Nanoha Time Loops

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#1
The first coherent thought Fate had when she woke up was Where am I, and where's Nanoha-chan?

The second was WTF?! Where'd my tits go!?!

Then, she realized that not only was she apparently a kid, again, but she was in her room, on her mo- on Precia's ship.

Precia Testorossa. The bitch who made her, and who made her first nine years a living hell. Worse, the woman who had made her believe she deserved that hell.

"Bardiche, Set Up!" she exclaimed.

"Stand by. Ready," her loyal device replied.

Mother, she thought, you're gonna get Befriended, even if it kills you.

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I would have put the first snippet from Nanoha's PoV, as she's the Anchor, but Fate is the one I had an idea for.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#2
Hey, we already know that more people can be awake during the loops after all.

Jail must've REALLY gotten to Fate for her to let all her pent-up frustration out now... hmm...

(---)

Aruf shivered. She knew that Fate-chan was upset. That was easy to know. Seeing Fate rip her mother, physically, magically and verbally really made the familiar wonder just how much anger the little blond was bottling up.

She winced at the sounds of the beat-down. Granted, she thought Precia deserved it too, but maybe this was going too far.

"And this is for all the whippings you gave me! For telling me that you hated me! For not giving me any love that you could have! I gave you everything and all you did was abuse me!"

...Then again, maybe she wasn't going far enough.
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#3
Meh thought I'd take a crack at writing something, it's probably dire though :)

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Nanoha blinked her eyes in bewilderment.

"Why am I wet? Wasn't I in bed with Fate-chan?" she mused as she attempted to piece together the situation. A quick cast of the eyes upwards towards the offending spray of water revealed a rather far away shower nozzle. Another cast of the eyes downwards revealed two rather small feet and a definate lack of something or somethings. As she frantically looked around she spied a certain ferret bellydown on the sink.

Yuuno scratched himself idly and suddenly felt as if death itself ran a pale hand down his spine. He shuddered and shook himself loose of the feeling, during his motions his eyes came to rest upon the nude form of one nine year Takamachi Nanoha and as he trailed said eyes up to her face he noted that she seemed to be very very angry.

"OH SHI--" briefly came to his mind before it was interrupted.

EDIT: Missed a preposition.
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#5
SIGH, had to type this out again after my browser decided to reload the page for some reason, MFG.

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Jail Scaglietti frantically scrambled towards the control panel for the reinforced magically warded door leading to his emergency escape route.
Cold sweat gleamed slickly off his face's sallow skin in the baleful red emergency lighting. He tossed a glance over his shoulder and grimaced as the sounds of destruction behind him faded.

*Click*

The bedraggled scientist in his grubby lab coat made for a sorry sight as he slammed his hand into the control panel in fury as he glared at the display, the red error light glaring back at him accusingly.

*Click*

He stiffened, grit his teeth and turned around.

*Click*

Slowly a figure emerged from the smoke of destroyed equipment. Matte black boots emerged first, clicking on the smooth floor with every step. Slender but toned legs followed them leading eyes up to where the main body was clad in a minidress. A dark outer robe protected what the dress did not. Ebony wings framed the slender almost waifish figure. In stark counterpoint a white beret sat upon her head. All in all he didn't think that she could have been more than barely into her teens. She had done something he had not thought to be impossible, defeating all of his ready combat cyborgs single handedly as if they were trash below her station.

*Click*

"Why?" he asked her. "Why have you done this, this assault upon me and what is mine?[/I]?" he demanded of her.

*Click*

She came to a halt a handful of paces from him. A small thin smile graced her lips.

"All you need to know is.." was the montone response.

"Is WHAT?" he snapped out.

Scaglietti froze as her etherally beautiful visage snapped up and morphed into a rictus of hate. The emergency lighting turned her exotic pale hair into a miasma of crimson as she stalked around him in a semi circle. Teal eyes reflected a glint of madness as they speared into his soul. Reading him. Judging him.

"You KILLED them..."

"I haven't done against you or anyon--," he interrupted and stopped as her searing stare slammed into him.

"You KILLED them, because you could never DEFEAT them. You always smirked after they beat you, arrested you. You knew the TSAB wouldn't hold you for long, not with your contacts, free as a bird in less than a year. You couldn't defeat them face to face, not even with those pitiful cyborgs of yours, a pale mockery of the full power of a S-class mage. You killed them in their place of safety, in their sleep, with those they cared about. You killed them. They were MORE than just my friends to me, I LOVED them. I never told them because they were happy together but they were EVERYTHING to me. If they knew what I was doing now, they would beg me, plead with me that this was not the way, but I am not perfect... only human."

*Click*

"I.. I don't understand," the bewildered and frightened scientist bit out. He blinked and suddenly she was in front of him. Distantly he saw over her shoulder and noticed that the black feathers falling slowing from her wings were indeed very enchanting.

"And you never will."
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#6
MyLittlePwnies said:
"You KILLED them, because you could never DEFEAT them. You always smirked after they beat you, arrested you. You knew the TSAB wouldn't hold you for long, not with your contacts, free as a bird in less than a year. You couldn't defeat them face to face, not even with those pitiful cyborgs of yours, a pale mockery of the full power of a S-class mage. You killed them in their place of safety, in their sleep, with those they cared about. You killed them. They were MORE than just my friends to me, I LOVED them. I never told them because they were happy together but they were EVERYTHING to me. If they knew what I was doing now, they would beg me, plead with me that this was not the way, but I am not perfect... only human."

*Click*

"I.. I don't understand," the bewildered and frightened scientist bit out. He blinked and suddenly she was in front of him. Distantly he saw over her shoulder and noticed that the black feathers falling slowing from her wings were indeed very enchanting.

"And you never will."
Oh, yeah, Hayate is SCARY when pushed to far! :ph43r: :hail:
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#7
Prince Charon said:
MyLittlePwnies said:
"You KILLED them, because you could never DEFEAT them. You always smirked after they beat you, arrested you. You knew the TSAB wouldn't hold you for long, not with your contacts, free as a bird in less than a year. You couldn't defeat them face to face, not even with those pitiful cyborgs of yours, a pale mockery of the full power of a S-class mage. You killed them in their place of safety, in their sleep, with those they cared about. You killed them. They were MORE than just my friends to me, I LOVED them. I never told them because they were happy together but they were EVERYTHING to me. If they knew what I was doing now, they would beg me, plead with me that this was not the way, but I am not perfect... only human."

*Click*

"I.. I don't understand," the bewildered and frightened scientist bit out. He blinked and suddenly she was in front of him. Distantly he saw over her shoulder and noticed that the black feathers falling slowing from her wings were indeed very enchanting.

"And you never will."
Oh, yeah, Hayate is SCARY when pushed to far! :ph43r: :hail:
indeed.

Damn, I wanna see a full fic using that.
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#8
Urk, was just rereading over it and noticed some bits I'm not really that happy about. Writing something for the second time while half asleep hunched over a laptop in the dark really isn't very good for good writing. I haven't really written anything before but a time travel Nanoha story meshes with a story idea I've been kicking around better than another concept. I'd need to find or imagine up a more credible threat though that would neccessitate the time travel in the first place, plus I haven't read the manga. Dunno, I do have the creative itch.

Aside from that I always thought that Hayate never got enough love in the anime.
 

pjanimation

Well-Known Member
#9
MyLittlePwnies said:
Aside from that I always thought that Hayate never got enough love in the anime.
You and all the rest of us Hayate fans.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#10
MyLittlePwnies said:
Urk, was just rereading over it and noticed some bits I'm not really that happy about. Writing something for the second time while half asleep hunched over a laptop in the dark really isn't very good for good writing. I haven't really written anything before but a time travel Nanoha story meshes with a story idea I've been kicking around better than another concept. I'd need to find or imagine up a more credible threat though that would neccessitate the time travel in the first place, plus I haven't read the manga. Dunno, I do have the creative itch.

Aside from that I always thought that Hayate never got enough love in the anime.
You want the manga?

All four series Start with As, go to StrikerS, then Vivid and finally Force.

Granted both Vivid and Force are in progress ATM, but there you go.

I really wish to see more from you on this.
 

bissek

Well-Known Member
#11
Although the As and StrikerS mangas are side stories to the anime, not a retelling of the anime.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#12
This is true.

But, between the As manga and the Sound Stage that takes place there... Yeah, there's a LOT of detail that the show missed.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#14
ecs05norway said:
Is a translation fo the Sound Stage available?
Transcripts exist, yes...

Now, where did I put them?

Here are the Sound Stages, all transcribed.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#15
Nanoha groaned and rubbed her head. 'Oh gods... Vivio hit me harder than she usually did.' Even after fighting the girl several times, she really couldn't blame her. Besides, it was actually fun, the threat of death aside. Now she knew how some of the other anchors felt when they were looping. Now the only thing was to figure out when she was.

"Nanoha! A letter from that girl you met, Fate."

Blinking, Nanoha tapped her chin and smirked. Precia may not have been around, but she was certain she could... Befriend Hayate's knights. Especially Vita. That girl really needed a spanking sometimes.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#16
Is it really necessary to have another OOC character running around claiming to be OOC because she's supposedly looping for unspeakable amount of time? One who knows "EVERYTHING" and thus can do no wrong? :headbanger: :headbanger:

Because it tends to get repetitive, these loop threads. Something new would be nice.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#17
biigoh said:
Is it really necessary to have another OOC character running around claiming to be OOC because she's supposedly looping for unspeakable amount of time? One who knows "EVERYTHING" and thus can do no wrong? :headbanger: :headbanger:

Because it tends to get repetitive, these loop threads. Something new would be nice.
Then why don't you write it?

At least I tried something.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#18
Because I'd end up writing into a Baal Stargate Continuum type event, ie. it wouldn't be the 'heroes' looping.

Jail Scaglietti going back in time... I think you can see how that might go wrong if his loops are fair enough back?
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#19
biigoh said:
Because I'd end up writing into a Baal Stargate Continuum type event, ie. it wouldn't be the 'heroes' looping.

Jail Scaglietti going back in time... I think you can see how that might go wrong if his loops are fair enough back?
Eh, I could.

But, go ahead and write it anyway.

I wanna see what you have planned.
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#20
Well my PC decided to blue screen just as I finished writing this but BY THE POWER OF MICROSOFT WORD, I only had to rewrite a few lines. I'll probably write more snippets and see how they fit in, time dependant.

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One last throw of the dice, double or nothing, the bluff raise all in with the ace high flush draw, win or lose. Yagami Hayate simply couldnÆt bring herself to care anymore. Anyone observing her would have been able to feel the sticky sensation of mana charged air as she formed the spell construct in her mind, perfecting it, recalculating, and adding layers upon layers to it. Finally it was done, the multidimensional construct completed and charged, reality warped as mental construct translated itself into physical and metaphysical parameters anchored by the forbidden knowledge and technology of Al-Hazard. She closed her eyes, welcoming the darkness. Wryly she remembered an Earth movie she had seen before, before everything. ôThere is no fate except that which we make for ourselves.ö She closed her eyes, welcoming the darkness. The construct unravelled, directing massive energy drawn from exotic dimensions barely controlled by the powerful mageÆs iron will. Soundlessly, she disappeared.

Reality shattered, broke, warped as time turned upon itself in a mess of infinite Moebius loops overlapping higher dimensions

Her legs buckled as gravity exerted its effects on her, the mind disjointed, confused. Brown eyes blinked blearily against the bright sunshine. Suddenly she realised that someone was calling her name, in familiar voice unheard for decades.

ôHayate-chan, Hayate-chan! Are you ok? Does anything hurt? This isnÆt a relapse or something?ö

She blinked her eyes furiously as a face came into view, cerulean eyes brimming with concern gazed back at her. ôNanoha,ö was the only thing that came to her mind. The brunette standing worriedly over her friend was taken aback when Hayate shoved off the ground and glomped her all the while sobbing her name repeatedly. Bewildered, she clasped her friend in a hug, making soothing noises as she directed a puzzled look towards the blonde hovering nearby. Said puzzled look morphed into a pouty glare as Fate shrugged, throwing both hands palm up, her facial expression clearly conveying ôWhat the hell are you asking ME for?ö

The brunette on the bottom could feel her school blouse getting soaked through with the amount of tears Hayate was producing.

ôNe, Hayate,ö she attempted to get out before suddenly finding herself rendered mute as her previously thought platonic friend abruptly planted an absolute scorcher of a kiss on her.

ôOh my god, what the?! Is, is that her TONGUE? Hayate-chanÆs frenching me! Oh, oooooh,ö ran through her jumbled thoughts. She closed her eyes slightly and moaned involuntarily.

ôWow, oh wow Hayate-chan has some lung capacity on her for her size.ö

She immediately retreated slightly as the brunette on top broke the kiss, gasping for air. Any questions she had were immediately stifled by the incredibly melancholic look on her friendÆs face, seemingly that of a condemned man having one last look at the outside world before execution. She embraced slowly her friend before gently pushing her off and lifting both of them to their feet. Focusing on Hayate, she brought out a tissue and started dabbing at the tears on her face. So concentrated she was on her task she nearly missed Fate in the corner of her field of vision.

ôAhh Fate-chan looks so cute blushing so red like that. Wait is that LIGHTNING crackling around her hands.ö

Abruptly turning towards her best friend the brunette was momentarily stuck for what to say and simply settled for her trade mark ôNyah aha ha ha, eh.. Fate-chan,ö as she sheepishly scratched the back of neck, completely lost in this strange situation that had developed. On one hand she had one of her very close friends who had collapsed, had a break down then delivered her first kiss and on the other hand she had her best friend whose redness she now more heavily weighted towards being anger due to the electricity crackling around her tightly clenched fists.

She was rather relieved when she was saved from having to come up with some explanation as Fate was poleaxed by a Hayate CannonTM and given a severe and through mouth search utilising the strongest muscle in the human body.

ôWell... I guess we know which way Hayate-chan swings now,ö she thought dully, eyes wide staring at the rather erotic scene taking place scant meters in front of her on the school roof. ôIs that her hand on Fate-chanÆs breast?! Ecchi Hayate-chan...ö
?
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#21
OH HO HO! Sweet!

That was a funny read.
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#22
Yeah, I started writing, got to a couple k words then realised I didn't need to write so much explaining the plot device. Sooooo came up with the above snippet instead. Timeline insertion is at the As epilogue when they're all standing together before they head off for the TSAB.
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#23
MyLittlePwnies said:
Yeah, I started writing, got to a couple k words then realised I didn't need to write so much explaining the plot device. Sooooo came up with the above snippet instead. Timeline insertion is at the As epilogue when they're all standing together before they head off for the TSAB.
*nods* Understandable.

This Hayate is very... Clingy...

Wait, what did she mean by a couple of decades?
 

MyLittlePwnies

Well-Known Member
#24
The second snippet is basically where Hayate time travels back, immediate reactions. For her, in relative time, it's been decades.

EDIT : I wouldn't say clingy more like "YOU'RE ALIVE, ALIVE!!"
 

Nanya

Well-Known Member
#25
Ah, okay.

Seriously, what you got going is some good stuff.
 
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