Since everyone liked the 'peenee' joke...
ôCanÆt I stay here?ö purred/whined Rangiku.
ôUh à no,ö Ichigo offered the busty Lieutenant, as the group of Shinigami in gigai met in his room. Seriously, why couldnÆt they stay at UraharaÆs? He has a freaking huge cave below his place! He couldnÆt give them a room? Soul Society never considered where to put their people?
Blinking innocently, Rangiku went to undo a few buttons.
ôThat wonÆt work,ö Ichigo stated blandly.
She then went to lift up her skirt.
ôGAH!ö Ichigo cried, internally smirking. ôListen, buddy; IÆm sure the sex change was good and all, but I donÆt want to see your dangly parts again!ö
ôDangly parts?ö muttered Ikkaku.
ôAgain?ö asked Yumichika.
Ichigo just blinked, ignoring the glare that Rangiku had fixed on him. ôUm, yeah,ö Ichigo stated. ôSomeone was handing these out at school after you guys arrived,ö he stated, pulling out a picture he had used earlier in the Loop.
What could he say? They had a 2-for-1 special.
Yanking it from his hands, Rangiku hissed as an aura of red fire formed over her. ôThe bastards donÆt know when to quit,ö she spat, looking at what she claimed was a doctored nude photo of her à complete with added male genitalia.
She had thought that over, thought she had tortured those behind releasing them in Soul Society during the Ryoka Invasion.
Actually, she had just assumed Aizen had used it for some reason as part of his seemingly complex distraction to keep people from noticing his plots. After all, none of the Ryoka had known about themùand were very willing to tell her anything after seeing them.
Well, except for Orihime, who kept asking why she was showing people her dangly.
But, it was a very nice dangly.
ôThe entire school, you say?ö asked Ikkaku, not liking where this may be going. ôWho did they look like?ö
Ichigo just shrugged. ôNo clue, wore a cloak, hid in shadows, distorted voice, theyùURK!ö His random description was cut off as Rangiku grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall.
ôYou will tell me everything you know,ö she stated in a quiet voice. ôFail to answer, I will end you.ö
ôRangiku!ö Hitsugaya called out, sliding in from the window as he felt his LieutenantÆs spiritual pressure increase dramatically. ôPut him down!ö
ôI WILL HAVE ANSWERS!ö shouted Rangiku. ôI DO NOT HAVE A PENIS!ö
ôà IÆll come back later, Big Brother,ö Yuzu said quietly, setting a plate of snacks on a nearby table and closing the door.
ôWell, that could have gone better,ö Yumichika dryly offered.
ôSo much for subtle,ö Ikkaku offered. ôAnd people say our division is the violent, aggressive one.ö
ôRangiku, put him down now,ö Hitsugaya demanded.
ôHe hasnÆt given me answers, Captain!ö
ôHe canÆt, because you have such a strong chokehold on him, heÆs about to end up in Soul Society!ö
ôà Oh!ö she replied, dropping Ichigo to the ground.
Now, as he lay there trying to gather very critical oxygen into his lungs, Ichigo was forced to come to an important decision: could he leave a trail for Rangiku to follow, eventually pushing her to unimaginable heights of rage, or find some way to simply let it drop.
ôHe also had something like a Zanpakut? strapped to his back, but he didnÆt seem to feel like a shinigami.ö
Well, was it really a berserker if you pointed them at the proper target. Besides, if he knew her well enough, Rangiku would try to æacquaintÆ him with proof that she was all-woman down there.
He could also spot her soul candy dispenser in her skirt pocketùhell, he didnÆt even know they had pockets, and he had been dragged by Orihime, Tatsuki, and their friends shopping in one Loop.
So, if she decided to shove his face æliterallyÆ in the proof, well, he could keep this joke going until Xcution showed up.
<hr>
ôAAAAHHHHHHHH!ö Ichigo cried, running out of his room.
ôIT WAS MY SOUL CANDY DISPENSER!ö Rangiku cried out, holding it in the air.
ôà Why did we bring her?ö Hitsugaya asked himself, rubbing his forehead. ôIn fact, why is she running free while Momo is locked in the psych ward?ö