Harry Potter lines you wish you saw in the harry potter books
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The continuation of Ronald Weasley, Ace Attorney!
*In another room in the Ministry of Magic, Hermione entered to look on the body of Fred Weasley, covered up by a sheet. Solemnly she sat down and watched over him as requested by Molly Weasley while she was on jury duty. It was the least she could do.*
Hermione: *sighs*
*Presently, George enters the room and walks over to his brother. He taps his forehead*
Hermione: Uh... George? What are you doing?
George: Fred... Fred, come on, wake up!
Fred: ... *stirs* Ugh...
Hermione: Huh?! Wha...?!
Fred: Oh blimey... *He sits up and rubs his chest* That really hurt!
Hermione: WHAT?! But-But-But you're dead! YOU'RE DEAD!
Fred: I am?
Hermione: YOU WERE!
Fred: Ugh... Tastes like it. Draught of Living Death has a pretty awful aftertaste...
George: Guess we'll have to fix that...
Hermione: ... You didn't... You absolutely didn't prank everyone into thinking you were dead! YOU DIDN'T!
Fred: Course I didn't!
George: That would be absurd.
Fred: Evil!
George: Not funny.
Fred: Well a little funny.
George: More of an exit strategy really.
Fred: Or level up provocation.
George: Mum did kill Bellatrix Lestrange after hearing you bought it.
Fred: Really?
George: Truly.
Fred: Wow.
Hermione: So wait... You faked your deaths with... *She ripped open Fred's shirt and saw badly damaged Muggle body armor under it* Kevlar?!
Fred: Woah hey, easy there Hermione!
George: He's a bit sore.
Fred: But if you're up for a romp later~
Hermione: *SLAP SLAP!*
George: OW!
Fred: GEEZ! I was just DEAD woman, would you relax?
Hermione: You... You... You...! What about everyone else who died, huh?!
*The Twins look at each other and back to Hermione*
Fred: Like who?
George: We sold this stuff via secret catalog.
Fred: Lots of orders.
George: Hundreds really.
Fred: Little pill of Draught of the Living Death stuck behind their molars.
George: And kevlar vest.
Fred: Pretty good against Avada Kedavra.
George: Lots of other spells too.
Fred: And you can escape being Crucio'd too.
Hermione: And you could get the vests because... Gold is worth a lot more in the Muggle world than it is here!
Fred: Kind of neat, that.
George: Here we're paupers, there we're princes.
Fred: Lot more pretty girls too.
George: And the Internet.
Fred: Mmm... Internet...
George: And supermarkets.
Fred: Among other things. It's all fantastic.
George: Thrilling!
Fred: We'll be rolling in money!
George: I'll be rolling, Twin o' Mine. You're dead.
Fred: Oh yes. Have to fix that.
George: Minor bother really.
Fred: Mum... Will kill us.
George: Yep.
Fred: Oh well.
George: Hey Hermione? Care to be partners?
Fred: Associates?
George: Chums?
Fred: Lovers?
Hermione: What was that last one-?
George and Fred: Nothing.
Hermione: It was not nothing you-!
*Molly Weasley enters*
Molly: Hermione, first trial is over and...
Twins: ...
Molly: ...
Hermione: ...
Molly: I WILL MURDER THE BOTH OF YOU! *Sobs and hugs them both to her chest* YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!
Fred: ACK! MUM! MUM, HANG ON!
George: URGH! He just stopped being dead...!
*Meanwhile... Draco's Trial has begun*
Draco: I... I demand a different attorney! It is my right to have representation I choose!
Dobby: Was right.
Draco: Huh?
Andromeda: Ministry Declaration of Rights, Revised Edition 665: All wizards have the right to an attorney as appointed by the court so as to secure greater freedom and security for them.
Draco: Who wrote that ridiculous law?!
Ron: Your dad.
Draco: ... DAMNIT FATHER!
Lucius: *Being held in chains in the audience* Bite me you pansy.
Draco: Wh-What?!
Lucius: You heard me. For seventeen years it's always been "Father this!" and "Father that!" and "Why can't I beat Harry or Hermione?" Whine whine whine! You're a pansy, a twat, a whiny little GIRL!
Draco: B-But... But...!
Lucius: NO BUTS! Since I'm done for anyway I might as well try being a father for the first time in my life! You're a spoiled, selfish, stupid ponce and I wanted to call you Deborah when you were born because I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL! There!
Draco: *sob* No, Father, why...?
Lucius: See? SEE? See what a girl he is! He even wanted Granger to be his dominatrix!
Draco: NO! NO I DIDN'T! IT'S ALL LIES!
Andromeda: I would like to enter into evidence Draco Malfoy's personal diary as Exhibit G, Your Honor.
Dobby: Dobby approves!
Ron: OBJECTION! I believe I should read the diary first, given I am in fact his advocate!
Dobby: If do that, we will be here for days.
Ron: OBJECTION! I'm not that stupid! Besides, it's not fair to put all of Draco's dirty laundry out before his attorney sees it!
Dobby: Very well.
Draco: ... Weasley, I really have to say, you've surprised me. You're actually willing to go to the mat for me?
Ron: Well, kind of my job being a good guy and all. Even if you are a pansy-
Draco: I'm NOT a pansy!
Ron: Right, okay... Anyway, I shall begin reading at once!
Draco: ... Weasley, aren't you going to... Call for a recess or something?
Ron: Hm? No, I'm just going to read it in front of the court. *He stands up and goes to stand in the center of the court, facing the audience*
Draco: WHAT?!
Ron: "Dear Diary. Granger punched me today outside because of hippogriff's death. I immediately ran back to my dorm to wank off, imagining her hitting me again and again, calling me a bad boy..."
Draco: *foaming at the mouth, being held back by Aurors* WEASLEY! WEASLEY I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!
Ron: *Skipping ahead several entries* Aha, one from last year: "Watching her open that package I sent of a leather corset was the hottest thing I've ever seen. Cannot believe she's into Weasley. Must prove I am a better bitch than he could ever be." Oh, hey! I can be just as much of a bitch as you!
Bill: Oh yeah, definitely.
Ginny: Without a doubt.
Neville: Certifiable fact.
Ron: ... I hate you all.
*In another room in the Ministry of Magic, Hermione entered to look on the body of Fred Weasley, covered up by a sheet. Solemnly she sat down and watched over him as requested by Molly Weasley while she was on jury duty. It was the least she could do.*
Hermione: *sighs*
*Presently, George enters the room and walks over to his brother. He taps his forehead*
Hermione: Uh... George? What are you doing?
George: Fred... Fred, come on, wake up!
Fred: ... *stirs* Ugh...
Hermione: Huh?! Wha...?!
Fred: Oh blimey... *He sits up and rubs his chest* That really hurt!
Hermione: WHAT?! But-But-But you're dead! YOU'RE DEAD!
Fred: I am?
Hermione: YOU WERE!
Fred: Ugh... Tastes like it. Draught of Living Death has a pretty awful aftertaste...
George: Guess we'll have to fix that...
Hermione: ... You didn't... You absolutely didn't prank everyone into thinking you were dead! YOU DIDN'T!
Fred: Course I didn't!
George: That would be absurd.
Fred: Evil!
George: Not funny.
Fred: Well a little funny.
George: More of an exit strategy really.
Fred: Or level up provocation.
George: Mum did kill Bellatrix Lestrange after hearing you bought it.
Fred: Really?
George: Truly.
Fred: Wow.
Hermione: So wait... You faked your deaths with... *She ripped open Fred's shirt and saw badly damaged Muggle body armor under it* Kevlar?!
Fred: Woah hey, easy there Hermione!
George: He's a bit sore.
Fred: But if you're up for a romp later~
Hermione: *SLAP SLAP!*
George: OW!
Fred: GEEZ! I was just DEAD woman, would you relax?
Hermione: You... You... You...! What about everyone else who died, huh?!
*The Twins look at each other and back to Hermione*
Fred: Like who?
George: We sold this stuff via secret catalog.
Fred: Lots of orders.
George: Hundreds really.
Fred: Little pill of Draught of the Living Death stuck behind their molars.
George: And kevlar vest.
Fred: Pretty good against Avada Kedavra.
George: Lots of other spells too.
Fred: And you can escape being Crucio'd too.
Hermione: And you could get the vests because... Gold is worth a lot more in the Muggle world than it is here!
Fred: Kind of neat, that.
George: Here we're paupers, there we're princes.
Fred: Lot more pretty girls too.
George: And the Internet.
Fred: Mmm... Internet...
George: And supermarkets.
Fred: Among other things. It's all fantastic.
George: Thrilling!
Fred: We'll be rolling in money!
George: I'll be rolling, Twin o' Mine. You're dead.
Fred: Oh yes. Have to fix that.
George: Minor bother really.
Fred: Mum... Will kill us.
George: Yep.
Fred: Oh well.
George: Hey Hermione? Care to be partners?
Fred: Associates?
George: Chums?
Fred: Lovers?
Hermione: What was that last one-?
George and Fred: Nothing.
Hermione: It was not nothing you-!
*Molly Weasley enters*
Molly: Hermione, first trial is over and...
Twins: ...
Molly: ...
Hermione: ...
Molly: I WILL MURDER THE BOTH OF YOU! *Sobs and hugs them both to her chest* YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!
Fred: ACK! MUM! MUM, HANG ON!
George: URGH! He just stopped being dead...!
*Meanwhile... Draco's Trial has begun*
Draco: I... I demand a different attorney! It is my right to have representation I choose!
Dobby: Was right.
Draco: Huh?
Andromeda: Ministry Declaration of Rights, Revised Edition 665: All wizards have the right to an attorney as appointed by the court so as to secure greater freedom and security for them.
Draco: Who wrote that ridiculous law?!
Ron: Your dad.
Draco: ... DAMNIT FATHER!
Lucius: *Being held in chains in the audience* Bite me you pansy.
Draco: Wh-What?!
Lucius: You heard me. For seventeen years it's always been "Father this!" and "Father that!" and "Why can't I beat Harry or Hermione?" Whine whine whine! You're a pansy, a twat, a whiny little GIRL!
Draco: B-But... But...!
Lucius: NO BUTS! Since I'm done for anyway I might as well try being a father for the first time in my life! You're a spoiled, selfish, stupid ponce and I wanted to call you Deborah when you were born because I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL! There!
Draco: *sob* No, Father, why...?
Lucius: See? SEE? See what a girl he is! He even wanted Granger to be his dominatrix!
Draco: NO! NO I DIDN'T! IT'S ALL LIES!
Andromeda: I would like to enter into evidence Draco Malfoy's personal diary as Exhibit G, Your Honor.
Dobby: Dobby approves!
Ron: OBJECTION! I believe I should read the diary first, given I am in fact his advocate!
Dobby: If do that, we will be here for days.
Ron: OBJECTION! I'm not that stupid! Besides, it's not fair to put all of Draco's dirty laundry out before his attorney sees it!
Dobby: Very well.
Draco: ... Weasley, I really have to say, you've surprised me. You're actually willing to go to the mat for me?
Ron: Well, kind of my job being a good guy and all. Even if you are a pansy-
Draco: I'm NOT a pansy!
Ron: Right, okay... Anyway, I shall begin reading at once!
Draco: ... Weasley, aren't you going to... Call for a recess or something?
Ron: Hm? No, I'm just going to read it in front of the court. *He stands up and goes to stand in the center of the court, facing the audience*
Draco: WHAT?!
Ron: "Dear Diary. Granger punched me today outside because of hippogriff's death. I immediately ran back to my dorm to wank off, imagining her hitting me again and again, calling me a bad boy..."
Draco: *foaming at the mouth, being held back by Aurors* WEASLEY! WEASLEY I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!
Ron: *Skipping ahead several entries* Aha, one from last year: "Watching her open that package I sent of a leather corset was the hottest thing I've ever seen. Cannot believe she's into Weasley. Must prove I am a better bitch than he could ever be." Oh, hey! I can be just as much of a bitch as you!
Bill: Oh yeah, definitely.
Ginny: Without a doubt.
Neville: Certifiable fact.
Ron: ... I hate you all.
when Harry and co get to the ministry
Neville *looking around* Hermione! Ron ran off while we weren't looking
*Hermions Faints*
Hermione: Ron Wait that's the wrong direction.
Ron *stops* What?
Hermione: I said go to the stairs, How can you get mistaken and go that way!? Are you a Fantasia
Ron: Shut up, your directions were to messed up.
Neville: Ron next time I'm going to make a potion, one specifically for idiots.
Hermione: Neville *Hermione points towards where Harry if far ahead of them* Make one for him as well.
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A cookie to who ever gets this and apologies for the bad formatting. had to get this out before I forgot about it.
Neville *looking around* Hermione! Ron ran off while we weren't looking
*Hermions Faints*
Hermione: Ron Wait that's the wrong direction.
Ron *stops* What?
Hermione: I said go to the stairs, How can you get mistaken and go that way!? Are you a Fantasia
Ron: Shut up, your directions were to messed up.
Neville: Ron next time I'm going to make a potion, one specifically for idiots.
Hermione: Neville *Hermione points towards where Harry if far ahead of them* Make one for him as well.
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A cookie to who ever gets this and apologies for the bad formatting. had to get this out before I forgot about it.
A few minutes later.
The great hall was buzzing with rumor and speculation as to why the castle seemed, for lack of a better term sluggish. there was also the occasional sound of an explosion yet no one knew where or what was causing it.
no one that is until Colin Creevy burst through the large double doors panting heavily.
"Dumbledore's fighting Harry"
The great hall was buzzing with rumor and speculation as to why the castle seemed, for lack of a better term sluggish. there was also the occasional sound of an explosion yet no one knew where or what was causing it.
no one that is until Colin Creevy burst through the large double doors panting heavily.
"Dumbledore's fighting Harry"
Harry, gearing up for a final attack run on Voldemort:
"The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is it's last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury, not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to take... inventory. Outgunned. Outnumbered. Out of our minds. On a suicide mission. But the spirit of Britain and all her children, charged with thousands of years of magic... they will remember us for this. Because out of all our vast array of nightmares, this is the one we choose for ourselves. We go forward like a breath exhaled from the Earth. With vigor in our hearts and one goal in sight: We. Will. Kill him."
"The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is it's last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury, not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom. Good time to take... inventory. Outgunned. Outnumbered. Out of our minds. On a suicide mission. But the spirit of Britain and all her children, charged with thousands of years of magic... they will remember us for this. Because out of all our vast array of nightmares, this is the one we choose for ourselves. We go forward like a breath exhaled from the Earth. With vigor in our hearts and one goal in sight: We. Will. Kill him."
Its $29.99 on Steam right now. Wait until it drops another $10... which it probably will soon, given that MW3 just released. (From the LP I've seen online, that looks good BTW. If very action-movie over the top.)
... and now we're way OT. Hrm. Another Harry Potter quote... eh, what the hell, I'm on a Modern Warfare kick anyway, and its so easy to repurpose some of these. Same character as last time.
Scene: its an Azkaban!Harry, talking to Dumbledore via a magic mirror:
Dumbledore: Back from the brink, Harry.
Harry: 'Out of the frying pan' is more like it. This world looks more like Hell than the one I just left.
Dumbledore: We thought we'd recovered the magic detection grid before they could crack it. We were wrong. Then Voldemort turned the Ministry into his scapegoat. Next thing you know, there's flames everywhere. ... what's this you're showing me? (Harry is showing a page from Jane's, re: blockbuster bombs)
Harry: When the Muggles go to put out an oil fire, sir, they set off a bigger explosion right next to it. Sucks away the oxygen. Snuffs the flame.
Dumbledore: Harry, you've been locked away too long. Better get your mind right, my boy.
Harry: Dumbledore, are you willing to do what is necessary to win?
Dumbledore: I...
Harry: We got ourselves a pretty big fire. Gonna need a huge bang.
Dumbledore: You've been in Azkaban too long, Harry. Focus on duelling Voldemort-
Harry: No time. We need to end this war today.
Dumbledore: Harry! You must listen to me! We need to-
*Harry smashes the mirror*
Harry: Hmm... looks like we lost our connection.
... and now we're way OT. Hrm. Another Harry Potter quote... eh, what the hell, I'm on a Modern Warfare kick anyway, and its so easy to repurpose some of these. Same character as last time.
Scene: its an Azkaban!Harry, talking to Dumbledore via a magic mirror:
Dumbledore: Back from the brink, Harry.
Harry: 'Out of the frying pan' is more like it. This world looks more like Hell than the one I just left.
Dumbledore: We thought we'd recovered the magic detection grid before they could crack it. We were wrong. Then Voldemort turned the Ministry into his scapegoat. Next thing you know, there's flames everywhere. ... what's this you're showing me? (Harry is showing a page from Jane's, re: blockbuster bombs)
Harry: When the Muggles go to put out an oil fire, sir, they set off a bigger explosion right next to it. Sucks away the oxygen. Snuffs the flame.
Dumbledore: Harry, you've been locked away too long. Better get your mind right, my boy.
Harry: Dumbledore, are you willing to do what is necessary to win?
Dumbledore: I...
Harry: We got ourselves a pretty big fire. Gonna need a huge bang.
Dumbledore: You've been in Azkaban too long, Harry. Focus on duelling Voldemort-
Harry: No time. We need to end this war today.
Dumbledore: Harry! You must listen to me! We need to-
*Harry smashes the mirror*
Harry: Hmm... looks like we lost our connection.
