RE: The Only Thing Worse Than a Wild Horse is a Wild B
It seems that the new forum doesn't like my old posts. So I shall repost what I have for this chapter here to see if it works better.
If it doesn't then, we may have a problem for future shipments of juice tins.
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Exit, Pursued by a Bear
By Lord Raa
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Disclaim-me-do: Entropy always increases.
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Part 4
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At dinner, Soun cleared his throat. When he had everyone’s attention, he made an announcement.
“I wanted to take this opportunity to say that Ranma will be attending Furinkan with Akane and Nabiki,†the moustachioed man said with a smile on his face.
“What? You mean I have to go to school with that monster?†the middle Tendo sister demanded, pointing angrily at Ranma.
“Monster?†the part-time bear repeated, clearly upset by Nabiki’s tone.
“You turn into a bear! What else am I supposed to call you?†Nabiki asked.
“You could call him ‘Ranma’, you know, his name,†Shampoo replied, glaring angrily at Nabiki.
“He’s dangerous and I don’t want him in the house!â€
Akane might not have liked the idea of a boy staying in the house, but she couldn’t help but feel that her sister was being a bit unreasonable.
“Then he’ll live in the dojo,†Soun replied, hoping to sound like he’d come up with a wise solution to the problem.
“What about bathing?†Ranma asked, rightly feeling put out by the apparent restrictions being put on him.
“They hose down animals at the zoo, don’t they?†the mercenary girl sniped.
“Cold water comes out of hoses. Cold water turns Ranma into a bear,†Shampoo countered, pointing out the idiocy of Nabiki’s irrational suggestion.
“Err… yeah,†Akane nodded. “You say you’re scared of bears, but you want to keep Ranma as a bear? That makes no sense.â€
“What makes no sense is that you suddenly changed your tune and now you want a boy to stay with us,†Nabiki shot back, becoming flustered at the situation. “You love Ranma or something?â€
Soun blinked, having watched the conversation bounce back and forth between the girls at the table. “Wait, what? Akane, are you willing to get married to Ranma now?â€
“She seems to be sticking up for him now…†the middle sister smirked as she left the table.
“Hey!†the Tendo heir shouted. “Nobody said anything about getting married to Ranma!â€
“Speak for yourself,†Shampoo replied. “I’m quite happy to get married to Ranma.â€
“Well, yes, we know that, Shampoo,†Genma said, smiling patronisingly.
Kasumi finished eating and placed her bowl and chopsticks down on the table. “I’ve just had a thought.â€
“Oh?†Ranma asked, curious as to what Kasumi could be thinking.
“Well, what if we adopted Shampoo into the Tendo family? She could then marry Ranma without any problems.â€
“But what about the dojo?†Soun asked.
“Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that,†the homemaker admitted. “But why are you so concerned about the dojo now? You didn’t seem this bothered last month.â€
“Well… the thing is…†the moustachioed man stalled as he tried to word his response as something other than ‘it’s to avoid a massive tax bill’. He looked towards his old training partner for help.
Genma nodded in acknowledgment before responding. “Is it so wrong for a man to want to see his children get the best out of life? To be able to help them out with his years of experience should they need it? What parent wouldn’t want to see his children make a success of the family business?â€
“You make a compelling argument, Pops,†Ranma said, theatrically wiping away an imaginary tear. “But you’re still hiding something from us. How can we agree to such a proposal without the proper risk analysis?â€
“Wha-?†the balding man was cut off by the splash of cold water hitting him in the face.
“What about the risk analysis?†the part time bear repeated. “You want us to take over the dojo, but you won’t tell us why it’s suddenly so urgent. Mr. Tendo didn’t care about it a month ago, yet when I arrive, suddenly it’s the most important thing in the world. Why? Are people going to come looking to claim the dojo as their own?â€
“Or worse, us?†Akane asked, recalling how the engagement with Ranma had surprised her and her sisters.
“You’re right, Ranma,†Genma nodded as his cursed form considered the implications of threats of force. “Tendo-kun, we must look at the risks of forcing one of your daughters to marry Ranma just to avoid the inheritance tax on the home and dojo.â€
“Yes, you look at those risks,†Ranma said as Soun winced at his friend’s words. “We’ll help clear the table.â€
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After the table was cleared, Ranma decided that is was time for his evening practice in the dojo. Shampoo had opted to join him, taking the opportunity to join in the balance practice. It wasn’t that the Tendos had made her feel unwelcome, but there was something about the sisters that gave her pause.
Nabiki’s random outbursts and rants about how Ranma was a monster and a danger to everyone were getting to be tiresome.
Akane didn’t hate Ranma or at least, she tolerated him and his curse. Not that it meant that the youngest Tendo was enthusiastic about the prospect of being engaged to him, but Shampoo suspected that Akane’s reluctance was more to do with her father’s surprise announcement.
The one who seemed to be warmest towards Ranma was the eldest, Kasumi. Though they had only been at the Tendo home for a mere day, it was clear that it was Kasumi that looked after things. So perhaps she was just being a good host?
Shampoo took a break from standing on a thin strip of wood that had been raised off the floor, as she looked around she spotted Kasumi standing in the doorway with a tray of teacups.
The brunette was staring at the way Ranma had been doing one-handed push-ups in the handstand position.
The Amazon also noticed that Kasumi’s face seemed a bit redder than normal.
“Is everything alright?â€
“I... yes, it’s just the steam from the tea,†the homemaker insisted weakly. “I thought that you might like some refreshment.â€
“Thank you,†Ranma said, flipping himself onto his feet. He approached Kasumi and bowed politely before taking the cup nearest to him. “Wait a minute, is this tea...?â€
Shampoo froze, holding her cup centimetres from her lips. She looked questioningly at the object of her affection. “What about the tea?â€
Kasumi’s expression turned to one of horror at the implication that it was anything less than her usual standard. After a moment, the mischievous twinkle in the part-time bear’s eyes made her realise that Ranma was making a reference to a joke he made earlier.
“Please, Mr. Saotome,†the brunette said, trying to calm her flustered voice. “If I wanted you out of the way, do you really think we would be standing here talking?â€
Ranma let out a chuckle. “I guess not, Kasumi Tendo. Or should I say ‘Mistress Terror’?â€
“Oh-ho-ho-ho,†Kasumi laughed daintily in reply. “Just because you know my codename, do not think that you know all of my plans. Now, continue your practice. I would hate for your inevitable demise to be boring.â€
“Very well, Mistress Terror. Come on Shampoo, it’s time to put on a display that will impress our host here.â€
Shampoo nodded as she handed her teacup back to Kasumi.
The two martial artists worked through a complicated pattern of kicks and punches against invisible enemies as Kasumi looked on.
The homemaker seemed to approve of the skill that was on display. Or at least, she seemed to approve of the way Ranma’s musculature flexed as he twisted and turned during his battle against imaginary fighters.
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In her room, Nabiki was angrily plotting to be rid of the troublesome Saotomes. Shampoo wasn’t so bad, though she seemed a little unsophisticated compared to her peers.
‘Maybe she’s from a small village in the middle of nowhere?’ the short-haired Tendo mused. ‘Not that it matters. If I can get rid of Ranma, she’ll follow him.’
Given the nature of the Jusenkyo curse, it was unlikely that she could guarantee that Ranma would be in his bear form long enough for anyone to take him seriously as a threat. She knew that the moment she called for help, Ranma would get some hot water and turn back into his normal body, making her look foolish or crazy.
No, Ranma’s curse would require independent verification from a reliable source.
‘Perhaps Doctor Tofu could be of help?’
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Soun and Genma sat opposite each other at the go board.
“Saotome-kun, this is a troubling situation,†the long haired man said solemnly.
“I know, Tendo-kun. I can understand your desire to ensure the Tendo family legacy.†The portly man placed a piece on the board. “I believe that move wins me the game.â€
“How did you?†Soun asked, unsure of how he’d managed to lose the game so rapidly. He shook his head in an attempt to focus on the issue at hand. “Yes, we need to explain to our children the importance of this union.â€
Genma closed his eyes as he pondered the situation. “Nabiki has already made it clear that she wants nothing to do with Ranma. But all is not lost since you have two other daughters. However...â€
“What do you mean ‘however’?â€
“It will take some time to train Akane to the point where she can defeat Shampoo in combat.â€
“Yes, I fear that I might have been too soft when it comes to her training,†the widow lamented.
“That said,†Genma mused, “the elders in Shampoo’s village know that there’s more to being a wife than just being able to fight.â€
“What do you mean, Saotome-kun?â€
“Shampoo is here to prove that she’s the best candidate for Ranma’s hand in marriage. There are two things that are important to in Shampoo’s village – martial prowess and the ability to run a home. Akane is the best option for fighting, Kasumi already does the cooking here.â€
“You mean Kasumi would take part in cooking challenges?†Soun asked. He looked off into the distance and his mouth started to water at the prospect of Kasumi pulling out all the stops with her cooking. “... I think that we must go with this two-pronged plan, Saotome-kun.â€
“I agree, Tendo-kun. At the very least, it will buy us the time we need to get Akane in a position to challenge Shampoo.â€
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Akane had just finished reading her magazine. She glanced at her clock and realised that if she wanted to get a good night’s sleep before her training session with Genma Saotome, it was time for her to turn in.
“I wonder if Saotome-san and Daddy always had to get up this early when they were training?†she pondered aloud as she set her alarm for 5:30.
It had been a while since Akane had gotten up that early herself, and that was for a school trip. As she prepared her gi and school uniform for the next day she realised that she needed to clean her teeth.
Leaving her room, she was surprised to see Nabiki skulking around.
“Is something wrong, Nabiki?â€
“I’m just making sure Ranma isn’t around here.â€
“By pretending to be a burglar?â€
“No,†the short-haired Tendo replied, clearly infuriated by her sister’s inability to see the real threat. “I have to keep an eye out for him.â€
“And you can’t do this by walking around normally?â€
“No!†Nabiki replied. “Because he’s a bear! He’ll try to eat me if I disturb him!â€
Akane let out a sigh. There were good reasons to not want Ranma in the house – he was a boy; their fathers wanted them to get married, so who knew what kind of stunts would be pulled. But the way Nabiki was acting, you’d think Ranma was a demon-bear unleashed from the deepest pits of Hell.
Sure, turning into a bear when splashed with cold water was weird, but if you were polite to Ranma, he was polite back. It was only when you started to antagonise him that he went out of his way to be mean.
“Alright, Nabiki, continue to sneak around like a burglar. I’ve got to brush my teeth and go to bed. Some of us have to get up at 5:30.â€
The middle sister remembered why Akane and her father was going to be up at that ungodly hour and shuddered. “Why would you want to be up at 5:30 in the morning when you could be asleep in a nice warm bed?â€
“Because if you want to get better at something, you have to make sacrifices. If I don’t put in the effort, I can’t improve as a martial artist.â€
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Kasumi was surprised to see her father approach her just as she was going to turn in.
“Ah, Kasumi, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.â€
“Oh, what’s that, Father?â€
“Well, it’s about the legacy of the Tendo dojo,†the moustachioed man said. It took most of his strength to maintain his facade of wisdom and authority.
Kasumi nodded. She knew that the dojo meant a great deal to her father, even though he had no current paying students. “What can I do to help, Father?â€
“Well, it’s about Shampoo and her challenge...â€
“I can’t interfere with a matter of honour, Father, it wouldn’t be right,†the homemaker insisted sternly.
“I would never dream of asking you to do anything improper, Kasumi,†Soun replied, aghast at the implication of skulduggery.
“Then what did you mean?â€
“I... Well, there’s more to running a dojo than just being a skilled martial artist. While Akane is a skilled martial artist...â€
Kasumi nodded, knowing full well what her father was alluding to. It was in Akane’s nature to try hard in everything she did. Unfortunately, this enthusiasm often got the better of her and she didn’t always pay attention to what she was doing and her cooking was... not good, to put it politely.
“So you want me to challenge Shampoo to the domestic aspects?â€
“Yes,†the long-haired man nodded happily. “It would also give us a chance to step up Akane’s training.â€
Kasumi nodded again, the match earlier had shown just how badly outclassed Akane had been by Shampoo. And Ranma had been even more impressive, even as a bear.
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