Naruto Funny Fanfic quotes

[Solarman]

Gaara simply nodded and then disappeared in a whirlwind of sand and then reappeared in front of Sasuke. His eyes are like mine. He lives for himself and to gain power. I will kill him and feed his blood to mother. Yes, she will love that and call me a good boy.

You know IÆm a good boy and wonÆt disappoint you.

Tobi!Gaara?!?!?!?

From chapter 21 of Brown Eyes meets Blue

(bolded for emphasis)

 

[akun50]

Edit: removed.

 

[roting_CORPSE]

From Icha Icha Paradise: The True Story

"What kind of movie are they actually planning to make with that...I doubt it's a action movie...or comedy..." Naruto replied as he followed Jiraiya.

"Yo...what are you doing here?" Naruto heard suddenly from behind him, making him jump up. Naruto turned around and saw a red haired boy wearing a black robe and having a huge sword on his back.

"Don't sneak up on me like that...and I could ask you the same...And also...Why are you dressed up like that, Gaara?" Naruto asked.

"The people of this studio gave me a call..." Gaara replied.

"Still doesn't explain why you are like that." Naruto replied confused.

"Well I thought they said they needed me for a Bleach scene and get my ass over here A.S.A.P...So I quickly put on my shinigami outfit grabbed my huge ass sword and ran towards the studio...Only to find out that they needed me for a Beach scene...I needed to create the sand..." Gaara replied.

"So you are dressed up for nothing." Naruto said nodding.

"Well...It did give me permanent acces to this studio...After using my sand to lift the person, who called me, up a few meters." Gaara said nodding.

Same chapter

"Ah who the hell tries to walk in to my room all of a sudden..." The actress said and slowly raised her head. Naruto looked up after rubbing his sore behind and stared at the actress.

"You are..." Naruto said and blinked.

"Fuun-hime!" Naruto yelled and Gaara's eyes widened.

"Na-Naruto! What are you doing here?" Yukie replied.

"I'm here with Ero-sennin to see a movie being ma-" Naruto said but was kicked out of the way by Gaara.

"Fu-fujikaze Yukie! I'm your biggest fan! It's...It's an honor to meet the real you! Ca-can I have an autograph?" Gaara said more energetic then he has ever been as he helped Yukie up.

"My biggest fan?" Yukie said and blinked at the red haired boy.

"Yeah! I like you so much that I even needed to hide it from the world." Gaara replied heavily nodding.

"Hide it?" Yukie asked, confused about all of this.

"Yeah, because my sister and her friends didn't really like me being a fan of you." Gaara replied.

"That's...odd." Yukie replied.

"A-Anyway! C-can I have an autograph?" Gaara asked. Yukie nodded, grabbed one of her signed photo's and quickly handed it over to Gaara.

"Wow! I've finally got a signed photo of my Fujikaze Yukie! I'm so happy that I think I could actually..." Gaara cheered and then suddenly, his head fell down and loud snoring could be heard.

"Is he...okay?" Yukie asked as Naruto walked back over to her.

"...He's sleeping? I thought he said he doesn't sleep." Naruto said confused as Yukie poked Gaara's cheeks to see if he was awake or not.

"I guess he's usually so calm that he stores up energy that he can't sleep...And now after seeing Hime he let all that energy out." Naruto said after giving it some thought.

"Should we leave him here? I really need to get to the set now." Yukie replied.

"I think he's fine like that...Ne, Hime...You aren't the lead actress of Ero-sennin's movie now are you?" Naruto asked.

"There is only one movie being shot here at the moment and that's were I'm lead actress in, but I don't think you..." Yukie said.

"Come on, everyone is waiting for you then! You must hurry! I want to see more of your acting." Naruto interupted as he dragged Yukie along with him. Shortly after Yukie and Naruto had left, Gaara awoken.

"I...slept? That's right Yukie-san was here and..." Gaara said and looked around.

"What! They already left without me! Damn it Uzumaki!" Gaara yelled as he quickly walked out of the dressing room

Same chap. more of gaara ooc hehehe :evil2:

Yukie started pushing her male co-player towards a conviently placed bed and just as they reached the edge of the bed, she started kissing him. The male co-player pulled her with him down on the bed. They shortly broke their kiss and Yukie started unbuttoning her blouse, what was interupted by short kisses between the two. When her bloose was open, Yukie moved her hand down in to her co-player's pants and her co-player moved one of his hand to the back of her back and snapped her bra loose. She tossed it off with one hand and her male coplayer was about to pull her blouse off.

"Cu-Cu-CUT!" Naruto and Gaara yelled as their faces turned blood red.

"Alright cut! Who the hell yelled that!" The director asked as everyone stared at Gaara and Naruto.

"We did!" The two boys yelled.

"Why the hell did you two brats yell that?" The director asked pissed off.

"Because you werea bout to shoot Hime without her clothes!" Naruto yelled.

"I-I...saw...Yu-yukie's..."Gaara said craddling back and forth.

"Kid, do you know what kind of movie this is?" The director asked.

"Naruto I tought you were used to this kind of thing by now." Jiraiya said nodding.

"What! How can I be used to seeing Hime nearly have sex with anyone!" Naruto yelled.

"Ah! You said the s-word..." Gaara said as he plugged his ears with his sand and continued craddling back and forth in his chair.

"...What's up with you?" Naruto asked Gaara, who ofcourse couldn't hear me.

"The memories...they're coming back..." Gaara said as his eyes widened and then he started shivered.

 

[DarkShadowX]

One by one, each of them fell asleep.

Some time during the night, Tobi rolled over and wrapped his arms around ZetsuÆs, startling the plant man awake. Sighing, Zetsu picked up a pillow and eased his arm out of TobiÆs grip, replacing it with the pillow. Then he went back to sleep.

Kisame lay on his front next to Zetsu, facedown against his pillow, sleeping soundly. Next to him, Deidara lay curled up in a tight ball, mumbling something about impressionism, and next to Deidara Kakuzu slept flat on his back, fingers unconsciously tracing dollar signs against his front. Hidan slept with his back against the loveseat, clutching his rosary, and Itachi slept like a vampire, hands folded over his chest, right hand palming a shuriken.

For a few hours, the Akatsuki slept like babies.

Then suddenly, when it was 3:46 AM, everyone woke to the abrupt, loud sound of someone crying out in disgust.

ôOh, hell no.ö

ôWhat the hell is the problem now, Hidan?ö Kisame groaned, clamping his pillow over his head.

ôOkayàokay, seriously,ö HidanÆs disembodied voice sounded from somewhere within the darkness, quavering with fury. ôWhich one of you wet the goddamn bed?ö

ôWhat?ö Deidara croaked, sitting up, his ponytail askew. ôSomeone peed in the bed?ö

ôThe blanket is wet,ö Kakuzu muttered after turning on the lamp, rubbing his eyes and squinting at the comforter they were all lying on. ôAnd cold.ö

Unbeknownst to them, the water was seeping from beneath the curtain against the wall, the one obscuring the door that led to ZetsuÆs greenhouse.

Tobi woke to the sounds of the others grumbling in sleep-fogged voices, sitting up and glancing around to see what the fuss was about.

The Leader was not happy.

ôWhat is going on?ö

ôSir, there seems to be a leak in this room somewhere,ö Zetsu said in bewilderment, feeling the blanket beneath him grow sodden and cold. ôI think itÆs water.ö

TobiÆs blood suddenly ran cold.

The hose he used to water the plants flashed before his eyes. He remembered the vivid image of watering the last plant and dropping the hose in relief when he finished. He remembered his feet splashing against the floor on his way out. He remembered leaving various plant nutrients scattered over the floor. He remembered shutting the door behind him.

He couldnÆt remember turning off the hose.

Before Tobi could say anything, the door behind the curtain groaned in protest, straining against the weight of the water that had accumulated on the steps behind it.

ôWhat the hell was that?ö Kisame said blankly.

There was a moment of silence.

Then the door blew off its hinges.

It was as though a dam had burst. Water came gushing into the room violently, sweeping up the furniture and everyone in the room.

ôGah!ö Tobi was knocked back as the water hit him, pinning him against the sofa. Deidara yelped and attempted to run, but the water hit his legs with enough force to send him toppling onto Kisame. They both hit the water with a mighty splash.

ôItÆs a flood!ö Hidan yelled, sounding horrified as he clung to KakuzuÆs leg, refusing to let go. ôGod is smiting us!ö

The Leader and Itachi merely sat on their respective pieces of furniture, bobbing up and down with the waves of water.

Zetsu grabbed on to ItachiÆs loveseat to stay afloat, looking down at the water and managing to notice an odd, brown substance swirling in the murky depths. It smelled and looked hauntingly familiar.

One of the Cool Kids

 

[akun50]

These are quotes from "Grains of Half-Truths" by Arhke

Sadly, the author hasn't updated in a long time.

Chapter 1 (with Sakura):

"Oh, you're first crush... That's so cute..." Her mother lightly teased.

"Aaaaw... Mother!" Sakura went and blushed.

"I still remember my first crush..." The Haruno matriarch averted her eyes to a time long past.

"It wasn't dad?" Sakura asked. As far as she knew, her mother had dad and onlydad.

"No! I never considered your dad back then!" The reply was a little too hasty for Sakura, though she didn't voice it.

"So then..." Sakura sat up, folding her arms on the table so she could listen to her mother's tale. "What was your first crush like?" The little pink-haired girl was genuinely interested.

"Oh, you never forget your first crush..." Her mother sighed and tilted her head, her eyes becoming all dreamy-eyed.

Sakura had given her mother the moment to let her continue on her own time.

"He was really quiet... And very solemn..." The older female started.

Her daughter nodded her head, liking the idea already.

"He never spoke much, but he had the most alluring gaze..." Sakura's mother continued, speaking softly.

Sakura sighed. The visuals she was getting was starting to take after her beloved.

"He was so... so... intense! He had a strong will and was very much a lone wolf..." The memory brought a smile to her lips.

Oh yes... Sakura had considered that her mother had fallen for a boy much alike her own Sasuke.

"I had brought him lunch everyday and insisted he go out on dates with me... I always had an interest in ninjas, but I knew I didn't have what it takes to become one, so I always insisted that he'd become one!" Her mother had grinned.

"Yeah? And did he for the sake of love?" Sakura asked. Now she had thought of herself in her mother's place and Sasuke being at her side. She was now completely lost in the illusion.

"Why yes he did! In fact, the adminstration had to change the rules because he'd killed all the aspiring genins!" Her mother said.

Sakura paused. The day-dream halted. This sounded awfully familiar in a 'coming back to bite you in the ass' kind of way...

"Oh Zabuza... I always wonder what ever did happen to you, after I moved on out of the Mist..." Sakura's mother sighed and eased back into her chair, taking a sip of her coffee.

This jerked Sakura into shock. Her ideal fantasy of Sasuke in her arms suddenly turned into a tall, scarred and shirtless older man. And even though it was in Sakura's imagination, the missing mist ninja looked as shocked and awkward as she did about it.

Chapter 2 (with Itachi):

"Dad! I accidently watched some anime and everything's all screwed up! I'm not going to no jail!" He called out to them.

"That rule was there for a reason! I put it there for a reason!" His father's voice shouted back.

"For something like this?-!" Itachi screamed.

"The Sharingan is far too powerful for the clan! You knew the full implications of what you've done ever since you started!"

"I had no idea anything like this could happen!"

"Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a 30 second long transformation sequence?-!"

...Weird moment.

"Ummm... Can't say I have..."

"They were all scared of my potential! The star-field backgrounds, the make-up, the knee high boots, the short skirts. Magically, skin-tight uniforms are far superior choices of ninja wear!"

"Ermm..." This was the first of his dad's golden years Itachi had heard of. And the older son was willing to stop hearing it.

"Then there was the posing and long-winded battle cries! In the name of the Moon! It was all perfect then! But THEY feared it... So I had no choice..."

Itachi was feeling as he met his'awkward quota' now and took that end as a sign to further his quest to stop the madness right NOW.

"Dad, I'm coming in so you can fix this before I get into even more trouble!"

Chapter 4 (with Kiba):

Kiba was meeting up with his team today. He drew alot of unnecessary attention. It couldn't be helped.

"Hey guys!"

There were some unenthusiastic returned mumbles. Well, it was Hinata who decided to politely mumble, whilst Shino just chose not to respond at all.

Kiba got closer and waved a hand, greeting Hinata openly.

"Hey Hinata! How're things?" He greeted his female teammate.

Hinata had her fingers interlocked nervously as she looked down to meet his eyes.

"H-hi Kiba. Umm... Things are f-fine." Her voice wavered.

"I've been doing pretty good myself!" Kiba continued the conversation, despite the fact no one asked him his opinion.

A few minutes drew by and she was unable to take it any longer, so Hinata took a step back. It was just too uncomfortable to have a teammate's face that close to your groin.

Kiba didn't notice how uncomfortable he made her and assumed that it was a movement for him to politely greet the other teammate. So he turned to Shino.

"Hey Shino, my man!"

Shino also backed away. He, too, did not appreciate Kiba's face that close to his nether regions. Kiba had let it go as a Shino thing.

Before he could make his teammates more uncomfortable, their teacher had arrived.

Yuuhi Kurenai glanced over Kiba's predicament and an eye twitched.

"Dammit Kiba! I told you to stop that! It's just plain stupid!"

"Is not! I've always carried Akamaru like this!" His same argument everyday for a while.

And thus lay the problem.

When Kiba was twelve, Akamaru was a puppy who either sat in the hood of his jacket or drawled over his shoulders or head. People had complimented him on it and Kiba kept the habit. Now, years down the road, no one ever expected him to keep that particular habit, nor did he really consider Akamaru growing bigger.

So here we are, Kiba hunched over enough so that his face was at people's groin level, while a rather large dog that appeared as heavy as he was, laid on top of him.

If you can picture that, you'll be able to understand how awkward it is for everyone involved.

And if you can't, let's just say it elicits children to remark to their parents how that dog looks to be trying to jump over that man but can't quite get over. Needles to say, their eyes were covered or they were quickly shushed and to not encourage the pervert-man.

Luckily, Kiba is always fully dressed. Thank God for small mercies.

 

[Dumbledork]

Here's a quote... well when I read it I thought "Damn! That makes sense"

It's about why Naruto's wearing orange clothes. I haven't seen this explanation before and it really makes much more sense as the usual explanations.

When he lived in Konoha, he had worn an orange and blue jumpsuit. It wasnÆt because the shop owners would kick him out or they overcharged him or some clichÚd bullshit like that. He simply wore it because it pissed people off to no end. Kyuubi had dark orange fur, and orange was the only color heÆd never seen in a festival or in fireworks. In fact, there were hardly any clothes made of orange. So it automatically clicked! Orange makes people get pissed off!

from 'Lord of Hell' by FlamingBlackDragon

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3776512/2/Lord_of_Hell

 

[Ura Mamoru]

Chibi-Mamoru's scared...

Naruto laughed. "I bet I can fill out that paperwork and get more trash than you, no problem."He turned his head to Sakura. "You in?"

She glanced at him shrewdly, and turned one eye to Sasuke. "There aren't any technique bans in the contest?" The Uchiha shrugged, and Sakura nodded. She leaned in close to Naruto, and the blond felt his heart flutter. There was a look of utter and complete understanding in her eyes. She knew just as surely as he did. "You're not going to lose."

Her confidence in him made his heart pound all the way out of his chest. His breathing shallowed, and all he could do was stare at the way her lips were parted, a small smile tugging at the sides of them. "Sasuke," she continued, "is going to lose." She paused. "To you." She stopped completely for a moment, then she shook her head, her long pink hair flying everywhere. "My god, that's the strangest thing to happen in Konoha since Maito Gai."

"Oh," Naruto interrupted, "You know him too? I just found him walking through the market on his hands a few times. How did you...?" He trailed off, and Sakura sighed.

"My mother's related to him."

There was a great pause.

"My god, I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan." He moved in to clutch her in a great embrace. Seconds later, he was kissing dirt. Idly, he wondered if he should have asked her if she wanted a hug before moving in for the kill.

A Twist of Chance, Chapter 9.

 

[Mighty Bob]

Chibi-Mamoru's scared...

Naruto laughed. "I bet I can fill out that paperwork and get more trash than you, no problem."He turned his head to Sakura. "You in?"

She glanced at him shrewdly, and turned one eye to Sasuke. "There aren't any technique bans in the contest?" The Uchiha shrugged, and Sakura nodded. She leaned in close to Naruto, and the blond felt his heart flutter. There was a look of utter and complete understanding in her eyes. She knew just as surely as he did. "You're not going to lose."

Her confidence in him made his heart pound all the way out of his chest. His breathing shallowed, and all he could do was stare at the way her lips were parted, a small smile tugging at the sides of them. "Sasuke," she continued, "is going to lose." She paused. "To you." She stopped completely for a moment, then she shook her head, her long pink hair flying everywhere. "My god, that's the strangest thing to happen in Konoha since Maito Gai."

"Oh," Naruto interrupted, "You know him too? I just found him walking through the market on his hands a few times. How did you...?" He trailed off, and Sakura sighed.

"My mother's related to him."

There was a great pause.

"My god, I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan." He moved in to clutch her in a great embrace. Seconds later, he was kissing dirt. Idly, he wondered if he should have asked her if she wanted a hug before moving in for the kill.

A Twist of Chance, Chapter 9.

I'm still grinning madly from reading that story, so happy Drakenis posted a link. And yeah, Sakura related to Gai. Scarey thought that.

 

[Innortal]

From Ramen with Love:

"Alright...Now that Tenten's here, I will come out of my room..." Neji replied and a few moments later, Neji pushed his door open and exclaimed with a loud voice, "Behold! The new Neji!"

I was struck with awe.

'The new Neji' had completely knocked the living daylights out of me.

I was at a loss with words and like Hinata and Lee, just gasped at Neji's new looks.

Lee managed to bring out some words, though as usual it was just his thoughts and not mine nor Hinata's thoughts, "E-Eternal Rival Neji...has ascended to Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji!"

Neji had dyed his hair blonde! Totally completely blonde! He could be nicknamed goldy locks now! Words can't describe what kind of effect this would have on the world!

"Yes, that's right Lee..." Neji crossed his arms and smirked, "I have ascended from myself into Super Saiya-..."

Neji abruptly stopped talking and glared at Lee, "I'll kill you..."

"Oooooooooh! Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji! You've become far more powerful than ever before!" Lee exclaimed, "But I will not give up! I will surpass you and become Super Lee! My power of youth will prevail!"

And with that Lee ran off to probably train as hard as he can.

 

[immolo]

From Ramen with Love:

"Alright...Now that Tenten's here, I will come out of my room..." Neji replied and a few moments later, Neji pushed his door open and exclaimed with a loud voice, "Behold! The new Neji!"

I was struck with awe.

'The new Neji' had completely knocked the living daylights out of me.

I was at a loss with words and like Hinata and Lee, just gasped at Neji's new looks.

Lee managed to bring out some words, though as usual it was just his thoughts and not mine nor Hinata's thoughts, "E-Eternal Rival Neji...has ascended to Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji!"

Neji had dyed his hair blonde! Totally completely blonde! He could be nicknamed goldy locks now! Words can't describe what kind of effect this would have on the world!

"Yes, that's right Lee..." Neji crossed his arms and smirked, "I have ascended from myself into Super Saiya-..."

Neji abruptly stopped talking and glared at Lee, "I'll kill you..."

"Oooooooooh! Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji! You've become far more powerful than ever before!" Lee exclaimed, "But I will not give up! I will surpass you and become Super Lee! My power of youth will prevail!"

And with that Lee ran off to probably train as hard as he can.

How is that funny? It's so sad it beyond lame. It started off as a decent Harem fic and randomly like surprise Yaoi turned into a suprise crack/shit fic.

 

[Ike]

From Ramen with Love:

"Alright...Now that Tenten's here, I will come out of my room..." Neji replied and a few moments later, Neji pushed his door open and exclaimed with a loud voice, "Behold! The new Neji!"

I was struck with awe.

'The new Neji' had completely knocked the living daylights out of me.

I was at a loss with words and like Hinata and Lee, just gasped at Neji's new looks.

Lee managed to bring out some words, though as usual it was just his thoughts and not mine nor Hinata's thoughts, "E-Eternal Rival Neji...has ascended to Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji!"

Neji had dyed his hair blonde! Totally completely blonde! He could be nicknamed goldy locks now! Words can't describe what kind of effect this would have on the world!

"Yes, that's right Lee..." Neji crossed his arms and smirked, "I have ascended from myself into Super Saiya-..."

Neji abruptly stopped talking and glared at Lee, "I'll kill you..."

"Oooooooooh! Super Saiya-jin Eternal Rival Neji! You've become far more powerful than ever before!" Lee exclaimed, "But I will not give up! I will surpass you and become Super Lee! My power of youth will prevail!"

And with that Lee ran off to probably train as hard as he can.

How is that funny? It's so sad it beyond lame. It started off as a decent Harem fic and randomly like surprise Yaoi turned into a suprise crack/shit fic.

That scene is hilarious, Immolo.

The story itself may have degraded, but, when I picture that scene in my head, it takes a lot of willpower not to burst out laughing.

 

[UsagiHasano]

From Phantasmagoria of Dichromatic Eyes chapter nine

Sasuke frowned. Somehow that sentence didnÆt sound right. WasnÆt his brother going to help him? Then again, Sasuke didnÆt really want to be helped, butàà

He turned to look at Itachi, only to feel two fingers poking his forehead. Itachi had something remotely resembling a gentle smile on his face.

ôThere. Now you will focus.ö

Sasuke frowned and raised an eyebrow. ôàà..how?ö His voice was barely above a whisper.

ôYou just will.ö Itachi declared. At SasukeÆs obvious expression of disbelief, Itachi frowned a little. ôYou lack faith.ö

ôNo, IÆm just annoyed. You can be really annoying at times, nii-san.ö

Itachi actually tilted his head a bit to his right.

ôààNaruto-kun says IÆm cool.ö

Sasuke grimaced. ôAnd your point isà?ö

ôHe says IÆm badass.ö

The younger Uchiha slapped his forehead. ôNii-san, Naruto thinks orange is the best color. ORANGE!!!ö

ôààhe likes Pocky.ö

Sasuke rolled his eyes. ôSo thatÆs how it isààö

For a while, Sasuke envied NarutoÆsààawkward friendship with his older brother. The feeling didnÆt last long. He didnÆt want his relationship with Itaci to be like that. It was just weird.

ôHe says IÆm cool. And badass. IÆm made of win and awesome.ö Itachi added with that quiet, nigh-emotionless tone of his. He might as well be reciting the weather forecast.

ôNii-san, youÆve been around Naruto way too long.ö

He decided to ignore the fact that he had spent a lot more time around Naruto than his older brother.

ôI think Naruto-kun speaks the truth.ö

ôI think youÆre both a bunch of lunatics.ö Sasuke mused jokingly. If this was his brotherÆs awkward way to fool around, Sasuke would indulge him.

ôWe should invite Naruto-kun to come over for a visit.ö

ôIààdonÆt think Father would approve of that.ö

Itachi nodded. ôTrueààa shame, though. I believe Mother would approve of him.ö

ôMother would cuddle him until those whisker marks of his came off.ö Sasuke growled. Her mother was just so damnààmotherly.

ôWe could have lots of food, like ramenààö

Sasuke groaned.

ôààand Pocky. Yes, Pocky and ramen.ö

ôI think IÆll pass.ö

ôThat is unacceptableààon the other side, more Pocky for meààö

Sasuke shot an odd look at his brother. It was impossible to tell whether Itachi was being serious or just being plain crazy.

ôItÆs official: Naruto has infected you.ö

For some reason, Sasuke had a mental image of Itachi and Naruto wearing pots on their heads and banging them with large spoons with lunatic looks on their faces.

ôI do not feel unwell, though.ö

Sasuke sighed. ôCould you please leave me alone?ö He had never imagined himself refusing his brotherÆs company. ThereÆs certainly a first time for everything.

ôWe could celebrate Hina-nagashi together.ö

ôHina-nagashi is a girlsÆ festival!!!ö

Which means Naruto will spend it with Hinata and Hanabi, of course.

ôWe could use Hengeàà.ö

ôNII-SAN!!!ö

ôYou look angry. That is not healthy for a child your age-ö

ôOUT. NOW.ö

Itachi pouted (Oh, for KamiÆs sake, did he just pout) and walked a few steps backwards, opening the door that led outside of SasukeÆs room.

ôàààItachi is a good boy.ö

ôOKAY, THATÆS IT, GET OUT OF HERE!!!!ö

Sasuke fumed for a moment while Itachi disappeared behind the closed door. After that, his expression relaxed.

Nii-sanààààeverything is okayààright?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

The image of little Naruto being friends with Itachi is always hilarious.

This is from Naruto for the Teenaged Soul, written by Renalin, my friend. She's written ALL of these chapters by herself. She is that damn dedicated. It blows my mind.

SasukeÆs breath hissed out between his teeth. His muscles strained, pulling, stretching, and then contracting agonizingly, as he fought for dominance. His eyes flickered, turning red, before the three commas started spinning.

ôSasuke, knock it off! WeÆre going to do this the natural way!ö

SasukeÆs eyes stayed stubbornly red; he couldnÆt help it, the Sharingan activated whenever he was under a lot of stress.

ôCÆmon Sasuke, push harder,ö Naruto coached alongside him.

SasukeÆs attention momentarily wavered, ôWill you shut up? You shouldnÆt even be here!ö

ôPlease, it was hard for you to take her hand. I obviously need to supervise.ö

Sasuke chose to ignore this, instead focusing on the task at hand. He was almost thereàjust needed to push a bit more and thenà

Determined green eyes stared back at him, her lower lip caught between her teeth fiercely. The occasional whimper slipped past pristinely white teeth whenever he squeezed her a bit too hard.

BAM. SasukeÆs hand slammed into the table. He swore venomously because crap, he had just lost to a girl.

Sakura grinned maliciously and straightened her shirt sleeve, ôYou owe me ice-cream.ö

Behind her, Naruto cackled, ôIdiot, sheÆs got super strength!ö

Kakashi, who had before then been completely invisible, voiced his agreement, ôReally Sasuke, what made you think you could beat Sakura in an arm wrestling contest?ö

Sasuke glared and snorted, pretending that he didnÆt care he had lost, or that his hand currently contained two slightly fractured bones.

Sakura popped up beside him, grinning cheekily, ôIÆm not healing that until you buy me my ice-cream.ö

ôàAnnoyingàö

 

[drache5824]

Saw this in Bloodred Eyes by Chibi-Reaper.

"Naturally I could not pass by such a banquet. I chose a route that should have made it obvious that I had no intentions of attacking the village, but I could not go too far out of my way either. Even so, I was most astonished when wave after wave of ninja flooded out to attack me. I held my temper in check for some time... a difficult thing to do with hundreds of sharp, pointy bits of metal richocheting off of you. Frankly, however, targeting my genetalia was the last straw."

Naruto slowly cocked his head to the side.

"What's a genetalia?"

 

[Ninsaneja]

Meh. Deleted.

 

[Ringmaster]

After a handful of months, life with Urd was just as exciting and migraine inducing as the first. That may have sounded like a grand announcement, but it was anything but that.

The potions, the fights, the arguments, everyday there was some new mini crisis he had to overcome; and it was slowly changing him. He didnÆt want to sound absurd about it, but it was true in his eyes. He preferred kunai, ambushes, and death over potions, magic spells, and burnt toast. A hard choice indeed, but he would make it in a second.

And he did. That was why he was following the perverted Sannin through another town, looking for some old lady friend of his.

Wellà the training Urd managed to secure him was an added plus. Never forget the training.

Giving a mental sigh, Naruto trudged after his new sensei and wondered when he was going to get a break. He wasnÆt one to normally bitch and complain, but things had slowly changed from surprisingly uncommon occurrences, to the daily bizarre event. His home was becoming a nest egg of trouble.

Urd, bless her heart, tried to do good on so many things. There was the time she spiked SasukeÆs juice one morning to try and lighten his mood. Disaster had struck when Sasuke made a complete one-eighty in personality. He readily answered SakuraÆs request for a date, driving the poor girl into a rambling mess of sated nerves. Had that been all, then the situation would not have been so bad, but Sasuke hadnÆt stopped there. Ino, Aoi, Kyoko Miki, the list went on forever. Naruto remembered one particular event in vivid clarityà.

Flashback

Sasuke stood leaning against a tree post. His demeanor was too laid back, too different. It was making the small group wary. Sasuke never hung around anybody. Naruto knew why he was so different, but he was hoping Urd was doing something to fix the problem. Things were getting out of hand.

If she didnÆt hurry, they would be royally screwed.

ôShino, your mom is hot.ö

Nobody moved, unsure of who had the gall to utter the phrase. They need not have bothered. Sasuke appeared totally relaxed, as if he complimented women older than him all the time.

ôàWhat?ö Shino asked in stunned disbelief.

ôWhen we get married, could you call me ædaddy?Æö

The entire park went silent, and Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru made a grab for Shino before he could put Sasuke in the ICU for life.

ôStay away from my mother!ö Shino roared, infuriated.

From Ah! My Naruto by Gmusick.
The link, boss, the link!

 

[Innortal]

That was perhaps the funniest quote I've read in a long time.

 

[Omni]

That was perhaps the funniest quote I've read in a long time.

No shit. That story is so fucking awesome. I just wish it would be updated.

 

[Mighty Bob]

That was perhaps the funniest quote I've read in a long time.

No shit. That story is so fucking awesome. I just wish it would be updated.

Seconded.

Is GMusik still working on it, or is it pretty much left in the dust while he works on Trouble with a Capital T? Not that that's updated anytime recently either <_<

 

[cameron8161]

From A Twist of Chance chapter 7

It didn't look like his house.

He stumbled up, only getting caught in the bag three times before gaining enough feeling in his fingers to unzip it enough for him to roll out. He swayed uneasily on the floor, half-expecting it to sweep out under him. He ran into the alarm clock with one foot, "accidentally" flinging it into the wall. It rang a few more times, persistent to the end, before trailing off in the middle of one, as if it finally got the point.

Part of him glanced towards the bed, and he felt nothing short of absolute longing to go there and be with his one true love. The other part of him, the part that usually kept him alive on missions, noticed that the bed was made. He saw the edges of sheets thought long since missing in the Great Crack Beyond the Mattress peaking out of a comforter that was smoothly spread over the top of the bed. Incredulous, he stumbled over, swearing twice as his toes got caught on the flat, level ground. That alone gave him pause, because while the accumulated mess that had served as a carpet for him for more than half his life was, at points, level, it was never smooth.

He glanced down, and were it not for the fact that his jaw felt like it'd been soldered on, he would've screamed. As it was, the attempt came out as "Grmmmgh.". Naruto leaned against the edge of the bed, astonishment slowly pumping enough adrenaline into his system to allow his eyes to open the entire way.

He had hard wood floors.

He found himself frozen completely for a moment, his eyes only seeming to focus on the unnatural gleam and sparkle of the yellow wood. He glanced up just an inch, but an inch was more than he needed for his eyes to focus on the strange, alien-looking table in the center of his apartment.

It was dark brown, and it seemed to audibly shine in a way he hadn't seen since the last time Maito Gai did his "nice guy" pose. It had the same eerie sheen as kunai or shuriken when they were coming straight at him. It wasn't ever a good sign. Gone was the foot deep, familiar mound. Instead, there were straight, orderly piles of papers, envelopes, and, as his feet subconsciously drew him closer, he saw a basket of what could only be wax fruit, because no fruit he'd ever seen had such a polished shine to it.

Everything was clean.

He was clearly in the wrong house. Then again, he reasoned, that was his table, and those had been his pattern of sheets on the bed. It was his apartment, but it was clean. It had to be an alternate dimension. Any moment now, it would turn out that he was the only ninja in Konoha, because the rest of the people he knew were pirates in this dimension. Somehow, the idea of Kakashi wearing an eye patch, a high collared jacket covering his face, with a rapier at his side seemed to fit way too easily. The rest of the scene came together easily. Sakura might have pretended to be a boy, except that everyone saw her pink hair and just humored her. Sasuke would be a broody, bad-tempered son of a (and he searched for an equivalent to the big clans in Konoha) Navy captain, but ran away with pirates anyway.

"But, how can I be a pirate?," he found his mouth mumbling while his mind strained to catch up, "I have two legs and I don't have a parrot."

 

[chaosdrac]

to quote some unknow person

DA IZ SOME SHIT MAN.

in other words WIN
:yay: :rofl: :yay: :rofl: :rip1:

 

[zerohour]

After a handful of months, life with Urd was just as exciting and migraine inducing as the first. That may have sounded like a grand announcement, but it was anything but that.

The potions, the fights, the arguments, everyday there was some new mini crisis he had to overcome; and it was slowly changing him. He didnÆt want to sound absurd about it, but it was true in his eyes. He preferred kunai, ambushes, and death over potions, magic spells, and burnt toast. A hard choice indeed, but he would make it in a second.

And he did. That was why he was following the perverted Sannin through another town, looking for some old lady friend of his.

Wellà the training Urd managed to secure him was an added plus. Never forget the training.

Giving a mental sigh, Naruto trudged after his new sensei and wondered when he was going to get a break. He wasnÆt one to normally bitch and complain, but things had slowly changed from surprisingly uncommon occurrences, to the daily bizarre event. His home was becoming a nest egg of trouble.

Urd, bless her heart, tried to do good on so many things. There was the time she spiked SasukeÆs juice one morning to try and lighten his mood. Disaster had struck when Sasuke made a complete one-eighty in personality. He readily answered SakuraÆs request for a date, driving the poor girl into a rambling mess of sated nerves. Had that been all, then the situation would not have been so bad, but Sasuke hadnÆt stopped there. Ino, Aoi, Kyoko Miki, the list went on forever. Naruto remembered one particular event in vivid clarityà.

Flashback

Sasuke stood leaning against a tree post. His demeanor was too laid back, too different. It was making the small group wary. Sasuke never hung around anybody. Naruto knew why he was so different, but he was hoping Urd was doing something to fix the problem. Things were getting out of hand.

If she didnÆt hurry, they would be royally screwed.

ôShino, your mom is hot.ö

Nobody moved, unsure of who had the gall to utter the phrase. They need not have bothered. Sasuke appeared totally relaxed, as if he complimented women older than him all the time.

ôàWhat?ö Shino asked in stunned disbelief.

ôWhen we get married, could you call me ædaddy?Æö

The entire park went silent, and Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru made a grab for Shino before he could put Sasuke in the ICU for life.

ôStay away from my mother!ö Shino roared, infuriated.

From Ah! My Naruto by Gmusick.
The link, boss, the link!

Wasn't there a thread/story somewhere where Yondaime wished for Urd or someone to give him the best night of his life, and the end result was Naruto?

Anyone git a link to that?

 

[Innortal]

I think it was Hild. She tracked him down later to let him know she was with child.

 

[zerohour]

I think it was Hild. She tracked him down later to let him know she was with child.

It might have been her... but what happened was she lived in Konoha until she gave birth, at which point the wish was fulfilled, and she was called back, despite her protests.

Damn it, this is going to drive me insane...

 

[gimp]

It was mara or marller, and it was called infernal family in the previews section I think.