Evangelion Gift of Evangelion
- Thread starter Aarik
- Start date
:huh: :lol: B)Hmm...
I think I'm gonna have each chapter in similar style to Oban Star Racers, with maybe some chap's focusing on Shinji Rei and Asuka and friends.
First chapter is ADD like Sachiel.
Second is Sexy like Shamshel.
Gonna try to work on more of this now.
===================
Note: NO TITS ARE WORTH THIS!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Shinji screamed as the blue car hit a ramp, did two flips and landed on the intersection below them, shot forward, hit a chunk of concrete, and did a cartwheel between the giant monsters legs, landing on the right side and peeling off on two wheels towards the center of the city, we fell over eventually, onto all four wheels.
In reverse, though they were facing forward when we landed after the cartwheel.
"Shush I'm trying to drive!" The woman, Misato was her name, according to her.
I curled up into a ball and kissed my ass goodbye, not literally, there were many tears.
And screaming.
"AAAH! AAAH! AAAAH!" about to crash into a train, awesome way to die, not.
She turned the car sideways and drifted into the sign donating that the train was, in fact, there, at 189 MPH.
We hit the sign and did several flips as we flew over the maglev train, then landed, somehow, on our wheels and shot off towards the tunnel the train was going into, it was, thankfully, wide enough for us.
"Oh I almost forgot, here, read this." She handed me a pamphlet, by TAKING HER HANDS OFF THE WHEEL.
It said, welcome to NERV on it, with that symbol that was on everything in the city, the maple leaf means this must be some Canadian organization, gotta ask why they're in Japan, crazy Gaijin must be confused.
---
Hello, it is us, Lilim, again, we would like to inform the our selves reading this, as no one want's to listen to the our self known as Shinji Ikari's whining about the our self known as Misato Katsuragi's driving, we will be skipping to them arriving onto the carivator (car elevator to those our selves reading this who are not familiar with the terminology.).
We will also be skipping the two our selves getting lost in our Geofront, as all that will happen during this is the our self known as Shinji Ikari's adrenaline rush wearing off and calming down, but first, we will take a look at what Sachiel was doing, from what I saw through the eyes of the my selves piloting the ROFL-Copters engaging her..
---
SO MANY BEES!
FIRING SHINY STINGERS!
PRETTY LIGHTS!
NO!
THE BEES ARE LEAVING!
OOOOO! SOMEONE'S SCREAMING SOMETHING!
YAY! BIG BLACK BIRDY THING IS SENDING ME SOME SODA!
---
The Soda in question was an N2 mine, according to her, they hurt like a B!#<#.
Now, back to the my selves in the Geofront.
---
I think I'm gonna have each chapter in similar style to Oban Star Racers, with maybe some chap's focusing on Shinji Rei and Asuka and friends.
First chapter is ADD like Sachiel.
Second is Sexy like Shamshel.
Gonna try to work on more of this now.
===================
Note: NO TITS ARE WORTH THIS!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Shinji screamed as the blue car hit a ramp, did two flips and landed on the intersection below them, shot forward, hit a chunk of concrete, and did a cartwheel between the giant monsters legs, landing on the right side and peeling off on two wheels towards the center of the city, we fell over eventually, onto all four wheels.
In reverse, though they were facing forward when we landed after the cartwheel.
"Shush I'm trying to drive!" The woman, Misato was her name, according to her.
I curled up into a ball and kissed my ass goodbye, not literally, there were many tears.
And screaming.
"AAAH! AAAH! AAAAH!" about to crash into a train, awesome way to die, not.
She turned the car sideways and drifted into the sign donating that the train was, in fact, there, at 189 MPH.
We hit the sign and did several flips as we flew over the maglev train, then landed, somehow, on our wheels and shot off towards the tunnel the train was going into, it was, thankfully, wide enough for us.
"Oh I almost forgot, here, read this." She handed me a pamphlet, by TAKING HER HANDS OFF THE WHEEL.
It said, welcome to NERV on it, with that symbol that was on everything in the city, the maple leaf means this must be some Canadian organization, gotta ask why they're in Japan, crazy Gaijin must be confused.
---
Hello, it is us, Lilim, again, we would like to inform the our selves reading this, as no one want's to listen to the our self known as Shinji Ikari's whining about the our self known as Misato Katsuragi's driving, we will be skipping to them arriving onto the carivator (car elevator to those our selves reading this who are not familiar with the terminology.).
We will also be skipping the two our selves getting lost in our Geofront, as all that will happen during this is the our self known as Shinji Ikari's adrenaline rush wearing off and calming down, but first, we will take a look at what Sachiel was doing, from what I saw through the eyes of the my selves piloting the ROFL-Copters engaging her..
---
SO MANY BEES!
FIRING SHINY STINGERS!
PRETTY LIGHTS!
NO!
THE BEES ARE LEAVING!
OOOOO! SOMEONE'S SCREAMING SOMETHING!
YAY! BIG BLACK BIRDY THING IS SENDING ME SOME SODA!
---
The Soda in question was an N2 mine, according to her, they hurt like a B!#<#.
Now, back to the my selves in the Geofront.
---
Why the hell is this pamphlet 90% censored? All the black bars make it illegible.
What retard thought this was a good idea?
The door Misato was about to open slid out, and some blonde chick in a labcoat leaned out and give an amused look at Misato.
"Lost again I assume?" Ms. Labcoat said, sarcastically.
Misato was less amused, "Oh shut it." She was pouting, my dick made sure I was aware of this.
"SO, this is the Third Child?" Ms. Labcoat asked, giving me a quick once over.
I hadn't been made aware that I had two older siblings, this was good news, as long as neither of them took after dad anyway.
I didn't bother asking anything, Misato refused to answer any questions after picking me up, so-
"Shinji, this is Ritsuko, Ritsuko, this is Shinji Ikari, The Third Child." Misato attempted introductions.
One question answered. Only important one left is why am I here? Not in the philosophical sense, in the 'what the hell does my dad want now' sense.
And then they turned the lights on.
I recognized that face.
It's hideous deformities, unnatural by any stretch of the imagination, the disturbing way the light reflected of those eyes of glass...
Yes, his father was a complete monster.
Oh and the giant purple robot that liquefied my mom when I was four to I guess.
It had been a BITCH to dig up those repressed memories in his therapy sessions.
Oh wait, they're TALKING, I should probably be paying attention.
"-es, you will pilot it." I tuned in to hear my douche/dad say.
Wait, he was giving me a fucking giant robot?
He doesn't even remember my fucking birth date!?
He didn't even wrap it!
But still... Giant Robot...
"Well... It's not my birthday yet... And you forgot to wrap it..." I hmm'd in thought.
I got two exasperated looks, and one cold glare, but my father's eyes only set to cold glare so that was nothing new.
He turned and said something to someone up in that box of his, hehe, never knew my dad was a mime.
"Very well, if you won't pilot it..." Douchebag muttered... I mean, father muttered.
"When did I say that? I'm just thinking, it's the first present you've gotten me since I was like 4, I can't just turn it down." I yelled at him, I mean, come on, how stupid did his dad think he was?
Passing up a Giant Robot!? I'm not retarded thank you very much!
Then the door we had come through opened up, and a bunch of nurses wheeled in a stretcher...
Hey! That's that one girl I saw, what the hell happened to her? Misato didn't hit her with her car did she?..
Nah, if she had, the girl would be paste, not injured.
Hmm... Should I pay attention to what they're doing or check on the injured girl...
Wait, they were expecting him to fight the monster, and, by the law of mecha anime, the less he knew about what he was doing the better he would fight.
Checking on the injured girl it is.
---
More to come in a while.
What retard thought this was a good idea?
The door Misato was about to open slid out, and some blonde chick in a labcoat leaned out and give an amused look at Misato.
"Lost again I assume?" Ms. Labcoat said, sarcastically.
Misato was less amused, "Oh shut it." She was pouting, my dick made sure I was aware of this.
"SO, this is the Third Child?" Ms. Labcoat asked, giving me a quick once over.
I hadn't been made aware that I had two older siblings, this was good news, as long as neither of them took after dad anyway.
I didn't bother asking anything, Misato refused to answer any questions after picking me up, so-
"Shinji, this is Ritsuko, Ritsuko, this is Shinji Ikari, The Third Child." Misato attempted introductions.
One question answered. Only important one left is why am I here? Not in the philosophical sense, in the 'what the hell does my dad want now' sense.
And then they turned the lights on.
I recognized that face.
It's hideous deformities, unnatural by any stretch of the imagination, the disturbing way the light reflected of those eyes of glass...
Yes, his father was a complete monster.
Oh and the giant purple robot that liquefied my mom when I was four to I guess.
It had been a BITCH to dig up those repressed memories in his therapy sessions.
Oh wait, they're TALKING, I should probably be paying attention.
"-es, you will pilot it." I tuned in to hear my douche/dad say.
Wait, he was giving me a fucking giant robot?
He doesn't even remember my fucking birth date!?
He didn't even wrap it!
But still... Giant Robot...
"Well... It's not my birthday yet... And you forgot to wrap it..." I hmm'd in thought.
I got two exasperated looks, and one cold glare, but my father's eyes only set to cold glare so that was nothing new.
He turned and said something to someone up in that box of his, hehe, never knew my dad was a mime.
"Very well, if you won't pilot it..." Douchebag muttered... I mean, father muttered.
"When did I say that? I'm just thinking, it's the first present you've gotten me since I was like 4, I can't just turn it down." I yelled at him, I mean, come on, how stupid did his dad think he was?
Passing up a Giant Robot!? I'm not retarded thank you very much!
Then the door we had come through opened up, and a bunch of nurses wheeled in a stretcher...
Hey! That's that one girl I saw, what the hell happened to her? Misato didn't hit her with her car did she?..
Nah, if she had, the girl would be paste, not injured.
Hmm... Should I pay attention to what they're doing or check on the injured girl...
Wait, they were expecting him to fight the monster, and, by the law of mecha anime, the less he knew about what he was doing the better he would fight.
Checking on the injured girl it is.
---
More to come in a while.
Error has been fixed, also, feel free to point out more of those.
The liquefied mom bit was uncovered years ago, all that water has been suitably put under that bridge, after all, Gendo has full access to Shinji's psych profile, he cleared that shit up right then and there, wouldn't do to have his pilot be to terrified to get in the Eva when the time came would it?
Oh, and I'm going to subvert an old cliche in a bit.
Also, Lilim's tense's are kicking my ass, how do you refer to a singular being that is also 3 billion beings?
EDIT: And, just saying now, Shinji is REALLY Wrong Genre Savvy, and even then, it's not that he's genre savvy so much as he's a mostly typical Japanese kid, in a world where the mecha genre formula was never deconstructed by NGE.
Do the math.
The liquefied mom bit was uncovered years ago, all that water has been suitably put under that bridge, after all, Gendo has full access to Shinji's psych profile, he cleared that shit up right then and there, wouldn't do to have his pilot be to terrified to get in the Eva when the time came would it?
Oh, and I'm going to subvert an old cliche in a bit.
Also, Lilim's tense's are kicking my ass, how do you refer to a singular being that is also 3 billion beings?
EDIT: And, just saying now, Shinji is REALLY Wrong Genre Savvy, and even then, it's not that he's genre savvy so much as he's a mostly typical Japanese kid, in a world where the mecha genre formula was never deconstructed by NGE.
Do the math.
The Lilim who is doing the scene breaks/intersections is more like the soul of all humanity, it is everyone, it has no eyes, yet has 6 billion eyes, it has no hands, yet has 6 billion hands, it has no legs or feet, yet has 6 billion of both.
It has one name, yet it has 3 billion names.
It knows nothing, and yet possesses the sum total knowledge of the entire species.
It has no voice, but it has 3 billion voices.
It has no mind, yet has 3 billion minds.
It has no personality, yet has 3 billion personalities.
It has no family, yet has 3 billion family members.
It is nothing, and yet, it is TFF, it is 4chan and 7chan and all the chan boards, it is invisionfree, it is FFN, it is Mediaminer, it is the internet, it is every world leader, it is every cop and every criminal, it is every rapist and saint, it is every father and son, it is every mother and daughter, it is every aunt and uncle, it is every cousin and stranger, it is you and me, it is your best friend and your most hated enemy.
It is we, it is us, it is humanity.
EDIT: Also, from how I remember Kaworu used it, it's like sheep, it has no plural s, just 'Lilim' or 'the Lilim' or 'we Lilim'.
EDIT2:
-Skipping the rei scene, as I have no idea's for it at the moment, and this would take forever if I didn't. She's a in a bit to much pain to be talking anyway.-
---
Shinji was sitting back in his new piloting chair, the he had some reservation about being inside a dildo that would shove into the hole in his robot's back, who was he to complain about what apparently worked.
At least the chair in here is nice...
Wait, what was that about flooding?
Hey... Wait.
I remember this stuff...
A few years ago Shinji had been in an accident at the beach and had to get treatment to get the water out of his lungs, they had hooked him up to some machine and had him breath some orange goo for a few days.
This stuff tastes the same, and it LOOKS the same, and I think they called it LCL...
I inhaled some of it, yup, same stuff.
"Okay, now what?" I asked, no one particular.
Ritsuko/labcoat appeared in a holographic window thing.
Awesome.
"Okay shinji, your doing good so far, beginning activatiflarrgarbl!" sausammeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee flirbiflirbiflirbiflirbi weeberweebeeweebersweebersweebersweebersweebersbwydbfjanjdbfvkabiulwebfubadsfgnbvfcdfghjdhgfvdsjkmnf
hdjksmwenbdfjksmnbchjkxs
BABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABI
ESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBA
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WordsT Wordsh Wordsi Wordss Words Wordsi Wordss Words Wordst Wordsh Wordse Words Wordsb Wordse Wordss Wordst Words Wordsa Wordsc Wordsi Wordsd Words Wordst Wordsr Wordsi Wordsp Words WordsE WordsV WordsE WordsR Words.
Ughhh... I don't know what that was... BUT I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!
"Doing really good Shinji, sync rate at 52% +/- 2!" The seagull was talking to me again
No wait, that was Ritsuko, who is now REALLY TINY.
Why are they all so FUCKING TINY!?
Oh wait, yeah, giant robot. What kind of robot get's you high off your tits when you turn it on?
"Shinji we're moving you to the catapult now." Misato sai- Wait what?
I felt a weird lurch, and heard a loud click, I was in a half cubicle thing, latched into the walls to my sides and behind me.
This... Isn't good...
"Launch Eva!" Misato screamed in my ear, I had a fraction of a second to think 'F-' before:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ROLLER COASTER FROM HELL!
There was an abrupt stop, I flopped up and banged my head into the top of the plug.
Whoever designed that, fuck you.
---
Ritsuko was thinking, she does this often.
Hmm, his sync rate was much higher then the First and Second's were when they first sync'd...
But before all that, getting the Eva to go berserk so it can kill the Angel...
"Okay Shinji, just think about walking, it's all we need you to do for now" That should get the Angel's attention enough that it'll attack and set off the Eva, especially since it's made from Lilith.
As many are aware, Ritsuko is a bitch.
---
Walking? yeah, I can do that...
Turn's out, no, no he can't, as the Eva's prompt face fault after taking a single step proves.
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! WHY IS THIS SO HARD? I'M A JAPANESE TEENAGER IN A GIANT ROBOT! THIS SHOULD BE EFFORTLESS!
Yes, it seems Shinji is learning that he should have in fact been paying attention.
And now Sachiel is standing over him, we all know how this goes...
Oh, wait, no we don't.
---
They have gotta be joking.
This thing can't even stand up!
It looks so pathetic...
Eh, part of my duties is insuring that they can fight back, and that giant wannabe soda can MAY HAVE HURT LIKE FUCKING BITCH, but it didn't really do much to me besides hurt...
And this thing seems to have a Territory like me, so...
Let's help it up and see what they got.
---
Shinji felt an unsettling pressure on his head. He REALLY should have been paying attention.
According to his new second pair of eyes, he was being lifted up by his/Eva's head.
It then put him down on his feet, he stumbled a bit, but oriented himself, he was getting better at this, but no where near good enough for what he was dealing with.
Sachiel took a boxing stance.
Shinji tripped forward and skull bashed the angel in the stomach, or he would have if it hadn't dodged.
If Sachiel had eyes, they would be SO narrowed, you don't even KNOW.
---
It has one name, yet it has 3 billion names.
It knows nothing, and yet possesses the sum total knowledge of the entire species.
It has no voice, but it has 3 billion voices.
It has no mind, yet has 3 billion minds.
It has no personality, yet has 3 billion personalities.
It has no family, yet has 3 billion family members.
It is nothing, and yet, it is TFF, it is 4chan and 7chan and all the chan boards, it is invisionfree, it is FFN, it is Mediaminer, it is the internet, it is every world leader, it is every cop and every criminal, it is every rapist and saint, it is every father and son, it is every mother and daughter, it is every aunt and uncle, it is every cousin and stranger, it is you and me, it is your best friend and your most hated enemy.
It is we, it is us, it is humanity.
EDIT: Also, from how I remember Kaworu used it, it's like sheep, it has no plural s, just 'Lilim' or 'the Lilim' or 'we Lilim'.
EDIT2:
-Skipping the rei scene, as I have no idea's for it at the moment, and this would take forever if I didn't. She's a in a bit to much pain to be talking anyway.-
---
Shinji was sitting back in his new piloting chair, the he had some reservation about being inside a dildo that would shove into the hole in his robot's back, who was he to complain about what apparently worked.
At least the chair in here is nice...
Wait, what was that about flooding?
Hey... Wait.
I remember this stuff...
A few years ago Shinji had been in an accident at the beach and had to get treatment to get the water out of his lungs, they had hooked him up to some machine and had him breath some orange goo for a few days.
This stuff tastes the same, and it LOOKS the same, and I think they called it LCL...
I inhaled some of it, yup, same stuff.
"Okay, now what?" I asked, no one particular.
Ritsuko/labcoat appeared in a holographic window thing.
Awesome.
"Okay shinji, your doing good so far, beginning activatiflarrgarbl!" sausammeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee flirbiflirbiflirbiflirbi weeberweebeeweebersweebersweebersweebersweebersbwydbfjanjdbfvkabiulwebfubadsfgnbvfcdfghjdhgfvdsjkmnf
hdjksmwenbdfjksmnbchjkxs
BABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABI
ESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBA
BIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIES
BABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABI
ESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBA
BIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIES
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BIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIESBABIES.
WordsT Wordsh Wordsi Wordss Words Wordsi Wordss Words Wordst Wordsh Wordse Words Wordsb Wordse Wordss Wordst Words Wordsa Wordsc Wordsi Wordsd Words Wordst Wordsr Wordsi Wordsp Words WordsE WordsV WordsE WordsR Words.
Ughhh... I don't know what that was... BUT I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!
"Doing really good Shinji, sync rate at 52% +/- 2!" The seagull was talking to me again
No wait, that was Ritsuko, who is now REALLY TINY.
Why are they all so FUCKING TINY!?
Oh wait, yeah, giant robot. What kind of robot get's you high off your tits when you turn it on?
"Shinji we're moving you to the catapult now." Misato sai- Wait what?
I felt a weird lurch, and heard a loud click, I was in a half cubicle thing, latched into the walls to my sides and behind me.
This... Isn't good...
"Launch Eva!" Misato screamed in my ear, I had a fraction of a second to think 'F-' before:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ROLLER COASTER FROM HELL!
There was an abrupt stop, I flopped up and banged my head into the top of the plug.
Whoever designed that, fuck you.
---
Ritsuko was thinking, she does this often.
Hmm, his sync rate was much higher then the First and Second's were when they first sync'd...
But before all that, getting the Eva to go berserk so it can kill the Angel...
"Okay Shinji, just think about walking, it's all we need you to do for now" That should get the Angel's attention enough that it'll attack and set off the Eva, especially since it's made from Lilith.
As many are aware, Ritsuko is a bitch.
---
Walking? yeah, I can do that...
Turn's out, no, no he can't, as the Eva's prompt face fault after taking a single step proves.
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! WHY IS THIS SO HARD? I'M A JAPANESE TEENAGER IN A GIANT ROBOT! THIS SHOULD BE EFFORTLESS!
Yes, it seems Shinji is learning that he should have in fact been paying attention.
And now Sachiel is standing over him, we all know how this goes...
Oh, wait, no we don't.
---
They have gotta be joking.
This thing can't even stand up!
It looks so pathetic...
Eh, part of my duties is insuring that they can fight back, and that giant wannabe soda can MAY HAVE HURT LIKE FUCKING BITCH, but it didn't really do much to me besides hurt...
And this thing seems to have a Territory like me, so...
Let's help it up and see what they got.
---
Shinji felt an unsettling pressure on his head. He REALLY should have been paying attention.
According to his new second pair of eyes, he was being lifted up by his/Eva's head.
It then put him down on his feet, he stumbled a bit, but oriented himself, he was getting better at this, but no where near good enough for what he was dealing with.
Sachiel took a boxing stance.
Shinji tripped forward and skull bashed the angel in the stomach, or he would have if it hadn't dodged.
If Sachiel had eyes, they would be SO narrowed, you don't even KNOW.
---