Is it bad form to post your own answers on a question-asking thread you made barely more than 2 hours ago? I'm so impatient.
Well, after the meeting with the 3rd in Naruto's apartment, the first thing I'd do is... breathe a sigh of relief that the man Kakashi's memories tell me has the nickname "God of Shinobi" didn't think anything was amiss. He could seriously ruin my day.
The second thing I'd do is, instead of being hours late like Kakashi's memories tell me I should be, go straight to the academy and watch how my prospective students act when no-one else is around for a couple of hours. Good thing I'd've brought a book (that I've technically never read.) I might also try to talk to Iruka at this point to get another point of view. More information is always good, after all.
After watching them for a while, and making and hearing some introductions, I would probably have a decent idea of their personalities and a general idea as to how they interact and would work as a team. I'd also know, that as the franchise was called "Naruto," that he's likely the main character, and will likely turn out to be a "diamond in the rough." So I'll tell them to report to the training grounds immediately, instead of the next day. After all, a ninja has to ready at a moments notice. I'd tell them to report to a training ground that's far away enough that I've got time to body flicker over to the Hokage and bounce something off of him and get his permission for it.
I'd give them a unique test, probably first giving them a verbal quiz on what they know of their team-mates and what they think their role on the team could be, and then steal their forehead protectors and tell them to take them back from me in order to pass. Shinobi seem to take a fair amount of pride in them. I'd hide somewhere to test their tracking ability, then give them the run-around like Kakashi to get an idea of their strengths and weaknesses. I would, of course, limit my abilities.
After I'd passed them, I'd take Naruto aside and tell him I've had permission from the Hokage to tell them about the events surrounding Naruto's graduation, with the exception of the fox. I'd explain to the other two that Mizuki was a traitor and may have sabotaged their educations, (Seriously, how did this never come up in canon? The guy who apparently was involved in teaching Naruto's class
for years turned out to be a traitor who hated Konoha. Oh, I'm sure he still gave it his all to prepare them for the rigours of Shinobi life!) and emphasize that he definitely sabotaged Naruto's. Also mention that Naruto can use the Kage Bunshin the way he does because he's got ridiculously high stamina due to his Uzumaki heritage. No other reason, no sir.
Even if he hadn't, I'd still scapegoat him. After all, Naruto's the main character and a Jinchuuriki. He's almost definitely going to get stronger, and it would hopefully be fairly obvious to me by this point that Naruto sees Sasuke as a rival, and will actively seek to out-do him, and Sasuke has a bit of a complex about becoming stronger. So make it appear that Naruto's been suffering under a handicap all this time, so Sasuke will take him more seriously and will be less likely to lose his cool if Naruto's showing faster improvement. It's all because he's not being screwed over anymore!
Then I'd give them a training regimen, based off of what I saw from the test. Make sure Sakura starts eating right, and give all of them chakra control exercises as homework. Keep giving more exercises to Sakura as fast as she gets the hang of them, so she's constantly working to build stamina and learning something new at the same time. Start working to fix Naruto's Taijutsu, and see if I can arrange for remedial 1-1 academic lessons for him with Iruka. Have Sasuke keep doing what he's doing in addition to my homework, as his regimen is actually pretty good already.
Also, lots of supervised sparring. Naruto vs. Sasuke, with Sakura on the side of whoever lost the last time. Naruto might lose a lot at first, but fighting all those clones will wear Sasuke out and help him build stamina. Plus him going home tired out every day, along with the chakra control exercises, should sate his desire for becoming stronger. If Sasuke shows any jealously over Naruto's improvement compared to him, or expresses desire for new techniques, point out that his improvement rate will sky-rocket once he awakens his Sharingan, and it doesn't make sense to spend time teaching him jutsu when he'll eventually be able to learn them with a glance.
When Naruto's tai-jutsu improves enough to make a difference, start asking Sakura to suggest strategies for Sasuke to use. Mention using henge to disguise himself as one of Naruto's clones as an example. Naruto will react and adapt to successful strategies against him ,and it'll force them all to improve and start fighting smarter, and adjust all three of them to working with another person. I'd also have them spar as a team against me frequently.
Thanks to my awareness of the medium I'd be stuck in, I'd probably do my best to put off any missions outside the village. I have a "main character" on my team. Murphy's law could be in full effect.
As generals for a teaching style, I'd try to encourage questions, set aside personal time for all three of them, and do my best to either explain my reasoning behind my instructions, or lead them to figure out the reasoning for themselves.
Altered Nova said:
I'd probably start consulting with a therapist about the best way to speak to a traumatized child
Are there therapists? You'd think they'd be over-worked. Then again, apparently Tsunade can heal mental trauma to a degree, so maybe look around for a good med-nin. That Kabuto guy's enthusiastic, but he's probably not got enough seniority.
I would know that another confrontation between him and Itachi is inevitable, so I'd give him chidori early and try to make him strong enough to survive that meeting.
How do you know that he'll even ever see Itachi again? Remember Sasuke apparently never told anyone what Itachi said about testing his capacity. What, because Naruto's a shonen manga, they'll eventually be a family reunion... "to the death?!" That's... actually solid logic. Carry on.
Naruto is basically Kakashi's family, so I'd probably try to develop more of a relationship with him. Maybe pressure the Hokage for permission to reveal my relationship with Naruto's father so Naruto can feel that he has a real family for the first time in his life.
Yeah, but you're not Kakashi. You don't really have any emotional connection to Minato, except that when you tap into Kakashi's memories of him, you think: "Wow, he was a real froody dude." So unless you're the kind of person who can form a surrogate little brother bond pretty easily, you'd have to lie to and manipulate Naruto.
Shirotsume said:
First I walk through the street reading porn.
You sir, have your priorities
straight.B)
The bell test I do as normal, and assuming that they all pass, the first thing I do is, instead of disappearing, I just hide so I can release Naruto. Cause seriously? The fuck.
Why even the bell test? You aren't Kakashi, so you probably don't have his teamwork fetish.
From there I sit them down and explain the tentative plan for the whole team, point out each's strengths and weaknesses. Sakura is smart, but physically weak. She will be doing exercises, and I'll likely have to keep dropping in on her at random points in the day and forcing her to eat- she's not eating enough calories bar none.
I like this more, but unless you emphasize their strengths, or at least their potential, over their weaknesses, you'll destroy Sakura's confidence and turn Naruto against you. He's had years of people putting him down, and responds much better to positive reinforcement. Maybe point out to Sakura that practically none of the older female ninja look like they've been abusing steroids.
Sasuke is strong physically, and has good book smarts, but needs a good grounding in tactics and not being a fuckdamn retard- Itachi was an ANBU captain at this age. Sasuke either needs to cheat or needs teammwork. Given that Itachi is also a ninja, and a very good one, he obviously cheats. So Sasuke will need to cheat AND will need teamwork. There's no harm in using every advantage you can- Itachi sure as hell will.
To be fair, I'm fairly sure that Sasuke's tactics are decent, except when Itachi's involved. He tried to negotiate with Orochimaru in the FoD.
Naruto is strong physically. He's also an asswipe at this stage that doesn't have precious people- nor has he spent enough time around Team 7 to consider them such. He will be taught actual, proper taijutsu. The first reason is because that will make his Kage Bunshin terrifyingly dangerous. The second is that he needs the discipline and self awareness a proper taijutsu training delivers.
Asswipe might be a little strong, but I see where you're coming from. 5 minutes watching Naruto will show you he's starved for attention. As I said, positive reinforcement, and explaining either the benefits of any training regimen I give him, or why it's necessary for his growth, will switch him into
Hard Worker (master advanced jutsu in very short time)
Mode. And Yes to everything involving the Taijutsu. He's got the reserves for massive ninjutsu, but not the maturity.
Finally, it's time to play 'wake the fuck up and smell the java.' That question I asked Naruto earlier was to convince him to allow me to do this without breaking the law.
...
So then I drop the bomb- the reason I shared that is because there's information in everyone's past that teammates need to know, like my Sharingan. I then inform them that each of them will inform their teammates of their past- or I will for them.
Sakura goes first, sharing nothing. Then Sasuke. I then slip in and inform the team (also to Sasuke's suprise) that we'll all eventually be dealing with that. Before Sasuke can throw a shitfit, Naruto goes and pretty much ends all discussion.
At that point, I inform them that such backstories aren't uncommon. Genocides happen. There are other demon containers in the world. Suicides and teammates sacrificing themselves happen every day. None of them should earn you pity- and another person's problems are just as important to them as yours is you. You never compare yourself to other people- only yourself in the past.
...Dude. I had a relatively normal child-hood. Without the emotional attachment to Kakashi's memories, there is no way in hell I could look a 12-year old kid who's entire family was slaughtered, and then suffered a mind-rape super-genjutsu, straight in the eye and tell him to "man up. Everybody's got problems. Life sucks." And at this point he's known you for less than 2 days. Even if he needs to hear it, I'd probably try to put the same points across to him at a later date when he knows me a little better.
