@twin blade - For the record, I saved everybody's stories to my desktop right after the deadline, to prevent anyone from going back and changing stuff. Still, if the original draft included a couple notes at the end, then that should be allowed IMO. (No rules against it, yet.)
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"
Wills" by twin blade
Readability: 19
Use of the theme: 16
Use of details: 10
Story/Plot: 15
Other/personal opinion (general): 14
Total: 74
Spoiler comments: This guy is not generic - he doesn't want sex. Ok. ... but why? We don't learn anything else about him, his roommate, or the succubus. Not a location, not a reference point in time, not even their names.
Also, section 5 (getting out of the hospital) was confusing to me. Who is who, and what exactly is happening there? Why? This part was unclear.
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"
Wave good night, wave good bye" by Kayeich
Readability: 17
Use of the theme: 12
Use of details: 15
Story/Plot: 14
Other/personal opinion (general): 12
Total: 70
Spoiler comments: Some typos and other strange verb tenses. If those were intentional, then I don't understand those parts of the story. (Specifically, in paragraph 11, "I changed my mine!" made me laugh.)
I didn't really understand what was going on in the first section (paragraphs 1 - 31), but it does seem to be within the same dream / otherworldly location as the end of the story.
... but even after going back and re-reading part one, I still couldn't understand it. How many people are there, and exactly who is doing what? In my opinion, the ambiguity really kills this story, especially in part one. Eventually, you do have one character shout out "Shinji!", but is that the protagonist or someone else? The only character who was really given an identity was the amber-haired ghost girl.
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"
Vita Detestabilis" by Cornuthaum
Readability: 20
Use of the theme: 15
Use of details: 17
Story/Plot: 18
Other/personal opinion (general): 19
Total: 89
Spoiler comments: The explanations at the end cleared up most of the questions I had after the first read-through, so thanks for tacking that on.
This was more of a rambling of an old soldier's tales, than it was an actual story. I mean, there wasn't a traditional plot that could really be followed here - but that's not bad, I loved World War Z.
The one thing I would really change is the narrator (Death Knight)'s tone of voice. Does he/she/? really speak in such a casual manner, as we do in common conversation? That part seems kinda ... like it breaks the 4th wall unintentionally.
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"
Games from Beyond" by Grunt
Readability: 16
Use of the theme: 14
Use of details: 20
Story/Plot: 16
Other/personal opinion (general): 15
Total: 81
Spoiler comments: This passage has a lot of line breaks - perhaps too many. I think that this disrupts the flow of ideas, because it makes it difficult to tell exactly where one idea stops and the next begins. Due to this and the lack of differentiating characteristics (until the very end), I had some difficulty keeping the characters straight in certain areas of the passage.
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"
Skies over Gracemaria" by Rooster455
Readability: 20
Use of the theme: 17
Use of details: 18
Story/Plot: 17
Other/personal opinion (general): 19
Total: 91
Spoiler comments: Finally, named characters! :yay: Not a lot I can say about this one, except "Flesh it out so I can read more of it!"
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"
Deal with the Devil" by Halibel Lecter
Readability: 20
Use of the theme: 15
Use of details: 19
Story/Plot: 16
Other/personal opinion (general): 18
Total: 88
Spoiler comments: Aickman seemed to disappear early in the story - why? And there were a couple spots in the basement where I couldn't quite visualize what was going on.
Anyway, that's some creative backstory you've hinted at, with the Baaraclecians.