still handles their training, Nagi does, at least, show up to the meetings and do the paperwork; he just does it in such a way that nobody SEES him.
Refusing to let anyone see you isn't THAT crippling of a personal quirk. I mean, Soul Society's attitude seems to be "As long as the work gets done and you don't actively betray us, we don't care about your personal habits."
Incidentally, I'd like to counter your argument about doing your job with the fact that Shunsui Kyoraku has NOT been fired. He's SPECTACULARLY reluctant, to the point that Nanao has to nag him before he'll do anything. If I was in charge, I wouldn't let him be a captain, badass or not.
No, I caught that, but Yamamoto doesn't strike me as the type to let his personal feelings get in the way of his job- if he felt someone wasn't fit for his position, he'd demote them, friend or not.
Anyway, for purposes of this particular Loop, that method of becoming Captain can be summarized as "be better than the current Captain at their squad's specialty," or "Beat them at their own game" for short.
Anyway, for purposes of this particular Loop, that method of becoming Captain can be summarized as "be better than the current Captain at their squad's specialty," or "Beat them at their own game" for short.